Destiny
by cathyL
Summary: This is the story of two people desperately in love with each other but deeply insecure. When a misunderstanding occurs they both let their insecurities take over and separate. Eighteen years later a series of events casts a new light on their past and their lives begin to unravel while the whirlwind of exposed secrets and long buried feelings affects everyone around them.
1. Summer storm Ch1 The wind of change

**FSOG characters belong to E L James. At the start of this story Ana and Christian are in the same circumstances as in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). How they got there and how they will find their way back to each other are the product of my imagination. Hope you will enjoy the ride.  
**

Ch 1 The wind of change

_Have you ever experienced a true summer storm? Imagine a glorious summer day when the sky is blue and the sun is shining, then a wisp of wind caresses your skin. The cool touch, almost pleasant on your overheated face, is so easy to ignore! Few would recognize it as a warning, a whisper quickly escalating in intensity as the wind picks up and the storm approaches._

On one such beautiful day in the last week of April, Anabelle Parson walked out of the local Bi-LO. Since her two sons were no longer living at home there were only three of them sharing the small house on the outskirts of Rock Hill, Southern Carolina, and two admittedly full bags had been sufficient to contain their groceries for the week. She had arrived in the relatively small quiet town a little over eighteen years ago with her father and her two and a half year old son, all their earthly possessions packed in the trunk of a ten years old Dodge. A vague acquaintance of an acquaintance of her father had helped her secure a part time position at the local library and that is where, towards the end of her first year in the relatively small town, she had met Dan Parson. She was volunteering her time for an evening of reading Christmas stories. He had brought his son, Nick, but the young boy became upset at seeing the other children with their mothers and Dan had explained that his wife had passed away the previous year.

Both single parents, Anabelle and Dan started seeing each other on play dates for their respective sons. Five years old Nick and the almost two years younger Eddy got along well and while the boys played, Dan shared with her how his wife, Jane, a policewoman, had been killed in the line of duty. He used to be a cop himself, training to become a detective, but after her death he had resigned from the force and started working in a car repair shop and devoted himself to raising his son. Anabelle told him about her ex-husband cheating on her and signing the divorce papers without even trying to see her or their son and how, at her father's suggestion, she had left their home town to try and build a new life. She was aware that a few months after their divorce her ex had married his pregnant mistress, but it was not a subject she wanted to discuss and the man in question was no longer a part of her or Eddy's life.

Dan and her shared their first dance on the Fourth of July. The fireworks were rather tame then and most of the celebration took place afterwards, with music and dance at the Lake Pavillion. In the excitement of the dance, their barriers lowered by alcohol and their wounded souls yearning for comfort, their lips had met before their brains could interfere. The shock of that brief touch caused their bodies to part of their own accord, the scars left by their previous relationships holding them back like anchors preventing a ship form floating away with the tide. In a moment of rebellion against the unfairness of a universe that had left both of them broken and hurting, Anabelle had placed a kiss on his cheek and his arm back around her waist. She needed this. She needed the comfort and the protection he offered and she was too tired and broken to wonder what that said about her.

During the following weeks they cautiously explored and learned to accept their respective boundaries and their casual acquaintance slowly grew into a stronger bond. Reassured that the other would not ask what neither was able to give and that both were content to settle for the soft glow of companionship, they moved in together three months later. When the combination of a stubborn chest infection, the inability of Anabelle's oral contraceptive to function while she was on antibiotics and a misunderstanding of doctor's orders lead to a pregnancy, they took the next step. They married on the anniversary of their first meeting. Their two boys, Dan's parents, Ray –Anabelle's father- and two witnesses chosen amongst their few friends were the only people attending the civil ceremony. Later in the evening, surrounded by a few more of their friends and their immediate neighbours, they celebrated in their small family room with beers and barbecued meat, music and easy banter. Anabelle became a mother to Nick, and Dan a father to Eddy. Emma, their daughter, was born a month early after a difficult pregnancy, but both child and mother were eventually sent home with a clean bill of health. With Dan mostly content to let her take the lead, Anabelle poured herself into making a home for her family and raising their three children.

The ghosts of their pasts rarely intruded on their lives. Once a year all five of them visited Jane's grave, bringing flowers and telling her what had happened during the year. A frown, or sometimes the hint of a shadow, would mar Dan's features on such occasions, but in the end, with a pat for the headstone and a last glance at the oak tree he and Nick had planted by the grave, they would make their way back to the car and to their home.

Anabelle never allowed herself to think of the past. In all this time she only spoke about it twice and the last time was many years ago. 'Belle' for those close to her settled in her new life and let the years go by. Only two major events had interrupted their peaceful existence. A major storm had wreaked havoc through the town leaving both houses and official buildings with severe damage and they almost lost their home when the insurance took too long to agree to the repairs. Two years later Emma had been run over by a car and they had had to prepare themselves for the prospect of her losing her right leg. At the last possible moment her leg had been saved by an experimental procedure. After the operation, as an alternative to the boring physical therapy for her leg, Emma had started dancing and, seven year later, she was still dedicating her performances to the brilliant surgeon who had made them possible. Eddy had grown into a tall, striking young man, with clear blue eyes and copper highlights in his brown curls, and if now and then her glance rested on his profile for a second too long, she quickly moved on, refusing to allow the past to taint her present. Even on those occasions when the memory of a pair of blue eyes so light they appeared to be gray, haunted her dreams and she would wake up with a silent wail filling every inch of her being, she would resolutely fix her eyes on the ceiling above the bed and repeat her new name until the pain receded and the howling inside quieted. She was Anabelle Parson.

The previous weekend Nick had not been able to make the trip from Charleston where he was building a career in IT, but Emma, now a sophomore in high school, and Dan had spent most of the Sunday teasing Eddy over his planned JD degree at Harvard. Hearing their carefree laughs and easy banter, she had allowed herself to enjoy a rare sense of peace and accomplishment. Dan was a good man, father and husband. He was going to be 48 later that year and had put on a little weight since he had been promoted and was mostly dealing with paperwork, but his dark brown eyes were still reflecting the gentleness that had attracted Ana to him. Those eyes had been shinning the whole weekend with pride over the news Eddy had shared with them: due to his exceptional academic record he had been granted a second scholarship and had now almost full funding for his first year of study.

Walking towards her car, lost in thought and mindful to not spill the overfull bags, Anabelle didn't pay any attention to the person getting out of the car parked next to hers. The glimpse of a man's well-polished black shoes appeared in her peripheral vision as she awkwardly placed one bag on the booth and rummaged through her purse for her car keys. Realizing that whoever had exited the car was now silently standing there she lifted her head, a small frown forming between her eyebrows. Above the polished shoes he was wearing a dark gray, well cut, obviously high quality suit and a white shirt with a navy tie. The oddity of this expensive attire in the Bi Lo parking lot was her only warning before her eyes reached his face and she froze in stunned recognition.

"Mrs Parson."

Like his face, his voice was instantly familiar. Her name however, coming from this man, felt eerie. Panic threatening to overwhelm her she shook her head as if to banish the sight in front of her.

"No," she said, "You can't be here. You don't belong here!"

"I'm sorry. I realize this must be a shock. I could not think of any other way to approach you and keep this meeting private."

The implications of this man's presence in this particular place were so profound and the ramifications so far reaching, that her body went numb, the roar of blood rushing through her ears muffling all other sounds. As the bags started gliding from her slackened arms and her weakened knees bent, no longer able to support her, the man caught her with one arm around her waist. She could offer no resistance when he gently freed the remaining grocery bag and placed it on the ground. He was saying something, but all she could do was shake her head uncomprehendingly. This could not be happening!

"Mrs Parson" the man repeated, "you should sit down", he said and gently steered her towards the passenger seat of her car, opened the door and helped her into the well-worn seat. He then handed her back the car keys and crouched down to bring his face level with her eyes.

"I am sorry to have startled you."

Her eyes a little wild darted from his face to his body, then to the parking lot surrounding them, and back again as she was desperately trying to make sense of his words and of his presence in front of her. Compassion and concern were obvious on the man's face and she appealed to those feelings when she pleaded: "Please Luke, please. Just turn around and walk away."

"I think we both know that I can't do that," he replied in a sad, quiet tone.

Her voice now barely above a whisper she begged: "He doesn't have to know."

"He knows. He has known for some time. He won't interfere. This is why I am here: to reassure you that he will not interfere. I have a letter for you," he added. "When you have read it, if you have any questions I will do my best to answer them."

"He sent you across the country to give me a letter?"

Relieved that she seemed to be regaining some of her stability he answered with just a hint of embarrassment: "As you have returned his previous letters unopened, he thought it would be best if I hand-delivered this one and explained its purpose."

His words not making much more sense than his presence, she was reduced to again shake her head in denial: "I have never received any letters from…him."

The slight pause and the use of the pronoun confirmed to Luke Sawyer that she was not willing to say or hear the name. But it was his turn to be confused. Perhaps she had forgotten. It was long ago and during what had to have been a very difficult and emotional time.

"If you give me a second I have the letter in the car," he said

Rising from his crouching position he reached into his car to retrieve a leather manila folder and a white envelope.

"What letters?" she asked.

Sawyer took a deep breath and slowly released it, carefully choosing his words: "I am not sure what happened with the other letters. It was a long time ago. Will you take this one? Take some time to read it. When you do, if you have questions, or an answer, I will be at the TownePlace."

She knew this tactic. She had been there before, when one of them would be dodging her questions. She looked at the objects in his hand. Knowing where they came from, she could not bring herself to touch them. She needed time to think. With a slight movement of her head she indicated the glove compartment.

With only a brief moment of hesitation Luke placed the letter and the manila folder in the small storage space.

"Would you please allow me to drive you home? Or would you like to call somebody to take you?"

Dan was at work and she had no idea what and how she would tell him about this meeting. She needed time to compose herself and think about what to do with the objects now stowed in the glove compartment of her car. But Sawyer was right; she was in no state to drive. Unable to formulate any other alternative she opened her palm to allow him to take the car keys from her. As the man who had driven her around so many times before sat in the seat beside her and started the engine, it didn't even cross her mind that he might need directions to her house. While he expertly maneuvered the Chevrolet out of the parking lot, another question burned its way past her lips: "How did you find us?"

Sawyer shook his head: "It wasn't me. Everything I tried ended in a dead end. When I had gone over every possibility twice and not made an inch of progress, I… gave up."

Frowning, she turned to look at his face, "I meant you as in the security team. But you looked for us yourself?"

"Yes, I did."

"So who found us?"

Only looking at the empty stretch of road in front of him, Sawyer replied: "As I said before, he has known where you were for some time. I don't know who found you or how. When I failed to do so myself, I resigned and left Seattle for a few years. By the time I returned he had already obtained the information."

"And you were not curious to find out how?"

"I admit that I was. But it was not through the security team. Nothing about you goes via the team."

"So you looked for us, failed, and then left Seattle for a few years?"

Sawyer nodded hesitantly: "Yes."

"How long have you been back in Seattle?"

Luke Sawyer had always respected her intelligence and had often disagreed with Taylor and Grey when they had tried to keep things from her. She was too smart to not notice the missing pieces. He was trying to figure out just how to deliver the information, when she interrupted his musings with a different question: "Once you have taken me home, how will you get back to your car?"

Surprised at the sudden change of topic he explained: "Someone will pick me up. I'll have to call them."

"Then can you please stop the car? I'm sure you have better things to do than to dodge my questions."

Despite her firm tone of voice, when he signalled then pulled to the side of the road, she was not sure whether she was relieved or afraid that he was apparently going to take her words at face value. Surprising her, he did not immediately get out of the car: "I am only trying to protect your peace of mind." At the look of stubborn determination on her face he quickly added: "I know you have heard this before and I often thought it was wrong to keep things from you, but this is one of the few times when I really think that you will be better off not knowing."

She looked at him and tried to read the expression on his face. His familiar traits oozed sincerity. For a moment she got lost looking at the fine wrinkles marring the skin she remembered as toned and fresh. His hair was liberally sprinkled with white and the intensity of the gaze she remembered from their shared past had mellowed somewhat. Despite the changes brought by the passage of time, this was her CPO, the man who had been charged with keeping her safe. She did not doubt that he was sincere, but neither could she relent when her current life was under attack from her past. Slowly, deliberately, she repeated her question: "How long have you been back in Seattle, Luke?"

"Eleven years."

Some powerful emotion was trying to break through her mental barriers and the effort to contain it resulted in the sudden tightening of every muscle in her body. Not nearly ready to acknowledge this new onslaught on her feelings, she hung to whatever logic she could muster: "He has known where we are for more than eleven years!? How much longer?"

"I don't know."

"What **do** you know?"

She expected Sawyer to once again dodge her question, but when his shoulders stooped, his head bent forward and his eyelids closed for a second, she knew she was going to get an answer. Her heart started hammering against her chest and she forgot to breathe. She could see his lips move, but the words took a couple of heartbeats to register: "There are pictures in his office ranging from when T…Eddy looks about five years old."

Her eyes widened: "Pictures? What kind of pictures?"

"Birthdays, Fourth of July, New Year's Eve, some school plays and sport events…"

Barely able to speak she whispered: "He has people taking pictures of Eddy?"

Realizing his mistake Sawyer rushed to explain: "No, no. I am quite certain he takes them himself."

"He comes to Rock Hill and takes pictures of Eddy?" she tried to clarify, her voice full of disbelief.

When Sawyer only nodded she blindly reached behind her to open the car door and stumbled out rambling: "Pictures. He has pictures. Of course the stalking control freak would have pictures."

Hands on her hips, blue eyes blazing, the curls of her short brown hair in disarray, she whirled around to face Sawyer who had also hurriedly exited the car. Raising her voice, perhaps at him, perhaps at some far away deity, she shouted, "He cut us off! He signed off on us! He never tried to see his son or talk to him or be near him! But he has pictures in his office? Why the _hell _does he have pictures of him in his office?"

First the question about the letters and now her rant cemented Sawyer's suspicion that either him or Ana were missing some crucial piece of information. Considering he had been the one who had delivered the unopened letters to his employer he knew he was right on that point. Knowing Christian the way she did, how could she believe he had just cut them off? Increasingly unsettled, he once again chose his words carefully: "When I went to his office, the first day back at Grey House, I couldn't hide my surprise at the pictures on the shelf. He noticed what I was looking at and informed me that unless I became aware of a security threat _'This subject is off the table'_."

That she could accept. She knew only too well the determination of the man Sawyer had quoted and the finality of his decisions. She lowered herself to the grass at the side of the road and sat down, a shiver shaking her body despite the heat. For a moment she just sat there, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down and for her breathing to become less shallow, allowing her emotions to lose some of their intensity. Nothing made sense and the man besides her did not have the answers she needed.

"I should get home," she eventually offered.

When she didn't move, Sawyer took a step towards her and offered his hand to help her stand. Back in the car, she was still lost in her own thoughts. They were both pawns in somebody else's game. Yearning for some semblance of normalcy she once again spoke: "I see you are married", she said with a nod towards the wedding band on his left hand.

A little surprised, but also relieved that the conversation was going in a different direction, Luke confirmed: "Yes I am. Diana swept me off my feet. Quite literally in fact."

A smile crept its way through her worries when she asked: "She _literally _swept you off your feet? As in a fight?"

"Well, I _was_ distracted," he replied with a smile of his own at what was obviously a fond memory. "But Diana could certainly hold her own in a fight. Her father is ex-military and she was raised around army bases all over the country."

"Is she in security too?"

"Diana? No. She has seen too many of her father's friends injured… or worse. She was not very happy with my line of work, so she was thrilled when I applied for this position."

"This position? But you are still security?"

With a quick glance towards his passenger, he replied with a hint of hesitation: "Yes, but I work mainly in the office."

Before her rational mind could stop it, the green-eyed monster within her blurted: "So you are not her CPO?"

Sawyer's hands tightened on the wheel as he mentally kicked himself for bringing the conversation back to his duties with Grey. In a feeble attempt to restore the lighter mood he joked: "A man my age lurking all day around a school might have given the wrong impression."

"A school? Why a…" she didn't finish the sentence. She had overheard Kate tell Ray about the marriage and the bride being heavily pregnant, 'weeks from giving birth'. She had filed the information - the ultimate proof that her husband had cheated on her - in the same deep place where she had buried the rest of her feelings and had never expanded on it. He had a daughter. Very fleetingly, she wondered how many children he had. It had after all been the main object of contention between the two of them: his desire to have another child pitted against her wish to give her career a fair chance.

With her house now in sight, she found the strength to finish her sentence: "I meant his wife, but you don't have to answer. It's none of my business."

Despite her effort at nonchalance, Sawyer could hear the hurt in her voice. After the turmoil he had brought into her life, perhaps he could give her this little piece of reassurance. "He isn't married", he said turning his head to the right to have a better view of the narrow driveway in front of her house. That was how he happened to witness the small flicker of relief on her face. It didn't make him think any less of her. The brief moment of satisfaction did not make her a bad person, just human. But her next reaction proved to him, yet again, that the female brain was a mystery and men would be well advised to not try and decipher its intricacies, less they live to suffer the consequences. Because if the satisfaction was fleeting and superficial, the anger suddenly replacing it made him feel grateful that they had reached their destination and he could exit the confines of the car before the imminent explosion.

"Is that why he sent you? His marriage failed and we are plan B? Does his arrogance know no bounds? Wait, don't answer that!"

Mesmerized, Sawyer watched her get out of the car.

"You can take back his letter and his legal documents and his… his… whatever else he sent you here for. Tell him Anabelle Parson has nothing to do with him, or you, or all that… bullshit."

With that she banged the car door shut leaving Luke frozen in place, wondering what the hell had just happened. Panicked at how rapidly and completely the situation had deteriorated, he rushed to do some damage control. Reaching the back of the car at the same time as her, he took hold of both her arms: "Ana, the divorce was many years ago! The marriage only lasted a few months."

Too late, Luke realized he had used her old name and by the look on her face the damage was done: instead of the anger that had filled her only a second ago, she looked lost and uncertain.

Her eyes widening with fear she took a step back from him: "My name is Annabelle Parson."

Remorseful, Sawyer let his arms drop and acknowledged her demand: "Mrs Parson."

Despite his retreat, the damage was indeed done. The years of pretending and building fences against the memories had been under attack since she had first laid eyes on him and this last slip had caused a crack that threatened to bring her walls down. Desperate to fight back, she punched the button on the trunk causing the solid cover to rise. But the shield-like structure now obscuring the rest of the car from view was not going to protect her. The white envelope and the manila folder in the glove compartment could not be ignored. If **he** had taken the trouble to have them hand delivered, he would not relent until he was certain that she had read the contents. She no longer had Ray to protect her, but she did have a husband and she trusted him. This was her home and **he** wasn't here.

A little calmer she informed the man standing beside her: "I'll discuss the letter with my husband. Have you been told to wait for a reply?"

"No ma'am. Just to make myself available in case you have any questions."

Sawyer reached for his wallet and quickly handed her a business card which, to his relief, she placed on top of the groceries before lifting the brown paper bag.

Impatient to get to the safety of her home, she ignored the pang of guilt at her lack of civility when she dismissed him with: "Very well. I'll call if I think of something."

Arms full of groceries, she then turned around and walked away leaving Sawyer standing in the driveway.

Inside the house, she leaned against the door and took in the sight of their family room: the couch with the large pillows, the low table with the varnish long gone and replaced by easier to maintain wood polish, the stack of books on the small table by her armchair and the flowers in pots of various sizes on the window sill. She was home. Taking comfort from the thought and the familiar surroundings, her breathing gradually slowed down. She kicked off her shoes then crossed the room and the hall beyond it to enter the kitchen.

Unpacking the grocery bags did not require much conscious thought and despite her best efforts her mind kept circling around whatever it was that had just happened.

They had been found. On the other side of the wooden door, locked away in the glove compartment of her car, was a letter from the man whose very existence she had spent years desperately trying to ignore. If he had made the effort to write to her, he wanted something, and she knew, like she knew the sun would rise the following morning, that he was going to get, or take, whatever it was that he wanted. The only thing she had any control over was how and when to break the news to Dan.


	2. Summer storm Ch2 Family Life

**AN: Notbuyingit has been kind enough to leave a review explaining her thoughts: "Adding a new character or changing a character's name does not an original story make!" I couldn't agree more. But that statement assumes that the characters in the two stories are the same. They aren't. Just because Ana has a husband and three children in both stories it doesn't mean that they will have the same personalities, behave the same or even deal with the same problems. Quite a few more characters from FSOG and a few of my own will also make an appearance.  
**

** Guest (my first ever review, yay!): there are many reasons why somebody doesn't like a story. Depending on why you didn't like the other one, perhaps you'll like this one more.**

** To all of you who have taken the time to leave a review, pm me, press the "follow" button or just read the story, thank you from the bottom of my heart!**

Ch 2 Family life

As she started on dinner a look at the clock on the wall told her Emma was almost thirty minutes late. She was just about to check her phone for any missed messages when the front door opened and closed with a thud.

"Mom?"

"In the kitchen!"

Emma Parson half walked, half sprinted through the open kitchen door, her jet-black hair in a tight ponytail bouncing off her shoulders and her student ID swinging over her blue shirt.

"Mom, are you alright?"

"Yes, why?"

"Your car is in the driveway and you have left your shoes by the door."

"Oh, I was just in a hurry," she said as she came around the kitchen island to embrace her daughter. "You are a bit late."

"I know, sorry. Can we talk about it later? It's nothing bad, I swear. What's for dinner? I'm starving!"

Her daughter's rapid-fire speech making her smile, she relented: "OK. Go get changed and you can tell me while you help with the food."

"Mooom!" Emma groaned.

"C'mon Emma, your dad is going to be home soon and I'm running late."

"OK. OK." said Emma, her easy going personality winning over the streak of teenage rebellion.

The water for the corncobs had just started boiling when she heard Emma running down the stairs. That girl hardly ever walked anywhere! Their own personal whirlwind reappeared in the kitchen and came to an abrupt halt in front of the counter, then sat on one of the breakfast chairs, put her elbows on the counter and propped her face between her hands.

"So how come you were late? With you being the boss and all can't you just leave any time you want?" Emma asked.

Her recent promotion to head of the library had been a source of merciless teasing from her children and her husband. Rolling her eyes Belle countered: "Oh no, you don't. Come, you can help with the salad."

Emma moved over to the sink to wash the vegetables, but her mother was not done: "So where were you?" she prompted.

With a small sigh and an eye roll of her own, Emma said: "Mandy was having a meltdown. She has been seeing this guy, Jake, and her mom isn't happy about it, and now Jenny has threatened to tell her parents she was with him over Spring Break and not with us like she'd told them."

"Mandy has been lying to her parents and you are helping her?"

"It's not like that! Well it is, but it has nothing to do with Jake. He really is a nice guy. Mandy's mom just doesn't like his parents, and it's not fair to take it out on him, and Jake and Mandy are just so cute together! Jenny had no right to say that to Mandy. I told her that, and now she's not answering my texts."

Belle listened, mostly amused at the teenage drama, yet she couldn't let go without setting a few things straight: "Still Emma, that's between Mandy and her parents. I don't think you should get involved."

"Well then Jenny should stay out of it as well."

"Emma!" Belle warned. With an afterthought, she asked: "How old is Jake?"

When Emma didn't answer, she stopped stirring the gravy to look at her daughter, who seemed to be paying much more attention than required to the simple task of mixing the vegetables in the salad bowl. "Emma?"

"He's a little older than us, but it doesn't mean anything. It's not like they are… you know or anything. A lot of the girls have older boyfriends."

Now concerned, Belle switched off the gas. "How much older?"

With another exaggerated sigh, Emma answered, "He just turned nineteen. He's an apprentice on one of his dad's construction sites. His sister is at USC and knows Eddy. That's how they met, when we went to the movies with Eddy and Nick. Eddy stopped to say hello to Carol-Ann, his friend from school, and Jake was with her and he and Mandy just clicked."

Belle remembered the evening during Spring break when Emma had brought Mandy and Jenny for an evening out on the town. Mandy had had a crush on Eddy since Emma had first brought her home four years earlier, and Jenny, Belle suspected, just liked the idea of being around older boys. Well, at least Mandy was over her crush. Lost in her own thoughts, she didn't quite catch the end of Emma's tirade.

"Sorry, can you say that again?"

Laughing, Emma said, "I'm serious. It's like all of a sudden he got his mojo back or something."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Nick and Jake's sister!"

"Nick was talking to her?" Belle asked, surprised.

Nick had inherited his father's stocky build and that had only been accentuated by the years of jujitsu training. With his bushy eyebrows and small eyes the initial impression was that of a rather foreboding presence, but he was a real charmer and therefore very popular with the girls which had led to a whole string of them parading through the house all the way through his high school years. Then in his second year in college, he had had his first serious relationship and when that ended badly, he had just stopped even acknowledging the presence of any young women let alone paying them any attention.

First the sound of the front door opening and closing interrupted her thoughts, then Dan's voice rang from the family room: "Belle?"

"In the kitchen!"

"Your car is in the driveway…and you are in your work clothes. Is everything all right?" Dan asked as he joined them the kitchen a couple of seconds later.

Smiling, Belle reassured him with a nod: "Yes, just a little late."

With a hand on her lower back, Dan gave her a kiss on the offered cheek. "OK, I'll go change."

Over dinner shared at the kitchen table, Dan told them how the owner of the car repair shop was considering opening a second shop, this time in Charlotte but Belle found it increasingly difficult to keep her mind on the conversation.

"Really," he said, "when you look at it, I wonder why we didn't think about it ourselves."

"Oh, so whose idea was it?"

"Charlie's," Dan replied with a questioning look towards his wife.

Shaking her head a little and hopping he will understand she did not want to talk in front of Emma, Belle tried to move the conversation back to the subject of Dan's work. "Well, maybe it's a good thing then that Marty is letting his son get more involved in running things."

"I'm still not sure about it. There's something about that lad that doesn't sit right with me," Dan answered.

"Mom, Dad," Emma interrupted the work talk, "since I have my restricted license now, maybe we can start looking for a car."

Dan and Belle shared a look. This was one of the few subjects on which they have struggled to reach an agreement. Dan chose to remain silent and let Belle reply: "Emma, I'm still not too sure about you driving alone. You drive well, but you get distracted, and if you are going to have friends in the car I'm afraid it will be too much."

"Mom, c'mon!"

"Belle," Dan interjected before mother and daughter entered another heated discussion on this subject, "How about this: Emma is allowed to drive alone, but one of us follows her in our own car for the first few times."

Looking at their two hopeful faces, Belle sighed, "Let me think about this. This weekend is Eddy's birthday, but perhaps next week we could go for a drive and see how it goes."

"Yes! Thank you! You'll see I can concentrate, I promise." Emma stood from the table taking her plate and glass to the dishwasher. Belle was still shaking her head when Emma informed them, "Well, I have some homework to do," and left the two adults at the kitchen table.

Bemused Dan asked "Homework?"

"Mandy and Jenny," Belle translated.

When they were done tiding up, Dan stopped his wife from leaving the kitchen by gently holding her arm. "Belle, are you OK?"

Despite the anxiety once again bubbling inside her, Belle managed a small smile: "Let me change and then we can talk."

She emerged from their bedroom changed in a pair of comfortable trousers and a loose t-shirt, to find Dan patiently waiting in the family room. The faint sound of music emanating from upstairs indicated their conversation would be private. She stopped in the kitchen and inspected the contents of the fridge and the under the counter storage area. Not finding what she was looking for she settled for dropping a few ice cubes in two glasses. Setting them on the table in front of the couch, she explained: "I think we are going to need something to drink before the end of the night."

Until this moment Dan was curious but not particularly concerned as to what was bothering his wife. The suggestion that they might need a drink - and by the look of the glasses a strong one – was however so unusual that he started getting worried. She had said that she was late…his eyes widened: "You're pregnant?"

"What?"

"Well you said you were late and you are behaving a little strange so…" Dan shrugged instead of finishing the sentence.

Finding it a little funny that that was the first thing he thought of, Belle shook her head: "From work, I was late coming from work. I'm not pregnant!"

Relieved, Dan reached for the bottle of whiskey and poured just enough to cover the ice in each glass.

Taking a sip of her drink, Belle allowed it to burn her tongue and throat, and for a split second considered just downing the whole content. Instead she carefully placed the glass back on the table. "I have received a letter from… my ex."

She raised her head in time to see the colour draining from Dan's face.

"Here? He sent you a letter here?"

At her slight nod he immediately stood up, adrenaline surging. Gone was the middle-aged office manager, instantly replaced by the former policeman. "Did you call the feds? Kate? God, did you call Eddy?"

The bewildered expression on his wife's face reminded him that she was not aware her father had shared her secret with him. Taking one step closer he crouched in front of her and took both her hands in his.

"I know everything, Belle. Ray told me. He knew he shouldn't have but he thought I needed to be able to protect you and Eddy if this ever happened. So he told me about the WPP."

"The what?"

"The Witness Protection Programme. He also told me about Kate. I know she is an undercover FBI agent acting as your friend. He knew he was breaking the rules but he trusted me. Please don't be mad at him…or at me for not telling you that I knew. Now, have you contacted Kate?"

Vaguely aware of the pressure his hands exerted on hers she once again felt her reality tilting. She gently tugged on his hands encouraging him to rise and sit next to her. Locking eyes with her husband she kept her voice steady and firm, putting as much conviction as she could behind the words, to tell him: "Eddy and I are not under federal protection. We did change our names but dad arranged for it. We are not under surveillance or anything like that."

Dan looked at her, silent for several seconds. "I don't understand. Why would Ray make up something like this?"

His wife was pondering the same question. Thinking back to the early days of their relationship she could remember how uneasy she was with her new identity, how afraid that she would slip and reveal the fact that they were living under borrowed names. She remembered how grateful and relieved she had felt when Dan didn't pry.

"Is this why you never asked me any details? Because of dad's explanation?"

Comprehension dawning, Dan nodded. They just sat looking at each other, their hands still entwined, until eventually Dan recovered from the surprise: "If you are not under WPP then why change your names, why hide?"

The question she had avoided for eighteen years hung between them and given the circumstances she could no longer avoid the subject of her first marriage.

"After the divorce I just needed to get away." The strain obvious in her voice, she continued: "I didn't want to see anybody anymore; none of them had tried to contact me. Family, friends, work… once I left him not one of them tried to get in touch. Dad and Kate were convinced he would come to his senses and try to get me back or at least get T… Eddy back, so dad came up with the name change and the move."

Dan could see the sincerity in her eyes and hear it in her voice, but he was still confused. "When Ray told me about the WPP, he wouldn't tell me what your ex had done, or who he was. He said the new identities were because you knew too much and you would be in danger if he ever found you. But you were never in danger, were you? He's not a criminal or a fugitive?"

Ashamed on behalf of her father, Belle shook her head: "No, he isn't."

"He's just a regular guy?"

Putting the words 'regular' and…him in the same sentence seemed so unnatural she feared the universe would revolt against such blatant breach of natural law. With a deep breath, she chose to stall for just a little longer: "He is a businessman, runs his own company."

"OK", Dan said, thinking aloud. "I can perhaps understand the name change and the move, even if they do seem quite extreme, but why the secrecy? You don't dare meet your mother without elaborate plans. You never visit each other and she didn't come to our wedding. Could you not just ask her not to tell your ex about your name change?"

"If anybody was going to look for us, my mother was an obvious place to start. Dad knew what he was doing and he had coached Kate. Mom was never very good at following instructions." Sadness clouding her blue eyes she admitted: "She and I were never very close. The first time I called her after we moved here…I don't know why I hoped for some emotional support from her but I did and felt…let down. After that she had no way of contacting me and I just couldn't find a reason to stay in touch with her. I did call her to tell her about getting married. I got so far as to explain that we had known each other for almost a year and it came out that I was pregnant. She… berated me about using birth control and ruining my life before I could tell her we were getting married. I never invited her to the wedding."

Dan had met Carla a handful of times through the years, and the relationship had always been strained, to put it mildly. He had thought the awkwardness was due to the fear of breaching the rules of the WPP…As he begun to realize just how many aspects of their life he had accepted or explained based on what he now knew was untrue, he found himself desperately needing reassurance on at least one thing.

"But the divorce and the termination of parental rights are real?"

Confused, Belle once again frowned and shook her head: "The divorce is real, but we never discussed custody. He never contacted me about seeing...Eddy, not even when I told him we were leaving town. I never said…"

As her eyes widened at the realization of just who might have told Dan yet another lie, Dan's whole body stiffened with apprehension.

"Belle, you changed your name and Eddy's and disappeared before you agreed on custody terms?"

Unsettled by his tone, she confirmed: "Yes. I told you: he was not interested, he didn't care."

Removing his hands from hers, Dan stood and looked down at his still seated wife, apprehension now replaced by incredulity and fear. He started pacing, but the limited space in their family room forced him to turn around after only three steps.

"You were upset and emotional, I can understand that. I don't know yet what Kate's deal is. But Ray was a former cop. There's no way in hell he didn't know exactly what he was doing."

"What are you talking about?"

Having paced right back, Dan stopped in front of her: "What I'm talking about, Belle, is the fact that the three of you have effectively kidnapped Eddy." Sitting down again, he reached for the whiskey glass and downed half the content, then patiently explained: "You have taken Eddy across the state line, without his father's consent, and took measures to hide the child from his father. You had every intention to keep him away permanently. There is no way this can be seen as anything else than kidnapping."

Starting to grasp the implications of what Dan was saying Belle's voice dropped to a whisper: "I have committed a crime? What if the father knew where we were? Would that make a difference?"

"I don't know, Belle," Dan admitted, then brought them back to their present predicament: "You said he sent you a letter? What does it say?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. I wanted to read it together."

"Where is it?"

"In the glove compartment in my car. A white envelope." Realization hitting and filling her with dread, she closed her eyes before adding: "And a manila folder."

Without another word Dan stood and went to the front door.

Alone, her eyes still closed in defence against this new fear and wondering how much more of this she could take, Belle couldn't help the thought that this must be how the accused feels during a trial, while waiting for the verdict. Dan's voice calling her name brought her attention back into the family room.

Dan sat at the other end of the couch and placed the folder and the letter on the table.

"Can you read it please? I don't think I can," she pleaded.

He picked up the envelope with the single word 'Ana' handwritten on one side. The cop in him made a note that there was no address. The husband wondered what the name was short for. With a slight hesitation, he opened the letter and felt a small glimmer of hope when he extracted two neatly handwritten pages, making the content personal, rather than official. Wondering who in this day and age would take the time to write by hand, he cleared his throat and with one more look at his wife, began reading:

_Ana,_

_Forgive this intrusion into your life. _

_I note that next month is Teddy's twenty-first birthday and his graduation. _

_I have been asked to deliver the commencement address at __the University of South Carolina this year. __I assume that he is unaware of my identity and I want to reassure you that I don't intend to make myself known to him, but I will take this opportunity to shake his hand and congratulate him on his achievements._

_In preparation for this occasion, I have taken steps to ensure that as much as possible of our shared history has been removed from the Internet. I have also declined to be interviewed for the student newspaper._

_As per our agreement, Teddy is due to gain access to part of his trust fund on his twenty-first birthday. I have made arrangements for the first cheque and a brief explanatory note to be delivered to him the Monday after graduation. Considering the circumstances, our names have been removed from all the documents and the source of the fund has been rendered anonymous. A copy of the updated documents is enclosed in the folder that accompanies this letter._

_I have also included the deeds for the house and GP. These were in your name before our wedding and are therefore your property. I can continue to ensure they are well looked after, or I can relinquish their care to you – should you wish._

_Let me know._

_Christian_

Dan had mentally prepared himself for harsh words, perhaps even threats, from a wronged father. But nothing in the letter was hinting at that and if he were to be honest it didn't make much sense to him. The letter didn't even mention the parental relationship. Was Eddy even the same as the Teddy mentioned in the letter? Scanning the pages for any clues he might have missed and not finding any, for a brief moment he hoped that this was a mistake. He raised hopeful his eyes only to be confronted by the sight of his wife curled up at the other end of the couch, arms hugging her body, eyes closed and tears streaming down her face. "Belle?"

The single word caused her to bury her face in the pillow resting behind her and the silent tears to be replaced by quiet sobs shaking her shoulders. Like most men confronted with a sobbing woman, Dan was instantly out of his element. His years of marriage didn't provide much in terms of experience. The only other time he could recall seeing Belle this upset was when her father had passed away. Hesitantly, he went to her and placed a hand on her trembling shoulders.

"Hey, this is not so bad. He doesn't sound angry."

Ana shook her head and barely managed to speak between sobs: "He had no right to do this. He had no right to write this to me. He did this on purpose."

"What did he do on purpose?"

Catching her breath in big gulps of air, she raised her head from the pillow and waved her hand in the general direction of the now discarded letter: "He said the same things when…we had a… fight, before we were married. He wrote me an email. He used the same words."

"He wrote you an email more than twenty years ago and you both remember the exact words?"

Ana stared at him then squeezed her eyes shut rejecting the implications behind Dan's question. She took a deep breath and when she opened her eyes again her gaze fell on the manila folder.

"Oh, Dan, what are we going to do?"

"Maybe if I understood this better… Can I ask you a few questions?"

She nodded and he was instantly overwhelmed by the multitude of things he wanted to know. He picked up the letter. "He calls you Ana and Eddy is Teddy?"

"Yes. Dad thought it would be easier if our new names were similar to the old ones. Eddy was two and a half; it would have been too confusing to have a completely different name."

Trying to avoid sounding like he was conducting an interrogation, Dan stated rather than asked: "He mentions a trust fund."

"He set it up when T… Eddy was born."

When Dan didn't say anything, she reached for the folder and opened it to reveal several bound documents.

Dan's hesitation lasted less than a second. Belle was his wife and Eddy was his son. Whatever this Christian wanted with them concerned him as well. He moved closer and their shoulders touching they read the summary on the cover page:

Summary of terms and conditions governing access to the monies held within this trust fund:

The trust fund is held for the sole benefit of Mr Edward Parson.

The funds will be made available to Mr Parson according to the following schedule:

\- The first payment consisting of $10,000 will be made on the first Monday following Mr Parson's successful completition of an undergraduate degree.

\- Subsequent monthly payments of $10,000 will continue uninterrupted until Mr Parson's thirtieth birthday.

\- On the Monday immediately following Mr Parson's thirtieth birthday a lump sum of $10,000,000 will be made available to him, subject to the conditions detailed in paragraphs 6-9.

The typed words were followed by three written lines in the same neat handwriting as the letter:

_As we have agreed he will not initially be made aware of the lump sum payment. I have prepared similar documents for the next two stages of his trust fund. Perhaps this is a good place to remind you that Teddy is the sole heir to my company._

Defeated, Ana allowed herself to slump against the couch, her head resting against the backrest and her eyes staring at the ceiling.

Dan took his time re-reading the document. Several seconds ticked by and he had to clear his throat against the sudden dryness.

"You knew about this?"

"Yes. We…set it up together. He wanted…Eddy to have everything all at once but it was just too much. We…compromised, split the fund in several stages."

In a monotone voice as if reading from the newspaper, she explained: "The payments will go up every ten years. There will be another one off payment when he turns forty - a hundred million - and a final one of one billion another ten years later. He would be fifty, it wouldn't really matter anymore. It was more a form of insurance in case something went wrong with the business, the company."

"A billion dollars?"

"Yep."

"Eddy has a trust fund of one billion dollars and is due to inherit a company?"

"His company, yes."

Ana lifted her head from the backrest and reached for her barely touched whiskey. This time she did down the content before putting the empty glass down again.

"Who exactly is he, Eddy's father?" asked Dan, the determination in his voice making it clear he expected a straight answer. And yet she could not bring herself to utter the name, to speak it out loud.

"Grey Enterprises and Holdings, GEH. He owns the company," is the closest she could come to acknowledging her past.

Speechless, Dan simply starred at her. When he found his voice again it was full of incredulity.

"GEH is one of the biggest companies in the country. Eddy is the heir to the company? You told me he had remarried, had other children."

"He did. His wife was pregnant." Pausing as tears were once again threatening, she remembered the misunderstanding with Sawyer when she had asked about '_her_'. "A daughter, I think."

Dan could see her eyes glistening in the soft light and heard the pain in her voice. His heart went to her at the same time as his mind was reeling under all the information. Rationally he knew that it wasn't Belle that had lied to him, yet he couldn't help the feelings of insecurity and mistrust. Besides, the reasons for which he had previously refrained from asking about her past no longer existed.

"Belle, I can see that this is hard for you to talk about, but I need to know. Eddy is my son."

"Of course he is. You were there for him. No one will ever take that from you. No amount of money will replace that. Eddy loves you. He looks up to you. You are his dad."

Touched by her words, Dan knew they were sincere and allowed them to soothe him. He reached out and put an arm around her shoulders. "Thank you, I think I needed to hear that. Shall we go through the rest of this?"

Ana nodded so he picked up the next set of papers. This time the handwritten note was on top of the bundle:

_Your presence would have been required for a change of name on the deed._

He turned his attention to the legal document with the big bold letters on top "Washington real estate deed". His eyes stopped on the name of the grantee 'Anastasia Rose Steele'. He turned his head towards Belle with a question, but stopped himself at the sight of the single tear falling down her cheek. The shake of her head and the pleading look in her eyes once again swayed him to postpone his questions.

The remaining bundle was thicker and once again introduced by a hand written note:

_Again the ownership of the company could not be transferred to a new name in your absence. A cheque for your earnings as owner is attached. _

Dan did little more than leaf through the rather thick bundle of documents. Beyond the name of the company – Grey Publishing – and the name of the owner – Anastasia Rose Steele - he was not even going to pretend he understood any of the pure legalese. A cheque was stapled to the last page: 'Pay to the order of Annabelle Parson…..Twenty two million eight hundred and seventy four thousand two hundred and seventy three dollars only'.

He read the words a few times and glanced at the numbers to the right: 22,874,273.00. Somebody was saying his name than a hand entered his line of sight and pulled the papers away from him. He cleared his throat. The voice was still there and now a hand was massaging his arm in long strokes. He raised his eyes to meet the deep blue ones of his wife.

'None of this matters,' her words finally registered. But he couldn't help the image in his head and started chuckling.

"Imagine going with this at the First National: 'Um, yeah, hi, I'd like to cash a cheque.'"

Ana smiled and let him laugh. She kept her attention focused on him in an effort to stay in the here and now. Here in Rock Hill, with Dan, her husband, as opposed to in Seattle in the small bank office, withdrawing five million dollars. 'Mia', her mind supplied the name. Idly she wondered what had become of her. She was newly married and had just left for Europe…

Dan rubbed his thumb and index finger over his eyes then increased the pressure until it became slightly painful.

"Belle, something is not right with all of this. This" he waved his hand in the general direction of the table, "must have taken some time to prepare. And the timing of this letter is just too good with Eddy's birthday this week and his graduation at the end of the month." He tightened his arm around her in a protective gesture, a show of unity against a common enemy: "He must have found you some time ago."

Ana had been through the emotional wringer and had had a glass of whiskey. Way past due for a nervous breakdown of her own, she first snorted and then started giggling.

"Belle?" Dan asked incredulous.

Breathless with laughter she attempted to explain: "Dad he …witness…protection. Aa…and Kate. Pre….prepaid…. phone. I…I… tol…told them." She gradually started to make more sense as she calmed down a little: "I'm sorry Dan, all this…all this hiding an…and changed names. I told them: he always gets what he wants. They thought they were so clever, so careful. All these years_" She stopped to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, it's just so…we were being so careful and all it did was to maybe slow him down a little. "

"So it's true then? He has not just found?"

Still recovering from her outburst, Ana shook her head.

"Did you know about it?"

"I found out today. Luke Sawyer, the man who gave me the letter, told me."

"How many years?"

"He was not sure. He thinks since Eddy was about five."

"And you believe him?"

Ana looked longingly at the empty glass of whiskey: "Luke Sawyer used to be my CPO. I trust him. He was not happy when I asked, but I am sure he told me the truth."

Dan added this bit of information to the rest trying to wrap his mind around a reality where Belle needed close protection and Eddy was heir to a Fortune 500 company.

"So you have a billionaire ex-husband who signed divorce papers no questions asked. You take the child but nothing else and disappear. He finds you but doesn't come banging on the door, doesn't claim his son and doesn't make contact for sixteen years. Then out of the blue he contacts you to hand Eddy a trust fund and hand you real estate, a company and a cheque for twenty-two million dollars." He shook his head: "Why would he do that? Unless...did he have to? I mean, the divorce…with a guy that rich…did you have a prenup?"

"No. No prenup," she said.

The thought had crossed Ana's mind, that the reason all the Greys had cut her off so abruptly was out of fear that she would claim a part of his fortune, a warning that should there be a battle they would close ranks against her. The memory of so suddenly being cast aside was as painful now as it had been then. Unable to sit still anymore she stood and paced to the front windows, the darkness outside a match for the emptiness once again threatening to engulf her.


	3. Summer storm Ch3The clouds are gathering

****AN This has been an intense week and I can't thank you enough for all the pms and reviews. Most of all I would like to thank DCOliver who has been so gracious and kind and even mentioned this story in her AN. ****

****Quite a few of you wondered about what had happened all those years ago. We aim to please: this is part 1 of 4 "what everybody knew".****

Ch 3 The clouds are gathering

"No prenup" he had said. Breakfast at Bellevue and Christian fighting with Carrick about the prenup. She was his world then. Blindly reaching out to support herself on the window frame, she let her forehead rest against the solid surface. Hesitant at first, her voice grew steadier as she spoke:

"Kate was supposed to interview him for the student newspaper. It had taken her nine months to get the interview but on the actual day she had the flu, so she sent me instead. That's how we met. We were engaged five weeks later and married after another five weeks. His father wanted him to have a prenup, and so did I, but he wouldn't hear of it. I had left him once, for a few days. He said that…" Her throat tightened at that particular memory. She just couldn't go there. The memory of their love and the pain of their breakup were hitting her in waves threatening to break her. Wiping her tears with one hand she continued: "When I filed for divorce Kate wanted me to do it: take half his fortune, his company. But I couldn't do that. It was never about the money. Not for me."

Dan listened quietly. He could hear the hurt in his wife's voice and he could now add shame to the other emotions the night's revelations had stirred. He had assumed that Belle's reluctance to speak of her past was born out of fear and resentment. He had never realized that she was grieving just like he was…and maybe worse. Fate had taken Jane away from him and Nick, while she had to live knowing that her husband had willingly abandoned her and their child. He stood and went to the kitchen to get some tissues then returned to the family room and walked to the window where she was still standing. Without a word he offered her a tissue and let one arm lightly rest over her shoulders.

"I'm sorry Belle. I didn't know."

Ana reached up to squeeze the hand resting on her shoulder but otherwise remained silent, lost in her thoughts and in her memories.

"You still love him," Dan eventually broke the silence, with a statement born out of compassion, her obvious distress stirring memories of the early days of his loss.

She hesitated. She had not considered that question in such a long time that she was afraid of what attempting to answer it would do to her. She allowed herself to feel Dan's presence beside her, his arm lightly resting over her shoulders, his hand enclosed in hers. Having him there was comforting, reassuring. They were not in love with each other but they did love each other. They were attentive to each other and supportive of their respective needs. Admitting to having feelings for another man was quite different from just not having those feelings for him. There was also a subtle but no less important difference between your heart belonging to the memory of a dead person and it belonging to a living, breathing one. Perhaps this was not logical, but emotions rarely were. Was it right to disturb the peace of their lives, their convenient and amicable arrangement?

But they were going to have to deal with the contents of the letter and _he_ was going to be there at Eddy's graduation. Her heart skipped a beat and her mind froze on that thought, unable to move past it. There was no need to look for an answer in some deep recess of her soul. And Dan deserved to know the truth.

"Yes," she finally admitted both to Dan and to herself.

The single word remained unchallenged, hanging undisturbed in the air around them.

Ana was, to her own surprise, mostly relieved. She could at least stop running from her feelings. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with. She knew her love was without hope but simply admitting that it was there had lifted a burden off her shoulders.

Dan had patiently waited for Belle's answer. He had been afraid to hear it spoken out loud, afraid that it will change things between them. Perhaps there was a small, subtle change, but most of it was due to his realisation that he didn't know much at all about his wife, rather than her admission of loving somebody else.

"It's getting late," he said.

Ana turned her eyes away from the darkness and towards the soft warm light in the family room. The muffled beat of music could still be heard coming from upstairs. With what she hoped was a reassuring squeeze of Dan's hand she disentangled herself from his arm and went to the table to pick up the leather bound folder. She wordlessly handed it to Dan and together they made their way through the living room and the corridor to their bedroom.

xXx

A short drive away, Luke Sawyer was staring at his phone muttering a whispered but heartfelt "I'll be damned."

Since he had first laid eyes on Ana earlier that afternoon, nothing had gone as planned.

He had expected the initial surprize, the shocked reaction: she had run away from Seattle and had spent almost twenty years thinking she had succeeded in her effort to hide. What he had not counted on was to be also left shaken and doubting himself.

Her reaction to the news about the pictures, her angry words, full of hurt '_He abandoned us! He signed off on us! He never tried to see his son or talk to him or be near him!_' had convinced him she had not been aware Grey had tried to contact her and alarm bells had started ringing in his mind. Forced to keep his attention on restoring her balance, he had filed the unsettling feeling for latter analysis.

After leaving her, his next task had been to report back to his employer. His call was answered on the first ring:

"Grey."

"I have delivered the letter and the documents."

"And?"

"She was …surprised."

"But she took the letter?" the demanding male voice insisted.

"She asked me to place them in the glove compartment of her car."

TAfter a moment of silence. much more subdued the voice asked: "Anything else?"

It was Sawyer's turn to hesitate: "I have told her about the pictures."

Growling the man ordered: "Spit it out Sawyer."

"She asked how you found them. When I could not answer that, she wanted to know how long you have known."

Sighing, the man stated: "She was angry."

"Yes, sir."

"Does she know how to contact you?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well. Inform me immediately if she calls."

"Yes, sir."

The line had gone dead.

Back in his suite he had sat down and attempted to run the complex operation that was the GEH Security department from a laptop and a mobile phone. That was going to be an exercise in frustration in any case and in his current state of mind it had proven futile. He had eventually forwarded his calls to voice mail and went for a run.

He needed to figure out why Ana's lack of knowledge about Grey's letters was bothering him so much. One important lesson in his line of work was to not get emotionally attached: he had to remain objective if he was to be able to perform his duties. As Ana's bodyguard he had spent quite a lot of time in her company and he had to admit he liked her. With Grey being his highhanded, overpowering, controlling self, a camaraderie had developed between him and his charge, helping them both cope with his very demanding employer. But he had never allowed the relationship to become something more personal.

He had barely made it out of the hotel's parking lot and onto the mainly deserted street when he had to admit that the only possible explanation for Ana's lack of knowledge was that somebody had interfered with the communication between his employers. His job as part of the security team was to prevent outside interference in his bosses' lives and he had failed to do that. He had been unaware that the threat even existed. So what had he missed? What had they all missed?

'Start with what you know,' was the advice Taylor had given him when he had been left holding the hot potato of finding Ana and Teddy.

_By the time the craziness that had been Mia Grey's wedding was finally over, both him and Jason were long due for some R&amp;R. The first week of October Grey was due to travel to the Far East and when Ana decided she and Teddy would spend the week in Montesano with her father, they had jumped at the chance to take the time off. _

_While him and Jason were away Jenkins was assigned to Grey, Jordan and Donovan to Ana and Teddy, and Reynolds was left in charge of the security detail. With two men on leave and two out of town, the security office at Escala was to remain unmanned. They had state of the art electronic security and in the unlikely event that there was a breach, the motion-activated CCTV cameras had been diverted to send the feed to the main security office at the house._

_Sunday morning he had accompanied Ana to the apartment to pick up whatever she thought she might need from there for the week and had run a check on the security measures. Everything was green, all systems were GO. Once he got Ana back to the house he was officially on leave._

_Exactly seven days later as he slowed down to wait for the gates to the main Grey residence to open, he got his first clue that all was not as it should have been: Jenkins was manning the gates. _

_It went downhill from there. _

_Jordan was sat in the security office bleary eyed from staring at security screens where nothing happened as the house was still empty and monitoring eight car trackers which were all stationary and all either at the house or at Escala. _

_Within five minutes he had learned that Grey had only remained in Japan for a little over half a day. Between the long flight and the time difference he had been back in Seattle since Tuesday evening and was residing at Escala. Ana and Teddy were still in Montesano and per Grey's order without a detail. Jenkins and Reynolds had fucked up and Taylor had only made it so far as to land at destination before he had to head back. Currently he was royally pissed off not only at the two but also at Grey and was about as approachable as a wild bear with a sore tooth._

_His check-in call with Taylor had been sweet and short boiling down to 'There's a full report in the security office, bring yourself up to speed. Take the evening to get your head into the game and report to Escala at 0700.'_

_The first report was from Jenkins. The whole mess had started with Grey ordering him to go to Escala, cut the security feed to the house then collect one Marlene Watkinson from the lobby. He was to take Miss Watkinson to the apartment and await Grey's arrival. His orders included not discussing Grey's orders with anybody, including the rest of the security team._

_And the dumb fuck had done just that: not as much breached security protocols as thrown the book into the garbage and kept mums about it. It was no wonder Taylor was ready to explode. In fact it was a wonder he was still working for Grey._

_Jenkins report described how Grey had arrived and exited the elevator looking angry and determined. Miss Watkinson had stood up from the couch and dropped to her knees and bowed her head, then remained unmoving, until Grey reached her. He had stopped in front of the prone figure and whatever he told her had caused the woman to quickly stand, turn towards the staircase and scurry up the stairs, not once looking at Grey. Grey himself had first gone to the master bedroom and re-emerged changed into jeans and a sweater then had also gone upstairs. He had entered the "red room" and came out holding several items._

_Jenkins believed one of the items was a camera but, he defended himself, the CCTV was a security measure not meant to spy on his employer. Grey was not in danger so he had not really paid close attention to what he was carrying in his hand._

_Grey had then joined Miss Watkinson in the last bedroom and remained there for close to an hour. He had then returned downstairs and headed for the kitchen. Ana's tablet was lying on the counter. He had taken the tablet and an empty glass to his study where he had remained for a little over half an hour. He had then ordered Jenkins to take him back to the Grey residence, leaving Miss Watkinson alone in the apartment. _

_During the drive home Grey had informed Jenkins that the following day he was to drive him to the airport but then return to Escala, take Miss Watkinson to SeaTac and put her on a plane to Vegas. He was to remain with her until she boarded the plane. Once again he had been ordered to keep this information to himself. Grey was going to inform Reynolds that he had assigned Jenkins another task and somebody else needed to accompany him abroad. _

The next relevant report was Jordan's, describing Ana and Teddy's Monday from when they had left the house to the time when Grey had ordered them back to Seattle.

_Ana had asked Jordan to drive via Escala as she needed to pick something up. Teddy and Donovan remain in the car as he accompanies Ana upstairs. She asks for help to find her tablet and he suggests that rather than searching he vast apartment it would be quicker to watch the CCTV tape from when she was there Sunday morning. They almost immediately see Ana leaving the tablet on the kitchen counter and not going back to retrieve it before she leaves the apartment. As the device is obviously no longer there they continue to watch the tape._

_They see Jenkins, Marlene Watkinson and Grey, and Jordan's report confirms Jenkins description of the events to the point where Grey goes up the stairs. Ana then stops the tape and orders Jordan to hand her the drive and leaves the security room._

_Jordan places a new drive in the recorder then, unaware of Grey's orders to Jenkins, he re-establishes the security feed to the house. From there on he had a video tape first of Ana standing in the door of the last bedroom in the corridor upstairs, then slowly closing the door, turning around and coming downstairs. She made her way straight to the elevator and Jordan had to scramble to keep up with her. _

_That tape also showed Jenkins arriving at the apartment an hour later. He goes directly upstairs to that last bedroom and knocks on the door, then opens it. He comes down a few seconds later and in less than ten minutes Marlene Watkinson exits the bedroom and comes downstairs. They leave the apartment together. _

_The rest of Ana's day was covered by the second part of Jordan's report: Ana asked him to drive her to Kate Grey's house. After about an hour Ana, Kate and Teddy leave Kate's house and him and Donovan are informed they are headed for Montesano as planned. They arrive at Ray Steele's house without incident. When they retrieve the luggage Donovan also hands Ana her tablet. It turned out Grey had handed it to him in the morning just before he left for the airport. The damn thing had been in the glove compartment of the car the whole time._

_Later in the evening Grey called Jordan and ordered him and Donovan back to Seattle, despite Jordan's protests that Ana and Teddy will be left unprotected. They inform Reynolds and return to Seattle._

_For his own part, Reynolds had admitted that he had been unhappy about Grey re-assigning Jenkins and requesting somebody else, but had not felt able to do anything about it other than to log it for Taylor to deal with at their return. He had been more concerned to suddenly see Ana in the apartment and had suspected there might be a problem with the motion sensors. That incident had been logged as priority especially since he had taken steps to re-test the system and everything seemed to be in working order. He had no idea that Taylor had not been aware of Marlene's presence so he had not thought much about Jenkins retrieving her from the apartment. But when Jordan had informed him Grey had ordered Ana and Teddy's detail back to Seattle he had contacted Taylor who had immediately returned to Seattle. _

_In all fairness Reynolds hadn't done much wrong and he had informed Taylor as soon as something really major happened, but that had been the third breach of protocol in 24 hours and, well sh*t flows downhill and all…_

All the reports corroborated each other and he had not found a reason to doubt any of them. The only thing he had questioned was leaving Ana and Teddy unprotected, but Taylor had had the final say in that one and his decision had been that they were safe under Ray Steele's roof.

What followed was two months of hell.

Grey remained holed up at Escala, only leaving the apartment for a few hours at GEH or for the gym. Jason Taylor was only speaking to any of them in the line of duty. The usually cheerful and caring Gail Taylor was moody and quiet. In Ana's absence he had been reassigned to be Taylor's relief at Escala and otherwise had, like most of the team, fuck-all to do. Still, the tension in the penthouse was unbearable so he was grateful for the days when he was assigned at the house on the Sound instead.

After about a month Grey seemed to start pulling himself together. He was still not spending much time at GEH but had resumed seeing his shrink and was using the gym on a regular basis. He'd even had a decorator come to the penthouse although nothing much came out of that, at least as far as he knew.

Thanksgiving evening was a spectacular setback. He was on duty at Escala when Grace and Carrick Grey had arrived unannounced and he overheard a drunken Christian Grey suggesting to his father that his Thanksgiving toast should be dedicated to the fact that Ana had not taken his money. '_Do you want to know what she asked for in the divorce, Dad? Nothing, that's what she asked for. She didn't want anything from me._' That's how he had found out about the divorce.

Two weeks later he was again on duty at the apartment when the receptionist called to say Mr Steele had left an envelope for Mr Grey downstairs. Grey was in his study so that's where he had taken the letter. Those moments when, with each new item coming out of the package, Christian Grey disintegrated a little further, were forever burned in his memory:

_"Sir, there's a package for you from Mr Steele." _

_Practically flying out of his chair Grey snatched the envelope out of his hand. As he ripped it open, several objects spilled on the desk: Ana's wedding and engagement ring, her wrist watch and her favourite bracelet, three smaller envelopes, several credit cards and an usb stick with a note taped around it. _

_All colour drained out of Grey's face and he fell back in his chair as if his legs had been cut from under him. His jaw clenching so hard that the teeth grinding against each other made an audible noise, he extracted the remaining papers from the larger envelope. The man's eyes were moving while he read, quickly flipping through the pages, then his arms fell against the edge of the table, the bound documents landing with a soft thud on the hard surface._

_The script at the top of the paper was large enough that he could read it upside down: 'Superior court of Washington County.' A little to the right 'Temporary order' was spelled in bold letters. _

_Grey stretched a trembling hand towards the usb stick, un-wrapped the note and stared at it for several seconds. Eventually Grey's lips moved, but the sound was so low he couldn't quite make out the words. In the background the elevator pinged as his brain finally deciphered the almost inaudible sounds: 'find them'. Grey managed to lift his head and stare straight at him: 'Whatever it takes'. _

The emptiness behind the stare, the devastation on the man's face, the strangled sounds that were barely sufficient to carry the words to his ears: had he believed in ghosts, this is how he'd imagine one would look like.

He had not been aware of Jason Taylor's presence until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Keeping his eyes on Grey, Taylor had told him to go to GEH and report to Welsh and that he will brief them later. That was the last time he had set foot at Escala and he had not seen Grey again for several months.

He had not known Grey had written those letters, but seeing them returned unopened, he had assumed that Ana had just sent them back, together with her jewellery and credit cards. He was still unsure if he, or any of them, should have suspected someone had deliberately kept Ana and Grey apart. He was even less certain of what he was supposed to do with this piece of information so many years down the line.

Panting and sweaty after his run he had returned to his suite and switched his phone back on. The message awaiting him had brought him back to the present with the effectiveness of a punch to the gut.

_Jason: 'Rock Hill is a long way from Seattle Luke. 6pm tomorrow, your room'._


	4. Summer Storm Ch4 Memory Lane

******I know the previous chapter has left many of you confused. I had to do it this way so that I can put you in Ana's shoes so to speak. I hope the confusion brought by the previous chapter will give you some insight into how she might have felt and that you won't judge her quite as harshly for her actions (or lack thereof). As readers you will all find out more about what really happened (next chapter), but all Ana had to go on was a deafening silence from everybody!******

Ch 4 Seeds of doubt

Keeping her past and her feelings hidden deep inside had been a matter of self-preservation for Ana for so long it had become reflex. She had started the day assuming her usual role and performing the tasks required of her: wake up, feed her family, get dressed, go to work. The one thing she had not been able to do was look in the mirror and confidently remind herself of her new full name. It took a conscious effort to respond to being addressed as 'Belle' or 'Mrs Parson'. Despite the events of the previous day, or perhaps because of them, even thinking of her old name was unbearable. Unknown to the rest of the world, she was, for now, nameless.

At the end of the workday she was mechanically putting away the papers that had been scattered all over the desk when her mind, finally released from the tight leash on which she had kept her wayward thoughts, rebelled. Instead of the light brown, worn surface of her desk the image of a polished, immaculate black surface flashed in front of her eyes. The tidy desk was something she had learned from him. From the man for whom she had not been enough after all; the man who was now back in her life and, more importantly, in her son's life.

Eddy had started calling Dan 'dad' in the days after Emma's birth. Emma was still a baby when the boys got into a fight and Nick pointed out that Dan was not Eddy's 'real dad'. She and Dan had sat with both boys and explained that while Nick's mom had been taken away from him by an accident, Eddy's dad just couldn't be his dad. He lived far away and had a different life with a different family but, they had hurried to add, they had their own family were she and Dan were mom and dad for all three children. The conversation had been more difficult for Nick than for Eddy, since he could still remember Jane, while Eddy had no memory of his father. It had ended with Nick admitting he was jealous of Eddy calling her and Dan 'mom' and 'dad' when he only had a dad. In the following weeks he had hesitantly started calling her 'mom', as if trying the word out. She knew he had talked to Dan about Jane, needing reassurance that he didn't betray her memory by calling somebody else 'mom'.

Eddy had not asked about his biological father again. He had seen his birth certificate lacking the name of the father when he had applied for his driver's license. She was with him as he had studied the document for a few seconds before handing it back to her. Eddy had brushed off her half-hearted attempt to open the discussion by telling her that 'Dad is my dad,' and she had let it go. After all she had once known another man who had shown no interest in finding his biological father.

Now however despite there being no names on the trust fund, the very existence of the fund would force Eddy to make a decision. If he decided he wanted to know more…he wasn't five anymore and nothing in that letter gave any indication that…_**he**_ had changed his mind in any way. The papers were anonymous and he had ensured their history would not be easy to discover. _'I don't intend to make myself known to him,'_ the words that had seemed reassuring yesterday were now a poisoned dart. Then there was the reminder that Eddy was his heir. Was that what his son was to him? A means to ensure his empire lived on?

By the time she reached the house her emotions were a mixture of anger, fear and guilt. She drove the car into the small garage and made it to the side door before her hand froze on the door handle. The pictures! Birthdays, New Year's, school plays… how did Christian know about the school plays? The answer to that question was immediately obvious: he had them under surveillance!

A chill running down her spine she ran to the windows at the front of the family room. Nothing looked suspicious: Mrs Thomson's cat was sitting on the front porch, the Robinsons' cars were sticking out of their drive way, Linda's front lawn was a little overgrown… She racked her mind for memories of unusual cars or unfamiliar faces at the school events, but there were just too many faces and often poor lightning… Her hand flew to her mouth to stifle a gasp: that tingling of her skin and the feeling of being pulled as if by a powerful magnet making her a little dizzy! They weren't there all the time and she had put them down to being anxious. Frantically she dredged up scraps of memories until one of them stood out from the rest: Eddy's first piano performance. She had felt the hairs rise at the back of her head from the moment she had sat down, but then it had gotten worse, the feeling had become more intense, her whole skin tingling until she could barely concentrate on the music anymore. She had spent most of the performance fearing she was going to be sick. Tears stung her eyes: he had been there!

She was still standing by the window when Dan's car pulled in the drive way more than an hour early.

"Hi," she greeted him. "You're home early."

"I left early. I was too distracted to do much work. How are you?"

The simple question had such a complicated answer that her mind went blank and her only answer was an empty stare.

With a sigh, Dan stretched his arm out to her. "Sweetheart, we need to talk. Emma is at Amanda's, something about her friend needing her."

Her heart rate picking up again, she nodded then reached out to take Dan's offered hand.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Me?" Ana replied, "What about you?"

Of the two of them Dan was certainly the bigger eater, and he was not much of a cook.

"A little," he answered with a twinkle in his eyes.

It was an old joke between them, him asking her if she was hungry when he was the one who needed feeding.

All trace of amusement gone, he offered: "We could order something."

"No, it's OK. I'll make some stir-fry. It won't take long and we can talk while I cook. Just let me get out of my work clothes."

A few minutes later, Ana, now wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, was slicing chicken breast into stripes while Dan sat by the kitchen counter. This was something they had done often over the years: discuss and make decisions while Ana cooked and Dan watched her, then helped with tiding up and setting the table. Encouraged by the familiarity of the scene, he told her: "I've been thinking about this all day, Belle. Mostly I've been thinking about what to tell Eddy and how to tell him. I looked him up, Christian Grey," he admitted. "I don't know how much there was about the two of you on the web before, but there's hardly anything there now. I found a biography that mentions his first marriage."

He saw Ana's shoulders tense as she looked at him expectantly.

"You are Anastasia Steele and Eddy is Theodore Raymond Grey - after his grandfather and great grandfather?"

Ana moved the chicken strips onto a plate and started on the vegetables. With pleading eyes she offered: "They are just names."

"It's all right, Belle. For me you are Anabelle and Eddy Parson. Just checking. There was, however, another name and quite a few pictures to go with that one: Katherine Kavanagh Grey."

She sighed: "Kate met Elliot the weekend before our graduation. They got married early the following year."

Dan waited for her to continue but when she didn't, he spoke choosing his words carefully: "If Kate is family and not just your friend, she must have had some contact with him, with the rest of the family. Not only now, but back then, when you separated."

Looking down and slowly shaking her head and her voice full of hurt, Ana said: "Kate and Christian didn't like each other. She told me Christian had not tried to contact her and never mentioned anybody else asking about me, about us. I can, on some level, understand why they would not contact me, but Eddy was their grandson. I still cannot understand how they could cut ties with him so… abruptly."

"Is it possible that this is how he found you, through Kate?"

Ana frowned: "Dad had coached her, she has always been careful." She raised her hand to stop whatever question Dan had. "There's something else you should know, I think. I told you he has known where we were for several years. What I didn't tell you is that he has been here. He has been in Rock Hill."

Dan's eyebrows flew up to his hairline: "Christian Grey has been in Rock Hill? Are you sure? He doesn't have any business this side of the country, I gathered that much today, unless…" his heart started hammering inside his chest, "He came to see his son."

Ana's eyes filled with tears, which she angrily wiped away. "Why the hell would he do that? If he cared, why did he stay away?"

With a growing suspicion and a feeling of impending doom, Dan asked her: "Do you know what he does when he comes here?"

Still frustrated, Ana waved her hand: "Apparently he takes pictures of Eddy," she said and practically slammed the wok onto the cooker.

Unseen by Ana who was now busy adding oil and then the chopped ingredients to the pan, Dan closed his eyes and bowed his head: "When?"

"Luke mentioned birthdays, New Year's, Fourth of Julys," her voice now barely above a whisper, she added, "And school plays, sports events." She stopped herself before telling Dan that she had felt Christian's presence.

Dan raised his head and opened his eyes. "There is more, isn't there?"

Ana watched her hand trembling when she reached for the wooden spoon. It was a weird sensation, like watching somebody else.

"He keeps the pictures in his office. That's were Luke saw them."

As she told Dan about it all, her mind finally put the details together: the trips across the country, the pictures in his office, years of watching them from a distance and now suddenly the graduation and the trust fund. She turned around, a trembling hand resting against the counter for support. She looked at Dan and hoped that he'd be able to deny it all, to tell her she was wrong.

The look on Dan's face was not what she had hoped to see. He was tense, with his jaws clenched and squinted eyes, he looked in pain.

Her voice hoarse, the words torn past her unwilling throat, she whispered: "He wants to be in Eddy's life."

Dan found the strength to stand up and go to her. He placed his arms around her and his chin on top of her head, holding her trembling body tight against him. He had arrived at the same conclusion and he knew that he was going to have to fight for his family. He admitted as much when he answered: "Yes, he does."

The sizzling in the pan and the faint smell of burning oil broke their embrace. They both looked at the wok as if it were an unwelcomed guest. Ana sighed against Dan and pulled away; then grabbed a spoon and tossed the food. It was not too burnt. Dan got the plates from the cabinet as she finished adding the rest of the ingredients and they ate their meal in silence, lost in thought and afraid that voicing their worries would make them reality. When they were done and the kitchen was tidy again, they moved together to the family room and sat on the couch.

Dan cleared his throat: "What do you want to tell Eddy?"

"Me? Why me? Dan, we are doing this together!"

He sighed. "Yes, we are. Did you ever talk to him about his… his biological father?"

Ana shook her head. "There was one time, when he saw his birth certificate. I tried to talk to him but he brushed me off." Hoping her words would restore Dan's confidence, she told him: "He said you are his dad and walked away."

Dan nodded. "That's good, it's good." He paused, "I don't know enough, Belle, to make a decision. I have my suspicions, but I don't know enough about Grey to be sure."

"Suspicions? What suspicions?"

"The letter he wrote. For me it sounds detached, distant, almost like a business proposal. It doesn't give anything away. He doesn't even mention parenthood. All you get from it is that both you and Eddy are due a boatload of money."

He waited for the words to sink in then added: "For you however, the words had a very special meaning. You said so yesterday, and I saw the effect they had on you. I don't have a head for business, but I have tried to learn and I have watched others. These guys, the successful ones, they have a way with words."

Ana nodded, agreeing with him, so he continued: "Grey, his letter, you were probably right: he worded it the way he did on purpose," he took her hand in his and locked his eyes on hers: "I think he is leaving it up to you. If you had forgotten, the letter would be as cold and distant to you as it was to me. But if you remembered…he is letting you know that he too remembers." Before she could interrupt him, Dan continued: "He has waited all this time to tell you… I think he has waited for Eddy to be old enough. I think he wants Eddy to know about him, but he is leaving it up to you: to take the money or not, to tell Eddy or not, to acknowledge the memory or not."

Ana heard the words: Christian did not just drop a bomb on them, he was reaching out to her and she felt a measure of gratefulness that he didn't just send the trust fund letter to Eddy without a warning, that he didn't just show up at graduation. For those two things he was not asking permission, he was telling her they were going to happen. But the rest…

"Dan, I never lied to Eddy. I didn't give him any details, but I didn't lie. I think we should tell him that the trust fund is from his biological father and let him decide how much he wants to know. But if he asks, I think we should tell him."

Still holding her hand Dan sighed: "I agree. After the finals, or maybe after graduation, we could talk to him then," in a softer voice he added, "And what about you?"

She understood what he was asking. Did she want to respond to Christian's letter? Her phone started ringing. An old fashioned ring signal, the one she had for people not on her contact list.

"Hello?"

"Belle, thank God I got hold of you! I don't have long. Just wanted to confirm I'll be there this weekend. I'll arrive Saturday and leave Sunday evening. "

"Hi Kate. OK, do you want me to pick you up at the airport?"

"No, it's fine, I arranged for a rental. Oh, but I won't be able to make it to Eddy's graduation. I am really sorry, I was really looking forward to it. This overseas trip has just been sprung on me and I'll be in Europe that whole week."

Kate finally stopped for breath, giving Ana a chance to reply: "It's fine Kate, really, you don't have to go to all this trouble."

Kate paused. "Belle, is everything OK?"

"Yeah, I just… I was talking to Dan. I'll see you Saturday."

"Are you sure you are OK, you sound a little off."

"I'm fine Kate, just a headache - everything all right with you? How's Ava?"

"She's fine, we're fine. Listen I have to go. I'll fill you in on Saturday. I'm really sorry about missing the graduation."

"OK, Kate, don't worry. See you Saturday."

After she hung up, she kept staring at the phone for a while. Kate! She was in Seattle with him, with the rest of the Greys. She looked up to meet Dan's stare.

"Kate can't make it to graduation, she'll be here this weekend though."

Dan leaned his head to one side, unsure of her mood. "Are you upset about it?"

"No, it's more that she was really keen on being here."

"Did she tell you why she is not coming?"

"Something about a trip to Europe," Ana's eyes grew wide, "Christian!"

"You think he had something to do with it?"

Growing more certain with every second, Ana nodded. "He is going to be here, so he arranged for her to be elsewhere."

"That would mean he knew she would be here," Dan pointed out. "Besides she is her own boss, she runs that media company."

Ana shook her head. "Dan, you have no idea of the kind of power Christian yields. He has been here for at least some of Eddy's birthdays so he has probably seen Kate. If he as much as suspects that she might be here for graduation… she should be grateful the trip is to Europe. At least she likes Europe."

Something that had been nagging at Dan's mind finally took shape: "The pictures in his office, are they just of Eddy?"

Ana was brought up short by his question. She had not dared ask Luke that, but now there was something else bothering her. It was possible Kate had not been in Christian's office, but Elliot used to be there on a regular basis. Even Grace and Carrick dropped by occasionally. The pictures had been in the office for years. Did everybody know where she was? Was Kate just playing a part? Ana's head was spinning. For her own sanity, she needed answers.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully, "But I know who does. Dan, I think I need to talk to Luke Sawyer. We both do. I think there's quite a lot that is not what it seems."

Dan nodded slowly, "I think so too. But Belle, are you sure you want to know?"

She looked at him for a while, turning the question in her mind. She finally answered: "If Eddy has any questions, I would like to be able to answer them. How long has Christian looked for him? Why? The money, the publishing company, I left it all behind once, I can do that again, but it's not only about me. Eddy will have his trust fund if he chooses to keep it, to use it. What about Nick and Emma? What if Eddy wants to meet Christian? I need a better idea of what Christian really wants."

By the end of the last sentence her voice was pleading and again Dan agreed with her. He had the same questions and perhaps a few more.

"OK. You know how to reach him?"

Ana stood and went to the kitchen to get the card from the drawer where she had stuffed it the day before. This time she took a proper look at the shiny white square with the GEH logo on the left corner:

_Lucas Sawyer_

_Executive Director, Security_.


	5. Summer Storm Ch5 The quiet before

**AN: It's been quite a long week and I apologize if I have not responded to all of you, it has really been hectic! Here it is part 2/4 of what happened "back then". Thanks to Milou who asked all the right questions, it will hopefully clear up some of the confusion.**

Ch 5 The quiet before the storm

Luke Sawyer signed off from the video conference and stretched in his chair. Damn but he missed his office! Even the simple mental arithmetic of calculating time zones had become tedious after the fifth or sixth time and the wall display with all the GEH outfits complete with times, personnel numbers, threat assessments and everything else he needed to know displayed at the click of a button was much easier on his eyes than the small computer screen he currently had to work with.

Local time was now five thirty and he knew his visitor would be on time. A quick glance through his emails and then he closed the lid and went into the adjoining room to change into more casual attire, his thoughts going back to those troubled times after Ana and Grey's divorce.

He had started on the task of looking for Ana and Teddy immediately and in the process he had been relieved of all other security duties and instead worked from the security floor at Grey House. Two weeks into his assignment Taylor had finally stopped by his desk to briefly enquire about the search but mostly to inform him that both he and Gail had tendered their resignations and their thirty days' notice was up in a few days. From that point on he was to report directly to Welch.

Grey himself had yet to make an appearance at GEH. As he was no longer on the man's personal detail all he knew was what the PR department had released: that Grey was on a leave of absence "for family reasons". Then a snow storm in the middle of January had left Grey's detail short staffed. Welch asked him to cover a shift and he found himself guarding the reception area of a private psychiatric facility where Grey, he was finally briefed, had been admitted for the past month.

Since he and Welch were the only GEH employees who had a full picture of what had been going on in Grey's life, they only had each other to discuss those details. The search for Ana and Teddy was tedious and involved a lot of waiting for information to be verified and for field operatives to report back so Welch had helped him deal with the frustration by involving him more in the running of the company-wide security. They found themselves spending increasingly more time together and becoming friends as well as colleagues.

Grey returned to GEH in the middle of March, but the intensity, the burning fire which had previously inhabited him, were gone. Instead of the electrifying presence commanding attention whenever he entered a room, the man was now more haunting the space than inhabiting it.

Two months later the news of Grey's marriage to Marlene Watkinson and of the baby that was due at the end of the summer came as a complete surprise to everybody. But his boss seemed to have found a second wind and gradually become more like his old self. By the time Samantha was born, Grey had taken back the reins at GEH.

In November, Ray Steele - his main lead and by this time his only hope to find Ana and Teddy - sold the house in Montesano and started withdrawing the cash, several thousand at a time, from locations all over the country. Looking up car rentals and airline tickets and creating a map of the locations were money had been withdrawn proved pointless. He never accomplished more than confirm Ray's presence at a certain bank on a given date. As the house in Montesano was his only link to Ray Steele and to Ana, he finally gave up and submitted his resignation.

It was at Welch's suggestion that he had contacted Jason Taylor, who had opened a training centre for private security in Montana. Over the following seven years his relationship with Jason and Gail Taylor had grown into a close friendship, but career wise he was getting restless. So when Welch called to offer him the position of team leader for the West Coast Security division of GEH he had jumped at the chance.

A few years later he had been promoted to manage the security for all GEH locations in the US and when Martin Welch announced his retirement, he submitted his application for the position, together with a presentation suggesting a complete overhaul of how the corporate security division of GEH was operating. He had been offered the position and his title had been changed to Executive Director, giving him a seat on the GEH leadership team.

He was still pondering the irony of a career path which seemed to have led him straight back to being closely involved with Grey and Ana's private lives, when a sharp knock at the door alerted him that his visitor had arrived.

At fifty-five, Jason Taylor was still in excellent shape, and the years of training and being in command could be seen in his broad shoulders, straight spine and piercing stare.

"Jason."

"Luke," Jason replied. He did not smile in greeting: this was not a social call.

Sawyer stepped aside to let him in then went to the minibar: "Drink?"

"Perhaps," said Taylor, sitting in an armchair, "Nice digs."

Returning with two glasses, Sawyer sat in the opposite armchair, his eyes briefly taking in his surroundings. It was a reasonably cosy suite. Not quite Grey's standard, but nice. He decided against mindless chitchat.

"I didn't know you were keeping track of my movements, Jason."

Jason swirled the drink in his glass, but put it back down without tasting it.

"It's not you I'm keeping track of."

"Oh?" said Sawyer, his impassive face not matching the questioning tone.

Jason sat back in the armchair and looked at his friend. "There is only one possible explanation for your presence in Rock Hill, Luke."

Luke did not offer a comment so Jason continued: "I know you have contacted Annabelle Parson, formerly known as Anastasia Grey, yesterday."

"You have her under surveillance?"

"I have been keeping an eye on her, yes."

"May I ask why?"

"I told Grey where she was, but only after he promised he would leave them alone. Just making sure he's keeping that promise. You might as well know I am aware of Grey's visits to Rock Hill."

"So it was you that found them. I thought you no longer worked for Grey."

"I didn't. He called me about a year after you left. He begged me to look for Ana and Teddy. I refused at first, but he insisted he just wanted to know if they were all right. He reminded me that Teddy was his son. If this had been Sophie… It took me a couple of months to find them. Ana was married and pregnant. She and Teddy looked happy, there was no way I would bring Grey back into her life. I called to tell him that they were alive and well. He wanted to know where they were, but I refused to tell him."

Taylor bowed his head and looked down, then closed his eyes. "He pleaded with me. He promised he would stay away, leave them alone, that he only needed to see them. With a final, 'Please Jason,' he hung up."

Taylor took a large sip of his drink: "I sent him the address and warned that I'd hold him to his promise. I was going to set up surveillance on them anyway so… I know about his visits. I also have a strong suspicion he's not been quite as hands off as he said he'd be, but he has never tried to make contact - until yesterday."

Sawyer had listened quietly to his friend's story but before he could form a suitable question, his phone vibrated with a new text message. He read the text and then surprised Taylor by handing him the phone: _Grey: 'Tell Jason I have every intention of keeping my promise.'_

Taylor noticed the frown on Sawyer's face. "Problem?"

"I didn't tell him about our meeting."

"You think he might have you under surveillance?"

"Anything is possible with Grey. I'd like to think I would have noticed if I was being followed."

Assessing his friend, Jason considered the situation for a moment. "He probably has her under surveillance. I drove by her house before coming here."

"Well, no point speculating," said Sawyer said, and took his phone to type a reply_: 'Yes sir. Suggestions on how to handle questions?'_

"Speaking of which," he continued after sending his message, "How did you find them? I am fairly certain I had covered all the possibilities."

"Ray Steele: it had to be him, but he would have needed help. Grey gave me access to the security files, so I went back to the initial background check we did on him. I looked into his friends and colleagues. One of them was working in the local FBI office, so I paid him a visit and got their new names."

Everything in Sawyers expression conveyed disbelief: "He convinced an FBI agent to give them false IDs?"

Taylor shook his head: "Not false, new."

It took another moment for Sawyer to realize what his friend meant. "Witness protection? He got his pal to enter them in the programme? That was a big risk to take. What if Grey reported them missing… Oh, I see. They knew he couldn't do that, didn't they. They knew he wouldn't take the risk of the press getting hold of the story – Grey's heir missing - and alerting every whacko in the country. Not to mention that Grey himself would be a prime suspect in any missing person case. I have to hand it to the man, that was a brilliant plan."

"Yeah, it was. Hell of a risk to take though."

"For his friend, you mean?"

"For all of them: Ray, his friend, even Ana. Hiding Teddy from his father was nothing short of kidnapping, if Grey had wanted revenge…it's part of why I extracted that promise from him."

Sawyer's brows knitted in concentration. "About that, something Ana said yesterday made me wonder: she didn't seem to remember the letters Grey sent her, the ones Ray returned unopened. I know it was a long time ago and she didn't read them, but she seemed quite sure he never wrote to her."

His demeanour softening, Taylor asked: "How was she?"

"Shocked, upset, angry…" he was once again interrupted by his phone buzzing.

_Grey: 'I owe Jason a debt I can never hope to repay. Use your own judgment.'_

Handing the phone to Jason he commented: "It's not exactly permission, but…"

Taylor's shoulders dropped a little further. He put the phone down on the table still looking down at the open text message. "Does you presence in Rock Hill have anything to do with Teddy Grey turning twenty one in a few days?"

Sawyer leaned back, assessing his friend. "Why are you so concerned about this?"

"Aren't you? Despite Grey's visits, they have lived their lives in peace - why is he suddenly so keen to let her know he has found them?"

"That's their business, Jason."

"God dammit, Luke! Ana and Teddy have no idea he has been looking for them!" Taylor exploded.

Sawyer's universe stilled while Taylor's words played in his mind over and over. The same alarm bells that had clamoured for his attention the day before were again ringing loud and clear. In a measured voice, not letting the unease show, he asked: "How do you know that?"

Taylor stared, surprised at the question.

Sawyer repeated his question: "How do you know Ana is not aware that Grey has been looking for them?"

He expected Jason to dodge the answer; he expected some kind of half assed reminder that he had had them under surveillance for a while. What he did not expect was for Jason to be sitting there with a guilty as hell look on his face.

"Jason?"

Taylor stood and started pacing around the room.

"I have never quite understood that whole life style. When I first saw that room upstairs I thought 'Who the hell would willingly allow themselves to be tied up, beaten and fucked?' But then I met some of the subs. There was no doubt that they enjoyed what they did with Grey, so I put it out of my mind. They were consenting adults. Anastasia, she was different. She was innocent and she was not a submissive. The way Grey changed after he met her, it was like, well, maybe not night and day, but you know what I mean - and then he brought that ex-sub back to the apartment and Ana went to Montesano. By the time I got back to Seattle, Ray had told Grey to withdraw security or he would take Ana and Teddy away and hide them. I was furious with Grey about tearing every single damn security protocol to shreds as soon as I had my back turned, and so I didn't talk him out of it. I knew I could trust Ray to protect them. Regardless, I did arrange for covert surveillance. Anyway, after a couple of weeks Grace Grey approached me. Ana was not returning her calls or emails. That's when I knew that Ray was running interference: as upset as she must have been with Grey, Ana was not the type to just ignore Grace."

Sawyer's body stiffened: "You knew?" He sat up in the armchair, his back straight, his chin jutting out: "You were his fucking head of security, man! What the hell were you thinking?"

Jason stopped pacing and addressed Luke directly: "What did you think when Jenkins described the meeting between Grey and Miss Watkinson?"

Sawyer shrugged: "What we all thought, I suppose. That he was acquiring a new sub."

"Exactly. The thought that he was going back to wanting that from a woman, expecting it even… Ana had never been like that, not really."

"It was none of your damn business, Jason."

Jason glared at him: "You never saw him with those other women, Luke, I have. Knowing that it was consensual only stopped me from wanting to punch something. What he expected, demanded, and enforced with physical punishments, was complete and total obedience. I have seen them on their knees at his feet and him in total control over their bodies. I have a daughter, and so do you. There's no way in hell I'd ever allow my daughter near that kind of man. So maybe it was not my business but Ray was her father. And it's not like he was holding her prisoner in Montesano, so yeah, I never said anything."

Taylor sat down and downed his glass in one big gulp. They had both made mistakes on occasion and they had acknowledged them, learned from them and moved on. For Jason to get defensive like he just did, his actions had to weigh on him quite heavily.

"So that's why you looked for them when he asked you: you felt guilty."

Taylor leaned back in the armchair, deflated. "Yeah."

"So what changed your mind about telling him where they were?"

"I told you, he called and-"

"Jason," Sawyer interrupted, his firm tone not leaving any room for compromise, "You just told me how you broke Grey's trust and some pretty damn basic rules of this job because you were so protective of Ana. Grey pleading with you, as touching as it were, would not have been enough to change your mind."

The two glared at each other. Jason Taylor blinked first.

"You're right. There was something else. We all assumed Grey wanted Miss Watkinson as a sub. What if we were wrong?"

"I don't know that that would make a difference," Sawyer paused, "Oh, I see. For Ana it would make a difference, if there was another explanation. And, I now assume, for you?"

Taylor nodded.

Sawyer's eyebrows flew to his hairline: "You have reason to believe there is another explanation?"

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jason finally let go of the secret he had guarded for years: "Samantha Grey is born in August. That means she had to have been conceived in November or later. We know Grey didn't leave Seattle any time between November and March. Either you or I were with him 24/7 until the end of the year and then…"

Jason could not bring himself to say the words but Luke knew exactly what he meant: Grey had not left the private clinic where John Flynn had him admitted until early March.

When Jason found his voice again he concluded the story: "I tracked Miss Watkinson's movements after she left Seattle: she was in Vegas until February."

Sawyer shifted in his seat. Samantha Grey had been born while Grey was married to her mother, so the assumption was that she was Grey's daughter. He had never heard even a whisper suggesting otherwise. He had done the maths and figured out that she had been conceived sometime in November and had assumed that Grey had been with Marlene on some of the days when he was not at Escala.

Jason noticed his discomfort: "I am not going to the press with this, Luke, just making a point."

"And the point is?"

"Grey has sole custody of the girl. He knows the child is not his. Why would he want to keep her?"

"I expect you are going to tell me."

Jason sighed. Sawyer was losing his patience and he couldn't really blame him.

"When you came to Montana, you told us he has custody of the child from his second marriage. I was not sure that was a good environment for a child, but there was not much I could do about it.

After I found Ana and Teddy I thought I had some form of bargaining chip so my next move was to contact Madeleine Watkinson, ex-Grey. She has made a life for herself in the social circles of Miami. I threatened to expose her BDSM past and got her to spill her beans. At the time when all this started she was still in the scene and living in 24/7 relationships with her doms. The most recent one had got out of hand, she wouldn't tell me more. Then out of nowhere two men broke into the apartment where she was held, freed her from her restraints and delivered her to Escala. Grey already knew who the dom was so he got the story from her then put her on a plane to Vegas where her sister was living at the time.

Samantha Grey is the product of a drunken encounter in a bar in Vegas. Marlene has no idea who the father is. She didn't even realize that she was pregnant until three months into the pregnancy. Apparently she's pro-life: she was keeping a low profile, waiting to deliver the baby and then planning to put it up for adoption so she could try and go back to her life. The adoption agency was positive to begin with, but then she did something stupid and failed a drug test and suddenly all the doors were closed. The only remaining option was leaving the baby in an orphanage or foster care."

Shaking his head in disbelief Jason continued: "She was trying to find herself a new Dom but no one would have her while she was pregnant. One night as she was drowning her sorrows at a bar, Grey stepped out of the restaurant and saw her. He started by telling her off for drinking while she was pregnant but then he heard that she planned on abandoning the baby and really went ballistic. A few days later Grey contacted her and offered her a deal: marry him so the child will be born within the marriage and stay married at least one year. He would provide the structure, the direction she needed from a Dom, but no sexual contact. She swears Grey and her never had a sexual relationship since their original dom-sub contract. "

Jason paused to let his words sink.

"After the baby was born, she could barely stand to look at the girl, let alone care for her, so after three months she renegotiated the arrangement: she got her prenup early and agreed for her parental rights to be terminated. The records are sealed, but she told me she admitted in front of a judge to willingly abandoning the child. A psych report and two testimonies confirmed her statement and Grey got sole legal and physical custody of the girl."

Sawyer finally raised his glass and drank some of the contents.

"So you stood by and did nothing as Ray Steele kept Grey away from Ana because you thought he'd gone back to the BDSM, to being a Dom, but with what you just told me, he didn't, did he? He was not looking for a sub."

Taylor's shoulders dropped and he was looking down at his hands and when he spoke in a flat voice, the words uttered without any strength: "We all fucking judged him, Luke. Every single one of us who heard of that woman at the apartment judged him and found him guilty."

The silence covered them like a blanket. The minutes ticked by as they both wrestled with their feelings. Sawyer finally suggested they should go get some dinner. His anger and disappointment with his friend was slowly ebbing away. He knew he shared some of the blame. He had made the same assumptions, reached the same verdict. He had just not allowed that to interfere with his job.

Taylor had a harder time letting go of the rekindled feelings of shame and regret that had filled him while confessing his mistakes and his failings as head of security, so the conversation was sporadic, mostly about the training school and common acquaintances. It was almost a relief when Sawyer's phone interrupted the uneasy dinner conversation:

"Sawyer."

"Good evening, Luke, I hope I'm not interrupting you."

A pause, then: "Mrs Parson, good evening. No, not at all."

"Luke, everybody calls me Belle, I hope you could do that too."

"Of course, Belle."

"I… Dan and I have a few questions about… well, about a few things. You said I could call you."

"Yes I did. I think it might be best if we did this in person."

"That's fine. Where can we meet?"

"I could come to you or, if you'd prefer, you could come to the hotel. I can arrange for a private area to talk."

"The hotel please, and could we do that tomorrow?"

"Certainly. When should I expect you?"

Dan's voice in the background suggested: "Six o'clock"

"Luke, would six o'clock be a good time?"

"Yes, of course. I will meet you tomorrow at six in the lobby."

"Thank you. Until tomorrow then."

"Yes, until tomorrow."


	6. Summer Storm Ch6 Q&A

******AN I am so happy you liked the last chapter! It is now time to start Ana on her journey of discovery of what really happened in the past and what CG has been up to in the years since. She has not read ch 5 so it will take some time before she gets the full picture...******

******FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look****** **Back**

Ch 6 Q&amp;A

Ana and Dan greeted the new day hoping it will bring some answers while Luke found himself increasingly uncomfortable with his current assignment. He had of course reported Ana's phone call. As it had been the day before, his call was answered on the first ring:

"Grey."

"She called. I will meet her and Dan Parson tomorrow at six."

"Did you find a lawyer?"

"Yes, sir."

He had only hesitated for a second, but it had not gone unnoticed.

"You have had two months," Grey had growled.

"It's not that - I found someone who I believe is reliable, qualified and his background came back clean. It's about Mrs Parson. I have reason to believe she is unaware of your attempts to contact her before she left Seattle."

The silence at the other end of the line had lasted several seconds before a croaky voice, barely recognizable as belonging to the same man asked: "Was it Ray Steele?"

"Yes, sir."

He could hear the laboured breathing at the other end but had had to ask: "If she asks, what should I tell her?"

"Tell her what you know, Sawyer."

"Sir, respectfully, I might know more than you think."

Another long silence and he could feel the tension building with each passing second. Christian Grey did not take well to people prying into his private life, and this was as private as it got.

"She'll know if you are keeping something from her. Just answer her questions."

He had arranged to meet Ana and Dan in the breakfast room of the hotel. It was normally not open to guests in the afternoon, but the hotel manager had been amenable… for a fee.

Ana and Dan arrived just two minutes after six. Her petite figure looked even smaller next to Dan, who was head and shoulders taller than her and of stocky build. Sawyer watched them get out of the car and exchange a look before closing the doors. Moments later, introductions had been made and they were seated in the otherwise empty breakfast room - Ana and Dan together on the couch and Sawyer in a chair on the other side of the table. He had arranged for tea and coffee to be brought in and reminded the personnel that they were not to be disturbed.

"I will do my best to answer any questions you might have but I hope you understand that I might not have all the answers." He was looking at Ana, but they both nodded. "Before we begin, I will need you to sign this," he said as he presented Dan with a piece of paper.

Ana was the first to realize what the document was and sent him an incredulous look: "You want Dan to sign an NDA?"

Sawyer shrugged: "We are bound to discuss matters that are private and possibly sensitive. This is nothing personal."

More intrigued than affronted, Dan stretched out his hand. Sawyer handed him his heavy, obviously expensive pen and Dan signed the paper then asked: "Doesn't Belle get to sign one?"

Ana rubbed her forehead with her hand. "No, "she said, "he already has mine on file. Don't you Luke? Did he put you up to this?"

"No. This is a matter of security - just doing my job."

"Your husband had you sign an NDA?" Dan interrupted.

"He was not my husband at the time," Ana briefly explained, her gaze shifting from Dan to Luke. She was not about to discuss that part of her relationship with Christian in front of Dan. Obviously, despite the NDA not everything was open for discussion. She took a deep breath, then asked: "Do you know what was in the documents you brought to me?"

Sawyer knew that Grey was going to attend his son's graduation, and suspected that this was what the letter was about, but he didn't know this for a fact, so he shook his head.

"He has arranged for Eddy to start receiving money from his trust fund the week after graduation."

Sawyer's jaws tensed with the effort to contain his immediate reaction of 'Oh, fuck!'

Her eyes blazing, Ana continued: "There's also a cheque for me, for twenty million, and paperwork for the house and GP."

Sawyer could feel his eyes getting dry, so he knew he must have been staring. He was going to kill Grey! 'I won't interfere' my ass! For these people, for anybody, that amount of money was life changing. He had to say something before Ana went ballistic on him again. Retrieving a business card from his pocket he informed her: "I didn't know why, but he has asked me to find a lawyer for you. Someone trustworthy, not too far away, and who has no connections to GEH."

Ana looked at the card and shook her head. "Poor man. I assume by now you know his shoe size and the name of his high school girlfriend?"

Dan watched as the tips of Sawyer's ears turned pink. He shifted to look at Ana who explained: "Background security check."

"Oh," he said, "You know the man's shoe size, really?"

Ana sighed and waved her hand, dismissing the whole subject: "I don't care about his money, Luke. I never did and I never will. We have not yet decided what we are going to do about that."

Besides her Dan tensed but didn't interrupt.

"For the trust fund, however, we don't seem to have a choice," she said then leaned back against the wall: "If Eddy has any questions we want to be able to answer them." With only a slight hesitation she added: "Monday, you mentioned that I have returned his other letters unopened."

This time Dan turned to look at her. She had assured him Grey had never tried to make contact with her. Under his stare, Ana took her eyes off Sawyer to explain: "I never received any letters, let alone return them." She could see he was not convinced and in light of all the revelations from the past two days, she couldn't blame him. She turned back to Sawyer: "What letters?"

"They were in the envelope, with paperwork for the divorce, the rings, the credit cards and a USB stick."

Ana's eyes lost focus for a moment. "The rings, I had asked dad to take them to Escala - I didn't want to risk them in the post. It had been a month since he'd signed the petition for the divorce. He wouldn't speak with me, he didn't reply to my messages or to my letter... I gave dad the rings and the credit cards. He dropped them off at Escala before we left Seattle," her words slowed down, even her voice now sounding distant: "He had put them in a large envelope…"

Dan put his arm around her shoulders: just how much had Ray interfered in her divorce?

Sawyer took in the uncertain look on Ana's face and Dan's protective embrace. "I retrieved the envelope from the reception myself. I'm sorry, but I saw what was inside, I'm sure the letters were there."

"He wrote to me, before the divorce?"

"I only saw three unopened envelopes, addressed to you, in his handwriting."

In a determined voice, Ana asked: "Addressed to where?"

"Montesano."

"I never knew he wrote to me, Luke. If he thought...when did you start looking for us?"

"That day."

"But we only left that day; he couldn't have known we'd left!"

'Now what?' Sawyer thought. It was not a question and he had received Grey's message loud and clear 'answer her questions' he had said, not 'tell her everything'.

His hesitation was noticed: "He knew? But…how? There was no one there, there hadn't been since the first day!"

With regret evident in his gentle stare, he said: "There was a note, from your father."

"What did it say?"

"I will keep them away from you or die trying."

The colour drained from Ana's face. "He threatened Christian away from us?"

"Luke, can you give us a moment, please?" Dan asked, his eyes on his wife.

Luke stood up and moved to the other end of the spacious room, giving them some privacy.

"Belle, sweetheart, are you alright?"

Her eyes were wild and her hands were shaking. "He…he threatened Christian? He kept letters from me?"

"Your dad loved you very much, Belle. What he did was wrong, but I'm sure he meant well."

He poured her a cup of tea to give the words time to sink. Ana however just stared at the cup while tears filled her eyes. The fact remained that Christian had taken a new sub and signed the divorce. Letters or not, he had gotten his sub pregnant and married her. She used a napkin to wipe her tears.

"I know. I'll be fine. At least we know why he started looking for us: he must have seen dad's note as a challenge."

Dan was not so sure, but so far he had not learned anything to help him form his own opinion about Grey's motives. He found Sawyer's gaze to let him know it was okay to return to the table. As Ana looked lost in thought, her hands wrapped around the tea cup, Dan cleared his throat: "I understand Christian found Belle and Eddy several years ago."

He noticed Sawyer tense at the familiarity and held his stare. His use of the first name had been deliberate: he was not Grey's employee, he didn't owe him anything. A curt nod indicated that his message had been received so he continued: "Belle told me he has been here, that he has pictures of Eddy." He desperately wanted to know if the pictures included his wife, but he knew that either answer would rip yet another tear through her already tattered emotions so he chose a different question. "He must be a very busy man and we are quite a way from Seattle, so what are we talking about: a trip now and then every few years or…" He realized he was rambling. That, or the pained look on Luke Sawyer's face, made him stop.

"A few times a year," came the hesitant answer.

Ana raised her eyes searching Sawyer's face: "How often does he come here, Luke?"

"Three, sometimes four times per year."

"When?"

Sawyer tried to figure out how to phrase the answer he knew would finally bring home to the two people in front of him just how closely Grey had been watching them.

Mostly talking to herself, Ana murmured: "Birthday's, New Year's…Which ones?"

The sadness on Dan's face told Sawyer he already suspected the answer. Resigned, he answered: "All of them."

"And the rest? You said three or four times, when else?" Ana questioned him, her voice still eerie.

"Forth of July, occasionally some other times."

"He has been here for all of Eddy's birthdays?" she insisted, her eyes again filling up.

Sawyer could begin to understand why Taylor had kept his silence. What was the point in breaking her heart after all this time?

"He flies in and flies out the same day. He is only here for a few hours," was the best he could do to lessen the impact of this most recent revelation.

"Who else knows about Belle and Eddy?" Dan's voice was strong and angry.

Both Ana and Sawyer snapped out their musings and turned to look at him. His voice was not the only thing advertising his anger: under his furrowed brows his eyes were wide, his shoulders pulled back in a straight line, his hands pressed flat on the table and his body coiled. He was staring straight at Sawyer and didn't blink when Ana shifted besides him.

Sawyer's feet instinctively pushed against the floor, his body ready to jump out of the seat in response to the aggressive stance. He made a conscious effort to relax and let his body sag. It was not Ana who had asked. Did she want to know?

"His family?" Dan prompted.

Ana understood all too well where some of Dan's anger came from: that feeling of being a pawn in someone else's game, wondering how many lies he has been told, how much of his life, their life, was just make believe. Who else was secretly laughing at their pathetic attempt to escape the influence of Christian Grey? Her heart hammering against her chest, she covered one of Dan's hands with her own and curved her fingers under the side of his palm.

"Who knows about us, Luke?" she asked in a firm voice.

"A few people at GEH, Dr Trevelyan and Elliot Grey, but they don't know your names or where you are." He slowed down hoping one of them would interrupt. "His daughter." He looked at her intently: did she want him to continue? Her eyes blazed clear blue. He sighed.

"I have a security detail on him when he comes here."

Ana wondered why he would bring that up and then she realized: "They have seen Kate."

Sawyer nodded.

"Is Christian the reason for her sudden trip to Europe at the end of the month?"

Sawyer was not quick enough to cover his surprise. It sounded like Grey had found a way to ensure Kate was not going to witness his presence at the graduation ceremony.

Ana tilted her head to one side: "You didn't know about that?"

He frowned - even if she wasn't there on the day, Katherine Kavanagh Grey was bound to find out Grey had been the commencement speaker at graduation. The information had been officially released as of two days ago. What game was Grey playing?

As the surprise on Sawyer's face shifted to confusion then a hint of anger, Ana sighed: "Welcome to my world."

That remark defused Dan's anger in a way Sawyer's fragmented answer to his question couldn't. The man in front of him was just the messenger.

"So Christian knows that Kate knows about us, but Kate doesn't know that Christian knows about us and she doesn't know that he knows about her…" Ana shook her head: "This is like a bad mystery book," she said rubbing her hand over her forehead, "a really bad mystery book." With an effort she got her thoughts back on track. "Everybody else had cut ties with us, Luke. Kate is the only one who cared." She summoned the courage to ask the question that had burned inside of her for years. "Do they ever ask about us, the rest of the family?"

Hearing the pain in his wife's voice, Dan moved his hand from underneath hers and placed his arm around her shoulders, but his face remained stern and his gaze intense when he met Sawyer's. The two men locked eyes: Dan's were clearly telling Sawyer to back off; the sadness in Sawyer's was a warning that there was more to come. Husband trumps messenger, Sawyer decided and allowed Dan to take over.

"Belle, does it really matter? It's their loss, you know, you and Eddy."

Ana heard him, heard the words, but there was something more at stake here than her own pain. "We need to know, for Eddy, if he asks," she said and expectantly looked at Sawyer.

"They asked me, when I was looking for you."

With unmistakable bitterness in her voice, Ana said: "So they all waited until after the divorce. Did they think I would take his money? That I was a gold digger? Is that why nobody had any contact with me while we were in Montesano?"

"No! They don't think you were a gold digger, the family knows you didn't ask for anything."

"We were right there, Luke. We were in Montesano for two months!"

"They tried to contact you," Sawyer answered, the gentleness in his voice contrasting with her anger. "I know Dr Trevelyan tried. She came to…us, when you didn't answer her messages. She wanted reassurance that you were all right."

'Déjà vu', the expression describing the sense of familiarity with something that shouldn't be familiar at all, echoed uselessly in Ana's mind. She shook her head from left to right, with enough force to make her short curls sway. "She didn't! She didn't leave any messages! I never received any messages!"

The realization made Dan's eyes wide, while Sawyer's squint made him look as if he was in pain.

Ana kept defending herself: "They could have come by or asked Kate, they just didn't."

"I'm sorry." It was all Sawyer had to offer her.

"They did? Grace tried to contact me?"

At Sawyer's slow affirmative nod, Ana stood up and walked around the table and to the middle of the vast room, then turned around, arms crossed over her chest: "Christian sent me letters and Grace sent me messages," she stated.

Sawyer nodded and Ana started pacing back and forth. She paced the length of the room twice before she returned to the table and looked down at the two men. "I didn't know. I don't know what I would have done or said, but I didn't know."

Dan reached out, took her hand and gently pulled her towards him until he had to scoot over and she was once again seated beside him. "Luke," he said, "All this was a long time ago. Christian has known about Belle and Eddy for years and has chosen to keep his distance. In his letter he says he will not make himself known to Eddy and he has changed the trust fund so Eddy can accept it and still not find out about him. The gesture is generous, but does not involve him in anything. All these years, all the effort to remain hidden…why choose to be at Eddy's graduation?"

Ana had listened attentively while Dan was talking. His words had helped ground her. That's why they were here: what did Christian want now?

"I don't know why he finally accepted to deliver the speech. I know the University and some local charity have been chasing his press office for months before he accepted."

"Is it true then," Ana asked, "he didn't arrange for this? He was really invited?"

Sawyer shook his head, his lips curving into a tight smile: "Hounded into it. He is sponsoring an award and one of the students appears to be unhappy with the terms of this award. She has written to him over a dozen times in the past year. As far as I am aware he has not replied to her, so I believe the young lady has found another way to approach him." All traces of amusement gone from his face, he continued: "Dan, Belle, I don't know why Mr Grey has chosen this specific course of action. What I know is that he has sent me to reassure you that he will not interfere."

"He sent me twenty million dollars, Luke!"

Sawyer locked eyes with her: "He sent you a cheque. He did not deposit them in your bank account."

As understanding dawned on Ana, Dan scoffed: "Could that be because he doesn't know her bank account?"

Sawyer and Ana's heads simultaneously turned towards him.

"Luke?" she asked.

He sighed. "Not that I know of."

Dan looked pensive and Luke decided to give him a little insight into just how much detail Grey could learn about somebody.

"Size 9 and Joyce Travis, 8th grade," he said dead-pan.

As Dan and Ana both stared he explained: "The lawyer's shoe size and first girlfriend."

Ana only shook her head, but Dan still looked concerned.

"Are you going to report all of this back to him?" asked Ana.

"Yes."

Ana looked at Dan. He held her gaze for a moment then nodded.

She had thought about how to reply to Christian's letter since Dan pointed out why Christian had worded it that way. She had decided to send her own message: this was no longer about her, about them, but, yes, she did remember. Her reply to that long ago email Christian's letter had seemed to echo had been 'I would appreciate a lift'.

"Tell him we'll tell Eddy about the trust fund after graduation. It will be up to him, what happens next. And that I appreciate the warning."


	7. Summer Storm Ch7 Plans

**AN: Moving the story to Seattle for this chapter.** **Again thank you for all the reviews and the PMs. I hope you enjoy this chapter on my favourite character of the story.**

Ch 7 Plans

The next day, the man responsible for the turmoil in Ana and Dan's life was seated in his chair in the office on the top floor of the GEH headquarters. He carefully kept his face locked in a neutral expression and his stare guarded as the suspicions he had harboured for years were finally confirmed: Anastasia had never known that either he or anyone else had tried to contact her. As Sawyer finished his report by delivering her message not even his impressive control could prevent the sudden flash of hope from his voice as he sought confirmation:

"Are those her exact words: that she appreciates the warning?"

"Yes, sir."

Despite maintaining control over his facial features, there was nothing he could do about the sudden drum of his heart beating against his chest. She remembered! He had received the rest of the message as well: it will be up to Teddy. He was fine with that. He had also heard the "we" part: she and Dan, together. It was still painful to think of her as not his but the years and the numerous occasions when he had seen them together had tamed the initial burning rage to a dull ache somewhere deep inside. Time and the quasi certitude that she was not in love with her current husband…

Raising his eyes to the pictures framing the door he permitted himself a small smile. This was the first time in all the years that he had any kind of confirmation that he was not completely forgotten. And she had chosen to let him know it!

As he returned his attention to the man seated in front of him he was all business again as he replied: "Thank you, Sawyer, I realize this was not part of your usual duties. Now for Jason Taylor. He has Anastasia and Teddy under surveillance and I want to know why. How much information did you give him?"

Sawyer had had some time to think over a few things since the startling revelations in his hotel room and his frustration had been building over three days, so his tone was as harsh as that of his employer when he informed him: "None. It was Jason who provided information instead."

"I see. How much did he tell you?"

Still seething Sawyer succinctly delivered: "Everything, I think."

He had seen that look on Grey's face before: inscrutable, intense and yet far away as if the man had removed himself from the equation and only his powerful mind was at work. It was unnerving and often led to some decision or conclusion nobody had foreseen so he was prepared for the worst when Grey finally decided to speak: "'Is this a dagger which I see before me...'"

As his visitor did not seem to recognize the line he explained: "Macbeth, a play by Shakespeare. He is driven crazy by guilt."

"You are aware of Jason's involvement?!"

"Lack of involvement." Grey clarified "I figured it out some time ago. He was too good at his job to have missed all the clues. He had to have made a deliberate choice to not alert me to what was happening."

His intercom chimed: "Mr Grey, you have a meeting with the governor and Senator Williams in five minutes."

"Thank you Miss Grieg." Grey replied to the intercom then returning his attention to Sawyer: "What does Taylor hope to accomplish with his surveillance?"

"He wants to ensure that you will continue to keep your distance. I don't know how he hopes to achieve that."

"I have measures in place in Rock Hill which should be sufficient to prevent him from approaching them. Columbia however is different. I want you to formulate a plan to keep him away from both Anastasia and Teddy while they are there. I am aware that he is your friend. If you think you might have a conflict of interest I want to know now."

"My friendship with Jason will not be a problem, sir, but there is very little time left for me to recruit and brief reliable outside security."

"You have another option?"

"Your personal detail: they already know what Mrs Parson and Teddy look like. They are also familiar with the chain of command and communications protocols. All they need is a brief regarding Jason Taylor."

"You may brief Greg McKenzie. I expect to see a plan of action before this goes any further."

He knew he was dismissed but Sawyer had one more item on his agenda. He had debated whether to bring it up, but this whole situation had started with people withholding information and besides this had a potential to become a security issue somewhere down the line. So he steeled himself for the outburst that was bound to come, sent a quick thank you to whatever deity had Grey due for a meeting in a few minutes, and cleared his throat.

"Sir, there is one thing I have learned from Jason which might become a security issue. "

Grey's only answer was a raised eyebrow indicating that this should better be good. He loathed being late.

"He is aware that Marlene then Watkinson's pregnancy with Miss Grey started while she was in Vegas."

The impassive business man seated on the other side of the table had disappeared before the end of his sentence. In his place was now a man with a face like thunder, glowing stare and clenched fists resting on the desk, the tension in his shoulders and neck causing the fabric of his suit to stretch dangerously tight.

"So?" was thrown at him through clenched teeth.

"You were in Seattle at the time, sir."

To his credit Sawyer he didn't flinch when the dragon now facing him threw his chair back and stood, one fist slamming the table. He remained very still and very quiet, barely daring to watch while Grey paced away from the desk. At one point he felt the hairs raise at the back of his neck and he knew a pair of angry grey eyes had landed on him. Eventually Grey paced back to his place behind the desk. Still standing he crossed his arms then asked: "And how would that become a security issue?"

Had he dared Sawyer would have breathed a sigh of relief. Grey was still angry but this was board room angry, not homicidal fury. This he could deal with.

"If Jason and I made the connection, others might as well." He explained as succinctly as he could.

A couple of seconds passed while Grey was processing the statement from his Director of Security. When he sat back down, his shoulders were still tense but his impassive mask was back on.

"Besides Taylor and now you, the only other people who know about this are Marlene, Samantha and I. Jason Taylor is the only person who could verify my whereabouts in November that year. Are you telling me this might become an issue?"

"No, sir. I don't think Jason would go public or act on this. But I don't have enough information to determine if Marlene Randall, ex Watkins, might at some point do just that."

Grey nodded once: "I will deal with Marlene. In addition to my previous instructions I also want Taylor placed on the proscribed list for all the Greys and all GEH locations."

xXx

Sawyer had barely closed the office door behind him when his intercom buzzed again: "The governor and Senator Williams are on their way up, sir."

Without acknowledging the messenger he rose from his chair and stepped outside of his office and into the small conference room where he received most of his visitors. He was already sitting at one end of the conference table when the door opened to let in the two middle aged politicians. Acknowledging their presence he stood but allowed the visitors to make their way to him before he nodded in greeting: "Governor, Mr Senator."

"Good morning Grey," from the governor and "Mr Grey, a pleasure to meet you," from the senator accompanied the mandatory handshakes then Christian Grey sat the one end of the table with the governor to his right and the senator one chair further down the length of the table.

"What can I do for you, gentlemen?"

"Grey, you know why I asked for this meeting. The comments you have made regarding the senator's plans are simply not acceptable."

Christian's only answer to that was a raised eyebrow. Before the governor could launch into another tirade the senator raised a hand to stop him.

"Mr Grey, I was informed that saving businesses from failure and bankruptcy is a cause close to your heart."

"That is correct, Senator."

Opening his arms wide as if taking an invisible audience as a witness Senator Williams asked: "Then why not support my proposal? Surely you could see it would benefit hundreds if not thousands of small and medium sized businesses across the state. I was given to understand it is very similar to some of the things you do here at GEH."

Christian might have rolled his eyes but that would have been a sign of weakness, telegraphing his annoyance to an informed observer. The men seated at the table with him were seasoned politicians. They could read body language just as well as he could. He had also no intention of allowing himself to be drawn into an endless discussion on business models, a subject the two men clearly did not understand. His response was measured and delivered in as reasonable a tone as he could conjure.

"I am indeed often involved with failing businesses, Mr Senator. That is how I know that throwing more money at them is not the answer."

He could see the senator was getting ready to interrupt him. Without letting his irritation show he stapled his long, elegant fingers in front of him and continued: "Please allow me to explain. The businesses GEH is involved with often require restructuring, financial advice, publicity, various other measures. Without this kind of support and a solid business plan any money received would simply prolong the inevitable outcome."

It took another thirty minutes of arguments back and forth before an agreement to have a few members of the GEH mergers and acquisitions team sit down with a few of the senator's staff was reached. Tentatively hopeful that upcoming discussions will take place between people who at least had some clue about the matter at hand,

Christian returned to his office to do what he did best: ponder over a business proposal until he found a way to deal with the weaknesses, exploit the strengths and turn the numbers into profits and jobs. Two hours later he shut down his computer with one hand and picked up the phone with the other.

"Bailey", was the single word answer.

"You have the go ahead for the Nebraska project, but only if Donovan can pull it off with local resources." He said, not bothering to introduce himself.

Before he could hang up the female voice at the other end asked: "And Charleston?"

"You know better Ros. No GEH involvement in the south east."

Daring where eagles fear to tread, she insisted: "Christian, I really think you should reconsider this one."

Ros Bailey, the COO of the company and the only person allowed to address him by his first name, had worked for him for thirty years and they had a tremendous amount of respect for each other's abilities. Christian new why she was asking: it was a unique opportunity. But his position on this was not negotiable. With a look at the two portraits of the woman he loved, he told his most trusted employee: "The answer is no. I will be out of the office for the rest of the day. We'll discuss Nebraska in more detail tomorrow."

With that he did hung up. One look through the floor to ceiling glass windows overlooking Seattle confirmed that while the skies were cloudy it was not raining.

Stepping out of his office he nodded to Gregor McKenzie, his current CPO and head of his personal security, and pressed the button of the executive elevator.

While he started his descent towards the GEH parking, his mother, Dr Grace Trevelyan Grey, was being shown to a secluded table in the restaurant of the Fairmont Olympic. She knew that the deference shown by the waiting was only partly due to her advanced age. The main reason was that she was Christian Grey's mother.

Seated facing the window, she was lost in her own thoughts when a slight hush descended upon the half full room. Her son had arrived. The third richest man in the state of Washington, forty or fifty or thereabouts in the country, he was a well-known figure in Seattle. Respected by most, feared by some, occasionally hated, for her he was just her son: the little boy who was brought to a hospital in Detroit more dead than alive and who had stolen her heart the moment their eyes met. It was Grace's biggest regret that his eyes would still occasionally reflect the pain and the fear of the hurt and lonely four-year-old boy she had adopted. Among the sounds of resuming conversations and gentle clinking of silverware against fine china she lifted her eyes to greet him with a smile.

"Mother," he said bending to place a kiss on her cheek.

"Christian, how are you darling?" she asked.

Most of their meal was spent discussing the trip to Europe that Grace intended as a birthday present for Samantha Grey, Christian's daughter. She was going to be eighteen in August. By the end of the meal they had agreed that the trip would take place the month before her birthday. Her actual birthday was on the 15th and Christian planned to give her his present on that day.

A little weary on how to broach the next subject Grace waited for the waiter to remove the plates from their main course before saying: "You know she would like to go out with her friends for her birthday?"

Christian never gave his mother 'the stare', but he was so surprised that she had felt the need to intervene on his daughter's behalf he almost did this time. Catching himself in time he replied: "Yes, of course I know."

Having raised Sam as a single father, he had done all he could to have a good relationship with her. He knew she trusted him and respected him and was fairly sure she was not afraid of him, or afraid to talk to him. As a rule him and Samantha presented a united front before strangers, staff and family. Any disagreements they had, they resolved privately. Besides, the question of her birthday party did not even qualify as a disagreement. She had asked him and he had said he would consider the options. True, it had been almost a week. Even so, feeling the need to enrol his mother's support to sway him would be a first. Concerned he asked: "When did Sam talk to you about it?"

Aware of how important his relationship with his daughter was for Christian, Grace didn't hesitate to explain: "She asked my opinion a couple of weeks ago. I think she was worried considering what happened at Ava's party."

They were both silent for a moment. Ava was Kate and Elliot's daughter and had had a party for her eighteenth birthday earlier in the year. Samantha had left after a short while and had only commented that 'It was not her kind of party'. Eventually the security detail assigned to the event had called Greg McKenzie who had called Christian who had called Elliot.

The three men had arrived at the rented venue to be greeted by the smell of alcohol and cigarettes and the sight of drunken teenagers, some of them in less than decent clothing. That had led to another epic fight between Kate and Elliot, with Elliot wanting to punish Ava and Kate defending her and making the usual snarky remarks about Christian and his controlling ways. Unfortunately Grace had overheard the end of the screaming match.

"I don't think she needs to worry about that." Christian said

"Of course not," Grace replied. "Does this mean you'll allow her to go out?"

"Yes of course. I trust my daughter."

Assessing him, Grace slowly placed her napkin on the table. "Christian, what have you done?"

With a sigh Christian patiently explained: "I have reached an agreement with a club. She can have as many friends as she wants."

"Samantha Grey will be attending a night club with her friends?"

"With security, of course."

Grace only looked at him without saying anything. Christian ran a hand through his hair before continuing: "All the employees have been vetted and have signed NDAs. There will be security-trained guests in the venue, posing as patrons, and a few more will be stationed somewhere close, on standby. My own team will replace the usual door bouncers and they will ensure no professional cameras are allowed to enter the venue. Three senior security staff will be monitoring the CCTV and will liaise with the undercover team to deal with any pictures taken using mobile phones. Several members of the IT and PR departments will monitor social media for anything uploaded despite all the other measures and will deal with whatever gets posted during the evening and the following three days. Somebody from legal will be on standby in case they are needed."

By the end of his tirade Grace's eyes were swimming in unshed tears. It was common knowledge that Christian was serious about protecting his daughter's privacy. Few however realized to what lengths he was going in order to do so and what a tremendous effort it was to allow her to participate in various activities outside the house and the school. Trying to lighten the mood she teased him as she usually did when he went overboard: "Is there any point in asking how much this cost?"

Recognizing the old tease, Christian played along, rolling his eyes and replying with his customary: "No, there isn't," then continued, already half standing: "Shall we?"

In the privacy of Christian's car Grace could no longer contain herself and noted: "Something is bothering you."

Looking through the tinted window rather than at his mother Christian confessed: "I sent Ana a letter. We had a trust fund set up for Teddy when he was born. He was meant to receive the first cheque the Monday after graduation." His body stiffening with determination he turned his head towards his companion to conclude: "And he will."

Grace had accepted Christian's reasons to stay away from Ana and his son, but she also knew how much that decision had cost him. She had witnessed the joy in Christian's eyes when he had new pictures to show her and his pride in Teddy's achievements. She had also witnessed the pain inflicted by the knowledge that he was not a part of his son's life and the longing when he looked at the pictures of Teddy and Ana.

Very gently, she asked: "Have you changed your mind, about staying away?"

"No. There are no names, except his new one, on the legal paperwork."

Grace knew Christian had to be aware that the sudden appearance of a trust fund in Teddy's life would raise questions. Was he lying to himself when he said he had not changed his decision to keep his distance? "Christian!" She admonished.

With a sigh he ran his hand through his hair and resumed looking through the window: "He is my son", he said, the words a plea for her to understand.

Grace remained quiet so he turned again to look at her and with pride and wonder in his voice he informed her: "He has been accepted at Harvard, to study law."

Once again Grace's eyes were filed with tears. Carrick would have been so proud! Three years since he had passed away she still missed him, her husband, her soul mate. Christian's hand griping hers interrupted the sad thoughts. What was done was done. It was his decision, his family. All she could do was to be there for him and support him. She squeezed his hand in return.

Leaning his head to one side Christian observed her.

"You don't approve."

Grace sighed: "I know he is your son. I miss him too. It's just…this is going to be a lot to take in, especially since you don't know what he has been told about you. Do you know if he is aware that he has a different father?"

"He knows Dan Parson is not his father."

Shaking her head Grace asked: "Do I want to know how you know this?"

Shrugging Christian answered: "There is no name for the father on his birth certificate. He has Parson as his last name but he was never adopted."

The car was passing through the gates to her house in Bellevue as Grace was yet again left wondering how Christian could so casually admit knowing confidential information about other people. When they stopped in front of the impressive property and Christian helped her out of the car and into the house she raised a hand to caress his face: "You know I'm here if you want to talk about it, about anything," she said.

"I know Mom."

As he was uncharacteristically lingering in the foyer Grace asked: "Do you want to come in?"

"I think I should, but not for long. I have some work to do and I need to talk to Sam."

Moments later they were seated in the comfortable living room, Grace with a cup of tea and Christian with a coffee. Grace had learned long ago to not try and press Christian for answers and so several minutes passed in silence while Christian stared at his cup apparently lost in thought. Eventually he took the dainty cup and raised it to his lips for a sip of the scalding liquid, then informed her: "I have been asked to hand the degrees at Teddy's graduation and I have accepted the invitation."

Putting down her cup of tea Grace straightened her posture in the armchair: "You are going to hand him his diploma?"

"Yes."

This was, Grace knew, why he had seemed so troubled. The trust fund might cause some trouble, raise some questions, but he had said it was set up anonymously. The graduation ceremony however was personal. He was going to stand face to face with his son and shake his hand. And Ana will be there as well. Grace knew Christian was travelling regularly to see them, although he had refused to tell her where they lived. And suddenly her mind was made up.

"I want to come with you. I want to be there."

She was prepared to have to convince her son and was preparing her arguments when she noticed the look on his face was not of resistance but of concern.

"Mom, will you think about it? It's going to be…emotional."

That was an understatement if she had ever heard one. To see her grandson in person for the first time since he was a toddler, to witness Christian shaking hands with his son…the mere thought once again threatened her emotional stability. Before she dissolved in a mess of tears, effectively proving his point she insisted:

"I want to come. It won't be too much, I promise."

He had known that she would want to come and the only thing holding him back was the fear that it would be too much for her. She was seventy four and there were days when she looked frail and tired. The past few years had been hard on her: Carrick passing away, Elliot and Kate's constant marital problems and more recently the knowledge that Elliot had son with one of his many mistresses. A son who was almost thirteen and of which Kate was, they all believed, still not aware. At least Teddy's graduation was a happy occasion.

"Mom, if you are sure, I would be happy to have you there."

"Oh, Christian, yes I'm sure, of course I'm sure. When is it?"

"The ceremony is on May 27th. I think it will be best if we leave the day before and would you mind staying over the weekend? There is a charity fundraiser on the 29th and I have been asked to attend. They do much the same work as Coping Together and they have helped me with a couple of projects in the past."

Once the details of their trip had been decided, Christian left his mother's house with Grace watching as he made his way to the waiting car, the door opened by his CPO while the driver had already started the engine. Her happiness at the prospect of seeing her grandson in person was bitter sweet. As a grandmother she could barely wait to see him and share in his special moment. As a mother however her heart ached for Christian who she knew would need to make a tremendous effort to maintain his mask of impassivity while greeting his son.

**AN: Next chapter part 3/4 of why their lives took this particular turn: Ana's POV on the separation**


	8. Summer Storm Ch8 Lightning bolt

**AN: Without further ado,******** Ana's POV of the events that led to the end of her first marriage.******

Ch 8 Lightning bolt

After meeting with Sawyer, Dan had insisted on one change to their plans for the weekend: they would celebrate Eddy's birthday in Columbia. Far from convinced that a change in location would deter a determined Christian Grey, Ana had however kept her misgivings to herself. What would sharing them accomplish other than make Dan uncomfortable? As it were she was already torn between the heart breaking image of Christian standing somewhere in the shadows, year after year, snapping pictures of his son, and the anger and disappointment that he had never made contact with them, never tried to get to know Eddy.

And then she had to try and make sense of the shocking revelation that both Christian and Grace had actually tried to contact her before she left Seattle. Of course she had gathered that Ray had deliberately kept them from her, but that just didn't make sense. Why would he do that when he must have seen how heartbroken she was and how the loss of the rest of the family, added to the loss of her husband, had eroded whatever was left of her confidence and will to go on. He was the one who had encouraged her to ask for the divorce in order to break the silence, to show Christian that he was about to lose them if he kept ignoring her and Teddy's existence and to prove to the Greys that she was not after his money and so regain their trust…

It was true that she and Christian had had a difficult past year, tear and a half. Once she had returned to work soon after Teddy's first birthday life had been nothing short of hectic. Christian had always been working long hours, her attempts to keep her own working schedule light were constantly thwarted by events out of her control, they had and endless stream of social engagements to attend to and then Christian had started talking about having another baby.

Before Eddy was born there had not been enough time for her to do more than learn the basics of her new job and then she had stayed at home for just over one year. But now that she had put in time and effort in learning the ropes, the business was starting to pick up. In that last year besides her role as owner she was also preparing two books for publishing and had a stack of manuscripts to vet. She was gaining in confidence, gaining a sense of accomplishment and was not ready to go back to staying at home with a new born. As if that was not enough to worry about, in March Mia had announced her engagement to Paul and the wedding preparations had added to her already overfull plate.

By June Christian had had enough and had taken her and Teddy away on a week-long holiday on a privately owned island. No phones, no laptops, no interference from the outside world. Well, almost. Taylor's shadow had appeared on a few occasions, looming at the end of the terrace and leading to Christian spending a several minutes pacing back and forth, obviously on the phone with someone, but he did have an empire to run, and after each of these short interruptions he had returned to them with a 'Right, where were we?'

Where they were was building castles in the sand with their son, collecting shellfish, walking along the beach, and then at night, once Teddy was asleep, rediscovering the joy of just spending time with each other. In hind sight perhaps they should have used the time to talk about their problems, but at the time they were both so exhausted and so relieved to find that their connection was still there that they had banned the problems together with the phones and the laptops. It was on the last day, on the flight home, that she had promised she would seriously think about having another baby.

Back in Seattle in didn't take long before they were once again caught into the vortex of their lives: Mia's wedding was only two months away, both books she had been editing were due for publishing in September; Christian worked late or was out of town on business… Yet some of the good from their holiday remained. Even when she had to start travelling as well to help promote the books, and the ensuing fight had ended with raised voices and slammed doors, they had made up and found hope in the knowledge that after September things would quiet down. In the mean time they had both promised to make an effort to clear some of their work schedules and cut back on social engagements and were looking forward to having more quiet time at home.

The day after Mia's wedding Christian told her he had to leave for a business trip in just over a week. He would be gone Monday through Friday and return Saturday morning. She had jumped at the chance to take some time off herself, take Teddy and go to Montesano, away from the hectic life in Seattle, and try and fulfil her promise of giving serious thought to having another child.

The last few days before his trip Christian had seemed a little distant. Despite catching him a few times watching her with a frown and a pensive look on his face, she had put it down to his concern over his business trip and his constant worry that with him not around she would be less inclined to follow directions from their security team, the other major subject of contention between them.

With the three of them soon to be out of town for several days Christian had approved for Taylor, Gail and Sawyer to also take some time off. Friday night they had a dinner to attend and so they had left Teddy with Grace and Carrick and spent the night at Escala. It was at her suggestion that they had ended up in the play room with Christian repeatedly needing assurance that this was what she wanted. Their session had been more vanilla than it had ever been in that room and the drive to Bellevue had been quiet, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

Sunday morning he came out of his home office to inform her he had to run into town…He was gone for the rest of the morning and then for the rest of the day seemed preoccupied and gloomy. No amount of reassurance that she and Teddy will be fine in Montesano seemed to shake him out of his mood. Once she had put Teddy down for the night, she came downstairs again to find Christian sitting at the piano, his hands idly caressing the keys, not making any sound. He had stood up and came held her to him, then apologized for having been angry and short tempered in the previous months and for putting pressure on her about the baby. He had been tender and caring and come morning his last kiss had been slow and gentle…

Ana clenched her fists until her nails bit into the palm of her flesh to stop the tears that were already pooling in her eyes.

The peace she had felt after their night together and that gentle kiss was shattered only hours later when she went to Escala to look for her tablet and saw the video with that woman kneeling in front of him. She did not want it to be true, did not want to believe and for a moment considered asking Jordan to erase the tape. She had settled for asking him to hand it over to her and had dashed up the stairs to the Red Room. The door she was certain Christian had locked before they had left the apartment Saturday was unlocked. Her eyes roaming over the familiar furniture had landed on the small table next to the bed, the one Christian had had put there for her, for them. He always kept some massage oil and arnica cream and soft towels there, to take care of her before they went back downstairs. That morning the arnica cream was missing.

Her world already crashing down around her, she had closed the door and let her feet carry her to the old sub room at the end of the corridor. With barely any strength left she had opened the door to see the scene that will forever be imprinted in her mind: a woman sleeping in the bed, her jet black hair spilling on the pillows, the top of her naked back marked with red lines. On the bedside table the tube of arnica cream was lying on its side. The last few days finally had an explanation: he had not wanted her into the red room because he already had somebody to take there, someone with whom he didn't have to hold back, someone who could satisfy his need for control in and out of the playroom.

She had stormed out of the apartment but could not bring herself to face her father when she was this angry and confused and hurt, so instead for Montesano she ended up at Kate's.

Kate was about to leave for work, but she called in sick and stayed with her, listened to her. It's from Kate's house that she had sent Christian a message: "_There seems to be a guest at Escala. Want to talk about it?" _

She knew he would be in the air and would not get her message for hours so eventually, with Kate in tow, she had left for Montesano hoping to use the time before his reply to put her thoughts in order, to try and figure out what to do about what she had seen. Did he already have a sub? Had he 'just' been interviewing for one? He had been home most of Sunday, why was that woman still at Escala? Had he put the marks on her back or had they already been there? He had never marked her like that so she had no real frame of reference to even guess how old those marks would be. Did he still need that? He had said, repeatedly he didn't. He had said so just the day before. Was that a lie? Was that just because he knew that what he needed was not something she could give? Had she pushed him too far by constantly challenging him and his need for control? Is that why he had been so distant? Was he moving away from her and retreating back to what he knew? Or was it guilt over having an affair that had put that frown on his face? Was his last kiss an apology or a goodbye?

Exhausted she had fallen asleep that night while putting Teddy to bed. Christian had never replied to her text and her messages to Grace had remained unanswered. She had spoken with Jordan on the first morning when she realized the security detail was not there but after that her calls did not even go to voice mail no matter whom she called: Grey house, GP, Jordan, Reynolds…She had slowly unravelled until the only thing that still made sense was her father's advice: get a divorce, move away, get a new start.

Except that, according to Sawyer, none of that had been true. For her own sanity, she needed to find some answers, a way to verify either story. With Ray gone, there was only one other person who had been there and shared those tortured couple of month with her, and that person was due to visit in only a couple of days.

xXx

Saturday morning she was putting the finishing touches to Eddy's cake when the doorbell announced a visitor.

"Emma, can you get the door please?"

Her shouted question was only met by silence so she put the spatula down and wiped her hands on her apron to go open the door herself. She got there just as the bell was chiming for a second time.

"Moooom! Someone at the dooooor!" was heard from upstairs.

Rolled her eyes she opened the door to find Kate Kavanagh Grey standing there with perfectly glossed lips in a slight pout. Her blond hair was pinned up with a few curls framing her face, her not-so-light make-up in slight contrast with her casual attire of white trousers and coral pink blouse…

"Kate come in," Ana said and moved aside to not risk any chocolate frosting anywhere near Kate's immaculate presence.

"Belle", Kate took a step forward then stopped when she took in her friend's appearance.

Ana had not bothered with make-up and was wearing a plain t-shirt with jeans and sandals and right now a chocolate stained apron covering her from her breasts to her knees.

"Chocolate cake," Ana explained.

"Oh, right. Is the birthday boy home already?"

"Um, no, there has been a slight change in plans. Why don't you drop your bag upstairs while I finish the cake? You can join me in the kitchen. I think Dan has the barbecue going and Emma is in her room."

Kate had been to their house often enough to be familiar with the layout. She dropped her travel bag in the guest room and changed her white trousers to a pair of black ones and her high heeled designer shoes for flats. She didn't stop to say hello to Emma. There was something she needed to tell Belle and she hoped they could have a few quiet moments.

By the time she arrived downstairs Dan was in the kitchen doing god knows what with several slices of meat.

"Hi Dan, nice to see you!"

"Hello Kate," he said, then covered the meat and turned to Ana: "I still need to get the champagne. I should be back in less than an hour. I can take Emma with me."

A look passed between the spouses, then Ana nodded.

Surprised by the frosty reception Kate sat on a bar stool by the kitchen counter.

When Dan left the kitchen without another word she asked: "Is everything all right? Dan seemed a bit…"she waved her hand.

The good mood had vanished from Ana's face as she sighed: "We need to talk. But let Dan and Emma go first. In the meantime why don't you tell me how you have been? How's Ava? Has she decided where she wants to go in the fall?"

Kate launched in a description of the difficulties of running the media company she had inherited from her father and bemoaning the lack of true stories to report on, and then into how Ava had a hard time choosing between WSU and UCLA. Emma came by to say hello to 'Aunt Kate' and then the front door banged and the house was quiet.

"I've made coffee, let's go sit down," Ana said.

"Oh, Belle, sweetie, I think I know what this is about," Kate said as she swivelled around and moved from her perch by the kitchen counter to a seat at the table.

A questioning glance from Ana was all the answer she got, so she sighed: "I checked the university web page yesterday. I saw the name for the Commencement speaker".

Ana nodded, still collecting her thoughts, wondering how she was going to get the answers she needed without asking any leading questions.

"I know you asked me not to speak about him, but…"Kate's eyes were crinkled with genuine worry, "I don't know if there's anything I can do but if there is, I'm here for you, you know that."

"Kate, I have been thinking, wondering, about that time before I left Seattle."

She watched as Kate seemed to withdraw from her, leaning back in the chair, moving her hand over the surface of the table, left to right, caressing the polished surface.

"That was such a long time ago", Kate said. "We should talk about what to do about the graduation."

"I don't think there is anything any of us can do about that, Kate. Christian is going to be there whether we want him to or not."

Surprised at the apparent ease with which her friend spoke the name that had been banned from their conversations for almost two decades, Kate frowned: "But…"

Ana raised a hand to stop her: "I've been thinking about my dad a lot."

Kate relaxed a little at that.

"I know he loved me and he wanted to protect me. That first night, when we arrived in Montesano, he was upset for me. But he asked me if I was sure, told me that Christian loved me. I went upstairs with Eddy and fell asleep."

"I don't remember all the details like that, but I'm sure you are right."

"But then that's it Kate. The next morning he had completely changed his mind. He couldn't even speak about Christian; a couple of weeks later he started talking about a divorce…I keep wondering if something happened that night to change his opinion."

Kate's cheeks were slightly flushed by the time Ana finished speaking.

"You were there with him, Kate. What did the two of you talk about that evening?"

Kate stood up and started pacing through the kitchen. "What does it matter now? I don't remember everything we said. Of course he was upset for you, any father would take his daughter's side. Why would you think it has something to do with me?"

Ana shook her head: "I didn't say that, but…You never liked Christian, the two of you never got along, so I am just wondering."

"You know why I didn't like him. He was controlling you, controlling every move you made, everything you did you had to run it by him first, get his permission."

"He was my husband Kate that was my choice. And you make it sound much worse than it was."

"He cheated on you!"

"He was not the first husband that ever cheated on his wife. You…it was as if you wanted revenge on him. You wanted me to take his money, his company!"

"He wasn't just cheating on you! I saw the tape. Is that what he wanted from you? To kneel in front of him?" Kate was shouting, pacing through the small kitchen, waving her arms around and pointing an accusing finger.

A stunned Ana took a moment to be able to speak: "You saw the tape? When did you see it?"

A hand on her hips, the other nervously fiddling with her hair, Kate stopped pacing: "That night, after you went to bed. I know I shouldn't have but I …You had proof of the great Christian Grey being less than perfect, I wanted to see it for myself," she admitted as she sat down heavily on the chair.

Ana watched her friend and a picture started forming in her mind: Ray's house was smaller than this one; there was not a lot of space for privacy. The computer was on a table in the corner of the living room.

"Where did you watch it? The tape, where were you when you watched it?"

Tears forming in her eyes Kate replied: "In the living room."

"Kate, did my father see the tape?!"

Kate's tears were now running down her cheeks: "I'm sorry, Ana! I didn't mean for it to happen!"

"What happened, Kate?"

"Ray saw the tape. He got so angry! He asked what that was all about, he wanted to ask you. I panicked. If he asked you anything you would know I watched the tape, so I told him. I told him about the BDSM and the Dom-Sub thing. He was angry with me for keeping that from him so I told him Christian made you keep his secret."

Ana's eyes were now filled with tears as well: "My father thought I was Christian's submissive?"

Kate didn't answer, didn't even nod.

"Oh, God, poor dad! No wonder he wanted to keep me away from him. How could you let him think that, Kate?" Ana shouted at her friend.

"Well it was the truth, wasn't it? You always did as he told you, always had his security following you around, reporting to him on your every move."

"That was a security measure, Kate! He was protecting me, not controlling me!" Ana narrowed her eyes: "The security detail left that night. Jordan said Christian had ordered them back to Seattle. Did dad contact Christian?"

"Yes, he did. He sent him a text and before you ask I don't know what he said."

They looked at each other, angry blue eyes staring into defiant green. A corner of Ana's mind noticed Kate's mascara had run on her cheeks, ruining her flawless appearance. Kate was shifting in her seat.

"What about the rest of the family? Did dad have something to do with that as well?"

Kate shook her head: "What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Kate. I always thought it was strange that nobody ever tried to get in touch. Did you or Ray have anything to do with that?"

Kate's lips started to tremble and tears once again spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks. "Please, Ana, it was a long time ago, what does it matter now? You have Dan and your children. You are happy, that's all that matters."

Pale, afraid to hear the answer, Ana asked softly, gently, regretfully: "What did you do, Kate?"

"Ray was going to tell Grace and Carrick about Christian. I…they would have known it came from me, everybody would have. You would have never forgiven me. And Christian: god only knows what he would have done! I could have lost Elliot," Kate looked at Ana pleadingly, her eye red rimmed and her voice strained, her tall frame now huddled in the chair on the other side of the table.

"Just tell me Kate," Ana coaxed her.

"I told Ray that they already knew. That they were okay with it. That that's why they were so happy you had married Christian: because now he could have his life style without everybody wondering why he wasn't dating."

Ana had no more fight left in her. Beyond stunned, beyond feeling anything, she just nodded and waited for Kate to speak.

Kate closed her eyes: "Ray said he would make sure none of them ever got close to you, that he wouldn't let them try and convince you to go back. He said Christian was not the only one with connections. He never said what he had done, exactly, but before I went back to Seattle the next evening he told me that your phone was now safe, that my number was the only one that will be allowed through."

Ana's eyes grew wide: "'Allowed through', are you sure this were his exact words?"

"I think so", Kate frowned in concentration. "I am pretty sure. I thought it was a funny way of putting it. Does it matter?"

"Yeah, Kate, it matters," said Ana with a sigh, one hand combing through her hair. "Dad had a friend in the FBI. If he used him to monitor my calls, they could have done pretty much anything I suppose."

Ana stood and started picking up the untouched coffee.

"Can I ask you something?" Kate said, with more than just a hint of hesitation.

Ana only bowed her head.

"When you stayed in Montesano: you were so anxious, so torn. If you were not afraid of him, why didn't you go to Seattle? Why didn't you confront him?"

Her hands now shaking Ana put the kettle down on the counter and kept her back to Kate to answer.

"I never truly believed I would be enough for him Kate. When I saw that tape, when he didn't call then he removed the security detail and cleared my schedule at work, told them not to expect me in, I thought that was it. I was hurt, beyond hurt, but I was not surprised. It was the silence from everybody else that truly broke me; that they could so easily write us off."

She turned around, her back against the solid surface of the counter.

"At first I thought they were afraid I'd take his money, that they kept their distance so I'd know they would fight on his side if there was a battle. But the silence continued after I sent him the divorce papers. Even after they knew I made no claim to his fortune, it was like we didn't exist, me and Teddy. When dad suggested we could change our names, move away…I could start fresh. I could be somebody else, someone who had never met Christian Grey. But that wasn't true, was it, Kate? You never said if anybody asked about me or about Teddy."

"You never asked, you only asked about Christian."

"Well I am asking now. Did they ask you about me, Kate?"

Her eyes swimming in tears and her lips trembling, Kate clenched her jaws.

"Grace?" Ana asked.

Kate's only answer was to close her eyes.

"Mia?"

"Not until later, she didn't know, at first," Kate admitted with trembling voice.

"Elliot?"

Kate was sobbing now.

"Carrick?"

"I couldn't tell you! Ray said not to tell you. He had enough trouble keeping them away from the house. He had already told Christian that he knew about the tape, about the BDSM. It was too late. I was pregnant, I couldn't risk losing Elliot. He would have left me if he knew I hurt his brother, I know that."

"Dad was talking to Christian?!"

Kate nodded.

"When?"

"I don't know, a few times. He went to Seattle once or twice."

"Oh, so that's why Christian didn't ask you about me, isn't it? He didn't have to. He was talking to Ray."

Then something else occurred to her: "When I was waiting for Christian to contact me, to explain what I saw on that tape and the woman in that room…You and I were sitting on the veranda and I asked what the time difference was with Japan. You told me you had seen him in town, that he was living at Escala. You asked me if I was sure he ever went on a business trip."

Hopeful that her answer will set things straight again, Kate nodded vigorously: "Yes, I remember. You had told me he had left for a week, but I saw his SUV getting into the GEH garage only two days later."

Narrowing her eyes Ana asked: "And how did you know where he lived?"

"I tried to go and see him. I could see what his silence was doing to you. It was tearing me apart seeing you so heart broken. I wanted to ask him, for you, what had happened. Maybe tell him about Ray, how angry he was. Ray was scarring me Ana! He was keeping it together in front of you and Teddy, but with me he was so angry!"

Ana's eyes filled with tears at the thought of her father.

"Oh, daddy! Poor Ray! He was a police man Kate. Abuse cases were always hard on him, how the victims would not press charges, or if they did they would take them back, go back to the abuser, make excuses for their partner's behaviour. Then Mom's third husband hit her, put her in the hospital. Ray had this notion that he should have seen it, that he should have prevented it. He never quite got over the guilt and you had just told him…"

"God Ana! I didn't know! About your mom, I mean."

Ana wiped her tears with her hand. "So did you talk to Christian?"

"No. I went to the house the same day, after work. He wasn't there, the house was empty. The guard said that since Christian was living at Escala, Gail and Taylor where there too. Don't you see? He was with her, must have been. At least he had the decency to not bring her to your house."

Yeah, well, there was no red room at the house, the unbidden thought wormed itself at the forefront of Ana's mind and wouldn't budge. The truth was that Christian had needed something she could not give him. If she had had a chance to talk to him, would she have behaved any differently? Would she have stayed in Seattle and put up with seeing him with someone else? She will never know, she was not given the chance to make up her own mind. So many years later the feeling of being abandoned, discarded, shut out, still hurt as much as the thought of her husband with another woman. That part was not Christian's fault, or his family's. That was on her father, and on Kate.

The silence reigned undisturbed for several minutes. When Kate took a step towards her she just shook her head. There was only one thing she had left to say: "I think you should leave."

Standing with her back against the kitchen counter she listened to her best friend go up the stairs then come down again. When the front door opened and closed, the tears started to fall in earnest. The gentle trickle soon turned into a flood and as the sobs racked her body, she sank to the floor and gave in to the emotions crushing her.

She had fought to stay strong, at first while waiting for Christian to explain himself, then hoping she would be able to at least keep the rest of her life as it were, then fighting to build a new identity and a new life for her and her son. In eighteen years she had never really allowed herself to cry over her lost love and her lost life and now that they were here the tears were too late and they were for nothing. None of what she had based her decisions on had been true.

This is how Emma and Dan found her when they returned. The heavy sobs had quieted down but she was still on the kitchen floor and her red eyes and tear streaked cheeks immediately told them something was seriously wrong.

"Mom, what's wrong, what happened?" Emma rushed to her and knelt beside her.

Ana just embraced her and blindly caressed her head with one hand.

"Nothing, I'm just being silly. Just let me hold you."

Dan of course had a better idea of what might have upset his wife. He took the time to store the two champagne bottles safely then crouched beside his wife and daughter: "Where is Kate?"

"She left," Ana answered, her voice bleak and her eyes closed while her hand kept stroking her daughter's back.

Emma lifted her head from Ana's shoulder: "Aunt Kate left? Did you two have a fight?"

With a small smile bellied by the sadness in her eyes Ana answered: "Something like that," then she sighed. "Can you help me off the floor?"

It was Dan who stretched out a hand to help her stand while Emma also got to her feet and a little hesitant asked her mother: "Are you all right? I'm sorry you had a fight with your friend."

Ana smiled and caressed her cheek. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you. Better go check you have everything, we'll leave after lunch."

"So we're still going to Columbia?"

"Yes, of course. I'll just wash my face and then we can have lunch. Are you all packed?"

"Yes. Can't wait to give my present to Eddy! Oh I'd better check I have packed it!" she said and in sauntered off.

As soon as their daughter had left the kitchen, Dan leaned his head to one side to cautiously ask: "What happened with Kate?"

Shaking her head slowly Ana told him: "Kate told Ray a lie, then was afraid I was going to find out so she lied a little more. Based on what she had told him, Ray decided to cut off all ties with the Greys." She frowned: "Can the FBI block calls to your phone or block you from making calls?"

Dan frowned: "I don't think so. Why?"

"Kate said dad did something to my phone to only have her number 'allowed through'."

"Well, if Ray has used his FBI pal, he might have set it up directly with the phone company."

Ana nodded once, then turned and walked to their bedroom and straight into the ensuite bathroom. When she was done repairing her appearance, Dan was sat on the bed and she sat next to him.

"I'm sorry you have been drawn into all of this."

"It's not your fault, Belle, it's just that I don't know if I should be angry at Kate and Ray for manipulating you, and me, to some extent, or grateful. I am a bit of both I think."

Ana nodded her understanding: "I have lived all these years believing something that in a way had hurt more than Christian's affair. To find out now that it wasn't true, that all those people not only didn't abandon us but thought I have abandoned them… I didn't just take Eddy away from Christian; I took him from his whole family. I am grateful for having you and our children in my life Dan, I just don't know what to do with all these feelings of guilt towards everybody else."

Dan took her hands in his: "You didn't know, Belle. Are you still willing to let Eddy decide what he wants to do?"

"Yes. I know you are right and…I can't be sure I wouldn't have left Seattle anyway. Maybe not like I did but, to have stayed there would have been difficult."

She stopped and took a deep breath. She needed to pull herself together. This was her family now, her life.

"Let's eat, then we can go celebrate Eddy's birthday."

They left Rock Hill in the early afternoon. Ana, Dan and Emma were going to share a hotel room, while Nick was staying with Eddy and Tom, Eddy's roommate. During the familiar two hour drive to Columbia Ana's mood had lifted considerably. She was curious to meet the girl who had finally snapped Nick out of his reluctance to interact with the fairer sex. Eddy's present from her and Dan was a designer suit and leather shoes to go with his career prospects as a future lawyer and she was a little anxious about how well they would fit. Emma refused to even hint to what she was giving Eddy, but Ana knew her daughter had spent hours on a 'secret project' in the past few months and so it was a surprise she was looking forward to discover with the rest of the family.

Tonight there would be bowling and pizza and then tomorrow they would celebrate Eddy's 21st birthday. Everything else could wait another day.

**AN: Teddy's birthday coming next**


	9. Summer Storm Ch9 Forever more

**AN: Here we go, the Parsons celebrating Eddy's 21st birthday. There has been some wild speculation in PMs about what is going to happen and I love your imagination and how involved some of you are in this story. The most frequent question has been about CG making an appearance and to that I could only answer "sort of". Hope you will understand now why I could not explain without ruining the surprise.**

Ch9 Forever more

Sunday morning a series of grunts and moans were the only reply Nick got to the knock on his brother's door. After bowling and pizza with the parents he had taken it upon himself to introduce his kid brother to adulthood, as he had put it, and it had only taken a few shots in a crowded student bar to get Eddy drunk for the first time in his life.

Laughing, he opened the door to the bedroom. "Rise and shine birthday boy, mom made me promise to get you breakfast in bed," he said waiving the tray with fried bacon and eggs to ensure the aroma reached the huddled form of his brother.

With an even lauder groan, Eddy opened his eyes, then threw the covers off him and darted past Nick and straight to the bathroom. Not particularly inclined to listen to his brother spill the contents of his stomach, Nick opened the windows to the small bedroom before returning to the combined living room and kitchen: no point in letting the parents catch the smell of tequila that had been oozing off Eddy's breath all night.

A slightly unsteady Eddy finally emerged from the bathroom and leaned on the wall for support, then allowed himself to slide down to the floor.

Nick poured a glass of Gatorade and took it and two aspirin tablets to his brother: "Here, drink this. You might want to take a shower before mom and dad get here."

Weary of touching anything that might upset his stomach again, Eddy ignored the offered remedies: "How come you are so fresh and what was that awful smell?"

"Last night was for you bro, I barely touched anything." said Nick. "C'mon, drink this. It'll make you feel better."

"That's what you said last night."

"Yeah, well, you did feel better for a while. C'mon, or mom will kill us both if she finds you like this."

"Might be doing me a service," Eddy said, but this time took the glass and the pills.

"Slowly, drink slowly, not all at once," Nick imparted some of his wisdom.

When the glass was empty, he helped Eddy off the floor and stirred him back into the bathroom: "Shower and urgh, maybe open a window, smells like something has died in here."

Back in the kitchen Nick started a pot of coffee and threw a couple of slices of bread in the toaster. Eddy's roommate was spending the weekend with his girlfriend so they had the apartment to themselves. He plopped down in the sofa and switched on the TV. Behind him he heard Eddy shuffle back to his room and a few minutes later a knock to the door announced that the day's festivities were about to commence. Praying that Eddy was actually getting dressed and had not collapsed back on the bed he went to open the door.

"Nick, hi! It's not too early is it? I just wanted to drop Eddy's present, but thank you so much for your help yesterday!"

"Carol-Ann, hi! Do you want to come in?" Nick smiled at the young woman and her returning smile got his heart beating faster. He had thought about her since first meeting her in Rock Hill, so when he arrived in Columbia Saturday morning and she was complaining that she had been unable to find any useful information about their commencement speaker he had jumped on the occasion to help her.

This Grey person had only permitted a standard press release and had declined an interview. So he had let his brother go to his training session alone and spent almost three hours searching the internet for some bit of trivia. Finally they had happened upon a small notice in a Seattle newspaper mentioning that Grey had withdrawn funding for the Rose Award from the Washington State University. By the time he had had to leave to join his parents and Emma, he had managed to use his IT skills to hack into the WSU network and had left it to Carol-Ann to dig for more information.

As she passed him in the doorway he had to make an effort to refrain from reaching out and caressing her arm, or her back or…He stopped when he caught himself starring at her behind: too soon. He closed the door and followed her inside.

"Is Eddy up yet?"

"Yeah, he'll be out in a moment. So how did your research go yesterday?"

"Well, for somebody that important, there is surprisingly little information out there. I did find out why he withdrew the Rose Award from WSU though."

She was interrupted by Eddy coming out of his bedroom. He was now dressed in jeans and a tee shirt, with bare feet and tousled hair, still looking a bit worse for wear.

"Eddy, happy birthday!" Carol-Ann said and placed a kiss on his cheek, then proceeded to rummage through her large shoulder bag. Producing a small packet she handed it to Eddy.

"This is for you, hope you like it."

"Thanks, Carol-Ann, you really shouldn't have."

"Of course I had to, you are my friend! Will you open it? I'm dying to see it on you!"

The packet revealed a Polo sweatshirt in a dark grey colour. A few moments later they were all three seated on the couch with a cup of coffee and two not too burnt pieces of toast for Eddy, who was now wearing his new sweatshirt.

"Did you say you found out why Grey withdrew the Award from WSU?" Nick prompted.

"Yeah, I did." said Carol-Ann, her eyes darting from one brother to the other. "But it doesn't make much sense. The award has a logo: a knotted tie with a rose threaded through the loop. It's supposed to be embossed on the award paper, but WSU printed the certificates on just plain paper. That was the crime for which they lost the award. Can you believe it?"

Her eyes had once again settled on Eddy and she was obviously studying him.

Uncomfortable under her stare, Eddy asked: "Something on my face?"

Realizing she had been staring, Carol-Ann shook her head: "No, sorry, it's just that I also found a picture. Grey was 28 at the time, had just made his first billion. His eyes are lighter than yours, so pale they look gray, and his hair is more copper than brown but, it's uncanny how much you look like him. If I didn't know your family was from Rock Hill…"She stopped talking when she noticed both brothers tensing: "Did I say something wrong?"

It fell on Nick to explain: "Mom is not from Rock Hill. She and Eddy had only lived here for a couple of years before she and dad got married."

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, I didn't know. Me and my big mouth!" Carol-Ann stopped talking.

"Uh, it's alright." Eddy said trying to shake off the awkward feeling. He knew he had a biological father somewhere, but he had never wanted any more details. As far as he was concerned it was the other guy's loss. "But seriously, stop digging around. If Grey has withdrawn the Award for something as little as the wrong paper, can you imagine what he'd do if you guys put in the article something he doesn't want you to?"

"It's not like it's private information. The picture was from a graduation ceremony, years ago. 'Christian Grey and friend' was published in a local newspaper."

Eddy shook his head but anything he might have said was interrupted by the sound of a determined knock on the door. "I'll get it," he said.

Dan, Ana and Emma all at once shouted "Happy Birthday!" as soon as the door opened and then with a "Do you want to see your presents?" from Emma, "Where is Nick?" from Dan and "Let me put these in the fridge" from Ana, the family stepped into the small apartment.

Eddy went with his mother to help her with the groceries while Nick introduced Carol-Ann to his father. When Ana returned from the kitchen, Dan was flipping through the TV channels while Emma was bent down untying her sneakers, so it was only Nick that noticed Carol-Ann's eyes growing wide when his mother entered the living room. It only lasted for a second, and the young woman covered her reaction with a cough and stood up.

"Mom this is Carol-Ann, Eddy's friend." With a small frown he turned to Carol-Ann: "Anabelle Parson, my mother."

A slight blush warming her cheeks Carol-Ann shook Ana's hand: "How do you do, Mrs Parson."

"Oh, no need to be formal! Please call me Belle. It's nice to meet you. Eddy said you might be joining us for lunch?"

"I don't want to impose, really. I just came by to say Happy Birthday. I should probably be going."

"Oh, no you don't" said Eddy as he re-joined the family. "You are not imposing at all. Is she mom? Besides you promised."

The blush on Carol-Ann's cheeks grew darker: "Eddy, really, this is a family thing…"

Eddy started laughing. "Mom won't mind. I told you, I think she would actually welcome a bit of competition."

"Competition?" Ana asked, taking in the blushing young woman, a tense looking Nick and the wide grin on Eddy's face.

"Well, if we are going to play scrabble tonight, you should be warned that Carol-Ann has won a couple of tournaments."

"I see," Ana said laughing, "then by all means, please join us. Eddy is right, it gets a little lonely winning every single game" she finished with a wink.

"Yes, please stay," Emma piped, "especially if you can tango."

A groan from the three males only increased Carol-Ann's confusion.

"Emma is a very keen dancer and every year gets us to learn a new dance. This year its tango, but we have had several months to prepare." Ana explained

"Oh, yes, she can tango" Eddy interfered with a smug look on his face.

"Is that why you put me through that?" Carol-Ann asked.

"You don't know Emma. She won't get off our backs until we get the dance just right," Eddy countered, the pained expression on his face bellied by the twinkle in his eyes.

"Okay, okay" Carol-Ann gave in. "But I really need to go home first. I won't be long; I just need to email some research material to my colleagues."

The family tradition was to open the presents before lunch and then the whole family would enjoy a meal cooked by Ana. After cake and blowing candles they usually spent the evening playing games.

Every year Ana beat everybody hands down at Scrabble.

Once she had recovered from the car accident when she was eleven, Emma had started dancing to help with the strength in her leg and since then she insisted everybody should learn a new dance for her birthday. So far they had gone through waltz, salsa, meringue, and twist, and the dancing sessions had become as much a part of their birthday celebrations as was the scrabble.

The men got to choose activities as well, and over the years they had played twister ('Not fair on short people', Ana and Emma usually protested. 'Oh yeah, because playing Scrabble with a librarian is', countered the boys), various quizz games, monopoly, table hockey, balloon basketball…

In Carol-Ann's absence Eddy had tried his new suit and shoes on, and to Ana's relief they were a perfect fit. It was quickly agreed that he would wear the charcoal grey suit to his graduation.

"With a light blue shirt and a burgundy tie, maybe with a dark grey pattern… it would look elegant without being too boring," Ana commented, her mumbled words and random patting and tugging of the fabric a poor disguise for her emotion.

Emma had put together an album of pictures: 'A lawyer in the making - and the important people in his life'. For each year in Eddy's life since he had started school she had chosen one picture of him, but then she had added herself in one way or another to each one. On a few of them it was just her head poking in a corner, in other pictures she had covered somebody else's face with her own, on a couple of occasions she had inserted a full picture of herself into the original. The result was playful and sometimes hilarious and Eddy rewarded her with a kiss on top of her head and a 'good one squirt' delivered with a tender look in his eyes, a smile on his lips and a brotherly embrace.

Then three pairs of eyes turned to Nick.

"What?" Nick said, feigning innocence.

"Your present," Emma nudged him

"Oh, that. I…err, gave him my present last night, didn't I bro?"

"Really?" she said, "What did he get you?"

They all look expectantly at Eddy: "Uh, yeah, he did. Erm, it was more of a…brotherly advice, really."

Catching on, Dan smirked but Ana was still in the dark: "Advice?" she squinted looking at each of their guilty faces in turn. "What advice?"

Now laughing Dan put a hand on her arm: "I think you'd better leave that one alone sweetheart."

"What? Why?" He got the squinting stare as well. "Do you know what they are talking about?"

"I think I do," Dan bobbed his head up and down.

"Mom, I think dad's right, perhaps this should stay between me and Nick."

"Oh really?! Nick what did you do?"

"Nothing mom!"

Emma and Eddy both started laughing at Nick's automatic reply. With a 'later for you' stare at them both he said: "Nothing bad, well not too bad, just, you know, guy stuff." He squirmed under his mother stare.

"Nicholas Parson what did you do?"

"Sweetheart…"Dan started but withered under his wife's stare.

"He took me to a bar. We had a few drinks after midnight, that's all," Eddy finally took pity on his brother.

"Oh God! Nick, did you get your brother drunk?"

The return of his nickname signalling that the worst of the danger was past, Nick dared a sheepish look towards his mother.

"I thought that as an older brother it was my duty to, err be there for him, you know, for his first time."

At the look of horror on Ana's face he quickly amended: "Drinking. His first time drinking."

"C'mon, Belle, let's get some of the food out. Something greasy, right Eddy?" he said with a wink to his youngest son.

Ana knew when she was defeated. She shook her head and looked at Eddy. "Are you alright, do you feel alright? Do you need anything?"

"No, mom, I'm fine, really. But I am kind of hungry" he added, picking on the cue from his dad.

Huffing Ana stood. "Ok, but you all get to help. It's the five of us and Carol-Ann then?"

Eddy nodded.

"Well, it's your apartment so see if you can set a table for six somehow. Nick, can help you. Emma can you lend me a hand?"

She had prepared most of the food before leaving Rock Hill so the warm pâtés only needed to be placed in the oven and then the lasagne could heat up while they were eating the entrées.

Enticing food smells had started to fill the apartment by the time Carol-Ann returned. She had changed in a more form fitting dress and was now wearing heels and a little make-up, Ana noticed. Eddy and Nick had set the table Japanese style using the low table in the living room, now surrounded by cushions on the floor. Dan and the boys were already seated, Dan and Nick with beers and Eddy with a glass of Gatorade.

"Nick, scoot," said Emma wedging herself between her brothers. That was her customary seat, with their parents sitting across from them. This time she seemed to have other plans as she then took a step back and directed Carol-Ann to the recently emptied cushion, with a smirk on her face.

Looking a little distracted, Carol-Ann sat down with a tiny smile and immediately started fiddling with the empty glass in front of her.

"Emma, as you are still standing, would you help me bring the food, please?" said Ana.

They returned each carrying a plate of steaming entrees to find Nick with a frown on his face discussing sports with his father, while Carol-Ann and Eddy were engrossed in a whispered conversation, both looking serious.

The food on the table got everybody's attention and soon enough the conversation flowed, jumping from Ana's secret ingredient in the lasagne, to the recent defeat suffered by the university football team, the pressure of the upcoming finals and the antics of some of Eddy's and Carol-Ann's classmates. Nick and Eddy engaged in their usual banter of jujitsu versus taekwondo, their respective chosen martial arts. While Ana and Dan congratulated Eddy on his third dan, Nick chimed: "Too bad for all that effort bro, all I need to do is sit on you and you're done."

"If you can catch me, that is. There's always going to be a guy that's bigger than you, Nick."

"Oh, and there's no chance of one being faster than you I suppose?"

"Well, yeah, maybe, but at least it won't be you," Eddy smirked

"Seriously bro, you should look into some self-defence next year. All that aerial ballet won't do you much good in a proper fight."

Uncomfortable with the idea of any of her sons in a brawl, Ana interfered: "I hope none of you will get into any fights."

The three men mhmmed and shared a look between them.

"Really, I mean that. There are better ways to solve a problem."

"Yes, mom," both boys answered keeping as straight a face as they could.

Ana shook her head and narrowed her eyes at them. Drinking, fighting…she was going to have to have a word with her sons.

They had almost finished the main course when the subject of funding for college and post graduate studies came up, and what a jungle it was to navigate. When they moved onto academic awards, Carol-Ann's face visibly fell.

"C'mon Carol-Ann, you don't know that you haven't got it, "Eddy said. "You wrote a really good piece; I'm not just saying it."

"Eddy, I badgered the man for the whole school year. He pulled the funding from a whole university just for a silly printing change; do you really think he'll overlook me criticising the whole concept?"

"If I remember correctly he doesn't judge the entries himself, does he?"

"No, it's the editors of the publishing house that do that, but he pays for the whole thing so that probably gives him some kind of veto right."

"What are the two of you talking about?" asked Ana

Eddy sighed and explained: "Christian Grey, our commencement speaker, funds an award for creative writing for students of selected universities. The winner of the Rose award for each university is announced on the 9th of May and the prize is $10,000 dollars. Carol-Ann has submitted an entry and her paper is very good, but she has spent the last few months sending letter after letter arguing that it wasn't fair that other students should be competing against literature students. Then yesterday she found out that two years ago Grey declined to award any prize to students of his home town university because the logo on the award paper was printed instead of embossed. So now she is worried that she won't get the award because of her letters."

Oblivious to the effect Eddy's words had had on his mother, Carol-Ann produced a tablet out of her handbag. "Here, I can show you," she said.

"The logo for the Rose Award is very clever: a gray tie and a red rose to symbolise both male and female participants. The loop of the tie forms a heart shape for the love of literature and the motto, 'In Aeternum Magis' , suggests there is always more to read or to learn," she explained while fiddling with the device.

"This is what WSU printed," Carol-Ann said setting the tablet on the tablet with a picture maximized on the screen.

All eyes were on the tablet while she swiped to the next picture.

"And this is what it's supposed to look like," she finished.

"I can't see any difference," Nick complained.

Ana however knew exactly what was missing. Carol-Ann's explanation only reached her as from a great distance, muffled by the sound of the blood rushing from her head.

"Exactly" Carol-Ann was saying. "There is some model on the tie that only shows when the logo is embossed."

"What do the words mean?" Asked Emma

It was more than Ana could bear.

"Excuse me" she said and left the table while a surprised Carol-Ann translated "Ever more, it's Latin."

Dan stood and followed his wife leaving the youngsters in an uncomfortable silence. He found her by the sounds of her sobs in the bathroom.

"Belle, can I come in?"

After a few second he heard the click of the lock and the door opened to a dishevelled Ana, her red rimmed eyes wide and wild with an intense stare he couldn't quite place. She stepped aside to let him in and then closed the door and leaned her back against it.

"What happened?" he asked.

She closed her eyes briefly and when she opened them tears were running down her face. She didn't bother to wipe them.

"The award. It's for me. About me, about us. My middle name is Rose. 9th of May is the day we met. The tie is not just a tie, it's a specific tie, his."

She stopped short of telling him how Christian used to bind her hands with that tie, but went on with the rest of the explanation. "The motto: forever more. He…we wanted different things, when we met. I wanted more than he was willing to give and left him. He promised me more to get me back. That's what the shape of the tie and the rose stand for: hearts and flowers"

She closed her eyes again and a shudder went through her body, shaking her from head to toe.

Dan stood silent, unsure of what to do with all of that. He was a barely middleclass, small town and small business employee. He had demons of his own. He looked at his wife. He wasn't a fool; women liked the attention, the grand gestures. He had bought her flowers and chocolates and the occasional pair of shoes, a necklace for their ten year anniversary, a pair of ear rings for her fortieth birthday, but an award? There was no way he could compete with that.

"Are you going to forgive him?"

The question snapped Ana from wherever her mind had been. Her eyes still wild slowly lost their intensity until for a moment she looked lost and uncertain. As if waking up from a long sleep her senses once again started reporting on her immediate surroundings: the bathroom door behind her back, Dan stood in front of her, their children's voices in the next room. Letters or not, Christian had left her and Teddy alone and unprotected in Montesano. In less than six months he had moved on and was married again with a child on its way.

"No," she said, and pushed herself away from the door and towards the sink to wash her face and repair her appearance. A few minutes later, when she emerged from the bathroom she went straight to the kitchen to get her son's birthday cake, brushing the concerned questions away with 'I just have a headache, it will go away'.

After chocolate cake and champagne, they set up the scrabble board. Emma usually played with Ana, but this time Dan and Nick begged to be left out to watch the NFL drafts, leaving Eddy to battle it with the three ladies. Eddy played with the dedication he brought to everything he did, but blatantly allowed his sister a few opportunities. Carol-Ann not only ultimately won the game by two points, but she had proven to be smart, witty and funny. Ana had also learned that the young woman had secured an internship in Human Relations in Greensboro and was going to study for a Masters in Public Administration at SPIA in Raleigh.

While they were moving furniture around to make enough space for the tango demonstrations, Carol-Ann and Nick slipped away for a few moments and by the time they returned Nick's brooding mood seemed to have lifted, while the young woman had a small smile on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes that had not been there before.

Partnering for the dance proved easy: Dan asked for Emma as his partner as he 'needed all the help he could get' and Ana took the chance to claim a dance with the birthday boy. This of course left Nick and Carol-Ann to dance together.

Dan did his best, but the few steps Ana had showed him were clearly not enough to satisfy his daughter and their dance was more a lesson than a polished routine. Emma did however acknowledge his effort with a kiss on his cheek and a 'Thank you dad'.

Ana and Eddy were next and their twists and twirls were met with a little more praise but they were still put on notice that they needed more practice before Emma's birthday the following month.

Finally Nick and Carol-Ann stood and took their place in the middle of the small living room. Their first steps were hesitant, the young woman suddenly shy and Nick, a little unsure, whispering to her his intended next step. But by the end of the four minute song their little demonstration had turned into a hot, passionate number and Emma had to pronounce her judgment with her cheeks slightly flushed: "Yeah, I don't think you two need more practice."

Ana was beaming and Dan was smirking when Nick placed a small kiss on Carol-Ann's cheek then grasped her hand and sat her next to him on the couch.

They were still holding hands two hours later when, regretfully, Ana, Dan and Emma had to leave for Rock Hill. There was little conversation between the three of them during the drive home. Ana was mostly hoping for a quiet week to allow her to get back to her routine, to slip back into the life of Annabelle Parson. Too many memories and too many emotions had been stirred in the past few days. Whenever the thought of Eddy's graduation crossed her mind she was torn between anger, regret and some other unnamed emotion she steadfastly refused to name. If only she could get past graduation day and the talk with Eddy, she could once again distance herself from her past. Unless Eddy decided he wanted to know more about** his** past…

** AN: next chapter Ana and Dan start dealing with CG's letter.**


	10. Summer Storm Ch10 A quiet evening

**AN: I love your imagination and how involved some of you are in the story! So following popular demand, a few "threats" and a couple of great suggestions I am currently working on one more CG POV chapter before graduation. For now I hope you'll enjoy this one.**

Ch 10 A quiet evening at home

Monday was made of routine tasks at work and a quiet evening at home, curled up in her well-worn armchair in the corner of the living room reading a book, while Dan watched sports on TV and Emma was busy in her room.

Tuesday however, Dan had been unusually quiet during dinner and then disappeared in the garage. After about an hour, done with her chores, Ana grabbed a beer for him and a cup of tea for her and went to see what was on her husband's mind.

"Dan? I thought you might be getting thirsty," she said handing him the cold beer, her eyes taking in the pile of presumably car parts and a container with some strong smelling chemical laid on the workbench.

"Good thinking, thanks," he smiled as he started carefully placing the darkened metal pieces into the liquid.

"Something on your mind?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Let's go sit in the back yard for a moment. These need some time to loosen up anyway."

Once they were seated on the bench behind the house, Dan just let out what had been on his mind for about a few days. "Belle, I don't want to sound like a greedy insensitive bastard, but all that money your ex has sent then what you said to Luke Sawyer, that we have not decided,… that's a lot of money to walk away from." As Ana kept staring into her cup of tea, he continued, "It's not just you and me. For our children that money would make a hell of a difference. Emma's doctor appointment is in a few days. We got lucky that time with Dr Shepard and his research. Two years before that had it not been for that charity to help with the repair costs we might have lost the house. Even the hospital bills from when you gave birth to Emma were partly covered by a charity fund. I…"

Surprised, Ana looked up. "What hospital bills? I mean, I know we had bills but not that we couldn't afford them."

"We never told you, we didn't want you to worry, but the insurance only covered some of it. The extra appointments and the surgery…Ray had some money left from his house and I was looking into getting more money on the mortgage. But it all worked out: the hospital said there was a fund for complicated pregnancies like yours and helped me apply. They covered half the cost."

"'_We_' as in you and dad?" Ana asked wondering what else she had missed about her own life.

"Don't hold it against us, Belle. You had enough on your mind. I would have gotten the money somehow. But if my children, our children, have a chance at a better life, one where they won't need to fear for their health or their home…Nick was talking about wanting to do a master's degree, but he is not as good as Eddy and this Carol-Ann girl. He doesn't think he'll get enough financial support to not drown in debt for years. And Emma: those schools she is looking into in New York, those are all private and very expensive."

Ana was silent, collecting her thoughts, getting her emotions under control so her voice wouldn't tremble when she spoke. "I know, Dan. But where the money is coming from…I'm not sure I can deal with that."

For a fleeting moment she had a lost look in her eyes, making Dan feel like a voyeur spying on her very soul. The woman sat beside him was torn, tortured, and he was clawing at her wounds.

"Perhaps there is a way to not use it for us two, just for the children. Like a trust fund."

The next day Ana contacted the lawyer in Charlotte, the one with the clear background check, and set up a meeting for Thursday afternoon. In the evening, while Emma was still at her dance class, she picked up her book and Dan turned on the TV in time for the evening news. They were going to have a nice, quiet, boring evening.

"Belle, I just realized: do you have any way to prove who you were, before?"

"I don't think so, dad took care of all that."

Annoyed, she put her book down. This was not her. Usually she was the one everybody else counted on. Dan was supportive, but generally content to follow where she was taking them. For a split second a deep longing filled her, the meaning of it so scary it galvanized her into action. "The box! Dad had a box with my name on it."

"It's on the top shelf in the wardrobe, I'll get it," Dan nodded.

"No" Ana immediately countered, unsettled and afraid, choosing fight instead of flight. "I'll get it." Dan's puzzled look made her realize she had been more forceful than she had intended, so she added: "The news are on, I'll bring it here."

As Dan turned back towards the TV he was soon lost in reports about a murder case in Charleston, regional news, the weather… Sports was next and he hated being interrupted during that part, and so he put the TV on pause and went to see what was taking Belle so long.

In the bedroom, Ana was sitting on the bed leafing through a binder, an open cardboard box besides her.

"I did this," she said distracting him from the sight of a book and what looked like an old style computer drive at the bottom of the box.

"Did what?"

"Kate asked me why I didn't go back to Seattle, why I didn't confront him."

"Sweetheart", Dan said, sitting next to her, "don't do this to yourself."

"No, Dan. She was right. At first I was confused, then angry, then hurt, but then I gave up. I let Ray take over."

"He was your dad. He did some crazy things but Ray loved you, Belle."

"I know he did. But Ray fought to protect me. I should have fought for Eddy, fought to keep his father in his life, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles. You were right, I never thought about this."

"You thought they had abandoned you, remember? You didn't know he wrote to you, you still don't know what was in those letters."

"At least he tried to contact me. After the first week or so, the only time I wrote to him was to tell him I planned on leaving town."

There was nothing he could reply to that and so Dan changed the subject: "Did you find anything useful in there? "he said with a look towards the binder.

"I don't know," she sighed and handed him the folder.

The first page was a birth certificate: Anastasia Rose Steele, father Raymond Steele, mother Carla Steele. The next paper was… an adoption decree.

"You are adopted?!" Dan said staring at the paper.

"Mom was married before she met Ray. My biological father died the day after I was born. Training accident, he was in the military."

"If anything I would have thought Carla was the adoptive parent. Ray was so protective of you!" He raised his head to look at her: "You know I feel the same about Eddy, don't you?"

"Yes, Dan. And Nick is my son just as Eddy and Emma are my children."

As it had happened several times in the last few days, a new insight into the mess they were in stole her breath away.

"He knows. Since he is also adopted, Christian knows."

"He's adopted?"

"Yes. You said there was a biography, was this not in it?"

"I don't know, I was mostly looking for information about you and Eddy," Dan confessed.

She hesitated, debating how much she could reveal. "He worships his mother and loves his brother and sister dearly."

"And his father?" Dan asked.

"Their relationship was a little more strained. But I think he loves him too and not just out of gratefulness for providing him with a home."

Storing this new piece of information with the rest, Dan returned his attention to the folder in his lap. Belle's high school diploma was next.

"You said you interviewed him for the student newspaper. So you were eighteen when you met?"

"Twenty-one. I… studied Literature at WSU," Ana admitted, the hint of a blush colouring her cheeks.

"You have a degree?!"

"Mhmm."

"But… you have worked as an assistant! It has taken you years to get to where you are now!"

"Different name," Ana shrugged.

With a painful twist of his heart Dan realized just how much she had left behind in her flight from her first marriage. The image of a young college graduate turned billionaire wife, owning a publishing house, surrounded by family and friends was light years from the Belle he knew, the single mother struggling along as a library assistant with her father as her only companion and support.

"It's alright Dan," Ana covered his hand with hers, responding to the sadness in his face. "I have used the knowledge and I still get to work with books. I can help others discover them, perhaps even love them like I do. I really don't mind that nobody knows I have a degree."

Dan turned to the next page thinking he would find her college diploma, but was instead confronted by her old driving license. He stared for a moment at the name: 'Anastasia Grey'.

"You look nice with long hair. But I don't think we can use this, it's too old," he shied away from the evidence of her previous life.

The last sleeve contained several papers, the topmost reading 'Final decree of divorce' in bold, capitalized and underlined letters. With a slight nod she confirmed she was still okay with him reading through this so he extracted the heap of papers and scanned over the text of the first two pages then stiffened when he reached the third.

"Belle, is this your signature?" he asked and showed her the bottom of the page with both hers and Christian's signatures.

"Yes," she said.

"You said you never discussed custody."

"We haven't. We - Ray, me and the lawyer - only drew up a temporary plan. They told me it had to be filled with the petition. I asked for Eddy to stay with me but I didn't ask for legal custody or anything like that."

"This parenting plan?" Dan insisted.

"I didn't know he signed these," Ana frowned. "I thought he only signed the petition. Dad said he never asked about Eddy."

His shoulders slumping Dan explained: "He never asked, because he agreed with your offer: shared custody, Eddy living with you and for him to have unrestricted visitation rights."

"He agreed? But…" She took the papers from him and looked over the page, looked at the familiar signature at the bottom. "Christian thought this was part of the divorce agreement?"

The significance of this piece of paper dawning on her, she stared at the flowing letters of Christian's signature at the bottom.

"Perhaps we could take this with us tomorrow and ask the lawyer, but I am pretty sure that this _is_ part of the divorce agreement," Dan confirmed her suspicion.

In a futile attempt to keep her involvement with it away from her, Ana dropped the paper as if it burned. This was such an enormous betrayal, a bold faced lie. She needed to be sure. By the time she snapped out of her thoughts, Dan had picked the document up and placed it back in the binder.

"Don't put it back. You are right; we'll take it with us tomorrow."

The sound of car doors closing, quickly followed by the thud of the front door signalled an end to their privacy.

"Anybody home?" Emma's voice echoed through the house.

As Dan closed the box and placed it back in the wardrobe, Ana placed the plastic sleeve in her handbag and then they left the bedroom only to narrowly avoid colliding with Emma in the small corridor.

"Hi, sweetie, how was dance class?"

"Oh great, we changed a whole minute of the routine but I think it's better this way. Mandy is going to be so sorry she missed it. God I'm starving! Is there any food left?"

Smiling at the tirade, Ana rolled her eyes: "Of course there's food left. There's a plate out for you. I'll keep you company."

The two went to the kitchen while Dan returned to the living room, although the sports news weren't at the forefront of his mind anymore.

I the kitchen Emma's phone chimed and she immediately started texting furiously so Ana put her plate in the oven and set the timer. "So how come Mandy missed the practice?" she asked.

"She was out with Jake. Apparently her mom is now ok with it. I can't believe she let us down for a date! I was actually worried about her. Oh and Linda asks if you want to meet up this weekend. But you said I'll get to drive and I didn't yet, so can we do that?"

With a pang of guilt Ana took the plate out of the microwave: "Sorry, Emma, I forgot. Do you have plans for this weekend?"

"Well, I was going to go to town with Mandy but that might not happen now. I'll see if Jenny wants to do something. By the way can I have some money for Friday? There's this shirt I saw last week, it's really nice, I thought I'd get it after guitar."

"And how much would that nice shirt be?"

"tmdfllrs"

"I didn't get that."

"Twenty-five dollars," Emma said with a sigh.

They were not poor or needy, but they did need to mind their budget, prioritize expenses. About to comment that it was a bit too much for an everyday shirt, Ana was stopped as the image of the cheque in the manila folder floated into her mind. The feel of silk on her skin and of leather around her feet also made an unbidden appearance. She didn't need those, but was it fair to keep them from her daughter, if they could afford it?

"I could wear it at Eddy's graduation," Emma pleaded.

"Why don't you come and pick me up after your lesson? We could go together to see about this shirt," Ana sort of gave in.

Mrs Dawson's small music school, across the street from the library, crossed her mind. That's where Eddy had learned to play the piano and Emma and Nick the guitar. All three had eventually outgrown the abilities of their first tutors, but it was largely due to the Dawsons' kindness and patience, not to mention low fees, that any of them had learned to play an instrument and learned to love music, an area in which both Ana and Dan were severely lacking.

She made a mental note to stop by and say hello.

Xxx

The office of Adam Barns, Esq, was located, on the third floor of the building housing his law firm. A tall, blond man in his forties, he greeted them with a friendly smile as they entered his office, but as soon as they were all seated he went straight to business with an open ended 'What can I do for you?'

"To begin with we would like to look into some options for setting up a trust fund for our children," Dan answered.

"There are a lot of options in that area," Adam Barns nodded. "May I ask what range of investment you have in mind?"

Ana's vague 'a few million', was clearly not what he had expected from this plain looking couple, but in true professional the brief moment of surprise was immediately replaced by one of keen interest and sitting up a little straighter in his chair he proceeded to competently describe several options, then handed them some brochures to take home for further reading.

The next point Ana and Dan had on their agenda was dealing with Ana's the properties. She had meant to keep her former identity out of the discussion and taken the time to make copies of all the documents with the names blanked out, but Adam Barnes, already on the alert that he might have misjudged this couple, became suspicious of her change of identity. Her vague reassurances that she had 'not done anything illegal, well I have, I think, but I don't think it matters' only deepened the crease between his eyes.

"Mr and Mrs Parson, your visit today is of course covered by the attorney-client privilege and therefore confidential, but I don't think I will be able to assist you," he said, rising from his chair.

"No, please, wait," Ana told him, panicked to have blown this meeting, and handed him two sheets of paper.

While Barnes took his time to peruse the documents, she straightened up in her chair and moved forward to the edge on the seat. By the time he had finished reading, her hands, previously folded in her lap, were now lightly placed on the table in front of her. Taking in the change in attitude, Adam Barnes addressed her with one eyebrow raised: "You want me to sign an NDA? As I said, our conversation is covered by the attorney-client privilege. An NDA is not necessary."

"We are not criminals or trying to do anything illegal, but to prove that I will have to involve other people. The NDA is for areas not covered by the privilege, like our names on your client list. And there might be an issue with who your client really is, so this would cover all our interactions, whether for legal advice or not," Ana insisted.

Adam Barnes sat back down, carefully re-reading the paper in his hand. When he raised his eyes, before he could say or ask anything, Ana pushed a little more: "When we booked this meeting we were informed that you charge a percentage on transactions."

"That is correct. I charge a flat fee for the advice and preparatory work and a 1% fee if the transaction is successful."

Her chin pointing towards the NDA now resting on the table between them Ana informed him: "The properties I own should be worth 30-40 million. Those will be in addition to the twenty two million already intended for the trust fund."

She again paused, allowing Barnes time to process the information, and leaving Dan to wonder when exactly had the power, the control of the meeting, shifted from the lawyer to his usually quiet and unassuming wife. Belle was clearly no longer asking for help, she was negotiating, and by the looks of it getting what she wanted: his eyes barely leaving her face to look at what he was doing, the lawyer signed both papers then pushed one copy across the desk for her perusal.

With the signed paper safely tucked in her purse, Ana finally came clean with her story.

"While I was divorcing my first husband, my father used his connections to arrange for me to be entered into the Witness Protection Programme. All we need to know is how I can prove that I am the same person so I can sell the properties and add the money to the trust fund."

Still weary, Barnes enquired of where the properties were located, explaining that the legislation was probably different in different states. As it turned out, he was licensed to practice in the state of Washington, but would have to look into what documents would be required for the proof of identity in such an unusual situation.

Finally, Ana produced the divorce papers, once again with the names blacked out.

"There is one last matter on which we would like to have your opinion", she said. "Could you explain to us the terms of this settlement?"

Adam Barnes only needed a glanced at the topmost paper to recognize the purpose of the document. "These are papers relating to a divorce procedure. My specialty is in property law and assets management. Were these documents not explained to you at the time?" he enquired.

"I know this must sound irresponsible, but it was a very emotional time for me. Could you just go through these papers with us?" Ana insisted.

Mr Burns took several minutes to read through the documents, frowning and occasionally raising an eyebrow. Finally he lifted his eyes from the papers and looked at the couple sat opposite his desk with a serious expression on his face.

"These documents mention a child. If I am to have any involvement at all with any aspect of your affairs I will need to be convinced that you have not in fact removed the child without his father's knowledge or that the removal was sanctioned by a court of law. Before you say anything else you should be aware that despite your client privilege and the NDA, in kidnapping cases courts have compelled attorneys to disclose the whereabouts of their clients."

With that he sat back in his chair and gave both of them a stern look.

It was obvious that the lawyer's words had hit Ana hard. She was pale and as she shrunk back in the chair, one of her hands gripped the armrest while the other was crushing Dan's right hand.

"Belle?" he looked at her, asking permission to speak for the both of them.

She nodded and Dan explained: "Mr Burns, I am afraid that you are correct. My wife has indeed disappeared with the child. The father has been aware of our location for many years and as far as we know he has never reported the child missing. That child is now an adult. Would all this make a difference?"

His speech has been met with more of the same stern look and hard stare, but after a moment Adam Burns leaned his head to one side. "Perhaps. However I have no way to verify all this Mr Parson."

To Dan's surprise Belle let go of his hand and once again produced a set of documents and handed them over to the lawyer.

As soon as he glanced at the topmost document Barnes stiffened, stared wide eyed at the piece of paper. When after several seconds he remembered to blink he turned towards his computer and started furiously typing while his eyes were rapidly taking in whatever appeared on the screen, more typing, a bit more reading and he was finally still. Visibly swallowing a couple of times he then raised one hand to cover his mouth and took a few seconds to consider his next step before turning back towards his clients.

"You understand why I was hoping to keep his name out of this meeting," Ana offered.

Without responding, Adam Burns proceeded to translate the legal jargon into everyday language. To Ana's dismay, Dan's impression had been correct: Christian had signed divorce papers in which she had offered him unlimited access to his son and shared decision making. Subdued, she remained quiet while Dan and the lawyer exchanged details for future contact.

As soon as his customers left his office Adam Barnes opened the carved wood door to the liqueur cabinet and poured himself a measure of whiskey in a heavy crystal glass. Christian Grey's wife and son! He had done the maths while reading the papers: the boy was now twenty one. He had been missing?! He asked his secretary to reschedule his next appointment. He had more important matters to attend to for the next hour or so, like shamelessly internet stalking his newest client and scouring databases of missing children.

On the drive home, Ana remained lost in thought while Dan was trying to sort through the information they had received. It was quite unlikely that Mr Barns being licensed to practice in Washington was a mere coincidence. His appreciation for the kind of effort Grey had put into finding a suitable lawyer for them was however overshadowed by his uncertainty regarding the man's motives. Given the way Belle had left Seattle, Grey didn't need Belle's cooperation or even approval to do pretty much as he wanted. But instead he had written that letter handing at least some of the decision back to her, ensured one of his employees was around to answer questions and was on his way to their side of the country not only to congratulate his son, but to present and award created in her honour…

This brought his mind back to the woman herself and how she handled the meeting: "You were something else in there. Barnes was certainly ready to kick us out before you got him to sit back down," he told her, unwittingly sparking the memory of just how she had acquired that kind of skill.

_She was about to negotiate her first major contract for GP. He was a well-known author and GP needed the contract and he knew it and she was afraid he will walk all over her. Christian had tried to talk her through some tips on how to stay on top of the meeting, but in the end he had videotaped one of his meetings with his heads of department and they had used it as an example: how to sit in the chair, where to keep her hands, how to control her facial expressions, what to do with her eyes. _

_"But what about taking notes, I might not remember all he says."_

_"Get one of the secretaries to sit in the meeting. **You** need to listen, not only to what he says, but how he says it. Watch his body language. Where does he pause? Is he clearing his throat? Shifts in his seat? Wrings his hands?"_

_Attentive to the way the author accelerated his speech, diverted his eyes or shifted in his chair, by the time it was her turn to speak she had an idea of his weaknesses and of what he considered really important and she was ready for him. She had gotten the contract._

_She had watched Christian's video so many times that she could still see his face, hear his calm, competent voice…_

Clenching her fists until her nails dug into her palm, she focused on the pain to distract her from the memory. That part of her life was gone, no longer hers, never to be had again.

As Belle remained silent and obviously lost in her own thoughts, Dan moved a hand away from the steering wheel to blindly reach for hers. "Are you OK?"

Suddenly yanked backed to the reality of her current situation, her voice broke under the weight of her guilt and the shame for her actions. "I have lied to him Dan. I honestly thought the plan was temporary but I did promise he will be able to see his son and then I took Eddy and ran."

"Belle, what you did was wrong, there's no way around that. But it was a long time ago and he did find you and chose to stay away. Even now, he is leaving all the decisions up to you: what to tell Eddy and what to do with the money. I can't say that I understand all of this very well, but it is what it is. Let's see what the lawyer says about your name and what Eddy wants to do and we'll take it from there, OK?" he ended with a quick look towards her.

"It's not only that, Dan," she sighed. "All these years, I thought they had abandoned me, written us off. But that wasn't true. They didn't just contact Luke and the security team. They contacted Kate as well and they tried to come to Montesano. Kate said dad had trouble keeping them away."

Dan couldn't help scoffing at that: "And how would you know she is telling the truth this time?"

Her eyes gliding over the scenery passing them by, Ana refused to shed any tears, but couldn't prevent her voice from trembling: "Because this makes much more sense than the silence. They were, _are_, good people. It turns out I am the one who shut everybody out."

Unable to come up with anything he had not already said, Dan concentrated on driving hoping she will be able to reason this out for herself. They were almost home when he remembered: "Eddy called. How many tickets do we want for graduation?"

"Tickets? Why do we need tickets, it's a free entrance."

"Apparently students have been asked to provide the names of the people they are inviting."

"Well, I expect Nick and Emma will be there, so four."

Dan was about to add something but she continued before he got a chance: "I'll have to contact them, apologize to them somehow."

That Eddy's biological father would be present at graduation was one thing and there was a possibility that Eddy might want to find out more, and knew he would have to accept that. But the idea of Belle making contact with the people in her previous life…Uncertain why that would feel threatening but trusting his instincts Dan turned to look at her as he repeated: "It wasn't your fault, Belle."

"Maybe not entirely, but still," she insisted, and then took his hand in hers, the physical contact anchoring her, giving her the strength to say the words. "The hurt I felt at being abandoned by everybody…Even knowing they have not actually done that, I still can't shake the feeling. They must feel the same way towards me: that I abandoned them, that I deceived them, that they were not important enough for me. I hate that dad and Kate have put us all through this! It's a terrible feeling, Dan. I have to put it right somehow."

Her eyes were blazing by the end of the tirade. Even her cheeks had regained some colour and now had a slight flush to them. "This is important to you," he said. As her only answer was a slow nod, he sighed: "Do you know what you are going to say?"

The fire in her eyes dulled a little as she considered. Who to contact? Grace? Elliot? Carrick? Probably all of them. How? A letter, maybe. And then Dan's question: how could she explain her lack of faith, of trust in their relationship? She was going to have to tell them about her father and the thought that they would think badly of him was upsetting in spite of everything he had done. Could she do this without implicating Kate? Did she want to implicate her? She let go of Dan's hand, uncertainty creeping in her voice: "I'll have to think about it."

**AN: Next chapter "A day at the office" will contain a few minor and one major clue for future chapters.**


	11. Summer Storm Ch11 A day at the office

Ch 11 A day at the office

Over the next three days Ana alternated between quiet periods of melancholy and launching herself with abandon in chores around the house. Knowing that she had caused others the kind of pain she had lived with was unbearable and Dan's feeble attempts to get her to slow down only resulted in more plans for other activities. One of these was a trip to a park all the way to Charlotte, so Emma would have an occasion to prove her driving skills.

By Sunday evening she had still not decided on how to approach the Greys and Dan found her sitting at the kitchen table, a list of options in front of her:

_Grace – is old and is probably angry with me. Can I just barge into her life like this?_

_Elliot – married to Kate; is he angry with me? He'll probably remember Kate was in contact with me then. Will this cause a problem in their marriage?_

_Will they tell Christian I wrote to them?_

"Those are good questions," Dan commented.

Looking at him with lifeless eyes and a blank expression on her face, her voice was croaky as she said: "I'll have to write to him. I took his son away from him. Now that I know he cared, I have to apologize somehow."

Dan knew it was the reasonable, decent thing to do, and yet he could not meet her eyes. For the second time in a couple of days his instincts warned him off this path. Before he could talk himself out of it, he stood and walked out of the kitchen then out the front door and found himself in front of the house. Without any particular destination in mind he started walking into the dark.

The sweaty palms, the racing heart and the tense muscles that came with the rush of adrenaline was something he had left behind when he quit the police force. Experiencing a fight or flight reaction to something happening in his own kitchen was far worse than experiencing one in the field. With no obvious enemy to fight, his only choice had been the flight.

His mind empty but his body craving the physical exertion, he covered the distance on the empty streets in long, determined strides. As the hormones slowly webbed away and his pace slowed down, he tried to figure out what had caused that unsettling feeling. His instincts told him that Christian Grey was not a threat in himself. While looking for information on his wife's ex he had noticed GEH did not have any business in the south-east. In fact they didn't have any business anywhere east of Arkansas or south of Virginia. There had to be another explanation than the lack of business opportunities and he figured Grey had created a 10-state-wide no man's land around his ex-wife.

As he had after the meeting with the lawyer, he wondered if the reason was to protect Belle's peace of mind or to protect himself from her and their child reappearing into his life. And yet in the letter he had left the decision up to Belle.

Belle. Her name reignited that unsettling feeling inside of him, making him stop dead in his tracks, in the middle of an unfamiliar street. Taking his bearings, he turned around and started walking back, much slower this time. Given her reaction to the letter and to the award, he didn't need her words to know that she was not done with Christian Grey. She was hurt and felt betrayed and she had said that she would not forgive, but she hadn't met him and hadn't talked to him since his affair. If this were him and Jane…

The fleeting sensation of a warm feeling inside, his heart beat stronger, the smells and sounds around him more immediate, all of those were just for her, the wife he had lost such a long time ago. Yet Jane was gone and Belle was who he was coming home to in the evening. She had made a home for them and their children.

He knew Belle was the driving force in their marriage, especially where the children were concerned. He would have settled for whatever the local schools had to offer but she pushed them to study languages and music. She sat with them to do their homework. Belle, who didn't speak any foreign language herself, trying to help Eddy with his French and Nick with his Spanish at the same time was still one of the funniest evenings he could remember. That is until she got him to work with Eddy while she stayed with Nick. That's one of the things she did: involved him, made him feel useful and needed. Tonight he had left her sitting there at the kitchen table.

He was almost home, one more turn and then he'd be on their street. Walking towards the lit porch of their home, he reached a decision: she would have to write to Grey, but she could do it just once, when they knew what Eddy wanted to do.

Stepping through the front door he switched off the porch light, then walked through the darkened family room and the corridor to their bedroom. Belle was already in bed so he undressed and showered then slipped under the covers. He reached over to place a kiss on her cheek. First lightly then more firmly he let his hand trail over her arm and the length of her body until she turned in his arms and opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry I walked out on you. We'll figure this out."

She reached up to his face to caress his cheek: "Yes, we will."

His hand now rested on her lower back and he pressed a little harder to bring her body closer, leaning his face into her palm. Then he moved his hand further down the curve of her body and his touch changed from tender and caring to something more demanding. He needed his wife.

Noticing the change, Ana relaxed in her husband's embrace. The past two weeks had brought back so much of the hurt and the angst she had felt after her divorce that she too needed this: she needed to feel wanted, desired, protected. She needed some relief from the guilt that was clawing at her and perhaps a form of justification, proof that all the suffering had not been for nothing. She had Dan, they had a family.

xXx

The library Ana was now managing was the small public library. With a staff of seven and a budget which left less than $50,000 for investments, repairs and any initiatives they wanted to run, they had been relying heavily on donations and volunteers for anything else besides lending books. Then four years ago Ana got involved in the project which ultimately landed her with her current position as director of the library.

After her accident Emma had been in hospital for over two months. She had needed help with distance learning and then extra tutoring over the summer, but the help the school offered was very limited. Emma had eventually managed to save her school year and Ana had used this experience to put together a plan involving the library in helping other pupils who might be struggling. Despite a positive response from the local PTAs and the boards of the local schools, the funding for the project was no more than a trickle. In a last attempt to obtain more substantial support, and despite Michelle Jones's - her predecessor- pessimistic warnings, she had presented her idea at a town council meeting. Once again the response had been positive but no promise of additional funds was made.

Two weeks after the presentation Michelle had returned from a meeting with the library board, crossed the library floor to where Ana stood and embraced her into a bear hug: 'You've done it! I don't know who you have impressed but you have the funding and then some,' she had said, then explained that the town council had received an anonymous donation of $100,000, ear marked for the library, with a promise that the donation would be renewed yearly for at least five years. In the past few years that donation had helped fund several projects, including hers.

This Monday morning however said donation caused a deep furrow between Ana's eyebrows. In two days she was due to meet with representatives of the local schools and PTAs to discuss present and future projects. Her task this morning was to decide how much money she could commit to new ideas and her plan had been simple: check the balance on the account, subtract the amounts already promised elsewhere and make a note of how much would be left for new initiatives. It should have been that simple.

The bank statement however indicated that $150,000 had been deposited in the account as of the previous Thursday. After an hour spent checking past transactions and meeting minutes, she was left with no other solution than to email the treasurer with a copy of the current bank statement and a polite request for an explanation.

A cup of tea, a quick meeting with Jenna (the head of the children's section) and twenty minutes spent with Rachel (their newest volunteer) and she was back at her desk, this time to start reading through proposals for new activities for the library. A few of those where well written and detailed, but most where little more than an idea jotted down on a piece of paper, leaving her to figure out what resources would be needed and at what cost. By lunchtime the treasurer had still not replied to her email and she needed a bit of fresh air.

Her regular lunch spot was a small 'mom and pop' place just around the corner from the library building. The bell above the door jingled when she entered and the smell of soup and freshly baked bread greeted her even before Sally, the owner, appeared from the kitchen.

"Belle, how nice to see you!"

"Thanks, Sally, you too. Looks busy today."

"It's the she crab soup. Sure way to fill up the place," Sally replied with a hearty laugh.

"Sounds great. I could do with some comfort food."

"They are not working you too hard, are they?"

"Oh, no. But it has been busy."

"Well, why don't you sit down and I'll have Mary bring you a bowl of soup and some bread. Would you like something to drink?"

"Just some water, please, Sally."

The soup was delicious and the freshly baked bread was crusty on the outside and still warm on the inside. Ana's eyes roamed over the full dinner and she nodded at a few familiar faces, other regulars of the small establishment. As she was savouring her meal the room slowly emptied, the lunch service coming to an end. She was enjoying just a few more minutes of relaxation when the doorbell jingled and an elderly lady entered the now mostly empty restaurant.

Mrs Dawson looked older than Ana remembered her and with a pang of guilt she realized it must have been about five years since she had seen the wonderful person who had taught Eddy to play the piano and whose husband had taught Emma and Nick to play guitar.

During the first few months after Emma was born, before she could return to work full time, she and Eddy would eat lunch in the small dinner and then spend a couple of hours in the library where she was volunteering for the pre-school story time. She had heard the piano playing from across the street on one of those days and noticed the window advert for piano lessons. Mr and Mrs Dawson, she had learned, had moved from Charlotte to Rock Hill as Mr Dawson's ill health no longer permitted him to work and the costs and distances were more manageable in the smaller town. Mrs Dawson had been tutoring children for several years to supplement their income and was now trying to find some students in Rock Hill. Eddy had shown an immediate fascination with the piano and for the first six months he had had twice-weekly lessons for free as long as Ana promised to spread the word about the piano teacher among the parents at the library. Even later, the fees Mrs Dawson charged her had always been so small Ana suspected she had some kind of 'friend discount'.

She had just stood up intending to greet the elderly lady when Sally emerged from the kitchen.

"Rowena, here you are. Everything all right with Robert?" she said embracing the late customer.

"Hello, Sally. Yes, he's fine. His carer was a little late coming in, some car trouble I believe, but he is there now," Mrs Dawson replied returning the embrace.

Ana had stopped a short distance away to give the two women some privacy but when they stepped out of their embrace she approached with a smile and an outstretched hand.

"Mrs Dawson, it's so nice to see you! I am Belle Parson, Eddy and Nick and Emma's mother."

"Oh dear, of course I know who you are! And how are your children? Has Eddy heard from Harvard yet?" said Rowena Dawson shaking Ana's hand.

"Yes, he has. He is going to start there in the fall. Pardon my curiosity but how do you know about that?"

"He told me when he came to see us at Christmas. Please tell him I am so happy for him, I know how anxious he was. Did he find his song yet?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know. Which song?"

"That sonata he keeps trying to find. Well, at least we think it's a sonata."

Shaking her head Ana told her: "I'm afraid I still don't know very much about music. I'll ask him. And how is Mr Dawson?"

"Not very well, I'm afraid. His Parkinson's is getting worse and the medication doesn't really help anymore. I can't leave him alone for more than a few minutes. I honestly don't know what I would have done without the carers coming in every day."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs Dawson. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know."

"Thank you, that is very kind of you, but we have all the help we need. I didn't realize all those years ago when we moved here how useful it would be to have this kind of help. I didn't even know health insurance would cover all of that."

"Well, just in case, I am still working at the library so please don't hesitate to ask if there's anything. And I'm glad at least Eddy has had the good manners to visit you. Really, I am embarrassed that I have not said hello in such a long time."

"Oh, please don't be embarrassed. Life moves on, I know how busy it can get. Eddy is a really good boy. Well, man, now. You didn't know he comes to see us?"

Her cheeks pink with embarrassment at her own neglect but also with pride for her son, Ana said: "No, I didn't."

"Every Christmas, without fail, and sometimes in the summer, he comes by and spends a couple of hours with us. He plays really well, you know."

"Thank you. If he does, he owes it to you, to your kindness and patience with him."

"Nonsense," Rowena waved the compliment away, "he was such a gifted student it was a joy to teach him."

"Well thank you anyway. I am afraid I have to go now, but I'll let Eddy know I have seen you and again, if there's anything I can do I am just across the street."

Ana left the two elderly women to walk the short distance back to her office. She had no idea Eddy had been visiting the Dawsons and what was that about a song he was looking for? All too soon she was once again lost in her tasks and the afternoon flew by. By five she had shortlisted five proposals and had placed another three into a 'maybe' folder. She took the two most interesting proposals with her to work on at home, and she was ready to call it a day.

On Mondays Emma had a French club after school so that was when Ana did her weekly shopping. Last Monday she had just done a quick round at Earth Fare, but now they were out of almost everything so she drove straight to Bi-Lo. Her shopping done, her eyes darted to where she had parked her car and confirmed that it was still flanked by two empty parking bays. Dismissing the mixture of relief and disappointment at the sight and rolling her eyes at her own silliness, she placed the grocery bags in the booth and was finally on her way home.

Emma arrived just a few minutes after her, banging the front door and shouting in the empty family room: "I'm home!"

"I could hear you!" Ana replied from the kitchen.

When Emma appeared in the kitchen door Ana reminded her: "Can you please hold the door when you close it?"

"Yes, ma'am," Emma said and sauntered across the kitchen to plant a kiss on her mom's cheek. "What are you making, smells good."

"Brown sauce. The smell is the melted butter. I could show you if you want, it's really easy."

"Uh, thanks, I'll pass. I could never be as good as you and Nick anyway."

Of her three children Nick was the only one who had shown an interest in cooking and he was getting pretty good before he left for college. Eddy could manage a few simpler dishes, but Emma's skills were on par with her father's, limited to steaks, eggs, pasta and potatoes.

"I'll go change and can you call me when dinner's ready? I want to check something on our dance routine and I just got the video from last week."

"Fine. Go, do your thing. I'll see you later," Ana shook her head and decided that during summer leave she will have to get Emma to help a little more in the kitchen.

The wild rice was cooked and the meat was gently bubbling in the brown sauce when Dan arrived, his entrance much more sedate than his daughter's.

"Ummm, smells delicious. But can you keep it for an hour or so?"

"I can if I have to, but it will get a little dry. Why?"

"I was thinking that perhaps I should start doing a little more exercise and I was going to go for a run."

With both boys living away, Dan didn't many opportunities to engage in anything physically challenging anymore and it had started showing around his waist.

"Oh, okay. Emma's busy as well and I have brought some work home so I guess dinner will be late tonight."

"Do you mind?"

"No," Ana smiled to reassure him that she was not upset. "Go run. I'll reheat when you get back."

With Emma in her room and Dan gone for a little while, Ana spread her papers on the kitchen table and started making notes only to be interrupted after only a few minutes by her phone.

"Hello Anabelle, this is Jamie Watson. Sorry I didn't reply to your email, but I had to look it up myself. I guess changing the Director and the Treasurer at the same time was not a very smart move."

Ana chuckled. "Hi Jamie. No I guess it was not the best combination. Did you find out what happened?"

"Well, so far I have confirmed that the transfer is correct. It was going to be on the agenda for next Monday: whoever your generous sponsor is, you have another $150,000 to play with, bringing the total to a quarter of a million dollars. Other than that, all I know is that it's from the same source as before."

"Wow, that's…I don't know what to say. Is it a one off payment?"

"I don't know. Stewart might know, but I have not been able to reach him. I'm sure he'll let us know Monday but I presume you would like to know before your meeting day after tomorrow?"

"That would be very helpful, yes."

"Ok, I'll see if I can find out tomorrow. I must say you are one lucky lady. This is at least a hundred times more than the usual donations, and those come from businesses and such, all looking for tax relief or some favour in return."

"So who is behind this?"

"A private donor."

Ana's heart started hammering against her chest. "Do you know who the donor is?"

"No. That's just it. It's a private anonymous donation. Anyway, I'll see what I can find out tomorrow and let you know."

"Ok, Jamie, thank you. I'll wait to hear from you tomorrow."

Ana kept staring at her phone for several seconds. She had a quarter of a million to spend. That would cover at least four of the projects she had short listed. A hundred times more than the usual amounts… At one point in her life she had had to divide prices by a hundred in order for the numbers to make sense. The kitchen with the wooden table suddenly felt alien and she felt like an outsider, merely observing the woman seated in the chair, frowning at her phone. Her head empty of thought she gathered the papers and stacked them back in the bag dropping the phone on top of them, then stood and walked away from the kitchen. Resisting the temptation to look back, she went upstairs and knocked on Emma's door.

xXx

The following morning Ana kept herself busy with her other duties at the library. She knew it would take a while for Jamie to get back to her. Like the other members of the board he was volunteering his time and she was certain he would be busy with his day job as an accountant. Stewart, their current president, was even busier as the owner of a private construction firm.

The email from Jamie didn't reach her until early afternoon, but when it did it was to confirm that the increase in funding had been promised for five years to be used at the library director's discretion. Finally - finally!- she had a chance to start the outreach programme she had discussed with Michelle until they were both blue in the face. She knew without looking over the papers what was needed: a car to drive the books to and from people who could not make their way to the library; figure out a list of Spanish books to acquire as the Spanish community were among the intended beneficiaries of the scheme; statistics on books checked out by members over 65… The list went on but she could feel the wheel cogs turning and every single item had either a solution or at least a starting point. By five o'clock she was keen to get home and share the news with Dan.

At dinner it was for once Emma who had to keep silent while her parents were discussing Ana's news.

"Thanks Dan, this is very useful. I can't believe I didn't think of the car insurance."

Smiling at her enthusiasm he added: "I'll look into lease options for you tomorrow and let you know."

Emma had finished putting the dishes away and was waiting by the counter, looking from one parent to the other much as she had done for the past twenty minutes or so. They seemed to have finally finished talking about her mom's work so she took the opportunity to ask: "Mom, is Carla coming to graduation?"

The smile slowly faded from Ana's face. The idea of getting old did not sit well with Carla now Livingston and she had asked that the children call her by her name rather than anything that would hint to her being a grandmother. She was married for the fifth time and living in New Orleans, in the ancestral mansion of her current husband. Derek Livingston was eleven years her senior, the last surviving member of ten generations of Livingstons. Ana had met him three times in the ten years since he had married her mother and neither liked nor disliked him. She had also only seen Carla twice without Derek. On every occasion Carla had been criticising some aspect of her life and she had not made a secret of her disapproval of Emma's appearance in their life, Dan's profession or his level of income. The thought of inviting Carla to Eddy's graduation hadn't even crossed her mind.

"No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Well, I was going to ask Eddy if he can get tickets for Mandy and her mom, but Carol-Ann told Jake they were limited to eight tickets per student so there was no point if Carla was coming."

Frowning Ana asked: "I can understand Mandy, but why would her mom want to come?"

Emma shrugged: "I don't know. She is really weird these days. First she told Mandy she could go, but then she said Mandy can only go if she comes. But Carol-Ann's grand-parents are coming so there's only one ticket left."

This time it was Dan who asked: "Not that I understand why these people would like to come but even with Carla and Derek there's only six of us."

"Oh I already promised Jenny I'll ask for tickets for her and her mom."

"Wait a minute," Ana said, "since when are Jenny and her mom coming to Eddy's graduation?"

"Uh, I forgot to tell you. Well I didn't even ask Eddy yet, but it's like everybody's gone crazy about this thing. It wasn't even Jenny who asked, it was her mom. 'It's such a unique opportunity to hear one of the most successful businessmen in the country' Emma mimicked Jenny's mom's high pitched voice. "As if she's ever been interested in business. She always complains about how much Jenny's dad works."

It was Dan's turn to lose some of his good mood. He couldn't help a glance towards his wife. Ana didn't look happy either.

"Emma" she started, then paused. "Look," she continued, "this is a family affair. We are going so we can be there for Eddy, to congratulate him and celebrate with him. If you want to bring your friends, Dan and I will discuss it. But their mothers…it just doesn't seem right."

She looked at Dan. Her words had lifted his spirits somewhat and he rushed to support her decision.

"I agree. We'll think about Jenny and Mandy, but, as your mom said, this is Eddy's day and it doesn't sound like those two women have any interest in celebrating Eddy."

"But dad, they are my best friends and I promised!"

"You promised you will ask and now you have asked and we said no."

"But why? They don't have to sit with us if you don't want them to."

"Well now that would be awkward, don't you think? Asking them to sit somewhere else, I mean. No Emma. Just tell them we said no, that we want to keep this a family event."

Like all children, Emma had often tried and occasionally succeeded in playing one of her parents against the other. This time the look on her mom's face and the slow affirmative nod stopped her from even trying.

"It's not fair" she said and stormed out of the kitchen then rushed up the stairs to her room.

"Dan, I'm sorry. It's…"Ana said in the silence following Emma's exit.

"You were right, Belle," Dan interrupted. "We are going for Eddy, to be with him. I'm not interested in anybody else being there," he said, his expression neutral and his voice firm. "Is this your speech?" he nodded towards the papers on the corner of the table.

A little surprised at the change of subject Ana looked down at the scribbled pages. "Yes, it is. I wanted to read it a few more times."

"Well, if you want, we can move to the couch and you can practice."

**AN: Next chapter - Ana gets more information than she has bargained for**


	12. Placeholder

** This chapter is empty as contents have been merged with previous chapters**


	13. Summer Storm Ch12 Jigsaw Puzzle

**AN: Happy New Year to you all, and a heart felt thank you to all who not only read this but also take the time to review and PM. Your thoughts and comments are invaluable and make this a better story. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 12 Jigsaw puzzle

The yearly event giving the President of the Board, the library Director, school governors and PTA representatives a chance to discuss common goals was held Wednesday afternoon. Ana had attended twice as a PTA representative and once when she had delivered her impassionate speech for the tutoring scheme- and she had met some of the governors and PTA representatives through the years, while working with them on various projects. This time however she was going to sit upfront and be part of the decision making. With the room almost full she found herself fidgeting and avoiding eye contact with the other attendees while darting frequent glances to the door. Finally a short rotund man, his salt-and-pepper hair in a crown around the baldness on the top of his head stepped into the doorway, his brown eyes sweeping through the room until they landed on her.

With casual nods towards various guests he approached her with a smile on his face and his arm extended for a handshake. "Apologies for my late arrival, my previous meeting ran over."

"Hello, Stewart. No problem, I think everybody is enjoying the opportunity to catch up."

Eyes sweeping over the attendees talking in small groups scattered through the room, Stewart lowered his voice to make their conversation personal. "Could I have a moment of your time after the meeting? I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Sure. We could go to my office if you want."

"Oh, it's not about the library. Perhaps I could buy you a coffee?"

"Sure."

"Well, shall we start then?"

In a flattering but mercifully brief statement Stewart introduced her as the newly appointed library director, and then it was her turn. The report on current projects was a pretty straight forward one and the presentation of the initiatives she had selected for the coming year was met with few objections. Once suggestions for ways to improve the original proposals were made and noted, the part where she was the main speaker was over. Breathing a sigh of relief, Ana sat back in her chair. With a smile and a wink, Dona Marple, a Nurse-midwife working at the Piedmont Medical Centre and an active supporter of the library initiatives, mouthed: "And blow."

The final part of the meeting was meant for any topics the guests wanted to discuss. As it turned out, Stewart was able to either answer most of the questions or promise that they will be discussed at the following Library Board meeting and very little input was required of Ana. Finally there was only one hand in the air.

"The gentleman at the back." Stewart said, unable to place a name to the face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Dean Adams and I am a governor at Castle Heights Middle School."

This piqued Ana's attention: Castle Heights was where all her children had attended.

"My question is beyond the scope of this meeting," Dean Adams was saying, "but I could not pass an opportunity to ask when so many of you are present. We are looking for a French tutor for our after school French club. If any of you know someone who would be interested I would be grateful if you could spread the word."

"A foreign language club in middle school? Isn't this rather unusual?" a woman asked.

"Yes, it is. As far as I am aware we are the only middle school in Rock Hill to offer one."

"I could circulate this in our school, Dean," said a female voice at Ana's left, "but does it have to be French? I think you would have an easier time recruiting a Spanish teacher."

Murmurs of approval rippled through the room.

"You are quite right, but we already have a Spanish club."

"How well attended are these language clubs?," asked the president of Rawlinson Road PTA.

"To be honest in the eleven years we have run these clubs, the largest group has been six pupils and that was for Spanish."

It was obvious for Ana that Dean did not have a lot of support in the room. She looked at Diane. Eddy, Emma and Diane's daughter had all been members of the French club. At Diane's nod she cleared her throat: "I know about the club, Mr Adams. My two youngest have been members and the eldest has attended the Spanish club. All of them have enjoyed it very much and found it very helpful once they started high school."

"So has my daughter," Diane took over. "In fact she is in France right now studying literature and I am sure her love of the language has started in that club."

Dean Adams smiled his gratitude at them both.

"I have seen this advertised, Dean," said Frank Hoffstetter, another school governor. "I take it you did not get any responses?"

"No, we haven't and I'm afraid we are running out of time."

"I thought you were looking for someone for the fall term," said Frank

"We are, but we need to fill the position now. We have a grant that is due for renewal and offering at least two languages including French is the sole condition placed on the use of the funds."

Not sure what else she could say Ana remained quiet and surveyed the room. When her gaze fell on Stewart she noticed he was observing her with pursed lips and a slight frown. Wondering if she had overstepped her role speaking in defence of the club, she looked away.

"Mr Adams, we are all aware of how important these grants can be for the smooth functioning of our institutions," Steward spoke. "Between all of us we should be able to help find a suitable candidate. What is the best way to contact you?"

"Thank you Mr Brock. Via the school would be appropriate. This is an official position with usual terms and conditions, benefits and pay rates," Dean finished his sales pitch.

It took another twenty minutes for the room to clear. As hosts, Ana and Stewart were the last to leave.

"Thank you for defending the French club, Stewart. As it is not a library matter, I hope I was not out of line speaking up."

"Out of line? No, not at all. You sounded very keen on that club and throwing your weight around a little didn't do any harm. If you are still on for that coffee, there's a Starbucks just two blocks away."

Blushing at the implication that she had any weight to 'throw around', Ana hid her embarrassment behind a slow nod.

The Starbucks was busy with the five o'clock crowd, so once Steward got his coffee and Ana got a cup of tea, they perched on two bar stools at the end of the high table running the length of one wall.

"The meeting that run over earlier today," Stewart said, "was about the martial arts centre. Do you know it?"

"I know there is one by CrossFit, that's where my boys went."

"Your boys went there?" Stewart's eyebrows flew up.

"Yes. Nick, my eldest, had already done a little jujitsu in one of the smaller places, but that one was badly affected by the storm. We had trouble with the house as well and by the time we started looking for somewhere else for him to practice the centre had just opened. He liked it there and the following year his brother started as well but in Taekwondo."

His coffee forgotten, Stewart was staring at her. Her smile and casual demeanour rapidly fading under the scrutiny, Ana reverted to her professional self. "Stewart, what is this about?"

"Frankly, I am beginning to wonder the same thing," Stewart informed her. "I know sometimes people can just get lucky, but in your case this seems to keep happening. "

Frowning, Ana returned his searching stare. "I am not sure what you mean."

"Before the meeting tonight, I was just going to ask if there was any chance that you knew who the sponsor for the library is. The centre is eight years old and while it makes a small profit, it is nowhere enough to fund some of the repair and refurbishing work that is now needed. My firm is willing to supply the work force free of cost, but we need funding for materials and some new equipment." Stewart's southern drawl deepened as he speculated: "Your speech four years ago brought in a $100,000 donation. It can't be coincidence that less than a month after you became Director that amount was more than doubled." The same unsettling feeling Ana had had two days ago resurfaced, as Stewart pressed on: "Tonight I found out that the school where your children attended has a grant that requires them to offer a foreign language club, which your children went to. And now you are telling me that they both went to the martial arts centre. Do you know how much that centre cost to build?"

"No. Why would I?"

"A little over two million dollars. It was six months after the storm. Everybody was scraping the bottoms of their purses for money, materials, labour… Most of the major companies had started recalling the heavy machinery and the workers they had donated. Almost everybody else had reduced their help to a trickle. And then out of the blue I get a call from Posterus. You remember them?"

That was one of the charities that had helped with the rebuilding process. Her face locked in a neutral expression, Ana managed a nod.

"They asked to meet with me. I know some of the things people are whispering about me, that I made my money out of the rebuilding effort. But I didn't make a penny on the houses. It was the deal with Posterus that placed my company on the map. They came to me with the plans already drawn and full funding for repairing the fitness centre and adding the Martial Arts annex."

Stewart had stopped talking giving her some time to process all the information: '$100,000 grant,' 'more than doubled', 'foreign language club grant', 'two million dollars'…'$22,874,273'. The constant hum of voices around her mixed with the rush of blood to her head as in her mind the echo of a voice from another time, another life, drowned all other noises. '_Anastasia, I earn roughly one hundred thousand dollars an hour.'_ Defeated, Ana bowed her head.

"Anabelle, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I am just a little surprised and well, you have to admit that's a lot of coincidences."

The sound of her name dragging her back to the Starbucks café, Ana heard herself speak: "I never considered how…timely all these grants and donations were." She found the strength to raise her head but not the courage to meet her companion's eyes. "Let me think about it for a couple of days. I'll get back to you," she said fumbling with the strap of her handbag. Her other hand pushed against the edge of the table as she stood. "I have to go. I'll see you Monday."

Stewart stood up as well. "Let me take you to your car."

"Thank you, but I need to stop by the office first," she said mustering a small smile and briefly meeting his eyes. Then something occurred to her. "The martial arts centre, who owns it?" she asked.

"The company is called Strike Zone, the trainers all have shares and are joint owners. Why?"

"You said that's how you made your money, but the plans and the funds came from Posterus. Did you own the land?"

"No, the land was communal property, owned by the city council. Still is, in fact. That's why it was so surprising that they had building permission. I suspect they called in a favour or two in exchange for all the help they had provided with various city and communal buildings."

"So the Martial Arts centre was not the only building funded by Posterus?"

"No. They were also behind the renovations of the city hall, the library and Cherry Park."

The bits of the puzzle finally fell into place: the children's school and activities, her place of work and her favourite park in the city…The expression on her face apparently warranted an explanation as Stewart added "I didn't mean to imply they did anything wrong. At the end of the day the city is getting rent money off the land, my crew got paid and whoever is behind Posterus got a sizeable tax relief on their donations, so business-wise it was a win-win scenario for all parties."

"Of course it was. Thank you, Stewart. Goodnight."

The two blocks to the library building were a familiar route and Ana's feet carried her without needing much conscious input. Her eyes roamed over the familiar buildings wondering which ones had been touched by his wealth, by his distant benevolence. Sally's dinner came into view. She crossed the street and was rudely awakened form the dreamlike quality of her thoughts by the solid reality of the locked library door. A little surprised to be there, she looked behind her as if to reassure herself that she had actually travelled the distance from where she was before to where she now found herself standing. Her eyes fell on the building across the street from Sally's and one more piece fell into place: Mrs Dawson's music school.

She had not lied to Stewart when she had said she wanted to go back to the office. At that moment in time she thought she needed pen and paper and a quiet moment to write things down, make a list, a time line of events. That had now become unnecessary: a musical instrument, a foreign language and a martial art. She had declined alimony or child support so he had ensured she had a job and was able to support their son. Throw in a park to spend some quality leisure time and a Christian-Grey-sized 'congratulations on your promotion' present… it all made perfect sense. Her puzzle solved she walked away from the door towards the parking lot, deep in thought. Eddy was one thing but why her? Why The Rose award and the park?

Finally sat in the car she looked into the rear-view mirror. _"What do you want Anastasia?"_ the memory of the rich male voice swept over her and for a brief moment a pair of silver grey eyes stared back at her.

"Anabelle. My name is Anabelle Parson," she whispered as the image in the mirror was once again that of her own blue gaze. She would not cry. She would not let old wounds reopen and tear her apart. Her sanity slowly returning she started to consider another option: surely there was someone else around who cared enough to help? She could deliver a speech to the city council meeting in support of the Martial Arts Centre; see if the history repeated itself. She also needed to find a way to verify her suspicions about Mrs Dawson's sudden and convenient appearance in Rock Hill, in an ideal spot for her to notice the music school. She was feeling increasingly better about the whole damn mess. After all it was her and Dan's decision to have the children attend the school. It was the two of them who had paid the fees…The blare of a horn alerted Ana that the traffic light has changed. The fees: six months free of charge and then half price in exchange for some amateur advertising. Anger mounting she had to make a conscious effort to not press the accelerator pedal to the floor. She had thought the woman liked her, maybe even considered her a friend! The image of Gail and Jason Taylor crossed her mind and left her with a bitter taste in her mouth. Like them, Mrs Dawson was just another one of his employees, another person keeping his secrets and probably laughing behind her back at how naïve she was. The bubbling anger was however quickly dampened by a sizeable dose of guilt. She had taken his son away, yet he had found a way to support him, support them.

As she walked through the door leading from the garage to the corridor, she was greeted by the enticing smell of cooking.

"Ah, here you are! Come in, I have a surprise for you," Dan said from the door to the family room.

Unsure of herself, Ana curbed her smile at the sight of her husband wearing an apron.

"Ta Da!" Dan stepped aside to allow her full view of the room.

Ana's eyes roamed over the empty middle and the furniture pushed as close to the walls as it would go.

"Emma is at dance so I thought you and I could also do a little practice. Maybe I could avoid another lecture next month."

Ana finally dared let her smile show. "You want to dance?"

"Well, we have danced before. I didn't realize how long it has been. So what do you say? Unless you would rather have diner first?"

Dan was not a natural dancer and he had been a rather reluctant participant in his daughter's 'crazy notion' –as he called it – of getting him to learn all those complicated dances. For him to actually initiate a session was rare enough that Ana didn't want to let the occasion slip. If they had dinner first she'd have to tell him about the meeting...

"Dance first, but I need to change."

"Ok. You go change and I'll see about the food."

"It smells very good. What are we having?"

"Tacos. I thought it would be appropriate, with the tango and all that."

"Great idea! I won't be long."

Dan had taken the time to prepare a play list to dance to and two hours later they both collapsed on the couch, breathless from exertion and from the laughter. That's how Emma found them when she arrived home from her own dance lesson. Her eyes moving from the rearranged furniture to her parents' heavy breathing, her ears full of the Spanish music still playing on repeat, a grin spread over her face. "You have been practicing! Can I see?"

"Oh, no. Me dancing is just for birthdays, "Dan said then added with a side glance to his wife "and date nights with your mom."

"C'mon dad, just one."

"Nope. Well, I'm starving. Who's for food?"

"Food sounds good. Thank you for the dancing, that was fun," Ana smiled at her husband then turned to Emma. "Hey you, how was practice?"

"I can see that I am dismissed then" Dan said as he stood up with a grunt. "Might as well go heat up the food."

When Dan had disappeared into the kitchen Emma asked: "Dad's cooking?"

"Mhm." Ana nodded one hand absentmindedly caressing Emma's long black hair.

"Is that safe?"

"Emma!" Ana admonished pretend-shocked. "It's not nice to make fun of people. Besides he has cooked before."

"True, but not in the middle of the week. And how did you get him to dance? Or did I scare him at Eddy's birthday?"

"He actually offered," Ana said looking towards the kitchen as the unmistakable sound of pots banging against each other could now be heard over the music. "If you're going to change better do it now. I'm sure he won't appreciate it if you're not ready when he calls."

As the clatter stopped and the enticing smell of cooked food once filled the apartment, Ana stood from the couch only to be stopped by Dan before she could enter the kitchen: "Uh, just another couple of minutes. The meat is almost done. I thought I'd move the furniture back."

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?" said Ana trying to peek over his shoulder into what was traditionally her territory.

"Nope. I'll let you have all the fun tomorrow, but for now I've got it covered," he stirred her gently back into the family room.

Once the family room had been restored to its usual appearance, Dan called Emma down to dinner and soon enough they were all seated at the table.

"Thank you Dan, this looks fantastic," Ana said looking over the small pots of dips, the bowls of shredded salad and browned beef mince, the stack of heated tortillas and the plate of thinly sliced peppers.

"Oh, so that's what Linda was doing here!" exclaimed Emma.

"She helped a little," admitted Dan before sitting down. "Well, go ahead, tuck in."

Making conversation while eating tacos is not easy, but they managed to find out that Dan's boss had found a place in Charlotte which looked like a good investment for a branch shop and was actually quite close to the head office of their biggest customer, a car rental company. "I never quite figured out why they'd come all the way to Rock Hill for the maintenance, but there you go. At least now we'll be close to them", he finished his tale.

Emma also had news to share. The dance teacher, Miss Bowles, had agreed to allow some of the changes Emma had suggested and they were now rehearsing those. "I hope you'll like it. It's a bit more complicated than what we have done so far but Miss Bowles thinks it's really good. She said she'll try to get us to perform somewhere public but she'll need the parents to approve. Oh, maybe that's why she wants to talk to you," Emma said looking at Ana.

Careful so her taco didn't crumble, Ana asked "When does she want to talk to me?"

"She just said to ask if you would call her."

"Ok, I'll do that tomorrow morning."

They were almost done with the meal when Dan turned to her: "You never said: how was your meeting?"

"It was OK, I think. I need to run something by you, get your opinion, but it can wait until after the news."

"I've missed most of them already but I'm recording so I can watch later," Dan said getting a beer out of the refrigerator. "Want one?"

"No, thanks, I think I'd rather have some water."

"Sparkling?"

At her nod he picked up a bottle and took it and his can of beer to the family room, while Ana followed him with two glasses.

"There's something I need to tell you as well," Dan said as they sat down on the couch. "Adam Barnes has called. To prove your identity you'll need your birth certificate, the divorce decree, at least one of the property deeds and one more document with your picture on it. The driver's license is too old, he said. A school year book would do if you have one, and if you are still recognizable in the picture."

Her carefree mood rapidly dissipating, Ana nodded: "I have the high school year book from my senior year, it's in the box." Right under the tape showing Christian and his sub, she didn't add.

Dan noticed the change but had to tell her the rest. "You'll also have to have some proof of residence in Washington State. He suggested you could rent a small apartment and have a utility bill to show. He offered to arrange that. Finally you'll have to go to Seattle, in person, and apply for a driving license."

As Dan was speaking, the small crease between Ana's eyebrows had deepened to a furrow.

"I can't go to Seattle, Dan," she stated, then stopped before she dissolved into a mess of hurt and regrets and guilt.

The tension he had hid behind his overenthusiastic demeanour easing off, Dan slumped a little in the couch. If she didn't want to go back to Seattle, didn't want to reconnect with her old life…that suited him just fine. "Perhaps we could let that part go. If you're sure that you don't mind, that is."

"But what about the trust fund for Emma and Nick?"

"You still have the cheque."

"Ok, thank you," said Ana, her voice still strained.

Dan moved a little closer to her. "Hey, we're in this together. We don't have to do any of it. It's just that it would feel so…foolish to let it all go."

"I know. You're right." Ana took a deep breath and slowly released it. "After the meeting today, I talked to Stewart, the President of the Board. He needs help with some funding. He pointed out that things keep happening to me, around me: the $100,000 donation for the library four years ago and now that's changed to $250,000. Castle Heights offering languages after school is a condition for an anonymous grant, the Martial Arts Centre was built with money from Posterus –a private charity. They also paid for, or helped with, restoring Cherry Park and the library among other things. And something Stewart didn't know about: Mrs Dawson's music school conveniently opening just across the street from the library where I was certain to see it."

"But the language club is for all the students, not just ours, and the Martial Arts Centre is something that had been discussed for a while. Posterus was just one of the charities_" Dan stopped rather abruptly.

"I didn't know there was talk about a Martial Arts Centre," Ana said. "After all that trouble to find a suitable place for Nick to go to, I am pretty sure I'd remember if there were plans to build a proper centre."

Dan smiled at her: "The trouble was because **you** were dead set on him taking on martial arts and **he** couldn't make up his mind on what he wanted to do. But you are right, there was no Centre planned then. The talk about the Centre didn't start until a few months after Nick had settled on jujitsu. Do you remember when those boys tried to make trouble for the club?"

"Of course I remember. Nick almost ended up with a police record!"

"Well, yes, until that guy came along and testified that Nick had not been involved and picked up the other boys in the line-up. Wonder what happened to him, he disappeared after the trial." Dan shook his head to shake off the bad memories. "Anyway, soon after that a private investor approached three of the clubs with the idea of building a centre together. They were going to put down the initial money for the build and the Centre would be run as a co-op paying them rent. Then after the storm two of the clubs including Nick's were left badly damaged and all of them had lost a lot of customers with people having other things on their mind than karate training." As a nod confirmed she remembered this much, Dan continued: "That's when Posterus contacted them. The plans and the contracts where exactly the same as before, the only change was that instead of paying rent to the private investor the Centre would pay rent to the City for the land. As for the investor, the money was now going through a charity so they'd get tax relief for them instead of the rent. So you see, building the Centre was just good business," Dan finished.

"Yes, Dan. And Stewart got his company off the ground building that centre. An all-around win-win business plan."

Dan nodded smiling at her but as she just stared back the smile slowly disappeared from his face. "There are other good business men around," he pointed out defensively.

"I know, but…Ray was a good man and a good father to me, but not very worldly or ambitious. Carla, she was mostly concerned with herself. I sort of just grew up, you know: went to school, picked up as much as I could from there and spent my free time as I saw fit. Until I met Grace, Christian's mother, that's the only image I had of parenthood." Ana had to stop for a moment to push back the sadness and the longing at the memory of her mother in law.

"'_A musical instrument, a foreign language and a martial art' _was her mantra for her children. There were other things, but she had insisted on these three in particular for all her children. We, Christian and I," she clarified, a hint of pink in her cheeks betraying her embarrassment, "had agreed we would do the same for T…Eddy."

A blank expression on his face, Dan remained quiet for several minutes. When he finally spoke it was to simply remark: "Must be nice to have that kind of money."

"Dan", Ana started but he interrupted her before she could continue. "I get it. He is Eddy's biological father and he certainly has the means, so he did what he felt was needed. I suppose I should just be grateful that he arranged for all of that, but I wish I had known about it, had an opportunity to agree or to choose." Abruptly he changed tracks: "How do you feel about this?"

"A little better, I think. I mean knowing that he found a way, that I didn't shut him out completely from Eddy's life, does help with some of the guilt."

"Well, there's that I suppose," Dan conceded. "So how's the rest of the week for you? Anything in particular planned?"

"Board meeting on Monday, so I should prepare for that, but nothing else. Why?"

Dan shrugged: "Just asking."

"And you?" Ana reciprocated joining in the effort to bring the conversation back to them, to their family.

"Nothing much. I thought I'd go running again Friday but I should be done by the time Emma gets home."

"Ok. I'll plan for a late dinner."

His smile not touching his eyes, Dan reached for the remote and was soon engrossed in the news and the sports. Ana picked up her book but her emotions were still too raw to be able to concentrate. An hour later Dan surprised her by calling to her: "I think this is one of the shows you watch sometimes."

Watching TV together was not an uncommon way for them to spend an evening, but tonight they sat further away from each other than they usually did, and the silence was less that of easy companionship and more of a heavier kind, the silence of two people lost in their own thoughts, unable to share their hopes and their fears.

**AN Ready to leave Rock Hill for a while?**


	14. Placeholder2

This chapter is empty as the contents have been merged into the previous chapter


	15. Summer StormCh 13 The worst kept secrets

Ch 13 The worst kept secrets

The following day, a little after lunch time, Christian was engrossed in work in his office on the top floor of the GEH building. When the intercom buzzed he mechanically pressed the button and waited for whatever information was deemed important enough to interrupt him.

"Mr Elliot Grey is on his way up, sir."

Releasing the button he resumed typing his comments on the report on his screen and had just enough time to press save before the door flew open to admit his brother.

"Congrats bro, you've managed to piss off Governor Roberts again," Elliot started without preamble. "Can't you give the guy a break? Unlike you, we little people occasionally depend on his good will."

The tall, broad figure of his brother was now half sprawled on the white leather sofa, his feet crossed at the ankles and resting on the polished walnut of the hand-made Italian coffee table. Luckily, Elliot's days of muddy boots and dusty coveralls were long gone, now replaced with tailored suits and leather shoes. The feet-on-the-table attitude was reminiscent of those old times though and piqued Christian's curiosity.

"200 million and change is not exactly little people, Elliot. And why do you need the favours of our good governor? I thought the West End project has been signed and stamped."

Squinting his eyes Elliot considered challenging his brother on how come he was so well informed, but the answer to that question was evident in his surroundings: the king of Seattle was sitting on his leather throne against the back drop of the city sprawled beyond the windows. He sighed and passed his hand through his hair settling for a non-committal: "Some other stuff."

His grey eyes gleaming Christian leaned his head to one side: "'Stuff', is that a technical term in the construction business?"

"Seriously, Christian. Lay off the guy for a while. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have to listen to a 10 minutes rant every time I meet with him?"

"That I do. Is this why you're here? To ask me to lay off the Governor?"

Instead of answering, Elliot stood up and walked to the wall to wall window fixing his gaze on the vista below. Alerted, Christian swivelled in his chair to watch his brother. Elliot's visits were not unusual but neither did he come just to admire the view. Seconds later Elliot turned around and but then his eyes landed on the two picture frames on Christian's desk. He pursed his lips and reached out to pick one up. Instantly, Christian's expression went from expectant to dead serious.

"Elliot!" he warned.

Elliot settled the frame back on the desk, but kept his eyes on the two people in the picture. "He looks a lot like you, especially at that age," he commented turning his gaze away from the picture and onto his brother. "Do you ever regret it, not making contact?"

It was Christian's turn to stand up. Instead of mindlessly gazing through the windows he went to the book case on the left wall and opened the door to the built-in refrigerator.

"You know why I chose to stay away. What is this about, Elliot?" he turned around holding with two bottles of water and went to sit on the couch.

Elliot's eyes darted from the small picture on the table to the large pictures of Ana framing the door, but eventually he sat at the opposite end of the couch.

"I was at Bellevue today. Mom said she and Sam are going shopping for dresses for some charity ball. She said you'll be taking them both out of town, week after next."

Christian raised an eyebrow to indicate the change of subject had not gone unnoticed, but he nodded his awareness of his mother and daughter's plans.

Elliot opened his bottle of water then with infinite care set it down on the coffee table. "Does mom know why you're going to Columbia?"

With every ounce of self-control he possessed, Christian maintained a carefully controlled tone to probe: "What do you mean?"

"That blank poker face of yours doesn't work on me Christian. Does mom know you're going to hand Teddy his degree?"

A hint of anger flashed in Christian's eyes but before he could say anything Elliot raised a hand to stop him.

"I'm married to Kate, Christian. I had her followed a few years ago, you can guess why. Imagine my surprise when I saw her not with a lover but with Ana and her family."

This time Christian's jaw set in a hard line: "You never said anything to me. Does Katherine know?"

"That _**I**_ know or that you do?" Elliot's voice also held a hint of anger. "No, she doesn't. I would have had to explain why I had her followed and I wasn't ready to do that. You obviously already knew where Ana and Teddy were. I did consider whether I should tell you that Kate also knew, maybe warn you to be careful if you wanted to keep it a secret, and then I realized: Kate's business trips did not seem to follow any pattern but thinking back she is often away on the second of May," Elliot paused to let the words sink. "And so are you," he added.

"How long have you known?" Christian broke the silence.

"Nine years. I had just found out about Matt, I wanted to have some options."

Christian knew what Elliot meant: the adultery clause in his and Katherine's prenup meant that if Kate found out about Elliot's son and asked for a divorce, unless Elliot could prove she had also cheated, she would get half of Grey Constructions. He threaded the fingers of one hand through his hair wondering why Elliot had chosen this particular time to bring this up. Weary of Elliot's peculiar mood he stayed away from direct confrontation and instead asked: "How do you know about the degree?"

Elliot actually rolled his eyes. "I have been keeping track of him, Christian. I know he goes at USC and guess who the guest speaker is at his graduation? I suppose you are the reason attendance is by invitation only?"

Christian shrugged: "Sawyer insisted."

"So, again, does mom know?"

"Yes, she does. And before you ask I only told her last week."

Elliot looked at his brother wondering just how much that brilliant business mind was clouded by his love for the woman who had broken him and by the longing for the son he had resigned himself to watch from a distance. "So what's the plan, then?"

"Again, what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Christian. Anastasia will never believe your presence there is mere coincidence. So after all these years, and if you still think it was the right decision, why pull the cat out of the proverbial bag?"

Christian's usual reaction would have been to tell Elliot to mind his own business. But today something was bothering his brother.

"Teddy is due to gain access to his trust fund the Monday after graduation, so they would have found out that I know where they are anyway."

His tone bordering on disbelief, Elliot asked "You were going to contact him about his trust fund?"

Both hands now running through his hair, Christian looked away from Elliot to fix his stare on Ana's portraits by the door: "Not me, but the lawyers will. He is old enough to be allowed to make his own choices."

With Christian still looking at Ana, Elliot could take a moment to think about the enigma that was his brother. The smartest business man of his generation, he could get a board room to eat out of his hand in no time, charm a room of seasoned negotiators or get a bunch of shrewd businessmen to open their wallets to a charitable cause, yet in terms of dealing with his family he seemed completely clueless.

"Christian," he chose his words carefully, "you can't just send him a cheque."

Those clear grey eyes turned to him. "Why not?"

"Because he'd hate your guts for it, that's why."

The lack of response at his provocative statement tipped Elliot that the tidbit of insight he had just imparted wasn't news to his brother. "You have already figured that out, haven't you?"

Christian sighed. Elliot was like a dog with a bone this afternoon.

"Yes, I did. I told Ana. She'll tell him after graduation."

"You spoke with Ana?!" Elliot could not have hidden the astonishment in his voice if he tried.

"No, I wrote her a letter. Elliot, what is this about? You said you went to Bellevue, is everything all right with mom?"

Still shocked by the news that his brother had contacted his ex-wife, Elliot answered a little absentmindedly: "Mom's fine, I just wanted to ask if we could have dinner together this weekend."

"Since when did you get so formal?"

"Not just me, I meant all of us, as a family. It's been a while."

"I see. So what did mom say?"

"She said its fine by her, but that I should ask you."

"Ell, are you sure it's a good idea?"

"Christian, Kate shouldn't have said what she did, but you know how she gets when anybody criticizes Ava."

"And what does Katherine think about your family dinner idea?"

"I have not told her yet. I wanted to check with you and mom first."

Christian took a moment to consider the pros and cons of having himself, Katherine Kavanagh-Grey and Grace in the same room for the first time since the aftermath of Ava's eighteen birthday party. It didn't take him long to arrive at the same conclusion as always: Katherine was Elliot's wife. For his brother's sake both he and their mother will be on their best behaviour.

"Ok, Ell, family dinner it is. But next week would work better for me."

"I can't, I'm out of town."

The words themselves were innocent enough but Elliot had broken their eye connection. Once again on alert, Christian searched his mind. Weekend after next was May 22-23... May 21st: Matt's birthday.

"Are you leaving Friday?"

"Thursday evening, actually."

"Elliot, is this about Matt?"

When Elliot looked up again there was a new found determination in his expression: "We need to talk, Christian. At least I need to talk to you. But not here. Can we meet up later?"

Now concerned for his brother, Christian acknowledged with a nod: "Come to the house. I should be there by 6-6.30. Dinner's at seven if you are interested."

"Thanks but I have a dinner meeting. I could be around later, nine maybe?"

"Sure, whenever you get there's fine."

Just after nine, Elliot turned left off Evergreen Point and onto the private road leading to Christian's property in Medina. With the Gates and the Bezos living just half an hour of leisurely walk down the road, Medina was well used to billionaires keen on privacy and security, which is why Christian had chosen to build his home here. GEH's business model meant that about a third of the businesses in Washington State were now or had at some point been owned by GEH and quite a few of the rest had business dealings with GEH. That made Christian the most influential player in Washington State, possibly on the West Coast, but it also meant he had more potential enemies than other Seattle billionaires.

Elliot slowed down to allow the security cameras to identify him and then stopped in front of the simple gate.

"Good evening Mr Grey," the gate security greeted him as soon as he stepped out of the car.

No cars other than Christian's were allowed on the property. The engine of a black SUV roared to life and familiar with the security protocol Elliot climbed in the back seat. Another 'Good evening Mr Grey' greeted him, this time from the driver of the SUV, and the gates swung open to permit access to the purposefully twisting and turning driveway to the house. Christian's home came into view as soon as they were past the tree line, but before they got there the winding road took them past the guest wing. As always Elliot let his eyes glide over his handiwork: a modern, glass walled construction backed against the forest, the bottom floor housing a grand dining room with seating for twenty people, two salons, and a conference room, the upper floor occupied by half a dozen guest suites. An industrial sized kitchen and various amenities were discreetly hidden underground. A covered walkway ran along the front of the building and the magnificent view of lake Washington slightly below added to the impression of space and lack of boundaries. For most of Christian's guests, this was where the journey would end.

For Elliot however the journey continued down the slope, until the car stopped in front of the family home built closer to the waterfront.

"Mr Grey is in the library and is expecting you, sir," his driver informed him.

Thanking the security guard, Elliot opened the front door of the building Christian had commissioned as a '_small family home for Sam and I'._ As it turned out the only space comparable to a room in a small family home was the walk-in closet in Christian's bedroom, and he had two of those.

"Honey, I'm home!" Elliot shouted, letting the door close behind him.

His flippant greeting resulted in a deafening silence followed by giggles coming from the music room to his left. A shuffle and then Samantha Grey appeared in the doorway. Tall, with shining green eyes, her jet black hair in a side braid from which a few bangs had escaped and were now framing her face, she enthusiastically greeted him "Uncle Elliot! How nice to see you, dad didn't say you were coming."

"Nice to see you too Princess."

"How are you? I'm sorry I have not been around much lately. School has been really busy."

Elliot's eyes were drawn to movement behind his niece were two other teenagers had appeared. Sam looked over her shoulder and waived in the direction of the music room. "Reagan and Doyle, my classmates. Reagan, Doyle, I think you have already met Uncle Elliot."

During murmured 'good evenings' Elliot's eyes darted around the foyer then upwards to the top of the curved staircase until he found what he was looking for: standing two steps behind the bannister on the top floor, the black suit of a security guard, hands behind his back, eyes trained on the group of people now assembled in the foyer.

Christian's idea of a family home had extended into decreeing that as soon as he arrived in the evening all the staff left the house and he and Samantha were supposed to manage by themselves. But with guests present, even teenage school mates, the same decree stated security was mandatory. Samantha had noticed his wondering gaze and looked up as well. She simply smiled at the guard, then turned her attention back to her uncle: "Will you be staying for a little while? We are almost finished with our homework and I can join you."

"I'm sorry Sam, maybe another time. I need to talk to your dad for a while and then I should be going."

"Oh, all right, but you still owe me a rematch," Samantha said looking at something over his right shoulder.

Elliot half turned to see his brother standing by the library door, arms crossed across his chest, mouth curved in a smile.

"You'll never live that one down; you know that, don't you?" Christian said.

"Ok, Ok," Elliot raised his hands in surrender. "Tennis game it is. As soon as I can make it, I promise."

"I'll hold you to it," Sam smiled then turned towards her friends: "C'mon guys, let's finish this."

As the teenagers left their sight, the smiles on the brother's faces slowly faded. Christian stepped aside to let his brother into the library but Elliot hesitated. With a look towards the music room he said: "I think somewhere more private would be better."

Christian's home office was decorated in the same white, grey and dark blue as his office at Grey House, with the large desk in the middle of the room and the LCD panel covering most of the left wall exact replicas of the ones in his city seat of power. However here the shelves on the right wall were lined with diplomas, trophies and family photos. Grace and Carrick's golden wedding anniversary photo, taken less than a year before Carrick's heart attack, dominated the middle shelf. Fanning out from that central point, photos of Samantha, Teddy, Ava and Mia's three children told the story of a growing third generation. Like in his city office, two large portraits of Ana framed the door. But where in town she was shown as serious in one and smiling in the other, here she was scowling on the right and outright laughing on the left. The effect was more intimate, and for Elliot more unsettling.

The clinking of ice cubes against crystal brought Elliot's attention back to his brother. In the corner of the room, between two leather armchairs was a table hiding a minibar, and Christian was pouring amber coloured liquid from a crystal decanter into two glasses.

"Not for me, Christian, I have to drive," Elliot said, slumping into one armchair.

Christian hesitated for maybe half a second then finished filling the glasses and set them on the table. With barely a glance to his brother he crossed the open space to his desk and pressed a button on the black remote-control like device sitting by the keyboard. A male voice instantly filled the air: "Henderson."

"My brother is going to need a ride home tonight."

"Yes, sir."

"I don't want to bother your security guys, Christian."

"And I don't want to drink alone," Christian countered. When Elliot looked unconvinced he sighed: "You really want to do this dry?"

Conceding the point, Elliot picked up his glass. "Salud!" he said before a mouthful of the fiery liquid filled his nose with a nutty and smoky aroma.

"Salud!" Christian replied and downed some of his own drink, then put the glass down, leaned back in his armchair and waited for Elliot to speak his mind.

"You asked me if this was about Matt. The answer is both yes and no," Elliot carefully watched his brother. "I am going to acknowledge Matt as my son. Make it official."

A barely there twitch in Christian's jaw was followed by his mildly expectant gaze turning into a piercing stare. So much for a brotherly talk…

"He's growing up Christian. It was all fine while he was younger. There are plenty of other kids with dads who are more or less MIA around him. But I was on the phone with him last Monday and he referred to himself and to Mary as 'my dirty little secret'. He was right to be angry, he deserves better."

Before Elliot had finished speaking, Christian's brain had kicked into full working mode building a growing list of implications: Grey Construction, Katherine, Ava, Grace, the possible press interest that might extend into questioning the absence of his own son from the family circle. Some people would need to be forewarned to help with damage control: PR, legal, security… "How do you want to do this?" he eventually asked.

"All it takes is a notarized declaration signed by both me and Mary."

"And then?"

His hands rubbing circles around his temples, Elliot admitted: "I'll have to tell Kate." Standing up he started pacing through the relatively limited space. "If she chooses to leave me because of Matt…She might choose to not enforce the prenup, but I have to be prepared to lose half the company to her."

"Is this what you want, a divorce?"

"I don't know if I can make that relationship work anymore. I know I've done a lot of stupid shit and, well, it takes two to tango, but at this point I just don't know if I even want to try anymore."

"Elliot, I am the last person to give you advice on this subject."

"I know that," Elliot rolled his eyes. "It's not matrimonial advice I need. Up until this morning I thought the only issue I had was how to tell Kate about Matt. But since the name of the Commencement speaker at Teddy's graduation is now public, Kate is bound to find out you are going to be there. She is not stupid, Christian. It's a safe bet she won't believe it's a coincidence and figure out that you have found Teddy and Ana."

Since Katherine could not confront him about keeping the knowledge a secret without giving away her own involvement, Christian limited himself to a non-committal "So?"

"I am relieved that you are taking this so well, because I want to come clean with Kate. About everything," Elliot informed him.

Christian's nonchalant attitude instantly evaporated. "Define everything," he demanded.

"I want to tell her that I know about Ana and Teddy, that I know she has been in touch with them. I'll probably have to tell her that you have located them years ago."

"And how would discussing all of that with Katherine help anything?"

"If there is a chance to save our relationship we have to clean the air, Christian. Put all the cards on the table. No more secrets."

At Christian's raised eyebrow, Elliot, took a long deep breath then slowly released it: "Yes, that too. Not specifics, I hope, but, if she asks if there have been others than Mary, I'll tell her. She'll be pissed, or worse, I know that. If she doesn't already know, it will break her heart," Elliot's voice cracked, "but I can't risk her catching me in another lie."

"You are serious about this, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"I can see why you would choose to come clean about Matt, and possibly the rest. But I don't see why you need to bring Teddy into this."

"It's not just Kate, Christian. It's Ava as well. When I tell her that I have a son, her half-brother…"

"You think she'll judge you."

"It's more that I can't have the image she has of me chipped away bit by bit, lie by lie. I have no idea what is going to happen if Kate figures out we all know about Teddy. If Ava is to find out I have known where Teddy has been all this time, I'd rather she finds out from me."

"That sword cuts both ways, Elliot. Katherine would have to admit she has also known for a number of years."

"I'd still like to come clean, Christian. You asked all of us to keep your knowledge of Teddy and Anastasia's location a secret, so Kate could not alert Ana that you have found them. That point is now moot."

It was Christian's turn to have to collect his thoughts. For his brother's sake he had made a supreme effort to maintain at least the appearance of civility between himself and Katherine, but he knew Katherine had done more than just keep Ana's location a secret. If all their secrets were to come to light there was no telling how Grace or Mia or even Elliot would react. He had to contain this.

"Can you give me until after Teddy's graduation?" he asked

"Of course, but why?"

"For one, I'll know then what Teddy wants to do. If we're going to do this, at least then we can tell everybody that I have contacted him and what came out of it. Besides, there are a few things you need to take care of before you bring everything into the open."

"Like what?"

"Security and PR for Matt and Mary, and decide on what you want to do about Grey Construction," Christian said, once again in full working mode.

Elliot was about to protest but of course Christian was right. The probability of the press getting wind of his son was going to increase exponentially, especially if there was going to be a divorce. This was getting more complicated by the minute. Then he realized: "What do you mean what I want to do about Grey Construction?"

"Just what I said. Are you really prepared to share it with Katherine?"

"The prenup is ironclad, Christian. I have just confirmed that again tonight."

"The prenup only covers your ownership of Grey Construction."

"Exactly."

"And what happens if you don't own Grey Constructions anymore?"

"What do you mean if I don't own Grey Constructions?" The idea of no longer owning his company got Elliot's heart racing and his palms sweaty, a clear sign that he was not as prepared as he thought he was to part with it. And that, he suspected, was exactly why Christian had asked this question. He took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself. "Okay, Christian, you've made your point. I am far from ready to part with the company. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Mostly I wanted to know if you are prepared to hear me out."

"Hear you out?" Elliot asked still rattled from the surge of adrenaline.

Christian stared back, impassive mask on, but gray eyes burning. "You could take the company public. Issue an IPO for half the value of the company. Since you'll only own half the company all Katherine would be entitled to will be 25%."

"So instead of sharing control with Kate I will share it with a bunch of shareholders and a board of directors. How is that helpful?"

"It isn't", Christian acknowledged, "not unless you carefully choose the shareholders. I could invest about 50 million. That will give you another 25%. The rest will have to really go public, but you could buy it back in time. I estimate five to seven years. You'll have the hassle of quarterly reports and you'll have to be smart about choosing your board members, but between the two of us we'll retain control of half the shares, and therefore of the company."

The rapid fire information Christian had just rattled made Elliot's head spin. He had concentrated on finding a hole in the prenup but this was something entirely different. He shook his head. "You just came up with this?"

"No, it's something I have been looking into for a while, and there are a few drawbacks you should be aware of before you commit, but it's a way to keep your business."

Still coming to terms with the fact that he might not have to lose his company after all Elliot stared at his brother. "So, how would this play out? I'll have a GEH representative on the board or what?"

"This is not about GEH. The money will be from my private investments, so I'll transfer the votes to you. I'm not trying to take over your company, Elliot."

Since he had not even realized that would have been a possible outcome, Elliot swallowed, hard. He was out of his league here. And then it hit him: "You're basically going to give me 50 million?"

"Well I do expect you to pay dividends", Christian replied, and Elliot was not at all certain he wasn't serious.

Since her friends had no left, Samantha had retired to her room and was sprawled out on her king size bed tapping away on her laptop. With her father being Christian Grey everybody expected her to go into business. The fact was that she probably knew as much about how a business worked as many experienced CEOs, but her interest was elsewhere. Maths, numbers more exactly, was what fascinated her, and that's what she was going to study at Harvard. For now she was listening to a podcast of a first year course in calculus and making some notes to discuss with her tutor. Her concentration was interrupted by her phone vibrating with an incoming message.

'_**You still up?'**_

With a pang of guilt she remembered she had promised Ava to message her the moment Doyle left, so she paused the podcast and quickly typed: '_**Yes, sorry, they just left.'**_

'_**So?'**_

'_**You're good to go. He doesn't have anyone. **____**"**_

Her phone rang less than ten seconds later and for the next few minutes the two girls discussed plans to get Doyle, Ava's latest crush, to ask Ava out for the upcoming prom. With mission "get Doyle" ready to go, their thoughts moved on to what to wear.

"Maybe we could look for something this Saturday," Samantha suggested, after they had mutually nixed their existing wardrobes.

When Ava remained silent, Sam asked: "You are still coming, right?"

"I want to but…are you sure it's okay with Uncle Christian? I think he's still kind of pissed off about my birthday."

Samantha sighed. "Dad is still upset, but it's not as much with you as with the whole thing getting out of hand. I wish you would let me talk to him about Jackson."

"No, please Sam, you promised. I've learned my lesson, I promise."

"Okay, okay," Samantha calmed her cousin.

"I can't believe I won't be there for your first official ball," Ava returned to the reason they were going shopping. "Oh, do you have an outfit for the graduation?"

"Um, sort of. If I wear a skirt I'll have to wear heels, but I'll look like a giant next to grandma Grace."

"Possibly, but don't wear black trousers, it's just boring. Oh, what's grandma wearing? You don't want to match her but you can't look like you're from a different planet either."

"We could ask her Saturday," Sam said and then both girls fell quiet. Ava was only supposed to know that her uncle had been married before and had a son who was living with his mother and with whom he had not had any contact with since before his second marriage. Except that four years ago, Ava was looking for a pair of earrings in Sam's room and stumbled upon a picture of a sixteen years old Teddy. That night, with the two of them tucked under the duvet in the same bed she was lying on now, Sam had shared her secret, or rather her father's secret, with her cousin: Christian was regularly going to see Teddy and Grandma Grace and Uncle Elliot knew about it. Well aware of how much her mother and Uncle Christian disliked each other Ava had agreed to continue to keep the secret. After all Uncle Christian's first marriage, just like Grandpa Donald's illness, was a subject everybody went out of their way to avoid. "I'll ask her and let you know" Samantha sighed.

"Yeah," Ava acknowledged. "Hey, if you're going to go to the ball in Columbia, do you think you'll be at Coping Together this year?"

And off they went again, planning and dreaming and wondering 'what if', at the beginning of the summer that would spell the end of their childhood.


	16. Placeholder 3

This chapter is empty as the contents have been merged into the previous chapter


	17. Summer Storm Ch18 The best medical care

**AN: I hope you have all had a good week! Here we are, back in Rock Hill. On top of the mounting evidence that Christian has never really let go of them, more of Ana's past is coming back to haunt her.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch18 The best medical care

Ana was not a morning person, but on Tuesday morning, when her alarm went at 5.30, she couldn't get out of bed fast enough. It was the day for Emma's six month check-up and the hospital was in Charleston. This meant that for one day she could get out of Rock Hill and the turmoil that had become her life.

The awkwardness between her and Dan had lessened since Wednesday evening but she was left frustrated and short tempered. Mostly she was annoyed with herself, for being blind to all that was happening around her and for allowing herself to be manipulated by Ray and Kate and even by Christian. The thought that Christian had found a way to be a part of his son's life brought her some comfort but she was still undeniably torn between the guilt of having separated Eddy from his father and the hurt that Christian had chosen to stay away from his son even after he had found them. And she was getting paranoid: Thursday morning she had had so many questions for Miss Bowles, Emma's dance teacher, that the poor lady had thought she was questioning her credentials. But she just couldn't back off until she was satisfied that Miss Bowles had lived in Rock Hill and worked first as a physical therapist then opened her dance school several years before Emma's accident.

Saturday Linda, Cheryl Robinson and Ana had teamed to prepare the food for an evening of barbecued meats and cold beers in pleasant company. By four o'clock the three women were joined by Cheryl's husband, both Donells – Ana and Dan's immediate neighbours – and the Robinsons's and Donell's combined brood of five children under ten: normal people, with normal lives and no mention of over the top ex-husbands with dark secrets and more money in pocket change than the seven of them put together made in a month.

Then before the end of the weekend Ana and Dan sat down with Emma to discuss her plans for the future. Miss Bowles' advice had been that Emma was _'a good guitar player and a talented dancer, but this is in Rock Hill. For New York, for the schools Emma is looking into, the competition is fierce and, I have to be honest here Mrs Parson, I don't think she is quite that good. She does however have something else to offer the world of dancing.'_ The teacher seemed to believe that Emma had a real gift for choreography and possibly scenography. The dance for the end of the school year was entirely choreographed by Emma and was _'the most touching rendition of this song I have ever seen'_.

The meeting between Ana and the dance teacher had ended with a final piece of advice: _'Whatever she decides to do, if she is serious about getting into this industry, what Rock Hill has to offer is no longer sufficient. She should start attending some summer courses at one of the dance colleges and, ideally, she should look into attending a high school that specializes in dance and music. At the very least she should have extra lessons, a lot of extra lessons, from a professional tutor.'_

Once Ana had shared Miss Bowles opinion it had been her and Dan's turn to sit quietly and listen, both fascinated and touched by how much thought their daughter had already put into this subject. Emma was aware of Miss Bowles opinion and she did not outright discount it. She was also aware of some of her shortcomings as a dancer – _'I have no ballet training at all'_\- and she had looked up choreography and scenography alternatives, the closest being in Raleigh and the ideal one in New York. She had also pointed out that there was no point in even looking '_while I still don't know if my legs are going to be OK_.'

After the car accident they had been told that because the fractures affected the growth area of the bone, the right leg would remain several inches shorter than the left one. She would have a permanent limp, and a heavy one at that. Her surgeon was aware of a Dr Shepard, in Boston, who was working on a method to treat these types of fractures but the work was still experimental and their insurance had refused to even consider covering the costs. Then an infection had developed and the doctors were talking about amputation. The doctors in Charleston had agreed to give the antibiotics another 48 hours but after that Ana and Dan had been told it was time to make a decision. That weekend had been the worst two days in Ana's life but it had also been the turning point in Emma's recovery: Monday morning the colour in Emma's leg was finally getting closer to normal, proof that the antibiotics were working. The next day they were told that a place had become available on Dr Shepard's program, funded via his research grant. Ana and Dan had of course jumped at the chance and Emma had been transferred to Boston.

Ana had spent the next month by her daughter's side in Boston as she suffered through two further operations. They had been told that she would need to return to Boston for check-ups every month for at least one year and warned that she might need more surgery. She was also going to need physical therapy and a search for a suitable therapist closer to Rock Hill had started. All these were however insignificant details in face of the overwhelming relief at the news that not only will Emma keep her leg but there was a good chance she will only have a small limp and maybe none at all.

On their first trip back the cast was removed, all looked well and Dr Shepard had news for them: he had applied for certification in South Carolina since before Emma first arrived in Boston and he was confident that he was going to be able to see Emma in Charleston for future visits.

This Tuesday morning, almost six years later, watching Emma saunter down the steps and gracefully climb into the car, Ana thought that she could never adequately express her gratitude to the brilliant surgeon who had saved her little girl's leg.

They set off early, planning to have breakfast on the way, so when the blue and red IHOP sign came into sight, Ana asked: "IHOP OK with you?"

As this was the exact spot where they stopped every single time, all the answer she got was a giggle. Smiling, she switched lanes and found a parking spot in the already busy lot. Around mouthfuls of raspberry and peach pancake for Emma and berries and cream waffle for Ana the conversation turned to what they will be doing in Charleston after the appointment. Ana wanted to see Nick and that meant they had a few hours after the hospital visit, while waiting for him to go out of work.

"Oh, can we go shopping then?" asked Emma

"I suppose we could look into some of the stores. Do you have something in mind?"

"Not really, it's just that with Eddy's graduation everybody seems to make a big deal out of what they are going to wear. Jakes's mom has bought this designer outfit that cost a fortune! I mean they have more money than we do but she doesn't usually wear anything that expensive. At least that's what Mandy says."

Trying to sort out through the information her daughter had given her in just one breath, Ana shook her head: "Isn't that a little much for graduation? I mean of course everybody wears something nice but maybe she just bought it for something else."

"Well, I could do with a pair of trousers to go with my new blouse."

Ana rolled her eyes. "C'mon or we are going to be late. Traffic is going to get worse from here on."

She had already planned to take Emma shopping for a new pair of trousers. With the scars on her leg Emma rarely wore skirts and besides there was much more to choose from in Charleston than in Rock Hill. Maybe she would even find something for herself. It had been a little while since she had bought anything new.

They made it to Charleston half an hour early so they settled in the waiting area outside Dr Shepperd's office leafing through magazines with Emma commenting on the latest fashion trends.

"Emma Parson! What a coincidence! Darling, come so I introduce you to the girl to whom we owe our meeting." Boomed Dr Shepard's voice in the otherwise empty room.

Ana lifted her head to see the broad figure of the doctor and next to him the slender one of an elegant, blonde woman, a well-manicured hand resting lightly on his arm, a large diamond ring sparkling on her finger. In the second or so it took her to stand up Emma had already jumped out of her seat and was shaking hands with the doctor.

"Hello Dr Shepard." Ana said extending her hand.

"Mrs Parson, how are you? I can see Emma has not lost any of her enthusiasm over the past six months. May I introduce you to my wife, Harriet."

The two women shook hands a little unsure as to why the doctor had introduced them.

Noticing the awkwardness he chuckled: "Silly old man" he mumbled then addressing his wife: "Emma is the patient for whom I moved from Boston." Then addressing Ana he continued: "Harriet used to work at the hospital and this week we are celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary. So you see, we owe our meeting to Emma." He beamed at all three of them.

"Congratulations," offered Ana.

"Thank you." Replied Harriet Shepard and then turning towards her husband "I'll leave you to your consultation. Do we still meet for lunch?"

"Yes, of course. Emma will have to go for an x-ray and I believe you prefer to wait for the results?" The last part was addressed to Ana.

"Yes, if you don't mind, Dr Shepard."

"Not at all." Then once again speaking to his wife: "You can meet me back here if you want or I can come and find you?"

"Back here is fine; I might use your office to make a few phone calls if it's free." Then extending her hand to Ana: "It was nice meeting you; I hope your daughter will be well." She nodded to Emma and then turned and left, leaving a trail of expensive perfume in her wake.

"Well, shall we?" said the doctor and led them to his office.

Emma reassured the doctor that she had not had any trouble with her leg and then he proceeded with a very thorough examination of her ankle and knee. As he had for every appointment he snapped a few pictures of Emma's legs and then sat in his chair behind the desk.

"Mrs Parson, Emma, everything looks very well and if the xray confirms that Emma's bone has now finished growing I can discharge her from this program."

"Dr Shepard, I can never thank you enough for what you have done for Emma." Said Ana with a wide smile.

"Thank you, I am happy that the result was this good. As it has been some time since you had first signed the consent forms, could I just check that you are still agreeing for Emma's case to be included in my research article? Her name will of course not appear in the published documents but pictures of her leg will."

"You are going to write about me? That's so cool!"

With a smile for her daughter Ana asked: "Of course you have our consent. Is your research concluded then?"

"No, not yet, but the results are so far very encouraging. The sponsor for this research will attend a charity event at the end of the month and I am going to present him with a partial report to ensure his continued support."

"I hope you get it." Said Ana. "If there is anything we can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask. If you think it would help for Emma to meet your sponsor, explain to them what your work has meant for her and for her life, I am sure Emma would be happy to do it."

"Thank you Mrs Parson. My sponsor has asked for his name to be kept confidential, but I will keep your offer in mind. Now young lady, let's get you to the x-ray and then hopefully this is the last you'll see of me."

An hour later, after the x-ray and a quick lunch in one of the patient cafeterias, Ana and Emma, still on cloud nine at the good news, were back in the waiting room outside the doctor's office. Emma settled in an armchair with headphones in her ears and Ana soon lost herself in the book she had brought with her.

Neither had paid attention to the open door to the doctor's office until Harriet Shepard's voice filled the silence:

"Hello Renee, it's Harriet."

…

"It went well. And Georgina Raskin was there as well so I have asked her for an invitation for you for the 29th."

…

"Oh, don't worry about that. You'll come with me and Robert and I can introduce you to Christian Grey."

Ana had not meant to listen, but when she heard his name she could not stop herself from lifting her eyes from the book.

…..

"So what if he is fifty? Have you seen him? He is incredibly good looking! Even if he wasn't, he is rich beyond belief and most importantly he is single."

…..

"Of course they will" Harriet laughed. "Jenna McCoy and Louise Randall have even got themselves invitations for the graduation ceremony! Jenna knows the dean so she hopes to be introduced then. Oh and Victoria Fawlkes has booked a room in his hotel. She was fuming that she couldn't have a suite but apparently he has reserved both presidential suites at the Hilton and the whole floor below them!"

Ana resisted the temptation to shake her head. Some things never changed. If they only knew what Christian really liked!

…..

"Yes, but you have me. I have planned everything. I even have a dress in mind for you: blue to match your eyes. Sexy but not slutty, I think you'll love it. The blue of the dress and your dark hair will contrast so well with your pale skin!"

Ana could feel herself getting angrier with every word of that little speech. Her imagination supplied the image of a petite brunette with big blue eyes, in an elegant evening gown showing off her curves, shaking hands with him. She bit her lip. It was none of her business with whom he did and did not shake hands.

….

"No, you are right. The rumour is that he is very private and doesn't like to chit chat. Victoria has met him before, in New York, and says he only discussed business the whole evening. So when Robert goes to thank him for his support for his research then you could talk about the hospital and the patients that he helps."

If there was something else said after that Ana did not hear it. Her heart started a rapid drum against her chest and she had to make an effort to take even a shallow breath. She tried to tell herself that she was just being silly, like she had done with Miss Bowles: this was not Rock Hill, Emma was not his child.

"Are you all right?" a male voice was asking

She focused her eyes on the concerned face of Dr Shepard.

"I… I'm sorry, yes I am."

"Are you sure? You look a little pale."

"I'm sure" she nodded. "Um, are Emma's x-rays OK?"

"Yes they are. As I thought her distal tibia physis is now closed. This means the bone in her leg is not growing anymore and there is no longer a reason to fear that her legs will end up being of different lengths."

Her mental faculties slowly returning Ana rose from her chair. "So this is good then?"

"Yes, Mrs Parson, it's very good. It means that I can now discharge Emma from my care."

"Oh, thank you Dr Shepard! Emma, did you hear that?" she turned to her daughter.

Emma had a wide grin on her face: "This is it then? I'll be fine forever?"

"Yes, you will." He laughed. "But you'll have to take care of my handy work!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Emma shouted and threw her arms around the broad frame of the doctor.

"Robert, here you are!" said Hariett coming out from his room.

Ana knew it was time to go but she just could not bring herself to walk away.

"Dr Shepard, would it be possible to have a minute in private?" she asked.

She could see the slight frown on his face and hurried to add: "I just have one question, it won't take long."

"Of course" he said and stepped back from Emma's embrace. "If you would follow me."

"Emma, can you wait here please, I won't be long." Ana said and followed the doctor into his office.

As soon as they were seated he told her: "I think I know what this is about Mrs Parson: the scars on Emma's leg."

Ana had been focusing on how to ask about Christian and the doctor's question took her by surprise. As she didn't reply the doctor continued: "Cosmetic surgery could make a big difference in their appearance. I can recommend somebody for an opinion but I have to tell you that it would probably be quite expensive."

"Yes, thank you, we would certainly like to look into it. Emma is self-conscious about the scars." Ana answered, then she took a deep breath: "Dr Shepard, you mentioned that you have moved here from Boston for Emma. But surely you already had patients in Boston. Did they have to come all the way here to see you?"

"Yes, they did, but all the travel costs for them and their families were covered as part of the research. You don't need to feel guilty about this Mrs Parson!"

The tears filling Ana's eyes were not out of guilt for all the other families that had had to travel to see the doctor. They were due to the growing certainty that Christian had had something to do with the exceptional care her daughter had received.

"Dr Shepard, I realize that this is an odd question but it is important for me to know: did he, your sponsor I mean, did he ask you to move here?"

The question was indeed as odd as the request had been. Richard Shepard's memory of his encounter with Christian Grey was still vivid after six years.

_Grey had been waiting for him in front of his office at Boston's Children Hospital. Tall, dressed in a tailor made business suit, straight spine, direct eye contact, assured stride and firm hand shake: everything about him screamed money, power and determination. The reason for his visit was to make him aware of the case of Emma Parson and to make him an offer: unlimited funding for his research including funds for patients to be transported from out of state. In exchange for his support he had two requests: his involvement was to be kept strictly confidential and the doctor had to relocate to Charleston. _

_The half hour he had spent talking to Christian Grey had been a demonstration in what "prepared for a meeting" meant. No wonder the man was one of the most successful business men in the country: he had had an answer to every single one of his objections. His existing patients in Boston – there would be funding for their trips to Charleston for as long as required even for the ones not included in the research; licensing in Southern Carolina – Grey had the blank forms with him; privileges at MUSC – Grey had names and contact numbers for three board members who were going to be in touch in the following days and extend him an invitation; the hassle of relocating – Grey had presented him with a business card with a single name, Sarah, a telephone number and an email address. No aspect had been left uncovered and he had been given 24 hours to make a decision. _

_His research needed funding and needed patients suffering from a rather rare condition. Grey had offered him the funds and the possibility to treat patients from all over the country and also provided him with invaluable logistic support: 'Sarah', he had learned, was available via telephone or email 24/7 and was there to take care of any administrative hassle – application forms, arranging his move from Boston, any costs related to the research…_

_So he had accepted the offer, used 'Sarah' to help with the paperwork and mundane tasks and had stifled his curiosity as to why Grey was so interested in this particular patient. Six years and close to ten million dollars later he had treated fifteen patients. Most of them were still in their growth period but three were confirmed success stories, including Emma Parson._

As long as he kept his name out of the conversation he could see no harm in confirming that he had indeed moved at the request of his sponsor.

"Yes, Mrs Parson, he did."

Tears were now running over her cheeks. Her lips started quivering and her hand rose to her mouth before a sob could escape. Puzzled he handed her the box of tissues.

"Mrs Parson, really, there is no need-" he started, trying to reassure her, but stopped when she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I will be fine. I'm just surprised. I never thought of that, of why you would move here." With a shuddering breath she brought herself under control and wiped her tears: "Thank you, for telling me. When I said earlier that I would do anything I could to support your research, I really meant it. There is something I think you should know: I overheard a conversation while we were waiting for you." She straightened up in the chair and looked directly at him: "I heard that you plan to meet him and thank him at the ball at the end of the month. If Christian Grey" her voice trembled saying the name, "has asked for his name to be kept confidential, he would not appreciate anybody but you knowing of his involvement."

"How do you…I never said…" Dr Sheppard stuttered then paused. He frowned, his lips pursing: he had only mentioned Christian Grey to his wife and only once, when he had realized he would be present at the charity ball.

"Please, forgive me, Dr Shepard, the last thing I want is to cause any problems. But I really think you shouldn't let him know that you have told anyone of his involvement. Perhaps you could send your report to him by other means. He'll have security with him; maybe you could leave it with one of them." Ana rushed her words, hoping she will not cause trouble in the doctor's marriage but convinced his wife's indiscretion could cause him to loose Christian's support.

Dr Shepard sat back in his chair and took a long assessing look at the woman seated across from him. What she had just said about Christian Grey hinted that she was familiar with him and of course he knew Grey had a particular interest in her daughter.

"I don't suppose you could tell me how come Mr Grey became involved in your daughter's case, Mrs Parson?"

"I'm sorry, but no, I can't." She rose from her chair "Emma must be wondering what kept me so long."

With a hand shake and after thanking him again for all his help she closed the door behind her, leaving him wondering again just what was the connection between her and Grey. But first things first: he needed to have a word with his wife.

**AN Next chapter: Ana's reaction to this new revelation about Christian's involvement in her life**


	18. Summer Storm Ch19 The end of the road

**AN: Before real life and the family get to me on this chilly January morning, I thought I'd share with you what Ana made of her encounter with the good Dr Shepard. Your thoughts and comments are as always eagerly awaited.** **Oh, I am going to re upload a few chapters during the weekend. No major changes, just a word here and there. I am not sure if this will trigger an email alert for those of you who follow the story so I just wanted to let you know.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 19 The end of the road

Outside the doctor's office Harriett Shepard was leaning against the reception counter: elegant and self-assured, her manicured hand resting on the top, diamond glistening on her finger. It was a vision from a world Ana had left behind her many years ago and she had never regretted leaving that world. The politics, the intrigues, the race to shine through displays of wealth or connections - some found that stimulating, exciting even, but not her.

Her eyes were drawn to movement on her left where Emma was standing up from her chair and her gaze shifted to Emma's legs. Money had paid for that. Guilty thoughts echoed in the back of her mind. She had known Christian had been involved in several charities; she had accompanied him and watched him sign cheques for various causes. But she had been too caught up in her own life, in her own problems, to get more involved. Combined with her reluctance to spend what she saw as his money, this meant that even when someone had contacted her directly the most she had ever done was to direct them to somebody else. Some woman's name teased her memory. A woman she had never met, never taken the time to get to know or even speak with…

Emma's voice brought her back to the present.

"…wrong?"

"Sorry, Emma, can you say that again?"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes. Yes it is. Come, I have promised we could go shopping." Ana said, her voice lacking conviction.

Her feet carried her forward to the bank of elevators at the end of the corridor. Her brief attempt to keep her body busy and her mind away from the discussion with the doctor was defeated by the small enclosed space of the elevator. In her current state the forced inaction increased the mounting anxiety and as soon as the ping announced that they had arrived at the ground floor she rushed through the doors, her eyes frantically looking for the sign indicating a toilet.

"Mom, where-"

"Toilet" is all she could muster. Luckily it was enough. Emma didn't ask anything more, just informed her that "I'll wait outside" and then she was alone inside the small cubicle.

A few tears ran down her cheeks, turning into a steady stream before the sobs were torn out of her tight chest. Christian had taken care of Emma! All the revelations from the previous week, all he did for Eddy, for his son, had been through charities and anonymous donations and money was something he had in spades. For Emma though he didn't just pay for her treatment. He had taken the time to get personally involved. And he didn't just arrange for treatment either. From hearing Grace talk about how difficult it was to recruit doctors, she knew that beyond the usual hassle of moving, Dr Shepard would have had to go through a formal application process to work in a different state and he would have had to have been offered the position at the hospital by the hospital board. Christian, she was convinced, had pulled quite a few strings to get him moved from Boston to MUSC. What broke through all of the barriers Ana had built around her heart was the realization that Emma could have been treated in Boston. Christian had gone through all that trouble just so her own life would be easier, more convenient: after all this time she was still his to look after and to take care of.

Love, regret, guilt, confusion and a deep seated longing she was not ready to name or even acknowledge engulfed her, overwhelmed her, and left her sobbing her heart out.

She eventually emerged from the small cubicle to find Emma leaning against the counter with the row of sinks, a frown on her face, her lips pursed. With a pang of guilt she marched herself to the nearest sink and washed her face before facing her daughter.

"Mom, what's wrong? What did you and Dr Shepard talk about? If something's wrong I have a right to know!"

"Oh, Emma, sweetheart," Ana said, her arms wrapping around her daughter and drawing her in a tight embrace, "nothing's wrong. Your leg is fine, it really is fine. I'm just overwhelmed, that's all. How about we get to those shops? Nick is not going to be free until about four or four thirty so that gives us three hours to go clothes shopping."

"Really? I mean, if you're sure you're OK."

With one more look into the mirror, one hand quickly combing through her hair, Ana smiled at her daughter: "Yes, really. Is there anywhere in particular you'd like to go?"

Her eyes shining with anticipation, Emma answered:"Tanger Outlet."

"OK, but first let's tell your dad the good news."

"I'll text him from the car!"

The mall was only a few minutes' drive from the hospital complex and it didn't take long for Ana to start suspect that Emma had a hidden agenda. Her daughter kept dragging her into shop after shop, insisting that she tries on dresses and skirts that were quite different from Ana's usual style of demure and plain outfits, designed to cover her body rather than show it off. Emma didn't seem satisfied with anything she had had her try in the first few shops but when they arrived at Sacks Off 5th, her face lit up with renewed enthusiasm. In a few minutes she picked up three dresses and handed them to Ana: "Will you try these on?"

"Emma, really, I thought we were shopping for you. I don't need any clothes."

"Mom, seriously, did you hear a word I said? Eddy's graduation is going to be a big deal; everybody is going to really dress up. Besides Eddy is going to wear that new suit and I have a new blouse, you should also have something nice."

"Well, I'll wear something nice out of what is already in my wardrobe."

"Please, mom, just try these on. For me?"

With a sigh and a shake of her head Ana went to change, again, into an outfit picked by her daughter. The first dress was deep blue and form fitting, a bit too much so for her conservative taste. The second was a patterned blue and white shift dress, not too clingy and ending just above her knees. She had to admit it looked nice.

She studied her image in the mirror: her skin was slightly tanned, her hair had grown a little and needed trimming, the little make-up she had worn in the morning had been washed out by the tears. Under the harsh light of the changing room she noticed how dull her skin looked and a few fine lines at the corner of her eyes. Carla had commented on it when they had last met: '_you need to take better care of yourself, darling. My skin looks better than yours and I am twenty years older_.' The words had hurt her feelings then and she had put them out of her mind, but now, seeing her reflected image, she had to admit there was some truth in them.

Unbidden a snippet of the conversation she had overheard echoed in her mind '_I even have a dress in mind for you: blue to match your eyes. Sexy but not slutty-_'. And just like that her mind was made up: whatever she was going to wear for the graduation it was not going to be blue. She got out of the dress as quickly as she could and turned to the next one. This one was beige with buttons all the way down the front, ending in an uneven hem, rolled up sleeves…simple and feminine. A little self-conscious she opened up the curtain to model for her daughter.

"Wow, mom, it looks really good. All you need is some heels to go with it!"

"Emma, this dress is almost eighty dollars!"

"Oh, c'mon mom, how long is it since you last bought something for yourself?"

Ana turned around and raised on her toes a little to mimic higher heels. She had to concede that Emma was right: wearing higher heels was going to make quite a difference. It had been a while since she had bought anything for herself and she could wear this dress at the office, not just at graduation, she reasoned.

After buying a pair of nude pumps for herself and the trousers Emma wanted, they were finally done shopping and on their way to meet Nick.

Thirty minutes later, seated in a booth in the restaurant Nick had suggested, Ana was looking over the menu, while Emma was fidgeting, obviously impatient.

"Nick, over here!" she waved at her big brother the second he set foot through the door.

He reached their table in three long strides, a wide grin on his face: "Hi, squirt!"

"Don't call me squirt!"

"Hi, mom. How was the visit, what did the doctor say?" He said sitting down next to Emma.

Ana looked at him with pride and affection. He looked like he had come straight from work and the idea that her son was now a grown man with a job and responsibilities still filled her with a little wonder. And with a mother's worry: "Hi Nick, I'm so glad you could meet with us. You won't get into trouble at work, will you?"

"No, mom, it's OK. I do enough overtime as it is. So? How was it?"

"Hey, I'm here and it's my leg. You could ask me, you know." Emma protested.

"Ok. Ok." Nick raised his hands in surrender. "How is your leg?"

"It's fine. Dr Shepard said I have finished growing so I don't have to go back anymore." She beamed at her brother.

"Oh, wow, that's really good news! I'm so happy for you!"

Nick embraced his sister and then loosened his tie a little. "Do you mind if we order? I've skipped lunch and I'm starving." He looked around and waved at the waiter hovering by the other end of the room. Frowning, Ana picked up the menu and scanned it one more time. Given how early it was the restaurant was mostly empty so the waiter stood by patiently until they were done choosing their meals.

"Nick, you look a little tired. Are you working too much?" Ana asked when the waiter had left.

"No, mom. But it's been busy, which is good. It's been a little quiet since the beginning of the year but we've picked up two new contracts and we might even need a couple of interns over the summer to help with the orders."

"So it's just work that's kept you busy then?" Emma chimed.

"What do you mean?" Nick asked, but the slight blush on his cheeks betrayed him before Emma could probe any further.

"Uh, I don't know" Emma faked thinking hard. "I thought maybe the trip to Columbia last weekend might have something to do with it."

The blush was more than just a hint now when he mock-growled at her: "And just how do you know about that little Miss PI?"

Emma tried to assume a serious air but ended up giggling: "I'm afraid my sources are confidential."

Ana had watched the banter between her children without interrupting, but this was news for her: "I didn't know you've been to Columbia. How was Eddy? He sounded a little stressed when I spoke with him. And he didn't mention you were there."

"He was fine, just busy with finals. I think he has his last exam tomorrow."

Nick didn't have time to say anything else before the food was placed in front of them and he started tugging in.

"You know you should come home more often to some of mom's food." Emma commented. With a glint in her eye she added: "You might find that Rock Hill has some of the same attractions Columbia does. I am reliably informed one such attraction will be there this weekend."

Nick stopped with his fork mid-air. Ana frowned. Emma giggled and started on her own food.

"Emma, what are you talking about?" Ana asked

"Carol-Ann: she's coming home this Friday. Family stuff. But that will be over by eight because Jake will be meeting Mandy by then." Emma said not stopping for breath.

Realization dawned on Ana: that's why Nick had been in Columbia! She couldn't help the smile spreading from her lips to her eyes: "Have you heard from her? Did she get the award?"

"No she didn't." said Nick. "That Grey guy, he really seems to be making some weird decisions. I have a friend who works for Detyens. They have been in talks with GEH for months and then Friday before last the GEH rep gave them a 'Regretfully this opportunity does not align with our current business plan. We thank you for your time and wish you well' speech and just up and left."

Nick shook his head. "Richard, my friend, had to take the GEH team to a 'no hard feelings' dinner. That's where he found out that the project had been approved by the GEH COO but Grey himself nixed it: no explanation or anything. Just told them to pull out."

Ana found it difficult to listen to Nick's tale. His first words had made her feel defensive and now she was resentful of that feeling. In the privacy of the bathroom at the hospital she had been overwhelmed with gratitude and a comforting feeling of being taken care of. Through her weakened defences she had had a glimpse of a secret hope buried deep inside of her, but at this table, where she sat sharing a meal with two of her children, there was no place for Christian Grey and his larger than life persona. The 'what if' that was nagging at her, taking her breath away and making her heart beat faster, was not only ridiculous in the harsh light of reality but also totally inappropriate.

"Nick, he probably had his reasons. I'm sorry Carol-Ann didn't get the award," she said. "But that reminds me: graduation is on a Thursday. We have all assumed that you will be there but can you get the time off work?"

"Yes, of course I'll be there, I wouldn't miss it for anything. I still can't believe my little brother is going to Harvard!"

Their meal finished, Ana and Emma had to start on the drive home. With her mind still preoccupied trying to process her emotions from the afternoon, Ana was grateful when Emma asked to be allowed to drive.

She sat back leaning her head against the head rest while more questions kept invading her peace of mind. Christian getting a doctor to move from another state just so she didn't have to put up with the travel was beyond compassionate and beyond thoughtful: it was a deeply caring gesture and it was for her. After the way she had deceived him, he still cared, still took care of her. The aching sorrow that their love for each other had not been enough was gripping and twisting her heart with a strength it had not had since the early days of their separation.

Since the talk with Kate she had thought over and over about what she would have done had she been able to talk to Christian before the divorce. The truth was that in the end he had needed the extreme dominance of the BDSM. That last image she had of him striding out of the elevator, determined, stone faced, ordering the kneeling woman to do his bidding, that's what had made her run from him. The longing to be his, to give herself to him, was how their relationship had started and a need she satisfied in the playroom. But if their compromise with her submission limited to the scenes in the playroom was no longer enough for him, the fear that she would give in and in the process loose herself, loose her identity, had terrified her.

The silence from everybody else had been hurtful and the belief that she had lost all of them had made it easier to leave Seattle. But waiting to see if Christian will contact her had been the true agony, torn as she was between hope and fear that he will not let her go. In the end she had above all run from herself, from that longing to belong to him. And she had taken with her the best part of him: her happy little boy with his carefree smile, his innocent curiosity, his happy and loving nature. She had watched him grow into the man Christian might have been without his troubled, tortured childhood.

Her eyes darted to the scenery outside. She could no longer bear to sit still in the chair. She had to get out! She was barely able to keep the anxiety from showing in her voice when she asked: "Emma can you please take the next exit?"

"Sure, did I do something wrong?"

"No, honey, you didn't, I just need to stretch my legs."

A few minutes later she could finally get out of the car at a BP gas station.

"I'll just get some water. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll wait here."

With a nod to her daughter Ana got out of the car and hurried into the small shop. She let her eyes roam over the colourful packages in the aisle and waited for her heart beat to slow down. What had she done? She and Ray, what had they done? She reached out to support herself on one shelf, the hard edge biting into the palm of her hand.

"Anabelle . My name is Anabelle ." She told herself time and time again, the mantra she had had to repeat in the early days of her name change. It didn't help. In an effort to reconnect to her present she tried to conjure Dan's face: his gentle brown eyes, his easy going manner not making any demands of her, letting her have her way, have her breathing space and her peace. Instead of that however the image in her mind was of steel grey eyes, piercing, serious, demanding: 'What do you want Anastasia?'.

She finally caved: there was nowhere left to run, nowhere to turn. "You. I want you." She whispered, the longing too strong to keep silent.

She only caught a glimpse of the grey eyes softening, as they had so often done when she had uttered the same response, before the feel of a hand on her arm and a male voice pulled her back into the gas station to where the edge of the shelf was cutting into the palm of her hand.

Lifting her eyes she stared uncomprehending into the stranger's face, the image of the grey eyes first hard then soft still lingering in her memory. She had found her answer, she knew what she wanted: the hard and the gentle stare, she wanted them both, craved them both, needed them both and the man behind the stare was still the only one that had ever ignited that spark in her, that fire that made her feel alive.

She watched the lips of the stranger in front of her move but the words were drowned by the sound of the blood rushing through her ears. When her knees buckled the grip on her arm tightened and became almost painful. She turned her head to look at the hand then let her eyes trail the length of the arm, to the torso. He was wearing some kind of uniform. Her surroundings slowly coming back into focus she remembered: gas station. Her eyes reached his face and this time his words were clear, as was the worry in his voice:

"Are you ill? Should I call an ambulance?"

She shook her head. "No."

Her mouth was dry and her voice was croaky. "Water. Just some water please."

He let go of her arm and took a step back and finally she straightened up from where she had been bending at the waist. Her eyes fell onto the windows and the parking lot beyond, the car and Emma waiting for her. Stronger now she repeated more clearly: "Could I have some water please? A bottle of sparkling mineral water if you have it."

"Sure, this way." The gas station clerk walked away slowly and Ana mechanically followed him.

After paying the clerk, with the water bottle in one hand and her other hand still on the door handle, in the brief moment it took for her vision to adjust from the bright lit store to the darkness outside she finally accepted that she had to stop running. Instead of the hurried panicked stride into the store or the hesitant almost shuffling walk on her way out, her feet now carried her with measured steps, steady and firm. She had a lot of thinking to do, a letter to write and a confession to make. And she also had to talk to Dan. Tonight.

**AN: to follow: how do you tell your current husband that you kind of sort of pine for your previous one and what does he make of it**


	19. Summer Storm Ch20 Aftermath

** AN: Well yesterday was interesting: what does one do when Fanfiction is down? I can tell you what not to do: manically keep clicking refresh every 15 minutes to see if it's back up. LOL **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 20 Aftermath

Saturday morning the only Parson not present at breakfast was Eddy. He was supposed to help for a few hours at the legal practice where he had worked for the past two years but then Mr Ellis, the partner who had hired him and had not only given him a stellar reference for Harvard but also arranged for him to start an internship with an acquaintance of his in Boston, had said that he needed to speak with him. Mr Ellis was not available until late in the afternoon so Eddy had decided he would just spend the weekend getting a head start on packing before the move home the following week.

Soon after breakfast the family scattered: Dan and Nick to the gym, Ana to the hairdresser with Linda while Emma waved them all away with a 'don't worry about me, when will you be back?'

As soon as Emma had gone up to her room after the trip to Charleston, Ana had told Dan about Christian's involvement in their daughter's care and the aftermath of that conversation was still casting a shadow on their family life.

"_He paid for her treatment? Why would he do that, she's not his child?"_

"_He didn't just pay for her treatment, Dan. He funded, still funds, the whole research program. It's what he does, who he is. If he found out she was hurt, badly injured, he wouldn't let her suffer just because she is not his."_

"_Wait a minute, if he funds the whole program then it's not just for Emma, is it?"_

"_No, it's not just for Emma." Ana had taken a deep breath and had plunged into the most disturbing part of the conversation. Holding fast to her resolution to stop running she had admitted: "But it's not for all the other children either. It's for me. He offered to fund the research if Dr Shepard agreed to move from Boston to Charleston."_

She had told Dan that despite everything, despite taking care of her and her children in his unique way, Christian had moved on. _'What Christian wants, Christian gets, Dan. All of this, everything he has done, was years ago. If he had wanted me he would have come after me. He knows that I am not what he needs'_. That last sentence had resulted in a stone faced Dan silently starring back at her and she had finally confessed that all the ups and downs and startling revelations of the past few weeks had brought back feelings and thoughts she had not dwelled on since she had left Seattle. _'I ran away then and never looked back, never even tried to process any of it. I know I have to stop running.'_

Mercifully Dan had not pressed the issue any further but getting ready for bed that evening had proved awkward. Her relationship with Dan had always been more at the 'friends with benefits' end of the spectrum, but with her thoughts consumed by Christian and her unresolved feelings towards him, the idea of sharing another man's bed or intimate space even in a platonic way felt wrong. In the end she had asked for time to process all that had happened and went to sleep in the guest room. Dan had not tried to stop her, but before she left the bedroom he had called after her: _'I don't want to lose you Belle. What we have might not be perfect, but it's our life.'_

Wednesday she had returned home from work to an empty house. Dan arrived soon after her and the memory of the carefree dance from the previous week haunted both of them so she offered to dance. Dan had declined and instead, with graduation only a week away and so much new information about Christian's involvement in their lives, they sat down to talk about what exactly they were going to tell Eddy and when. They agreed Emma and Nick should not be part of that initial talk so the plan was to take Eddy out Saturday, after he had moved back home for the summer.

Emma had returned from her dance lesson to find both her parents quiet and moody and by Thursday afternoon she had followed Ana in the small space that served as laundry room and asked her if she and Dan were having a fight. With Dan's easy going nature, their quiet content life in a small town and without the emotions of a passionate relationship getting in the way, the Parson's had had few fights and for the most part managed to keep their disagreements away from their children, so Ana sleeping in a different room and the moody, brooding silence had not gone unnoticed. Ana's priority had been to reassure her daughter that it was not as much a fight as she had some things to work through, but realizing how her unresolved past was upsetting her daughter added to her seemingly endless list of regrets.

So although she had been looking forward to her day out with Linda the thoughts and feelings battling inside her dampened her enthusiasm. Luckily the noisy salon did not allow for much conversation and the lunch at a small café on the high street was mostly spent listening to Linda's vivid retelling of the latest dramas in the offices of the First National Bank where she worked as PA to the branch director.

Dan and Nick arrived home just a few minutes after Linda dropped off Ana and their ears were immediately assaulted by the loud music blaring from Emma's room.

"What the…" Dan started saying and then looked puzzled at his son.

"I'll go check, I need to go upstairs anyway." Said Nick.

Dan nodded and with a last look towards the first floor he headed to his bedroom to drop off his gym bag. The sight of his good suit spread out on the bed and Belle standing in front of the open doors of their wardrobe, one hand on her hip and the other pushing hangers one by one to one side stopped him in the doorway.

"Belle?"

"Oh, Dan, you're home. I took out your suit, I thought I'd send it to the cleaners but, um, you have not worn it in a while…" she let her voice trail.

The uneasiness between them in the past few days had time after time created these kind of situations were one or both were left not knowing what to say. Dan stepped into the bedroom and dropped the bag to the floor then went to sit at the foot of the bed.

"Belle" he said then patted the spot beside him, "can you sit with me for a moment."

A little unsure Ana nevertheless sat down and waited for him to speak: she owed him that much.

"This feels nice," he said after a moment and then explained: "just sitting like this, together. Are you all right?"

"Oh, Dan, I should ask you that. I'm sorry for all of this, I just…" she stopped not really knowing what to say.

"You and I Belle, we both had – have - luggage we carry around. We knew that when we met, I just didn't know that much about yours. Perhaps I should have asked more but I was mostly grateful that you accepted mine and didn't ask or expect more than I could give you. I think what I am trying to say is that I can do the same for you. Next week, the graduation and then talking to Eddy and whatever happens after that, it's going to be a rough ride, you know that, right?"

Unsure of what Dan was really trying to say, all Ana could do was nod.

Dan reached out and took her hand in his and gave it a little squeeze. "We can still be there for each other Belle. We still have a family together."

Dan stopped talking and looked at her expectantly and she looked back at him, perhaps for the first time really seeing him: the man whose heart had been shattered in a moment of mindless, pointless, violence and never mended; the companion with whom she had shared good times and some difficult times and who had become her best friend worthy of her trust and affection; the father who had helped raise three children. Images from their family life flitted through her mind: Dan wrestling on the floor with both boys while a very young Emma was jumping up and down clapping her hands; Dan wading through water that was only waist deep, his hands supporting Emma's belly while he was coaching her through her first attempt at swimming; Dan and her presenting a united front confronting a teacher about some misdemeanour one of the kids had committed; Dan lifting his hands off the saddle of a bicycle and watching with pride the back of the child that kept going unaware he had let go.

The vague image of the back of a child's head, light brown curly hair in disarray, quickly disappearing down the street somehow blended with another memory of the same brown curls on a smaller head. Chubby legs pedalling with all their might on a tricycle, a man's arm reaching out to stop him but then raising to thread long fingers through dishevelled copper locks, concerned grey eyes turning to her with a question…

The enormity of what she had done, of just how much she had taken away from both the father and the son finally hit her with the unyielding brutality of a block of concrete. Her tentative smile faded and a choked sob escaped her lips when her chest constricted squeezing the air out of her lungs.

"I took that away from him, from them. What we have: our family, the children, raising them, he never got a chance to share this, to be a part of this. I took his son away from him and I took his father away from Eddy!"

Uncertain where that statement fit in their conversation, Dan was taken by surprise at the intensity of the feelings that were obviously tearing her apart. His instinct was to reach out to her but the ill-defined state of their relationship made him unsure of whether it was the right thing to do.

"Hey, we've been through this before. He had a choice as well, maybe not when you left but later on, he had a choice. "

Dan's words and the hold he had on her hand helped her tame the waves of guilt that were threatening to drown her. She drew a shuddering breath and felt the air filling her lungs and the oxygen flowing through her body chasing the numbness that had spread through her.

"I know, I know." She closed her eyes then opened them again and this time her gaze was filled with warm gratitude. "Dan, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of this." she waved a hand to indicate the room and the house around them.

"Belle, sweetheart," he said and this time pulled on her hand and drew her closer until their shoulders touched. He reached out and without letting go of her right hand reached out and grabbed the other one as well. "Me and Nick, we were kind of lost when you found us. I was doing my best but without you in our lives, I don't know if that would have been enough. You pushed him, and me, to be more, to want more from our lives. You made a home for us, all of us, and we have Emma. This is more than I thought possible for me after I lost Jane." The sadness he always felt when he thought of his first wife temporarily clouded his eyes giving them a distant, faraway look.

"I did?" asked Ana with a small voice, overwhelmed by her insight in just how much she had taken away from Christian.

Serious, earnest, Dan squeezed her hands: "Yes, you did. You fought for the children to do well in school, to do all that extra stuff like sports and music and languages. Your enthusiasm for your work, your fights for your ideas, the way you turned Emma's struggles after the accident into something that would benefit so many other children…It might have been his money, but it was your idea and your fight. And your spirit pushed me as well to do more, to achieve more. I would have still been a mechanic if you hadn't pushed me to go talk to Marty." Dan stopped or a moment searching her eyes. Whatever he saw gave him the confidence to continue: "We make a good team you and I. If you need some space, if you need for us to take a step back, I can give you that. But we can still be a team, be partners."

"Thank you Dan, yes, I'd like that." Ana said humbled by his praise and his kindness.

"Ok", he said and finally let go of her hands. "Now, what's wrong with my suit?"

Dazed by the unexpected turn of their conversation Ana had to look at the garment spread out on the bed before remembering why she had put it out: "Nothing's wrong but you have not had it on in a while and I wondered if it still fits."

"Oh" Dan said looking down at his belly. "Too many steaks, huh?"

When Ana shifted besides him embarrassed, he chuckled. "It's alright, Belle, you are right and I am working on it. Although not with Nick, he almost killed me today."

While his parents were having their heart-to-heart, Nick was facing his own troubles on the floor above. He had meant to simply ask Emma to close her door but he was faced with three teenage girls in high spirits, insisting he should referee their dispute on which version of the song they were listening to was the best: the one belted by a female singer at the top of her lungs or the sultry, drawn out version of a male singer in which all the drums were replaced by guitars and the chorus was sung with a single violin playing in the background. He had endured through four renditions of the song before bowing out with the excuse that he had to change as he was going out. The look that passed between his sister and her friend Mandy did not escape him but he was too afraid that asking would lead to more giggling so he stifled his curiosity and made his escape while he had a chance.

Twenty minutes later, freshly showered and changed into jeans and a t-shirt, his hair still wet, leather jacket hanging over one shoulder in the crook of his finger, he went downstairs to let his parents know he was going out.

"I thought we were going to set up the work bench in the garage." Said Dan

"Sorry, Dad, can we do that tomorrow instead?"

"Well, sure, if you have plans."

Dan knew his jibe had found its mark when his son cleared his throat in an obvious attempt to avoid answering the question.

"It's all right, Nick, he's just teasing. Have fun. Oh, will you be home for dinner?" said Ana shaking her head at Dan.

"I'm not sure. Can I text you later? Oh, but you'd better check with Emma. Mandy and Jenny are here and it looks like they're settling in for a while."

Dan started laughing. "Oh, so that's what chased you out of the house! Go, son, run, those teenage girls can be terrifying."

Nick rolled his eyes at his father's attempt at a joke and with a kiss on his mom's cheek he was finally on his way to pick up Carol-Ann.

Naturally once he was with his girlfriend the furthest thing from his mind was texting his mother. Three hours later they were sharing a kiss lying on a blanket in the grass in Cherry Park when some sort of cackling noise sounded from her handbag, the sound steadily increasing until it drowned out even the shouts of the children in the nearby play area.

"What the hell is that?" He broke the kiss.

Giggling Carol-Ann started rummaging through her bag: "You always complain I don't answer my phone so I changed the ring signal."

"To that?!"

"Well, it's kind of hard to ignore." She said finally finding the object emitting the offending sound. Of course by now whoever was calling had hung up and the brief second of silence was immediately followed by a long beep.

At Nicks frown she quickly tapped on the screen to acknowledge the missed call and explained: "Reminder"

He shook his head at her but the frown was replaced with a smile as he teased her: "I guess you really don't want to miss my calls, huh?"

She playfully elbowed him in the arm but then cursed under her breath.

"Problem?" Nick asked

She sighed: "My brother. His car is in the shop and apparently he is invited for dinner at your house so he wants to take my car."

"Oh, shit." Said Nick extracting his own phone from the inner pocket of his jacket. "I was supposed to let my mom know if I'll be home for dinner," he explained. Instead of dialling however he just held the phone for a moment.

"Would you like to come for dinner at our house?" he asked. "Mom's a really good cook."

"Uh, Nick, I don't know if that's such a good idea. Meeting the parents is kind of a big step don't you think?" she joked to take the sting out of her refusal.

Nick rolled his eyes at her joke: "You've already met them and I just met yours. And your grandparents!" he pointed out. "Besides, if Jake is at ours with your car you'll be stuck at home and I'll have to fight Jenny off me for the rest of the evening."

They never clarified whether it was the prospect of spending the evening with her parents and grandparents or the idea that Nick would have a teenage girl showering him with attention in her absence that convinced Carol-Ann, but in the end Jake got permission to borrow her car and Nick informed his mother that there will be two more people for dinner.

They finished collecting their scattered belongings and folding the blanket and Carol-Ann placed a chaste kiss on Nick's cheek.

"Thank you Nick for a really nice afternoon."

At his obvious embarrassment she couldn't resist teasing him a little: "Although I must admit I never pegged you for the walk-in-the-park kind of guy."

"You are welcome. And I'm not, not really. But we used to come here a lot as kids and it seemed like a good place to run and hide from your grandparents." He teased back then took her hand and they started walking towards the exit and the parking lot.

Carol-Ann giggled again, too happy to do anything else, while she walked hand in hand with the man for whom she was falling harder with each date. Their relationship had just moved beyond kissing and hand holding the previous weekend when he had unexpectedly showed up at her apartment in Columbia and thoughts of those two days spent together brought a definite shade of pink to her cheeks so she hurried to talk about something else.

"Well, I'm glad the park is still here. It would have been a pity to turn it into an industrial estate."

"What? Who wants to turn it into an industrial estate?" he asked as they got into the car.

"Oh, it was a long time ago, after the storm. My dad was upset about it for a while. I think he was hoping the land would be auctioned off for redevelopment and then some charity stepped in and fixed it instead."

Nick was aware that Carol-Ann's father owned a business supplying office and industrial fittings. The firm was doing well and while they were not really rich they were certainly better off financially than his own family. He wouldn't let that intimidate him, but neither did he particularly want to dwell on that subject so he joked instead: "They didn't stand a chance. This is my mom's favourite park and trust me had that charity not stepped in she would have. There's no way she would have let them turn this into anything else."

"You are very fond of your mom." Carol-Ann remarked and then blushed at her unguarded remark.

"Yeah, I guess I am. For such a small person she is quite a force of nature. When she wants something done, believe me it gets done."

Carol-Ann laughed at that: "That's just like my grand-ma'. Must be something in the Southern upbringing that produces these strong women."

"Can't even blame it on that, mom is not from the South."

"Oh?"

"Washington State, Montesano."

An uneasy feeling spread over Carol-Ann. Caught up in the finals and their budding romance the picture she had found while researching the graduation speaker had slipped her mind, especially since the graduation committee had decided to focus on Grey's business achievements rather than his personal life. But Nick's casual comment reminded her of that woman, the 'friend' in the picture, and of her strong resemblance to his mother. Then there was Eddy's resemblance to Christian Grey and now it turned out his mother was actually from that same state…That made for quite a string of coincidences but she was careful to not jump to conclusions. Neither Eddy nor Nick had reacted to her remark about the resemblance between Eddy and Grey and Nick's remark about his mom being from Washington had been very casual. Surely if there was something more than coincidence either her friend or her boyfriend would have said something. Besides, she reasoned, Nick had actually helped her to get into that university library database. She hated, just hated mind games, but could not quite let go of her mounting uneasiness, so she remained silent.

"Hey, what's the matter? You've gone very quiet." Nick brought her back from her thoughts.

"Nothing, um, that's quite a long way from here, Washinton, I mean." She said and then cursed herself for giving into the temptation to fish for more information after all.

Nick gave a short affirmative nod: "It is."

Silence again filled the space between the two young people while the setting sun painted the sky above them red and orange.

"I'm sorry; I probably should have not brought that up." Nick said "It's something we never really talk about. The little I know is from Grandpa Ray, mom's dad, and he was not big on details."

"It's OK Nick, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's not that, it's more that it makes mom and Eddy really uncomfortable. I told you my mom, my biological mom, died when I was young."

Carol-Ann nodded so he continued: "I still have a few memories of her and we go visit her grave every year, I have a few pictures of her, that kind of stuff. But Eddy, he has never met his father. From what I know the guy got married and started a family and he has never been in touch. I don't even know who it is but I think that's why mom left Montesano." He stole a quick glance at her and noticed the concerned look on her face. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I never told any of this to anybody else."

"Nick, I…I don't know what to say. I'm sorry about your mom and about Eddy."

"It is what it is. As I said it's not something we usually talk about but if you're going to be around…" he stopped embarrassed at the admission he was about to make. Realizing they were almost home he pulled over and stopped the car.

"I'm sorry. I seem to keep putting my foot in my mouth tonight."

The combination of hope and apprehension at his words started her heart racing and pumping enough blood into Carol-Ann's cheeks to turn them slightly pink even in the low light. For a moment they just starred at each other and then she dared ask: "Are you going to finish that sentence?"

Instead of answering with words Nick bent his head towards her and found her lips with his. Their arms and their hands joined their lips and their tongues in exploring each other's bodies and they didn't break off the embrace until the need to breathe forced them apart. Her forehead still touching his and not daring meet his eyes, it was again Carol-Ann that found her voice first: "We don't know each other that well yet, but if you'd like me to, I really wouldn't mind sticking around for a while."

"Oh you wouldn't mind, would you?" he teased.

It was really awkward to shake her head in that position so they finally pulled apart a little. Nick beamed a smile at her then turned in the seat and started the car again.

"OK Miss O'Shea. If you are sure you don't mind, then in our immediate future we have one set of parents, one kid brother and three sixteen year old giggling female teenagers. Are you up for the challenge?"

**AN I really hope you have enjoyed the little bit of fluff even if it didn't involve the main characters because next chapter will reveal why it was necessary and it won't be pretty.**


	20. Summer Storm Ch21 Collateral Damage

AN: "For a **tornado** to **start**, two air masses must meet, a lower one containing warm, humid air and a higher one containing cool, dry air. During thunderstorms, unstable humid warm air moves upward and is stopped by a thin layer of cool dry air." This is the definition I had in mind when introducing Carol-Ann into this story...

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has started under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch21 Collateral damage

Nick and Carol-Ann arrived in time to share the evening meal with the rest of the gang: Ana and Dan, Mandy and Jake, Emma and Jenny were all already in the back yard. They barely fit around the wooden table but that didn't stop any of them from enjoying the meal and the company. Once the dishes were cleared Ana and Dan took their cue and went inside leaving the young people to enjoy their time without the embarrassing presence of parents listening and watching.

It had turned out into a really nice evening with sibling teasing staying on the side of playful and only once or twice crossing into annoying territory, until Carol-Ann reluctantly agreed to accept Emma's offer to borrow a pair of trousers 'before the mosquitoes eat you alive'. While Emma was busy ruffling through garments in her wardrobe, Carol-Ann passed the time looking at the collection of pictures and posters on the walls.

"Eddy was not kidding when he said you are into dancing" she said admiring a graceful ballerina in a poster for The Swan Lake, one of many posters of ballet and modern dance productions.

Emma's reply was a muffled sound that sounded like grunt as she was jumping to try and get something placed on the top shelf.

"Is this what you want to do? Dance?"

Finally Emma had found what she was looking for so she could give a proper reply.

"Maybe" she shrugged. "I mean I would like to, yeah, but, I don't think I'm quite good enough to make it. Miss Bowles, my dance teacher, she let me choreograph this year and all I could give myself was a minor role in the background. If I can't even cast myself, why would anybody else?"

"I'm sure you are too hard on yourself. You look fantastic in these pictures." Carol-Ann pointed to a side of the wall that contained mostly pictures of Emma in various productions. Her eyes fell on a picture of Emma with her mother and another woman, someone who looked vaguely familiar. The women were each holding a crutch in one hand and Emma was holding onto their free arms apparently using them for support to jump up in the air.

"That's how we told dad I don't have to use the crutches anymore." Said Emma noticing what Carol-Ann was looking at.

"Sorry?"

"I was in an accident when I was little and had to use crutches for almost a year. That was taken the day when I finally got rid of them. Dad almost got a heart attack when he saw me jumping up and down."

"God, I bet he did! Who is in the picture?"

"That's Aunt Kate. Well, she's not really an aunt, she's mom's friend but we just call her Aunt Kate."

Something about the blonde woman in the picture was tugging at Carol-Ann's memory: "She looks familiar but I can't place her."

"Mmmm, I don't know. She's not from here. She lives in Portland I think. You know, in Washington, up north. Mom and she went to school together. Here, I got you a pair of leggings. There's a bathroom at the end of the corridor if you want to change there." Emma said and thrust a black garment in Carol-Ann's hand.

Carol-Ann took the fabric from Emma, her mind still trying to place the woman in the picture: "Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'll be down in a minute."

"It's OK, I'll wait for you."

Alone in the bathroom, away from the distraction of Emma's presence and her almost overwhelming energy, Carol-Ann changed from her short skirt in the black leggings. She turned around to check that enough of her bottom was covered by her white top to not make the outfit look indecent and in the moment her face reappeared framed by the side of the mirror she suddenly remembered where she had seen that woman in the picture: a newspaper article during her research on Grey, something about a charity in Seattle. The brief moment off paranoia from earlier in the car resurfaced and made her slightly nauseous. With a sinking feeling she opened the bathroom door to find Emma leaning against the wall by the door to her bedroom.

"All done? Wow, you look great!"

"Oh, umm, thank you." Was all Carol-Ann could muster, her voice sounding far away beyond the rush of blood to her ears.

"C'mon, let's go back before they send a search patrol." Said Emma, turning around and starting down the stairs.

When she reached the kitchen Carol-Ann was still of two minds about what to do next. The sight of her handbag abandoned on the kitchen table gave her an idea. "Go ahead Emma, I just need to check on something" she said and grabbed her bag rummaging for her tablet.

What she saw once she found the document she was looking for wiped any remaining hope from her young heart. Pale and with a determined expression on her face she went outside where the others were still enjoying their evening. "Jake can I have the keys to the car please?"

"Uh, sure." Her brother answered and tossed her the keys.

Avoiding Nick, Carol-Ann kept her eyes on Jake: "Something has come up and I have to go. Are you coming?"

A cacophony of protests and comments followed her announcement but she held firm and refused to explain any further. Eventually she was at the front door, Nick close behind her. He had already asked her twice what happened and she could only hope that she would last another few seconds before the tears would appear and give away her broken heart. To her relief the door was unlocked and she hurried to step outside.

"Carol-Ann, wait!"

She stopped for one breath, but then dashed down the few steps and to her car and managed to get in despite her trembling hands. In her rear view mirror she could see Nick standing in the doorway, so she pressed the gas pedal and tore out of the driveway.

Five minutes later her phone started to ring and she instantly hated the annoying cackling noise. It took another ten minutes before she was parked in front of her parent's house, on the other side of town. The not quite half a million dollars' worth of property that was not quite on the lake, testimony to her father's business that was doing well but not quite well enough was suddenly pointing a finger to her relationship with the boy from the 'wrong side of town'. She had been angry with her mother when she had mentioned the disparity in their social status and had pointed out all the 'not quite there' aspects of their own social standing, most of which were a reminder of better days anyway.

She only looked at her phone long enough to silence it but to do that she had to acknowledge the two missed calls from Nick. Twenty minutes is all she lasted inside before she had had enough of her family endlessly questioning her about her plans for the future. When Nick's text threatened he will come by if she didn't reply her mind was made up: she quickly texted him and also informed her family that something had come up and she had to return early to Columbia. For the second time that evening she made her exit in a hurry, dodging questions and worried glances.

The two hour drive to Columbia gave her the mental space she needed to think things over. Both Eddy and Nick had seen her waste hours, days, weeks of her life researching Christian Grey, hunting for information about him -Nick had even "helped" her with that waste of time!- and in all that time neither had mentioned their connection with someone as close to Grey as his sister in law. Once in her apartment she made a bee line for her computer. She went back to all the various sources of information she had used before but this time her research was focused on a different person and the information that had barely trickled before was now pouring through page after page of newspaper archives, social media and gossip pages. Her phone had been silent since that last text more than three hours ago so the loud cackle startled her from starring at the result of her latest search. By this time she was beyond hurt and downright angry at her naivety so she didn't hesitate to buzz the front door open to allow her ex-boyfriend and brother of her ex-friend, access to her apartment. She opened the door stone faced, her anger barely under control: "Nick, what can I do for you?"

"Can you tell me what the hell happened?"

She opened the door wide, almost gleeful. "Certainly, why don't you come in?"

Surprised to be invited and a little weary of her strange mood he stepped in. For a moment they just stood there looking at each other.

"If I said something or did something wrong, can I at least know what my crime was?" he asked again

Less than an arm length from him, seeing the sadness in his face and hearing the dejection in his voice, she felt less sure of her previous conclusions but if she was wrong she needed him to provide a different explanation for all the information she now had, so with only a hint of tremor in her voice she managed to inform him: "You never mentioned your Aunt Kate."

He couldn't have looked more astonished if a green alien wearing a pink tutu suddenly appeared in the room and started doing cartwheels.

"My what?"

"Your Aunt Kate. You know, your mother's friend from college. The one who lives in Seattle, that Aunt Kate."

"What the…" He took a deep breath. "You are upset with me because I have not mentioned my mother's high school friend?!"

"Not high school, college, but I suppose that's a minor detail in the grand scheme of things."

"My mom never went to college; I think I'd know if she had a degree. And me not mentioning one of her friends to you got you so angry you stormed out of the house and left town?"

They were not getting anywhere so she turned around and stomped to her computer. "You remember when you offered to help me with research on Christian Grey?" she asked, her back to him, flicking through the open pages in her browser.

Nick nodded, his face still a prime example of utter confusion.

"And you still don't think mentioning Aunt Kate would have been relevant?" she said and moved to the side to allow him full view of the computer screen showing a picture of Katherine Kavanagh-Grey in a molten grey business suit confidently smiling at the camera.

She had it all there, all the evidence she had collected to confront her lover and her friend, in opened browser tabs and downloaded documents. Her anger still simmering, she pointed out the hyphenated name with one accusing finger.

Ten minutes is all it took for her anger to turn into an agony of remorse, her whole body shaking in sympathetic anguish as Nick's now raspy, barely above a whisper, voice urged her to show him the next document. They had watched archived copies of Kate's valedictorian speech, Christian Grey's commencement address at WSU Vancouver, the "Christian Grey with friend" picture, Grey's biography mentioning his two marriages and two children and now with trembling fingers she clicked away from the image of a clearly pregnant Anastasia Grey pictured as the matron of honour for her best friend, Katherine Kavanaugh. The next document was an archived copy of a society page in The Seattle Post announcing the birth of Theodore Raymond Grey, son of Anastasia and Christian Grey. No pictures were attached to the few lines of text, but by now the damage was done. Nick was standing motionless besides her, silently starring at the screen.

He finally moved but only to go sit on the couch where he rested his elbows against his knees and placed his head in his hands.

"God, Nick! I'm so, so sorry. I didn't think, I mean I thought…How could you not know?!"

"I just need a moment." It's all he managed.

As the minutes ticked by in the silent apartment, Carol-Ann barely dared to breathe. If her mind was spinning with all the implications of what they had uncovered she couldn't even begin to understand how all this looked to Nick and as soon as Eddy crossed her mind she shut down completely and proceeded to just sit and wait Nick out. When he eventually resurfaced from his thoughts it turned out that what he wanted was more information. Hesitant at first she shared with him everything else she had gathered while she was researching Christian Grey. They didn't spend any time on his business achievements or his charity work, but the gossip surrounding his first divorce and subsequent marriage to his pregnant mistress took on a whole new meaning. Despite their best efforts the only details they could find about Anastasia Grey were her maiden name, that she had graduated from WSU Vancouver Summa Cum Laude with a major in Literature and that she was still registered as the owner of Grey Publishing.

It was after midnight when emotionally exhausted they gave up the search. Nick did not have any strength left to fight her when she insisted he shouldn't drive back to Rock Hill and instead crashed on her couch for a few hours.

In the morning he seemed to have recovered from the shock of the previous evening, although he was more reserved than he had ever been in her presence. They agreed that he would speak to his parents before saying anything to Eddy and with her permission he copied the information from her computer to his phone. Before he left he placed a kiss on her cheek and embraced her in a bear hug: "We'll be all right Carol-Ann. I just need a little time to think this over and talk to my parents, OK?" he said, a finger tracing a line on her cheek from the corner of her eye to the corner of her mouth. With a promise to text her when he arrived in Rock Hill he left to try and get to his parent's house while the day was still young.

He stopped his car in front of the small house where the open garage door gave away his dad's whereabouts.

"Hi Dad."

"Nick, hi! Uh, everything all right?"

"Yeah, fine. Is mom around?"

"She should be in the house. Why?"

"I just need to ask her something."

Between first Carol-Ann's and then Nick's hasty departures the previous evening, Nick's rough appearance this morning and the speed with which he disappeared from the garage into the house, Dan got a feeling that his new work bench was not going to get set up this weekend after all. With a sigh he started pushing aside the larger pieces of metal and wood and clean himself up before going inside. He never got that far.

Only a couple of minutes later Nick came out through the door again, followed by Belle, him with his jaw set in a hard line, she with a worried frown.

"I need to talk to you," Nick said turning to his mother, "but not where Emma can hear us."

Dan and Ana both insisted that whatever Nick had to say he could tell both so all three ended up sitting at a table in the picnic area of Oakwood Acres park, Ana and Dan on one side and Nick facing them. His plan had been to confront his mother with some of the material he had saved on his phone, but that was while he was far away, feeling angry and disconnected. Now sitting across his parents in familiar surroundings he couldn't even remember why he thought he would need proof and a confrontation so he stored his phone back in his pocket.

"I know this is something you never like to talk about and I don't know of any good way of saying this so I'm just going to ask," he said, mostly talking to his mom. "Christian Grey, the graduation speaker, is he Eddy's biological father?"

The tears in his mother's eyes and his father's dropped head is all the answer he needed. He sprung to his feet and glared down at both of them: "Jesus H Christ mom! You were going to just let Eddy stand in front of him and shake his hand?"

"I…" Ana started but the tears choking her didn't allow her to continue.

"Nick, it's just a hand shake," Dan said trying to pacify his son.

There were so many questions running around Nick's mind that for a few seconds he was speechless, his whole body tense with the rush of adrenaline from his outburst. As the hormones started to wane and the anger was no longer strong enough to sustain him, he was left just bone weary and confused. He sat down more because his knees felt too weak to hold him than out of a deliberate choice.

"I don't understand." He summed up the jumble of fragmented thoughts filling his head.

When his mother opened her mouth to say something he raised his hand to stop her, keen to try and voice all the doubts and conflicting emotions he had bottled since the previous evening: "I was there when you told Eddy about how his father has left the both of you to start another family. I can't remember the word divorce mentioned. Maybe I was just too young to understand the difference but I always assumed, and I think Eddy does too, that you were never married, that he was an accident or something, maybe even that his father denied he was his."

He reached out and wiped a tear that was coursing down his mother's face. "I read some old newspaper articles last night. I can understand that you were hurt and that you chose to keep your son and leave town." He frowned: "Some of the information doesn't make much sense. They say you got 100 million or something like that but that's obviously not true." Nick shook his head. "Eddy will be happy to know you chose him over his father's fortune. But the way he feels about his father…I am stubborn and can be a hot head. I go to the gym, do some fighting, maybe go out for a few drinks and then go back to normal. But Eddy is not like that. He is passionate about things. When he starts doing something it's not just his mind, it's his heart, his whole being that gets involved. When he loves he would die for you but when he hates…" He took a deep breath: "I think Eddy would rather eat glass and spend the rest of his life begging at street corners than shake hands with that man."

Both his parents were staring at him in stunned silence. Before either of them found their voices he asked: "You changed your names. Does Grey even know who Eddy is?"

"Oh, God, Nick! Yes he does. All of this, all you just said…" Ana could barely string a sentence together let alone start a lengthy explanation. "Eddy never asked, never said anything. I thought…I tried to talk to him once but he just waved it away. I had no idea…Why did he never say anything?"

Nick sighed and shook his head again. "Not exactly his favourite bed time story, the tale about the man that has abandoned him and his mother, apparently traded him for his fortune. At least he doesn't know about this last part. But when he finds out who his father is…Eddy is a smart guy, if I found out about all of that, he will too."

"Nick, I don't know what to say right now." Dan said. "I never thought about how Eddy felt about this. Are you, I mean do you ever think…" he stopped, for once being the one whose emotions formed a clump in his throat.

"About my mom? My first mom, I mean?" Nick looked, a little unsure, at his mother: "I remember her a little and I know she was there and she loved me, but" his focus shifted to his father: "we never talk about her so I don't really know that much. But that's the main difference between me and Eddy: I know she loved me and she didn't choose to leave me."

"Would you like to know more about Jane?" Dan asked.

Nick shrugged: "Sometimes. It would be nice to know the story. The nice parts like how you met, what she liked or didn't like, that kind of thing."

Ana and Dan looked at each other with pained expressions on their faces.

"Look, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to get into all this stuff." Nick said. "We can talk about it some other time. I'd really like that actually. But for now we need to talk about Eddy and then I have to drive back to Charleston. You said Grey knows who Eddy is. Is he…I don't know, going to do anything about that?"

"No," Ana shook her head. "But Eddy has a trust fund. He is due to receive the first cheque the Monday after graduation. There is no name on the cheque, but I thought that if Eddy has any questions when we tell him about the fund, we'll answer them."

"A trust fund? Oh so that's what the papers meant. For 100 million, right?"

"A little more than that actually but he won't get them all at once. It was in the papers?"

"Let me show you." Nick said and produced his phone from his pocket. While he was scrolling through his files he asked: "Not that it matters really, but just how much is in Eddy's trust fund."

Ana knew all too well how the papers could distort the most innocent look or comment and something Nick had said earlier had already started alarm bells ringing: 'he traded him for his fortune'. She welcomed the distraction of some hard facts so she didn't hesitate to explain: "It's a staged fund. He'll get $10,000 a month until he's thirty and then he gets 10 million, then 100 million ten years later and 1 billion when he turns fifty."

Nick stopped scrolling with his finger still poised on the touch screen so she offered the same explanation she had given Dan: "It was set up when he was born and it was a compromise. Christian wanted him to have 100 million when he turned 21 but I thought that was a ridiculous amount of money for somebody that young so this is what we eventually agreed on."

"Christian Grey?" Nick asked wanting to make sure he had not misunderstood. At his mom's short nod he cleared his throat: "So Eddy is worth a billion dollars?"

"Eventually, yes." Ana nodded.

Nick looked seriously shaken, pale, his breaths shallow and fast. "I think I'm gonna be sick." He said and bowed his head to take a few deep breaths.

"It's just money." She said, her defensive tone pleading for his understanding of how little that meant when looking at the situation as a whole.

Nick's shoulders started to shake and a strangled chuckle escaped him. "God mom! You are the least materialistic person I know and Eddy is going to rip that cheque to pieces on principle, but for the rest of us…a billion dollars is so much more than 'just money'." A bit of colour returning to his cheeks he shook his head not in denial but to clear it from the jumble of thoughts and possibilities suddenly running rampant through his mind. "How did we ever get into this?" he asked. "Oh, yeah, the newspaper. Here."

He handed both of them his phone with the image of the Seattle Times front page from January 20, 2015: "Father of billionaire denies blogger allegations". The article was meant to report on Carrick Grey strongly denying that his son had reached a financial agreement with his now ex-wife by which instead of parting with half his fortune he granted her full custody of their son and only paid out 100 million in settlement. Of course while reporting on Carrick's denial they had managed to include the full details of the allegations and ended the article on a sarcastic note: _'While his father is busy defending his son's reputation, the young billionaire has been MIA for over a month. GEH Head of Mergers and Acquisitions, Ros Bailey, has also been kept busy assuring the business community that GEH remains open for business. But with no word from the recently single billionaire we can't help but wonder what kind of family reasons have been keeping him away from both the business and social scenes.'_

While Ana was once again transported in a time when her private life was the subject of gossip rags and media scrutiny, every untrue, falsely objective and deceivingly factual sentence of the article raising her blood pressure another notch, Dan did not have the same reasons to become upset.

"How did you find this?" He asked Nick, aware of how little he had been able to dig out himself about his wife's previous marriage.

"Newspapers dot com" Nick said. "You need to pay for a subscription but they have most major newspapers and a few smaller ones archived since at least the fifties or sixties. The original article was in a smaller newspaper and it's not archived. The Seattle Nook or something like that."

"The Nooz." Ana said through gritted teeth.

When both men looked at her questioningly she raised her head from reading the article and clarified: "The Seattle Nooz. A gossip rag full of hearsay and pure fabrications. None of this is true, Nick. Not a single word of those allegations is true."

Fuelled by her anger she embarked to tell the story of her first marriage and the divorce that followed, complete with the admission that the terms included shared custody of their child and unlimited visitation rights for his father. She told him of the break in communication between her and her husband and how she misinterpreted that as a lack of interest in her and their son, of how she had let herself be convinced that when Christian came to his senses and realized what he had lost he would come after her and take her son away from her. She told him of the name change and the move across the country, the trip that had taken a month in an old battered car, giving her the time to adjust to her new identity. And then she finally told him of Christian's letter and the startling revelations of the past few weeks: of how he had been watching them and watching over them, including his involvement in Emma's care.

Nick listened to her sitting stock still, barely able to swallow or blink. When she finally finished her tale, almost an hour later, his senses slowly started to transmit information about his surroundings to his overwhelmed mind: the voices in the nearby softball field, movement at a table a little further away where a family of four seemed to have materialized while he was spellbound by his mother's story. His buttocks were numb from sitting on the bench for so long and finally he registered another pressing need. So the first thing he said was: "I need the bathroom."

He stood up and walked past the table where two girls were fighting about something or other and into the cool shade of the public facilities. Once he had attended to his needs, washed his hands and splashed cold water over his face and neck, he stepped outside into the warm and bright day. He had to blink to adjust to the light but eventually his eyes were able to focus on his parents, still seated at the table. He was almost surprised to see them, as if he had somehow expected to walk back out and realize that it had all been some sort of dream, a figment of his imagination. As reality set in so did his awareness that with all he had learned there had to be more to the story. Too many of his mother's words floated aimlessly in his mind, with no clear attachment to anything else. Slowly he made his way back to the table and resumed his seat.

"Nick, are you all right? I realize it is a lot to take in." said Dan with a concerned look on his face

"I'm fine. I…it will take a while for all of this to really set in and I have just realized that there has to be quite a lot I still don't know."

"I'm sorry, Nick, I shouldn't have dumped all of that on you like this."

"No, mom, it's fine. After last night I needed to know. And there's something you should know: Eddy, was going to ask you about his father anyway. At his birthday, he had a bit too much to drink," Nick cleared his throat remembering just why his brother had had his first encounter with hard liquor. "Anyway, we were talking about the future and his plans and he mentioned that he was going to ask about him."

"What? Why? I mean after all you told us about how he feels about this…"Ana's voice trailed, uncertain.

"I'm not sure. As I said he was not making a lot of sense by then and was jumping from one thing to the other, but I think he means to confront him, show him what he missed, something like that."

**AN: Next chapter will see everybody getting to Columbia**


	21. Summer Storm Ch22 Collision Course

**AN: Here we go, finally getting everybody into one place. With this chapter the story moves into the second part where the past and the present start to mix and reshape everybody's future and I would like to thank all of you who have supported this story so far. A very special thank you to Milou who is my beta and also to Pielietje, Romanreader, AriadneInNaxos, Greypearls, Carol222 and Meigs37 who have taken the time to share their thoughts after, I think, every single chapter!**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 22 Collision course

**Wednesday, May 26, Seattle 10 am**

Christian's SUV came to a full stop at the bottom of the stairs leading to the front door of his childhood home. Any other day he would have made an effort to leave his business persona behind him when entering this particular house, but on this day he was wearing it like a shield, a barrier between the turmoil in his soul and the outside world. Elliot's car parked just to the side of the house did nothing to alleviate his tension, so it was with a determined step he entered the house, Samantha close behind him. His jaw muscles tensed further when he noticed the duffel bag lying beside the two suitcases on the floor: Grace Trevelyan Grey never used duffel bags, ever.

**Wednesday, May 26, Rock Hill, 1 pm**

Ana and Dan entered the Rock Hill branch of the First National Bank and took in the short queue to the tellers. Tension was radiating from Ana in waves and Dan was doing all he could to reign in his own uncertainties so he could provide the emotional support she needed. After a few short minutes it was their turn and Ana produced a white envelope from her bag.

"Good afternoon ma'am, sir. What can I do for you?" the voice of the young woman behind the protective glass intruded on her musings.

Ana's mind, overwhelmed by the profound consequences the next few moments will have on their lives, stumbled trying to find the appropriate response, so Dan spoke for them: "Um, yeah, hi, I'd like to deposit a cheque."

**Wednesday, May 26, Seattle 1 pm**

Christian, Grace, Samantha and Elliot – '_I can fly with you or I can get a commercial flight, either way I am going to be there Christian'_\- had been airborne for two hours. Christian had abandoned his companions to their own devices and sat on his own in one of the large comfortable armchairs with his laptop opened in front of him. While pretending to be engrossed in his work his mind was actually replaying fragments of the sessions with his psychiatrist. He had contacted Dr Andrew Renner in early April and in their first meeting had gone straight to the point: 'I have been invited to deliver the Commencement address at Teddy's graduation and I have accepted. In eight weeks I am going to present him with his diploma.' Aware, perhaps even more so than his patient, how momentous this decision was, the doctor had cancelled his next patient and promptly set up twice weekly double sessions with the mountain of coiled tension that sat at the very edge of the couch on the other side of the coffee table.

Christian forced himself to lean his head against the back of the chair and turned away from the computer screen. Dr Renner had only treated him for a couple of years and that was three years ago. Ana and Teddy and his feelings and thoughts surrounding them had been part of their conversations, but the main topic then had been his rekindled anxiety regarding his parenting skills and some difficult conversations with Samantha as she had turned thirteen. This time however, with full focus first on Teddy and then on Ana, in that one room on this planet where it was not only OK to express his emotions but actively encouraged, the intensity of his feelings had taken both him and his doctor by surprise. Taming that beast again had proven challenging and yesterday at the end of their last session Dr Renner had done two things he had never done before: swore in front of a patient – '_just take the goddamn tablets'_\- and gave him his personal number–'_and call if they're not enough'_.

**Wednesday, 26th of May, Rock Hill, 4 pm**

Ana and Dan were sharing a few last minutes of peace and quiet sitting at the table in the kitchen. Nick's revelations that both Eddy and him would have actually liked to have more information about their biological parents had left both of them with guilty feelings that their own emotions had blinded them to the needs of their children.

Ana had taken this as yet another sign that she had to stop running and come to terms with her past. The cheque from Christian was part of that past, its presence in Rock Hill proof of her ex-husband's overbearing ways but also of his unwavering care and consideration. The hard demanding stare and the gentle tender gaze from her memory, both parts were what made him…him. She had already acknowledged to herself she missed them both, wanted them both. And she owed him that much: to graciously accept his gift. So she and Dan had signed the paperwork for three trust funds, one for each child, with seven millions into each fund. On their lawyer's advice, the remaining sum, almost two million dollars, will go into a joint account – '_life has a way of throwing curve balls, Mrs and Mr Parson. It might be a good idea to not tie all the funds where they can only be withdrawn for certain purposes'_.

As for Dan, trying to figure out what to tell Nick about his biological mother had forced him to go down memory lane in more detail than he had in years. Old wounds had been ripped open and the pain of the loss, usually a dull ache somewhere at the back of his mind, was again sharp and part of his consciousness.

**Wednesday, 26****th**** of May, 7 pm, Columbia **

The grey and white jet with the initials CTG painted on the tail and the sides of the fuselage touched down with the slightest bump.

After a light lunch Grace had fallen asleep in the reclining armchair and Samantha had plugged in her head phones and taken out her laptop. Elliot had chosen that moment to move from the couch on the side of the cabin to the seat directly across from his brother and interrupted his brooding mood with a discussion about… everything and anything really: from the price of steel to the Coping Together gala which Christian was due to host in just over a fortnight - anything that is, except the subject of their destination.

For the last hour of the flight the Greys had swivelled four armchairs around and played gin until Grace suddenly placed her cards on the table and glared at the three of them: "Will you all stop molly coddling me? I can still play gin you know!"

While gathering the few of their belongings that had been strewn about during the flight, Christian and Elliot ended up alone at one end of the cabin. "Thanks Elliot," Christian acknowledged his brother's effort to keep his mind off the meeting that awaited him at their destination.

Elliot only clapped his shoulder in response then went forward to take his seat in preparation for landing.

After a much shorter journey, Ana, Dan and Emma were on their way to dinner. Nick had bowed out and was going to meet them at Eddy's apartment in the morning, while Eddy was at a party for the Honours College Students, a respected tradition of the college. With both Ana and Dan preoccupied by Nick's recent revelations and the fast approaching confession they needed to make to Eddy, the conversation at the table was sparse and the walk through the streets of Columbia after dinner mostly silent. Even Emma seemed to have something on her mind so her usual exuberance was somewhat dampened.

**Thursday, 27****th**** of May, 9am, University of Southern Carolina**

The Parsons had walked from Eddy's apartment together and Eddy had finally put on the gown he had been carrying draped over his arm. As they were getting closer to the hall were the ceremony was going to be held the crowd became thicker and their brisk pace turned into a slow walk. This gave Ana some time to let her eyes roam over the open area seeking the man she was supposed to meet, a Greg McKenzie. During their short telephone conversation Luke Sawyer had assured her that the man will find her, but now she felt lost in the multitude milling about.

They were only a few steps away from the entrance when she saw him: standing tall, buzz cut hair, dark grey suit and black tie on a snow white shirt, an unmoving rock unaffected by the ebb and flow of people moving around him, his no-nonsense attitude at odds with the excitement in the air. She touched Dan's arm to attract his attention and their party came to a halt.

"Uh, I guess this is it", said Eddy. "Dad you have the tickets, right?"

Dan patted his breast pocket and on second thought produced the four squares of paper and then handed one each to Emma, Nick and Belle. "In case we get separated."

Nick took his ticket and stretched out his hand to his brother: "Go get them tiger!"

"Yeah, what he said." Said Emma and gave Eddy a hug.

"Congratulations, son. Well done." Was Dan's choked greeting while he too shook Eddy's hand.

Ana just stood there, beyond words, watching her grown son only a few steps away from embarking on yet another phase of his life.

"Mom, no more crying, you promised." Said Eddy putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into an embrace.

"Oh, Eddy! I am so, so proud of you." She whispered and getting her emotions under control lifted her head to smile at him.

"Thanks mom. Uh, we'd better get inside before they lock us out." Eddy broke out of his mother's embrace embarrassed by all the fuss.

At the door, Ana slowed her pace to fall behind the rest of the family and waved them along: "Go in, I'll be right behind you."

Dan gave her a short nod and urged the others inside. Left alone, Ana turned her head to look for the man she had spotted earlier only to see him walking towards her. Aware of the people surrounding her she caught his eye then deliberately moved towards one side of the door and waited for him to reach her.

"Mrs Parson, I am Greg McKenzie." The man greeted her.

For a moment all she could do was stare at him. Not for who he was, but for what he was: a security guard, a part of Christian's reality, a part of his world. She had to get this over with before she lost her nerve so she hurriedly rummaged through her handbag to produce an envelope, the reason for their meeting.

"Can you please tell him that…that it might be better if he read this after the ceremony." She said and handed him the envelope.

"Yes, ma'am." Is all he said but something in his expression, in the way he looked at her, made her wonder just how much he knew about her and about the reason for the letter. Feeling the heat rising in her cheeks she stammered: "I'd better get inside."

"Of course. Please allow me." Greg McKenzie stretched his arm towards the door, effectively creating a free space for her to move through, then remained close behind her ensuring she was not jostled or bumped into or hurried until she reached the door and showed her ticket.

"Thank you" she said acknowledging his protection. Afraid he will keep following her and not ready to explain his presence to Emma or Nick she continued "I think I can take it from here."

A brief inclination of his head confirmed he had heard her and then she was on her way towards the staircase. Although he did not follow her she could still feel his eyes on her until she reached the first turn of the stairs. The crowd had thinned considerably and when she entered the cavernous space, her eyes roaming trying to decipher the seat numbering, she spotted Dan who was standing in the middle of the gallery and a little to the right, waving at her. Emma and Nick were seated in front of him, Emma busy on her phone and Nick casually looking around. She made her way towards him and feeling grateful that Emma had convinced her to dress up. As she apologized for disturbing the people already seated on their row she could not help but notice that most were decidedly better dressed than she remembered from Nick's graduation.

"All right?" Dan asked her when she reached him.

She managed a nod and finally took her seat. Dan took her hand and squeezed it and whispered just loud enough to be heard above the general buzz of conversations and the sounds of the band warming up: "Whatever happens next, today is for Eddy."

"Yes. Yes it is." She replied her gaze still roaming over the crowd. "Do you know where he is seated?"

"All the Honours College students are in the front rows. Here, there's a program." He said and handed her a glossy brochure.

The ceremony was due to last for two and a half hours, starting with the staff procession, followed by the president's speech and then the introduction of the Commencement speaker before the speaker took the stage. After the speeches all students were to be called one by one and presented with their diplomas by the President of the university and the dean of their respective college. The Honours College was the last on the list and in recognition of the fact that those students had degrees in various subjects, instead of one particular dean the Commencement Speaker was going to join the President in congratulating them. Finally the President would deliver the closing speech and the guest of honour and the faculty will be leaving the hall followed by the graduates.

By now every seat on the floor was taken and the students seated in the rows of chairs on the floor were a sea of black caps with the occasional bright colour of a merit badge or other insignia. The right side of the venue was completely empty while on the left the first two rows were occupied except for a few seats closest to the stage. At the far end was the stage, with rows of empty chairs and a lectern in the middle while the band was tucked away in the right corner. The band finally stopped torturing their instruments and the only movement left was on the left side where the photographer was setting up his equipment.

A group of people entered from the left of the stage: an elderly lady arm in arm with a man and walking besides them a girl that looked to be in her teens, the three surrounded by several large men all dressed in dark grey suits. As the group scattered to take the remaining seats on the left side and the bulky frames of the men no longer obscured her view recognition dawned on Ana and forced a gasp from her: there, in the front row, aged but unmistakably her, sat Grace Trevelyan Grey and besides her was Elliot Grey.

"Belle, what's the matter?" a voice asked besides her. But her mind was somewhere else and her attention focused on the young woman sat on the other side of Grace. Dark haired, tall, impeccable posture, completely at ease with her surroundings, she was saying something to Grace and then took her hand in hers and smiled. Ana watched as Grace responded with a smile of her own and the familiarity between the two sealed what her gut instinct had already told her, that there was only one possible explanation for who the young woman was. Ana's eyes stung with unshed tears while she took in the irrefutable proof, the reality of Christian's daughter with another woman.

Pressure on her hand made her try to move and when the limb would not obey she was forced to turn her eyes away from those front rows. As her eyes readjusted to the relative darkness awareness of her surroundings slammed into her forcing her spine into the back of the chair. Dan was holding her hand and Nick was frowning at her: "Is that…" he started and then stopped realizing Emma was just beside him. At her nod he pursed his lips and turned back in his chair.

"Who? What? What have I missed?" said Emma raising her head from her mobile phone.

They didn't have time to answer her as the Announcer tapped on the microphone and launched into his welcome greeting then asked everybody to stand for the arrival of the faculty staff. Somewhere beside her Dan and Nick where whispering to each other but Ana was again lost to them. Her eyes had already fallen on the procession starting from somewhere below them and walking up the aisle between the rows of students. The Announcer's voice presented each group as it made its way into the venue. The university flag was followed by the academic leadership including the president, then the whole academic staff who took their seats on the empty right side of the room and finally "The members of the board of trustees and our guest of honour, this year's Commencement speaker, Mr Christian Grey. The group is led by the chairman of the board Mrs Camilla Dunn." The voice was finally silent.

In the midst of the black and purple robes, he stood out in his light grey suit, his copper hair sprinkled with lighter strands. All she could see was the back of his head and a tiny sliver of hope slithered through her: maybe he has changed, maybe this was not going to be that hard after all, just the confirmation that they have grown apart. Maybe she will be able to grieve her loss and finally put it to rest.

Her heart drumming a fast beat against her rib cage, she forgot to breathe as this last group made its way to the stage and took their seats.

The Announcer's voice asked them to be seated and the hope she had harboured for just a few moments vanished the moment Christian raised his head and let his eyes roam over the audience. As her lungs slowly filled with air, she simply watched and drank him in: the chiselled contour of his face, the grey eyes intense and piercing, the full lips, his broad shoulders covered by the light grey suit, the collar of a white shirt enclosing his neck, a navy tie bringing some contrast to the grey and white in a straight line down his chest, his hands stapled on top of each other resting on his knee, his legs crossed, dark socks showing at the ankle just above black polished shoes. While her eyes took in his appearance, the changes together with the familiar traits, her memory supplied the knowledge of his ready wit, his intelligence, his compassion but also of his anger, his mercurial character, his dark and tortured past. For her he will never be any other man or a powerful business mogul or an honoured guest. This many years down the line all she saw was just Christian and she allowed his presence to fill her, to heal her, to soothe the aching void inside of her.

She saw him casually survey the room until his eyes reached the left side and stopped on his family. His serious face softened and a small smile curved his mouth and her silent admiration was marred by the awareness of her loss: that smile will no longer be for her. For all the wrong she had done, for all she had taken away from him, now that she had finally admitted to herself that she was not over him, could not be over him, she will have to resign herself to watch him from a distance.

Besides her Dan was reaching his own conclusions watching the man whose sudden reappearance in Belle's life had so profoundly disturbed the peace of his family: impeccably dressed, self-assured, sat among the dignitaries in the front row and looking as if he belonged there. In an unconscious gesture he straightened his own posture and turned his head towards his wife. The look she had on her face was something he had never seen on her before: her lips slightly parted, her eyes wide and shining, a slight blush to her cheeks, her chest slowly rising and falling with deep measured breaths. He didn't need to confirm what, or rather who, she was looking at. A deep seated, long forgotten or long ignored rumbling started in his own chest: the longing for someone to look at him the way she looked at Grey.

And then her lips pressed together and instead of excited she looked…sad, wistful perhaps. He turned his head to see what had changed her mood and caught just a flicker of smile on Grey's face as his gaze passed over his family. Nick had quickly filled him in while they were stood up watching the procession: Grey's mother and brother and the girl holding his mother's hand, probably his daughter. He took a good look at the three of them: rich people, without a doubt. From the coiffed hair on the mother to the well cut clothes and the understated sparkling jewellery, everything was first class. He had not paid much attention to the people seated in that area but now he let his eyes roam over them. It wasn't just Grey's family that were obviously in a different class than most people in the room. The women looked…glowing somehow, touches of precious stones and pearls highlighting their necks and ears, sparkling on their fingers. He tried to imagine Belle seated in that front row. He had noticed this morning the new dress and the shoes and complimented her on them and he had noticed the makeup and that she was wearing the necklace and the earrings he had bought her. She looked beautiful, more elegant than he had ever seen her, but it was hard to picture her seated there, on display, under the bright lights. She was smart and determined, but she was also shy and reserved. He could not help but wonder how did she ever fit into Grey's world.

The man himself had resumed his impassive expression and was unbuttoning his jacket, his left hand opening the side just a little, but enough for Dan to see a white square of paper only half way tucked in the inner pocket, then Grey's face suddenly looked like thunder, his jaw set and the already startling grey eyes now shining like two laser beams, apparently focused on something just below their seats.

Wondering if that was Belle's letter in Grey's pocket - he turned towards her. But now Belle had made herself a little smaller in her chair, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her head bowed and her hands clasped tightly together in her lap and his thoughts took a whole new turn: between Belle's stubbornness and Grey's obvious habit of being in command, between the naked adoration he had seen in her eyes earlier and the glimpse he had just got of an angry Grey, just what had transpired between these two? Was there perhaps some justification to Ray's actions?

In front of them Christian had regained control over his facial features. His emotions were a whole other matter. The temptation to look at Ana, to see if she had understood his message – 'I have your letter, I listened to your advice, I keep it close to my heart' – and see her reaction had almost been too much. He already had to be careful to not stare at Teddy. Their eyes had briefly met when he had first glanced over the room and the effort to let his gaze continue past him had been tremendous. At least Teddy was oblivious to his identity but up there in the middle of the gallery, a little to the right, was Ana. If he happened to look at her…

Among the many questions Dr Renner had forced him to consider this was the one that had unleashed the raging desire he had thought he had tamed over the years: the burning need for her to still have feelings for him. With that realization had come the fear of what he would see in her eyes. Her response to his letter had given him hope - she had not rejected it and she had let him know she remembered - but the past few weeks he had alternated between hope and doubt. Dr Renner had been relentless in forcing him to acknowledge the various possibilities and he had found himself experiencing the whole range of emotions from abject despair to anger to sadness then joy and exhilarating happiness. Time was too short to learn to cope with any of those reactions, let alone all of them, so they had changed focus for the sessions on helping him deal with the challenge of knowing he was on display for her to look at him, and with that crucial moment when he will make physical contact with Teddy just to have to let him go again.

He had to make a good impression on Teddy and extreme displays of emotions were not going to help with that goal, so the plan was that he would not look at her. But as to her looking at him, he had known immediately what he wanted her to see: him. Not the business man, not the honoured guest, just Christian. That was what had made Ana special to him from the beginning: the way she could see him and love him the way he was and just for him, regardless or despite all the trappings that came with his fame and his money and his complicated past. That was what he still needed from her. Despite the doctor's opinion that his decision was based on an irrational adolescent desire of total acceptance and the warning that he might be expecting too much of Ana he had not changed his mind: he will not hide from her who he was, who he had become. When he got home from that particular therapy session he asked Samantha to accompany him to Columbia.

And now here he was, forcing his back and his limbs to relax and carefully arranging his face in an impassive expression, his eyes resting on the university emblem hanging above the entrance at the back of the room, using his flippant comment to one of Dr Renner's worst case scenarios to reassure himself that he will cope with this day's challenges: _'Then I'll pay you a fucking fortune to keep me sane'_.

**AN: Next chapter _Teddy's_ graduation (this is after all his day)**


	22. Summer Storm Ch23 First impressions

**For your reading pleasure - I hope! - the graduation ceremony featuring Eddy Parson (aka Teddy Grey) and Christian Grey in all his glory.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch23 First impressions

From his second row seat, Eddy turned his head to look for Carol-Ann. The Honors College students were all seated in alphabetical order in the front four rows so he spotted her just a few seats to his left. Their eyes met briefly and she flashed him a smile but then turned her head to look away. Eddy sighed and started looking around for other familiar faces. He could only hope that she and Nick would soon sort out whatever it was that was going on between them. The past few days had left him with the distinct impression that they were avoiding him and the few conversations he had had with either of them had been unusually short and awkward.

He traded a few smiles and nods with a few other students but most of his colleagues from the philosophy and political sciences department were seated further back in the room. In the Honors College they all had different majors and therefore few courses together. Besides he had been too busy concentrating on his studies and his internship to build a true social circle. As to personal relationships, while he was not a recluse he was quite content on spending time on his own. His good looks had always attracted a lot of female attention but nobody had sparked his interest enough to make him want to put true effort into a relationship. Hannah, his girlfriend for the better part of this last year, had been a kindred soul, as focused on her goals as he was on his: more a friend with benefits than a girlfriend. They had said their good byes Sunday evening and as much as he was going to miss the easy relaxed atmosphere between them, they both knew that they were now going in different directions.

A flurry of activity at the front of the room caught his attention. A small group of people had entered from the left side of the stage and were now taking their seats in the VIP area: an elderly lady accompanied by a middle aged man and a young woman. He briefly wondered who the elite seated in the reserved seats were, but then the Announcer tapped on the microphone and the soft rumble of muted voices died down. This was it: his graduation, the recognition of the past four years of hard work, his ticket into the world beyond Rock Hill and Southern Carolina. At the Announcer's request he rose with the rest of the room and the motion felt oddly symbolic: the happy childhood memories in a quiet relatively small town will stay with him, his love for his parents and his brother and sister would never change, but it was time for him to stand up and make his own way into the world.

The procession of university dignitaries took several minutes but eventually the last group took their seats on the stage. In the front row, between the President of the University and the Chairman of the Board of Trustees, his light grey suit contrasting with the dark robes surrounding him, sat Carol-Ann's nemesis: Christian Grey. From her initial frustration over the terms of the Rose Award to her subsequent obsession with the man, Eddy had already heard more than he cared to know about Grey. For all their conversations - or rather for all the times he had sat listening to Carol-Ann ramble about him - the only picture he had seen was the one sent by the GEH public relations department for the official graduation page. As he sat down again he took his first good look at the man: confidence was the first word that came to mind. Something in his demeanor, the way he sat with his back straight and his head held high, his eyes roaming over the room, taking it in, assessing it, telegraphed that this was a man who was used to being judge and jury and absolute ruler of his world. There was no pretense that he was one of the people, and yet there was no impression of arrogance or disdain either. He did not look disinterested or bored or annoyed. He looked…purposeful, in charge, even in this environment where he was a stranger, a mere guest. Poor Carol-Ann had never stood a chance!

Eddy straightened up in his seat and crossed his legs and around him other spines straightened and chins were pushed forward, the change of position an unconscious attempt to emulate the easy confidence that oozed off their guest speaker

Christian Grey's eyes were slowly gliding over the room and when they reached him the unusual grey eyes briefly met his and then moved away. The encounter had only lasted less than a second, enough however for Eddy to feel…something: some sort of kinship, a spark of recognition. The feeling of a connection between him and this strange man was both comforting and unsettling at the same time and Carol-Ann's comment about his resemblance to Grey echoed somewhere in the recess of his mind. Taking advantage of the fact that those inquisitive eyes had moved away from him he studied the man's face trying to spot any resemblance: maybe something in the line of the jaw, the way the eyebrows were slightly curved and stretched almost to the corner of his eyes… He noticed Grey smiling at the people seated in the VIP area and a flash of disappointment shot through him. His first impression of Grey had been that he was above that, above pandering to the rich and powerful. His authority and power had seemed…absolute, like a fact, a law of nature, independent of others opinion. Shaking his head at his own naivety Eddy was about to peel his eyes away from the guest of honor when the man's demeanor suddenly changed: his shoulders stiffened in a straight line, his jaws clenched and his eyes, focused on something at the back of the hall, had become hard and unyielding, the color of melting silver now changed to that of cold hard steel. Mesmerized Eddy didn't dare turn his head and by the time he regained control over his own muscles the anger had vanished and the controlled business man was back. Wondering what the hell had rattled His Majesty, Eddy tried to pay attention to the President's words.

Fortunately the speech ended just before it crossed from not really interesting into boring and the Announcer stepped forward to introduce the guest speaker.

"Ladies and gentlemen, at this point in the ceremony I would normally introduce your Commencement Speaker. This year however, at the request of the graduation committee, the introduction will be made by Mr Dale Abrams, Chief Financial Officer of Taylor &amp; Sons, a respected member of the business and finance community and, I am told, an acquaintance of our guest of honor."

Eddy noticed Grey frowning and with a sinking feeling turned his head to look at Carol-Ann. The smirk on her face confirmed she had something to do with this change in protocol. His curiosity piqued, he watched a man in his sixties or so, dressed in a dark colored suit, advance to the lectern, shake hands with the Announcer and without further ado launch into…the Gettysburg Address?

The curtains covering the far wall retracted to reveal a map of The United States of America and people started shifting in their seats, the flutter of movement indicating that he was not the only one who barely stifled a groan at the "Four score and seven years ago our fathers" coming from the lectern. The unrest in the room caused the speaker to stop mid-sentence and frown.

"Oh sorry, wrong speech" he said and a collective sigh of relief and few chuckles echoed in the room.

In a less monotone voice he resumed: "The truth is that the story I am here to tell starts some years in the past and involves my father. About forty years ago my father quit his job and with his life savings opened a small store in Seattle, Washington."

The map on the back wall zoomed in until only the state of Washington remained visible.

"Ten years later he opened a second store and had saved enough money to put both my brother and me through college. Fast forward another few years and before the ink on my accounting degree was quite dry I had joined my brother to work in the family business."

The map zoomed in until only the city of Seattle remained visible.

"That proved to be a rather unfortunate decision, as in our enthusiasm and inexperience my brother and I insisted on further expansion of the business and started borrowing heavily to fund both the expansion and our overgenerous salaries. By then the competition in our market had grown considerably and our third store cold barely pay for itself, let alone generate any income. Inevitably the day came when we had to face reality: either find a buyer for the business or file for bankruptcy. The offers we received for the stores were small and sometimes less than what we would have ended up with if we just filed for bankruptcy and so this is what we did. The process takes some time but a couple of month later, on the Monday of the week that was going to be our last one in business, a young man entered the main store and asked to speak with my father."

At this last sentence the numbers 2003 lit up in big gold letters above the map of Seattle and the look of concentration that had frozen the traits of the Commencement Speaker in a slight frown relaxed in astonished recognition. His eyes swept over the seated students and when they found their target his head leaned to one side in a questioning gesture. The smirk on Carol-Ann's face turned into an impish grin, her chin jutting out in defiance. Grey raised one eyebrow in response then returned his attention to the man at the lectern.

"Once we were all seated in my father's office, the young man jumped straight to the point and informed us that he was interested in buying our business, which was valued at around half a million dollars, except he didn't have any cash to put on the table. The funds he did have - 100,000 dollars - were needed to pay half our debt and convince the bank to give him another year to pay the rest."

The speaker stretched out his arms in a theatrical gesture making them all a witness to the ridiculousness of the proposal. His efforts were rewarded with chuckles and a few laughs from the audience which quickly died under Grey's sweeping gaze and the smug look on his face.

With mock dejection Mr Abrams brought his hands back to rest on the sides of the lectern and let his shoulders sag a little. "Believe it or not that is exactly what he did. The offer he made to my father was that instead of getting any money upfront he will receive 50,000 USD a year for ten years. For the best part of that morning my father sat quietly in his chair at the head of the table and listened to my brother and I verbally spar with that determined young man. In the end he took the offer - and my mother - and moved to California, while my brother and I were left to find some other form of gainful employment. As to what became of our small bankrupt family business in the hands of someone who knew what they were doing…"

Dale Abrams freed the microphone from its stand and moved a little to the left of the lectern then continued: "The inquisitive and enthusiastic group of students who have found me and convinced me that coming here today was a good idea, have prepared a visual representation," - he turned to look at the map of Seattle inducing those in the seats on the stage to also turn to look at it- "starting with our three small stores," he said and three dots of light blinked into existence on the map, then one dot disappeared and as the year counter above the map changed to 2004 another one appeared in a different place on the city map.

2005 and 2006 showed two more lights appearing in Seattle then the map zoomed out to encompass the whole of the United States and a bright dot appeared somewhere close to Michigan. The counter reached 2007 and half the lights in the Seattle area went off while a new one appeared over New York. For 2008 the image zoomed out again to a world map to show a new location somewhere in the Far East and then more small shining dots marking GEH locations started highlighting various places in and outside the United States. Finally the numbers above the map read 2011 and Dale Abrams resumed his speech: "Eight years later the three mobile phone stores had been sold again, the company had been re-branded as GEH and its value had reached 1 billion dollars."

Each one of Dale Abram's next words caused the year count above the map to advance by one year giving his sentence an odd rhythm: "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to introduce to you today's guest of honor and your Commencement Speaker, Mr Christian Grey."

With each year the number of GEH locations on the map had increased until most of the United States, several European countries, a handful of locations in the Far East and South America and even a few around Africa were highlighted. Dale Abrams finished his speech as the year count reached 2033. The dots of light on the far wall of the venue were now painting the map of a business empire encompassing four continents and the room erupted in thunderous applause as Christian Grey rose in one fluid movement to walk across the stage and shake the speaker's hand.

Eddy's respect and admiration for the man behind this impressing achievement had grown steadily throughout the introductory speech. While the two men at the front were exchanging a few words, he could not help but notice the differences between them: Dale Abrams in his dark suit had blended in with the others on the stage and his demeanor had been warm and relaxed, creating an impression of familiarity and closeness with the audience. In contrast, with his light colored suit Grey stood out and despite the enthusiastic handshake and the smile on his face his spine was still straight, his shoulders pushed back and his head held high. He tried to picture Grey as a twenty year old battling with two sons for their father's business under the old man's watchful eyes and the true message of the presentation dawned on Eddy: Grey's confidence and authority had not come with his vast fortune and influential position in the business community. The business and the money were a mere consequence, a logical outcome of who he was.

Addressing the seated leadership of the University Grey launched into his speech: "Thank you Mr President for inviting me to share this special moment with the graduates of 2033 and their families and friends."

He then turned to face the expectant audience: "It is an honor to be here today and have this opportunity to address so many young people who have already achieved so much and are preparing to take the leap into the great adventure that is life beyond the well-organized environment of the study halls, class rooms and libraries of their colleges."

Christian Grey's eyes shifted from generally looking over the hall to directly addressing the students in the chairs on the floor of the venue: "Once you step out there you will meet a world that has been shaped by your parents and teachers, by your employers and politicians and by a host of events over which you had no control and in which you had no say. Do not let the existing order of that world deter you: it is now your turn to take it on, conquer it and shape it to your liking."

His words were not a plea or a gentle encouragement from a mentor or a parent. His body language and his tone were more akin to those of a general giving marching orders to his troops and the students responded to the challenge: shouts of 'hell yeah', 'you bet', 'amen' and 'go gamecocks' rose from the rows of robed soon to be graduates.

"Today I am going to talk about the Rose Award and the role it plays in this great challenge lying ahead of you. First however I want to acknowledge the effort and creativity that the graduation committee has put into the presentation you have just seen. I am deeply impressed by the blend of inquisitiveness, resourcefulness and determination that has made it possible. What you have presented to us today is the embodiment of my message to you all: you _are_ capable of taking on the established order and twist it into something new and unexpected. Well done!"

Something in the way Grey's eyes targeted a few chosen students in the audience made Eddy suspect that he didn't just look in control but that he actually had a measure of it even among 5,000 or so strangers in the room. His suspicion was confirmed when they stopped on Carol-Ann: the man knew exactly who the students in the committee were and where they were seated!

"At such short notice I can think of no other way to reward your efforts than to share with you a personal memory, something I believe not even you extensive research has uncovered. In the second year at Harvard, for my term paper, I got a C-. The professor also commented that I seemed to have failed to assimilate the most basic business principles and the concepts of corporate finance and suggested that I should choose a different major."

As the map of GEH locations all over the world was still glowing behind him, chuckles and a few laughs erupted around the room. Grey however just shook his head at them all.

"The truth is that from his point of view the professor was correct. His task was to evaluate how well I had assimilated the theories he had been teaching us all year and my ability to apply them to a practical example. I, on the other hand, had spent the better part of the year and the entirety of the assignment commenting, debating and occasionally contradicting said theories. Fortunately by that time his opinion did no longer have any bearing on my future career. I had found my passion, heard my siren call, and I already had my eyes set on a relatively small family business that had recently filed for bankruptcy. That passion has stayed with me and to this day it is my driving force and my source of inspiration. One of the reasons behind the Rose Award is my gratitude that I was fortunate enough to find that passion and that I had the opportunity to act on it."

Grey had relaxed a little while he was recounting his student days but he was now tensing up again and his eyes had regained that intensity Eddy had found so compelling and which he had come to associate with the idea of Christian Grey. He could feel his own muscles tense in response and it dawned on him that Grey was building up to something.

"For those of you who are unfamiliar with the award, the rules are simple and boil down to 'write something about anything that interests you'. To make it accessible for as many students as possible, there are no pre-requisites of a particular course of study or any rules for what to write or how. The intention is to offer the participants an opportunity to speak for their dreams, make a case for them, defend them. In the ten years since the award has been founded winning papers have spanned an array of subjects as diverse as you are. Literary compositions of course, but also political speeches, economy analysis, a passionate defense of the need to study geology as a pre-requisite to becoming a jeweler which has forever changed the way I look at a diamond, even a paper lyrically describing the beauty and necessity of mathematics."

Again Grey went from addressing the whole room to speaking more directly to the students: "With a bewildering array of choices to make about careers and studies and with a host of well-meaning advisers whispering in your ears, the danger is that your own voice will be lost in the cacophony. So whether you win or not, or even if you never send your paper in, just taking the time to think about what you really like, what piques your interest and inspires you to learn and grow, fulfills the intention with the award."

Grey lifted his gaze to encompass the whole room and moved a little further away from the edge of the stage creating more distance between him and his captive audience.

"The prize, consisting of a large sum of money and publication of the winning paper, was meant simply as a means to an end: to entice as many as possible to take the challenge. The concept of the award has been criticized many times and one of the more persistent such critics is in the audience with us today. The objection most commonly raised is that judging students of all academic backgrounds by the same standards gives an unfair advantage to those who are specifically trained to produce written compositions."

The last few sentences had been delivered in an even, matter of fact tone, but Eddy thought he knew where this was going and he did not dare look at Carol-Ann for fear it will attract attention to her. As if to confirm he was justified in his apprehension, Grey's voice took on a harder edge:

"Taken out of context this would be a valid point, but as the main purpose of the challenge was to make you think about your goals and reinforce your determination to pursue them, arguments about the distribution of the material gains were not going to sway me."

He paused to let the word sink then to Eddy's surprise he shook his head and let his shoulders drop a little. He even allowed his voice to mellow to a warmer tone.

"One of today's graduates however made a different argument. In one of the many passionate letters she wrote on this subject she quoted my own words back to me: _'The art of leadership is not to discover and make use of talent where it is found, but to create opportunities for talent to reveal itself, to grow and expand beyond what the individual had thought possible. A leader should therefore resist the temptation to be a user of talent and strive to become an enabler.'_ She made her point by concluding that _'beyond the financial gain and the five minutes of fame that come with having your paper published, winning this award gives the candidate a better chance of pursuing their dreams, of turning them into tangible reality.'_

The sound of fabric rubbing against plastic chairs and feet shuffling on the floor were the only sounds left in the vast arena. Everything he had seen and heard today had impressed upon Eddy that Grey was not a man you cross or criticize. He had recognized the words and knew exactly who had written them and the only reason he didn't feel like telling her to run was because Grey had seemed to back off instead of delivering his message with his former intensity and authority. What happened next was so unexpected it wasn't until several minutes later, while a seemingly endless line of students queued to get their diplomas, that he realized **that** had been the precise moment when he had irrevocably become "team Grey".

Christian Grey resumed his usual self-assured demeanor and stepped forward to his former place close to the edge of the stage to deliver his verdict:

"Fair point, well made. Starting with next year candidates for the Rose Award will have the possibility to choose between a literary category and a professional one. The literature award will remain unchanged and recognize one winner from each of the ten universities that have been chosen for that particular year. The professional award will be granted to two candidates from each university and offer them the option of one year paid internship at any GEH location, in the department of their choice."

Not deterred by the murmur of voices getting louder and the people shifting in their seats to confer with their neighbors Grey continued: "This year the awards for the Professional category have been conferred to the second and third best entries from each university and letters have already been posted to that effect to eighteen of the winners. For the remaining two, the members of the board of trustees and your president have granted me permission to recognize them in front of this assembly."

His last words were barely audible above the thunder of applause and he used the interruption to nod towards the back of the stage. A man stepped forward and deposited two envelopes on the lectern that had remained unused throughout his speech and Grey moved to stand close to the wooden piece of furniture.

"Mr President, members of the board of trustees, faculty, ladies and gentlemen, graduates of the class of 2033, on behalf of the Rose Award committee it is my pleasure to present this year's winners of the Professional category from the University of South Carolina. For his entry debating the pitfalls of the methods used to recruit new employees in medium and large enterprises: Mr Matthew Purslow."

A new round of applause echoed through the room as somewhere towards the middle of the floor one student found himself pushed, pulled and vigorously clapped on his back and shoulders while awkwardly making his way to the front of the room.

Grey patiently waited until the first winner had made his way back to his chair and then continued: "Both Mr Purslow and the second winner have received unanimous votes from the Rose Award committee. This second winner however also had a strong support from my PR department. For her unorthodox entry making the case for the benefits of public administration and for her relentless stream of passionate letters leading to this change in the structure of the Rose Award: Miss Carol-Ann O'Shea."

**AN: Next chapter will cover the end of the ceremony and the after parties. **


	23. Summer Storm Ch24 When it rains it pours

**AN: Hope you have all had a great week! Before we get to the nitty gritty, big shout out to "motherbeatrice" who had read all the previous chapters in one day! Ready to wreak havoc with everybody's carefully crafted plans? Hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I have enjoyed writing it.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch24 When it rains it pours

While an endless stream of students made their way to the stage then passed by him on their way back to their seats, Eddy allowed his mind to replay the events of the morning, committing as much as he could to memory. Christian Grey, he had decided, was a genius. His business achievements paled in comparison with what he had done with his speech. Some of it had to be pre-prepared, but his surprise at the presentation had been genuine and the way he had taken that and used it to illustrate his message had to have been a spontaneous addition. The tale of his own moment of challenging his teachers leading to building his empire was possibly already planned but it had been seamlessly woven into his rearranged speech. The Rose Award was an immediate example of the same success at challenging the status quo: a change brought about by one of their own that will affect dozens if not hundreds of others in the future. Grey's parting words had spelled it out for those who had not got the message: "_The world is your oyster and the pearl inside it, is you."_

And then there was the way he had worked the room: taking turns in including the whole audience or addressing just the gallery or just the graduates, making his message more personal. His voice, passionate and commanding in the beginning, then steady and measured, letting his words build up the tension. Physically backing off just as the tension was about to turn into fear, followed by the surprise and joy of the recognition of Matthew and especially Carol-Ann's efforts, all of it building up to his final message. By then nobody in the room was left unaffected and most, Eddy suspected, were like him: itching to go out there and do as bid.

The man himself had resumed his seat on the stage and seemed to keep his eyes on the procession of graduates shaking hands with their President and the deans of the colleges. Eddy found himself leaning a little forward in his chair, willing him to look his way, in the moment envious of Carol-Ann and Matthew who had attracted his praise and his attention. He tried to remember the details of the GEH subsidiaries and whether there were any in the Boston area. He had missed his chance with the Rose Award, but maybe he could apply for an internship anyway, build a reputation in his company. Judging by the determined looks on some of the faces around him and the eyes also fixed on Grey, he might face some competition, but that was not something he was afraid of.

Finally it was the turn of the Honors College graduates to receive their diplomas and as Christian Grey stood to join the President, Eddy remembered he too will have the chance to at least shake his hand. For the next few minutes he watched his classmates do just that: some just briefly, some stopping to say a few words. When his name was called he barely touched the President's hand before his arm was stretched out to Grey and their eyes connected again. That spark of recognition from earlier in the morning was still there and drawing him closer like a magnet until their hands touched in a firm grip.

"Congratulations on your achievements and the best of luck in the future." Grey said, his eyes boring into Eddy's, his hand enveloping his.

"Thank you Mr Grey, I'll always remember today and what you have told us." Eddy managed to deliver the short message he had thought out while standing in the queue and then it was time for him to let go and move on across the stage.

Behind him Christian greeted the next student and the gesture took a little less effort than before. He had applied himself to summon some enthusiasm for each of the eager and hopeful faces in front of him and he had fleetingly made note of their reactions. But of the two hundred or so faces he scanned, there was only one that truly mattered to him and his reward had been greater than he had dared to hope for: Teddy had been eager to shake his hand and had let him know that he had liked his speech. He had made an impression on his son! He was riding high on that feeling and his congratulations to the following students felt less like a means to an end as he allowed himself to soak some of the excitement in the atmosphere of the hall.

For the last part of the ceremony, back in his seat on the stage, he kept his eyes on the back of the room, fighting the urge to look at Teddy, to drink in his features and bask in his approval. There was one more thing he had to do. Regardless of the consequences he could not let this occasion pass him by. When the song finished and he stood with the rest of the board, he slowly raised his head and deliberately focused his eyes on the seats in the middle of the gallery and a little to the right. His grey eyes met her blue ones and he nodded once before he tore himself away and followed the President of the university off the stage.

From the VIP section Elliot Grey followed his brother's gaze and at the sight of the shining blue eyes, his jaw tightened with an almost audible crunch.

On the other side of the Atlantic Ocean Kate had just finished watching the live feed from Teddy's graduation and, from the window of her hotel room, was staring unseeing at the majestic silhouette of the Eiffel Tower dominating the landscape. Her hope that Christian's presence there was mere coincidence had been dashed spectacularly when the camera switched from the President of the University to sweep over the audience: in what could only be a VIP area on the left side of the venue, the presence of Samantha, Grace and Elliot Grey had no other possible explanation than that he knew, that they all knew. How long had he known? Her first thought had been for Ana. What must she be going through seeing Grace and Elliot there and would she figure out who Samantha was? But the sadness that gripped her now and held her motionless, unable to move and barely able to breathe, was because of what that meant for her own marriage. How long had Elliot known? If she confronted him about it she would have to admit to the full extent of her involvement and if she didn't it would be yet another secret weighing down their relationship. Either way the distance between her and her husband was growing to an abyss she no longer had any real hope of being able to fill.

* * *

In Columbia, the sky that had been a deep blue in the morning was now covered by a blanket of white clouds and the air felt heavy with moisture. Between the queue for the photographer and a brief stop by Eddy's apartment it was another hour before the Parsons were finally seated around the table they had reserved for Eddy's graduation lunch. As much as Ana, Dan and Nick tried to stir the conversation away from the ceremony and the Commencement Speaker, both Eddy and Emma seemed to find an endless amount of titbits to talk about. To the increasing discomfort of their parents and older brother they mostly pointed out what a strong impression the Commencement Speaker had made on them. For the moment the subject was the slightly less uncomfortable one of the Rose Award:

"For the literature people the 10,000 dollars would certainly be welcome, but Carol-Ann was right that the publication is just five minutes of fame, no offense mom," Eddy was saying. "For the others however with one year internship at GEH, if they do it right, that's a guaranteed career down the line."

"Isn't that a little optimistic?" asked Dan. "I mean a lot of people get good references from their internships; it doesn't mean they automatically get jobs afterwards."

"It's not just an internship, it's at GEH. It's like getting your degree from an Ivy League university." Eddy explained. "There are a few companies like that, where interns don't just dig a trench walking between the copying and the coffee machines, but actually do some work, and GEH is one of them. Also the references are never just a collection of standard platitudes. Someone at least at middle management level would write a proper evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses, of what would make you a desirable employee. Just the fact that somebody has been good enough to get an internship at one of these companies is known to have secured them a job. Speaking of which, have you seen Carol-Ann today?" Eddy turned to his brother, barely stopping for breath.

"No, she was with her family. Her grandparents wanted to introduce her to some people."

"Oh, yeah, the VIP area," Eddy remembered yet again jumping to a different subject. "What was that about? Were we supposed to know who those people were?"

This time there was no mistaking the charged silence that followed his question nor did Eddy miss the look that passed between his parents and his mother's nod of approval to his dad.

"Eddy, when we get home tomorrow, or maybe Saturday if it gets too late tomorrow, your mother and I need to talk to you about something," said Dan. "It's a long story and today is about celebrating your graduation, so everything else can wait another day, OK?"

Eddy frowned looking from one parent to another. "Why can't you tell me now?"

"I think it's better if we wait until we get home." Ana's voice was soft, a little hesitant. "I want you to remember this day for just your graduation." She smiled at him although it did not reach her eyes.

"How about a toast?" said Nick, already pouring some of the wine into four glasses.

"Oh, wait, let me get my phone so I can take a picture" Emma jumped out of her chair almost knocking it over in her haste.

"Easy." Eddy laughed and steadied her. "You know we'll have the official pictures in a few days, right?"

"Yeah, but Nick already has a ton of pictures and he is not even sharing all of them so I'd like to have my own."

The conversation finally moved away from the Commencement Speaker into sibling teasing and summer plans and Ana and Dan could relax a little and enjoy the meal and the company before it was time to head back to finish packing Eddy's apartment. Eddy had made plans for the evening to meet with friends at one of the bars in town and Carol-Ann and Nick were also going to join him, so Emma, Dan and Ana were left to their own devices for a second night in a row.

* * *

Eddy and Nick arrived early and secured a table just by the entrance so they could easily wave Eddy's friends over as soon as they showed up. The place was chosen to be some distance from the campus, just outside of town, and people were going to drop in for one last night together before they went their separate ways, as and when they could get away from their families. By eight the place was packed and loud and the beers and shots had been flowing, although Eddy refrained from drinking anymore after the first beer. His mom was right, he wanted to remember this night. Carol-Ann had disappeared somewhere and Eddy was engrossed in a conversation with his immediate neighbour so Nick caught the eye of one of the other guys at the table and jutted his chin to the now empty pitcher of Tequila. "Shall we get another one?"

Eddy watched his brother and Ron get up a little unsteadily and walk towards the bar then returned to his conversation.

"Guys, would you move the phone so I can put these down?" Ron asked when he returned, his hands full with a tray sporting a pitcher of tequila and half a dozen beers.

"Oh, that's Nick's." said Eddy and moved the phone and the few empty bottles from the middle of the table. "Where is he?"

"Some chick was hitting on him so I think he made an escape to the men's room" laughed Ron.

"I'll better go get Carol-Ann back, then" said one of the girls giggling and both she and another girl disappeared into the crowd.

In the momentary lull in conversation, with Ron and Matt busy sampling the drinks and the girls and his brother gone, Eddy leaned back in his chair to just enjoy the sight and sounds of his friends scattered around the room.

Outside, the white clouds from lunch time had turned to grey and as the first raindrops hit the windshield of his car, while his eyes were methodically swiping the parking lot and the entrance door of the bar, Jason Taylor wondered for the umpteenth time just what the hell he was doing, lurking in a parking lot. As before, there was no definite answer to that question: ensure the young man's life was allowed to continue undisturbed by the mistakes of the past or maybe help explain and defuse some of the anger and hurt that were bound to surface should the truth come out, or maybe waiting for an opportunity to finally be able to confess his mistakes and perhaps seek some kind of closure for himself… What was certain is that he could not ignore this gut feeling that he had to be there and keep an eye on Teddy Grey while his father was in town.

He had arrived in Columbia the previous morning and had noticed he had acquired a tail less than an hour later. There was no doubt in his mind who had arranged for his surveillance and so far he had not done anything to try and shake them. If he was right in his assumptions the man following him was as much a professional as he was, and if - or when - the need arose, he would only have one chance at getting away. Besides, on this improvised self-assigned mission he only had one trick up his sleeve: the lights on his car didn't switch on from the ignition key; he had to press a separate button to turn them on, giving him a head start of maybe two seconds. A look in his rear view mirror confirmed his tail was parked just a few spaces behind him. Eddy Parson aka Teddy Grey's car was one space ahead and to the right, which means he was placed between the door of the bar and the young man's car. Teddy's own surveillance had chosen to park closer to the entrance and was now probably mingling with the other students inside and keeping an eye on him. He allowed himself to slide in a more comfortable position and settled in for what could well be a long wait.

Oblivious to all the attention, Eddy was debating with himself whether to snoop through his brother's phone. With a little distance from the graduation ceremony and away from the influence of the larger than life personality of Christian Grey, his infatuation with the man and the exhilaration of the ceremony were cooling down a little and he missed that feeling. Emma had mentioned Nick taking pictures… One last look around the busy room confirmed Nick was nowhere in sight for him to ask permission, so vowing that he will only look at the graduation pictures and nothing else, he swiped his finger over the screen to wake up the device.

* * *

In the years to come Eddy would eventually be grateful that he had been given an opportunity to form an opinion about Christian Grey before he became aware of their biological connection. For now the pictures on his brother's phone had left him with a mixture of anger, hope, hurt and above all confusion, bringing his mental faculties to a standstill. His heart was alternating between hard fast beats knocking on his ribcage and long pauses that left him lightheaded. The suspicion that his new found idol and role model might be the same as the faceless nameless man that had rejected him and his mother was growing stronger with every second he kept looking at the pictures. He was desperately looking for some other explanation, but his mind was not cooperating and instead kept playing fragments of conversations and snippets of memories over and over again: 'if I didn't know you were from Rock Hill', 'how much you look like him', 'the VIP, were we supposed to know who they are', 'there's something we need to tell you'.

Worse than any other was the memory of that outstretched hand and the controlled words spoken in a low voice: '_Congratulations on your achievements'_, his hand touching him, the grey eyes boring into him.

There were only five pictures and he had seen all of them: Aunt Kate in her wedding dress, arm in arm with an obviously pregnant Anastasia Grey- except that was not Anastasia Grey, that was his mother!-; the announcement of the birth of Christian and Anastasia Grey's son – Theodore Raymond Grey, named after his paternal great grandfather, Judge Theodore Drake Trevelyan, and his maternal grandfather, Raymond Steele –; Aunt Kate again, this time smiling her dazzling smile in the article naming her business woman of the year and revealing her hyphenated last name; a picture of Christian Grey with his mother and brother at the inauguration of something called 'The Carrick Grey Law Centre'. In the end it was the first one, the picture of 'Christian Grey and friend' he had returned to: taken when Grey was much closer to his age, at first he had thought it was a clever reconstruction of one of his own pictures but with Grey's hair and eye colour. Some sort of prank his brother intended to play on him…

This is how Nick and Carol-Ann found him, walking back from wherever they had been, arms around each other.

"Hey, that's my phone!" Nick said, his voice still rich with laughter from a joke.

Eddy raised his head with vacant eyes and a blank expression and his first thought was that his brother was drunk, so he reached to take the piece of electronics out of his hand before he dropped it. Then he saw the picture and the rest of the room vanished from his awareness as he recognized the blank look for what it was: the result of a mind overwhelmed with information it didn't want to accept.

"Fuck, Eddy. How much did you see?"

Eddy's jaw muscles were working but his lips were not moving and his eyes remained glazed and distant. Slowly, carefully, as if approaching a wounded animal, Nick sat down besides his brother.

"Eddy, I'm sorry, this is not how you were supposed to find out," he said, hoping – praying - for a reaction; anything but that blank look.

He got his wish: Eddy's facial muscles tensed and his pupils shrank until all that remained were pinpoints of black marking the centre of two hard glinting sapphires.

"How long have you had these?"

"Just a few days, Saturday night. Look, Eddy, it's a long story and it's not what you think. I mean it is, some of it, but not everything. Mom was going to tell you this weekend. Maybe we should get home. Now that you know…"

Nick's rushed and barely coherent flow of words came to an abrupt halt as Eddy stood and grabbed his jacket form the back of the chair.

"I need some air" he said spinning on his heel and taking the three steps between their table and the door.

Nick's shout of '_Eddy wait'_ got lost in the commotion created when he pushed the chair out of his way to reach after his brother only to collide with a short stocky student. Before he had time to react he was lying flat on his back with an angry female striding him, her hand raised, fist clenched. His jujitsu training kicked in and he reflexively raised his left arm to block the impending punch but then the weight was gone from his chest as suddenly as it had appeared. He rolled to his knees and got on his feet only to almost be knocked over again as in one fluid movement his impromptu sparring partner fished her handbag from under their table, rose to her feet and disappeared thorough the door. Ignoring the attention the commotion had drawn, he was just one step behind her and caught the door before it had time to close again, frantically trying to locate his brother in the rain now pouring down from black skies.

In the parking lot Jason Taylor straightened up in his chair as Teddy Grey ran past him and stopped with both hands resting on the roof of his car. The young man turned his head back towards the bar but Jason resisted the temptation to do the same – 'eyes on the mark at all times' was a lesson he had learned the hard way – so when Teddy removed his hands from the car, one hand retrieving his keys from his pocket to unlock the door and the other yanking the door open almost before the key was out of the socket, he was ready. As Teddy's car lights switched on, his own engine was already running preparing to block the young man at the first sign he was going to do something stupid, like flooring it out of the parking lot in the night and the downpour of rain. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a shadow fast moving towards the front of his car and his left foot crushed the brake pedal. He only lost two seconds backing off the now recognizable silhouette of Nick Parson and switched gears again to chase after his self-assigned mark before the rear end of Teddy's car could disappear into traffic.

He had no time for cursing. Cursing is what they do in the movies. In real life you stay focused, your brain power dedicated to calculating paths between other cars rather than coming up with colourful expletives. Fortunately the traffic was light and he only had to overtake one car before he was in position just behind Teddy. At first he was relieved to notice that they were moving just a little above the speed limit of 55 and took a moment to get his bearings: they were driving towards town centre, light traffic, heavy rain, behind him his tail had fallen into place and a quick glimpse of his face in the rear view window informed him the man was not happy. This time Jason did curse, as he finally remembered to switch on his lights. He hoped the guy would think it was a malfunction but would not bank on it. Teddy's own surveillance was also catching up with them: just a few more seconds and they'll be a four car convoy. Which was not necessarily a good thing, certainly not when speeding at night and through the rain, destination unknown. As traffic lights changed colour in the distance he got one more reason to worry: Teddy didn't slow down until he was way too close to the lights for Taylor's liking. With the interstate approaching fast, every single one of his instincts was shouting at him to put an end to this little adventure before something really bad happened. His options however were severely limited: short of ramming Teddy's car there was not much else he could do but follow and keep his eyes peeled. Another set of traffic lights appeared in the distance and then, between the green light ahead and Teddy's car, a pair of bright headlights, on the wrong side of the road.

With no more time to do anything but act on his single option, Taylor downshifted, accelerated to catch up with Teddy and rammed him sideways pushing him out of the way. Desperate to put some distance between Teddy and the lunatic ahead he kept his foot down on the accelerator gunning straight towards the lights ahead. He was close enough to stare into the frozen, unblinking eyes of the other drivers when something hit his car from behind sending it into a spin that left it sideways on the street with the hood of the approaching car now imbedded in his passenger door. He vaguely registered the hair rising grating sound of metal against metal then the sharp pain in his chest as darkness engulfed him.

Elizabeth Baer, Betty to her friends, was finally only two cars behind the man she was supposed to protect. It would have not been so bad except that right behind him - where she should have been! - was the only man she had been given specific orders to keep away. Still reeling from having been delayed exiting the bar she was taking a calculated risk speeding through the blanket of rain to catch up with her charge when in front of her all hell broke loose: Jason Taylor suddenly accelerated past Eddy Parson and rammed him sideways. With one less car to obstruct her view the approaching headlights on their side of the road made her reflexively hit the brake. The car in front of her accelerated and seemed to overtake Taylor then veered to the right, hit the end of Taylor's car sending it into a spin, and went off road on the right side narrowly avoiding Eddy's car standing still just beside the motorway. She watched in horror as the grotesque T-shape formed by Taylor's car and whoever it was that was driving the wrong way was carried forward another few feet by the momentum of their collision, and then everything came to a standstill.

Cursing her shaking hands she stopped alongside Eddy's car, grabbed her phone to press the pre-programmed key and rushed out into the pouring rain to get her first aid kit from the booth. Her call was answered as, kit in hand, she was dashing to check on her charge: "911, what's your emergency?"

* * *

In the historic district of the town of Columbia, Christian Grey was playing his role of guest of honour at the President of the University's dinner table. The graduation ceremony had been followed by a light lunch with the members of the board of the university and a few VIPs all keen to make his acquaintance and competing for his attention. That had been followed by two hours spent in conference calls and replying to emails and then a session in the hotel gym with Elliot and Samantha, which left him with only an hour before he had to change for dinner. His remaining task was not something he wanted to rush, or risk being interrupted until he was done, so he had postponed it until after dinner.

With most of the guests being members of the faculty rather than the usual collection of business people and socialites, the last hour or so had been surprisingly pleasant, the conversation flowing mostly around arts and science. Samantha and Elliot had politely declined the invitation and made plans to spend the evening at the hotel, but Grace Grey was seated across from him engrossed in a conversation about European architecture. As nice as the evening had turned out to be, his mind was mostly somewhere else and he was keen to get back to his suite. In his peripheral vision Greg McKenzie entered the room, a military spring in his step replacing the fluid grace he usually displayed in social situations.

"Mr Grey, I apologize for the interruption but there is something requiring your attention."

Christian Grey did not hesitate to excuse himself from the table and follow his head of personal security to the elegant foyer beyond the dining room: Greg McKenzie was the best man he had had for the job in almost twenty years and he would never interrupt unless the reason was genuine.

**AN: SPOLIER ALERT - **_nobody dies in this story_**! Next chapter: another collision, of a different kind...**


	24. Summer Strorm Ch25 A blast from the past

**AN: I know what you all expect from this chapter but the problem with things going pear shaped in life is that they no longer gently roll in one predictable direction.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 25 A blast from the past

The heavy rain had confined Ana, Dan and Emma to their hotel room. All Eddy's belongings were now packed and ready to be loaded in the cars in the morning and after the graduation lunch nobody was hungry enough for a big dinner so they had had a quick meal in a small diner just outside the hotel. When Dan's phone rang, Emma was lying on her bed with her headphones on and alternated between texting and reading a magazine while Dan was idly changing TV channels as nothing really caught his attention. Ana was even less interested in whatever played on the screen and only kept watching it to avoid having to talk about anything. Her mind was so full of thoughts and questions and emotions that she had to use most of her strength to keep the flood at bay and only let them trickle to the surface one by one. Hardest of all was to stop herself from reliving over and over the moment when Christian had locked eyes with her. The movement of his head had been so slow and deliberate and his gaze so direct that she was certain he had known exactly where to find her in the crowd. That fact alone had filled her with a dozen questions and possible explanations all of which had been instantly wiped out, sucked into the vortex of the connection their eyes established over the length of the hall. He looked…happy, at peace somehow and then he nodded once and broke eye contact to walk off the stage. Was he approving? Of what? Had he read the letter? She had seen the white square of paper in his pocket and as Christian never spoke from notes she was fairly sure it was her letter. But then he had looked so angry…

Besides her Dan bolted upright and switched off the TV: "Nick, slow down and start from the beginning."

Startled out of her thoughts, she straightened up from where she had been reclining on the bed. Dan was listening intently, a frown deepening between his eyebrows.

"Where are you now? Where is the bar?" he asked.

….

"Do you have any idea where he was going?"

Ana could no longer contain her anxiety and grabbed Dan's arm, a questioning look on her face.

"Ok. Stay there in case he is coming back. I have to fill in your mom and I'll call you back." Dan hung up and the certainty he had tried to inject in his voice while on the phone with Nick gave way to fear as he turned to his wife: "Eddy has seen the pictures on Nick's phone then stormed out of the bar and drove away."

Ana's face drained of color as her eyes darted to the window where the rain was battering the wall of the building.

"Where was he going?" she managed

"Nick didn't know, he said Eddy just got up and left."

Aware of Emma and not wanting to scare her, the two adults refrained from voicing their thoughts and let their eyes silently confirm that they shared the same fear for what might happen to their son if he was driving angry and possibly drunk in the dark and the pouring rain.

"Christian." Ana managed a whisper past the lump in her throat.

The frown between his eyebrows still in place, Dan searched her face for a moment: "Eddy doesn't know where to find him, does he?"

Ana shook her head: "No. Christian will find him. He has…men, people in town, maybe even the police."

On top of his worry for his son, anger flickered through Dan, unexpected, irrational, but no less searing. To his credit it only lasted the space between a heartbeat and the next: this was a time to look after his son, not compete with his biological father. "Do you know where to find him?"

"Hilton." Ana said, the fear of what might come almost removing her power of speech. In contrast her body was a blur of action as she stuck her feet in her shoes and grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair and her bag from the night stand. She then forced herself to stop and sit on the edge of her daughter's bed. Threading the fingers of one hand through Emma's long hair she gently removed the ear phones and kept her voice quiet and measured to talk to her daughter: "Emma, will you be all right if we leave you alone for a little while? Your dad and I would like to go get Eddy so he doesn't have to drive through the rain."

"Yeah sure, I can watch TV. Is Eddy all right?"

"Yes, yes he is, but I'd like to get him back home."

"OK, sure. See you guys later."

While Ana was talking to Emma, Dan had been busy on his phone. As soon as they found themselves outside the room he turned to Ana: "There are three Hilton hotels in Columbia."

Aware of the time ticking away, Ana concentrated trying to remember anything useful from Henriette Shepard's conversation: "The Presidential suites. He has both of them." She said.

Dan switched to cop mode: if Grey had been a suspect he was trying to find…He pressed on one of the hotel locations on the mini map and then on the telephone symbol besides the picture. Instead of explaining what he was doing he set the phone on speaker and started walking towards the staircase.

"Hilton Homewood Suites, how may I help you?" answered a polite female voice.

"Good evening. I would like to enquire if your Presidential Suites are available this weekend, please."

"I'm sorry, sir, the suites are located at the Hilton Central. Would you like…"

Dan pressed the hang up button without waiting to hear the rest. Without a word the Parsons made it to the car and he took the driver seat. It was only a five minutes' drive, but even so it took all the restraint he could muster to not speed through the evening traffic. The last thing they needed was to be stopped by the police.

He stopped in front of the entrance of the hotel without bothering to try and park the car and both him and Ana rushed past the startled bell boy straight to the reception desk at the end of the massive foyer. Mustering all the authority she could, Ana addressed the young woman behind the counter:

"I need to speak with Mr Christian Grey. Can you please inform him" she faltered then quickly regained her composure: "Anastasia is at reception."

As instructed, the receptionist quickly pressed the speed dial for the number she had been given in case anybody enquired about Mr Grey, then flashed her most professional smile at the couple stood on the other side of the counter: "If you would like to take a seat, someone will be with you shortly."

The last thing Ana wanted to do was take a seat. While she was trying to convince the young woman that this was an emergency, Dan turned around to assess the space around him. From the red marble floors to the cream marble columns and the padded comfortable chairs strewn on the sides, the place was screaming luxury, opulence, abundance. His observation was interrupted by the sight of a man in a dark grey suit walking towards them with measured, confident steps. He touched Ana's shoulder: "Belle." He said and nodded towards the approaching man.

Ana turning her head to look behind them, made the man who had walked so confidently just a moment before stop dead in his tracks just three steps away from his destination. Without taking his eyes from them he fished a phone from his pocket and pressed a button then lifted the device to his ear. "The Missus is at reception."

…

"No, Mr Parson is with her."

…

"Will do."

His conversation ended, he took the remaining three steps and extended his hand first to Ana then to Dan: "Mrs and Mr Parson, my name is John Ziegler. Can you please follow me?"

The trio walked away from reception led by John Ziegler, Ana and Dan a little confused by the snippet of conversation they had overheard. Pushing everything else from her mind to analyse at a later time, Ana opened her mouth to address the security guard but never made it past "Mr" as a loud: "Oh, hell no." from somewhere to their right interrupted her.

Elliot Grey had been nursing a glass of whiskey in the hotel bar for the past forty minutes or so, using the alone time to come to terms with the emotional upheaval from the morning ceremony.

From his reserved place in the VIP seat, there had not been much he could do for Christian, so he had concentrated on Grace instead. Despite her stoic exterior and the smile plastered on her face, the grip she had on his hand had told him all he needed to know about how she was feeling. It was quickly apparent that from their seats on the side of the venue it was not possible to spot Teddy among the sea of students and he had on purpose not tried to locate Ana in the mass of relatives and friends in the gallery. His mother needed him to remain calm and collected and looking at the woman who had broken his brother's heart and stolen his son from him was not going to help. So he had held his mother's hand as they both swelled with pride listening to Abrams' description of the rise of GEH and then with admiration listening to Christian's speech. They were as shocked as the rest of the room at the surprise alternate awards and had joined everybody else in the thundering applause.

As Christian had stood up again to take his place by the President and the roll call for the Honours College graduates started, the grip Grace had on his hand had become almost painful. And then he spotted Teddy in the queue. Watching him slowly advance and then finally shake hands with his father, unaware of their relationship, he could not help but think of his own son. This is was a situation he never wanted to find himself in. Whatever the cost, whatever the consequences, he was going to be a part of Matt's life. Loosing half of Grey Construction was nothing compared to what he knew Christian must have felt having to let go of Teddy again.

The luncheon with the VIPs was something he had been a part of many times before: people fighting for his brother's attention, sticking business cards into his hand hoping he'll remember them, a few just expressing their admiration and content to go home and tell the story of how they had shaken hands with The Christian Grey. The attention Christian was getting from women had not really lessened over the years. They were perhaps a little bit older, but there were enough tight corsages, short skirts and fluttering eyelashes surrounding his brother to cause Elliot to repeatedly roll his eyes. Christian's daughter was just by his side! Not to mention that he didn't pay them any attention: the deeper the décolleté, the shorter the skirt and the faster their eyelashes fluttered, the more serious Christian's face grew and the quicker he let go of their hands. Having already put up with one formal gathering, Elliot declined the dinner invitation and spent the afternoon doing what he had come to Columbia to do: be whatever Christian needed. He had kept Grace company while Christian was working, gone to the gym with him when he wanted to work out and then played uncle to Samantha until she had bid him good night after their shared dinner in the hotel restaurant. Finally alone, his thoughts had gone to trying to figure out how and when to tell Kate about Matt and whether there was any chance he could save his marriage with the woman he still loved in spite of everything. He quickly found the silence and solitude in the suite he shared with Christian oppressing, so he had opted to do his thinking at the hotel bar instead. Mindful that he had promised his brother to not give security any grief, he had chosen a seat in plain sight of the man assigned to the hotel lobby.

He was about ready to let the guard know he was going to go upstairs, when "John" stood up and walked away. After a brief discussion and good night to the bartender Elliot walked out of the bar and rounded the thick marble column to the image of Anastasia and her husband following John god knew where. His shouted words had produced the desired effect and the trio were now standing still in the middle of the foyer. He strode to them, his body coiled, his arms rigid at his sides and stopped toe to toe with her, towering over her petite frame: "Just what the hell do you think you are doing here, Anastasia?" he barked.

"Elliot?" she said, her eyes widened in shock more than fear.

"I asked you a question. What the hell are you doing here?" he repeated, then sparring a look for Dan: "Taking his son away was not enough, you need to rub your husband in his face now?"

Recuperating from the surprise of the verbal attack, John Ziegler stretched an arm between Elliot and Mrs Parson, then quickly pulled it back to touch his ear and frowned, listening to something through his ear piece.

"Mr you need to step back." Dan got closer and tried to wedge himself between his wife and the man he had by now recognized as Christian Grey's brother.

"You, stay out of this." Elliot glared at him

Before Dan could do or say anything else, Ana grabbed Elliot's arm. "Elliot, it's Eddy. I need to speak with Christian."

"Teddy." Elliot spat the word "His name is Teddy. Theodore Raymond Grey to be precise."

"Gentlemen, ma'am" John Ziegler tried to get their attention and failed as Ana delivered her message: "Teddy is in danger. He's angry and driving in the rain. I have to find him."

With Elliot momentarily defused by the prospect of Christian's son being in danger, John seized the opportunity and grabbed Ana's arm forcing her to acknowledge him: "We know. There's been an accident. I'm waiting for an update any moment. Please come with me. All of you," he finished including the two men in his order.

"Eddy!" Ana exclaimed, grateful for the hand that was holding her upright.

"Mr Ziegler, what happened?" Dan asked

"All I have for now is that there has been an accident. Emergency services are en route. One of our team is with him and she'll update me as soon as she has any more details." As the weight of the woman was growing heavier under his arm he let go of her and instead moved his arm to support her lower back and gently stir her towards one of the groups of chairs. This time he met no resistance and in just a few steps found himself standing beside three occupied chairs, as three pale faces and three pairs of questioning eyes were looking up at him.

"Who is with Christian?" Elliot asked

"McKenzie, Young and Campbell."

"Tell them, tell McKenzie, if Teddy is injured Christian will lose it. Big time."

"He knows, sir. They are all on high alert and have called a couple more people in."

"Please, tell us what you know." Ana pleaded

"Not much so far, I'm afraid. Charlie-Charlie is reported alive but unconscious, no obvious injury."

The look of confusion on their faces made him rephrase: "Mr Edward Parson is alive but unconscious."

"Who is with him?" asked Dan

"His security detail. She has called 911 and informed McKenzie and she will stay with him until the ambulance arrives. She has first aid training; she'll do whatever she can for him."

Dan tried to wrap his mind around the idea of his son having a security detail as Elliot once again fixed his eyes on Ana.

"Anastasia, if anything happens to that boy…I meant what I said earlier. Christian has enough on his plate. The last thing he needs is to deal with your presence here."

Struggling to keep the panic rising inside her at bay, her eyes already swimming in tears at the thought of her son lying injured somewhere out there, she had no fight left in her to confront Elliot. With trembling voice, the tears now falling down her cheeks she whispered: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt him. But I have to stay," she pleaded, "I have to know if Eddy is OK."

Incredulity washed over Elliot like a wave and he had to shake his head to reassemble his mental faculties. "Hurt him? You didn't hurt him Anastasia. Leaving the way you did and taking Teddy with you, you damn near killed him." His matter-of-fact statement could not have been more effective had he shouted it from the roof of the hotel.

Again Ana stopped Dan from interfering: "No Dan, I need to know."

"I didn't know Elliot." She continued looking into the pale blue eyes of the man she once considered an older brother and who was now looking at her with contempt. "I didn't know he wanted me or Teddy. I didn't know any of you still wanted us in your lives."

"What do you mean you didn't know? What about the calls you never returned, or the emails? Mom and I even came to Montesano and you refused to see us!" Elliot had stood up and was once again glaring at her from his full 6'3 height.

"Mr Grey" Dan intervened, "Belle is telling you the truth. We only found out this past month, but at the time she didn't know any of you called her or came to visit."

Not really knowing how to deal with Ana's husband, Elliot was trying to figure out how to respond when Ana spoke again: "He is right and Dan has nothing to do with this, Elliot. It was my father. He meant to protect me and he had friends in the FBI. They put some form of block on my phone and my emails and he never told me you came to see me."

Disconcerted by her words, Elliot starred at her and held fast to one undeniable fact: "You took his son away from him!"

"I didn't know he cared! I just didn't know! He had pulled security away, he didn't contact me or replied to my messages - nobody did - not even after I had sent the divorce papers."

Elliot walked a few steps away from her then returned and shoved his hands in his pockets, assessing her. "Whatever happened to the two of you? One moment we are all celebrating Mia's wedding and the next thing I know Christian locks himself away at Escala and you run off to Montesano and ask for a divorce."

The worry over her son and the guilt over her past actions had built inside her to an almost unbearable tension and so her answer came out harsher than she had intended: "You know damn well what happened Elliot, Christian married her."

John Ziegler stepped forward from where he was standing beside on of the columns to tell them: "The ambulances have arrived. They are taking everybody to Providence Hospital. I have orders to take Mr and Mrs Preston to the ER."

"I'm coming with you," Elliot stated.

John Ziegler hesitated, but then gave in to the inevitable and nodded before turning on his heel and striding towards the entrance. "I'm sorry but we'll have to walk to the car. We are stretched a little thin and there is only one security detail with both cars."

His words didn't make much sense to Ana and Dan, but they were not going to stop for explanations. The rain was still coming down in a steady stream, not that any of the four people was in a state of mind to care. The two black Audi SUVs were in the two parking bays closest to the hotel entrance and another security guard was already holding one door open for them to pile in.

"Oh, wait, we have our own car," Dan said looking around trying to locate their Chevrolet.

"It's OK, Mr Preston. Someone will retrieve your car and bring it to wherever you will be at the time," said John who was already in the driver seat.

"Do you have any more information about Eddy?" asked Ana

"No, ma'm." He said then placed his phone in the dock on the dashboard and pressed a button.

"Ziegler. En route and you are on speaker. ETA six to seven minutes."

"Will see you there. We are a few minutes behind you." A male voice reverberated from the electronic device and then the car was silent.

"Elliot" Ana found her voice. "Can you tell me what happened, after I left I mean?"

Still seething Elliot tried to get a hold of his temper. It had become obvious to him that not everything was as he had believed. It had also started dawning on him that Christian was going to be seriously pissed when he found out he had lashed out at Ana. He passed a hand over his face and started talking: "I came back from Texas to find Kate tired and emotional, upset that your feelings had been hurt and angry at Christian. Christian wouldn't speak with any of us other than to inform us that you were in Montesano and he was busy. Kate of course had told me about", he stopped and looked at Dan.

"Dan knows Christian had an affair," prompted Ana

"Yes, anyway. After about two weeks we were getting worried but then…" Elliot stopped again and frowned. "You should probably know I am aware that Kate has been in contact with you for several years."

Ana rolled her lips inward and bowed her head.

"Has she told you about her father?" Elliot asked.

"Yes," she said still not brave enough to meet Elliot's eyes.

"OK, so when Donald went to rehab and Kate had to step in to run the company, we had our own problems." He shook his head. "After all these years I still can't believe the guy was on cocaine. Kate was devastated about her father and stressed about work and I didn't want her to take all that upon her when she was five, almost six, months pregnant but she wanted to at least set things up so the company could still run without either her or Donald there. Before we knew it, it was Thanksgiving and Christian didn't show up at dinner so mom and dad went to see him. That's when we found out about the divorce. As said he wouldn't talk to any of us. You know how he can be when he gets in that mood." Elliot looked at her and Ana slowly nodded. "All the news were via Taylor: Christian was working from home and would not take any calls or visitors. And then first week of December dad got a call from Jason."

Ana's distress was quite obvious with tears running down her face and a hand covering her mouth, the other arm wrapped around her middle, hand closed in a fist and for the first time Elliot felt a measure of compassion for the other partner in the drama that had unfolded in his brother's life. Still aware of Dan and mindful of protecting Christian's privacy he chose his words carefully: "You had just left, sent him back his rings and the unopened letters so he…retreated. Like he was when he first joined the family, before Mia came." He stared at Ana hopping that she will catch on.

Her eyes widened and she shook her head a small prayer leaving her mouth behind the palm still covering her lips: "No, please no."

His own face now marred by the pain he still felt over his brother's ordeal, Elliot confirmed her suspicion: "Unfortunately, yes. He…we had to take him away, take care of him until he recovered. Dad had to step in at GEH and then when Jason resigned and Gail left with him, mom went over to Escala to check if anything needed doing. Dad was with her as he needed some papers from Christian's safe."

The hand had fallen from Ana's face and Dan watched fascinated as any previous worry and anguish vanished to be replaced by a look of pure horror.

"Mom opened the door to the room upstairs and dad found the contracts and the NDAs in the safe. In a way it was lucky that Christian was…out of it. By the time he was well enough to have a discussion most of us had recuperated from the shock and he dismissed all of our questions with a '_It doesn't matter anymore_.'"

Elliot's face had acquired a different expression: questioning, curious. But Ana shook her head and he sighed: "Dad running GEH had not gone that well and Christian was back to the way he was before he met you. We didn't see much of him the rest of that first year. Ava had been born while he was unwell and he didn't see her until she was almost one month old. His marriage came as a surprise to everybody," Elliot concluded his tale.

There was obviously more, so much more, to tell, for both of them, but the car had entered the hospital grounds and the fate of the young man probably lying in a bed in the ER once again became their main concern. They were almost at the entrance and the car slowed down to turn around. Elliot stretched an arm and let his palm rest on Ana's upper arm: "Ana, Christian has rebuilt his company and his life and has found a measure of peace. I don't want to see him hurt again."

And then they were there, John jumping out of the driver seat and opening the door for them, allowing them to get out of the car and the dim lighting of the parking lot and step under the bright unforgiving lights of the ER.

**AN Next chapter: yes they will finally meet! Please note that the chapter will contain references to events described in Ch6.**


	25. Summer Storm Ch26a Family Ties

**AN: So finally time to get Ana and Christian in the same room. As some of you already know, this was a very long chapter and personally I find it difficult to read long chapters on FanFic so I have split it in two: part 1 below and part 2 to be posted immediately after this one. **

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch26a Family ties

Ignoring the few people scattered around the waiting room, Ana and Dan headed straight for the nurse's station on the left side of the waiting room, while Elliot slowed down and eventually took a seat in a corner of the room. He knew his presence here would upset Christian but he just couldn't leave without knowing if Teddy was really all right.

"Dan and Anabelle Parson", Dan was telling the nurse. "Our son, Edward Parson, has been in an accident and we were told he will be brought here."

"I'm sorry Mr Parson but we don't have anybody by that name in the ER." She replied after a quick glance at her computer screen. "We are expecting an RTA though," she said with some compassion for the dishevelled couple in front of her, the tear tracks fresh on the woman's face. "They should be here any moment."

Blue lights reflecting on the bay windows cast eerie shadows over the room and several gowned and gloved members of staff hurried from the corridor behind the nurse's station towards the side entrance. Frozen in place for a moment, Ana and Dan stepped forward as one when a stretcher, pushed by paramedics and surrounded by two of the gowned people, poked through the doors.

"Eddy!" Ana's voice was a plea more than a shout as she tried to get a glimpse of the patient.

Dan grabbed her arm and stopped her: whoever that was they had long blond hair. It wasn't Eddy.

The group had barely rushed past them, the paramedics spouting a string of information to the attending medical personnel when a second stretcher arrived and his grip tightened on his wife's arm.

"Reported initially unconscious at the scene, GCS 12, BP 120 over…"

The rest was drowned by the sounds of his own heart beat as he caught a glimpse of unruly brown-red hair and the sleeve of a grey suit. Before he could react, Ana had wedged herself between the people surrounding the stretcher and was caressing her son's forehead.

"Eddy, honey, are you OK? Are you in pain?"

The medical personnel were prying Ana away from the stretcher with a gentle but firm: "ma'am you need to step back", then Eddy turned his head towards the commotion: "Mom?" he whispered, and Dan's heart started to beat again and his legs carried him forward.

In a well-practiced manoeuvre one of the paramedics placed himself between Ana and the stretcher and blocked her way. "Ma'am, you have to step back and let the doctors take care of him."

Their eyes following the stretcher as it disappeared behind one of the curtained cubicles, Ana and Dan didn't pay any attention to the other two emergencies arriving through the revolving doors. They turned worried eyes to the paramedic.

"That's our son," Dan said.

"I understand. Why don't you come and have a seat, someone will be with you very shortly," the man tried to sound reassuring.

"Please, is he all right?" Ana asked

"I think so ma'am. He was awake when we arrived and there are no signs of serious injury. His side airbag had deployed so he had some protection from the crash, but you'll have to wait and hear from the doctors, OK?"

Dan frowned. "Our son's car does not have a side airbag," he said. "His name is Parson, Edward Parson."

The paramedic seemed a little unsure then quickly recovered: "Perhaps the police will have more information, sir" he said, nodding towards the nurse's station where two uniformed policemen were talking to the nurse. "If you'll excuse me," and then he was gone.

Troubled and unsure, Dan took Ana's hand and walked to the two uniformed men: "Officers, good evening. My name is Dan Parson. My son, Edward Parson, has been involved in an accident. Dark blue Chevrolet Cavalier sedan."

"Ah yes, lucky young man. I am Brian Campbell and this is Anthony Scavuzzo, we were the officers at the scene. "

"Lucky?" Dan asked. "What happened?"

"Your son would have been involved in a frontal collision with a car driving against traffic, but an eye witness confirms that the car behind him pushed him out of the way. With the side airbag and the reinforced door any injuries should be minimal." Officer Campbell informed them as his colleague was taking a call.

"I don't understand. Our son's car doesn't have a side bag or a reinforced door. Are you sure it's the same person?"

Against the sound of some disturbance behind them, Scavuzzo stepped forward with a frown on his face. "Mr and Mrs Parson, do you know a Brendan D'Amato or a Jason Taylor?"

Maybe she would have recognized the voice anyway, but hearing his name spoken out loud made Ana turn her head to look over her shoulder at the people arguing by the curtained cubicles. All the worry, hurt, guilt and shame she had accumulated over the past few hours, days and weeks, came together and coalesced into white hot anger at the sight of the man arguing with the remaining paramedics. She wrenched her hand from Dan's and marched herself to stand less than an arm's length from the man whose betrayal was still painful so many years down the line.

"Taylor! What are you doing here Taylor? Did you run out of gullible young women in Seattle? Looking for somebody new to fool into thinking you are their friend? Or are you here to make sure none of his secrets ever see the light of day?"

During her tirade she had advanced until she stood less than a step away from Taylor, the difference in height between them forcing her to tilt her head up to look at him, but her anger and indignation making her oblivious to the disparity in size, or to the pained look on the man's face.

"Ana." The word escaped his mouth with a gasp.

"How many of them has there been, Jason, before I found out? How many times have you covered for him? Did you and Gail have a good laugh at how naïve I was to believe you were my friends?"

"Never." He said. "I never…covered…there was…nothing to… cover." Jason's words were coming in choked gasps as Dan and the two policemen reached them. "There was…no… aff…fair." He finished, one hand clutching the side of his chest, the other one closed in a tight fist by his side.

"He married her! She was pregnant!" she enunciated each word, in a low menacing voice.

Among arms stretched to drag them apart and voices enticing them to calm down, Jason Taylor let go of his chest and unclenched his fist to instead grab her shoulders and prevent her from being dragged away: "He didn't…he…"

Pink foam appeared between his lips and as he bent forward, the pain finally too much to bear, his mouth was almost by her ear. He managed one more breath: "She isn't…"

The foam bubbling on his lips with each word had now turned dark red and Ana finally registered the look of despair in his eyes as he sank to the floor, blood trickling out of his mouth.

Ana's horrified shout of "Jason!" blended with the paramedic's one of "Get a doctor!" and Elliot and the paramedic found themselves crouching down to Jason Taylor's level while Dan pulled Ana to the side.

Elliot had been observing Ana and Dan from his corner of the room, when Ana suddenly walked away from Dan and the police. Her angry words had reverberated over the mostly empty waiting room and propelled him out of his chair and towards her and Christian's former head of security. The whole exchange had taken less than a minute but he had caught most of Taylor's choked words before the man collapsed in front of him and he instinctively followed down to the floor. Unsure of what to do he stretched a hand towards Taylor when he felt a hand firmly pressing his arm down and a voice by his ear whispering: "You have to step back Mr Grey. Now."

His eyes encountered the face of a young woman, dressed casually, her face locked in a stern expression. "Security." She mouthed.

The curtain of the cubicle had flown open and a doctor was now bending over Taylor firing instructions at the nurse behind the counter "Rhonda, page thoracic and get an OR, punctured lung. We'll meet them there."

Elliot's eyes searched for Ana: Dan was holding her with one arm over her middle, preventing her from getting any closer to the man on the floor. In front of him the curtain to the cubicle was now open and half sitting on the bed was Teddy, watching the commotion, his eyebrows knitted in a frown. Slowly Elliot rose and half turned towards the woman standing beside him.

"We are just two concerned citizens. We need to step back," she instructed.

Elliot moved away as someone was helping Taylor on a stretcher. The voice was again whispering to him: "You cannot get involved Mr Grey. Please step back and come with me."

Elliot's mind restarted to process coherent thoughts and the wider implications of the scene unfolding in the ER dawned on him. The woman was right, he could not allow either the strangers in the ER nor Teddy to identify him as Christian's brother. He turned to walk back to his seat in the corner of the room, but the woman stopped him before he could sit down again: "Mr Grey I have orders to ensure that you return to the hotel immediately."

Anger briefly swelled in him, quickly deflated by the thought of just how many of Christian's wishes he had broken this evening. "I have to know that Teddy will be fine." He pleaded with the woman.

"I understand, sir. I'll make sure we keep you informed. For now I need you to step outside and to the car."

Reluctantly he followed her to the exit and into the darkness outside. She was on the phone, then bright headlights flared almost directly in front of him. His night vision shot, he was barely able to make out the shape of a man walking towards him. As more of the man's body entered the cone of light, Elliot finally recognized Greg McKenzie. If McKenzie was here…he squinted to try and see past the bright light and took a couple of steps forward.

"Mr Grey." McKenzie greeted him.

"Where is he? Where is Christian?" Elliot asked.

"Mr Grey is in the car, sir. He asks that you return to the hotel. Dr Trevelyan-Grey is on her way there as well and she is not aware of the accident. She has been informed that Mr Grey had to attend to an urgent business matter. Mr Grey asks that you maintain that cover, sir."

"I have to speak with him." Elliot said and took another step towards the parked cars.

"Sir, respectfully, that is not a good idea." Greg McKenzie informed him.

From the relative privacy of the back seat of the SUV, Christian was watching the interaction between his Head of Personal Security and his brother while finishing the latest in a string of telephone conversations. The last time he had been this angry with Elliot they were both teenagers and it had come to some serious blows, so he was relieved when his brother climbed into the other car and allowed himself to be driven back to the hotel. For the past fifteen minutes he had kept a tight rein on first his anxiety then his anger, while bowing to the need to do some damage control. Every few seconds he had to remind himself that Teddy was fine, will be fine. By the grace of whatever higher divinity had been watching over his son, Jason Taylor had been there and then the airbag and the reinforced door had fulfilled their purpose.

He watched McKenzie disappear through the doors of the ER and popped in his mouth another two of the beta-blockers his doctor had prescribed. He had to remain calm. Another police car pulled to the side of the building and two officers climbed out, the bulk of bullet proof vests distorting their silhouettes. 'Damn guns!' he thought as the screen of his phone lit up and the device vibrated in his hand. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath to help him resume his business persona before answering the phone.

"Grey."

"Mr Grey, I have been unable to reach the president of the board, but as you indicated this was urgent, I have instead reached Mrs Irene Vogt for you. She is the Chief Financial Officer for the board of trustees of the Providence Hospital. " Andreea informed him with her usual efficiency.

* * *

Ana and Dan had only had a few moments with Eddy before he was wheeled away to the xray department. All the doctor would tell them for now was that he seemed to have injured his left elbow and that the confusion and apparent loss of memory were probably only temporary and due to the shock of the accident. They were going to do a brain scan just to be sure and the elbow was going to need resetting so the pain medication would prolong the period of confusion, but all in all it looked like he would be fine. A little reassured they had found two seats in the waiting room and called their other children.

Dan finished his call to Nick and let his gaze roam over the waiting room while he was trying to process everything he had witnessed in the past 10-15 minutes: Elliot Grey's verbal attack on his wife, his tale in the car and the unspoken words sounding almost like a coded message between him and Belle, Belle's fury at Jason Taylor and her accusations of betrayal before the man collapsed at their feet…Her use of her previous name at the hotel reception had not gone unnoticed and neither had Elliot Grey's forceful reminder that Eddy was in fact born a Grey. There were other more subtle signs as well: Belle had not batted an eye at the opulence in the hotel lobby, the mention of Eddy having security or the offer to be chauffeured around to wherever she needed to go, while he had had to make an effort to keep focused on the immediate necessities and refrain from asking non-essential questions.

As his mind listed the obvious and not so obvious signs that his wife and son had a foot in a world as alien to him as the surface of the planet Mars, his eyes had taken in the impeccably dressed figure of Greg McKenzie entering the waiting room and walking straight to the two police officers. Then Belle hung up with Emma and turned towards him.

It was the first time their eyes met since leaving the hotel room and a bit of sadness hit him: they might be seated next to each other but something in her eyes was very far away, different. The familiar face of his Annabelle was subtly changed to reflect a kind of self-assurance he was not used to seeing there. She was changing, moving on and he would have to adapt or be left behind.

Two more people entering the ER shook Dan out of his melancholy: these police officers were wearing bullet proof vests over their jackets.

"Belle, who is Jason Taylor?"

The self-assurance vanished from her face to be replaced with a worried look.

"Oh God, Jason! He was standing there arguing with the paramedics and I just lashed out at him! I didn't know he was hurt!"

"They'll take care of him. His injuries are not your fault. But the police had asked about him and now those two are here." He jutted his chin towards the two newcomers.

Concerned Ana answered a little absent minded: "Christian's head of security". Her eyebrows knitted in a frown: "Elliot said Jason had left…" she let her voice trail uncertain of how everything fitted together. She looked at the group of men standing by the counter, one of them the man to whom she had entrusted her letter.

Greg McKenzie was showing the police some papers then fished a phone out of his pocket but he was too far away for Ana and Dan to hear what was said. Then he turned and looked over the room until he found them. With only a brief pause he looked away and finally nodded to a woman stood by the entrance. Dan remembered seeing the young woman talk to Elliot Grey and watched her walk towards the group of men.

She exchanged a few words with McKenzie then turned to stand by the nurse at reception, apparently waiting for 'Rhonda' to finish her telephone conversation. The nurse put the phone down and pursed her lips then waved over one of the orderlies standing by a cart with blood vials. The man pushed the cart into the nurses' station then he and the young woman walked away and turned a corner just past the ambulance entrance.

The Parsons were not left to wonder what was going on for more than a couple of minutes. The young woman returned to the waiting room and this time walked straight to them.

"Mr and Mrs Parson, my name is Elizabeth Baer. A private waiting room has been organized for you. Would you please follow me?"

Dan however had had enough of being a spectator and informed her in a stern voice leaving no room for negotiation: "I know what you are Miss Baer and I am not going anywhere until my son returns."

"I understand Mr Parson. The doctor will be informed of your whereabouts and we will let you know immediately when Mr Parson returns." Betty stood her ground.

Ana had kept quiet looking from Dan to Elizabeth Baer. When she spoke it was a statement rather than a question: "Christian is here."

"Yes ma'am."

It was Dan's turn to look at Ana with an unspoken question. Ana shrugged: "He can't just walk through the doors, somebody might recognize him."

Dan was of two minds on how to handle this: on one hand he wanted to stand his ground for once in this crazy evening, on the other hand Belle's words implied he might have a chance to actually meet the enigma that was Christian Grey. Curiosity won and he stood up, Ana following his lead.

They were led past the ambulance entrance to an empty room with a couple of tables surrounded by several chairs, a couch on the far wall and two armchairs to the left. To the right of the door was another table with a coffee machine, microwave and mini-fridge and above the table two shelves holding cups, tins of coffee and tea and a packet of sugar. A sink by the door completed the look of an ordinary personnel lounge.

Ana walked towards the window at the far end but the darkness outside was impenetrable. She sank into the sofa, her gaze fixed on the door, her heartbeat loud in her ears. Dan had followed her to the window but then retreated to lean against the table with the kitchen gear and Grey's employee took a step back into the corridor and shut the door leaving them alone.

One sharp knock on the door broke the silence then the door opened and Christian Grey stepped inside. He allowed the door to close bind him with a soft click and remained stock still, his gaze locked with the wide blue eyes staring at him from across the room.

Ana's eyes had instantly connected with his and for a brief moment all was well with her world: Christian was here. Then her past and her present mixed in a time vortex occasionally slowing down to show her an image: Christian as her lover, her husband, her occasional Dom, 'no prenup', 'you damn near killed him', the fights, their struggle to make a life together, to find their feet in their unlikely marriage, the world that kept pulling and pushing at them but also her fears, her constant battle to maintain her independence, to not give in to him. His anxiety and his need for control, his enormous success, his competence in all he did as she was still trying to fit into his world and feeling inadequate and insufficient. Teddy, their ray of sunshine, filling their hearts with joy and with a love untainted by the fear that it wouldn't be returned. She cringed at the realization of yet another reason why taking his son away had been so wrong and unforgivable. The image of the ER and then Taylor with the blood pooling on the floor: 'he didn't', 'she isn't', the fragments of words she had not had any time to process. The pain of knowing she had not been enough for him and now the realization that she hadn't really tried. Her constant resistance forcing him in a relationship on her terms when he, more than anybody else, needed the certainty and the stability that come with being in charge. And after all of that he was still here, where she needed him, when she needed him, answering her call.

Christian watched the myriad of expressions flitting through her eyes. That initial moment of recognition when her face had relaxed gave him hope that he was not unwelcome, and from that knowledge he gathered the strength to just stand still and allow her the time she needed to come to terms with his intrusion in her life. Her face finally settled and beyond the sadness in her expression there was a question in her eyes.

"Anastasia." The rasp in his voce betrayed his self-assured appearance and before he lost more of his grip on his own emotions he tore his eyes away from her and to the man stood with his back to the table by the wall. In long strides he took the three steps separating them and stretched out his hand:

"Mr Parson, I am Christian Grey."

Dan automatically took the offered hand and replied: "Dan Parson."

Then Belle's voice pleaded or prayed, more a whisper than a spoken word: "Christian." And it was too much for him to resist.


	26. Summer Storm Ch26b Family Ties

Ch26b Family ties

In a blur of movement, before Dan Parson's outstretched arm could fall again against his body, Christian was on one knee in front of her, his hands splayed on either hand of her, gripping the fabric of the couch lest they wonder and touch what was no longer his.

"I'm sorry." She was saying. "I'm sorry I took him away from you. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Ana, don't cry. Please don't cry," Christian pleaded.

"I'm sorry I came to you, I didn't know where else to go."

"Ana, listen to me." Christian's voice took on a harder edge and she responded by stopping the litany of apologies, although the tears were still running from the corner of her eyes, marring the face he longed to caress.

"Never hesitate; never apologize for coming to me, for anything. Elliot shouldn't have said what he did. With your permission" Christian turned his head fractionally towards Dan then back to Ana, "if you want to, we might talk, at some point. But for tonight I need to talk to both of you and we might not have much time." He paused and his voice softened again: "Can you do that?"

Ana nodded and Dan got the distinct impression he once again had missed something, some unspoken word or sentence. Then Grey stood up and turned to Dan: "Before the accident tonight, Teddy was in a bar. Do you know how much he has been drinking?"

His voice was carefully neutral, the question phrased to ask for information not to challenge, but he had called his son by his birth name. That, Ana was certain, was not a mistake. Christian had drawn the battle line and he was not going to back down: Teddy was his son as much as he was Dan's.

Dan straightened and looked directly into the grey eyes of his opponent but didn't take the bait: "Nick said he only had a beer and before that he has had two glasses of wine at lunch. He shouldn't be over the limit."

Ana frowned, she was missing something the two men seemed to both understand.

Christian relaxed a little and leaned against the table, his arms crossed against his chest: "Nevertheless," he said, "I have contacted a lawyer who should be here shortly."

"Mr Grey," Dan started but Christian interrupted him.

"Please, call me Christian."

Ana watched the exchange between the two men only marginally annoyed that she was not included. This meeting was something she had been afraid of and it could still go terribly wrong.

"Christian," Dan acknowledged and with that simple word their relationship moved to a different stage, "It might be too late; they have already taken a blood sample."

"That has been taken care of," Christian dismissed the threat. At Dan's frown he elaborated: "The sample will be demonstrably left unattended, if only briefly, rendering it inadmissible."

Christian's easy dismissal of police evidence reminded Dan of the bitter taste left by a case he had worked involving some rich banker. He and his partner had never even gotten permission to enter the man's gated property, let alone talk to him. This however was his son and as far as he knew Eddy had not caused the accident. No need to allow trouble in his life if it could be avoided.

"DUI?" Ana asked catching on. "Eddy could be charged with drink driving?"

Dan was certain he had seen a flicker of pain cross Grey's face when she had called their son 'Eddy' and the blush now raising in her cheeks confirmed that they were going to have a serious problem agreeing on a name. But Grey was recovering fast and no trace of anything else but a deep seated conviction remained in his voice as he turned to her: "Not if I can help it. The police have already interrogated an eye witness who confirmed he has not caused the accident and two of the other drivers will confirm her story. They don't have probable cause to ask for the blood sample."

"Oh, so then why does he need a lawyer?"

"Easier to prevent than to go to court and argue the case," Dan said. "So what happens now?" he asked Christian.

"The lawyer will talk to the police officers as soon as he arrives. But somebody needs to let Teddy know, so he won't deny he has legal counsel. He'll still have to give his statement to the police…" Christian hesitated and raked the fingers of one hand through his hair then shot an apologetic look at Ana. "He might also need a warning. There has not been time to find and vet someone new and so I called the only person already fitting the criteria."

He took a deep breath and explained: "The lawyer is Carter Ellis."

"The senior partner at Eddy's internship?" Dan asked, surprised.

"I'm afraid so." Christian nodded. "He was told that one of my security personnel has been involved in a traffic accident and his services are required for all three victims."

At the mention of the accident Dan jumped on the occasion to try and find out what exactly had happened to his son: "The accident, what exactly happened? Everybody keeps mentioning a side bag and reinforced door, but Eddy's car doesn't have …" Dan's voice trailed as he finally put two and two together.

Christian Grey's eyes flashed with momentary anger, then his expression morphed into an impassive stare and he allowed Dan Parson to figure it out. From the side line Ana reached her own conclusion. Obviously Christian had arranged for the safety measures but beyond that there was again that unspoken message: Eddy had two fathers.

Christian's voice again filled the silence: "Someone was driving the wrong way, heading straight for Teddy's car. I don't know why Taylor was following Teddy, but he was right behind him and did the only thing he could do under the circumstances: catch up with Teddy and push his car sideways out of the way. Instead of veering off, Taylor kept going towards that idiot who was coming at him. I had somebody following Taylor who saw what he did for Teddy and tried to do the same, but there was too little time left. All he could do was to push Taylor's rear end so the car entered a spin and the collision was lateral instead of frontal."

Grey had made the sequence of events sound simple and logical, but with his experience Dan knew they were anything but that. Especially that man, Taylor: he had been willing to die to save Eddy.

Ana was thinking much along the same lines as she asked: "Jason was hurt. Will he be all right?"

There was no mistaking the immediate stiffening in Christian Grey's posture and the anger this time took a little longer to evaporate, leaving Dan wondering just what the hell that man had done to have both these two so angry at him.

"He's in surgery. We won't know until sometime tomorrow." Christian was saying

"He saved Teddy's life." Ana pleaded with Christian, no more clued as to why he would be angry at Taylor than Dan was.

Dan was once again witness to the exchange of looks between his wife and her ex-husband. He had been too caught out by the intensity of the feelings radiating from them both when Grey had kneeled in front of her and then the moment had passed, but now there was a pleading look on her face and a stone hard one on Grey's as they locked eyes. He watched as Grey's hard stare slowly melted and his jaws and shoulders relaxed, then his head bowed a fraction and he acknowledged: "Yes, he did."

Under Christian's once again warm gaze Ana unconsciously bit her lip. His eyes widened and the pupils dilated as he caught his breath, then his head dropped and his hand reached inside his vest. Looking at the screen of his phone he informed them: "I have to take this."

She was still processing what had just happened as the single word greeting she remembered so well resonated through the room: "Grey."

She couldn't help the small smile forming on her lips and he responded with his eyes crinkling in amusement, then he was all business again: "Good evening Governor, I hope I am not interrupting your evening."

….

"One of my employees has been involved in a traffic accident this evening. The matter is with the police, as it should be, but I think it would be mutually beneficial if it could be kept out of the press."

…

"I understand. Perhaps the prospect of a business related exclusive might be more appealing than news about a traffic accident."

…

"If Loy Stewart is agreeable we could make an announcement Saturday evening, the three of us, regarding the reopening of negotiations between GEH and Detyens."

….

"Of course Governor. I look forward to meeting you as well. Good evening."

Christian ended his conversation then immediately pressed another button: "Andreea, I just gave Underwood the Detyens deal. I need a telephone conference with Ros first thing in the morning. Her morning."

…

"Keep me informed." He said and hang up again.

During the brief calls Ana's eyes had remained glued to Christian. He was here, the echo of old teases and private jokes between them spreading familiar warmth through her. At the same time the reminder of his betrayal clenched her heart in a tight painful twist and the awareness of her own failings made her simultaneously want to fall into his arms, shout and punch him and kneel at his feet begging for forgiveness.

For his part, Dan had focused on the actual conversation. When Christian hung up from the second call he asked: "Why would this make the papers? It's just a traffic accident."

"D'Amato and Taylor were armed and the police have been informed D'Amato is part of my security detail," Christian explained, his face hardening in a stern expression. "My PR department believes the press might jump on this, something along the lines of '_Young man in car chase with armed security guards_'".

Not relishing the idea of Eddy getting that kind of media attention, Dan's eyebrows knitted with the added worry, but Christian waved the hand still holding the phone, once again dismissing the whole matter: "Underwood will ensure the press leaves this alone."

Seeing that Dan was not convinced he sighed: "I offered him to be part of the announcement that GEH will sign a contract with a local company. He'll give the exclusive of '_Governor helps broker business deal_' to whatever editor he wants. The editor will owe him one for the front page news and he'll have the gratitude of a prominent local business family. With an election next year… he'll come through."

Fascinated by this insight in the 'behind the scenes' lives of the movers and shakers of the world, Dan couldn't help asking for more: "And if he doesn't?"

Christian Grey straightened his posture and his face relaxed into an impassive expression: "The frostiness between me and the Governor will be pointed out to the press and his negative influence on the deal will be suggested to them. Underwood is a career politician; he knows how this is played," he finished and unbuttoned his tuxedo jacket to place the phone back in his pocket.

When he raised his eyes Ana was staring at his left breast and his hand followed her gaze touching the fabric of his suit: she must have seen the envelope.

"I have not read it yet, there hasn't been time," he explained, hoping she will understand he wanted undisturbed time to read her words.

Her beautiful blue eyes filled with tears and her face had an almost tender look tugging at his heart. The distance between them was suddenly too great and he gave in, a little, to the need of being closer, and sat down at the other end of the couch leaving just one empty space between them.

Dan also moved from his perch by the table and pulled a chair to face the couch, then sat down.

All of them in such close proximity created a strange familiarity and the awareness of just what had brought them to this unexpected moment in their lives washed over them.

"What happened tonight?" Christian asked, "Why did he storm out of the bar like that?"

The moment of calm was instantly shattered, Dan tensing up in his chair and Ana's eyes widening in fear and anguish.

"He found out." She managed, "or at least he suspects," she paused before speaking out loud the words that had so far only been implied, "that you are his father," she finished in a whisper.

The colour drained from Christian's face as he took in her worried appearance.

"He was not happy," he commented.

It was not a question, but Christian's sentences, as a rule, ended in a full stop. This one had a trailing edge to it, like a comma or an ellipsis, and she noticed the eyes: the querying, questioning look that did no more belong to Christian Grey than the hesitation in his words. Her overfilled heart finally broke, realising just how right Elliot had been to lash out at her: she was going to hurt him again.

As the first sob left her chest, Christian urged: "Anastasia."

"He doesn't know, Christian. He doesn't know you and he doesn't know the truth. I didn't know either. But I'll tell him, I'll tell him everything. I'll tell him how much you care and how much you have been there for him, for us." She pleaded with him, the words rushing out to cocoon him, to protect him, to cushion the impact of her enormous stupidity.

Patience however was not part of Christian Grey's complex personality either and her avoidance of the answer only deepened the icy coldness of the fear spreading through him. His eyes hard and unforgiving, the words barely making it past the tension in his jaw, he clearly enunciated: "What does Teddy know about me, Anastasia?"

"That you left us to start another family."

She had whispered the words among the sobs shaking her shoulders but they had hit their mark nevertheless. Anger and hurt gripped Christian and propelled him to his feet, ready to strike, to hit, to rage against the woman huddled in the corner of the sofa. With a supreme effort he stuffed his clenched fists in his pockets and paced away, turning his back on her lest she sees the devastation in his face.

Like a caged lion he paced back and forth in the tiny space, narrowly avoiding the furniture and repeatedly eyeing the walls and window wondering how satisfying it would be to just throw his fist through one of them.

"Mr Grey," Dan started but stopped immediately as the grey stare landed on him, the intensity of the feelings shining through them burning through his attempt to interfere. Of all the things he had heard about Grey, of all he had seen in the morning and during the past few minutes, it was in this moment Dan Parson truly got the measure of the man who was Eddy's biological father. As angry and hurt as he was, Grey still found the strength to correct him:

"Christian," he said, the voice thick with the tension in his whole body.

"Christian," Dan bowed to the reminder, "Belle and I, we have both been at fault. We have failed both our boys in this respect and we will do what we can to help them understand where they really come from, the truth behind their family. All of their family."

Through Dan's little speech, what was left of Christian's reason reminded him of all the explanations, the excuses he had made for Ana through the years. Barely acknowledging Dan Parson he walked to stand in front of her still huddled frame. He needed to know, but words were not going to be enough so he summoned her: "Anastasia, look at me."

Their eyes met and he finally voiced the question: "You really believed that, didn't you? That I have left you and Teddy."

There were no words, they were not necessary. The hurt in her eyes now matched his and the combined weight of their grief shifted his anger from her and towards the people who had interfered with their lives.

A knock on the door forced him to swallow his words.

"Enter," he ordered, leaving no doubt as to who was in charge.

Dr Colin Fair's patience was already wearing thin and it was not even nine o'clock. ER shifts could do that to you: make you wonder why in hell you chose medicine instead of doing something easy, like quantum physics or solving world peace. And tonight had been one of those nights: four ambulances coming at the same time, one of those 'I'm fine get your hands off me' types who proved to be a near fatal injury, one turning out to be some kind of VIP under the direct protection of the CFO of the board, the ER personnel throwing death stares at him as soon as he stopped for breath because the VIP's family had taken over the personnel lounge - courtesy of same CFO - so they had nowhere to go for breaks and now his entry into the room was barred by a young stocky female. Her clothes were casual, but there was nothing matter of fact in her demeanour or her voice as she asked him to wait for permission to enter. At the barked 'Enter' that followed her knock on the closed door he glared at her, daring her to delay him any further. He could have saved himself the effort for all the effect it had on her: cool as a cucumber, she opened the door and calmly announced him: "Dr Colin Fair, sir."

The three people currently occupying the lounge were so tense, Colin was suddenly happy to have some sort of security person just outside and had to make an effort to not jump at the soft click of the door closing behind him. He exhaled and allowed his frustration to leave him with his breath. PITA or not, these were concerned relatives waiting to hear news of their loved one.

"Mr and Mrs Parson," he greeted the man and woman who he recognized as his patient's parents.

They both stood up, anxiety obvious in their eyes. He turned his head to the third man in the room: wearing an unbuttoned tuxedo, his tie loosened around his neck, his attire was a definite contrast with the casual dress of the other two.

"It's OK doctor, just please tell us." Dan Parson prompted.

"Your son is fine, Mr Parson. The brain and head CT were normal, there is no indication he has suffered a concussion. He has slightly displaced the bones in his elbow. We have realigned them and have placed the arm in a splint which he will have to wear for the next few days. He should be seen by an orthopaedic specialist come Monday but there was no fracture and no other damage so he should be able to start moving the arm next week. No strenuous exercise though. The specialist will give you more precise instructions. We have had to give him some strong pain medication before we realigned the bones and a side effect of that is memory loss, usually limited to a couple of hours after the drug has been administered. Essentially he won't remember his elbow being straightened, any advice we have given him since then or anything you will tell him in the next hour or so."

"He was unconscious for a while." The tuxedo clad VIP noted.

"Yes, elbow injuries can be quite painful, I'm afraid. I think he simply passed out. Oh, his neck muscles and upper back might be a little stiff and sore for a few days. Any ordinary pain relief should help as will massage, heat and stretching exercises."

"When can we see him?" the mother asked, distracting Colin from wondering just what the connection was between the VIP and the young man. There was a certain physical resemblance and the man had gone all pale at the mention of the patient being in pain.

"He is on his way down, should be here any minute. If you have any other questions I will be at the nurse's station writing his discharge and a note for the orthopaedic surgeon."

"So we can take him home?" Dan asked

The silence in the room again acquired a heavy quality hinting at the tension he had found when entering the room.

"Yes, Mr Parson. Well, I'll see you in a few minutes." He said and made his escape into the corridor.

Behind him the silence stretched, uncomfortable, between the three remaining occupants of the room, too many unresolved issues and too many unanswered questions hanging between them.

Christian raked his fingers through his hair the gesture breaking some of the tension.

"Before you go," he said and then straightened up with new found determination and lowered his gaze just enough to find Ana's eyes again, "what you have said before, about telling him the truth… I do want him to know, I hope he will want to know me, but this can't be about me, Anastasia, or about you. It has to be about him, on his terms."

His grey eyes were boring into hers with only traces left of the anguish she had seen there just moments ago. He had made a decision and was informing her, in no uncertain terms, of what that decision was. She slowly nodded her understanding and acceptance and then Dan was by her side, his hand stretched out to Christian.

"Christian." He said

"Mr Parson." Christian replied taking the outstretched hand.

Embarrassed at the formality, Dan realized he had not had the opportunity to return the courtesy of using first names. "Dan," he replied.

Christian Grey acknowledged the exchange with a small nod of his head: "Dan."

Letting go of Dan Parson's hand, Christian nodded to Ana: "Anastasia."

He didn't stretch his hand to her and again she found herself torn between relief that she wouldn't have to touch him and hurt that he didn't want to touch her. She turned to follow Dan out of the room then stopped in the doorway and turned back to him. She had been a little unsure of whether she should say anything at all but there was a longing in his stare, a wistfulness in his expression, that bolstered her confidence: "Please don't be angry at Elliot. He cares for you, he loves you."

The words were barely out of her mouth when the atmosphere changed again, charged and vibrating with the unspoken question between them. Even Dan felt the change and turned around to once again witness the silent exchange and the overwhelming primal connection between the two, then Grey's face shut down again.

"You'd better go," Christian urged in that rough voice that betrayed he was losing the battle against his feelings. He watched her turn away from him and just couldn't bear to let their encounter end like this. "Ana," he called.

As she once again turned towards him, he placed his hand over the pocket holding her letter. Her beautiful blue eyes were drawn to his hand then slowly raised to meet his one more time, questioning, searching.

Standing between Christian and Dan, there was no doubt in her mind as to where she would rather be. But her son needed her and Christian was no longer hers. He would read her letter and he'd called her 'Ana', it was already more than she had dared hope for. She bowed her head, hiding the regret and longing in her eyes behind the acknowledging gesture, and allowed the door to close between them.

**AN: Next chapter will be Christian's POV**


	27. Summer Storm Ch27 The end of an era

**AN: Good morning ladies! Another Christian POV chapter below. After the last chapter I wanted to perhaps give him a cuddle or two but he had other plans...LOL**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch27 The end of an era

The nurse closed the door behind her and then the only thing breaking the silence was the ragged breath of the man lying in the hospital bed behind him. 48 hours ago he would have dismissed the thought of being alone in a room with this particular man as ridiculous and possibly dangerous for both of them. But that was two days ago.

Standing in front of the hospital room window, Christian Grey raked the fingers of one hand through his hair. Grace and Samantha were busy with preparations for the ball later in the evening – apparently eight hours was the minimum preparation time required for Sam's first appearance at a public event – and Elliot had found three tennis enthusiasts in need of a fourth for a game, although Christian suspected he was mostly still avoiding being alone with him.

He sighed and placed both hands on the windows sill.

Thursday evening he had needed a few minutes to himself before he could once again face the world outside that personnel room. On opening the door he had been surprised to find Dan Parson leaning against the opposite wall in the brightly lit corridor. His anxiety flared briefly, but he knew that had there been any change in Teddy he would have been informed, so he had glared at the man who had replaced Miss Baer at the door.

"_Mr Parson has asked me not to disturb you, sir." The man responded to his employer's unhappy stare._

"_He is right, Christian," Dan said. "Eddy is mostly asleep, Carter Ellis is talking to the police and Belle is gathering all the paperwork from the doctor. But there is something I have just thought of and I was wondering if I could have a minute. In private might be better." He finished with a glance to the security guard._

_At Christian's nod the man moved several steps down the corridor._

"_Of course. How is Teddy?"_

_Dan sighed. "Still a bit confused over what happened. Angry, I think. He doesn't really talk to me or to his mother and the medication is making him sleepy." He passed a hand over his face. "What I wanted to tell you, ask you, is that…his trust fund, the letter he is due to receive Monday, can it be delayed for a while? Eddy is…he won't care about the money, Christian. Nick said something to us when he figured out who you are, that makes me think it might be better if Eddy had a chance to learn about you, maybe get to know you, before he finds out about the trust fund."_

"_He'll think I am trying to buy him." Christian stated in flat voice._

Apparently his son and his son's mother had one thing in common: his money meant nothing to them. So he had agreed to stop the letter. That meeting had also provided him with the opportunity to hand Dan his business card with his personal cell number and Andrea's direct number.

His appreciation for Greg McKenzie had reached a new level that evening as the man had waited without questioning him and without fussing in his seat while they both sat for another twenty minutes in the parked Audi, waiting for the Parson's to leave, discreetly followed by another car. McKenzie had caught his eye in the rear view mirror and confirmed without waiting for the question: _'One of ours, sir.'_

His next words however had led to one of Christian's less stellar decisions: _'Where to, sir?'_

'S_omewhere with very little light and an abundance of alcohol,_' he had requested, and once again he was not disappointed. The place McKenzie had found was almost dark, the only illumination being provided by what would anywhere else pass for no more than courtesy lightning, ensconced in wall recesses here and there. The music was a series of jazz pieces played just loud enough to offer some privacy for whispered conversations and the whiskey had proven to be top shelf. The fact that most of the other tables were occupied by couples engaged in various stages of foreplay did not bother him. The scantily dressed women left him alone and so he couldn't care less about what the place obviously was, as long as it fitted his purpose for the night: to get drunk in peace.

It was after midnight, and he was seriously intoxicated, before he made it back to the hotel and to the suite he shared with Elliot. Unfortunately not drunk enough to not remember the little scene he had caused in the suite. Elliot had been sitting on the sofa in the spacious living area, his laptop in front of him. As Christian had entered he had closed the lid and stood up.

'_Christian'_ Elliot had started, but stopped as his brother had raised one hand to utter the words he now regretted but could not in all honestly retract: _'Elliot'_ he had slurred '_you're my brother, and I love you. But don't ever come between me and my family again_.'

He had somehow negotiated an almost straight line to the door of his bedroom and then had thrown over his shoulder, as if it would explain everything: _'She forgives you.'_

And then he had allowed himself to fall face first on the bed and call lights out on Teddy's graduation day.

Between his hangover and his veiled threat to Elliot, breakfast Friday morning would have been awkward anyway, but on seeing Samantha, something Dan Parson had said echoed in his mind: '_we will do what we can to help them understand where they come from, the truth behind their family. All of their family._'

He had spoken with Samantha about her mother a few times and had told her as much as common decency allowed about his true relationship with Madeleine. Sam was also very much aware of his feelings for Ana and Teddy. But had he done enough? Sam had not asked about her mother in a few years and he had never thought of asking her how she felt about his attachment to Ana and Teddy. She had seemed all right with all of it, but then Teddy had also seemed happy and well adjusted, at least from the outside. He had made a vow to set aside some time for a father and daughter talk, soon.

The team he had on Teddy had reported that the Parsons were loading the two cars and preparing to leave for Rock Hill. Would Teddy ask about him? Would he want to know? Would he be angry? Upset? Hurt? The questions were driving him crazy so he had offered to take everybody out to the zoo and the botanical garden. He had had to specifically invite Elliot, but in the end they had enjoyed a leisurely walk in the sunny weather, taking advantage of his relative anonymity on this side of the continent.

For the evening they were going to attend a ballet performance at the Koger Centre, but in between he had excused himself just before lunch to attend his telephone conference with Ros and to finally be able to read Ana's letter.

_Dear Christian,_

_Just writing those first two words has taken me some time and, frankly, courage. But you have always maintained that I am most honest and open with my thoughts when writing and so I will try and remain true to that statement._

_The difficulty is that I don't know if you would even want to read this. I hope you will not find it an imposition, an intrusion in your life, but I could no longer keep silent and not tell you how terribly sorry I am for my behaviour. I am sorry for the way I left Seattle and most of all I am sorry that I took Teddy away from you and him away from his father. Please believe me when I say that at the time I had no idea of how wrong that decision was. I was in Montesano and never knew you tried to reach me, or that anybody else did. I had been waiting, hoping, dreading to hear from you, but the silence was deafening and what ultimately led me to agree to leave the way I did. _

_It was not my intention to deceive you with the divorce settlement. As incredible as it may sound, I have only recently realized how wrong I was in my belief that you no longer wanted Teddy to be a part of your life. After Luke's visit to Rock Hill, my eyes have opened to a myriad of details I had not considered before and I am deeply grateful for everything you have done for us and for me over the years. Your generosity, care and consideration are as always flawless. _

_In contrast, my selfishness is only more apparent and has led to a situation where Teddy doesn't know his father or his family. I hope I will be able to tell him about you, Christian. About how you have been here and watched him grow and helped smooth the path for him whenever he needed it. I know about the piano school, which he loves, and the language club and the martial arts centre and I will be sure to tell him, if he allows me to. And I'll tell him about you being here to celebrate his milestones and his achievements, his birthdays, his school plays, his piano performances. _

_You were right in your assumption that he doesn't know about you and the little he knows will make it more difficult for him to accept all this new information, so it may take some time for him to come to terms with it. He is passionate and sometimes his emotions get in the way of him changing his opinion, but he is also very smart and inquisitive and once he has all the details I am sure he will come to the right conclusion: that it was not you who left us, but rather me who took him away from you._

_Once he knows, there is a possibility that he might want to meet you and I have to ask if you would be willing to meet him. I also have something I need to ask of you, about his trust fund. Would you consider delaying the letter for a while? I think Teddy might see the money in a negative light if he receives it before he has come to terms with the fact that you know of him and care about him._

_There is something else I hope you would agree to: I am aware that I have not only taken Teddy away from you, I have also taken him away from the rest of his family. I would be grateful if you would consider allowing me to apologize to them as well, for taking Teddy away and for believing that they didn't want him in their lives. As I don't know how much they know or even if they would be willing to hear something as lame as an apology, I will bow to your judgement and not attempt to contact them unless I have your permission to do so._

_I was sad to hear Carrick has passed away. I am truly sorry for your loss, Christian. He was a good man who cared deeply for all of you and was totally dedicated to his family. _

_There is more, so much more I would like to tell you, but I fully understand that we have both built different lives and have different people around us now. So I will stop here, with the renewed promise that I will let Teddy know the truth, as long as that may take._

_Remorseful beyond words,_

_Ana_

He had read it several times, tried to second guess the words, allowed his eyes to take in the sight of her handwriting and had only stopped with the ridiculous behaviour when he had caught himself idly caressing the paper she had touched. He was not too impressed with his behaviour at the ER either: he should have been able to shake her hand, but had not dared tempt fate that way.

And now he was left with a myriad of questions.

From the title of the letter and the 'I am most honest and open in writing': did that mean he was still dear to her? The letter and the previous evening had left him with the impression that she was still hurt, but not angry with him. She had however been angry with Taylor and with Elliot. How did that made sense? She of course was still under the impression that he had broken his marriage vows to her and that thought still hurt. But her letter, especially compared to his business like one to her, had been warm, friendly, familiar. He had not missed the small clues in the letter: '_I am sorry for the way I left Seattle' _not that she had left; '_how wrong I was in my belief that you no longer wanted Teddy to be a part of your life': _Teddy, not 'us'.

Should he tell her the truth? Would she accept to hear just the part that he could tell without bringing more drama into the family? How would that make her feel finding out it had all been a misunderstanding? Would it break her marriage? He had seen her and Dan together many times, of course, so he was relatively familiar with how they interacted with each other. The previous evening something had been off between them. Did it make him a bad person that he was not upset about it? Teddy was already angry and upset; if he did anything to break his family apart would he hate him? And then of course there was Samantha: that she knew the truth was one thing, but would telling the rest of the family change the way they saw her? And if this got out…One of the main reasons he had kept her parentage a tightly guarded secret would soon be moot, but a media storm was still sure to follow and Sam would be right in the middle of it.

Over and over and over the questions had rolled in his mind, through the afternoon and the dinner, until he had noticed Samantha's concerned glances. He had made an effort to be more social but during the ballet performance the spinning wheel of questions had again started turning. Finally in the early hours of the morning he had had to admit that his hands were for now tied, waiting for Teddy's reaction.

He had not realized he had started pacing until the closed door of the hospital room was suddenly in his way. He turned around and leaned against the wooden frame, arms crossed over his chest. He'll have to deal with Elliot. The trick up his sleeve - the one that had allowed him to create the impression that he had acquired some social skills over the years – was that when in doubt on how to tackle a social situation he'd think of what Ana would have done. However wondering what Ana would do about this particular problem was pointless; he knew exactly what she would do. He sighed: apologize to Elliot it was.

"Something 's wrong with this picture." The croaky voice interrupted his musings.

Brought back to the here and now, Christian realized that standing as he did with his back to the door, arms crossed over his chest, he looked as if he was guarding the previously sleeping man.

"If you are well enough to perceive some humour in this situation I presume you are well enough to talk?" He asked.

"I seem to be awake, there's that." Taylor replied.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Yeah, hospital. Columbia I presume."

Christian nodded and moved to the foot of the bed, his harsh grey stare assessing his former head of security.

"Is Teddy all right?" asked Taylor, still avoiding the confrontation he had dreaded for so long.

"Teddy is fine. You saved him, saved his life." Christian acknowledged.

Taylor frowned in concentration: "What happened? I remember the car coming at me then my car spinning…" the memory of his encounter with Ana emerging through his foggy mind he let his voice trail.

"Why did you do that, Taylor? Once you pushed Teddy out of the way why did you keep going at that idiot?"

They were both skirting around the issue, Jason realized. He closed his eyes and let his head fall heavily on the pillow. "There wasn't much else I could do. To the right was Teddy's car and if I'd gone left there was always a risk the idiot would go right."

"So you let him come at you?"

"No. I went for him instead. I meant to use the impact to push him back, away from Teddy."

"A frontal collision might have killed you." Christian stated the obvious in a flat voice.

Taylor opened his eyes again: "What happened?" he repeated, avoiding an explanation.

"D'Amato tried to push you out of the way but he only got as far as the rear end of your car."

"Why would he do that? Is he all right?"

Christian's temper flared: "For some reason he didn't think you deserved to die. And yes, he is."

"Do you? Believe I deserved to die, I mean?" Taylor asked, finally addressing the unspoken issue between them.

"No." Christian answered in the same flat voice. "Even if it weren't for the fact that you have saved Teddy's life, I never thought you deserved to die."

It was time for Christian to say what he had come to this room to say: "You need to go home Taylor. The past is in the past. You have my gratitude, and Anastasia's, for yesterday, but now you have to let go and go home."

"She was there, in the ER," Jason said. "She is angry with me and Gail, she thinks…"

"You are injured and probably still in pain and as said we are both grateful for what you did for Teddy," Christian interrupted, "but I am serious when I say that you need to stay out of this."

The pain on Taylor's face had nothing to do with his physical injuries: "Gail doesn't know about any of this. I'll have to tell her something."

"I have hired a lawyer, Carter Ellis, for all three of the cars involved. He'll be around later today to speak with you. He knows Teddy but he is not aware that he is my son. As far as anybody else is concerned D'Amato is the only connection to me and Ellis knows to be discreet about that."

Something Christian had said earlier finally clicked in Jason's mind: "You have spoken with her, with Ana."

"Taylor, after what you did for Teddy, I would rather bury the past and let it go. But I will not tolerate any further interference in our lives."

"I don't remember what I said to her." Jason confessed.

"Not much. You collapsed almost immediately, but it was a close call." The unrelenting grey eyes bore into him.

"I never got to apologize for what I did, or didn't do, back then. I have regretted my actions many times since then. For what it's worth, I truly believed I was acting in Ana's best interest. When I found them and then found out what really happened, I thought it would break her heart to know the truth when it was too late. You both had new lives, different lives."

Taylor had rushed his apology taking advantage that Grey was distracted by reading something on his phone, but as Christian placed the device back in his pocket and lifted his head again the tense jaw muscles and the intensity of feeling in the grey eyes made him stop the flow of words. A curt nod was all the answer he got to his apology-slash-explanation: acceptance but not forgiveness, not that he had really hoped for the latter.

"Gail is on her way. She'll be here in a few minutes," Christian said.

"A traffic accident. I got it." Taylor replied. He could do this much.

For a moment they just looked at each other, the years of trust, the almost friendship they had developed, even broken by that one betrayal, still affecting their relationship.

"Will you ever let him know, let Teddy know, who you are?" Taylor dared.

"He knows. He figured it out yesterday evening." Christian replied, for a moment answering to the same memory of their past relationship. "Go home, Jason," he added, both men knowing that there was nothing left to say between them.

"Yes, sir." Was Jason reply before Christian Grey left his hospital room.

**AN: Next chapter will be a little bit of a time warp as we'll go back to see how Eddy coped with his Friday morning**


	28. Summer Storm Ch28 Unravelling

**AN : Good morning and Happy Easter to those who celebrate. Just a reminder that this chapter is during Friday morning, the day after graduation.** **As an Easter treat I will be posting the next chapter Monday morning so if you have not followed the story you might want to check back in a couple of days. ;)**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back (Ana and Christian split up at the same point in their lives, Ana takes Teddy and disappears and at the time the story starts Ana and CG have the same family structure). **

Ch 28 Unravelling

As consciousness slowly invaded, Eddy decided he could keep his eyes closed for just a little longer. It wasn't that often he woke up without being dragged from sleep by the sound of an alarm blaring in his ears. His arm felt weird, kind of heavy, and he moved a little to stretch it. Pain! His neck and his back felt like one big bruise and his arm wouldn't stretch. He opened his eyes with a groan: his left arm was in some form of cast. The memory of the bright headlights driving straight towards him flooded his mind and he froze just as he had done on the highway.

"Eddy, are you OK?"

He opened his eyes to the sight of his older brother standing in the door of his bedroom. They had been out drinking. He remembered the bar, driving through the rain. He was angry, so angry his mind was frozen and unable to function. Nick's phone. The pictures. Anastasia Grey. Theodore Raymond Grey. Grey.

"What happened?" he asked, not sure how much was dream and how much was reality.

Nick hesitated. Despite his bravado the previous night - when he had assured their parents him and Eddy would be alright by themselves - he had been more than a little apprehensive about confronting his brother in the morning. He walked into the bedroom and sat at the foot of the bed.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"The headlights." Eddy answered truthfully but then more memories resurfaced." The hospital. Mom and dad were there. This guy collapsed and there was a commotion." He stopped and frowned. "There was a man there, kneeling by his side, by the injured guy. And a woman." Realizing most of his memories were probably reality, his hurt feelings resurfaced and threatened to break some kind of dam inside of him. "I had seen both of them before. He was in the picture on your phone and I think she is a student, I've seen her around a few times."

Nick had no idea who he was talking about but the mention of his phone and of the pictures had put him on notice that Eddy did remember what he had seen in the bar. The two brothers just sat looking at each other for several moments.

"It's true? The pictures. He's my…" Eddy took a deep breath. "Is Grey my biological father?"

"Yes." Nick said and accompanied his verbal answer by a nod. "Eddy, before you jump to conclusions, you have to know there is much more behind this than either of us knew or ever could imagine. I don't know that it's my place to give you the details, mom and dad should be around as soon as I tell them you are up, but can you please try to give them a chance to explain?"

"Explain what?" Eddy said throwing the covers away and standing a little unsteadily.

"He never abandoned you Eddy. He kind of has been there, helped out, paid for a lot of stuff." At Eddy's angry look he quickly added: "He came to see you, watched you on your birthdays and school plays and stuff like that."

"He knows who I am?" Eddy asked, surprised.

"Yeah, he does. Found you and mom a few years ago."

"What do you mean he 'found' us?"

Nick sighed. "It really shouldn't be me telling you this."

Eddy nodded and walked out of the bedroom and then the door to the bathroom banged shut. Defeated, Nick went in search of his phone to call their parents.

Dan and Ana had spent a restless night. Between the worry for Eddy and the unexpected encounters with first Elliot and then Christian they both had so much on their minds that sleep only came in the early morning, and even then it was fitful and superficial. Morning didn't bring them much relief either.

Emma had been asleep when they got back to their room the previous night but as soon as she woke up she asked about Eddy. They told her about the accident and quickly reassured her that he only had a minor injury but then realized she will inevitably find out about Christian. Emma knew Dan was not Eddy's biological father mostly be default: she knew Dan already had Nick and Ana already had Eddy before they met, but they had no more discussed the subject of Eddy's father with her than they had with anybody else, including each other.

The silence stretched in the small hotel room as the two embarrassed adults looked at each other over their daughter's head.

"Mom? Did something else happen? Is Nick alright? I mean I know I upset Carol-Ann, I still don't really know why but has she broken up with Nick because of me?"

"What? No, what makes you think that?"

"Well I was talking to her and then when we came downstairs she was all quiet and stormed out of the house. I tried to talk to Nick about it but he wouldn't talk to me and she didn't come to say hello at graduation," Emma said, tears gathering in her eyes.

"God, Emma! No, sweetheart, this has nothing to do with you." Said Ana holding her daughter in an embrace.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. Is this why you have been so quiet these past few days?"

Emma bobbed her head against her mother's chest.

"Oh, Emma, you are all so grown up and independent, but I wish you would still talk to me when something is bothering you. I'm sorry I didn't ask why you were upset."

"It's alright." Emma said pushing away and quickly dabbing at her eyes.

Ana's heart clenched at seeing Emma upset. She did remember the scene Emma was talking about.

"Carol-Ann did storm out of the house that evening, didn't she? Out of curiosity can I ask what the two of you had been talking about?"

"Nothing much really. We were in my room looking for some leggings. We talked a little about the pictures and she asked about Aunt Kate, then went to the bathroom to change and that's it. After that she just went to the kitchen to look for something in her bag and then she just wanted to leave."

Ana sighed. That was it: Carol-Ann had probably recognized Kate.

"So if it's not me what's going on?" asked Emma

Ana took both her daughter's hands in hers and looked her in the eye to try and gauge her state of mind.

"You know how I already had Eddy by the time Dan and I met?"

With a quick look at her father Emma nodded.

"Well, we never really talked about it, about how come I had Eddy."

Emma blushed a little and Ana felt a little heat rising in her cheeks but pushed forward: "The truth is that I was married before and got divorced and then moved away and took Eddy with me."

"Um, yeah, I mean I didn't know you were married but…" Emma trailed uncertain why her mother had chosen this moment to talk about a subject that had been practically banned from their life until now.

"Eddy has found out who his father, his biological father, is. That's why he was upset yesterday and got into the accident."

Emma's eyes grew wide: "He did? How?"

"Well, Nick and Carol-Ann figured it out first and Nick had some pictures on his phone."

"Oh," is all Emma said, still confused as to why it was important enough for her to know this before breakfast. Then she frowned: "If he only saw pictures," worry deepened the frown between her eyebrows," is it someone we know? Because that will really upset him, you know."

"Why do you say that?" Ana asked, hoping to get some more insight into her son's feelings about his biological father.

But Dan was getting anxious to get their day going so he interrupted: "Belle, perhaps we should just tell her."

"Oh, no, it is someone we know!" Emma exclaimed. "Eddy is going to blow a gasket at him. Who is it?"

Gently, tenderly, once again realizing just how big this was for her children - all of her children - Ana delayed for a little longer: "You don't really know him, but you have seen him yesterday, at graduation."

"Well, there were a lot of people there." Growing impatient herself Emma turned to her dad.

"Christian Grey," Dan said.

"W…What?" is all Emma could muster.

"Christian Grey, the graduation speaker, is Eddy's biological father." Dan repeated, leaving no room for more doubt.

After a few failed attempts to articulate her thoughts Emma finally managed to string a coherent sentence together: "Does he know, about Eddy I mean, does he know who he is?"

"Yes, he does."

Dan had been holding his phone in his hand so they all three heard the buzz of the vibration even before the melody of a received text message interrupted them.

"It's Nick. They are up and he says Eddy had a lot of questions so we should better get there."

Emma had stood up and was now bouncing from one foot to the other, using the motion to dispel some of the strong feelings building up inside her.

But there was a reason Ana and Dan had shared the news with their daughter before they saw Eddy this morning.

"Emma," Ana said, "I am sure you have a lot of questions and I hope I'll be able to answer them, but right now, today, we have to go to Eddy. We, all of us, we have to let him ask his questions first, OK? I am not sure how much he wants to know, how much he will be able to put up with today, so can you try and let him ask what he wants and wait with your own questions until later? I promise I will make time to talk to you, we both will," she finished with a look towards Dan.

Dan nodded but then looked at Ana again prompting her to say the other thing Emma needed to know.

"One more thing, Emma: at least for now this has to remain a secret. You can't tell your friends or anybody else. This has to be Eddy's decision, his choice."

"Yeah, sure," Emma replied a little distracted.

"Emma, I mean this. It's really important. Once word gets out it can't be stopped, sweetheart. I'm sorry to ask you this but I hope you can see how important it is. You remember before the graduation, all the people talking about it, about Christian and how they wanted to see him and meet him. We can't bring this on Eddy," Ana pleaded, trying to formulate a convincing argument without scaring Emma.

"I know, I remember. That's just it. They were talking about it when we were over at Amanda's, how no one knew where his first child and wife were since the divorce. Some of the things they said…But that's Eddy and you?" she finished, puzzled.

Her mother's slow nod did nothing to clear the confusion in her mind so she stated the obvious: "This is so big! I'm sorry dad, but it is. Of all the people…" she shook her head.

"I know, Emma." Ana said, knowing this was just the tip of the iceberg.

"We have to go," Dan reminded them.

For the nest few minutes they gathered their belongings in silence, each of them lost in their own thoughts, but all too soon they had finished packing the little they had brought with them and Dan was holding the door open for his wife and daughter.

Due to the proximity to the university, the street where Eddy had rented his apartment was very popular among students and Ana, Dan and Emma were greeted by loud, cheerful chaos: shouted instructions, doors and windows opening and closing, the occasional expletive, laughter and music blaring from various devices, none loud enough to overpower the others but all putting in a good effort. In other words it was Moving Day.

In front of Eddy's building Nick was already busy putting something in his car. There were no more parking spaces so Dan imitated some of the other drivers and simply parked the car alongside Nick's. He made sure he was extra careful getting out of the car on the busy street - the last thing he needed was somebody driving by and yanking his door - and that's how he saw him, almost immediately opposite Eddy's building, the man who had replaced Elisabeth something-or-other at the hospital, also apparently packing the trunk of a car.

Frowning, he got out of the car and stood guard as Ana and Emma also climbed out.

"Let's get out of here as soon as we can, OK?" he said to Ana.

She nodded in complete agreement and turned to Nick to say good morning but instead of Nick's brown eyes she met Eddy's blue ones.

"Eddy, honey, are you all right?" she said, the first thing that came to her. The crease immediately forming between his eyebrows and the deep sadness in his eyes made her quickly rephrase. This was not the time and the place, not with everybody milling about: "Are you in pain?"

Eddy shrugged but kept his eyes on her a little longer then turned his head to Dan. With a gesture so familiar it tore at Ana's heart he raked the fingers of his uninjured hand through his hair:

"Nick won't let me do anything but I'd like to get this over with."

"It's OK Eddy, we'll get this done. There isn't that much to get, is there?" Dan said.

And it really wasn't. In less than an hour all Eddy's belongings had been moved to the two cars, the last of the surfaces and the floor upstairs were wiped clean and the key placed in the letter box.

Outside the chaos was still on going, some of his neighbours having obviously made a late start, and Eddy stopped several times to shake hands and say good bye to people. Dan had kept a nervous eye on the car across the street but the man seemed to have finished his packing and there had been no activity for the past few minutes. He was watching Eddy return from saying his goodbyes to yet another colleague as Ana and Nick were making plans for what now amounted to brunch.

"Ready to go, Eddy?" he asked, one hand on the door handle.

"Yeah, I guess. Sorry for the delay."

"No problem. I'm happy to see you had so many friends. Well, it sounds like we're having brunch on Elmwood drive if that's OK with you."

Everybody had carefully avoided the elephant in the room but Dan's forced cheerfulness contrasting with Eddy's sombre and withdrawn mood pointed a finger at the fact that there was an elephant between them and a stampede waiting to happen.

"Elmwood's fine. I think I know the place." Eddy conceded in an effort to keep the peace for a moment longer. He stopped by the rear door of the car and took a last look at the building that had been his home for the past three years, then turned around to step into the back seat of his brother's car. With his hand on the handle he seemed to have a sudden change of heart:

"I'll be right back," he said and walked with long strides across the street.

"C'mon Eddy, not another one, we'll never get out of here." Nick protested while Dan watched the drama about to unfold on the other side of the street, where Elizabeth was walking in their direction with one paper bag under the arm.

"Dan," Ana said gripping his arm. "Isn't that…"

He had no idea what he was going to do but Dan was certain that his son was nowhere close to being ready to find out he had a body guard, so he followed him across the street, his shouted "Eddy" loud enough to draw the young woman's attention to them.

The woman stopped and shifted the bag to a better position then started to walk again but by now Eddy was blocking her way.

"Um, excuse me." She said trying to pass by him.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to bother you, but you were at the hospital last night, weren't you?" Eddy Parson asked her.

This was not supposed to happen. In fact this was something she had specifically been told should not happen. Betty darted a look over Eddy's shoulder towards his approaching father.

"Eddy, we really should go." Dan said.

But Eddy kept looking at the woman and was not moving: "I have seen you around before," he told her.

"I live here, the door just behind you," she jutted her chin. She had deliberately made the words sound clipped and hostile, hoping he will get a hint and leave her alone.

"But you were also at the hospital. I'm sure I saw you there. You were talking to that man, his brother."

Betty was young but not completely green. Unless one knew exactly what Eddy was talking about, his words were not making much sense, so that was her out: "I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean," she said.

"Eddy, son, let the lady pass," Dan said.

Alerted by the strain in his dad's voice Eddy looked at him and the concern in the older man's face confirmed that he had not been imagining things. The woman however had already taken advantage of his moment of inattention and was now walking away.

"She was there." He said looking at the quickly retreating back.

"Yes, she was." Dan acknowledged

"Why did she lie?"

"She didn't technically lie," Dan sighed. "It's a long story Eddy and we are in the middle of a busy street."

As it had so many times since last evening Eddy's heart started beating a fast uneven rhythm.

"Nick told me it's true. The pictures are true. His brother was there last night, I saw him with the man on the floor."

Distressed victims - that's how they talked, Dan remembered. Not really making sense unless you knew what they were talking about, avoiding certain words, names…But he did know what his son was talking about, much as he wished he didn't. Simple words and the truth were what was needed in such circumstances, except there were no simple words to explain what was going on in their lives, in Eddy's life.

"He wasn't there." Eddy said.

"Who, Eddy?"

"Him. My…Grey."

Dan bowed his head collecting his thoughts. The truth and simple words, he reminded himself: "Yes, he was. You just didn't see him."

"Why?"

"Eddy," the pain etched in his son's face stopped Dan's words in his throat.

"Why didn't he come to see me?"

"He didn't know if you wanted him to," Dan answered truthfully.

As the hurt was again being replaced by anger at the thought of the man who was his father - a father he had never known and who had never known him - Eddy could see how that statement made sense. There were no words to express his mixed feelings of anger and disappointment and so he just turned and walked back to their cars.

Food was the last thing on the Parson's minds but they needed a routine, some normalcy in their lives, and so they did stop at the diner. They ordered their food one by one among tense silence and when the waitress collected their menus and left, Eddy looked to Emma and frowned: "You OK, squirt?"

"Don't call me squirt," came the automatic reply, but there was no strength behind her fake indignation.

"You are awfully quiet," Eddy pointed out.

He had meant that as an ice breaker, something to start some easy banter between them, but when she just looked back, eyes full of concern and then darting towards their parents realization dawned: "They've told you…What did they tell you?" he amended his sentence midway.

"We have told Emma about your father, Eddy. Who he is and that you know about him," Dan said, uneasy with the undercurrent of feelings and the heavy silence around the table.

Eddy's troubled eyes glided over his parents and then settled on the window and the parking lot behind it.

"What happened yesterday? I remember the headlights coming at me, then this massive jolt to the car and then I think I passed away. Next thing I now I was in the ambulance." Eddy said focusing back on his parents, or rather, after a cursory glance at his mother, on his dad.

Dan took a deep breath and released it in one long sigh: there was no escaping this. Every single one of Eddy's questions seemed to require an answer involving Christian Grey.

"The man in the car behind you pushed you out of the way," he explained.

Both Nick and Eddy were surprised at this: "He did? Why would he do that? Is he alright?"

"He is in hospital. His lung collapsed I think, but they said he will be fine. We are not family so they won't tell us much." Dan answered.

"I think he saved my life," Eddy said. "I have to find a way to thank him."

At his words both his parents had gone pale and Nick and Emma had stopped moving on either side of him.

"You didn't know?" he asked Nick.

"No. It was late last night. Mom and dad told me there was a guy driving on the wrong side of the road but I didn't really think this through," Nick replied, his voice a little far away, only now really scared about what could have happened to his kid brother.

Their food arrived and Eddy started absentmindedly chewing on his bacon omelette. Images and sounds from the night before, memories he had tried to keep at bay through the morning, were coming back to him in random order. He frowned and looked at his mother who was looking down and mostly moving food around her plate.

"You were shouting – angry - at someone. Then someone shouted for a doctor and my doctor rushed out of the cubicle. There was a guy on the floor, people around him, that girl from this morning and…his brother."

"Who?" Nick asked a little confused by his brother's vague references.

"I don't remember his name, he was in one of the pictures and at graduation. He sat in the VIP area with an old lady, and a…girl or a young woman."

Nick look questioningly at his parents.

"Elliot Grey," Dan confirmed and gently shook his head to try and communicate to his older son to not expand on the subject.

While he got the message, Nick was not sure this was the right approach. Eddy obviously needed some answers. But he was going to play it by their parents' rules for a little longer. Trying to move away from the subject of Elliot Grey he asked: "There was a woman at the hospital?"

"The one on the street, I went to talk to her just before we left: I'm sure I have seen her around a few times."

Nick frowned: "I thought you knew her. She was at the bar. She was at the hospital too?"

Eddy shook his head: "I don't even know her name."

"She was driving a few cars behind you yesterday," Dan said. "She witnessed the accident and called 911."

"But she was talking to Grey," Eddy insisted.

"Dan," Ana interfered for the first time, stopping him from getting into another not quite lie.

"Yes she did," she said.

"They know each other?"

Ana nodded: "Yes, they do, and all of this is connected but it is a long story and if we start by talking about last night I think it would give you the wrong impression, confuse things even more. I think it would be better if I could start at the beginning. It would make more sense."

"You were married to him."

"To Christian? Yes, I was," Ana replied with a slight tremor in her voice but winning the battle against the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Christian was right: this had to be about Eddy, his questions, his emotions, not hers.

"He is my father?"

"Yes, Eddy."

"Nick said he found us. That he's been around, helped."

"He did. I didn't know until a few weeks ago, but he did."

"So he has been looking for us?"

"Yes."

"How long? How long has he been looking for us?"

This was it, Ana knew, the worst of the questions, the one at the root of all the hurt and confusion in her son's eyes.

"Since the beginning, since I left and took you with me. He never stopped looking." She admitted.

"But you said…you told me he had moved on, didn't want me, us."

The first questions had been a rapid fire exchange, but this time Eddy's voice had been more hesitant.

"It is what I thought at the time, Eddy. I didn't mean to lie to you or to anybody else. But I was wrong. He did want you in his life, they all did."

The food had grown cold in the plates as Dan, Nick and Emma watched the exchange barely daring to draw breath. As much as Ana's face oozed sincerity, Eddy's was growing increasingly closed off and hard.

"They? His brother? The old lady at graduation, she was looking down, was she the one in the picture? His mother?"

"Yes. Elliot and Grace - their mother - were in the VIP area."

"And the girl, the one at the ceremony?"

"I think she is his daughter," Ana said.

Eddy just couldn't bring himself to say it. Emma was his sister. That other girl, she was…just someone else.

"Who else?" he found himself asking without really meaning to.

"He has another sister, Mia, she wasn't there yesterday. She is married; I think she lives in Europe."

Something clicked in Eddy's overfull mind: "Aunt Kate. Her wedding."

This time Ana lost the battle with her tears. "Kate is married to Elliot Grey."

For some reason it seemed that with that statement they had come full circle and both Ana and Eddy remained quiet for a few seconds.

"You are right." Eddy eventually said "It doesn't make much sense."

Dan took his cue from his silent and still family: "We are less than an hour away from home. Let's get there and then we can try and start from the beginning. If you are up to it?" he added, the last part addressed to Eddy.

"Are you?" Eddy asked, anger and resentment in his voice.

"He is your father, Eddy. I think he really cares for you, and I think you need to know that." Dan answered as honestly as he could.

**AN Next chapter: Ana's confession to her family.**


	29. Summer Storm Ch29 Confession

**AN: Anna's confession to her family below but a little bit of a rant before that **

**_rant/_ I write as quickly as I can, but haste makes for bad writing and bad chapters. I do try to have a few chapters written in advance, mostly because life happens and my writing time might be less some weeks than others. When I first posted I had nine chapters all done and now I am down to two! For that reason I would rather stick to regular postings once a week than to post several chapters in quick succession and then have you all waiting several weeks for the next one. I have seen too many stories go that route and while I am still happy when the author posts a chapter, waiting a month or more for the next one does mess with the flow and the enjoyment of the story. _/rant_**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back **

Ch29 Confession

A little over an hour later both Nick's and Dan's cars were parked in front of the house and the family was seated in the small family room, Ana on the couch between Dan and Emma, Nick and Eddy in each of the armchairs at the end of the low table. One look from Eddy had convinced all of them that his belongings could wait.

Not addressing any of them in particular, Ana started the tale that will finally gap the bridge between her old life and her new one: "I was born Anastasia Rose Lambert. My father was in the military and he died in a training accident the day after I was born so I have never known him. Carla met Ray when I was about one and he adopted me when they got married so I became Anastasia Steele."

Without stopping to address the frowns on her children's faces she continued with the very short, edited version of her life, stripped of all the details that were not relevant to understanding how they had come to this point in their lives: "I grew up in Montesano, Washington, and after high school I went to study at WSU Vancouver. Kate was my roommate and the editor of the student newspaper. For the final edition of the newspaper, just before graduation, she wanted to interview a young Seattle entrepreneur who had just became a billionaire, but on the day of the interview she had the flu so she sent me instead. That's how I met Christian. We got married twelve weeks later."

Maybe one day she would get around to sharing the details of that crazy summer - at least the details she could share with her children - but for now she let the words stand for themselves, their only hint about how quickly everything had happened. She had already decided that this was not the time to describe her life, the good, the bad and the challenges of so suddenly becoming Mrs Christian Grey, but there was one aspect of Christian's life they needed to be aware of:

"Before I tell you more, there is something you all need to understand. There are people who would like nothing more than to hurt Christian anyway they can and that includes hurting the people close to him. There are even more people who would do almost anything to get a piece of him: a moment of his attention, a slice of his money, a chance to associate themselves with his name. Christian, his parents and siblings, me while I was in Seattle, you," she said looking at Eddy, "we all had security with us everywhere we went."

Uncertain that she had actually made her point she insisted: "What we are discussing today has to stay between us. The discretion is not to protect him, but to protect you."

She squeezed Emma's hand in reassurance and took a moment to look at each of the other three making sure her words had sunk in.

"There was another reason for the security: the press, the paparazzi." As always frustration grew inside of her to the point of anger when she was reminded of that particular aspect of her past life. She had to warn them about the press and how quickly things could spiral out of control, so she told them about shoe-gate:

"I was choosing an outfit for a charity dinner, but I was pregnant and none of my shoes would fit anymore. I was getting upset so Gail, our house keeper, suggested a pair she had seen in a shop in town. This was an ordinary shoe shop, not one of the designer boutiques that usually delivered my clothes. In the evening, at the gala, one of the fashion reporters recognized the shoes. The next morning, instead of the charity event and the cause it was meant to sponsor, all the social pages had to discuss was my unusual choice of foot wear, complete with pictures of the shoes. That model shoe was sold out in Seattle before lunch and by the end of the day it was sold out in the state of Washington. The police had to be called at several outlets to disperse mobs of disappointed customers; the manufacturer was contacted for the name of the designer who then was interviewed by the newspapers and the radio. He got a job offer from a fashion designer and took it. The news got out that he had left the manufacturer who then saw a dip in their sales. The social pages were debating for days about my wardrobe choice: from how clever it was of me to pair a designer dress with ordinary shoes to how tasteless the same choice was. One article commented that seeing how my husband had all that money to spend I should stick with the expensive stuff and leave the reasonably priced items to people who could not afford something else. It was now my fault that the general female population had had their choice of shoe wear limited since the best designer of such items had left his job. I was also to blame for the job losses that were certain to incur at the manufacturer."

She finally stopped for breath and shook her head: "So many years later it sounds almost funny, but at the time it was anything but that. At least this story had some truth to it, but most of the things they write are just pure fantasy. So if you say anything, to anybody, expect it to come out and to be twisted out of context and out of shape. And if you read anything, know that unless it is a direct quote it is probably not true." This time she let her eyes and her voice plead with them for their understanding and their acceptance.

They all nodded, even Eddy, but the tension was palpable in the room. Eddy's lips were tightly pressed together and his eyes were hard, demanding, impatient, the echo of another harsh stare with which she had been all too familiar. She took a deep breath and slowly released it.

Keeping her eyes on Eddy, Ana started speaking again, gentler this time: "You were a honeymoon baby. Christian and I, and the rest of the family, we were all over the moon when you were born. Christian works a lot. It was not unusual for him to have a 50-60 hours working week. But when you came into our lives he couldn't get out of the office fast enough to get home to us. He could never get enough of holding you, talking to you, playing with you."

She didn't want to overwhelm Eddy with tales of an early childhood he did not remember, so, unless he asked for more, she had chosen to share just one memory: "The day you took your first step he had a delegation coming from Europe, a deal they had been working on for almost a year and worth several hundreds of millions. I knew he would be in meetings all day, so instead of calling him to let him know, I filmed you with my phone - just a five seconds movie of you taking two steps - and sent it to him. He stormed into the house less than half an hour later."

Ignoring the tears welling in her eyes at the memory, she forced her voice to remain steady: "Ros, his second in command at GEH, told me later that evening that he had just suddenly stood up in the middle of the meeting and excused himself leaving her in charge. In two sentences he was out the door and had left GEH for the day and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to make you take a few more steps."

Eddy's face didn't give much away, his jaws were still tightly clenched, the hand of his uninjured arm gripping the end of the armrest.

"We had been married for three years when I happened to see security footage of Christian with another woman. He was supposed to go away on business that week and I had taken the week off to spend some time in Montesano with you and my father. I called Christian and send him text messages and an email and I now know that he wrote to me and his parents tried to come and talk to me in Montesano, but Christian never got any of my calls or messages and I didn't get his letters. I didn't know Grace and Carrick had come to see us."

She had hoped to keep Ray's involvement out of her tale, but three pairs of eyes were watching her with the same disbelieving look. Dan took her hand in his and gently nodded prompting her to continue: "Ray had used his connections in the police to block my calls and email and he never told me about the family trying to visit. There is probably more behind this than I know even now, but as the situation was then, after about a month of being in Montesano I filed for divorce."

She closed her eyes briefly, gathering her strength for the final part. She kept her eyes on the polished wood of the table: "I asked for you to stay with me but offered Christian unlimited visitation rights and shared custody."

Ana lifted her gaze to meet Eddy's eyes. She needed to be sure he heard this: "This was what Christian agreed to when he signed the divorce. He thought he would still be a part of your life. It was me and dad who took you away from him. Dad thought Christian would try and use his power and influence to take you away from me, so he convinced me to move away."

Acknowledging Nick and Emma with her eyes she included all of them for the last part of her confession: "He, dad, arranged for new names, new identities, for us. We became Anabelle and Edward Teal. I don't know why he chose Rock Hill, other than that it was far away from Seattle."

She wanted to tell Eddy about what Christian had done for them over the years, but Christian had warned her to not make her tale about him and Eddy's closed off expression did not give her any clues about how much he wanted to know, so she started with something he already knew: "Nick already told you this morning that Christian found us several years ago. I didn't know until this past month, but he has never stopped looking for you and once he found you, although he has not revealed himself to you, he has been watching you, keeping an eye on you, helping when he could."

"Paid for stuff."

Eddy's voice was harsh, resentful, but the look in his blue eyes, so much like hers with just a hint of Christian, was of pain and she could not let him live with that hurt any longer.

"It's not about the money, it's what he did with them. He didn't just sign a cheque. He put thought and effort into making things happen," she tried to explain.

Eddy just stared back at her, his chin down towards his chest and his shoulders squared and stiff, the picture of a defiant teenager.

'Eddy,' she hesitated remembering how she had reacted to some of Christian's over the top largesse towards her. She sighed and resigned herself to asking him: 'Do you want to know?' she asked, as gently as she could.

Eddy stared for a moment but then gave her a curt nod.

"The music school: I can't prove it and I doubt Mr and Mrs Dawson know just who is behind their move to Rock Hill, but I am certain that Christian found them and arranged for them to move here, across the street from the library, where I could to notice them."

That was something Nick, Emma and Eddy had in common and the siblings shared a look between them, but then Eddy's eyes turned back to her, waiting for more.

"The language club at school. Again I don't think they know who is behind it, but the school had received a large donation, an annual grant, with the only condition that they use some of it to offer a language club including French. After the storm," she continued," the martial arts centre was built with help from an anonymous charity but the business deal, the way it was put together so that everybody got something out of it, is just typical for Christian. And the organization, Posterus, didn't just help with that, they also helped restore the library and Cherry Park."

"And the house." Dan admitted in a quiet voice.

At Ana's questioning look he sighed: "When you told me about them, I looked into it a bit more, into what they did. They guaranteed the payments for the construction company so they could start repairing the houses without waiting for the insurers to make up their minds and release the funds. There was only one condition: that they start with this side of town, with our street."

Nick already knew most of this and his eyes were on Eddy. His brother did not look particularly impressed, not as if he was past the 'paid for stuff' comment. In all honesty he could sympathise. Money was something Grey had in abundance and Eddy was after all his son. There was one thing though that had touched him, and their mother seemed to have chosen not to share that part. Could she not see that it was what really made the point that Grey cared about them? That he had a heart not just a big wallet and an agenda? And that Eddy needed to know that more than anything else? With his mind made up he spoke, steeling himself for any disapproval from his parents, and addressing his brother directly: "He fixed Emma's leg."

"Nick" Ana started but was interrupted by Eddy: "What do you mean 'he fixed Emma's leg'?"

"Mom said the insurance wouldn't pay because it was an experimental treatment, so he paid for it and he got the surgeon to move down here from Boston. He pays for the whole research program just so Emma can have her doctor close by."

"But that's…" Eddy frowned and changed tracks from whatever he was going to say: "She's not his daughter."

"No, she isn't," Ana said in a gentle voice, but her eyes were on Emma this time as this was also concerning her. Something about Christian the previous evening was nagging at her but she couldn't put her finger on it until Emma wondered: "Why would he care about me?"

It was when Christian had corrected Dan, when he had been so angry about the lie she had told Eddy and Dan had called him 'Mr Grey': 'Christian' he had said, rejecting the formality and the distance the title put between them. They were family. Christian saw them all as family.

The tears in her eyes were mirroring the ones in Emma's.

"I think he sees you as family," she voiced her thought.

Dan leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, his fingers interlaced: "Eddy, because you only found out all of this now and it's so different from everything you had been told, this is quite a change in your life. But the truth is that we are not the only family with a child from a previous marriage. It was, in a way, easier when we didn't know about all of this. But now that you know, that we all know, that Christian Grey is your father… what happens next is up to you. Neither of us will force a relationship on you."

"But you are my dad."

A smile pulled Dan's lips and crinkled his eyes: "Yes, Eddy, I am. That will never change. But you have been wondering about your past, about your biological father. Maybe I should have talked to you about it before today although I don't know if it would have made much difference, not with what I knew up to this past month. But I now know that the thought that he abandoned you has been weighing on you and I think it is important for you to know that it wasn't true and that he cares about you."

"And you are OK with that?" Eddy asked.

"That you have somebody else who loves you and cares about you and that you won't have to carry that hurt around? Yes, I am." Dan gave his son the reassurance he obviously needed.

"And all this stuff, all mom said he did?"

Dan sighed: "I won't pretend some of it has not been a little overwhelming, made me start looking over my shoulder a few times, but he did help us out of a few difficulties and I can't not feel some gratitude for what he did."

Dan was frowning by the end of his sentence. If his thoughts about Eddy's biological father were so mixed he could barely express them, he could only wonder how confused Eddy must be about all this information.

"He doesn't expect that," Ana said in a small voice, her throat tight with the emotions evoked by Dan's words to Eddy.

Her words had drawn everybody's attention back to her, but she spoke mostly for Eddy's benefit: "He asked that this should be about you, on your terms, not about any of us."

It was now early afternoon and they moved on to the kitchen for a late lunch consisting of sandwiches and tea or coffee. The few minutes it took were mostly silent with everyone's minds busy processing all the new information and they soon dispersed around the house to take care of more mundane tasks as getting Eddy's belongings to his room, unpacking and catching up with the accumulated post.

Peace was however not to be found in the Parson household for many days yet and that afternoon and the rest of the weekend were liberally sprinkled with awkward moments and unexpected revelations. Some were a bit naïve, like Emma's realization that Aunt Kate was actually Eddy's aunt 'for real'. Some were more unsettling, like Eddy and Nick figuring out Ana was now residing in the guest room and no longer sharing the downstairs bedroom with Dan. By unspoken agreement some were still kept from Eddy, like Dan's quick check of the other cars revealing that while Ana's had always had a side airbag, his and Nick's had also been modified. '_I can't be sure without scratching the paint but the driver side doors feel heavier too_' Dan had told Ana. Eddy had not said much beyond thanking Dan and Nick for helping with his belongings and then declining help with unpacking. He had only frowned at noticing his mother enter the guest room and then remained in his own room for the rest of the afternoon.

Over dinner he kept his head down and his eyes on his food while the others were making an effort to maintain at least the appearance of some conversation. If more proof was needed that his mind was really not in the kitchen with the rest of them his question interrupting Ana and Emma's discussion about Emma's birthday plans provided that:

"And if I want to meet him?"

He remained seated looking down during the few seconds of silence that followed.

"Oh, Eddy, he would like nothing more than to meet you," Ana managed.

He finally raised his head, his face still blank and his gaze far away, not really settling on his surroundings.

"Do you want to meet him?" Ana asked.

"I don't know."

Eddy lowered his eyes again then stood and took his plate to the dishwasher.

"I think I'm going to go to bed. Thanks for dinner."

Both Nick and Dan stopped Ana from going after her son.

"I'll go upstairs, keep him company," Nick said, then shaking his head: "If he'll let me. I think he needs a break, maybe watch some sports or play some computer game or something. We'll see you guys in the morning."

Emma left with Nick and Dan and Ana were left behind on tidy up duties, but when Ana opened and then closed the same drawer for a second time for no apparent reason, Dan covered her hand with his and stopped her from moving away: "Let's sit down, the rest can wait."

"Thank you, for what you said to Eddy, about being OK with him having someone else to love him in his life."

"I meant that," Dan said, with sincerity and warmth in his voice, "but now we have to give him some time. We have had a month and I am still not sure what to make about a lot of this."

Ana didn't respond to his veiled request for more details, more information, and she had the same far away and haunted look on her face as their son had had through dinner.

"I also meant the other thing I said. We are not the only couple with an ex-spouse or a biological parent still in the picture," Dan hesitated wondering if he should tempt fate or let sleeping dogs lie, but the uncertainty was getting to him and he already had enough on his plate so he chose to voice his suspicions: "This is not just about Eddy, is it?"

Once again Ana remained quiet but she was now watching him instead of looking into space, so he explained a little: "You seemed to fit well into that world: the security, the people driving you around, the special attention. You didn't seem surprised about any of it."

"Habit, maybe, but I don't know that I ever quite fit into that world."

"Do you fit into this one?"

There, he had said it, the question that had been nagging at him since graduation.

"I don't know," she answered looking as frightened as he felt.

"I said I can give you time to think things over, and I am not going back on that, but something tells me there isn't much to think over, is it? If it were just you, if you didn't have anybody else to think of…He is single."

She shook her head: "Christian is very private. He can be very…discreet about his relationships." Then Ana's voice lost some of the dream-like quality it had held and became more assured, her gaze also became more direct: "When you and I met, I was trying to get away, move on, build a new life. I didn't just run away from Christian, I ran away from me in a way. I became this new person. But now, with all the past suddenly so real and… immediate, it feels like I have to make that choice all over again."

They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds and then Dan acknowledged: "Somehow I had already figured that out."

AN Next chapter: What Teddy makes of all of this.


	30. Summer Storm Ch30 The morning after

**AN: L****ast week there seemed to be a problem with Fanfic not sending email notifications which means that I have deleted ****the chapter and reposted it. Unfortunately that also deletes all the reviews posted up until the time I deleted the chapter, so if I have not responded to some of you that's the reason.**

**Ready to hear what Teddy makes of his mother's confession? Pre-emptive comment for those who expect Teddy to be angry: give him some time to sort through his feeling and process the info...**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back **

Ch 30 The morning after

At breakfast next morning , Emma was the only one in the family who looked well rested. She had been looking forward to spending the day with her two best friends until Ana had to remind her that the previous day's revelations had to remain a family matter.

Before graduation and the abrupt end of the celebratory mood, Dan and Nick had planned to spend the morning at the gym and maybe convince Eddy to join them. But due to Eddy's injured arm they had to come up with something else to occupy their day. In the end Dan went to the gym alone, while Nick and Eddy decided they could go shopping for a present for Emma's upcoming birthday.

"Galleria?" Nick asked once they were seated in the car.

"Yeah. Do you have any ideas?" Eddy asked.

"Nope, hoping inspiration will hit when we're there. You?"

"Maybe, but let's see what's out there."

One advantage of a small town is that everything is relatively close by: ten minutes or so later the two young men had parked the car behind the main shopping mall in the town centre and had started dipping in and out of shops. In typical male fashion a cursory look around a shop took under five minutes and their mind was made up: nothing here. Four shops later they found themselves standing in front of the Kay Jeweller's Outlet window and they knew their shopping adventure was about to come to an end.

"Pricey," Nick commented.

"I've saved some money, about 50 bucks."

Nick nodded his agreement and the young men entered the shop.

Eddy's tall slim figure, chiselled jaw line, full lips and blue eyes under a mass of dark brown curls was guaranteed to attract the attention of any female shop attendant anyway, but his obviously injured arm had propelled the usual flirtatious attention into dotting territory. His role however was limited to drawing attention to them and then standing quiet and mysterious while Nick deployed his Cheshire cat smile and natural charm. The brothers had used this two pronged approach to their advantage before and this time was no exception.

They quickly explained that they were looking for a present for their sister and it didn't take long until they settled for a silver bracelet with three charms. When they asked that one of the charms was to be engraved with 'best sis', the poor woman was reduced to a whimpering mess and promptly offered them a 15% discount.

With their one chore done, their next stop was the nearby Starbucks. Holding steaming mugs of coffee in their hands they made their way towards one of the window tables. Then Eddy suddenly stopped and the cup with the steaming liquid tilted in his suddenly weak hand until some of the contents spilled on his fingers.

"Fuck!" he yelped and jumped backwards spilling even more of his coffee, this time on the floor of the venue.

"What the…Are you alright?" Nick came back around the table to stand by his brother.

The small incident and the spillage were quickly dealt with by the staff who directed them to a different table. Nick just had to roll his eyes when a blushing young female barista brought Eddy a fresh cup of coffee and softly enquired whether his brother's hand was OK.

"Yes, thank you. And thank you for the coffee. Let me get some change," Eddy told her.

"Oh, no. Refills are free." She winked and smiled at him then quickly turned around and walked back to the bar.

Nick shook his head in mock dismay: "I have to at least make an effort. You know: talk to them, smile a little…"

The crease between his brother's eyebrows did however not lessen at his attempt to make light of the situation.

"Hey, you OK? What happened?"

"Guy started his engine I guess."

Out of reflex Nick looked towards the first table they had chosen, with the parking lot in full view just outside the window: Eddy must have seen the headlights coming on. All humour left him as he returned his attention to his brother.

"Was it the accident?" he asked

"I keep seeing those headlights in front of me." Eddy confessed. "I just froze. Had it not been for that guy…I don't understand why he did what he did." His frown deepened: "Got to check if he's alright. Do we know his name?"

"I'm not sure. Mom and dad might know, or the police," Nick said and then fell silent unsure what else to say.

"Maybe," Eddy conceded. Then clearly remembering: "Mom was shouting at somebody and then some other patient collapsed and they had to take him away. That's when I saw…" Eddy rubbed his forehead then lifted his eyes to look at Nick: "I don't remember much after they took me upstairs but while I was still in the ER…It doesn't make sense. Why would his brother be there and who was that woman talking to him at the hospital?"

"Eddy, there's obviously much more to what mom told us yesterday. I think you should talk to dad about the accident. Even if he's not been in the police for many years now, he has some experience with this kind of thing. But for the rest… Do you want to know more?"

"I don't know. All my life I have had this image in my head of a guy who is my father and has abandoned me and mom. I told you I wanted to find him, look him in the eye and let him have it. Tell him mom and I made it just fine and wish him a nice life. Maybe it was childish, but it was going to be my closure, a way to put it all behind me and move on. But now everything is different."

Eddy stopped for a moment. Talking to his brother forced him to sort through his mixed feelings and bring some order to the chaos left in his mind by the past two days, so he took a deep breath and continued: "To find out he did not actually abandon me, feels nice. Like something has been put to rest. Maybe mom owes him and apology or something, but for my part I don't know what I would have to say to him. Maybe see what he looks like, perhaps thank him for the help, but I don't know him and he doesn't know me. I realize this is a little selfish, but I already have a dad and that's enough. But then Thursday I heard Grey…You heard me going on and on about him: I liked him, admired him, I was scheming to find a way to get close to him."

He hesitated, but this felt like a moment for truth so he went for broke: "I wanted to get his attention."

Eddy's eyes acquired that lost look he had had the previous evening: "It might sound crazy but at graduation he looked at me a couple of times and we shook hands and I…I thought I felt this thing, this connection, when I didn't know who he was. And then I find out he actually is my father and I don't know what to do about that. It's only been a couple of days and I'm already wondering if that feeling was real or just my imagination."

Their coffees forgotten on the table, Nick had listened in silence to his brother pouring his soul to him. Some of what Eddy said resonated in him, but the rest of it…

"This is pretty heavy, Eddy. I don't know if I have anything useful to say, other than I'm here for you, if you want to talk or maybe go out and forget about all of this for a while. Maybe you should give it some time, try and connect the dots if you feel up to it. It's not like you have a dead line and have to make a decision right now."

Eddy sighed and nodded. "Can I ask you something?"

At Nick's nod he plunged into yet another unexplored area of their lives: "If you had a chance…Would you want to meet Jane?"

It was Nick's turn to frown: "I don't know. I mean it's not like I've been wondering where she was and what she's been up to all this time. But if I could…I think I would, yeah. I think I'd like to know her. I don't think she'd replace mom, not after all this time, but maybe she wouldn't have to, maybe we could have a different kind of relationship."

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to upset you."

"It's alright, you didn't, not really. I have actually been thinking about this for the past few days."

Eddy didn't look convinced.

"Did you figure out how come I had those pictures on my phone?" Nick asked.

This was not something Eddy had had any time to ponder over but now that the question was lying in front of him…he leaned his head to one side and speculatively eyed Nick: "Carol-Ann?"

"Yeah, she was at the house last Saturday and put two and two together. You know, with her research. Anyway when she told me, I asked mom and dad and dad asked me if I'd like to know more about my mom, my birth mom," he clarified. "It was surprisingly easy to say yes."

"Speaking of which," Nick continued. "I am meant to meet with Carol-Ann later today."

"So you guys are OK?" Eddy asked but then realized: "Is this why she has been avoiding me?"

Nick nodded. "She's not sure if you are, you know, upset about her finding out and then telling me."

"Nick, I'm not upset with Carol-Ann. It's fine. I was going to ask mom anyway."

From Nick and Carol-Ann they moved onto girls more generally speaking and sports and Boston and Nick's work and eventually, after refilling their cups with freshly brewed coffee and finally getting to enjoy their drinks, the brothers were ready to head back home.

Lunch was for a change a light affair. When Emma casually asked what the guys had been up to, Nick told her that they had been out looking for a present for her. His attempt to rattle her was successful and they spent the better part of fifteen minutes with Emma trying to guess what they got her and the boys feigning dismay that they had not thought of any of that before they spent their money on a completely different and very secret present.

Of course Emma knew Nick had baited her and her moment of revenge came as soon as they all stood up from the kitchen table, when Eddy winced while stretching his back.

"It's OK, just my back is stiff." He commented in response to the worried glances of his family.

"The doctor said it might be," Dan said. "He recommended stretching and massage unless it's bad enough that you want some pain killers."

"I can help," Emma jumped in. "We get cramps all the time at dance. I'm pretty good with massaging them."

Moments later lying on his belly on the sofa, his injured arm hanging off the side, Eddy looked thoroughly relaxed under his sister's surprisingly able hands and Nick tried his luck: "Can I get one of these?"

"Nope," Emma said. "It'll teach you to wind me up."

"OK squirt, but someone still has to go pick up your present next week." Nick chimed.

"Don't call me squirt," Emma threw him a mock death glare.

But she stood firm and Nick had to do without a massage.

After the massage Emma disappeared into her room and Nick went out to meet with his girlfriend. As Ana was busying herself around the house and he was finally alone with his dad, Eddy jumped on the occasion to talk a little about the accident.

Stifling his own emotions at the thought of what might have been, Dan used the experience from his previous career to offer advice and reassurance that the flashbacks were normal and will fade in time.

"That reminds me, the man who saved me, do you know who he is? Is he alright?"

"I have his name and I called the hospital this morning," Dan was saying.

That caught Ana's attention and she paused just outside the family room door.

"I am not a relative so they won't tell me much but I explained why I wanted to know and they did tell me that he was out of surgery and recuperating."

"He was in surgery? You said something about his lungs…"

Dan was not sure how to answer and Eddy took his hesitation for reluctance.

"I'm not a child. The man saved my life. The least I can do is ask about him," Eddy insisted.

Releasing a slow breath Dan admitted: "He had a punctured lung, probably from broken ribs, he was holding his side."

Eddy frowned, those first few minutes in the ER once again playing in his mind.

"Was he…That guy, the man who collapsed, was that him?"

"Yes, that was him, but they said he'll be fine."

"I still don't understand why he did that. Why would he put himself in that kind of danger to save me?"

Now that was something Dan had not got around to figuring out either. Eddy caught his involuntary glance in Ana's direction and half turned to look at the distressed face of his mother.

She gently shook her head.

"Mom, this is hard enough without any more secrets. I'd like to understand at least this part of it."

"I wish it were that simple, Eddy," Ana answered with a sad look in her eyes while making her way towards the two men sitting on the couch.

"What do you mean?"

"All of this it's just one long string of unlikely events but they are all connected."

"You know why he did that?"

"I think so, yes."

"You know him?"

"I used to."

"Who is he?"

"His name is Jason Taylor, he used to work for Christian."

"Used to? A former employee? Why would he get involved?"

It was obvious Eddy was not going to give up so Ana relented: "Jason was Christian's head of security when we were in Seattle. He was in charge of protecting him and…us. I think he is still protecting you."

That was news for Dan and as much as it explained some things it also opened a whole new line of questions in his mind. For Eddy however this was just another piece of a puzzle that still didn't make sense. The realization that at least it was the same puzzle was immediately drowned by the growing suspicion that he might not have a choice in whether he wanted to fill in the blanks and solve the riddle. Everywhere he turned, the smallest and most innocent of questions seemed to consistently point at, or be a reminder of, his absent biological parent.

"Eddy," Dan's voice brought him back from his thoughts, "let's take this one step at a time. We'll talk to the police on Monday and take it from there, OK?"

Dan's voice had been firm and he followed his suggestion by reaching out to the remote and switching on the TV.

"How about we check how the Swamp Foxes are doing, maybe give Nick some grief about them?" he said with a slightly apologetic look towards his wife.

'_Give Eddy some space'_, Ana translated the look, and turned to walk away from the football talk that was sure to follow.

"Mom," Eddy's voice called after her.

She turned around and plastered a small smile on her face.

"You don't have to go."

Her smile grew and reached her eyes: "I can stay but you know I'll annoy both of you with my questions."

Contrary to her warning, she didn't interrupt them even once. Instead she just sat next to Eddy watching him interact with Dan, noticing the easy familiarity and the sentences that didn't need to be finished. Dan's questions to her from the previous evening were still ringing in her ears. They had been brutally honest and to the point. Did she fit in here? Would she go to Christian? But this was not about her. She had spent the night carefully searching her mind and her soul, making sure she was not doing it again, that she wasn't running from feelings too strong to control and from her own desires. The muted voices on the TV in Eddy's room last night meant that he either was not sleeping or not sleeping well, and it was her fault her son's feelings were this raw. Whatever happened next her role had to be to help him through this, be what he needed, be where he needed her. And this was what Christian needed from her as well. Their short meeting in that personnel room had left her with a lot of questions but also with one certainty: for whatever reason Christian had chosen to stay away from them, it was not because he didn't want Eddy in his life. The past could not be undone - that guilt was hers to carry - but if there was a chance at a future between Christian and his son, she couldn't let her desires make it more difficult. Eddy calling after her just now: he might be upset with her but he still needed her to be here.

When Eddy and Dan seemed sufficiently engrossed in the ball game and oblivious to her presence, she stood up and quietly went into the corridor to finish mopping the floor then slipped into the garage. She retrieved the papers for the speech she needed to deliver in just a few days at the Town Hall and decided that rather than the kitchen table she could sit outside and enjoy some of the afternoon sun.

As it turns out her speech was going to have to wait. In front of the house Linda was sitting on the stairs of the porch.

"Linda?"

Her friend lifted her head but didn't move from her spot, so Ana joined her on the steps.

"What's wrong? Why didn't you come inside?"

"I was going to but I sort of lost my nerve," Linda admitted.

In all the five years or so that they had known each other, Ana had never known Linda to be hesitant. Linda had moved to Rock Hill shortly after her divorce when her ex-husband married his mistress and Ana had seen her building a career and a social life and going through both the excitement of new relationships and the disappointment of the breakups, but never had she seen her friend uncertain and hesitant. Linda was self-assured and forward, brutally honest and open with her thoughts and her feelings…

"Want to talk about it?" Ana asked.

"Question is whether you want to talk about it?"

Ana just frowned, so Linda released her breath forcefully enough to blow her mahogany bangs off her forehead: "Since Harry and the bitch, I am a little over sensitive about people keeping secrets, I know that. But I thought we were friends. At least I think of you as my friend. "

Adrenaline starting to course through her and making her heart pump faster, Ana tried to reassure her friend: "We are friends, Linda."

"Well, I hope we are because with what I'm going to tell you, if you want to, you could get me fired."

"I'm not going to get you fired."

"OK," Linda slowly nodded. "Your cheque has cleared," she dropped her bomb.

"What?"

"You know where I work, right? All the transactions above 100,000 have to go through the manager's office. So when somebody left a cheque for 22 million and change…Dorothy almost had a heart attack. And then I almost had one myself when I figured out about you and Christian Grey. I knew there had to be a reason why you never talked about Eddy's father, but, holy crap Belle, Christian Grey?"

**AN: Next chapter will go into some dark territory, there'll be a warning at the beginning and around the relevant part of the chapter. **


	31. Summer Storm Ch31 Not another one

**AN Good morning! First of all I would like to apologize for the lapse in judgement a few days ago. The rant was quite unnecessary and has been removed. And then about this chapter: we are leaving everybody but Ana for a moment to dive into a subject which is part of the big controversy surrounding FSOG - domestic abuse. There are several reasons for which I have included this chapter but two of them belong to the logic, the dynamic, of the story: Ray never asked Ana if she was afraid in her marriage and Ana needs to clear her own thoughts and feelings around some of the less mainstream aspects of her and Christian's relationship. But in the process there is a passage that describes an abusive relationship and in case this might be a trigger for some of you, the relevant passage is surrounded by a warning at the beginning and end.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back **

Ch 31 Not another one

A few minutes later they were seated in Linda's tastefully decorated living room, steam gently rising from Ana's tea and Linda's coffee.

"Can I ask you how you figured it out?" Ana asked.

"Since I saw that cheque Wednesday, I've been wondering about it. You are the most well-read person I know and you work in a library and with a cheque from a publishing company I was thinking maybe you wrote a book or something like that. I did a little research on the company, checked what they have published lately, that kind of thing," Linda waved her well-manicured hand. "Then Friday morning when I picked up the newspaper… for some reason I still read the stupid Columbia Star. There was this article on the front page."

Linda reached over and dropped a folded newspaper face down on the table and Ana knew exactly what her friend had been talking about: the full lips and chiselled jaw line of the lower half of a man's face visible just under the fold were instantly familiar. Tentatively she reached out and unfolded the newspaper to find herself starring at a black and white picture of a very young Christian Grey. The headline in the middle of the page read '_Billionaire and Harvard drop out Christian Grey encourages the young generation to rebel_'. To the right of the article was another picture of Christian, this one obviously taken at the graduation ceremony in Columbia. Her eyes darting from one picture to the other she could see the changes age had wrought on Christian's face, but also the unmistakable resemblance between the young Christian and Eddy.

"The article says that picture is from when Christian Grey was twenty-six and had just rebranded his company as GEH, so they are about the same age," Linda pointed out.

Using the time as an excuse to gather her thoughts, Ana quickly scanned the article. It wasn't too bad: after describing how Christian had challenged the graduates to make their own rules and rewarded one of them for convincing him to change the rules of the Rose Award, it mostly went on to discuss the failure of the education system to prepare highs school leavers and undergraduates for the realities of working life.

Linda remained silent until Ana slowly put the newspaper down, then told her:

"I had already looked into the publishing company, apparently owned by an Anastasia Steele. When I saw the newspaper I looked into Grey. Not much to be found about his private life but he has been married twice. Has a child from each marriage, a son and a daughter. There are a few pictures of his second wife but I couldn't find any of Anastasia, his first wife. What I did find were a few with his brother and sister in law…" Linda let her voice trail.

Linda had already figured out the most important part and Ana knew that what people imagined was often much worse than the truth, so for the second time in less than two days she launched into the edited version of her life story, skipping over the more personal memories this time.

"I was not aware he has found us until about a month ago," she finished, without getting into the details of how Christian had been involved in their lives through the years.

"OK, forget tea, we need something stronger," Linda said and stood up to bring back a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Linda, this - who I am or who I was, Christian, this whole story - it has to remain quiet," Ana pleaded.

"Does Dan know?" Linda asked.

"Yes, he does. At least he does now. He only found out a few weeks ago."

"And Eddy?"

"He found out Thursday. They all know now."

"OK, OK, I won't tell anyone. Not that anyone would believe me anyway. I don't think I quite believe it myself to be honest." Linda shook her head. "You… you never say anything when we talk, you know about men and all. I would have never imagined…So when I was telling you about Harry and the bitch…Did he…," Linda let her voice trail.

"Yes," Ana confirmed and she couldn't keep the sadness off her face or her voice. "He married that woman and had a child with her. In fact she was pregnant when he married her. I heard the marriage only lasted a few months but his daughter was there at graduation. At least I think that's who she was."

Linda leaned her head to one side, her mind wondering over the mixed signals her friend was sending.

"Belle, I don't mean to pry, but there's something …off somehow. You have for all intents and purposes been on the run for years and now that he has found you…You don't sound afraid. You sound…sad, wistful."

Ana closed her eyes to ward off the sadness. "I told you that I divorced him because I thought he didn't want us in his life anymore, didn't want anything to do with us, but it wasn't true. I have known he has found us for a few weeks and since then I found out a bit more about what really happened back then and I think I made a mistake. A really bad mistake," she admitted.

Linda's eyes grew wider: "You're not over him, are you? Christian Grey I mean. Not that I blame you." She changed track before she said something really inappropriate: "When I met you and Dan, you had already been married for ten years or so. What I mean is…I've never seen you so upset over Dan as you are over this. What with going to his first wife's grave and all."

"I've only been with two men in my life, Linda. Dan and I…we are there for each other, raised our children together, built a life. But I am not in love with him and he is not in love with me."

Linda's head started bobbing up and down while she talked: "Yeah, that would explain it, that thing that seemed missing between you and Dan. Still, does he know how you feel about Grey?"

"Yes, he does."

"Shit. Dan is good people, Belle. Forgive me if I overstep here but knowing that you are not in love with him must be quite different from knowing you are in love with somebody else. A living, breathing, somebody else," Linda frowned at how confusing everything was.

"I know." Ana said and let the torment show in her voice.

"So what's going to happen now?"

"I don't know. Eddy has just found out Christian is his father and he needs us to be there for him while he comes to terms with it. Beyond that I…I can't be with Dan anymore. You know, be his wife. It just doesn't feel right," Ana said with a blush warming her cheeks.

"Hold on," Linda said with a growing feeling of concern. "Just give me a minute here, there's something in this that…" She frowned and put her wine glass down. "You have been on the run," she voiced her realization. "People don't just go on the run like that. You just told me about the affair and the silence, but he was not the first man to cheat and then behave like an ass. Running away and changing your names was quite extreme..." She took a deep breath and slowly released it collecting her thoughts.

"Belle, time makes people forget things and you said that you are still in love with him so that probably makes it worse. But back then, when you took your child and ran away, were you afraid of him?"

Ana closed her eyes. First Kate, then Ray and now Linda. How could she ever explain that it was not Christian she had been afraid of, but the combination of the two of them together? Among the hurt and the anger and his silent treatment after he had gone back to being a Dominant, she had kept wondering if he had simply cut her out or if he was giving her a chance to make up her own mind about what she wanted to do. He wouldn't directly ask her to be his sub, she knew that much. There was a chance he hoped she would offer so she had sent him divorce papers instead. But then the dreams had started. In those she was his sub and they didn't always feel like nightmares. The divorce was almost clear and Ray had started talking to her about Christian seeing Teddy, visiting, realizing what he had lost. She knew she was not going to be able to hide in Montesano for much longer. The thought of seeing him again…Dom Christian had always appealed to a part of her. That's what the fear was about: that she would give in this time - give him more of her submission - and that he would take it. So she ran. Not because she was scared of Christian, but because she was scared of herself.

Mistaking Ana's hesitation for a possible yes, Linda started speaking in a soft voice:

"I had a friend, back in Columbia. She needed her husband's permission to do things, he'd tell her what to do and how to do it, what to wear, stopped her from meeting with some of her friends…We went out one night and got wasted, fell asleep and didn't get home until morning. After that I didn't see her for almost a month and when I did see her again she was different somehow, like a light had gone out. By the time she eventually left him about a year later, she was a shadow of her former self: insecure and beyond shy, she barely dared to speak to anybody or make any decisions. I helped her with her bills when they cut out her electricity. She was so afraid she was going to make a mistake she had just not paid them. She couldn't look a man in the eye if her life depended on it, she was terrified of being late anywhere and if that did happen she'd be remorseful to the point of tears."

"Poor woman! What happened to her?" Ana exclaimed putting down her barely touched wine.

**POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING**

"It took her a long time to come back from that place," Linda continued. " She did, eventually, and when she got better we talked a little about how come she had ended up with that asshole to begin with, why she put up with his demands at all."

Linda shook her head: "She told me that in the beginning she liked the attention. It made her feel good that he was taking care of her, paying attention to her and to what she did. After they married he got her to leave her job at the bank, told her he could take care of them, made it about his pride as a man that he had to take care of his wife. Then he became a little more demanding and started punishing her if she didn't do what he wanted. Made her pay the price for upsetting him, as he put it. The first time he punished her it was because she had not folded the laundry. He asked her to do it before she could sit down for dinner. It didn't take her long, of course, but by then the food was cold and he didn't allow her to warm it up. She needed to remember this, he explained, so it won't happen again. She wanted to get back that feeling of being liked and cared for, and gave in more and more to his demands to please him, to keep him happy, keep the harmony in their household. It went downhill from there. Unless everything was just perfect and the way he liked it, he would tell her how she couldn't take care of the house, but that he'll 'help her', 'teach her'. He started making lists for her with things to do and also started to spank her when they were not done or not done right. Told her that it was her fault, as he only asked such simple things of her. He told her it was quicker, easier, if she just took her punishment rather than have a prolonged fight and bad atmosphere in the house. She went along with it as he seemed happier, was again praising her for the things she was doing well, rewarded her for them, and the spankings were not that bad."

Linda stopped for a deep breath.

"One day she took longer than she should have in the bath and was late doing the shopping, so she went to a different store and spent more money than she was supposed to. He didn't find out until the end of the month when he got the credit card statement, but then he beat her with a wooden spoon.

After the night we got drunk he beat her with his belt.

Soon after that he told her how their sex life had gotten stale, that she was not very good in bed and once again promised he will teach her. From there on he basically regularly raped her in every possible way. By now he was only praising her for the sexual acts, and only when she put up with pain and discomfort. At this point in her life she had no money - the house and all the accounts were in his name - she had not seen any of us in months, did not have any contact with her family anymore. He had convinced her that she was not desirable in anyway but that he put up with her because he loved her although she was incapable of taking care of the house, her food was bland and she was an indifferent sexual partner. Her breasts were too small, her ass was too big, her belly was hanging…you get the picture. He started bringing other friends around, other men, and make her have sex with them, so she would learn. "

In a voice barely above a whisper Linda added: "I already knew about that last part. When she got out it was after a call to another one of our friends. 'Please come and get me, please.' is all she had said and then hung up. Lorna, our common friend, got to the house and the asshole husband wouldn't let her in so she called the police. There were four of them there, plus the husband, all naked."

**END TRIGGER**

Ana had been sitting frozen in horror through Linda's tale and was still starring at her when it hit her just why Linda would share this with her.

"God, Linda, no! It was never, ever, even remotely like that."

"I felt guilty as hell that I didn't get her out of there sooner, we all did." Linda continued unfazed by the interruption. " So I started looking into domestic abuse, tried to figure out if I should have recognized the signs. I soon discovered that in a way she was lucky that he had pushed things so far, made her desperate enough to seek help despite the shame and the fear. From what I learned most cases are not that bad but it also means that the abuse often goes on for longer. So forgive me for asking but are you sure you don't recognize any of this? You never answered my question."

"Linda," Ana started, "some of it maybe, but it wasn't like that. That man, the way you described it he put her down, diminished her, made her feel useless, helpless, made it all about him. Christian, all he ever wanted was to make me happy. He never tried to diminish me or undermine my self-confidence. He gave in to my demands against his better judgement. And he never, ever, made me feel stupid or unworthy. On the contrary, he often told me how smart I was, always told me how beautiful I was, how he wouldn't change a thing about me. He would push me to do things I didn't particularly want to but only because he believed I was capable of more. It was stuff like running a company, giving a speech, being confident in public, in large gatherings. "

"That sounds…almost too good to be true," Linda commented, then frowned. "But you said you recognized some of it?"

Almost regretting that initial moment of utter sincerity Ana bit her lip. It had however been a sincere statement; she did recognize some of it: Christian had not been threatening but there was no denying his tendency to at least want to dominate their relationship and control most of the aspects of her life. Kate was always pointing out that aspect to her but Kate had never liked Christian. Maybe this was a chance to get an outsider's view on some of the dynamic in her and Christian's relationship. She shook her head to clear it.

"I have told you how he used to push me, challenge me. The truth is that Christian can be quite overpowering, high handed, and I was very young and often felt intimidated. I also was very much in love with him so in the beginning I gave in, a lot. He did too, he made quite a few changes to his life to accommodate me. But he is used to making decisions all the time and not having to explain himself to anyone. Because of who he was there were people who could pose a real threat to my physical and emotional safety and I was still new to all of that and I made a few mistakes. "

Blushing at the memory, Ana decided that sharing with Linda how she went after a kidnapper, all by herself, armed with a handgun and pregnant with Eddy, was not strictly necessary.

"All of that meant that I always had to have security with me. I was never alone and he always had to know where I was. Some of my decisions… maybe they were really wrong or maybe he just didn't like them - sometimes the lines could get a little blurred - but in those cases he would try to change or cancel my plans. I fought him tooth and nail and often won, but it did leave him unhappy. I didn't have many friends either. Partly because the way we lived, of who he was, but also because of the way I am. I don't have a lot of friends now either, opening up to people has never come easily to me," Ana stopped to collect her thoughts.

"The security was driving me nuts. I was twenty two, twenty three, and I wanted to live a normal life. Go out now and then, dance, see my friends."

"And he didn't want you to?"

"I could see my friends, but somewhere inside and private. Their houses or preferably ours, which by the way was in my name."

"Why is that important?"

"Well you said about your friend, how she didn't have any money or anywhere to go. Christian made sure I at least had the house."

"Water tight prenup, huh?"

"No, he didn't want one. It was never about the money, Linda. Quite the opposite: his money was one of the problems. He'd give me all these expensive gifts: rare books, a car, a house, a god damn company and I had nothing to bring to the table but my student loans, which he promptly paid."

"OK, I can see how that is a little unbalanced, but, seriously, he was a billionaire. Most of the population in this country would have next to nothing to bring to that table. And you were his wife."

"I know that, he told me often enough, but he was Christian Grey and I was… nobody. I wanted to prove myself worthy of it all. Make my own money, keep my independence."

"I can understand that, sort of, at least the spirit of it. So he didn't want you to?"

"It's more that he never understood why I needed to do that. He could understand the challenge, the joy in the victory when I accomplished something at work. He never failed to celebrate any of my achievements. But those came at a price. Mostly that I was away, or busy, or late from work and he missed me. He works a lot and we also had a ton of social engagements so especially that last year we hardly ever had time for each other. He struggled with that, with why I had to put up with work, why I didn't agree to cut down on my hours, let him help with the company – he already had a power of attorney from when I had been at home with T…Eddy – or let somebody else run it for me, like a management team."

"And why didn't you? "

"Because I wanted to prove to him that I could do it. That…that I was his equal, not just the little wife. "

"Oh brother! You don't think much of yourself, do you? And I hate to break it to you but…he is Christian freaking Grey: a business genius, one of a kind, certainly one in a generation. Do you suppose you could have, maybe lowered your standards a little? Compete with someone closer to your level?"

Despite herself Ana burst out laughing: "I suppose."

"OK so he had to know where you were at all times and he would try to change your plans and pushed you to do things you wouldn't do if you had a choice. I don't like the part where you felt intimidated and overpowered but it sounds like you did fight back. How did he react when you did that?"

"I told you, most of the time he'd give in. He was upset sometimes and he'd tighten security if he thought the circumstances warranted it, but he'd let me do what I wanted."

"There's that word 'let' implying you needed his permission."

"You've been married," Ana pointed out to Linda. "Did you always do what you wanted, when you wanted?"

Linda raised both her hands in a placating gesture: "Fair point. No, not always. Sometimes you have to compromise, give in as you said. But there are degrees. Like before we came here today: you went inside to talk to Dan before we left your house. Did you ask for permission or did you just tell him what you were doing?"

"Just told him. Why?"

"Well, would you have 'just told' Christian Grey or did you have to ask?"

"Just told him, mostly."

"Mostly," Linda noted and Ana frowned.

"Look Belle, from what you have told me it sounds more like you had some of the usual trouble in your marriage than anything scarier or darker. And if it is all in the past, maybe it doesn't matter anymore. But I'll send you some links anyway, some of the stuff I read about domestic abuse."

Ana shook her head: "I'll read the links, but he was not abusive. As I said, high handed, used to make decisions, but I think we just didn't have the time to find our balance, to find our feet in our relationship. I married him so quickly and my life was suddenly so different from anything I had imagined… My mother always had to have a man take care of her and I was determined to not be like that." She frowned as something just occurred to her. "I was looking up to one of my friends," Ana said - there was no need to directly name Kate –"as I thought she had more experience with relationships than I did. But I only now realize she had not had any real relationships. She was more of a serial dater and the way she interacted with men was always about her with no real compromise. Anyway she kept pushing me to go against Christian's wishes, told me I was letting him control me." Ana frowned: "That led to some occasions where I opposed him just for the sake of it, just to prove I could, to prove to myself and to her that I was not controlled by him. I kept her good opinion of me and kept true to my image of the kind of woman I thought I should be and in exchange I ended up making both me and Christian unhappy and frustrated."

Linda leaned her head to the side assessing her friend. "So he did want to control you?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"And you wanted him to?" Linda said with a note of surprise in her voice.

"Sometimes," Ana admitted with a blush.

"But everything you said before about fighting him and wanting to keep your independence and be more than the little wife…"

"Would it be so bad, Linda? Not being a door mat, but…There are many women who are quite happy and content with their husbands taking care of them at least financially: stay at home mums and wives, dedicated to their homes and children and husbands. I don't think I'd ever be happy with that, it's just not me, but knowing that I could let somebody else have the ultimate responsibility, that I don't have to do everything myself…Christian sometimes went about things the wrong way, but he was trying to help me, pave the way for whatever I wanted to do, make it easier for me. Would it be so bad to accept that help?"

"Blurred lines," Linda stated with a frown. "There's help and then there's enabling and sometimes control can be disguised as help. If he only helps with what **he** wants you to do or if there are conditions attached…"

"I know," Ana sighed. "There were no conditions attached, but I was afraid of the enabling part. He would sometimes just step into a situation and take over, smooth all the difficulties, solve all the problems and I wanted to do some of that myself. Did you read 'Men are from Mars'?"

At Linda's nod Ana continued: "Well, Christian never got around to the part where he could just listen to me but then let me solve my own problems. And I needed to do some of that, especially because of who he was. I was afraid nobody would take me seriously, professionally speaking, if he kept using his influence, so I probably overdid some of that part."

"You are really thinking about this, aren't you? You think you made a mistake, you still love him, he is single, you and Dan are not working anymore…" Linda enumerated. "Are you going to try and get back together?" she asked with something like wonder in her voice.

Ana shook her head: "Christian has his own life. Just because it's not in the newspapers it doesn't mean he really is single, just that he is discreet about it. And Dan…it's not like we are going to file for divorce. Besides it's not just me or Dan or Christian. Nick is all grown up and maybe he wouldn't be affected that much but the last thing Eddy needs right now is more turmoil in his life and then there's Emma…"

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. For a moment there it sounded kind of romantic but I can see how it really isn't, at least not for Dan and the children. But you did say that part about not being his wife anymore…"

"I meant physically," Ana blurted.

"Oh, I see. Um, that doesn't seem to leave you too many options though, does it?"

"Well, I think perhaps I could start taking better care of myself. Both you and my mom keep telling me that. I have let myself go and not only physically. Perhaps I could try harder to make some of the ideas I have for the library become reality. If Eddy wants to meet Christian…Is it very bad of me to want to look better, be better, show him I am worthy of him?"

Linda frowned: "What do you mean worthy?"

"His pushing me outside of my comfort zone…I was learning things, both professionally and socially, and to take care of myself. When I left him I also left most of that behind. I…unlearned some of the things or disregarded them. I hid behind baggy clothes and household chores and at work… I did go to Michelle, my boss, with some ideas but then I left it up to her to make them reality. It's hard to explain but it's almost worse than before I met Christian, this self-effacing thing. He would be disappointed."

Linda let out a long sigh: "I was afraid you'd say something like that. It's not a bad thing for you to want to look better and be better, Belle. But why does it have to be for him, or for anybody else for that matter? Why not do it for you? And as for your work, they made you Director. Surely you have done something to deserve that position?"

Ana once again found herself blushing furiously. She was still not ready to share with Linda how much Christian had been involved in their lives and by extension in the life of their town, but some of what Linda had said had rattled her a little:

"Ok, forget about work for a moment. But the personal part: are you going to tell me you have never made yourself look better for a man or tried to present yourself in the best possible light?"

"Of course I did, on occasion. But I also take care of myself and have my own ambitions just for my own sake."

Ana looked at Linda for a long few seconds and let the words roll in her head then slowly nodded: "You are right. I shouldn't do it for him. I should do it for me."

With her thoughts on a new track and a sense of excitement, of purpose, blooming inside of her, Ana smiled gratefully: "Thank you Linda. This kind of talk, I never had a chance to talk to anybody about all of this, not like this anyway. So I am really grateful that you have listened to me." Then she remembered: "Oh, but I meant what I said earlier, this has to remain between us."

"I meant that too Belle. It will never leave this room. And if you want to talk, I'll always be here to listen, OK? Harry and I, we were not exactly from the same social or financial circles either, so I know a little how that difference can play on your mind."

**AN Next week: Eddy starting to react to the news**


	32. Summer Storm Ch32 Pandora's box

**AN: As promised, back to our regular programme of how the Parsons deal with Ana's revelations. I hope you will all find it in your hearts to forgive Teddy for acting more like a petulant teenager than a mature adult in the next few chapters...**

**This chapter takes place on Monday evening, ten days after Ana's confession**

**Carter Ellis is Teddy's boss at the law firm where he works and also the lawyer Christian had hired for Teddy, Taylor and the security guy who had been following Taylor.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back **

Ch 32 Pandora's box

Ana was sitting at the kitchen table and had just taken out her notes from the board meeting earlier in the day, when the faint sounds from Eddy's keyboard piano reached her.

Ten days since her confession, and Eddy was still giving her the silent treatment. He did speak to Dan and Emma about everyday things and had been charming and up beat for Emma's birthday, but then he would go back to his room and spend most of the evening playing on the keyboard.

With a groan she let her head fall heavily against the wooden surface: as much as she loved hearing Eddy play, what he had been doing lately was something different. It sounded like he was composing something or learning a new piece. There were sequences even she could recognize by now, and then there were endless variations of the same piece, over and over and over again. To make it worse, the spirit of another troubled man who used music to deal with feelings for which he had no other outlet, now haunted her each time she heard Eddy play. At least Eddy found some peace at night. The days however…

She had kept her confession deliberately short to leave Eddy room to choose how much he wanted to know, what he wanted to know. But Eddy had not asked her anything and that had led to an unfortunate string of events that, if possible, had made everything even more confusing and painful for him.

Starting with the day after her conversation with Linda, just after breakfast, and the front page of the Sunday newspaper: '**GEH to sign with Detyens after governor's intervention'. **The front page article came complete with a picture of a beaming Governor Underwood standing between Christian and another man, all three in black tuxedos.

'_Uh, mom?'_ _Nick had called._ _'You said to not believe anything in the news, but this has to have some truth behind it.' _

It was Dan who had confirmed for his son: '_He cut a deal with the governor. We heard the call, Belle and I. He'll sign some deal and let the Governor take the credit as long as Eddy's accident doesn't make the papers._'

From there they had had to explain why the accident could have ended in the papers. Between her and Dan they let the others in on the fact that one of the cars involved in the accident belonged to Christian's security. That they could not very well explain just why yet another person connected to Christian was involved didn't make things any easier, and the frown between Eddy's eyebrows had just deepened.

A little later Eddy had asked if Dan could take him to work the following week: '_Despite the grants I still need some money to make up for the costs in Boston and I had planned to work all summer,'_ he had explained.

Perhaps they should have let it slide and just helped him with the driving. But Dan had hesitated and looked at her, giving Eddy time to add: _'What's wrong? You don't think I'm going to change any of that, do you?_

So she had told all of them about the trust funds, which had led to the only time Eddy had truly lost control of his temper. Nick and Emma's surprised 'what 'and 'how' had been drowned by Eddy's resolute, angry verdict: _'I'll walk if I have to, or find somewhere to stay in Columbia, but I am not taking his damn money.'_

He had been so angry he was shaking and had stood up so fast the chair had fallen to the floor with a loud crack. In the stunned silence that followed his outburst, Eddy was already walking out of the kitchen when she had found her voice and said the first thing she could think of to defuse his anger: _'It's not his money, it's mine. Please Eddy, you don't have to take them if you don't want to, but it's not his money.'_

So now they also knew about the publishing house and the house in Seattle.

Eddy had however not relented on going to work. He had pointed out that he needed the experience and the connection and he had not really said he was going to use the trust fund. So they had agreed that with a little juggling of all of their schedules she and Dan would take turns to drive him to Carolina for the next few weeks, depending on what the doctor had to say on Monday.

While finalizing those details, it became apparent that Eddy had no recollection of Carter Ellis being present in the ER so they had had to tell him that part as well:

'_Eddy, you might as well find out now rather than tomorrow, but Mr Ellis knows about the accident. You all needed a lawyer and he is who Christian had hired. You probably don't remember this part but he was at the hospital,' Dan told his son._

_All colour drained from Eddy's face at the news: 'Does he know? About my father?'_

'_No, he doesn't. He just knows that one of the people involved was Christian's security guard.'_

The way Eddy's eyes squinted each time Dan said Christian's name was painfully familiar to Ana. She had had the same reaction, back then in the early days after their separation: behind the anger there was a deep hurt that was only made worse by the constant reminder.

In the end Nick had gone upstairs with Eddy. He didn't come down for almost an hour and then he had purposefully come to find her where she had hid in the small laundry corner behind the staircase using the chore as an excuse to get away for a moment.

'_Mom', her eldest son called and then held her in an embrace while she hastily dried her tears. _

'_How is Eddy?' she asked trying to move his attention away from her._

'_He is angry and upset,' Nick told her, 'both with you and with Grey. He has not quite come to terms with the fact that that the story he knew was not true. Upsetting as it was, it is what he had built his life on, and he doesn't really know what to do about this new turn. He is happy he has a father who loved him but begins to realize…'_

'_Go on, please. I need to know and he won't talk to me,' she pleaded._

They had gone outside to sit on the porch for the remainder of that bitter sweet conversation.

'_It's not a stranger mom, it's not a faceless nameless guy. It's someone he had admired and wanted to meet. With all of this, all we have learned, some part of him begins to wonder how it would have been to be Grey's son, to really know him. Then he feels guilty because he loves dad so he is both grateful and resentful. Grateful that he has dad in his life, resentful that neither you nor Christian Grey gave him a chance to know his other father. He has seen the paper clip with his birth announcement and has this feeling of not really knowing who he is. He has heard about everything Grey did but it was only from the shadows. He never came forward to meet him. He never had a choice to know his father and now everywhere he turns Grey is in the way. It's almost like that choice is taken away from him again. Our lives, Emma's legs, the newspaper today, his work…That other woman he was talking about, the one at the hospital and in the street, he thinks she might have something to do with him as well.'_

She had closed her eyes for a moment which was enough for Nick to take hold of her hand and change his voice from slightly apologetic to a more firm tone: '_She does?'_

'_Yes, she does.'_

'_Mom, I realize this is hard on you as well, but you have to tell us. At least the stuff that is bound to come out. It drives him crazy to keep finding out about things when he least expects it.'_

'_I don't know how much to tell him Nick. I hear you and I have seen his reaction to all the surprise revelations, but…You know about the trust fund, the other one, the one from his father. Do you really think this is the time to tell him about that?'_

'_Shit. I'd forgotten about that. Not really forgotten but…yeah, maybe now it's not the time, maybe let him figure out what he wants to do about his father first. So that woman, is it that bad?'_

'_She is his personal security. Or was.'_

'_Like a body guard? Oh, she was running after him!'_

'_What do you mean?'_

'_She was at the bar, I ran into her when Eddy stormed out. She must have tried to catch up with him…Why does he have a body guard? If nobody knows Grey is his father, I mean?'_

'_He is his son, Nick. Christian can be very protective of his family.'_

Nick had given her a strange look she couldn't quite fathom before telling her: _'Eddy should know mom. If not today, perhaps tomorrow when he and dad go to Carolina. They'll have to talk to the police anyway. As I said he already suspects something.'_

'_OK, I'll talk to Dan and see what he thinks. And you? How are you in all of this?'_

'_My head is still spinning with all the information' Nick conceded, 'but this is more about Eddy than about me. I feel for him and it's not much I can do to help him.'_

'_Nick, you have been exactly what he needed this weekend. But what I meant was about last week when we first talked about this. You said you would like to know more about your mother?'_

'_Mom, you are my mom. Yes, I'd like to know more but not because I miss having a mother. You know that this is part of Eddy's problem don't you? As much as he is angry with you, he loves you. You are his mom and he misses you.'_

_Nick sighed_: '_I have to get going, drive back to Charleston. Just give him time, OK? I think we all need a little time to figure out all of this. It would be nice to have a few quiet days with no surprises or life changing news.' __He shook his head_: '_I've just contradicted what I said earlier about telling him stuff, haven't I?'_

'_A little,'_ she had smiled at her son, '_but I'll see what I can do.'_

At least on Monday they had had some good news: the doctor had removed Eddy's splint and gave him a sling to wear but only if the arm was really uncomfortable. Otherwise he was told to move it as much as he could without doing anything too strenuous. That's when the piano playing had started.

In an attempt to address both sides of Nick's advice, that evening she had gone to Eddy's room to see if she could answer any of his questions, if he would ask her if they were just the two of them. A week later she was still unsure whether that had done more good than damage.

He was sitting at his desk when she entered and sat at the foot of his bed.

'_Eddy, I can't tell you how sorry I am for all of this, for how much you are hurting right now. You have every right to be angry with me, but please let me help if I can. If there's anything you want to know, any questions you have, I'll answer them. Now, or later, or anytime you want me to.'_

Eddy had looked at her stone faced then tilted his head to one side and without taking his eyes from her had enumerated_: 'I have a father. He has not moved on from me, you took me away from him. Then he found me and paid for all that stuff in my life and been around and took pictures of me. You said he wants to meet me, but in all these years he never did. Is there more I should know?'_

'_When he found you, Dan and I were married, we had a family. Christian is adopted. He loves his adoptive parents and has never wanted to know who his biological father is. That's why he kept himself away. He thought you would be happier without him, not knowing about him. And now that you do know about him, that's why he is leaving it up to you if you want to meet him.'_

'_Why should I believe you?'_

She knew she had deserved that, so instead of trying to defend herself she had asked: _'Would you believe him? He wrote to me, I can show you the letter. If you want.'_

'_I'll think about it._' Eddy had answered and turned back to the papers spread on his desk.

Christian's letter was yet another thing.

Saturday, the day of her confession, she was finally getting ready for bed when Dan had found her holding her phone in one hand and the charger in the other.

'_Something the matter?'_

'_I would like to let Christian know we have told Eddy about him.'_

'_Are you asking my permission?' Dan asked, uncertain how to interpret the lack of conviction in her voice._

'_Not exactly, but I live with you Dan, I am married to you, and you know I still have feelings for Christian. So I suppose I am giving you a chance to have your say,' she answered as honestly as she could._

_Dan looked at her for a few seconds then sighed: 'He is Eddy's father and there is bound to be some communication between the two of you.'_

That's how she had found out that Christian had given Dan his contact details.

She kept her text message short: **'We have told him. It was a lot to take in and he will need some time.'**

There was no doubt in her mind that Christian would know who had sent the message, that he would know her number. His reply only two minutes later confirmed her suspicion:** 'I understand. Please let me know. I have sent you a letter; I hope it was not inappropriate to do so.'**

That had thrown her but only briefly: as she had just pointed out herself, she was married to Dan. There was no way Christian would have been OK with his wife receiving letters from an ex.

'**No, it's fine. I'll be looking forward to your letter.'**

The letter was in the box the next morning. Luckily the oddity of a letter in the Sunday post had been quickly forgotten in the trouble caused by the newspaper and she had been able to save it for a quieter moment later in the day. Whether it was typical of Christian's impatient nature or a testimony to his lack of trust in this form of communication between them, it hardly mattered at this point.

She had considered opening it alone in her room, but that would have not been fair to Dan. So after Emma and Eddy had gone upstairs she had taken the letter and a cup of tea to the family room.

_Dear Ana,_

_Thank you for writing to me. I have to confess that I had already either guessed, suspected or confirmed most of what you have told me, although not until it was far too late._

_I too owe you more than one apology, for creating a situation that has led you to doubt me and for not being more determined in contacting you and talking to you. __However many of all the things I would like to tell you are difficult to say and I am not convinced that this is the appropriate way to do it. __I would like to be able to tell them to you face to face as, frankly, I would need the reassurance of seeing your reaction and knowing if you understand, or if I have to stop. _

_I also don't want to disrupt your life more than I have already done. Please believe me when I tell you that this was not my intention. I did intend to remain unknown to Teddy, unless you, or him, chose otherwise. Which brings me to the main reason for this letter._

_You have asked me if I would be willing to meet with Teddy and the answer is unequivocally yes. I have always wanted to meet him, Ana, but by the time I have found you, you already had a family. He looked happy, carefree. I had a choice to make and I believed that he would be happier with you in Rock Hill than having to be dragged between the two of us. Besides, you, better than anyone, understand the constraints and limitations that come with being close to me, being part of my life. It would have not been possible, not in the long term, to not inflict some of those constraints on you and Teddy and the rest of your family. Perhaps it was presumptuous of me to make that choice for everybody. In hind sight, perhaps I should have approached you sooner. But as the years went by it seemed to me that any other course of action than to remain in the background would be more disruptive than beneficial, and so I have waited until I thought Teddy was old enough to be able to make his own decision._

_You know how I feel about Grace and Carrick. For that reason I will respect Teddy's decision no matter what it is. But do not doubt that I will always want to be a part of his life._

_Obviously you have by now met Elliot. I would like to apologize for what he has said to you and the way he has said it. Elliot, like most others, is not fully aware of exactly what happened all those years ago. Unfortunately neither is Grace. Unless you ask me not to, I will share your letter with mom and let you know. _

_As for other people in our lives, besides the ones you already know, there is only Samantha, my daughter. Sam knows about you and Teddy and how important you are to me, so I can only repeat what I have told you at the hospital: you never have to hesitate to contact me, for anything. _

_I will end here although I have not addressed many of the things I would have liked to tell you, and some of the ones you have raised in your letter. Perhaps there will be other occasions and a different way to discuss those._

_Tentatively hopeful,_

_Christian_

_PS Despite some advantages to this form of communication, it is very slow. Would it be possible, in case there is a future need, to contact you in some other, faster, way?_

For Dan's sake she had fought to keep her emotions under control, to not allow herself to read between the lines and just stick to the words. Even so this letter was far more personal than the first letter he had sent her and his comment of this being perhaps inappropriate seemed more relevant. Nevertheless she had offered the letter to Dan.

Dan had hesitated for a moment and in those few seconds when the letter hung between them the reality of how different their relationship had become hit them both. Only a month ago, Dan was her rock, her shelter. She had asked him to read that first letter for her when she was terrified of what Christian might have to say. The way he now hesitated to read this second letter was more reminiscent of their first few dates. This is how they had behaved then: hesitant, both with each other and with themselves. Uncertain whether they wanted to, or if they would be able to, once again commit their hearts, uncertain of whether the other would ask more than they could give, afraid to say or do anything that would re-open wounds that had not quite healed. Slowly they had glided into a relationship where they had eventually committed to each other only that which they could give. They were friends with benefits and had built their lives on that mutual understanding.

She had met Dan's eyes to see her own feeling that something between them had been lost reflected in his expression. His soft '_You can tell me'_ brought it home to her: they were still sharing a life, still caring for each other and their children, still trusting each other, but the intimacy of a close relationship was no longer there. The part where one of them would know the other's thoughts without needing to be told, would know the other's needs and addressed them, even the comfort they had been able to provide for each other in times of need was somehow different. They were growing apart. She was growing apart.

When they had parted for their respective rooms, going up the stairs in the house she shared with Dan, holding the letter from Christian in her hand, it seemed to her that there was a striking similarity into the breakup of both her marriages. With Christian because she was so focused on what she thought she should be and with Dan because she wanted to bury her past, but in both relationships she had given her partners a distorted image of herself.

In the past week, besides focusing on Emma and on Eddy, as much or as little as he would allow her to, she had spent large chunks of time trying to sort out though her own feelings, her own desires for herself. Linda's email had started her on that path. Not the domestic abuse links, those had only reinforced her conviction that her relationship with Christian had nothing in common with abuse. But the second part of the email…

Ana squeezed her eyes shut even tighter than before. That part she was still working through.

Still, she had gone to bed with her head full of the realization that her relationships had crumbled because she had not been honest to herself above all. Because of that Dan had once again lost a partner and Christian…She couldn't bear the thought of what her leaving the way she did had done to him. Elliot's words had been like a red hot poker branding her. She had opened Christian's letter to read it one more time, this time allowing the unspoken words and the tone of the letter to filter through to her.

His explanation had more than hinted at that deep seated insecurity she had known in Christian, that fear that he wouldn't be good enough to be a father to their children. The fear she had thought he had conquered when Teddy was born and then when he wanted another child. To find out that the same insecurity had kept him away made her, irrational as it was, angry. Not with him, but with the universe and life and everything in between. Besides, as much as the letter was very Christian-like, very self-contained and only giving away the minimum he had felt he should give, there was a note of hesitancy she had never known in him.

Out of a feeling of frustration and helplessness she had picked up her phone and sent him a text, her way of fighting back against the injustice of the universe: **'Thank you for your letter, Christian. Yes, you can contact me by other means. I have seen your daughter at graduation, she is beautiful.'**

'**You are welcome and thank you. How is Teddy?'**

'**Angry, confused'**

'**I'm sorry that I brought this to you and to him'**

'**You could not know, but he was going to ask me about you anyway, about his father I mean. So this is not on you. This is on me'**

'**He was?'**

'**I was stupid to think he wouldn't have questions, he wouldn't wonder. And now he pays the price for that'**

'**Ana, can we agree that we are both responsible?'**

That was her Fifty, taking over or at least taking the lead, not allowing her to think badly of herself. She could have pressed the call button and talked to him instead, once again apologize for what she had done, tell him that it was not his fault, maybe ask the question she had not dared ask before. But she was not ready to take that step, so instead she gave him the only thing she could give, her acceptance of his request:

'**OK'**

'**Please let me know'**

'**I will, I promise' **

'**Goodnight Anastasia'**

Of course he knew what time it was for her. She had wondered what time it was for him. She had wondered how it could feel so right for him to call her by a name she had not heard in so long. She had wondered about that sentence in the letter where he had said '_how important you are to me'._

Again she had found herself not ready to tackle all of that. Vowing that she will work on it, work on herself, she had simply replied:

'**Goodnight Christian'**

She had not communicated with him since then.

"Ah, there you are." Dan's voice interrupted her train of thought.

**AN: Next chapter time to make some decisions**


	33. Summer Storm Ch33 Decisions

**AN So, the last chapter before the one you are all waiting for. A wait that will be a little less than usual as I plan to post it as an extra on Wednesday evening (CET). In the mean time hope you will enjoy this one.**

**B characters in this chapter: Stewart is the chairman of the library council and had asked Ana to hold a speech to raise funds for the Martial Arts Centre and**** Miss Bowles is Emma's dance teacher.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back **

Ch 33 Decisions

Dan's voice put a halt to Ana's recollection of the past week and she slowly raised her head from the table. The music had stopped as well.

"Are you OK?" Dan asked with a head movement towards the papers.

"Yes. I was just going through my notes from today. You were looking for me?"

Dan hesitated for a moment then took a chair opposite her at the table.

"Yeah, I was," he said then stopped, obviously changing his mind about what he was going to say, surveying the papers spread on the table. "I didn't ask you about your speech on Wednesday. What did you tell them?"

"Dan, my work must have been the last thing on your mind this week. Thank you for even remembering about the speech."

"I didn't," Dan admitted. "A couple of the guys at work were talking about it. A fundraiser?"

Ana sighed. This should have been just about a husband asking his wife about her day but Christian's shadow was already looming over them again.

"Yes, I asked them to approve a fund raising effort. I had a couple of the young people training at the Martial Arts Centre and one of the trainers speak for the Centre and what it brings to the community and several members have pledged to help raise funds. Going around town, there will be a martial arts demonstration at the Fourth of July, going to schools and asking permission to tell parents about the club, that kind of thing. I volunteered to help Robert, that's one of the trainers, if we could get permission to use communal grounds like parks, the library and the city hall."

"So you didn't ask them for money?"

"No," she shook her head. "The council doesn't have any money for this. Stewart was certain about it."

"So he really meant for you to just use the speech to reach your anonymous sponsor."

"Yes, but I couldn't stand there and hold a speech knowing I would in fact be asking Christian. We have to do this ourselves."

Pensive, Dan leaned his head to one side assessing her. Everything he had learned about his wife's ex in the past few weeks told him there was going to be a problem with that plan.

"So how did it go?"

"We have permission," Ana admitted but hesitation in her voice told Dan he was right in his assumtpions.

"But?"

"Somebody has already contacted Stewart. He'll match whatever we manage to raise."

"That was quick," Dan frowned. "You don't mind?"

"No. I…He's not taking over. It's just his way of encouraging us, a 'well done' of sorts. What about you? Any news on the Charlotte office?"

"We're getting there. We'll start to look at locations soon. I might have to travel back and forth a little."

They both remained silent for a few seconds just enjoying this moment of sharing their lives with each other.

"You were looking for me?" Ana asked.

As if on cue the faint sounds of the piano notes once again drifted from the floor above them and it was Dan's turn to sigh.

"I know I've said to give him time, but what he is doing right now can't be good or healthy for him. He's just torturing himself."

Dan had shared with her a few of the conversations he had had with Eddy during the week so she asked: "Has he been talking to you anymore?"

"A little," Dan nodded. "Asked me what I knew, how long I have known, asked about Christian's family. I have told him again that perhaps he should meet Christian to get some answers, but he doesn't seem to be able to make that decision. And I have been thinking: Christian said he will respect Eddy's choice but if Eddy chooses not to meet him, not to learn to know him, does Christian understand that he will then have to back out of Eddy's life?"

Ana didn't need to ask for an explanation, she knew what Dan meant: no more fixing Eddy's car or paying for things, or arranging for convenient opportunities…The enormity of asking that of Christian crushed her spine against the hard back of the chair as if she had been hit with a heavy object in the middle of the chest, and that weight was now sitting there keeping her immobile and stopping her from even breathing.

"I thought so," Dan responded to her frozen stance and the wild look in her eyes. "We'll have to find a way to get that through to him, Belle. The decisions Christian and you have made so far, right or wrong, were yours to make. But now that you have both given Eddy a choice, you'll have to respect his decision, whatever it is."

Dan was right of course; both in his request and in his guess that neither she nor probably Christian had fully considered the consequences of Eddy deciding that his life was fine as it were now. And if Dan no longer supported Eddy towards meeting Christian…

"I won't push him either way, Belle," Dan answered the plea in her eyes, "but he seems to be stuck with all these questions and what-ifs running through his mind. It's like he is trying to solve a maths problem or something like that and I don't think this is something he'll be able to solve just by thinking about it. He needs to make a decision, at least for now, and see how that feels."

xXx

Two days later Ana left the stew she had prepared slowly bubble on the stove and went to the family room to finish folding the laundry before Emma got home from her dance class and they could all sit down for dinner. Eddy had arrived earlier and only stopped by to say hello then gone straight upstairs. For once he didn't seem to be playing.

When Dan arrived home he barely had time to sit in the armchair in the family room before Eddy came downstairs to join his parents in the family room.

"I thought I heard your car," Eddy told Dan and sat down in the opposite armchair.

"Hi Eddy, how was your day?"

"Good, short. I'm glad you are both here. I've been thinking and you are right, I need to make a decision. But before that I think I'd like to meet him. There are some things I want to ask, things that I need to know."

Eddy had kept turning his head to look from Dan to her and back, so Ana came and sat on the couch where he could see both of them at the same time. Beyond that, with the way Eddy had worded his sentence and Dan's warning from Monday evening, she barely dared to breathe.

"Ok," Dan said. "Do you have anything in particular in mind? A day or a place?"

"I have work and I'm sure he's pretty busy. But I was thinking perhaps this weekend, if he can make it."

"He won't be too busy for you, Eddy," Ana tried to reassure her son, addressing the uncertainty in his words. "I can call him and let him know. Let me get my phone," she said standing to get her handbag.

"I…I think I'll be upstairs," Eddy said and quickly stood to walk out of the room.

With a deep sigh Dan also stood: "I'll go be with Eddy while you make the call."

Reeling a little from Eddy's reaction, her heart hammering against her chest with apprehension, Ana sat back down on the couch in the now empty room. A quick mental arithmetic told her it was middle of the afternoon in Seattle and Christian was probably at work. She quickly typed a text message: **It is not an emergency but can you call me when you have a moment?**

**xXx**

Ana's assumption was correct, Christian not only was at work, but he was in a meeting - one important enough that he had left his phone with Andrea. That was one of the things that had not changed at GEH: despite her exalted position as Director of Executive Personnel, there were some things with which Christian Grey would only trust her. His phone was one of those things, not only because of the need for privacy but also because she had known him long enough to know which messages were important and which could wait, which calls to answer and which to let go to voice mail. Until now.

When the screen lit up with the name 'Ana' and the text asking for a call, Andrea was momentarily stumped. Ana? Which Ana? As far as she was aware there was only one Ana in Christian Grey's life and she had not been around in years.

She picked up the phone in her private office behind the counter on the executive floor and dialled Sawyer's number. McKenzie might be Grey's current head of security, but this was before his time. Taking a leaf from her bosses' book to let Sawyer know she was not best pleased to be kept out of the loop she didn't bother with any niceties. As soon as he picked up she launched her offensive: "Grey has a text from an Ana. Care to brief me?"

"Fuck. What does she say?"

"What the hell, Luke?"

"Andrea, can you just tell me what the text says?" Sawyer insisted and Andrea could hear him furiously typing on his keyboard in the background.

"She says it is not an emergency but asks that he calls her. Is it from who I think it is?"

"Yeah, it is. Ok, everybody is accounted for, safe and sound. Grey might need to know this. But you have to get him and let him know about the text."

"She says it's not urgent."

"She's probably right, but he'll want to know if she tries to contact him and he'll want to know immediately. I'll talk to you when I have a moment, OK?"

"You'd better," Andrea said and hung up the phone, already standing to go get her boss.

As she witnessed his reaction to the text message on the phone, although on the outside she maintained her cool professional appearance, on the inside she couldn't help a roll of her eyes and an involuntary 'Here we go…again': Christian stood with fluid grace, but his fingers tightly gripping the phone betrayed his tension. "Gentlemen, there is something requiring my immediate attention. If you would care to take a short break, we can resume the meeting in a few minutes."

And with that he was out the door and Andrea was left to deal as best she could with the two CEO's and the half a dozen legal and administrative representatives left starring at each other.

Back in his office Christian only took the time for one long breath before pressing the call button:

"Ana?"

"Christian, hi. I hope I am not interrupting you."

"You aren't. What happened?"

"Nothing happened. It's...Teddy wants to meet you."

The silence stretched on the line between the two, the words hanging between them. Five words he had barely dared to hope for, and now that they were out there he wanted to make this moment last, he wanted to remember it.

"When?" he managed, not enough breath left in his lungs for a longer sentence.

"This weekend, if you are free."

He squeezed his eyes shut. Of all the days…The one time he could not leave Seattle was the coming Saturday.

"I have to be in Seattle Saturday. It's the Coping Together Gala. I'm hosting it."

Ana knew it was not about the money; Christian could have put in all the money himself. It was more about networking, letting others know about the problem and that he cared, which prompted others to care. If he was hosting it he had to be there.

But she also had a son upstairs, to whom she had rashly promised Christian wouldn't be too busy to meet him.

Barely daring to make the suggestion she whispered: "What about Sunday?"

With renewed energy, Christian responded immediately to her suggestion: "That I can do. I can be in Carolina or in Charlotte, any time after 10am. Your time," he added.

"Are you sure? It must take hours to fly from Seattle."

"Anastasia, yes I'm sure."

"Ok. Um, where?" She answered a little annoyed. He was not so sure a moment ago before she had suggested Sunday!

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Thank you for suggesting Sunday. Does he have any preference, anything he would like to do?"

So there it was, another bridge to cross. She took a deep breath and released it slowly, gaining a precious one or two seconds to gather her thoughts.

"No, he doesn't. I don't think he'll mind where you meet. Christian…he is angry and hurt and he has questions he needs to ask. I have told him about your letter, your explanation, but he might want to hear it from you."

"I see. I suppose that was to be expected."

"I'm sorry Christian, I know this is my fault and I have tried to talk to him but he…" she didn't finish the sentence knowing Christian would blame himself for the breakdown in the relationship between her and their son.

She was right. Even without the end to that sentence Christian caught on: "He is upset with you."

"He has every right to be," Ana admitted, and then rushed her next words before the fear of the answer would stop them in her throat: "Why are you not angry with me?"

"Ana…I'm not 'not angry'. But we were two in what happened. I should have come after you and I could have contacted him sooner. It's not just your fault."

"Thank you," Ana whispered.

Again the silence stretched between them, this time pregnant with the things they could not say or were not ready to say to each other.

"I have to go," Christian finally admitted in a gentle voice. "I'll look into some options for Sunday and let you know."

"OK."

"Take care of yourself, please."

"I will, thank you. You too."

And then there was only silence at the other end of the line and the phone felt heavy, a dead weight in her hand, the undertones in that conversation lingering and cocooning her like a blanket. She took a deep breath and the feeling eased a little. This wasn't right and could not happen, not here, not now, not again, not yet.

Another shuddering breath and the blanket thinned to a mantle then a thin veil. She was in Rock Hill, in the family living room…The moment finally passed and the connection was once again broken, but this time she could not deny that it had been there. The moment they had locked eyes at the end of the graduation ceremony, the charge between them at the hospital and now this: Linda was right, time and distance make you forget things. As much as she remembered there had been magic, she had forgotten just how the magic felt, how much power Christian held over her and how tempting it was to slip into the old pattern, the one that had ultimately broken them, broken her and, if Elliot was right, broken Christian.

She was going to have to face him at some point, she knew that. Both she and Christian had mentioned they needed to talk to each other. She had ample evidence that Christian was still taking care of her, perhaps even cared about her. And that meant she couldn't go into that conversation until she was strong enough, confident enough to do it without crumbling under the weight of guilt and regret. Anything else would force Christian to keep looking after her rather than giving them both the closure they needed. She had to fix herself, break her pattern of being what others expected her to be and find the answer to the question Christian had so often asked her: 'What do you want Anastasia?'

For now however she had a son anxious enough that he couldn't bear to listen to the phone call while she made it.

Calmer, Ana finally dropped the phone back in her handbag and went upstairs to let Eddy and Dan know that Christian would fly over Sunday morning. It was all she could do not to cry as Eddy tried to cover his first reaction at the news: surprise that Christian would actually come at such short notice.

xXx

Christian's reply arrived as a text message while they were eating dinner a little under an hour later.

**The Fig Tree Restaurant, 1601 E 7th St, Charlotte. I'll be there from 10.30 am**

When her phone alerted her of a text message, three pairs of eyes landed on Ana. They had not deliberately kept Emma out of the loop; there just hadn't been an occasion to inform her. And now that she knew of the planned meeting, she and Eddy seemed to have switched places: Eddy was more animated than he had been in days while Emma was mostly chewing her food in silence looking from one member of her family to the other.

Before all the dishes were cleared from the table she reminded Dan: "Dad, you said you'll take a look at my sound," referring to the speakers in the car she had received as a birthday present from her parents.

It didn't take long for Dan to find the faulty connection and reattach the wires then straighten up: "OK, Emma, try it now!" he said backing out of the car booth and straightening to look over the back seat.

Emma was standing with her back against the rear door and her arms crossed over her chest. She raised her head and her eyes seemed far away for a moment then she nodded and moved over to the front of the car to start the radio.

"Hey, you OK, sweetheart?" Dan asked her and put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"Yeah, sort of."

"Sort of?" Dan tried to catch her eyes.

"It's all of this," Emma waved in the general direction of the house.

"I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I talked to mom a little, but… this whole life she has had before, it's so different from everything we know that it doesn't seem quite real."

Emma stopped uncertain that she was actually making any sense, but Dan could sympathise with some of what she was trying to say.

"Come," he said. "I'm pretty sure the sound is fixed. Why don't we sit down for a while and talk a little."

They ended up just sitting in the grass by the driveway and Dan put an arm around Emma's shoulders.

"Doesn't feel real, huh? You want to tell me what the most unreal part is?"

"Well, for one we're stinking rich. I know mom said the money are in trust funds and are only meant for really important things - like school and doctors and maybe a house when I'm older - but it's still a lot of money and…maybe I can go to dance school after all."

"Emma, if it's just about the cost then yes, you can go to any school you want."

"Yeah, mom said so. She said she'll talk to Miss Bowles about what would be needed but there's this school I have been looking into. They offer several courses in choreography but I am not sure I quite get the admission criteria. I think I should talk to them, maybe go and visit the school."

"Ok, we can do that, I'm sure we can figure something out," Dan said

"It's in New York."

"Oh," Dan said, momentarily taken aback by the thought of his little daughter in that far away big city. "That is a bit of a way from Rock Hill, I suppose. But if that's what you want to do, it's not like you are moving there right now is it?"

"No, I'll probably have to do a lot of practice and lessons and it's an undergraduate program anyway."

"Well then, we'll try and see if we can get up there this summer - see what they say and if you really like it - and we'll take it from there."

Emma took a deep breath and slowly let it out and nodded a few times but didn't otherwise comment on her father's reassurance.

"There's more isn't it?"

"It's this whole thing with Eddy's bio dad," Emma admitted. "It's not like I didn't know about it, I did. But it was like…like the scars on my leg: I know they are there and maybe they matter in a way, like when I choose my clothes, and maybe I sometimes wish they weren't there, but I can still live my life, be who I am, and I don't have to think about them all the time, they are just part of me now. With Eddy, if his dad, his other dad, is now real and he is going to meet him, it feels like it's changing something."

"Emma, listen to me," Dan said and gently turned her around to see her face: "Eddy is you brother and my son. Nothing will change that. I know he has kept himself to himself for the past couple of weeks, but he had a lot to think about, and it doesn't mean he doesn't care for you anymore. "

"But do you really not mind that he has another dad?"

"Honestly? I do, a little. I do sometimes wish he was only my son and I didn't have to share him with anyone else but his mother, but the reality is that he has another parent and it is something that has been bothering him, upsetting him, more than I knew, for a long time. And I know Eddy. If he decides he wants to learn to know Christian, maybe let him be part of his life, it doesn't mean he will replace me or you with another family. There is enough space in that boy's heart for all of us. But we have to do the same for him: we can't hold it against him if he wants to meet the rest of his family."

"You think I'm jealous?"

"In a way, maybe. I'm not very good with words, but something like that."

Emma could feel the heat rising in her cheeks and her father noticed the blush blooming on her face.

"Maybe I am, a little. He has another sister and she is older than me so they might get along better, have more to talk about. She goes to all these fancy places, like balls and ceremonies…if Eddy starts going there, I don't mind him going, I am happy for him, but…" Emma sighed from where she was leaning against her father.

"But you would rather he went with you," Dan finished her sentence.

As Emma just kept picking at the grass and didn't answer he tried teasing her a little: "And I suppose you wouldn't mind wearing one of those fancy long dresses either, would you?"

"Dad!" Emma dropped the grass she had been picking and looked up: "I'm being serious."

"I know Emma. But I don't think you need to worry about that. Eddy has Nick as well; they do things together without you. Are you jealous of Nick?"

"Sometimes," Emma huffed.

"Really?"

"Well, yes, sometimes. I mean I understand why he would rather spend time with Nick, they are guys and go and do guy stuff together. But this is…different."

"You said that before," Dan acknowledged, then remembered the first thing Emma had brought up. "Is this about the money, about Christian being rich and famous?"

Emma bowed her head and blushed again.

"Emma, I can't talk to you if you won't tell me what it is that's really bothering you."

"It is that. Mom had this whole life before she met you and she never mentioned it or did anything about it. I know this whole thing has upset her, she told me about how sorry she was that Eddy never knew his father before and that he had to find out all at once like this and now he is angry at her. She says it's OK for him to be angry, that she understands why, but it still hurts her that he won't talk to her. And she told me how the money and the fame don't mean anything, that it's the people around you that actually matter. But since we went to the hospital last month she sleeps in the guest bedroom. Something happened there. She was crying and I thought it was about me but now I keep thinking: there was this woman there, Dr Shepard's wife, she was beautiful and elegant and was wearing all this jewellery…"

Dan's heart had sunk while listening to Emma. His little girl was right in the spirit if not the details. He sighed: there were things he couldn't talk to Emma about, but he decided to tell her the part that he could.

"Emma, your mom, I think she means it when she says that she doesn't care about the money. She didn't even want to take them, I convinced her to and event then she didn't want any for herself, that's why we put them into trust funds for the three of you. But when she moved away, when she left Seattle and her life there, she left a part of who she was back then behind and I think she misses some of that. She had a college degree she never used, wanted to be an editor…I think she misses that: what she could have been. So for now she, like Eddy, needs a little time and space to herself. Did you talk to her about this?"

Emma nodded: "I did. I mentioned that she had a different name and she said about the same thing as you. That her name is Anabelle now but she does remember how it was to be younger and to do other things and that maybe she will try and do some of those things but that at home she will still be my mom."

"That's good then?" Dan asked, a little reassured by the long sentence which was more typical for how Emma usually spoke.

"Mostly. I know it can't be quite that simple," Emma sighed.

"No it isn't, you are right. But I promise we won't let things surprise you anymore Emma. If anything is going to happen, if anything is going to change in any way, we'll talk to you and to the boys before it happens, OK?"

"Ok, yeah, that will be good."

With a kiss to her temple, Dan stood up and then stretched his hand to help Emma to her feet.

"Oh and don't blast your ears with that music now that it works!"

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I saw that," Dan warned her.

**AN: Next chapter Christian and Teddy's meeting part 1**


	34. Summer Storm Ch34 The first meeting

**AN: The restaurant where they meet is real and can be found on Google maps. One reader has actually been there! **

**B characters in this chapter: Dr Renner is Christian's current psychiatrist**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back**

Ch 34 The first meeting

The following three days went by in a blur with Ana's level of anxiety reaching panic attack levels. In contrast Dan seemed more casual than ever, Emma seemed to be going about her days as usual and Eddy was almost back to his usual self. And that was exactly why she was so anxious. Although Eddy was once again participating in dinner conversations and spending at least some time with them downstairs, emotionally he was a brick wall, keeping both her and Dan at arm's length. It was annoying and touching at the same time how much his behaviour mimicked his father's. But that's how she knew he had something planned, something he suspected they wouldn't approve of.

Sunday morning breakfast seemed to take forever and then Eddy disappeared upstairs and when he came back down he was carrying his keyboard in one hand and the stand in the other.

"I'll just put these in the car," he told Ana and Dan who were waiting for him in the family room.

The discussion on how to get to Charlotte had taken place on Thursday evening. Dan had insisted that Eddy shouldn't drive himself: '_I can't risk having you too distracted or too upset to drive Eddy. I'll take you, and then pick you up when you need me to._'

With his accident still present in everybody's minds, perhaps it should have not surprised them that Eddy had accepted the offer without much resistance. But something in Eddy's attitude had caused even Dan to raise an eyebrow. Dan and Ana had found a moment just before bedtime to discuss Eddy and had quickly realized that they shared the same impression: he was up to something. Not sure how exactly that would be helpful, they agreed Ana should accompany them to Charlotte. As far as Eddy was concerned, it was to keep Dan company while he waited.

For the moment however, it didn't seem like anybody was keeping anybody else company. Dan was concentrating on navigating his way through Charlotte, Eddy was just staring out the window in the back seat, one hand idly resting on the keyboard lying beside him, and Ana's eyes were darting from the view outside the car to Dan and then to the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of Eddy's face.

"Is that a Macan?" Eddy exclaimed as Dan had slowed down coming to an intersection.

With a father working in car repairs and dealership both him and Nick had grown around cars and shared their father's enthusiasm for them.

"Yeah it is," Dan said with barely a glance to the Porsche Macan parked sideways to their left. "There's also a Mercedes GL behind it ," he said as he turned left through the junction and signalled left again.

Another Porsche Macan was just moving away from the entrance to the otherwise deserted parking lot of the restaurant. They were there.

Mostly hidden from the street by a bushy tree, the restaurant occupied the corner plot of the street. Dan entered the parking lot and stopped the car just by the alley connecting the lot with the front entrance of the restaurant.

Movement on the shadowed porch caught their attention and a moment later Christian Grey stepped out from the shadows and descended the few stone steps then stopped facing them. He was alone, dressed in a white polo shirt and casual trousers, squinting against the bright light.

Even casually dressed and standing alone in front of what appeared to be a closed restaurant, Christian looked immaculate, strong, in control…

Ana's thoughts were interrupted by Eddy shuffling out of the car, dragging his keyboard and the stand with him.

"Wait here," he told his parents, "this might not take long."

As Ana and Dan were left with a feeling of unease at their son's words, Christian watched him approach carrying the two rather large objects. He made an effort to strip the frown that he felt forming between his eyebrows and keep his face relaxed and neutral.

Teddy however kept his eyes on the ground until he could see Christian's feet, then stopped and awkwardly shuffled the keyboard to rest between his arm and his body freeing his hand to place the stand. In two swift moves, aided with a push from his foot, the stand was set and he placed the keyboard on it before finally raising his eyes to meet Christian's.

"They tell me you are my father," he said, hard blue eyes meeting wondering gray ones.

"I am," Christian answered and nodded for emphasis.

"Prove it," Teddy challenged and stepped back from the keyboard he had just set up.

This time the frown did make an appearance on Christian's front: "You want me to play the keyboard?" he asked a little unsure as to what Teddy actually meant.

"There is this piece, this melody, I can barely remember. They tell me it's probably a childhood memory, something I must have heard often enough to leave a trace. Mom can't play so she can't help me find it. So it has to be you. My father anyway. Mom says you play."

More than Teddy's words it was the aggression, the bitterness in his voice, that hit Christian. Ana had warned him Teddy was angry. If this is what she had had to put up with…His eyes darted to her face, frozen with concern behind the windshield of the car, but he immediately corrected that lapse and focused back on his son.

"I do, yes. I have never played on a keyboard though. But I did play the piano for you."

Teddy didn't seem to react to that statement and was not giving him anymore clues as to what he was expecting from him.

"Can you show me what the melody you are looking for sounds like?"

He knew the moment the words left his mouth that it had been the wrong thing to say. As Teddy's shoulders sank and he reached out for his keyboard with a muttered "Forget it" the image of a disappointed little boy, barely more than a toddler, crossed his mind and he instantly knew what song Teddy was talking about.

"Teddy, wait."

The moment froze around them as their eyes once again locked in a hard stare.

"Eddy. Edward. My name is Edward Parson."

Dr Renner had warned him about this and to not challenge the name issue. He was losing his chance to prove to Teddy he was important to him and he couldn't afford that. The anger and the defiance in the young man stood in front of him was painfully familiar and so was the need for reassurance. But if he got it wrong…

"I was told you wouldn't remember, that you were too young," Christian said, his mind furiously working to remember the tune he had not played in years.

"You know what I am talking about?"

Teddy sounded surprised.

"I think so, yes. Can I warm up? I didn't expect to play."

A slight blush rose in Teddy's cheeks as he once again stepped back from the keyboard and nodded. Christian lowered his eyes to the instrument, away from his son's embarrassment. He caressed the keys with his fingers and tentatively pressed a few, then more confidently launched into a couple of scales. The instrument was tuned although far from the full bodied sound of the grand piano he was accustomed to. This was not about his performance though.

He backed a little until he could sit on the flat cement railing surrounding the few stone steps and pulled the keyboard to the right distance for him.

Bach's arpeggio from Jesu, Joy of Man's Desire crossed his mind and he launched into the quick paced series of notes, getting a feeling for the instrument and for how his fingers would move over the tightly packed keys.

"There was this piece I used to play, Debussy, Prelude pour le Piano," Christian spoke in a voice just loud enough to be heard above the first few chords of the piece. "You were sitting in my lap and seemed to like it a lot, except for the parts you didn't like," he shook his head at the memory. "There are two passages where I need to cross my hands and then the part where the left hand plays all the way to the left. It was a grand piano so the movement was wider than on the keyboard. And then you'd put your hands over your ears when it got too loud or too fast."

Lost in memory Christian played the four minutes piece almost absent minded then raised his eyes to Teddy. Teddy looked…sad, maybe disappointed.

"I changed the piece, I re-wrote parts of it. Brought the left notes to the middle and slowed it down some and played it more softly than it was intended."

There was no way his conscious mind would remember the exact notes this many years down the line, so Christian clung to the memory of a squirming toddler sitting in his lap as he trusted his fingers to remember.

The melody had indeed lost most of his tempo and the contrast between the notes, but when he once again looked up, Teddy's face was completely transformed. He looked…at peace.

"Again," Teddy whispered.

More confident this time, Christian played the modified version one more time.

"Play it again."

Unsure of what to do, Christian's eyes once again darted towards the single parked car in the lot. He had passed the test, hadn't he?

"Don't look at her, look at me!" Teddy's voice brought his attention back to his son. "Play it for me."

The voice was almost pleading and Christian gave in, but this time kept his eyes on the young man. The peaceful expression had once again been replaced by something else, the tension betrayed by quivering lips and the slight bulge of the moving jaw muscles. Teddy's arms had been hanging by his sides but now his fists clenched and the muscles in his bare forearms tensed.

The music ended and Christian slowly moved his fingers away from the keyboard, resting his hands in his lap.

"Thank you for coming," Teddy said through clenched teeth and then turned around and walked back to the car waiting for him, propelling Christian to his feet.

In just a few long strides Teddy had reached the car and disappeared behind the closed rear door.

"Drive, please," he told Dan

"But what about your keyboard?" Dan asked as surprised by the abrupt return of his son as by the scene they had witnessed.

"Please, just drive."

Besides him Belle had been crying since the first time Christian had played that slow song. Caught between his crying wife and his obviously distressed son Dan mechanically started the engine and backed off the parking space then turned the car towards the exit. The man standing in the middle of the entrance took a step to the side to let them pass.

He stopped to look for traffic and then reached out and stopped the engine and turned in his seat to look at Eddy.

"Eddy, can you tell me what happened out there?"

"He knows the song." Eddy said after a moment of blankly starring at Dan. "He wrote it for me. That's why I could not find it."

"The song? The one you have been playing all last week?"

His heart beat finally starting to slow down, Eddy took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"It's not last week. I think it's why I started playing the piano to begin with. When I first heard the piano notes at the music school, this is what I wanted to hear. I always wanted to find it, I just couldn't remember well enough to play it."

Dan's knowledge about music, at least classical music, was even less than Ana's so he was not sure he understood all of this, but if Eddy had been looking for something and now found it…He frowned: "Is this not a good thing then, that you have found what you were looking for?"

Ana didn't need to know about music to understand exactly what had been going on. That song, that melody, was all she had kept of Christian: a recording of him playing for his son, to play for Teddy at bedtime, on the days when Christian was not there to do it himself. Hearing the notes again after all these years had brought back vivid memories of the early days of her escape from Seattle: cheap motels and endless car rides and her baby boy not going to sleep unless she played him the song, over and over and over again. The silent tears became quiet sobs and it is from behind her trembling shoulders that Eddy explained to Dan: "He remembers me. He remembers being with me. All I have is this melody."

Dan bowed his head searching his mind and his soul. He knew this was now on him. He could take Eddy away; take both him and Belle away from the man still standing in front of the restaurant and close the door on this intrusion in their lives. Their talks over the past couple of weeks had made it abundantly clear that Eddy would follow his lead. He could just start the car again and take Eddy away from the hurt of having missed out on a childhood with his biological father. But the quiet sobs of his wife besides him were more than enough reminder that you can't run forever.

"I'm sorry that you don't remember more Eddy," he told his son. "But this is why you have come here today. Not to regain your memories, I don't know if that is possible, but to see if maybe you can forge new ones. You have questions and you wanted answers. I think you should go and do that, finish what you have started. Ask your questions, get your answers. Your mom and I will be here when you are ready to head back; we'll just drive around town a little. When you are ready call me and we'll come get you and we can head back home. I can drive you home now, but I don't think that's what you really want or need me to do." Dan finished his train of thought.

Eddy remained silent but some of the tension seemed to have left him. Dan patiently waited for his son to make up his mind. Eventually Eddy admitted: "I didn't expect him to remember."

"You didn't? Why ask him then?"

"I thought he would…fail and I could hold it against him and move on."

As Eddy looked down and Ana was wiping her tears, Dan once again encouraged his son: "This was never going to be easy, Eddy. And you do need to move on from where you are right now. Take the good part, that he remembered, and go from there. We'll be here when you need us."

After another long deep breath, Eddy finally nodded, opened the car door and climbed out. It was a longer stretch to walk this time and for the first few steps he kept his head low and his eyes down, still trying to shake the intense feelings of that first encounter, fighting to find some sort of centre, a neutral point from where to start again. When he arrived at the point where he needed to turn away from the parking lot and into the alley he raised his head just far enough to look at the chest of the man waiting for him.

It was perhaps fortunate that Eddy had not seen the sadness and dejection that had etched deep lines in Christian's face after his hasty departure. The last thing he needed was to be burdened with his parent's emotions. With each step bringing Teddy closer to him, the deep furrows on Christian's front, the hard lines besides his pursed lips, the squint of his eyes and the hollow of his cheeks eased a little, until his face once again could relax into the appearance of calm.

Eddy stopped in front of the abandoned keyboard then sighed and mover around the instrument and closer to Christian.

Still not quite looking at his biological father he stretched out his hand to him: "I'm Edward Parson."

"Christian Grey," Christian, replied mechanically and for the second time in two weeks shook his son's hand. This time he held the firm handshake and didn't let go until the young man looked up and they could seal the shake with a nod.

"I'm sorry for…before," Eddy said. "I didn't expect you to remember."

A cold trickle of sweat found his way down Christian's back in retrospective fear. He had been right, it had been a test.

"Would you like to go inside?" he asked

"It looks closed," Eddy noted using the casual remark as a brick in a wall against the threat of surging emotions.

"They don't normally open until five," Christian acknowledged, "it will be just us."

Eddy took a look around him before entering the restaurant for a conversation that would quite possibly change the rest of his life, and his eyes fell on the cars parked on the other side of the building, in an area not designed as a parking lot: the Porche SUV was still blocking the entrance from the street and a silver Mercedes GL SUV was parked just beside the building. He was now close enough to see two men sitting in each of the cars.

"Are they yours?" he asked hanging to one more moment of normalcy.

"Rentals. They will remain outside ensuring we are not disturbed," Christian said taking the lead up the stairs and to the front door.

The door opened and they entered what looked like a living room filled with several tables instead of the usual home furniture. The tables were empty and just one of them, tucked between a side window and the massive fireplace had a white tablecloth on it. The slightly eerie feeling of being the only occupants was dampened by the soft music playing in the background.

Eddy followed Christian's lead and sat at the single table that was covered, his chair facing outwards while Christian's was facing the empty room.

"Would you like something to drink? Or eat? " Christian said nodding at something behind Eddy.

A young man appeared by the side of the table apparently ready to take their order and Eddy could not shake the feeling of being trapped in some alternate universe. He was sitting at a table with Christian Grey who was offering to buy him coffee, and who, by an incredible twist of fate, turned out to be his father.

"Just coffee, thank you," he said trying to copy the easy self-assurance of his companion.

Maybe it was because he had to squint a little against the sunshine pouring through the window, or maybe it was because the face of the man seated across from him was for once not bathed in either stage lights or sun, but for the first time he could really see the resemblance, recognize his own traits in somebody else's face. He was however not prepared to give this much away, not yet anyway.

"You play very well," he said instead, remembering the long elegant fingers deftly moving over the keys of his old keyboard.

Christian had used the few seconds of neutral conversation to regain some of his balance, but Teddy's remark threw him back out of his element. They just knew so little about each other! Ana had written that she knew about his involvement in their lives so he gambled that Teddy also knew.

"Thank you. So do you."

Teddy's back stiffened to an upright position and Christian feared he had said the wrong thing, but then the young man relaxed and sunk a little in his chair.

"Mom said you arranged for that, for the music school I mean. She says you also paid for the language club and the Martial Arts Centre."

"I just created the opportunity, made the choice available."

Teddy seemed disappointed by his self-effacing answer so he once again gambled on the truth, or as close to it as he could get without once again overwhelming Teddy: "What happened earlier, outside: I don't expect you to acknowledge it or to act on it, but you are my son."

"But you also paid for Emma. Why would you do that?"

"Just because she is not my daughter, I couldn't just stand by and not help when I had the means to do so."

"No," Teddy shook his head to correct the misunderstanding: " I understand about Boston. Thank you for that, for helping with getting her into that treatment program. But you did more than that. Nick said you are funding the whole research program and it got me thinking: Emma's doctor didn't just happen to move to Charleston, did he?"

The waiter chose this moment to make his appearance with a tray with two porcelain coffee cups, glasses, coffee pot and two bottles of water. Wordlessly he placed the items on the table, filled their cups then retreated, living them to their private conversation.

"No he didn't," Christian admitted. "I asked him to move, in exchange for receiving the funding for his research."

"That must have been expensive."

Christian took a glance towards his coffee then raised his eyes again to his son's face. Teddy was skirting around whatever he really wanted to say and that left him having to guess what the young man actually wanted to hear from him. His previously short answers seemed to have fallen short off that expectation. His eyes on Teddy's face so he could judge his reaction, he kept his voice steady to explain: "I have more money that I will ever need. Emma is your sister. She is family."

Teddy met his searching stare with one of his own and finally seemed to address one of the elephants that had been crowding the room in this meeting: "You have a daughter. Does she not mind this? Me, Emma, the time and money you spend on us?"

Inexplicably Christian Grey's face softened at the question and once again Eddy felt slightly embarrassed that he didn't seem to be able to move away from his aggressive tone.

"Samantha," Christian nodded. "Sam knows about you and she knows you are important to me. And to answer your question, no she doesn't mind."

Eddy frowned: "She was at graduation."

"Yes, she was."

"And the others?"

The insecurity in Teddy's questions made it increasingly difficult for Christian to just sit in his chair and not reach out and hug his son in an embrace they possibly both needed. But he knew he couldn't do that. Perhaps one day, if this went well…For now his words had to be enough.

"My mother and my brother," he nodded. "They all know and care about you Teddy."

Caught in the moment the name had just slipped out of his mouth and he was about to apologize when, with a deep furrow creasing his front, Teddy murmured: "I saw a newspaper clip with my birth announcement. It said I was named after my grandfather and yours."

Fascinated, Eddy watched the face of the man seated across the table undergo a subtle transformation: the relaxed middle aged man slowly melted away to be replaced by a more determined expression, a more intense stare. The controlled and self-assured business man he had seen at his graduation ceremony had just entered the room and in this strange moment in his life he felt more at ease with this persona than with the casual guy that had greeted him on the porch half an hour ago.

"I apologize about the slip," Christian said, his voice firmer than it had been so far in this conversation. "It's true, that's who you were named for. Eddy, I am willing to tell you anything you want to know. But you have to ask me, give me an idea of what it is you want to know."

It was Eddy's turn to closely watch the face of the man across the table for a reaction to his words: "Mom said you never talked after she went to Montesano to grandpa Ray's house."

There it was: not formulated as a question but clearly his cue for where to start his story. Christian took a sip of the water in his glass and picked up his sunglasses from the table.

"There is a park across the street from here. Let's take a walk."

**AN: Next chapter: Christian's story (at least the part after Ana left for Montesano)**


	35. Summer Storm Ch35 A glimpse of the past

**AN: Finally I can share with you some of Christian's tale. I hope that it will answer at least some of your questions.**

**FSOG characters belong to E L James and this story has starts under similar premises as the ones in DCOliver's Never Look Back **

Ch 35 A glimpse into the past

Oblivious to the flurry of activity they were causing among Christian's security personnel, the two crossed the street to find themselves in the small park opposite the restaurant. Even from a distance though their pace was too brisk, their backs too straight and the expressions on their faces too serious for them to be just two more people taking a stroll through the park.

Christian started speaking without looking at Teddy: "There is no way for me to do this without involving other people, some of which you might come to see in a different light than before."

"My mom and grandpa Ray," Eddy acknowledged also keeping his eyes on the path of fine gravel stretching ahead of them.

Christian frowned and paused, but then decided to just ask: "Do you know why she was upset with me?"

"She said she saw you with somebody else."

"Yes. I will not go into those details but you probably need to know that judging by what she saw she would have had reason to believe it was more than a one off occurrence."

After a brief moment and a few steps taken in silence Christian began his tale:

"I had flown out to Japan that morning for a week long business trip around Far East Asia. It's a ten hours flight during which I have access to internet but not my mobile phone. As soon as I landed in Tokyo I was alerted to several text messages. One of them was from your mother advising me that we needed to talk. I called her immediately but her father answered her phone. He confirmed that she was in Montesano –which was also planned - and told me that she was upstairs with you. I asked him to let her know I have called and immediately went to my first meeting. I called again between that meeting and lunch and Ray told me she was still upstairs, that she had fallen asleep. It would have been almost dinner time in Montesano and I thought she would wake up for dinner so I called her again another couple of hours later. Again it was her father who answered and this time he informed me that she was still asleep but that she was beyond upset with me, that she was as angry as he had ever seen her and that she needed some space, some time to calm down. He didn't explain why she was upset, but of course I had an idea…

Because of who I am, of my high profile especially in Seattle, we all had a security detail with us at all time. Your mother has never been comfortable with that arrangement and when Ray told me she felt oppressed by the men parked outside his house and assured me he could protect her and that he would call should anything seem suspicious I, in a gesture of good will, foolishly agreed to withdraw security and ordered the men back to Seattle.

By now it was night in Montesano. I planned to speak with her in the morning and explain the video she had seen. Ray beat me to it: he called me instead and told me he was taking the two of you on the lake for a day out. Reminded me that she and I could both be hot headed and it might be better to wait to talk to her when she had calmed down a little. It was almost twenty four hours since I had last spoken with her and I started to get worried, beyond worried, because of her silence. So I cancelled my trip and asked for the plane to get ready for the flight back. Once flight plans were confirmed I called to let her know I am on my way back. No one answered the phone this time but if they were at the lake the reception would have been quite bad so I sent her a message she would see when she was back in town.

I didn't make it back to Seattle until close to midnight local time. The only message I had was from Ray with a message from her that she was not ready to speak with me and to give her some time and space. He also added he will come to see me first thing in the morning to see what we could do about her refusing to talk to me.

I did consider just driving to Montesano that night but…Ana and I had been at odds with each other over the past six months, mostly about how we envisaged our immediate future as a couple. I can be, and probably often am, quite determined in pursuing what I want and it has been pointed out to me I can be very high handed in my interactions with other people. Some recent events, not related to Ana, had forced me to consider just how my attitude and natural inclination to dominate a situation, to take control, could negatively affect those close to me. So I agreed to wait until I have spoken with Ray.

I will probably never know if it was just coincidence or if somehow Ray was aware of my dilemma but what he had to say was very much in line with my recent misgivings. He reminded me that everything in my world was still quite new to his daughter and she was neither used to it nor comfortable with it. That she struggled to find her place in that world of immense wealth and fame and that beyond the upsetting scene she had seen, she needed time to figure out what she wanted for herself. She was due to stay in Montesano for another five days, the duration of my trip to the Far East, so I agreed to give her that time. I did however write her a letter. Only a few lines really, explaining that I understood her need for space and that I would be in Seattle and waiting for her to contact me or to return home and then we could talk about her and about what had happened in the apartment, the encounter she had seen on tape.

Two days later I had just returned from the office when Ray came to see me. At first he was quite angry and upset on Ana's behalf. He told me she was sad and confused, uncertain and afraid to come back, afraid to talk to me before she had made up her own mind because I had this tendency to always convince her to do what I wanted. He insisted that she needed more time without a countdown hanging over her, that she didn't even feel up to going back to work. He seemed to feel genuinely sorry for the two of us and concerned about his daughter and asked me to help by taking the pressure of having to go back to work off her. I made the arrangements with her PA there and then and agreed that Ray could take the two of you for a few days to the fishing cabin.

Early the following week Ray called to let me know they had returned to Montesano, that Ana seemed calmer, more centred but that she had not mentioned coming back to Seattle and that he will keep me updated. I wrote to her again, this time asking her to give me a chance to explain, to give us a chance to talk things through, via post or email if not face to face.

Ray kept calling me every day, mostly when Ana was otherwise occupied as it would have upset her to know he was talking to me. I insisted that I had to speak with her but he warned me that my showing up in Montesano against her wishes could have the opposite effect to what I intended, so instead of going I wrote to her again, this time with an explanation of what she had seen and some thoughts around our previous disagreements.

Three days later Ray called me, very determined. I was to give Ana space and stop sending her letters. He accused me of going back on my promise to give her space. In a way he was correct but I protested that it had been two and a half weeks already. We reached a compromise: I would give Ana another week but then either she was ready to come back to Seattle or I would go to Montesano."

So far Christian had managed to keep the anguish out of his voice and had spared Teddy the tale of his own emotional turmoil during those weeks. From the sleepless nights the first few days leading to the exhaustion that, he had only understood much later, had further fuelled his anxiety and self-doubt. Those lonely nights at the piano, so painfully reminiscent of his life before Ana and of their first few nights together, of how weary she had been of him and his lifestyle and yet gave herself to him. What had happened between Marlene and that particular Dom was also weighing heavily on him. It had been a vivid reminder of his dealings with Elena Lincoln: another outstanding member of society on the outside, but, in the privacy of her secret den, brutal and twisting a relationship that should have been based on trust into nothing more than abuse.

Late at night and full of self-doubt he had slowly started to have trouble separating the way he would coach a new sub - sometimes subtly and gently, sometimes more openly and determined - into doing new things, reaching new limits, and his behaviour in his life with Ana. The fear that he had not changed after all, that he had simply changed tactics, adapted, had ignited and was fuelled by Ray's reminders of how uneasy Ana was with her current life. To extinguish that fire, when the burn had become intolerable he had started to drink. Never in the day, but the evenings were a different story: anything to be able to go to sleep, to not find himself haunting the vast apartment and end up at the piano. Teddy didn't need to know all that.

Christian raised his gaze from the gravel path and let it roam over their surroundings until it landed on a bench. Stepping off the path he sat on the wooden surface and waited for Teddy to sit beside him. Leaning slightly forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands interlocked, he kept his head up and his eyes on the trees and the road just barely visible beyond the green barrier.

"The last time I saw or spoke with Ray was the day before that final dead line. He called to ask if I could meet him at the apartment as 'some things could not be told over the phone'. I already knew what he had to say. There was no other logical conclusion to you mother's silence for so many days. Ana had asked him to bring me divorce papers. She didn't ask for anything material in the divorce, although she could have. All she asked for was for you to live with her and in exchange offered shared custody and unlimited visitation rights. She did however file for a temporary order. Do you know what that is?"

"Yes, an interim decision until the divorce is finalised," Eddy answered mechanically, succinctly, the interruption to the story he was absorbing with all his senses feeling almost blasphemous.

Christian nodded: "The terms were the same as for the divorce. I took my time reading the terms and as I was processing them and their implications Ray explained why Ana had felt the need for the temporary order: that she was afraid I will contest the divorce or the terms. Ray informed me that he was aware of certain events from my past which, had they been made public, would have had serious consequences not only for me and my business but also for the rest of my family and for your mother. He made it clear that while Ana would probably not use that information against me, he himself had no such inhibitions. If I contested the divorce in any way, if I tried to approach Ana and change her mind, he was determined to made the information public, and use the backlash to ensure I would lose custody of you. He made it clear that his daughter wanted out of the marriage and he would fight for that, dirty if he had to. I don't respond very well to being threatened so I was considering just calling him on that, and taking the consequences should he ever execute his threat, when he changed tactics. He pointed out that the terms were for shared custody and unlimited access. I could see you any time I wanted and maybe also see Ana, maybe in time rebuild a relationship, taking it slower this time, giving her more time to adjust."

Straightening up, Christian turned his head and his body to face his son: "This is what I signed. I gave her up, gave her back her freedom, but never gave up on you, never gave you up. In the following month, waiting for the temporary order to be passed, I started to prepare for a life after the divorce: rearranging my work schedule so I could see you, planning for the apartment to be modified, redesigned to be fit for your visits and hopefully sometimes staying over, making new security arrangements for your mother and the house I assumed she would be returning to…"

He paused his tale. Again there was no need to discuss how he had stopped drinking, how GEH had become almost a second thought and instead he had focused on finding a new way to work on himself and his own issues. John Flynn had become too much of a friend. He needed a new therapist, he needed to start again…

"The 2nd of December I was at the apartment, in my office. One of the security men brought an envelope Ray had left at reception. The temporary order had been issued. The envelope also contained the letters I had written to your mother, unopened, and a note from Ray to let me know he was taking you and Ana away. I started looking for you that same day, but it was too late. I didn't know it then, but Ray had had two months to prepare your departure and he had used the time well. I'm sorry, Eddy, I know Ray was your grandfather and that you were close to him, but the truth is that he has engineered the silence between your mother and I and has organized your name change and your departure from Seattle. He has never given my letters to your mother, he has convinced me to not contact her and he has prevented other members of the family, my parents specifically, from contacting her. I have, after many years, arrived at the conclusion that it was not your mother that was afraid I would keep her or you against her will; it was Ray who harboured that fear. Your mother was his only child and he was very protective of her. As a father I can understand that, but he has grossly overstepped his prerogative when he has interfered in our marriage in such a radical way."

There was no mistaking the harsh note in Christian's voice at the end of that last sentence and Eddy had to look away for a moment and wait for his heart to stop hammering against his chest. He had suspected as much, his mother's much shorter version had implied the same thing. Grandpa Ray had played a major role in taking him away from his father, from the rest of his family, and has been part of fabricating the cover story they had fed him all his life.

"I'm sorry if I said too much." Christian's voice reached his ears as if from a great distance. Still distracted he turned his head and witnessed Christian raking the fingers of his right hand through his hair in a gesture so similar to his own that for a moment he felt he was looking into one of those funny mirrors at a fair, the ones that show you a modified image of yourself.

"Mom said you found us years ago. The piano school…I was five when I started."

"I did. I found you just before your fifth birthday."

For a moment the gray eyes were full of such sadness, Eddy was ashamed he had ever doubted this man's desire to see him, but then the moment passed and a gentler stare met his gaze: "When I first found you, I took some time to put measures in place to ensure you would not disappear again. I knew Ana had remarried but knowing something intellectually and actually seeing it are two different things. I came to Rock Hill the day before your birthday. Ana was sitting on the porch and I stayed in the car for a moment to collect my thoughts, to one more time go through what I was going to say to her. A dark haired boy came running down the street and almost crashed into her. She laughed and stood up to look down the street. Dan was holding you by one hand and you were gesticulating widely with the other. I looked back at Ana and she had come to wait for you on the sidewalk. From the profile it was obvious that she was pregnant. Not only she was married, she had a family. You had a family. I had taken some advice on what to expect before I came to Rock Hill and I had been warned that you might not remember me, especially with another male figure in your life. Then there was the other aspect of me coming back into your lives: the notoriety, the need for security. It was unlikely that it wouldn't become known that you were my son and become a target for media attention and possibly worse. The need for security, for protection, not only for you but also for your siblings and your parents...You will have to trust me when I tell you that that aspect of my life can be beyond intrusive and limiting. The disruption to your life, all of your lives, would have gone far beyond no longer being able to take a carefree walk down the street. I didn't make a decision there and then or even overnight. I returned to Seattle and considered various options and the implications each of them would have on your life. In the end I became convinced that you would be better off not knowing about me, living your life with your family. So I stepped back, kept myself in the background. I could never just let go of you, but I limited myself to watching you from a distance, providing whatever opportunities or help I could when it was required."

Eddy heard the words and had to reluctantly admit some of it did make sense, at least intellectually. Sorting through his feelings would take some time. He had learned a lot and there was much more he wanted to know, many more questions he wanted to ask, but for now his mind already felt overfull.

"Would you like to go back inside? We never drank the coffee..." Christian's voice again interrupted his thoughts.

Still a little distracted, he ran his fingers through his hair: "No, I…Thank you for telling me all this. I know you have come a long way to meet with me today."

"But it was a lot to take in?" Christian completed his sentence.

Eddy raised his eyes to meet Christian's gray ones, this time without the defiance and anger that had been there before, in a look that acknowledged that they did have a shared history, a common past. Responding to the tentative bond, Christian's face softened and his eyes glistened with the knowledge that they had come so far, but also with a hint of sadness knowing that their meeting was drawing to an end. Teddy had obviously heard enough for one day. "How do you get back?" he asked.

"Dad will pick me up." Eddy said the words without thinking them through then felt the heat rise in his neck above the collar of his t-shirt.

"It's OK, Eddy, I know Dan is your dad." Christian acknowledged, managing to keep the sadness from his voice and only a hint of it making it to his eyes, deepening the light gray colour to something closer to a cloudy sky.

Eddy retrieved his phone and quickly texted Dan: **Ready.**

When he placed his phone back in his pocket, Christian asked: "Shall we walk back?"

The two walked the short distance back to the restaurant in silence and by unspoken agreement sat on the shadowed veranda to wait for Dan and Ana.

"Here," Christian said picking up his wallet and extracting a business card for Teddy. "This is my cell phone number and the direct number to my personal assistant. Please call anytime you want to."

Taking the card, Eddy was again reminded of just who the man sat beside him was, beyond their family connection.

"You must be busy; I wouldn't want to disturb you."

Remembering how he almost couldn't make this meeting, Christian nodded: "I am, and sometimes I might be out of the country or tied up somewhere, but you are always a priority. Please don't hesitate to use the card, to contact me, for anything, any time. It doesn't have to be important."

Eddy looked at the card with the GEH logo on one corner and the name imprinted in bold letters **CHRISTIAN GREY, **the fact that there was no title below the name a statement in itself. He shook his head in wonder: "I know of quite a few people who would do almost anything to get this."

Christian's tale and his explanation about how their connection might make him a target suddenly acquired more substance, more weight: being Christian Grey's son had implications he had not yet fully understood.

"Thank you," he said, hopping his tone would convey the fact that he appreciated the gesture, as his parents' car entered the parking lot.

His eyes drawn to the movement to his left, Christian only nodded as both he and Teddy stood up.

"I meant that," Eddy said. "Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me that you did and everything you have told me."

"This meeting means a lot to me too. I understand that the things you have learned in the last couple of weeks are a lot to take in and I am grateful for this chance to meet you and to talk to you."

As they once again shook hands Christian could not help a glance towards the business card still in Teddy's hand.

Despite knowing he should offer more; that the man in front of him hoped for more, all Eddy could offer while picking up his abandoned keyboard was a tame: "I'll call."

Unwilling to say goodbye, Christian once again nodded and watched Teddy walk away and get into the car. His eyes briefly met Ana's but he quickly looked away. Throughout the past couple of hours the realization of just how much had been lost between him and Teddy and between him and Ana had slowly wormed it's way though him and the rage and hurt from those early days when he had first seen her pregnant with another man's child and Teddy walking with another man as his father were now filling him like the waters of a rising tide. The years of watching them from a distance, offering what help and protection he could, limiting the information he received on them to only major events in their lives, and his visits to a few times a year, had been nothing more than a coping mechanism, he knew that. It had been carefully designed and put in place to help him cope with the very same feelings that were now rising to the surface again and threatening to engulf him in a rage he had not felt for many years.

He turned away and headed to the Mercedes SUV waiting for him, the security guard opening the door in time for him to be able to climb into the vehicle without really breaking his stride.

"Airport." He ordered. "Tell Fitzpatrick to file a flight plan to New York." There was no way he could face a six hours flight to Seattle in his current state of mind, or let Samantha see him this unsettled. As soon as he finished speaking he took out his phone to message his New York personal trainer. **'Session at the apartment 4pm'**.

With that he leaned back in his chair and proceeded to let the scenery pass him by, trying to empty his head and keep his breathing steady, using the exercises had had learned from Renner and others before him. He had four hours to go before he could unleash some of the pent up tension on his trainer.

**AN Next chapter what Teddy made of the meeting and Ana's version of the same period of time**


	36. Summer Storm Ch36 The tide is turning

**AN: The poem mentioned in this chapter is Meditation by Paul Geraldy. If any of you speak French, the man is an absolute genius when it comes to describing relationships. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to be translated in English...**

Ch 36 The tide is turning

"Ready to go?" Dan asked once Eddy had finished shoving his equipment in the back seat and closed the door behind him.

"Yeah, I am," Eddy replied.

From the corner of his eye he could still see the restaurant entrance, but this time there was no lonely male figure standing there. He found himself hoping that his father had also got something out of their meeting and the word 'father' came somewhat more easily.

"Thanks dad, for sending me back earlier."

Ana turned slightly in her chair and Dan shot him a glance through the rear view mirror.

"Did it go well then?" Dan asked.

"We talked. He talked mostly. There was a lot to tell, a lot to think about. Did you get to see what you wanted?" he replied moving the subject of conversation away from himself.

Dan told him about the new potential location for the car dealership and skipped over the conversation he had had with Belle. He now had a much better understanding of the significance of those first few moments between his son and Grey, a better grasp on just how important that moment had been for his son and how revealing of Grey's attachment to him. He remembered Belle's tablet, it had been such an oddity for her to have one while she and Ray seemed to have very little extra cash to spend on anything beyond the daily necessities. It was Eddy that had broken the device while playing with it, just before him and Belle moved from a casual acquaintance to a closer relationship. As Dan himself became more than just Eddy's friend's dad, the only connection he had to his other father had broken and began to fade into the past.

It was still early afternoon when they reached Rock Hill and Emma's car was not in front of the house, where they had expected to find it.

A quick phone call cleared that little drama up: she had just lost track of time chatting with friends in town and was on her way home. With her now being on summer leave they were going to have to discuss her schedule with her and reinforce the fact that she had to let them know about her plans. Other than that Eddy played his song a couple of times and then there was only quiet coming from upstairs.

Later in the evening Ana was about to go and tell him that dinner was ready when he appeared at the top of the stairs. He had changed his t-shirt but his tousled hair and the marks on his face provided an explanation for the silence: he had been sleeping and looked more rested and relaxed than she had seen him in days. He did tense up and seemed to choose his words at dinner when Emma asked about his meeting and eventually told her the same thing he had told Dan, that he had talked to Christian and 'it's gonna be OK, Em. How was your day?'

As for Ana, she noticed him occasionally looking at her, but never directly: either when he thought she wouldn't notice, or just avoiding meeting her eyes. Still, the tension that had been there before seemed to have dissipated some.

Just before going upstairs for the night, he saw him sitting at the table in the back yard.

"Eddy!" she called.

This time he did look at her and met her eyes and the depth of his stare stopped her next words in her throat. He slowly shook his head at her: "Good night mom."

"Night Eddy," she once again found herself accepting his desire to keep his distance, but vowed it would only be for today. It was late and the meeting with Christian had obviously taken its toll on him, but it was high time she made a more determined effort to reach her son and clear the air between them.

When Dan in his turn switched off the TV and prepared to call it a day he also noticed Eddy was still outside. Since he had made the decision in the car to push Eddy into talking with his biological father he felt somehow better about the whole situation. For once in the past six weeks or so, that had been his decision, not a reaction to somebody else's actions or an acceptance after the fact of someone else's interference in his life and the life of his family. It had returned a sense of purpose, re-affirmed his role as the father who had raised Eddy and whom Eddy trusted and relied on. Bolstered by his raising confidence he stepped outside and took a seat across the table from his son.

"Can't sleep?"

The gaze that met his was different from what he had seen there in the past couple of weeks: the sulking teenager was nowhere to be found and in his place there was a preoccupied young man.

"How did it really go today, Eddy? You seemed OK earlier, but I can see you are getting preoccupied again."

"It really went well. I…he was different than he was at graduation, more down to earth, more approachable. He told me quite a lot about that time after mom went to stay with Grandpa Ray." Eddy frowned: "There are a few things he wouldn't talk about, some he wouldn't fully explain."

"Is that what's on your mind?"

"Partly but mostly…" Eddy raised his hand to his head and then lowered it and examined it for a moment. "There is this French poem, I never found a good translation of it, but it's about love and how we start loving because we see in somebody's eyes that there is a chance, a possibility."

Ignoring the missed heartbeat in his chest, Dan asked: "Are you talking about him or you?"

"Both I think."

Dan patiently waited for his son to make his point.

"He said he doesn't expect me to acknowledge the fact that he is my father, but I know he would like me to, that he hopes I will call."

When Eddy again felt silent Dan sighed: "Eddy, your mother has bottled up her feelings and has run from them for half her life. Don't make the same mistake."

"I don't even know him, not really. All I know about him is mostly his public image. His world is so different, so far removed from ours…"

"So get to know him. I heard you at your graduation lunch, how taken you were with him. Perhaps you are going at this the wrong way. First you wanted to meet him for what he has achieved and now you are trying to see if he would fit with the image you have of a biological parent you have never met. Why don't you try to put all of that aside. Just get to know the man, see if you like him for who he is, as a person, not for what he is: rich, smart or your father. See if anything comes out of it and take it from there."

"That sounds almost like dating advice."

"In a way it is," Dan nodded. "You can't force a relationship just because you want it to be a certain way. All you can do is spend some time together and see where it goes."

"You keep pushing me to do that, to meet him and get to know him. I would have walked away today if it weren't for you."

"You weren't walking away, Eddy, you were running. What your mom and Ray did was not right by either you or him. They might have had their reasons and your mother is quite devastated since she realized how wrong that decision was, but now that the truth has caught up with all of us I can't see a way forward without first clearing the air, getting to grips with the past. Only then can you make a decision about the future."

"Speaking of the past," Eddy brought up the other issue that was troubling him," it sounded like grandpa had quite a lot to do with why mom got divorced in the first place. Did you know about that?"

"I only found out about six weeks ago, but it does seem to fit with everything else I have found out since then."

"The way he tells it, grandpa has fed him a lot of wrong information, has manipulated him into not contacting mom."

"I'm sorry to say this Eddy, but it's probably true. Ray has done much the same to me."

"What do you mean?"

"When I met your mom and started to get closer, he probably guessed that at some point I was going to ask about your father. He told me that you were both in the witness protection programme, that your mom was not supposed to speak of her past and it would be dangerous for both of you to do so. He established a kind of bond by telling me that he breached the rules of the programme because he trusted me and needed me to protect both of you in case anything unusual happened. He told me Katherine was an undercover agent, playing the role of an old time friend so she could keep an eye on your mother and you. I only now realize it was so I wouldn't wonder why they never talked about your mom's past."

"That's one of the things: the name change. When I realized mom had a different name I looked into that. It is possible to change your name, but it's not easy and it leaves a trace. And for a child you would need both parents' permission."

"That was again Ray's doing. He was not lying about the Witness Protection, just about the reasons why you were in that programme."

"We were under witness protection for real? I don't understand, it takes something really major for people to be entered into that programme."

"Ray seems to have used one of his old friends to use the facilities offered by the programme to create new identities for the two of you, without actually entering you into the programme."

"Dad, I'm pretty sure that abusing the system in this way would come under some sort of federal law, not to mention it meant both he and his friend were aiding and abetting in the kidnapping of a child, which is a federal offense."

"You figured that out, then?"

"Yes. It's one of the reasons that I had so much trouble believing mom's story. For her and Ray to do that, take me away like they did and risk prison, there has to be more to the story of what happened."

"I wish I could answer that Eddy, but I don't know, not that I don't agree with you. When I found out what Belle and Ray did and pointed out that she had kidnapped you, she was surprised, shocked. I think she really believed whatever story Ray had fed her that convinced her Christian didn't care. She seemed to have agreed to the move and the name change mostly to just get away and have a chance at building a new life. The discoveries we have made in the past few weeks were as much news for her as for the rest of us. She has only known the truth for less than a month before your graduation."

"Is that why she is sleeping upstairs? Grey never wanted to divorce her, if she didn't want to divorce him either…"

Dan sighed: "Just because two people don't want to divorce it doesn't mean their marriage works. They had some trouble before and, as you pointed out, there was something else perhaps lurking in the background. It's more that she trusted Ray and Kate and they betrayed her trust and lied to her for years. I think you can relate to how that would feel. Her life since then, all the choices and the decisions she has made have been based on that lie. And of course she feels very guilty about you and Christian and the rest of his family."

A moment of silence followed Dan's words, not separating the father and son, but rather connecting them in the knowledge that they were all caught up in the consequences of truths revealed after so many years of silence.

"Thanks dad. If you are sure you don't mind I think I would like to meet him again. Get to know him."

xXx

When Ana arrived home from work Monday evening, Eddy's car was already there. By the way her heart immediately started hammering against her chest she knew she was as weary as the rest of the family of more unexpected surprises in their lives. Arms full of groceries she entered the short corridor connecting the garage to the family room and took the few steps that led to the familiar open space on her way to the kitchen.

As two overfull grocery bags slowly made their way towards him, completely covering the upper half of the person carrying them, Eddy stood up from the couch.

"Hi mom, let me." He said and picked first one then the other bag, revealing the slightly flustered face of his mother.

"Eddy, you're home early. Did…is everything all right?"

Already halfway through the room Eddy nodded: "Yeah, fine. I came home early."

As first he then his mother entered the kitchen, he deposited both bags on the kitchen counter and turned to face her: "Actually I was hoping to catch you alone. Can we sit down for a moment?"

"Eddy, yes, of course." Ana said her face softening into a tender smile.

She took the three steps to the nearest chair and sat down while pulling out the chair besides her for her son.

"I have called," Eddy held his breath for a heartbeat then acknowledged: "Christian, today. I'll meet with him again Saturday."

Cursing the tears she could feel gathering, at first all she could do was nod. "I am happy you are doing this Eddy, I'm happy you want to meet him."

"I don't know where this will be going, mom," Eddy warned.

She understood the warning in his words and that heavy weight that had been lying on her chest for several weeks now made its presence known, but she pushed past it: "I understand. I am still happy that you are giving him a chance."

"Mom, yesterday, when he talked to me, he told me some things and perhaps I understand a little better that whole 'we never talked to each other' part. But at some point first you then him have made a decision that I would be better off not having him in my life. You said you were afraid he would take me from you and…Did you know Grandpa threatened him?"

"I only got an indication that he might have done that a few weeks ago."

"The thing is, before I take this relationship any further, I think I need to know about that. Yesterday he was…forthcoming, for the most part. But he was also holding back on something and not only in his words. At graduation he was this larger than life figure, all powerful and commanding and self-assured, as if he owned that room and everybody in it and he was not making any excuses about it. Yesterday, there was a glimpse of that perhaps, but for the most part he was like a different person."

The similarities between Eddy's first impressions of Christian and her own suddenly hit Ana. Her first meeting with that enigmatic, extremely successful, domineering personality, then the casual customer enquiring about DIY supplies in the store…The way Christian could switch between those two personas in the blink of an eye still making her slightly dizzy…She shook her head:

"He is both, Eddy. I realize this can be unsettling when you are just starting to know somebody, but perhaps you can think of how you change your own behaviour depending on where you are and who you are with. With Christian, it's just that the difference between his public image and his private one is a little bigger and he does have a tendency to switch between the two with very little warning," she admitted. With a smile she hoped was reassuring Ana added: "Perhaps he wanted you to see him as just a person and not the whole business man package he usually presents to others."

"But there is something that made you run, something that made Grandpa threaten him."

Dan had never insisted on that part of her story, but Eddy didn't sound as he was about to back off and she had had ample warning that the contact he had established with Christian was fragile at best. If she dodged the question that might just break the tenuous thread. On the other hand that was the one part she could never discuss with anybody else, let alone their son. She sighed:

"Ray had seen something that made him question whether Christian was treating me badly. He never did and what Ray saw was just something very private. Nothing illegal, but Christian is an extremely influential figure especially in Seattle and his parents were prominent and respected members of the Seattle society even before he became rich and famous. People, the public at large, have a tendency to be jealous and judgemental. Reputations have been ruined for less and in his line of work, at that level, reputation counts as much as in politics."

Eddy heard and tried to truly listen to his mother's words. 'Something very private' enough to ruin a reputation but not illegal left him with a few options: sex, drinking, perhaps gambling. Thinking of the man he had seen at graduation options two and three seemed highly unlikely. Would they have been more likely twenty years ago?

"Did Grandpa never ask you about it, about what he saw?"

"No. Unfortunately he was given an explanation by somebody else and…"

Eddy tilted his head and pursed his lips at her attempt to remain vague. Breaking eye contact she bowed her head and closed her eyes then took a deep breath: her son and Christian had to come first.

"It was Kate. She knew the whole story, from me. She and Christian never liked each other and she was afraid that I would call her out on breaching my confidence so she gave dad a distorted version of the truth. I didn't know about that until last month."

"Kate?" Eddy frowned remembering his dad's words about his mother being betrayed and lied to by Kate for years. He had assumed it was because Aunt Kate must have known Christian had found them but now… "Mom, what happened back then? With what both you and him have told me I can maybe understand the divorce and perhaps that is not my business anyway, but why did you take me away? You offered him shared custody, why did you change your mind? Why did you run?" he repeated his initial question.

"I told you how quickly we got married. You are old enough to understand some things. He was twenty-eight, beyond rich and extremely good looking. You can imagine that he could have had almost any woman he wanted. I was…nobody, nothing special and the truth is that I never understood just what made him choose me. I was always afraid I was not going to be enough for him, that I was not going to be what he needed from a partner. I was uncomfortable with the fame and the money, I was still struggling to find my own place in that world and we had arrived at a point where we had different views on the immediate future of our life together. When I saw him with somebody else, combined with his silence and the silence of his family afterwards, I came to accept that he had finally realized I was not who he needed.

We didn't have a prenup. I thought that part of the silent treatment was because they were all tightening ranks, preparing for a fight over his fortune. So I send him divorce papers making it clear that I was not going to claim any part of that. But the silence continued, or so I thought at the time. I was getting angry, not as much for my own sake, but for yours, angry that they could just ignore you like this, both Christian and his parents. I didn't try to call them, but I did send them text messages and emails which all remained unanswered. About a week after sending him the divorce papers I was so angry I wanted to go to Seattle and confront them so I asked Ray to take care of you for the day. He," she had to swallow back the tears filling her eyes at the thought of how far her own father's betrayal of her trust had gone. "Dad told me it was not a good idea. He told me that I should at least wait until the temporary order…Do you know about that?"

Eddy just nodded.

"…Until the order was clear, so I could be sure that I got to keep you. He reminded me of how powerful and influential the Greys were and that if I appeared to go on the war path with them they might get scared I would fight them on other things, like the money and custody. I shouldn't have listened, I probably wouldn't have, had it not been for all the messages that remained unanswered. Even so I might still have gone, until he reminded me that they, Christian and the Greys, should want to see you, be part of your life, because they loved you, not out of a sense of guilt or duty."

Retelling this part of her story was harder than anything she had told him before so she waited a moment for her breathing to slow down and the lump in her throat to ease a little.

"That was the first of many discussions I had with dad over the following two weeks. I gradually came to only see two alternatives. If I returned to Seattle with you and at some point Christian decided that I was not only not the right wife for him but that he didn't want me to raise his son, that he wanted more control over you and your life, he would use his power and influence to take you away from me. The other one was worse: Ray asked me to contemplate a future where they would continue to ignore my existence and yours. As prominent as they were, especially in Seattle, it was unavoidable that you would see or hear about them. What was I going to tell you: yes he is your father but he doesn't want to have anything to do with you? If I agreed to go away, to take you and start a new life, at least that rejection would not be thrown in your face on a daily basis."

Ana once again broke eye contact with her son to look down and let her head hang.

"You used the right word, Eddy. I didn't as much leave as I ran. Contemplating a future in Seattle had become too painful. I just couldn't see any other way out. Ray started to push me to make a decision: return to Seattle and take my chances or leave with you and him and start fresh somewhere else. I wrote to Christian a few days before we left to tell him that I was not going to return to Seattle, that I intended to move somewhere else and take you with me. With what I know now, I suspect dad never posted that letter, but at the time it was just another 'proof' that he didn't care."

She had had a few weeks to think over those last few weeks in Montesano and how deeply hurt and uncertain she had felt, how she saw Ray as the only person she could rely on, the only person she had ever been able to rely on, and how grief and fear had clouded her judgment and she had taken the easy way out.

"A few months later, we were already here in Rock Hill. With the change of place and some time to think, I was starting to question my decision. I was just living from one day to another really and dad was also getting worried that I didn't seem to get any…better, any happier. Your first birthday after we left was a particularly difficult day. So Ray agreed to contact Kate. She had had her baby less than three months before and she could not travel yet, but they made plans for her to come the following month. On that first trip she brought Ava with her. We lived in an apartment Ray, you and me and I went to put you down for a nap and check on the baby who was sleeping. When I came out of the bedroom, Ray was talking to Kate about me, telling her I am putting a brave face on but that most of the time I was just sad and quiet. He told her that maybe it had been the wrong thing to do for him to take me away like that and asked her what was going on in Seattle.

Kate told him Christian had also left Seattle for a few months after our departure. He didn't return until March and now he had remarried. His new wife was heavily pregnant; they were expecting a baby before the end of the summer. I entered the kitchen and they both fell silent. I never told them I overheard their conversation but that is when I really made the decision to move on and start a new life."

"That is what I knew then, how I felt then and for all the years until now. But in all of that, the only fact that remains true is Christian's second marriage and the birth of his daughter. Even his marriage, I think something is not as it seemed then. I thought he had left town to be with her, with the other woman, but now I have reason to believe that was not true. I think there is a possibility he only got married because of the baby, that he did 'the right thing'. I know they divorced after a few months. With what I know now, I think that most of what I have told you applies to him as well. He had no idea I wanted to contact him. He must have thought I was the one who refused to talk to him or his family. For years I thought he had just moved on with somebody else, but the truth is that he has never stopped looking for us, for you."

The bang of the front door and Emma's loud 'I'm home' startled both of them and caused them to turn their heads towards the kitchen door. To their surprise Dan was standing there looking at them, his much more discreet entrance having gone unnoticed. With family life about to take over Ana feared her moment with Eddy will once again get lost so she turned back towards him and called for his attention:

"Eddy, I didn't tell you all of this to make excuses for my actions, but you were getting the wrong idea and that is what started all of this. Please don't let my weakness and foolishness and hurt feelings get in the way anymore. I heard you when you said you don't know where the relationship will go, but give yourself a chance to learn to know Christian and maybe his family before you make a decision."

Eddy looked at his mother for a moment, his mind still trying to process the image of these two people, his parents, living in parallel universes separated by a curtain of smoke and shadows and by a wall of silence neither of them had had the courage to break. He turned his head to Dan, now standing with his arm around Emma's shoulders, stopping their personal whirlwind from entering the kitchen and interrupting the conversation, and it dawned on him that his parents, all three of them, didn't have the answers. They were just as lost in this confusing world as he was.

Still for now at least part of his family was here and their presence was familiar and comforting and welcome. He let a smile light his face and looked directly at his sister:

"Hya squirt!"

"Don't call me squirt!" Emma untangled herself from under her father's arm and stepped into the kitchen to playfully punch his arm.

**AN Next chapter Teddy and Christian's second meeting - Part 1.**


	37. Summer Storm Ch37 Building Bridges P1

**AN: So, second meeting part one. Sorry for having to split this in two again but there are only so many hours in the day and real life demands also have to be dealt with. **

Ch 37 Building bridges (The tiger and his cub) PART ONE

The following day Eddy was eating lunch at his desk, doing some research when his phone beeped with a text from Christian: '**Would you like to go sailing Saturday?'**

He starred at the words for a few seconds. He had never contemplated that particular question before.

'**I don't have any experience of sailing but yes I would like to go.'**

'**An acquaintance has a catamaran in Charleston. Weather is supposed to be sunny but we will not have the best wind for sailing until after 2pm. We could power out and then sail back.'**

Again Eddy starred at the message for a few seconds. If the man was a sailor he would check the weather before he planned on going out sailing. Still, the brief message hinted heavily at the effort Christian had been putting in organizing this meeting in less than a day.

'**That sounds great. When should I be there?'**

'**If you can make it 11.00 at James Island Yacht Club. It is a member's only club but you will be expected.'**

'**I will make it. Thank you for coming over. I am looking forward to it.'**

His previous research abandoned for the moment, Eddy started looking up whatever he needed to know about his first sailing experience. By the time Saturday morning arrived he had acquired a pair of shoes suitable for a boat deck and arranged with Nick to spend the night and the following morning in Charleston. Beyond that most of the information had proven just too much to sort through for the complete novice that he was. Besides he had had something else to worry about.

When he told his parents and Emma about Christian's suggestion for the meeting Saturday, his dad's reaction had been a little hard to read but his mom just froze with a blank expression on her face.

"Belle? Do you think it's a bad idea?" Dan asked.

Coming back to them from wherever she had been Ana shook her head: "No. He is pretty good at that, at least he was back then. But there is something I realized since you told me you were going to see him this weekend. I don't know if you want to do anything about it but…it's his birthday this Friday."

Somehow a card or a simple text message did not seem enough. Even if he had only met the man once and he still felt angry and hurt by the choices both his biological parents had made, Christian had been a constant presence in their lives and Eddy had to admit he was grateful for much of the help Christian had provided - the 'opportunities' he had created for him - through the years. This left him with the need to figure out how to handle the birthday of a biological father he didn't really know and who was a billionaire who could probably buy the whole town if he wished. His mom's suggestion of 'something personal' didn't really help. He wasn't ready to share that much of himself yet.

Then Wednesday evening the samples from the official graduation photograph arrived and the moment when he had shaken hands with Christian on stage was part of the samples. His first reaction to the picture was to remember the enthusiasm and determination to succeed, the promise he had made to himself to rise to the challenges ahead of him. Then feelings of hurt and betrayal that he had not known who that man shaking his hand was, clawed at him and he longed for the innocence he had lost since finding out the truth. He had not been abandoned by his father but stolen away from him. For the first time he truly acknowledged that his relationship with his mother had changed and might never be as it once was. With the loss of trust came a distance he resented but couldn't help.

He kept returning to that picture time and again through the evening and each time it evoked new thoughts and feelings and eventually an idea formed. The time was too short to get the official photograph but Nick had taken pictures. The following day he enrolled Emma's help and after a couple of hours of cleaning, enhancing and editing he ended up with a picture of good enough quality to print and frame. After several hours of pondering over that moment in time, what to write on it had been an almost foregone conclusion: '_A day I will always remember'_. The question of how to sign it was another matter entirely and kept him tossing and turning through half the night.

He knew what Christian wanted and at some point around 3 am on Friday morning he gave in. The picture was a present for him, might as well make it what he wished for: he signed the picture as '_Teddy_'.

xXx

The drive to Charleston was a familiar one. With his new shoes and Christian's wrapped present on the passenger seat he left Rock Hill before breakfast on Saturday. The private club was as close to the ocean as one could get and as he passed through North Charleston and the signs indicating the exit towards Detyens, the deal Christian had made with them crossed his mind. That was his one reminder that he was about to enter a world different from the one he normally lived in, especially since his first impression of the club was not particularly impressive. The road ended in front of a nice enough, quite large, one storey building, but the area surrounding it looked a little…shoddy: just a vast parking lot with a few cars parked here and there and a couple of tennis courts somewhere behind him. For a moment he wondered if he was in the right place but then he spotted the two Mercedes SUVs parked a little further down, by a long pier.

Grabbing his shoes and the packed, he got out of the car at the same time as a man in a dark grey business suit exited one of the parked Mercedes and briskly walked towards him.

"Good morning Mr Parson, I am Neil Gamble. If you would follow me sir, Mr Grey is already on board."

He was not addressed as 'Mr Parson' very often and the whole manner of this impeccably dressed person, practically standing at attention in front of him, could have not been more formal if he were greeting some foreign dignitary. He couldn't help a quick glance towards his own polo, casual trousers and shoes which although clean and polished bore the marks of having been worn for a while.

"Oh, just a moment!" he said remembering the jacket his mother had made him take despite the temperature being in the low eighties. 'It can get cold on the water' she had murmured.

The man had patiently waited for him to once again close the door to his car and now led him to the pier. He hesitated and came to a halt before stepping on the narrower structure, but the man reassured him: "You'll be able to change on board, sir. Mr Grey is expecting you."

The pier was T-shaped and a large boat was anchored at the end of the long stretch. As he got closer, the figures on the deck became easier to distinguish. Dressed in a green short sleeved top and standing tall with his arms crossed over his chest and his head slightly tilted towards a shorter man, Christian Grey seemed engrossed in a conversation. The idea that this man was his father had slowly grown to feel more real over the past week but the distance between them, the emotional connection as well as any true knowledge of each other had yet to be bridged. He took a deep breath like he would do before starting one of his Taekwondo routines: that's what he was here for. More assured of his purpose he took the remaining steps and didn't stop again until he reached the side of the vessel.

"Permission to come aboard?" he greeted the two men making use of his new found knowledge of maritime courtesy.

Christian turned his head and his traits, stretched by the seriousness of his previous conversation, relaxed into a beaming smile: "Eddy, good morning. Skipper?" he half turned to the shorter man.

Eddy was instantly reminded why he had struggled so much with the idea that this man was his father: there was no trace of the hesitant middle aged man he had met the previous week and instead of him, standing on the deck bathed in sunlight, was the commanding, charismatic, self-assured man he had seen at his graduation. The man he had placed on a pedestal almost as soon as he had seen him had, despite the courteous question, in reality just dismissed his companion and switched all his attention onto him.

"Permission granted," the stranger said with a smile and moved towards towards Eddy, but Christian beat him to it and stretched his arm to help Eddy take the long step to the first of three steps leading to the deck of the boat. Their hands locked in a firm grip and after only fractionally testing the strength of the arm now forming an extension of his own, Eddy half leaped on board.

"Welcome to the Champagne on Ice," Christian greeted him with a wry grin at the silly name.

"Thank you." Eddy said taking his first look at the deck of a catamaran and trying to recover from the overwhelming moment.

From where he stood at the rear end of the boat, immediately ahead of him was a seating area with two couches and a desk. To the right and slightly above the seating area was the wheel –helm, he reminded himself- half hidden behind a large chair, then straight ahead the entrance to the inside of the boat was divided in three by a glass and metal door covering the middle part.

"A little cramped, I know," said Christian letting go of his hand. Then without missing a beat: "Skipper this is Mr Edward Parson. Eddy, this is Arthur Hale, our skipper."

The two shook hands and the older seaman jutted his chin towards the seating area: "There's a shoe storage compartment under the settee."

A little self-conscious Eddy quickly changed from town shoes and socks to the new boat shoes and to his relief pulling on the handle under the seat revealed a drawer which already contained a pair of shoes. Ignoring the glaring difference in the quality of the foot wear he quickly deposited his own shoes inside and closed the drawer.

He straightened up to see Christian looking at him, his lips no longer curved in a smile but his eyes still shining.

"Eddy, thank you for coming today. This means more to me than I can easily express."

"I am glad I did. I have been looking forward to this," Eddy answered as sincerely as he could, cursing himself for not really being able to return the warmth in the other man's words. Nevertheless Christian acknowledged them with a short nod of his head then turned to their captain: "I'll give Eddy a tour, then we can be underway."

Christian moved towards one of the openings at the end of the seating area and Eddy picked up his jacket and the wrapped present and followed suit into a comfortable if slightly cramped living room. An L shaped couch took most of the space and the table in the middle was set for two.

"I thought we could have lunch while we are underway. A catamaran is much more stable than a single hull – a normal boat – and it's a calm sea, we shouldn't have any trouble with being shaken around." Christian explained. Eyeing the objects in his son's hand he added: "You can just leave those on the couch."

The tour was relatively brief. To the right of the couch, tucked in a corner was what looked like a working desk with some instrumentation visible in the wall mounted panel. 'Navigation station' Christian pointed. On the wall opposite the nav station was a bar which concealed several utilities. Between these two an opening led to three steps and then a corridor which ended at one side in the master bedroom and on the other in the master head complete with shower cabin. Back in the saloon, on the left side and again down a few steps there was a small kitchen – galley - with covered dishes on display on the counter and from the kitchen a corridor to the left led to a small bathroom and the skipper's cabin and another one to the right led to another passenger cabin.

Once again back in the saloon they went out on deck to find the captain already seated in the chair in front of the controls.

"Ready when you are skipper," Christian addressed the older man.

"Very well Mr Grey" said the captain pressing a button by the wheel. The engines roared and the deck under Eddy's feet came alive with a slight vibration.

"A few things you need to be aware of before we get under way, Mr Parson: there are fire extinguishers placed in the kitchen, on the side of the boat besides the helm and at the rear where you came on board. A fire blanket is under the couch in the saloon."

As the captain pointed out the other emergency equipment and procedures, the roar of the engines seemed to lessen until the uneven spluttering became no more than a dull background hum. With a glance to the instrumentation in front of him the captain addressed Christian: "May I suggest you wait with your lunch until we have cleared the marina, we might meet some traffic on the way out."

Christian nodded and went to the seating area on the deck.

"Eddy, let's sit here for a moment. I think you might enjoy the view."

As he took a seat opposite this enigma who was his father, Eddy had full view over the open water and understood what the skipper meant about traffic: the dark blue of the water was liberally strewn with both smaller and larger boats.

He felt the vibration of the engines pick up and with a surprisingly light jolt they were under way. As the skipper kept them on a course towards the open sea, other vessels - mostly sail boats - came closer. Just loud enough to be heard over the hum of the engines Christian explained: "It really isn't that good a day for sailing, not until the wind will pick up this afternoon. We should be able to leave all the sailboats behind soon."

At Teddy's questioning glance he added: "It's a private place to meet and talk undisturbed and if you are up to it we will do some sailing later on. I promised Derek – the owner – I'll test her out."

There was a glint of something hard in Christian's eyes at that last statement, something hinting at the fierce competitiveness that had helped build a business empire from the ground up. Realizing he might have scared his guest with his ominous statement, Christian shook his head: "Sorry. Sailing is one of my hobbies, but it's a competitive community. Derek insists this boat is more fun to sail than mine and has tried to get me on board to prove his claim for a few years."

Seizing the opportunity to learn something about the man, Eddy asked: "Why sailing?"

"You probably wouldn't get that feeling just now, but wait until we get into open water and then when we actually start sailing. There is poetry about the sea as old as mankind."

"'_I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,_

_And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;_

_I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,_

_And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;_

_I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,_

_And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;_

_I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky; And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by'_" Eddy quoted.

"Yes," Christian nodded, "something like that. The quest for adventure, but also the need to get away sometimes, to be alone and reflect without the buzz of the outside world interfering. To just be and feel alive."

The glint in his eyes and some of the hard determination from before made a reappearance: "The sea doesn't care who you are, where you have come from and where you are going. Once the shore is out of sight and you are alone between the sky and the water, all you have is your skill, your knowledge, and the respect you have learned. The sea doesn't respect anybody, you have to respect her. That's why you have so many traditions and so much superstition still surrounding anything that has to do with boats and sailing. But that is also when it becomes fun, exciting, challenging. You can choose to bow to whatever she throws at you and submit, or you can choose to take a chance, try a daring manoeuvre and carve a way forward for yourself through the wrong wind and choppy waters. Whether that ends in failure or success is entirely down to you, to your awareness of your surroundings, acceptance of what is rather than what you want it to be and respect for the tremendous forces you are attempting to harness."

As if on cue the engines roared, three short but powerful horn signals blared and their speed seemed to decrease.

"Sorry Mr Grey, Sunday driver ahead," their skipper muttered then once again let two short blasts of the horn resonate over the water.

"Somebody got ahead of us and we'll pass them on the left side. The horn acts like the brake lights or the indicator lights on a car," Christian translated as the engines resumed their previously low hum and the boat slowly glided a little to the left. A couple of minutes later they passed a smaller vessel with one of their sails slightly fluttering in the barely there wind.

"So what kind of boat do you have?"

"A Leopard 48. It's a cat, like this one, just a little bigger. For another three feet in length and width I get a larger owner suite with a working area and noticeably more space in the lounge. There is a forward as well as an aft cockpit. It's a nicer sailing experience and you can sail the boat single handed if you have to." Christian's assured quick fire description slowed down a little and his voice lowered as if he wanted to keep the next part just between the two of them: "But it is bigger and the sail configuration is slightly different so David is probably right, this would be faster and quicker to manoeuvre."

"And you don't mind?" Eddy was surprised by the admission.

"No. It's a trade-off," Christian said resuming his normal tone of voice. He had admitted to the shortcoming in confidence to him but the arguments for his choice were for all to hear: "He has the speed and manoeuvrability but the space is small and he needs somebody to help him sail. I have the space to be comfortable and I can sail alone or with an inexperienced crew."

Eddy took a few minutes to admire the view which was indeed something to remember. The water was losing the slight green tinge it had had while they were at the pier and as the space between them and other boats increased it became clearer. The small waves didn't seem to disturb the boat at all and raising his eyes to the point where the water met the sky he began to understand some of that urge to get away and be alone, to just move towards the horizon until everything in your daily life was left behind, and rediscover which parts really mattered. And it dawned on him what Christian was doing: this was more than a 'private place to talk undisturbed'. He had invited him to share something that was personal and important to him, opened a door to his private world.

There were noticeably fewer boats in close proximity now and a look behind him confirmed that they had left the marina and were on the open ocean.

"Shall we go inside?" Christian asked. "Our lunch will need a little help."

"Uh, I'm not a very good cook," Eddy admitted.

"Neither am I, but all we'll need to do is put some plates in a warmer and reheat."

"I can manage that."

Evidently at ease in these surroundings, Christian moved efficiently through the cramped space of the galley, maintaining an aura of competence and control even in this utterly domestic setting. Two lasagne dishes had been left in individual, oven proof plates, on a tray by the preheated oven. A smaller plate with bread rolls was placed nearby and two timers sat atop of an instructions sheet explaining for how long to place the dishes in the oven. With fluid, precise movements, the lasagne and bread were placed in the oven and both timers were set.

"If you don't mind tossing the salad," Christian said with a look at the white china bowl filled with various types of salad leaves and halved cherry tomatoes, "I can take care of the drinks."

Moments later Eddy climbed the few steps to the lounge area in time to see Christian sliding the two other sides of the gliding doors in place. The space was now effectively a private dining room.

"The bread should only take five minutes," he said.

Eddy placed the salad on the table and then sat on the couch. Christian sat on the other side then picked up the bottle of wine: "Will you have a glass of wine?"

"Yes, thank you."

Christian poured into two glasses until they were just over half full and placed the bottle down: "A toast feels appropriate," he said.

Not sure what was expected of him Eddy just looked at the long fingers surrounding the stem of the glass then remembered: "Oh, I have a present for you. Mom said it was your birthday yesterday."

With his head down while looking for the packet under his discarded jacket, he missed the pained expression on Christian's face and the fingers whitening in a tight grip on the glass. By the time he raised his head holding the packet in his right hand, Christian had placed the glass on the table and his face had resumed an almost bland expression, only the eyes alive with a questioning look. As Eddy a little hesitantly stretched his arm to offer him the present over the width of the table, he just couldn't find the power to move.

"Eddy, I…" the words stuck in his throat and he had to swallow against the emotion raging inside him.

For once Eddy found himself being the one better prepared in this meeting. He knew exactly what Christian was thinking as he had debated that very issue with himself.

"We didn't know each other until now," he spelled out the state of their relationship.

"Thank you," Christian said and found the strength to reach out and take the wrapped object from Eddy's hands, with a supreme effort to ignore the deeper meaning behind Teddy's simple explanation. "You really shouldn't have."

"It's not much, just…" he shrugged before he spoiled the secret: "Happy birthday."

Christian quickly found the small bits of tape holding the wrapping paper together and deftly popped them open to un-wrap his gift. He turned the picture frame over and once again froze, this time also holding his breath. He had not been this close to tears since his father had passed away and was determined to not drown Teddy in the overflowing mixture of grief and joy that were now filling him. After staring at the picture for a few seconds he gently placed it on the table besides him and finally dared lift his head and meet his son's eyes.

"Thank you. That was beyond thoughtful. The present and the dedication. I am, again, lost for words to tell you how much this means to me."

The hesitation in his voice and slightly lost look in Christian's eyes gave away some the uncertainty and hesitation Eddy also felt. Although the moment only lasted for an eye blink it helped restore some of the balance in this encounter.

Regaining some of his control Christian once again lifted his glass: "To you," he nodded towards the picture: "To your future." After a heartbeat he added: "Congratulations for your admission at Harvard. That is quite an impressive achievement."

"Thank you," Eddy answered. He was proud of his achievement and beyond the first second not surprised that Christian knew about it.

They both took a sip from the cherry red wine. It was Christian who broke the silence: "I didn't know the pictures were ready yet."

"They aren't. I have just received the proofs to order them."

"But then how…" Christian looked at the picture still lying on the table.

"Nick has taken pictures," Eddy admitted and abruptly found himself once again relieving the craziness that had followed his graduation.

"How is your arm?" Christian gently enquired proving his thoughts had taken the same direction.

"It's fine, no real damage," Eddy answered absentmindedly, mostly concentrating on letting go of the confusion and hurt feelings of that day. He wanted this to be a new beginning, a step removed from their still mostly unclear past. But the images kept flitting through his mind until the reel stuttered on the last few moments he remembered from the Emergency Room.

"The man who saved my life, Taylor, I have his address from the police report and I sent him a card to thank him, but by the time we returned to the hospital on Monday he had already been discharged and they wouldn't give us any details. Mom called somebody who knew him and said that he was going to be fine. She said he used to work for you, that he was protecting me."

As if he was now sitting in the shadow, the lines on Christian's face looked harder, deeper, the recollection of how close his son had been to serious injury, or worse, making the distance and stiffness between them harder to bear.

"He wanted to be transferred closer to his family, but he has been discharged now and he is recuperating," he confirmed.

His words caused Teddy to straighten up a little and move his hands closer to the edge of the table, physically moving away from him a few inches.

"Taylor was my head of security. I have reason to believe he was aware of what Ray was doing while you were in Montesano and failed to inform me. He left my employment soon afterwards," Christian added trying to re-establish the tenuous bond of trust at the price of reminding both of them just why they were in this situation.

"So he knew where we were?" Eddy asked, a little confused by the succinct information.

One of the timers went off and Christian went to bring the bread rolls before he replied: "Not then, no. Everybody else had failed in their attempts at finding you and I was starting to lose hope," he admitted, and pushed the salad closer to Teddy in a clear invitation to help himself. "I called him and asked him to pick up the search as a favour. He owed me for failing his duty and he knew that, so he accepted and found you a few months later. I didn't know he was keeping watch over you until very recently. I wasn't sure of his intentions so I had him followed. The driver in the third car was working for me."

"Yes I know," Eddy admitted. "I have been wondering about that, about why he was there." He stopped and frowned as something crossed his mind. "If Taylor has known where I was for all this time and didn't do anything about it, why would he show up just now?"

Christian sighed: "Because of me. Taylor has lived for years with the guilt over his involvement. Had he told me of his suspicions back then, none of this would have happened. He has wrestled with that guilt for years and with my reappearance in such a public way…I didn't know if he was going to take the first step and contact you or your mother."

As the frown didn't lessen on Teddy's face, he explained, putting as much feeling and sincerity in his words as he could: "I am, for myself, incredibly happy that we have met, that we are speaking, that we are here today. But I am acutely aware that this has brought into your life some of the turmoil I have been trying to avoid causing."

The moment from a few days ago when he had longed for the innocence of not knowing the truth flashed through Eddy's mind, but more powerful than that was the frustration and anger that had been building in him while listening to the various explanations of why he had not known his biological father until now.

"I had a right to know," he blurted the words that would no longer be contained.

Christian remained silent for several seconds holding the determined stare of his son. He was careful to not even blink as he started speaking: "I am sorry, Eddy, if I made the wrong decision in staying away. I know that there is no name for the father on your birth certificate and I suppose I knew that at some point you would ask about that, I just had no way of knowing when that time would be, when it would be appropriate for me to step out of the shadow and back into your life. I don't know if you are aware but I am adopted. I don't know who my biological father is and I have no interest in finding out. As far as I am concerned Carrick was my father. I admit that I have always held onto some hope that you would make a different choice, but as I didn't come forward immediately when I found you, it seemed to me that I had lost the right to make that decision for you."

Teddy was still not saying anything so he added: "I thought you were happy."

"I was," Eddy admitted and absentmindedly raked the fingers of his hand through his hair.

The buzzer of the second timer went as Christian followed the hand movement, spellbound by the familiar gesture. As Eddy slowly lowered his arm the two men's eyes met again and the connection that existed between them despite the missing years, the hurt and the betrayals, ignited and burned with a flare too bright to be ignored. Surprised recognition slowly made way to wonder in Christian's eyes while Eddy's remained troubled and far away. The persistent mechanical sound of the timer filled the air clamouring for their attention.

"I'll go get the food," Christian broke the silence in a gentle whisper.

Moments later Christian deposited the hot lasagne plates on the table and picked up the framed picture to place it at a safe distance from the food. It was Eddy's turn to follow the hand movement and his eyes kept darting to the picture as they went through the mundane tasks of plating up.

He took a deep breath and released it then raised his eyes from the layer of gratinated cheese covering his portion of lasagne only to find Christian looking at him rather than at his own plate.

"The graduation ceremony...Mom never said how she figured out that you have found us, she just said she only found out a few weeks ago, but that was before the graduation."

"I wrote to her before the graduation to let her know I would be there."

"But, with everything you said about wanting to stay away, why reveal your hand like that?"

"Can you eat while I tell you?" Christian enquired.

The unexpected question took Eddy by surprise, but he nodded and dipped his fork into the lasagne.

"I must admit serendipity played a big role, with several events concurring, all pointing towards the fact that our paths were going to cross," he started then stopped waiting for Teddy to actually take a bite of their main course.

Between small bites for himself and moments of silence where he waited for Teddy to resume his meal, Christian told his son about the coincidences that all came together within a few months:

"The first event was a clerical mistake. The universities eligible for the Rose Award are chosen randomly each ear through a draw and I then get a list for final approval. Once I approve the list one of the secretaries contacts the relevant universities and obtains contact details for the persons who need to be informed that their institution has been chosen to participate. The list for this year included the University of Southern California. For some reason she was never able to fully explain, the secretary looked up the wrong number and then passed on the wrong contact details to the team responsible for the practicalities surrounding the award. I wasn't aware of the mistake until I received a letter from a disgruntled student from the University of South Carolina.

That initial mistake and the persistence of a certain young lady led to the invitation for me to deliver the Commencement speech. I knew you would be in the graduating class and the temptation to accept the invitation was incredibly hard to resist. But I knew that if I were to accept I had to give up on the pretence that I didn't know who you were."

Realizing what he had to say next, Christian stopped. There was no way he could maintain the business-like demeanour, the strict enumeration of facts. He put his cutlery down and leaned back against the couch until the silence brought a questioning look on Teddy's face.

"We look alike, Eddy. The resemblance, especially with my younger self, is unmistakable," he stated, addressing the elephant that had poked them with its trunk just a few minutes earlier.

Eddy's eyes didn't meet his. Instead they roamed over his face and he remained still allowing the frank inspection.

"Ana would have known that I would recognize you," he spelled out the logical conclusion.

As Eddy's eyes finally met his he continued: "I started to think that perhaps it was time. That I should let her know that I have found the two of you and ask if you would be willing to meet me. At the very least I had to make a decision on when to do that."

Again Christian was faced with a decision to make. If there was a lesson to be learned from his private life was to not let others make the decisions for him, and he had not promised not to tell, just to wait before he sent the cheque. With a long look at the meal still only half eaten in front of him he sighed and pushed the plate aside: "When you were born we set up a trust fund for you. You were meant to start getting money out of it when you turned twenty-one or the Monday after your graduation, whichever came last. In December I received a letter from the fund manager reminding me that the fund will mature in May."

A hint of colour raised in Eddy's cheeks as he admitted: "Mom told us she set up some trust funds."

"She did?"

"Yes, she…" Eddy frowned: "She said it was her money," he explained and the blush grew deeper.

"Eddy…" Christian leaned forward and placed his forearms on the table, the fingers of his hands interlaced and resting on the white table cloth. "I believe what you are referring to is that Ana has placed some of her money in one or several trust funds."

"One for each of us, yes."

"I'm afraid that I am talking about something else, a different fund, one that we set up for you together."

And there, wrapped up in one sentence were the two subjects that he had no idea how to approach: the fortune of his estranged father and what he now knew was a reluctant divorce from his mother. Both Christian and his mother had been quite obvious in pointing out that the other one was not at fault for their separation or for the fact that he had not met Christian until now. He had thought he understood why: his mother out of guilt that she had taken him away and in hope that he will agree to meet with his father, Christian out of guilt that he had not come forward sooner and not wanting to do any more damage to his life than his reappearance had already done. But there was something he couldn't quite put his finger on, that was off, and for some reason Christian's sentence had started the alarm bells ringing again.

"Obviously I have said something that has upset you," Christian interrupted his musings. "If it's the money, you don't have to be embarrassed about it and I hope that you will use it. Regardless of any relationship we will be able to build from here on, you are my son."

"You have a daughter," Eddy pointed out, the words out of his mouth while his mind was still busy trying to solve the puzzle of his parents' behaviour.

"Yes, I do, and she also has a trust fund, identical to yours."

"I have delayed the first payment by a month," Christian continued as the silence grew in the small lounge. "If you need more time, I can delay it again, but…Money needs to be used. You don't have to do that immediately. You can sit on it for a while, figure out how you want to use it, but when the cheque arrives, I think you should cash it."

Eddy got a sense that this was no longer his estranged father speaking but the business genius. The realization brought him back to the here and now and the subject under discussion. He was getting business advice from Christian Grey…who was his father. There was no escaping the circular logic, and he had a feeling that he was not going to be able to distance himself from the reality of just who his father was. Still, he was not ready and taking money from him didn't feel right.

"Can I think about this for a while? I …I don't think I am quite ready to do that yet."

Christian had watched the frown of concentration carve a line between Teddy's eyebrows and he refrained from sighing: this was Ana all over again. Time to test if he had learned that lesson and could handle the situation better than he had with her: "Of course you can. But when you are considering your options, please include the fact that, regardless of your decision, the money is no longer mine. The terms of the fund are unequivocal: you can use the allowance you will receive for any purpose you see fit or you can leave them where they are, but nobody else aside of you can touch them. Also, I would like to give you the details of the fund manager."

He knew the more experienced man had somehow gained an advantage here, but at a loss of what else to do Eddy nodded: "Ok, thank you. I'll really think about it."

"Let's reheat these and finish our meal. We are probably far enough now that we can drop anchor for a while," Christian said, once again all business.

**AN: I don't want to make promises I can't keep so part two will most likely be next Saturday…**


	38. Summer Storm Ch37 Building Bridges p2

**AN With apologies to those of you who would like to just see things moving forward, this is another chapter entirely dedicated to Christian and Teddy feeling their way around each other.**

Ch 37 Building bridges PART TWO

Christian stood with the two half eaten plates and Eddy picked up the remains of the salad and bread rolls and they once again moved to the kitchen. This time the lasagne went into the microwave and Eddy was directed to dump the food in a plastic box under the sink: "This far offshore anything edible goes into the water, we'll take it out later. There is no dishwasher I'm afraid."

"Uh, that's OK I can do the dishes," Eddy replied to the instructions, a little taken aback by the domesticity of the moment. He had gone from discussing trust funds to doing dishes in a few seconds flat. It felt a little artificial, as if he had been taken away from something, distracted from something… The last thing Christian had said 'And also, I would like to give you the details of the fund manager.' Eddy shook his head. How did he not see it? Even if he had not committed to using it, he had just accepted the trust fund. Christian had so far been careful to not step on his toes, had been careful with what he said and how - there had to be a reason he had changed tactics here, got him to accept the fund without going into any details…With a sinking feeling he formulated his suspicion in a question, asked while he was still looking down at the soapy plate: "How much?"

"Sorry?"

Eddy sighed. Apparently he was not going to get anymore slack here: "How much is in the trust fund?"

As there was no reply to his question he turned his head to see Christian casually leaning against the countertop, one arm crossed against his chest, the other bent at the elbow and his index finger covering his lips as if he was shushing somebody.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

Pausing in his chores and now certain this was what Christian had wanted to avoid discussing, Eddy returned the stare then admitted: "Might as well."

"10,000 a month for the first ten years, more after that."

'Don't break the plate' was the first thing that crossed Eddy's mind then his eyes went down to the now clean and shiny china. Before the half-formed thought of 'at least I can afford it' fully entered his consciousness he put the plate on the drying rack and then quickly rinsed the salad bowl.

His chores finished he wiped his hands and turned around as the timer for the first plate beeped and watched Christian swipe the plates and reset the timer.

"And I have just accepted it, haven't I?"

The gray eyes met his and Christian's assessing stare softened: "You don't have to use it Eddy. As I said, take your time, think about it. But you won't have to ask me or anybody else and now that you know it exists, you won't have to wonder if or when a cheque or a letter will suddenly appear in your letter box."

This time Eddy could practically hear the silent T before his name. He knew the missing letter was a compromise, an effort Christian was making to put him at ease. But he did need that: he needed to know that he was accepted as Eddy Parson before he could contemplate any other alternative.

Back in the saloon they quickly finished their food, the conversation this time staying firmly on neutral ground, courtesy of the engines briefly roaring before they once again settled into a dull persistent humming noise. Christian seemed to know quite a bit about them and about all the ecological options and improvements and Eddy could use his knowledge of car motors to keep up with the conversation. When they were done they once again picked up after themselves, then Christian removed the tray with discarded food before heading outside. "We should anchor first and then we can have coffee on the deck."

Anchoring, it turned out, required a second person to take care of the cables at the front part of the boat. While Eddy was directed to a seat in the sitting area, Christian negotiated with the skipper: "I can handle the windlass and I know what to look for in a bridle, these engines are new to me."

Fitted with a small headset - 'no reason to get our signals mixed, Mr Grey', the skipper had explained – Christian disappeared off the side of the boat towards the front and the skipper gently turned the boat around.

"First time on a boat, Mr Parson?"

Surprised to be addressed, Eddy nodded then realized the man at the helm could not see him. "Yes, I am."

"We have to turn her downwind then I'll keep her still as Mr Grey drops the anchor. He'll have to let me know when that is done and then I'll reverse the engine until the boat stops on the anchor and again he'll have to test if it's set before I cut off the engine."

They were already practically at a standstill and a few minutes later the hum of the engines was silenced and Christian's returning steps could be heard over the sound of the water gently lapping at the sides of the boat. The skipper was standing by the helm as first Christian's shadow then the man himself dropped back onto the deck. A look passed between the two then Christian acknowledged with a nod: "Go on skipper, check my handiwork if you have to. We'll get some coffee then be on the deck until the wind picks up."

Another few minutes and the skipper let Christian - who was now holding a small tray with their coffees -pass, then with a polite 'Mr Grey, Mr Parson' ducked inside and closed the door behind him.

Again they were seated with Eddy facing the open sea and Christian opposite him facing the deck.

For several minutes they just sat in silence, soaking in the sun and the sounds of the sea, Eddy getting used to the new noises - the intermittent creaking of the hull that had replaced the constant background noise of the engines. They were not quite alone although other ships were quite far away, far enough that on occasion the engine sounds were only heard a couple of heart beats after the ship had entered Eddy's field of vision. The movement of the water and the glare from the sun on the crest of the waves was almost hypnotic so he had to raise his eyes higher to the horizon. Somewhere to his left a dark streak marred the landscape painted in various shades of blue and silver and held his attention.

Noticing the change from casual watching to concentrated stare, Christian half turned to see what had captured Eddy's attention. Despite his age his vision was still 20/20 and with his experience at sea he immediately knew what was coming. He remained silent as the wisp of barely there darkness grew thicker and then appeared to be flanked by a flutter of colour, a hint of red to the right. It took several minutes before a solid black square took shape underneath the now continuous column of black smoke flanked by a patch of red apparently just floating in the air.

Eddy's face relaxed and Christian knew his son had identified the object of his scrutiny.

"I don't think I have ever seen one appear from beyond the horizon quite like that," Eddy admitted. "I have been to the port, to the docks before, but I suppose there was too much going on to notice."

He was a little disappointed when after just another few minutes instead of the ship looming larger the patch of red seemed to glide towards the column of smoke and the whole structure moved to their right rather than towards them.

"There are between 15 and 20 cargo ships coming in and out of Charleston every day, so we might get to see one actually coming this way," Christian responded to the loss of interest in Teddy's eyes.

Taking his eyes off the horizon Eddy nodded, letting go of the slight disappointment: "I passed Detyens, or at least the exit towards them, on the way to the club," he said. "I heard you signed a deal with them."

"The details are still a work in progress but it's a good deal for both parties so I expect we'll be able to sign before the end of the summer," Christian confirmed.

Eddy's intention had been to ask about the ships, especially the ones doing charity work, the part of Christian's activities that had not been mentioned at graduation, but the way the answer had been formulated interrupted that train of thought.

"But I thought…,"he stopped not really wanting to go back to where he was constantly questioning and challenging.

Break was apparently over so Christian braced himself to once again navigate the unknown waters of their fragile reunion: "Whatever is on your mind, just ask, Eddy," he encouraged his son.

Eddy took a moment to look into the earnest gray eyes facing him and a little reluctantly admitted: "I thought it was just to keep the accident out of the news."

Christian leaned his head to one side wondering if Teddy could be disappointed that he had made a good deal in the process. Realizing how petulant his remark sounded, Eddy hurried to add: "I know you have been in talks with them before but decided against it. And…I did some research," he admitted a little embarrassed. "GEH doesn't have any interests in this region. In fact there are no GEH connections in any of the neighbouring states."

The pale gray of Christian's irises darkened to steel blue as the torment of the years he had spent keeping himself away from Ana and Teddy slithered its way from where he had pushed it in the recess of his soul and threatened to make an appearance. With sheer determination he pushed the feeling back down. It was over, it was done, he was here with his son.

"I really meant what I said about wanting to preserve the peace of your life. If GEH outlets or connections were to appear anywhere near you, I thought Ana might get worried, perhaps even scared."

According to his research there were ten states including South Carolina where there was no GEH presence at all. The man had excluded twenty per cent of the states of the country from doing business with him just to preserve his mother's peace of mind and by extension not to trouble the peace of their family. Eddy felt compelled to give something back, share something of his own inner life. Holding Christian's troubled eyes he tried to convey as much sincerity as he could with his own expression: "I was going to ask about you this summer, about my father. If you had not contacted mom before graduation she would have never found out all that you have done for us through the years. She only found out because she knew how to look. What I mean is, I would have heard a different story, I wouldn't have known you cared. Knowing that you did care, that you have been around and that you have not just turned away and forgotten about us, has made a difference. A big difference."

He had meant his confession to be a sort of acknowledgement of Christian's efforts but the effect they had - stiff shoulders and clenched jaws and those eyes firing laser beams which mercifully almost immediately looked away from him - reminded him of that moment of rage he had glimpsed at his graduation.

"Eddy," the single word was strained, almost shredded, in the effort it had taken to utter it. "This is the single most difficult subject I can think of between us."

Christian was still focusing on something somewhere over his right shoulder and Eddy resisted the temptation to turn and see if the helm and the chair were still standing or had crumbled under the intensity. Several seconds passed before Christian infinitesimally moved his head and searched his face without meeting his eyes.

"If I had ever considered that that was the story you have been told…"

After another pause he dared again look at his son: "I am unspeakably sorry that you had to grow up thinking I had abandoned you. If I had known, this would have trumped any other arguments against coming to you."

No longer able to remain seated, Christian stood and took the frustratingly few steps to the railing. He gripped the railing and bowed his head closing his eyes as tightly as he could: "There is no name on your birth certificate. I assumed that's what you were told, that the name was unknown."

A semblance of balance restored he turned back towards the son he had so abruptly abandoned, cursing himself for the outburst and how it might have affected Teddy.

"It was not quite as bad as that," Eddy found his voice. "We never really talked about it. We didn't even know mom had been married. I assumed that it was an affair or a relationship that didn't work out, that the guy left before I was even born. It wasn't me really he had abandoned, it was more the idea of me."

Christian had resumed his seat and was once again left with his heart in a tight knot and looking in wonder at the young man seated opposite him: "How can you be here? How can you not just agree to spend time with me but want to do it?" he voiced his anguish.

Embarrassed at his own feelings and at witnessing the effect he had had on this man, Eddy let his head fall down a fraction and lowered his eyes.

"It wasn't any single thing," he admitted. "I admired you, at graduation, but there was also…something, a kind of connection, when I didn't know who you were. When I found out, I was angry, I felt betrayed. Then mom told us her story and how you first didn't know where we were but then helped and came to see us even if I didn't know about it. You helped Emma. It got me thinking and I talked to a friend, my roommate. He studied psychology and he had told me before that that piano piece had to be a childhood memory, something from around the age of four or five."

"You didn't expect me to remember," Christian recalled.

"But you did," Eddy pointed out and the significance of that moment gave him the courage to look up again and meet the still wondering gaze of his father.

"But you did," he repeated. "If I am to be honest, some of the things you did for us, maybe most of them, I sometimes thought they were just…guilt, perhaps. But at graduation, it wasn't only you: there were others there, your family. They knew about me and cared enough to come and see me when Carla only sent a card."

Christian was not quick enough to stop the snort of derision at Teddy's mention of Carla and caused the young man to frown in confusion.

"I'm sorry, it's Carla. She…" Christian hesitated between saying something unfriendly about the other one of Teddy's maternal grandparents and providing the little reassurance he could for him. But Teddy seemed to be under no misapprehension as to Carla so he finished his sentence: "At least she is consistent. She missed your mother's graduation as well."

Minefield. Christian had come prepared to have to discuss, to open up about subjects that were bound to be difficult or delicate to approach, but he had expected the difficulty would be in managing and preserving Teddy's emotional balance, not his. For the third time today a comment that had been as close to neutral as they were going to get, had exploded not as much in Teddy's face as in his own. The day of Ana's graduation was something he had not thought of since the very first days of their relationship. For the past six months the memories of the man he was then had returned to haunt him and now that remark about Carla had brought back a vivid image of the evening spent discussing the submissive contract. He had to move away from that before he once again descended into the self-hate that had made him shut down and shut the world out after Ana left Seattle.

Eddy had also had a similar reaction to that almost casual remark about Carla. Perhaps in the great scheme of things it was just a small detail, but one that had again reminded him how much he didn't know about his own mother and the life that had shaped her into the person she was today.

"The others, my mother and brother, Samantha, and I also have a sister, Mia, they all know about you and care about you. Mia doesn't know we came to your graduation. She lives in Europe and I have not told her. I am sure she would have been there otherwise."

The look on Teddy's face was expectant and hopeful so Christian spoke slowly, allowing Teddy time to interrupt him if he wanted: "They have known for several years that I have found you, they have seen pictures and I have told them as much as I knew about you. I never told them exactly where you were until I decided to come to your graduation. I realize this is probably too soon but if you would like to meet them, they would very much want to meet you too."

Eddy shifted restlessly in his seat.

"Not much room to pace, I'm afraid," Christian commented picking up on the unease.

He stood up and waited for Eddy to do the same then turned once again to take the three steps to the side of the boat and they both ended standing up against the railing, facing the open sea.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Christian prompted

Eddy shook his head: "I'm sorry, I…I think I would like to meet them sometime."

Christian half turned to watch his son. Teddy looked preoccupied and he was preparing to reassure him that it was OK to take some time, that he understood it was probably too much to take on this soon, when Teddy beat him to it: "If you have been in Rock Hill you must have seen her there, Aunt Kate."

Stifling the impulse to sigh Christian only tightened his fingers on the railing and measured his words as he spoke: "I did, the year after I found you. Katherine and I have never been close, never liked each other. I am certain she had not shared with Elliot that she knew where the two of you were and she certainly didn't share that information with me. Elliot, Mia and I are all adopted. Had it not been for Grace and Carrick Grey, who knows what would have become of us. We didn't just happen to be a family, we had to work at it, and in a way that has brought us closer. We look out for each other… If Elliot had become aware that she knew and could have prevented much of what happened after you left Seattle, it would have ended his marriage. As it were it was too late to change anything, so I never confronted her."

A wave rolled under the boat and lifted it higher than what they had encountered so far then moved away and deposited them back at their previous level. The deep azure of the sea was now here and there interrupted by streaks of white foam and the surface looked wrinkled rather than gently undulating. 'Forge a future' Christian reminded himself of the goal he had set for this encounter.

"He knows now that Katherine has been visiting you but even if he didn't…"Christian stopped and again turned to look at Teddy and waited until Teddy also turned his head towards him: "This is now. We, you and I, have this chance, this opportunity to get to know each other. This is what matters now."

Eddy could tell Christian meant what he said, there was no hint of hesitation in his voice or in his eyes. His whole demeanour conveyed a sense of quiet determination.

"You said they know about me. Not just that I…exist, but they have seen pictures and heard about my life. I have tried to look them up," Eddy said, "but there is not much I could find."

"Would you like to know more?"

For the best part of the next hour Christian spoke about his mother, his siblings, his daughter and his nephews and nieces. The only person he did not mention was Matthew, as that was Elliot's tale to tell.

The sea had become increasingly agitated and by the time a wave broke against the hull and sprayed them with a fine mist of salt water Eddy had learned quite a bit about this other family he had, including the fact that Christian had raised his daughter as a single parent and that she, like his mother and siblings, was not only aware of his existence but willing, eager even, to meet him.

"Are you OK?" Christian asked as once again they were lifted and then lowered back down in a sweeping movement that was now more the norm than the exception.

"Yeah, I am. I…took a tablet earlier," Eddy admitted.

"It won't get much worse than this," Christian reassured him, "the wind should not pick up much more today."

"I really am fine. Is it strong enough to sail then?" he asked, ready to take a break from all the information once again filling him with conflicting emotions.

"If you are up to it, yes."

To his surprise Eddy ended up being placed at the helm.

Informed of Christian's decision that is was time to do some sailing, Adam Hale reappeared on deck and handed everybody life vests, then he and Christian worked together to pull the anchor back in. Once the engines had been started and they were again moving, the skipper had relinquished command to Christian and Eddy had been asked to take the seat in front of the wheel and the daunting instrumentation panel.

"Forget the instruments," Christian told him. "The only one you need to keep an eye on is the compass." He pointed out the bulging black and red instrument and the numbers on the side, obviously representing degrees of a circle. "Your job will be to keep us going in the same direction, not let the needle stray right or left while Mr Hale and I raise the sails. Oh and this one here," he added pointing to a black lever, "is to switch off the engine. Just twist it as you would a car key when I tell you to."

With Mr Hale hovering somewhere behind him and Christian now on the left side of the cockpit, he got his first view of the sea as seen from over the length of the boat.

"OK, Eddy, slowly turn her around to 270."

A little wondering at the power now under his fingers Eddy slowly turned the wheel until the needle hovered close to the 270 angle and then eased back as Christian had showed him. He had only shot the mark by a few degrees and corrected that with an even more careful turn of the wheel. And then movement caught his eye to his left and he turned his head to see a sail starting to unfurl from the side of the mast.

"Keep 'er steady Mr Parson," Hale warned from behind him and Eddy quickly lowered his eyes back to the compass to correct the slight change of course.

His eyes darting between the compass and the increasingly large stretch of canvass he saw the sail begin to stretch and then slightly curve and he gripped the wheel a little harder as it seemed to want to turn to the right.

"Jib is up. Hold steady on the wheel and switch off the engine," Christian commanded.

And just like that he was now at the helm of a sailing ship. A little incredulous he shook his head but a smile was fluttering over his lips.

"Ready for the main event?" Christian's voice reached him from just behind his left shoulder.

"Ready," he replied his fingers once again taking a firmer grip of the wheel as his head turned towards the voice.

Christian's eyes were like two pools of mercury as he stretched one arm towards some of the buttons he had told Eddy to ignore. "Moving the boom a little leeward," he explained and the horizontal part of the mast started swinging towards them, then stopped at a 45 degree angle to the length of the ship.

Then Christian was gone and from the side of the mast a second sail started unfurling. It took longer this time before the sail was fully deployed then filled by the wind and then for another few minutes the shape of the sail seemed to slowly change until it too looked bowed rather than straight. Under Eddy's hands instead of the constant and even vibration of the engines the waves were transmitting more irregular jolts. From his vantage position it was obvious that they had picked up speed and not even the ominous groans and creaks of the mast and the sails could distract him from the sheer exhilaration of the moment.

A slight flutter of darker strips of fabric at the edge of the main sail caught his attention and Christian's voice once again coached him from the side. "Ease the wheel right just a fraction."

His first sailing lesson began then in earnest as he learned how normally the boat would be on auto pilot to keep the general course and the helm was used to do minute corrections to keep the flow of air over the sails just right. The strips of fabric, he learned, were there to indicate just that and he got to test and practice keeping them aligned.

"We are not really going anywhere right now so all that matters is to keep the wind in the sail," his tutor encouraged him.

"'And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by'" Eddy said remembering the first few moments on the boat.

Christian did not reply, but a reply was not needed. For several minutes they just shared the moment, racing over the water.

"Ready for something a little more challenging?" Christian finally broke the silence.

It quickly became obvious that what Christian was doing was to see how the boat performed with the wind hitting it from various directions. At first it was not too challenging, at least not for him. The two men behind him were doing whatever it took to change the shape of the sails and his job remained to keep whichever course Christian instructed. But then they eventually performed a full U turn and now they were sailing almost directly against the wind, with the main sail just a few degrees from being parallel to the boat and keeping the airflow smooth over the inflated canvas had become increasingly difficult. He was frowning in concentration as he was effectively zigzagging over the water.

"Having fun?" Christian asked, startling him.

At this precise moment in time he wasn't really sure if he would qualify the experience as fun and he didn't dare interrupt the constant eye darting between the sail and the compass so he didn't answer.

"Let go of the wheel a little," he was instructed. "You are doing great. The only thing more difficult than what you are doing now is if we also had to maintain course to a destination, but then we would probably not try and maintain a straight course."

Eddy shook his head least he became convinced he could actually sail a boat. "That and work the sails and know where we actually are and how to get to where we are going."

"True," Christian chuckled. "Want me to take over?"

"No. Uh, not unless you want to that is," Eddy said remembering himself.

"Not yet, no. There's one more thing I'd like to try and I am going to have to trim the sails. But I thought you might need a warning that it is not going to be as smooth as what we have done so far."

At the seriousness in the man's voice Eddy dared take his eyes off their alternating targets and turn his head. Those pools of glittering mercury were back and an eyebrow slowly rose high above the right eye as Christian's head leaned to the left assessing him: "If you are up for it that is."

His lips pursing to not allow the wide grin to spread over his face Eddy silently accepted the challenge by simply returning his attention to his task. Another chuckle and Christian's voice close by: "I take it that's a yes then. When I tell you, I want you to turn the wheel sharply about 30 degrees to the right."

Eddy's nodded as Mr Hale gruffly warned: "Mr Grey."

Christian's reply didn't come until he had already reached his station by the left side of the cockpit: "Trust me skipper, I wouldn't risk this cargo."

Under Christian's directions Eddy slowly turned the boat back into the wind and their speed once again picked up. Then Christian warned: "Ready to come about."

"Ready," replied Adrian Hale.

The smaller sail seemed to change shape a little, becoming hollower somehow. By now Eddy was aware that the change was going to make them loose speed and was wondering just what Christian had in mind that had alerted their skipper, when the outside edge of the sail seemed to acquire a slight tremble. Before the tremble turned into a flutter Christian shouted: "Now Teddy!"

The boat took a moment to respond to the rapid turn of the wheel and in those two or three seconds their speed dropped rapidly and both sails started to flutter, the erratic movement causing the wheel to tremble and jerk under his hands. Then the main sail started retracting towards the mast while the smaller one moved in the opposite direction and the front of the boat turned to the right despite the wheel not moving. As if new life had been breathed into it, the small sail once again tensed and bowed, then the main sail started travelling outwards on its rails as it also filled with wind and once again propelled them forward. Only then did Eddy dare loosen his grip on the wheel and turn his head towards his father: "Thanks for the warning."

"You're welcome," Christian answered dead pan then let his shoulders slump a little. "Too much?"

"No," Eddy refused to back down. "Just unexpected."

Apparently done playing with the boat, Christian looped the rope he was holding around a protruding metal hook then came to join Eddy at the helm.

"I wanted to see how she behaved when tacking conditions were not ideal. That is turning when there might not be enough wind to do so," he translated the nautical term. "Turning the wheel that fast caused the airflow to drop from the surface of the sails and made us drop speed. She did very well," he added.

"Glad you think so," came the grumbled comment from behind them.

"It is considered a rookie mistake, turning that fast," Christian continued, unfazed. "Except I did it on purpose. Perhaps we should try that again. It should be even more powerful if we also raise the spinnaker."

"Perhaps I should take over the helm for a while," came the counter proposal from the older sailor.

Uncertain whether any of them were serious in their suggestions Eddy looked from one man to the other, then Christian finally smiled: "We're good skipper. Time to turn homewards, so smooth sailing from now on."

For the next hour or so Christian and Eddy shared the double seat at the helm, with Christian leaving the actual helm to Eddy and for himself occasionally adjusting the sails from the winch positioned to the left of the station. From Eddy's surprised remark that 'I didn't realize you could do that from here,' to Christian's admission that he wanted him to enjoy the experience without the distraction of somebody constantly pulling a rope besides him they mostly talked about sailing, both of them content to, for a while, simply share the experience of gliding over the water.

Soon, too soon, with each raise at the top of a wave the sun started getting in their eyes. As the shore line loomed larger and more vessels appeared in their neighbourhood, Christian finally retracted the smaller sail and let their speed fall a little. Proving that he had kept an eye on his charges, Adam Hale also emerged from where he had retreated inside the ship.

"I assume you'd rather take her from here, skipper?" Christian acknowledged his presence.

"I thought I'd better be close at hand, Mr Grey. It's getting a little crowded."

"No, that's fine. Take the helm, I'll help if you need me," Christian replied and stood from his seat.

Eddy and Christian moved to the couches in the lower part of the deck as Hale took over the sailing.

His eyes first on the approaching shore line, Christian finally turned them towards Teddy.

"I have to be in Seattle next week end," he confessed. "Unless you want to come over, I can be here the following Saturday, on the third."

At first surprised by the out of the blue statement, Eddy then nodded: "It's OK, I understand that you might not be able to come over every week." And then the second part of what Christian had said hit him and he stopped to think not of what to say but how to formulate it.

"I will think about coming over, perhaps later in the summer."

"I'm sorry. You have already said you'll think about it. I just wanted to make sure that you know that is an option."

And Eddy finally deciphered one of the puzzles he had been struggling with through the day. The way Christian spoke, the words he used and the way he formulated his sentences: time and again he would revert to sounding as if he was conducting a business meeting. After his almost overwhelmingly warm welcome, when he first started speaking about Taylor, describing the events that had led to him coming at graduation, the trust fund, Detyens…all related to the past, all leading to revelations that might be upsetting to hear. Each time the words risked to scare him away, Christian had retreated behind his business man persona as if it were a shield.

"Thank you, I know."

"OK. I'll come over the week after next. Is there anything you'd like to do?"

A little embarrassed Eddy admitted: "I thought perhaps I'd arrange something."

And he finally got the response he had hoped to achieve earlier, with his remark about how the decision to come forward had been the right one: Christian's face relaxed and the smile that had been there when he had first greeted him made a reappearance.

**AN: Next chapter Teddy's thoughts and a glimpse into what's going on in Seattle**


	39. Summer Storm Ch38 Return to shore

**Ch38 Return to shore**

**Saturday June 19 Charleston**

Coming back on shore was a harsh reminder of how little time they had had together. Walking down the long pier they were slowly falling back to being Christian Grey and Edward Parson and even the physical distance between them gradually increased from standing almost shoulder to shoulder as they came off the boat to half an arms' length by the time they reached Christian's parked Mercedes.

Nevertheless reluctant to part, they stopped a few paces from the end of the alley- like structure. Eying the cars as he had had the last time, Eddy felt the distance growing and found himself resenting the feeling, wanting to fight back and recapture the connection they had on the boat. He remembered Christian's challenge before that crazy manoeuvre and the moment of easy banter and started grinning: "Flashy," he commented with a nod towards the cars.

Christian's lips pursed and his shoulders straightened, but his eyes were dancing when he answered: "Apart from safety criteria I allow the team to choose the cars." And then he shrugged: "Perks of the job."

With the connection re-established Eddy took another look behind him at the boat barely bobbing at the end of the pier: "This has been quite an experience. Thank you."

Encouraged by this positive turn to the end of their day, Christian dared to push a little further: "Christian," he said.

Eddy leaned his head to one side: of course the man had noticed he had not addressed him as anything in particular.

"Christian," he acknowledged. "Thank you, Christian."

"For me too. Until the third then?"

With one last handshake Eddy walked to his car. He was not surprised and only a little self-conscious when the view in his rear view mirror confirmed the SUVs had not moved from their spot. Resisting the temptation to wave he left the now busier parking lot towards downtown Charleston and Nick's studio apartment.

Half an hour later, finally finding a parking spot on Nick's street he could not help the thought that connection or not it was undeniable that him and Christian lived in different worlds. With the consolation prize that at least in this one his car looked like it belonged, he picked his overnight bag from the trunk and walked the short distance to the block of flats and Nick's apartment.

"Eddy, come on in," Nick opened the door with a big smile on his face, his wet hair lazily flopping over his eyebrows.

"Hi Nick," Eddy responded with a smile of his own, genuinely happy to see the familiar face of his brother and behind him the normalcy of his bachelor pad.

"You can drop that anywhere. Want a beer?" Nick said nodding towards the duffel bag.

"Yeah, I do."

Dumping his bag by the door, Eddy went to sit in the well-worn U-shaped sofa that marked the social area of the one room apartment.

"Nick, where's…"

Eddy turned his head to the sound of the female voice behind him to see Carol-Ann wrapped in a towel and using a second one to dry her hair. In a flash, beer bottles forgotten, Nick placed himself between his brother and his half naked girlfriend.

"Hi Carol-Ann," Eddy piped and made a move pretending to try and look past the stocky frame of his brother.

"Nick, you could have warned me! Hi Eddy, I'll be out in a moment."

Eddy couldn't resist: "Oh don't go to any trouble on my account, you look fine just like that."

As Nick flashed him a warning glare, he raised his hands in surrender and turned back in the couch to face the wall and the large TV, another one of Nick's prized acquisitions.

He waited until he heard the door to the bathroom close before turning back again.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything. I can just have a beer and go if you guys have plans."

"No, that's fine." Nick grumbled and made his way from the kitchen counter to where Eddy was seated, this time holding three beers and a glass. "I told her you'd be around. She just had to get out of Rock Hill."

"Her mom driving her crazy, huh?"

"How do you know about that?"

"Nick, I have no interest in Carol-Ann, not like that. She's just a friend. But her mum has been trying to marry her off for the past couple of years and it drives her nuts."

At the uncertain look in Nick's eyes, Eddy shook his head and took a sip of his beer.

"Ignore her, it's what Carol-Ann told me to do. Her mom is a socialite, or rather a wanna be. The grandparents were pretty well off and she, her mum I mean, is a little hung up on the glory days. Carol-Ann is not like that. She hates all that social pretence and the mind games and smoke mirrors. And her dad sounds like a good guy, both-feet-on-the-ground kind of man."

"You seem to know a lot about her."

"I have had the pleasure of meeting her mother. She was all smiles until she figured out we are not from the same part of town," Eddy shrugged. "Carol-Ann felt the need to apologize."

The door to the bathroom opened again and Carol-Ann, now wearing a blouse and denim shorts but still barefoot made her way to the couch, her still wet hair tied up in a ponytail.

Seeing the two of them sat beside each other, both obviously freshly showered in the middle of the afternoon, knees and shoulders touching, the penny dropped for Eddy and a slight blush rose to his cheeks. Grateful he had had trouble finding a parking space, he hid his embarrassment behind another sip of his beer while Nick was carefully filling up Carol-Ann's glass.

"Thank you," Carol-Ann accepted the glass and snuggled closer to her boyfriend, legs curled underneath her on the couch. Then turned to Eddy: "How are you? How's work?"

Finally taking in his appearance she pointed out: "You look sunburned."

"Yeah, I thought perhaps I could take a shower, I was out all day," Eddy replied with a look to his brother.

Nick shrugged: "Shower's free. Later on I thought I'd take the two of you to that Italian place I told you about."

One shower, another beer for Nick, and some general banter later, Nick decreed it was time to go get some dinner.

"I'll just get my handbag," said Carol-Ann, walking away from the couch and to the double bed occupying the other end of the studio.

Eddy had still not said very much and Nick took advantage of the relative privacy to ask: "You OK? I didn't get a chance to ask how it went today."

"I'm OK, but I'm kind of beat to be honest."

The problem with a small apartment is that there is no real privacy and Carol-Ann was already close enough to hear Eddy's answer. This however seemed like a private moment between the two brothers so she retreated back to the double bed.

"Would you rather stay in then? We could order some Chinese, watch TV…"

"I don't want to spoil your evening."

Nick turned his head to look for his girlfriend and spotted her sitting on the bed: "Carol-Ann, how about we stay in instead, grab some Chinese?"

She stood up and walked back to the two brothers. With a reassuring smile for her boyfriend she said: "Sure," and her arm slinging around his waist told him 'all I need is you'.

Nick's arm slithered over her back in response and he smiled in return then moved his arm to her shoulders and nodded: "Let me get some menus".

Carol-Ann resumed her seat on the couch as Nick went rummaging for the takeaway menus.

"Are you OK?" she asked Eddy. "I heard you tell Nick you were tired and you have been rather quiet."

Eddy looked a little hesitant at first but when Nick plopped down on the couch and deposited a few colourfull leaflets on the low table he made his decision: there had been too much silence and too many secrets in his life. Nick was his brother and Carol-Ann had been his friend before she became his girlfriend and besides they had already cleared the air between them at Emma's birthday.

"Spent the day sailing. I didn't realize how tired I was until that first beer hit me."

"You've been sailing? I didn't know you sailed?" she asked.

"I don't, but…Christian does."

"Christian?"

"Grey. Christian Grey."

"You've been…I'm sorry, it's none of my business but…umm…"Carol-Ann had started the sentence a little wide eyed and finished it with an uncertain look, her eyes darting from one brother to the other.

"I've met him last week and we talked a little and then today he suggested sailing so we spent the day on the water. Getting to know each other, that kind of thing."

As the cat was out of the bag and Eddy didn't seem to mind Carol-Ann knowing about it, Nick repeated his earlier question: "So how did it go?"

"It went well, I think. He is…you remember graduation. He was like that: intimidating – although he is holding back, a lot I think – intense, focused, can get pretty formal at times. Mostly…He had me driving the boat, manning the helm. You can actually feel the wind pushing the sails and the boat, feel the power. That's how he is. He's careful to not step on my toes, to give me space, and then one of us would say something and that intensity, that driving force is back. He won't direct it at me, makes an effort to ensure I know I have a choice, but you can't avoid feeling the leashed power and have to put in some effort to resist being sucked into the vortex."

Both his brother and Carol-Ann were just staring at him when he finished speaking, so he explained: "He sees me as his son, wants me as his son, and I think it is safe to say that he usually gets what he wants. He seems to be willing to make an exception in my case, to let me make up my own mind, but it's obvious that it takes him a great deal of effort to do that."

"OK," Nick nodded, "So that's what he wants. How about you?"

"I only met him twice, Nick."

His brother didn't seem to be willing to help him dodge the answer so he sighed: "I told you there was something there, some kind of connection and it's still there. I would like to get to know him better, but I am still a little star struck, I think, and it wouldn't be fair to him or…to the others if that's why I wanted to get closer to him."

"The others?"

"He invited me to Seattle, to meet the family. They know about me and want to meet me."

"Eddy, I think you are looking at this the wrong way. I can accept that the money and the rest are a bit overwhelming; god knows I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. But the way I know you, if you get to meet them and know them and decide that you don't really like them…I somehow can't see you continue with that relationship regardless of the rest."

Eddy seemed again lost in his own mind and Nick insisted: "There's something else bothering you, isn't it? If it's about dad, he really is OK with you meeting Christian; you have to know that by now."

"I was talking to Christian today about how I didn't know about him. I told him that I never really felt like my father abandoned me, per se. With what we knew, I always thought he mostly abandoned mom as a person and walked away from the idea of having a family with her, never even knew me or wanted to know about me. What I did miss, what I needed, was a chance to be… acknowledged. But now that I have that, if I take it further and get to know him and it doesn't work out…"

"Then he will abandon you," Nick finished his sentence.

"Something like that, yes."

Nick bowed his head in concentration and after a couple of heart beats squeezed Carol-Ann's hand to reassure her and told his brother: "You'll never know unless you take that chance, Eddy. You know about me and Vera and how that ended. I didn't dare take another chance after that until now," he said with a quick look at the young woman sat beside him, "if that happens, yeah I can see how it is going to be a tough one to get over, but you'll still have us: mom, dad, Emma and I, and at least you'll know. To live with the question, always wondering… there is no closure from that, no way to try and put it behind you and heal and move on."

"I know," Eddy sighed. "We've already made plans to meet again in a fortnight."

"You're going to Seattle?"

"No, not this time. I really am not ready to take that step yet. But I promised I'll think about it so maybe next time," Eddy shook his head and a ghost of a smile fluttered over his lips: "Patience doesn't seem to be one of his strong suits either," he admitted.

"Says the man who skipped his junior year in high school and took his SATs a year early," Nick teased him.

"I was getting bored," Eddy shrugged.

"Doing my chores so you didn't have to wait for me to finish? Hitting the gym at 8 am on a Saturday so you don't have to wait for other guys to finish their routine?"

"He once finished my essay so I could get ready and be on time for a meeting," Carol-Ann chimed.

"Fine, OK," Eddy surrendered, "I don't like to waste my time waiting around for other people."

Among chuckles from his brother and his girlfriend Eddy picked up one of the menus: "This one is on Lincoln, that's on the other side of town, isn't it?"

**Sunday June 20 Seattle**

The black SUV came to a halt in front of the main entrance of the Grey residence and to Christian's surprise Elliot's Cadillac XTS was already parked to the side of the steps. On a normal day it was even odds whether Elliot would be early, on time or late. Katherine however, was invariably late. For people to change such ingrained habits they usually need a strong incentive and as he stretched his hand to help Samantha out of the car, Christian was pondering just what kind of incentive could have induced Katherine Grey to change her irritating habit.

A birthday lunch was a tradition Grace Grey would not compromise on, family feuds or no family feuds, so Christian with Samantha and Elliot with Kate and Ava had all been summoned to celebrate Christian's 51st birthday.

"Dad, something wrong?" Samantha asked him noticing his frown.

"No." he answered and half turned towards the entrance but had to stop when Samantha wouldn't move.

"If you go inside looking like that even grandma will notice something is wrong," she pointed out.

Oh course he knew what she meant, nevertheless he raised an eyebrow at her: "And how do I look?"

"Much better now," Samantha giggled. "C'mon I can't wait for Chantelle's chocolate cake."

"I thought it was my birthday. My birthday, my cake," he pointed out

"Well, that point is going to be moot if we don't hurry up. Uncle Elliot is here," she jutted her chin towards the parked car.

Shaking his head Christian followed his daughter up the stairs and into the foyer of his childhood home. The soft murmur of voices from the left indicated that the rest of the family was gathered in the drawing room. Grace was seated in her armchair at one end of the low table, with Elliot occupying the other arm chair and Kate and Ava's heads just visible over the back rest of the couch facing away from the entrance.

"Christian, Sam, you're here!" Grace said and took hold of both armrests to stand from the armchair.

In two strides Christian was by her side: "Hi mom, don't get up."

"Nonsense, I didn't see you in over a week." Grace said, and now standing placed both her hands on Christian's upper arms.

Secure in the knowledge that her hands will not wonder anywhere else, Christian embraced his mother in the half hug they had perfected years ago, and kissed her head, then let her go and carefully helped her back in her seat then went to shake hands with his brother and nod towards Katherine and Ava: "Katherine, Ava."

"Man, I hope you are hungry because Chantelle has cooked a three course meal and the cake is even bigger than mine was," Elliot said from where he was now standing up at the other end of the table.

All trace of good humour vanished from Christian's face as he squared his shoulders and employed his board room voice to declare: "Elliot, I swear to God, if you as much as smelled my cake I will tell governor Roberts just how much you have missed playing golf with him."

"What? No! What are you, five?" Elliot protested.

As his brother didn't seem to back down he challenged: "You wouldn't do that to me!"

Christian leaned his head to one side in silent acceptance of the challenge.

"It wasn't me!" Elliot protested.

It was too much for the woman whose creation was the object of the dispute. The supressed laughter made the tray of small plates filled with the entrees shake and she quickly placed it on the table then turned to look at the two middle aged, respected business men, bickering about her chocolate cake: "Don't worry Mr Christian, I have the cake under lock and key until it's time to bring it out."

With the nibbles now on the table the next event was opening the presents.

One of their traditions had started ten years previously, when GEH had reached the 20 billion USD mark and Elliot had bought him an oversized wallet. Since then he had invariably got a new wallet from Elliot, and this year was no different: a modular built-it-yourself contraption where various modules could be added or removed with holders for everything from money and credit cards to a mirror and phone charger.

Samantha had unveiled a 12 inches bonsai tree to add to their collection, this one a Barbados cherry tree complete with edible fruits reminiscent of the East European morellos they had discovered on a recent trip to Poland and East Europe.

Finally Grace offered him an envelope with the names and contact details of eight plastic surgeons from various parts of the country all willing to participate in the scheme Christian was trying to start intended to benefit children and teenagers with scars and other deformities where the cosmetic treatment was not covered by existing insurance schemes.

Between playing with the modular wallet, discussing where to place the new bonsai tree and Christian revealing to the rest of the family the half formed plans for his latest charity endeavour, the nibbles soon disappeared from the plates and it was time to move onto the more formal setting of the dinner table.

"Christian, would you like to choose the wine?" Grace asked, as Chantelle informed them the main course would consist of herb crusted salmon with sautéed garlic potatoes and rocket and pine nuts salad.

It should have only taken him a couple of minutes to return with the wine bottles from the cellar room adjoining the kitchen, but as he turned around with two bottles of Domaine Dujac Gevrey Chambertin 2014, the tall, slim, carefully maintained figure of Katherine Kavanaugh Grey was leaning against the wall by the closed door.

Katherine must have followed him quite closely to get in before the door - built to automatically close, lest the carefully controlled temperature and humidity of the room became affected by the climate in the rest of the house – shut behind him. Intrigued he raised a questioning eyebrow at the sister in law with whom he rarely spoke and then only to exchange common platitudes.

"Christian, there is something I would like to tell you, but I need your assurance that this conversation will remain private," she said walking further into the room to where he stood by the racks of bottles.

"Does the privacy stipulation include Elliot?" Christian enquired.

"Yes," Kate answered in a firm voice, meeting her brother in law's unrelenting stare with one of her own.

"In this case, I am afraid I cannot comply with your request," Christian answered and moved to the side table to uncork the bottles.

"You don't know what I have to say," Katherine pointed out.

As he extracted first the one then the other cork from the aged bottles of wine, Christian spoke in a carefully measured tone: "Whether you choose to divulge the information or not is your choice, but if I believe Elliot should know, then you can count on me telling him."

"Why? What is it with you two always putting each other above everybody else? I have a brother too you know, but I wouldn't tell him something I have found out in confidence."

"Then I suggest you might want to re-examine your relationship with your brother. And I have not made any promise of confidence, quite the opposite."

"You and Elliot are not even blood related!" Kate exclaimed exasperated by Christian's cold and dismissive attitude.

"How can you have been a part of this family for twenty years and not grasped the fact that not sharing a common genetic pool has nothing to do with how we feel about each other?" Christian countered.

As Katherine showed every sign of getting increasingly frustrated and fearing she will launch into another tirade, Christian took hold of both bottles and spoke first: "If you need a moment to compose yourself, I trust you will find your way back to the dining room?"

With that he took two determined steps towards the door but Katherine's voice stopped him before he made it out of the room.

"It's about Ana," she showed her trump card and as she had expected the words stopped Christian in his tracks.

What she had not expected was for the distant and detached attitude he had displayed up until that moment to be replaced by a look of pure rage. As the intensity of the cold gray stare compelled her to take a step backwards, Christian regained control of himself and at least his face if not his eyes once again relaxed into an impassive expression: "Any information you might have on that subject is years overdue and too late to make a difference, not to mention coming from a highly unreliable source," Christian said and added: "Do not ever again try and blackmail me."

And then he was finally out of the cellar room and made his way through the kitchen and the corridor to the room where the rest of his family was waiting, leaving Katherine to compose herself as best she could before re-joining them.

Once everybody was seated and the main course served the older generation engaged in discussions related to the Seattle society and everyday occurrences while the two cousins mostly discussed their upcoming prom. Finally the cake was served and as promised it was not only delicious but large enough that not even half had been eaten once everybody had been served.

"Speaking of which," Elliot finished a previous sentence, "I did try to get in touch with you all day yesterday."

"Yes, I saw the missed calls. I was in a meeting on the East Coast, didn't get to see the calls until late last night," Christian answered a little vague.

Samantha shifted in her seat to his left and from his right Grace voiced her concern: "We could have had dinner instead Christian, if you have been travelling half the night."

Between his mother and his daughter, seated opposite his brother and with the memories of his second meeting with Teddy fresh in his mind, Christian's priorities shifted a little and as he stretched his arm to help himself to a second portion of cake he realized some of his reasons for being evasive were no longer valid. As he had told Teddy on the boat: "This is now."

He pulled his arm back and let his eyes roam over Elliot and his wife and daughter. The only reason he had left to maintain this particular secret was to preserve Kate's image in front of Grace and perhaps to not provoke a difficult discussion between Elliot and his wife. But if Teddy were to come to Seattle...

"It's OK mom. Actually I was in Charleston, sailing." He answered then turned to Elliot: "Are you done eating my cake?"

Alerted by Christian's words and demeanour, Elliot answered, a little surprised: "I suppose I am now."

Christian nodded and turned to Samantha: "Sam, I am going to bring that packet from the car. Perhaps you and Ava would rather spend some time just the two of you? I think the rest of us will have our coffees in the drawing room. If that's OK, mom?" he finished addressing his mother.

Kate put her fork down slowly at Christian's admission of where he had spent the previous day and the way he had just taken over and practically arranged a meeting between the older Greys.

Neither Christian nor Elliot had confronted her after Teddy's graduation so she had kept a little hope alive that neither of them knew of her involvement and interaction with Ana through the years, but now Christian's words from earlier - 'Any information you might have on that subject is years overdue and too late to make a difference.' – took on an ominous meaning. What she had thought was just another example of the man's arrogance she now suspected was in fact the literal truth. And it occurred to her that his refusal to hear her out was more than the fact that he did not need the information: he was cutting her out, shutting the door that had, despite everything, been left at least slightly ajar between them.

'_If I believe Elliot should know, then you can count on me telling him'_, he had said. Not that he would necessarily tell Elliot everything but…Just how much did Christian know and more importantly how much did he intend to tell Elliot?

As she sat lost in her thoughts the girls and Christian had already left the table and Grace was giving instructions to Chantelle. Only Elliot remained beside her and even he stood up then asked her: "Kate, are you coming?"

Her wild stare met Elliot's steady one and a moment passed between the spouses.

"I don't know, exactly, what Christian has in mind, but he doesn't need to fly to the other side of the country if all he wants to do is sail, and he doesn't need to send the girls away just to tell us about his latest adventures on the water," Elliot warned

"Elliot…" Kate started with a strangled voice.

"I think it's time to face the music Katie girl," Elliot admitted confirming some of her deepest fears.

"You know?"

"That you have been in touch with Ana and Teddy? Yes I do."

"But…When? How?..."

"This is not the time or the place, Kate. Perhaps when we get home later, I think the two of us need to talk."

Kate and Elliot had just made their way to the drawing room were Grace was already seated in her armchair, as Christian entered with a small rectangular packet in his hand. All eyes turned to him but he focused on Elliot: "Elliot, there is something I would like to share with you and mom. Katherine is welcome to stay, if she wishes."

The gray eyes were now looking at her, cold and distant, unrelenting, and a memory from a long time ago - the first time she had met those eyes that challenged her and measured her – resurfaced reminding her of her first impression of the man: Christian Grey was dangerous.

"No, that's fine; I'll leave the three of you to it. I'll see you at home Elliot?"

As Elliot nodded she went to say her goodbyes to Grace, then collected the car keys from Elliot and left the house with no doubt remaining in her mind that she and Elliot will finally have to put their cards on the table.

With Kate gone, Elliot sat on the couch and Christian grabbed one of the chairs and moved it close to Grace's armchair then reached out to take his mother's hand in his own and kept his voice gentle and slow as he spoke mostly for her: "I didn't want to say anything, raise anybody's hopes, until I had a better idea of what was going to happen, but… I have met with Teddy last week and we talked a little and this weekend I took him sailing. We have made plans to meet again the week after next."

He stopped and allowed his mother to process the words and as her eyes filled with tears he gave her hand a small reassuring squeeze: "Teddy and I are getting to know each other and I think it's going well," he finished and reached over with his other hand to wipe a tear from Grace's face.

"Oh, Christian," is all Grace found the power to say then took over from Christian the task of wiping her tears away. "Christian, I am so happy for you and for him! I have been waiting for this, hoping and praying for this…When, how? You have always been so stubborn about it…" Grace was practically babbling.

Christian smiled at her and let his own happiness shine through as he admitted: "I know mom, I know. He found out about me and he wanted to meet me."

"Of course he did, you silly, silly boy."

"It's more complicated than that, mom, and you know it," Christian gently chided her, "but it happened, and for now I am simply grateful that we are speaking and seeing each other. As I suspected, he had no idea who I was, who his father was, and why he was not part of his life. He is taking all of this remarkably well, considering, but he needs some time to adjust, to come to terms with all of it."

"Christian," Elliot's gruffy voice interrupted and forced Christian to move his attention away from his mother. "That's…As mother says that's great news. You took him sailing?"

Christian only nodded as the brothers shared in a look what they could not put into words.

"Did he…?" Elliot let his words trail, overwhelmed by all the possibilities and the consequences of this surprising turn in his brother's life. "Did he remember?" he finished his question.

"Sailing? No. He was too young," Christian answered and oddly not sounding particularly sad.

Grace would understand, but Elliot obviously needed an explanation: "I knew he wouldn't remember, Elliot. I have been time and again warned to not expect any of that. He did however remember something, a piano piece I used to play for him. It's probably his only memory of me but it's a start. I hope to build new ones, in time."

"Christian," Grace called his attention back to her: "Tell me about him. How do the two of you get along? What are you talking about? How is he? I know he must be smart and hardworking but so little else…" she stopped as she caught herself once again babbling.

"It's a little early for all of that mom, but he is …smart, considerate, sensitive, and very brave, he has a sense of humour... He doesn't really back down and he teased me about the cars. He gave me a present, for my birthday," Christian admitted as if he was confessing a great secret then picked up the wrapped packet from the table and handed it to Grace.

Between smiles and frowns and moments spent waiting for Grace to regain some of her composure and more than once interrupted by a question from either Grace or Elliot, Christian then shared with his mother and brother the details of his two meetings with his son.

"I have asked him to consider coming over and he said he will think about it," he finished his tale.

"Christian, you know how much I would like to meet him," Grace said.

"I know mom, I'm working on it," then he added looking at the phone he had placed on the table moments before: "Samantha wonders if she and Ava can join us."

Grace placed a hand on his arm: "Does she know? I presume she knows you have seen Teddy but does she know he is coming here?"

"Yes, mom, of course she knows. It was late when I got home last night but I did tell her this morning."

"And how did she take it?"

"Sam? She was happy, she is looking forward to meeting him. She sees Teddy as her brother, you know that," Christian answered his mother a little puzzled as to where this was going.

Grace sighed: "A theoretical brother. Somebody you would fly over to see two or three times a year. For the rest of the time it's just you and her. You are her whole world Christian."

"Mom," Christian turned to Grace with no trace of levity left in his voice or his expression: "I know that. It is the main reason I have never kept anything from her. But the way we live, she misses having someone to share it with. She has Ava and she has friends coming over, but it's not the same. She is really looking forward to a time where he might be a part of her life. My only concern is that Teddy would not feel the same. That what Sam hopes for will not happen."

"Did you speak with him about it?"

"I told you I have spoken to him about all of you and that included Samantha. But other than that, I think we are both mostly focused on getting to know each other first, finding out where we are with respect to one another before we introduce other people into the equation. Much as I wish things were different, I have only met him twice. Which reminds me," he added and turned to Elliot: "I only found out this morning, but Ava knows about Teddy and why he has not been a part of the family. She found a picture in Sam's room a few years ago."

"So the only person who doesn't know you have found them is Katherine," Grace commented. "But you invited her to stay if she wanted…" she frowned trying to figure out just what Christian had had in mind.

"Yes, I did. There is no longer any point in maintaining the secrecy while making plans for Teddy to come to Seattle," Christian deflected his mother from digging any further.

"What about Mia?" Grace asked.

"Can you give me a little more time on that one? If …When," he corrected himself, "Teddy agrees to come here, I'll let her know myself. Until then…You know how she will react. She won't leave well enough alone. I don't want to scare him away mom, and Mia will be relentless."

Reluctantly Grace agreed. Beginnings were a difficult time and there were enough other things she knew they would have to address, preferably before meeting Teddy, the most difficult of which was the issue of the boy's mother. She knew how Christian felt about her and had no doubt that Teddy would be attached to his mother, but for herself Grace Trevelyan Grey only found one redeeming factor in favour of Anastasia: she had once made her son happy, if only for a short while. The devastation that had followed that brief period of happiness was however something her mother's heart had not been able to either forget or forgive.

**AN: next week a bit of Ana...I think/hope. Still a work in progress that one**


	40. Summer Storm Ch39 The 4th of July

**AN: Quite a few of you have asked about Ana and perhaps you are right that we have lost track of her a little bit while dealing with Teddy and Christian. So here it is, all in one go, what had been going on with Ana. **

**Side note: The city of Rock Hill actually celebrates all of the national holidays a day early. Go figure… **

**B characters in this chapter: the Robinsons and Donnells are Ana and Dan's neighbours and friends, Adam Barns is their lawyer (the one Christian vetted). **

**Time line wise it is now six weeks since Teddy's graduation and just over two months since Christian's first letter to Ana.**

Ch 39 The Fourth of July

Saturday 3rd of July, Rock Hill

Ana finished tidying up the kitchen after the family breakfast and then took her cup of tea out in the garden. Eddy was on his way to meet with Christian and she was…nowhere really, caught between her past and her present, her future firmly put on hold.

Just over two months ago Sawyer had brought her Christian's letter and her life had started unravelling. The measure of peace she had achieved had all been blown to nothingness. The realization of how wrong her decision to take Teddy away with her, her father and Kate's manipulation of her life, the growing unease she felt when she tried to piece together the puzzle of Christian's actions back then and since, all of these added fuel to the maelstrom of emotions constantly raging inside her.

'_He knows. He has known for some time. He won't interfere._' She knew Christian had meant that, and irrationally, selfishly, even after all this time, the pain of knowing he was willing to let her go had reawakened.

His letter, formulated to let her know that he remembered the compromise they had negotiated, still puzzled her. He had not been able to live without that other aspect of his life, the part where she could not follow him without losing herself. Why remind her of that? The best explanation she had come up with, was that he meant to let her know he remembered what she wanted from life and why she could not be with him. His way of acknowledging that he could not, in the end, give her that.

Yet in the month that followed the meeting with Sawyer every single new discovery of how Christian had been involved in her life broke her heart a little more: he still felt responsible for her, compelled to take care of her. Was he apologizing for the promise he had not been able to keep?

Elliot telling her that Christian had been as devastated as she had and possibly worse, had instantly catapulted her back to that time when she had first left him, reminding her of the raw suffering they had both endured, and, again, of their compromise born out of the need to make the pain stop. They had both been sincere, they had both been willing, but Christian had conceded more than she had in that exchange. He had tried to become the man she wanted while she had only agreed to pretend to be the woman he needed, only occasionally and only in play.

And then she had been in the same room with him. No longer watching him from across a room full of people but within touching distance, and knew from the second he entered the room that nothing had changed between them: the electrical charge that made her skin tighten, the insane attraction, the roar from every single cell in her body recognizing her mate, her other half, and with it the fear that had prevented her from giving in to him, the knowledge that it was too much, that she could lose herself in him and never find her way back. She had to make a choice: either run or stretch out a hand and quit fighting. At the time, still shocked by Elliot's tale and worried about her son, she had remained frozen in her spot on the couch and once again left Christian behind, with nothing resolved between them.

Those few moments had come back to haunt her dreams and more than once in the morning she had had to face her mirror image and remind herself that she had a family and responsibilities. Emma needed both her parents and Eddy was already torn between his feelings for Dan and his efforts to build a relationship with Christian.

The week after her confession to her family it had become clear that her first priority had to be to maintain as much stability as she could in their household.

As desperately as she needed to talk to Christian, to hear his story and tell him hers and give both of them a chance to heal, their few conversations so far had been so emotionally charged that she had refrained from contacting him again. She tried to give him the space to concentrate on building his relationship with his son and started working on building up her own self-confidence, on figuring out who she was and what she really wanted from here on. She had run from Seattle to start a new life, to give herself a chance for a new beginning and had ended up more or less giving up, allowing the days and the years to pass. She had put all her energy into raising her children, ironically giving up the very thing that had created a problem between her and Christian: her ambition, her dream of a career.

Linda had suggested going to the gym with her: '_You don't need to train for anything. It's just a way to build some physical strength and endurance and gain some confidence in your body_.' So far it was working. Even the discomfort she experienced in the first couple of days after each session worked to remind her of her body and her physical appearance, and she had found herself straightening her posture in the mirror and making an effort to hold in her belly.

Then there were the links Linda had sent her. After the ones linking to domestic abuse and the tell-tale signs of such relationships, Linda had written _'Some of the things you said made me wonder…' _followed by two links which, she had been horrified to discover, led to two sites discussing Dominance and Submission. Not as much the sexual aspect as the requirements of living in a 24/7 D/s relationship. From there she had embarked on a journey of learning more about a life style that she had spent her whole adult life running from. Most of the information was as unsettling and disturbing to her now as it had been in her youth, and time after time she had arrived at the same conclusion: she was not meant to be a submissive, not even to Christian. Yet some of what she read appealed to her, and it was not just about submitting in the bedroom. She now had an account on a chat forum were, hidden behind the anonymity of a random user name, she had finally started to try and formulate her questions and her doubts and get some answers.

Taking care of the needs of her family, becoming more confident about her body if not yet her persona and resolving her fears and doubts about what she really wanted from a relationship, all of these were good, solid goals, if only she had a chance to work on them. But life kept interfering and her past kept intruding.

Ten days ago she was on her way to her room upstairs when she heard Christian's voice coming from Eddy's room. Taken by surprise she had frozen in her spot in the corridor:

"_Eddy, I'm sorry that this is so…complicated. Perhaps I should have told you, if you are in any doubt, that I would like nothing better than for the whole world to know."_

"_No, it's fine, I understand. I am not sure I am ready to deal with that part, at least not yet. But I was thinking, about the 3__rd__, what I have in mind is a little more public and perhaps it's not such a good idea after all."_

"_Can you let me know what it is?"_

"_Well, I assumed that Charlotte would be a better option as it is a bigger city. There is a Martial Arts demonstration in the morning and I promised a friend I will help. My part won't take long, ten minutes on the mat and time to change. Maybe we could meet afterwards instead, somewhere more private. If you can stay that long, I have tickets for a concert in the evening, Dvorak. I thought you would be more comfortable in a stall…" _Eddy had let his voice trail_._

"_That sounds like a great plan, Eddy. I am really looking forward to it. Would you consider allowing me to ensure it all goes as planned? I might have to involve the security team but they will be discreet."_

"_Actually that would be a relief; I am a little out of my depth here."_

As her heart pounded against her chest reminding her she needed to breathe, her mind reconnected with the rest of her body and forced her legs to move away. Pushing with one hand against the wall her other hand had reflexively gone to rub her face and she had been surprised to feel the moisture on her cheeks. She hadn't realized that she was crying.

Teddy and Christian: how could she ever forgive herself for keeping them apart?

The guilt only reinforced her determination to not have any further contact with Christian until she was strong enough, confident enough, to speak with him without appearing hurt and needy. She was no longer his responsibility; she had to let him see that she was coping on her own.

Then last weekend Dan had been cutting the grass and done some of the digging in the flower beds while Eddy had applied a fresh coat of paint to the table and chairs in the garden. She joined them in the kitchen afterwards, as they were seated in the kitchen with a plate of sandwiches and in the middle of a conversation:

"_Charlotte, next Saturday. I have a friend who is trying to launch a club and people don't know that much about Taekwondo so I promised I'll help," _Eddy was saying.

"_I didn't realize you were doing public demonstrations," _Dan had commented and then added_: "I thought you were going to meet with Christian next Saturday."_

"_I am. He is coming to the demo and then we'll go for lunch and I have tickets to a concert in the evening." _

"_Classical music?"_

"_Yes, Dvorak. Dad, I didn't think you would want to see the demos. You have seen me train before, it really isn't much more. Actually it's less, as it only lasts about ten minutes."_

She had had to make a hasty retreat from the kitchen. Hearing Eddy justifying himself to Dan had been yet another powerful reminder of what a heavy burden she had placed on her son. She couldn't allow herself to add to the trouble in his life. Her marriage to Dan had moved from being mostly 'friends with benefits' into a co-habiting and co-parenting formula. But even if Christian was only indirectly responsible for the increasing distance between her and her husband, Eddy might not see things that way. She was certain his loyalty would be with Dan and put yet more strain on his fledgling relationship with Christian. She had to remain Anabelle Parson, at least for now.

That decision had lasted all of two days.

Five days ago, the Monday just gone, she and Dan had met with the lawyer to finalize the paperwork for the trust funds. Adam Barns also had news about her name change: as it had been arranged via the Witness Protection Programme it turned out that the procedure had been the same as for any other name change, except that the records were sealed. All she needed to do was file a motion for the records to be unsealed and appear in front of a judge, in Seattle, then she could obtain proof of the name change and deal with her properties as she saw fit.

With no more excuses to procrastinate she had had to sit down and actually think around the practicalities of selling GP and the house and found herself torn between her rational mind telling her that she could not keep them, and her soul shattering at the idea of these two symbols of what she and Christian once shared falling into a stranger's hand. And if she felt that way, despite not having been involved for almost two decades, it dawned on her that she had to inform Christian of her decision and at least give him a chance to have his say.

Tuesday evening she had sent him a text: _'There is something I need to discuss with you. Can you please call me when you are free?'_

He had called her back within a few minutes.

"_Hello Christian."_

"_Ana. Is everything all right?"_

"_Yes, yes, it is," she replied a little breathless from the effort of keeping her emotions under control and then hurried to give him her pre-prepared speech before she lost her courage and her composure: "It's about the house and GP. I can't keep them, Christian. I hope you'll understand. I thought you would like to know."_

_A moment's pause and then his voice sounding a little more distant than before: "I was hoping you would keep them,"_

"_I wish I could, I really do, but I can't."_

"_I can understand about the house. But would you consider keeping GP? There is very little you need to do. There is a leadership team in place to run the day to day business."_

"_Christian…Owning the company is not just about cashing a cheque, no matter how good the team is. We both know that. And it's not only about me…"_

"_Would you be willing to consider an alternative?" he interrupted her half-formed explanation._

"_An alternative?" she asked, one elbow propped on the table and her head resting heavily on her hand. Of course Christian would have more than one solution to a problem!_

"_If neither of us can continue to manage it, there are other options. You could hire an intermediary, a managing company. You wouldn't have to get involved at all."_

"_This is important to you, isn't it?"_

"_Yes."_

_The answer had been immediate and final and it occurred to her that if she kept the company, as long as it was doing well she would at least be financially secure. Christian would no longer have a reason to try and look after her._

"_OK. I'll have to think about it a little, but OK."_

"_The properties are in the name of Anastasia Steele," Christian reminded her and his voice had softened again._

"_I know, I will have to ask for the court records to be unsealed. The name change was done via the courts,"_ _she stopped babbling as the reminder of her deception made her cheeks burn._

_Another pause then Christian asked in that soft, almost intimate tone of voice that tore at every fibre of her being:_ _"How are you holding up?"_

"_Me?"_ _she exclaimed surprised at the question._ _"This is not about me, Christian. How are you?"_

"_Ana, I know this can't be easy for you,"_ _he deflected the question back to her._

_She scrunched her eyes until it was actually a little painful:_ _"I am happy that you and Teddy are talking and seeing each other, nothing else matters right now. He told us a little about the sailing. God, Christian, I am so, so, sorry for keeping him away from you, for keeping the two of you apart._"

"_Ana_," _Christian interrupted her again,_ "_we've been over this already. I had a choice too. And I am sorry as well. I am sorry I left you alone in Montesano. I should have come to you, I shouldn't have listened…_"

Christian had abruptly stopped talking and she had realized this was probably part of the things he had mentioned he would rather tell her face to face. But he didn't need to fear her reaction. She already knew how that sentence was going to end so she had finished it for him:

"_To Ray. I know he blocked my phone and kept your letters from me, and that he talked to you._"

_The silence at the other end of the phone acquired a different quality: heavy and…deep. _

"_You do?"_ _Christian's voice sounded neutral, indifferent almost._

"_Yes, I…"_ _she started then figured out why the change in attitude._ "_Not then. I didn't know then. If I had known…I only found out a month ago._"

_At first his breathing was back on the line and then his voice, not quite as warm as it had been, but no longer cold and indifferent:_ "_We need to talk Ana, but I still don't want to do this over the telephone._"

"_I know."_

"_I will be meeting Teddy next Saturday, in Charlotte."_

Did he imply he would want to meet her then? Her mind went blank with fear and all she could manage was a stuttered: "_Christian, I…I…"_

And then it was there: that charge between them had flared out of nowhere and threatened to engulf her, the longing to be in his presence consuming her until she was left panting for breath.

"_Please," she pleaded. "I need some time."_

"_OK, it's ok. I understand," he tried to pacify her._

_The intensity receded and her breathing slowed down some._

"_I have asked him to come to Seattle. I know it's soon but I want to make the most of this summer to get to know each other," Christian told her, gently, almost apologetically._

_Hoping that the tears stinging her eyes wouldn't show in her voice she put as much sincerity as she could in her words: "Yes, he told us. I hope he does."_

"_You will have to come too, won't you? You'll have to go to court…"_

"_Yes."_

"_Do you know when?"_

"_No, but soon, I think."_

"_You won't let me take care of …the practicalities, will you?"_

"_No."_

_Christian sighed: "Perhaps you are right. We should give it some time, let things settle a little. Maybe in September, after Teddy starts at Harvard?"_

"_September sounds good, yes."_

And so now she had a dead line to meet: she had to be ready to face Christian by September.

Her cold tea indicating she had been lost in thought for some time she sighed and tried to gather her composure for the rest of the day.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

She hadn't even noticed Dan coming out and taking a seat across from her.

"The youngsters have scattered and left us to ourselves," he informed her and she nodded. Emma had a rehearsal for the 4th of July play and Nick was not due home until the next morning.

"I am heading out to the gym. Are you meeting Linda?" Dan enquired.

"Yes. Gym and then we have a hair appointment, but I'll be home right after that."

"OK. Do you need me to get anything for tomorrow?"

"Maybe some beers and some water. I think I have everything else."

"Belle, about tomorrow, are you still OK with telling the children about the trust funds."

Ana nodded: "Yes. As soon as Nick gets here."

**Sunday 4****th**** of July**

As agreed, Ana and Dan informed their children of the changes they had made for the trust funds. Starting from the following month for the boys and from after her eighteen's birthday for Emma, they all now had an yearly allowance of fifty thousand dollars for 'living costs', with the rest of the money still available for education and health expenses. While Eddy just looked embarrassed, Emma had quite a few questions mostly about using the money to pay for extra dance lessons and cosmetic surgery for her legs. But the reason Ana and Dan had agreed to share the news with their children immediately, was Nick. For him the change meant he could quit his job and go back to school for the masters and if he was going to start the lengthy application process he had to make his decision soon.

And then it was time to leave for their day in the park and the fireworks.

When she had first arrived in Rock Hill, the town had a quirky habit of celebrating the 4th one day early and the celebration was rather subdued. Most people, she had been informed, left town for the day, to celebrate in Carolina or Charlotte or even further away. After Emma's second birthday a fireworks display started to take place in Cherry Park on the actual day. Over the years the reputation of the fireworks had spread and instead of people leaving town for the day, others had started to come from surrounding areas and the event had grown to include dance and music numbers followed by a dance band, with the fireworks being the culmination of what now was 2-3 hours of free entertainment. Cherry Park had become too small to host the event and since the storm the celebration was now taking place in Manchester Meadows.

The downside of it was that anyone wanting to have good seats for any of the shows which started at seven had to be there before five. Slowly, over time, out of Ana and Cheryl Robinson's love of fireworks and their husbands' frustration with traffic jams and lack of parking spaces, a tradition had been born. The Parsons and the Robinsons would leave together sometime around 4.30 and most years the Donnells and Linda would also join them. Nowadays that made a group of fifteen including the children taking their places early by an old oak tree a little to the left of the pavilion.

This year their routine was going to be a little different. With Emma and Nick involved in the shows going on around the park, Ana and Dan left the others and went to watch the show Emma's dance club had put together, including her choreography of, of all the available sound tracks, 'Money, Money' from the musical Cabaret.

Waiting for Emma's dance routine to start, Dan and Ana sat mostly in silence as the space around them gradually filled with families and couples. Some of them they recognized - other parents coming to cheer their children – but most were strangers. Talking, laughing, setting up picnic blankets and chairs…

"Why the fourth of July?" Dan said looking at the several dozen people now surrounding them.

"Sorry, what do you mean?"

"Christian. You said he was coming to Rock Hill on the fourth of July. That doesn't make much sense. We are almost never home. Granted we have our usual gathering spot and that would make it easier to find us in the crowd, but still. Why choose a time when we are surrounded by so many others and easy to lose in the crowd?"

She had forgotten. With everything else going on…Her eyes darted around her, scanning the faces and the area, looking for…what exactly? A pair of gray eyes laser focused on her?

"I doubt you would spot him even if he is here," Dan brought her attention back to him.

His brown eyes were steady with no trace of hardness or sorrow. The bitter sweet regret that she was no longer able to give him even the little of herself she had previously shared, was all on her. But she could give him today. She could give her family today: a day of enjoying their daughter's achievements, a few care free hours with their friends and family, some lightness in the midst of the trouble her mistakes and her secrets had created for them. She shook her head:

"I don't know, Dan. I have not really thought about it. Maybe I'll ask, if you want to know, but not today. Let's just watch Emma perform and then join the others."

Several hours later the noisy group by the oak tree had shared the beers and the contents of the picnic baskets, chased the Robinson's and Donnell's children when they seemed to want to take off for parts unknown, recounted sometimes funny, sometimes frustrating events of their lives, joked and danced a little, and were now gathering their belongings in the dim lighting from the pavilion.

"Ladies and gentlemen" the disembodied voice boomed over the open area as soon as the music stopped playing. "I hope you have all enjoyed your time with us today. The time has come to welcome you to the 15th edition of the Rock Hill 4th of July fireworks display."

Scattered applauses and wolf whistles resonated around the park and then the music started again. Instead of the dance tunes that had played during the evening, a classical piece enveloped the audience as the first whistle of a rocket pierced the night and lit up the sky with streaks of white and red. Then a blue patch bloomed in one corner and the American Flag shone brightly over their heads for a couple of seconds.

Ana had always liked fireworks. When the instinctive fear caused by the thunder and whistling of the rockets exploded in a display of colours and the swirl of lights, the ever changing landscape in the sky lifted her spirits and suspended her in time: the fear had no reason to be, all that surrounded her was beauty and delightful surprise. For minutes on end she watched the lights in the sky and let them chase the shadows on her face from white to green then red and blue and yellow. When one continuous salvo of the bright lights lit the sky and the music quieted down to almost a whisper, she knew it was almost over. The signature final display was always entirely made of blue and silver and she held her breath for what she knew was about to come, a tiny irrelevant effort to try and make the time stop.

The music picked up again, a different tune, and silver streams of sparkling lights poured from the ground up all around her then a large silver chrysanthemum unfolded and covered the middle of the sky. As the silver slowly fell towards the ground and disappeared it was replaced by an identical display, this time in blue. From there on the silver and blue lights alternated in creating patterns, chasing each other from one side of the sky to the other, the music in the background picking up the tempo and becoming louder, the build-up unmistakable, but also a reminder that the show was about to end.

Perhaps it was to protect herself from the disappointment of the show ending, perhaps it was Dan shuffling besides her, or Emma jumping up and down, the movement drawing attention to her and to Eddy, but Dan's question from earlier on -'Why the fourth of July' - came back to haunt her just as the canons boomed all of them releasing their charges at once. The blue and the silver exploded in one final display, this time no longer creating individual patterns, but blended together in one magnificent chrysanthemum and Ana's vision blurred when her eyes filled with tears.

"Mom?" and "Jeez mom, are you all right?" the words rang against her ears, the voices loud in the momentary silence before the crowd exploded in applause. She couldn't face her children right now so she turned her head the other way where Dan was looking at her. He held her gaze as the concern in his traits slowly morphed to sadness and he took the one step separating them.

"Belle?"

"I think I know why the fourth of July," she answered, her voice just above a whisper.

**AN: Next chapter will start in Rock Hill with one of them reaching their breaking point.**


	41. Summer Storm Ch 40 Detour

**As promised one of them cracks. Let's see what happens when the waters start seeping through the walls they have build around them. **

**B characters: Mike (Donnell) is Dan and Ana's neighbour and friend, Adam Barns is their lawyer, Miss Bowles is Emma's dance teacher.**

**Ch 40 Detour**

**Monday, 5****th**** of July, Rock Hill**

Monday was back to business as usual but at the end of the workday instead of going straight home Dan Parson made a detour to the town centre for a bouquet of flowers and then took the fifteen minutes' drive towards the north part of the town.

The place was quiet on a Monday evening, as he had hoped it will be. Holding the flowers in one hand he first turned to the right and the wall with all the names encrusted in marble plates. He only stopped there for a moment though, his business was elsewhere.

Retracing his steps he took the path to the left and then, as he reached the white building he departed from the beaten path to the grass and the scattered trees. He found the spot he was looking for and sat down leaning the flowers on the stone. Despite the shadow from the nearby oak tree, the stone was warm from the summer heat and he couldn't stop himself from caressing the edge already rounded by the passage of time.

"Hello beautiful. It's only me this time. I'll bring the others later in the summer but for now there's something I just can't wrap my head around."

He leaned against the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes. His left hand stretched again to touch the stone but this time he just left it in one place, finding comfort in the solid material beneath his fingers.

He knew the pain of coming here was going to be brief. He let it run its course until the turmoil died of its own accord leaving behind only the good memories of the short few years he had shared with Jane.

"I have been selfish and only thought of myself, Kitten, and I know what you would have to say about that, but you know how it was. Me and Nick we were a little lost and then Belle and Eddy came around and they looked about as lost as we were. One thing led to another and, well, you know most of that part. But now that ex-husband of hers is back in the picture and I just can't figure out those two.

I know she still loves him. She said so and I have seen how heartbroken she still is over him. And him…He is this larger than life figure. A symbol, a leader, everything about him screaming of wealth and power and he is not apologizing for any of it. Mind you he was courteous, respectful even, with me, but there was no pretence that I am his equal. He just gave me permission to act as if I was. Anyway, that's him until she comes around and whispers his name. Then all of a sudden he is on one knee in front of her and he is just a man pleading with his woman. They went on like that, that evening at the hospital. She'd said she had compromised, negotiated, with him before, but with the Belle I know, that was hard to believe. That night, a few words from her and his anger would melt away. When he had to take a call from the Governor she teased him over the way he answered his phone and he just smiled! He didn't just take care of the practical matters in her life or of Eddy and Emma's needs; he built her a park and filled it with her favourite flowers and the fireworks last night…Yet she has this notion that he has moved on and has a different life now, only doing all of that out of a sense of duty."

Dan remained quiet for a long moment trying to formulate his question.

"She is the one who knows him best and her father was afraid of him. So maybe I'm reading this all wrong. But she is changing, has already changed a lot. She pays attention to herself and sits up straight and looks people in the eye. Mike has noticed last night and teased her about becoming a Director. She blushed but didn't look away…I guess that what I'm trying to say is that I would like to know where we're at, where all of this is going. I don't want to lose what we have and Emma is going to need both of us around her if she is going to go through with the surgery, but I also don't think I can put up much longer with seeing Belle torn the way she is between her past and her present. She said she left it all behind once and she can do that again, but for now they are only dancing around each other she and her ex, still haven't talked to one another… I know I'm being selfish, again, but I would like her to make a decision and I don't think she can make it from here."

**Friday 16****th**** of July, Charlotte**

Tired from an almost sleepless night followed by an early departure, Eddy surveyed his surroundings: the seats were wider and there were only two of them in a row. The small sectioned area had a feeling of intimacy rather than the one of mass transportation he remembered from the three other times he had been on a plane. Around him, the first class section was already full and he and his mother were clearly the odd ones out. The rest of their companions were eight men all dressed in suits and two women also dressed for the office. In contrast, he was wearing jeans and a tee-shirt and his mother was in a knee-long sleeveless dress and low heeled shoes, dressed more for a day out in town than for a business meeting.

The first class tickets were a compromise: the only way his mother had convinced Christian to not send a plane for them. He was going to Seattle. The 6 am flight was because his mother had a meeting to attend, but for himself he was going to spend the Friday and Saturday with his biological father and the rest of the family. Regardless of all the reassurance he had been given both by Christian and by his mother, he knew that who they loved and were looking forward to meet was the idea of him. Himself as Edward Parson was as much a stranger to them as they were to him. Yet there was something to be said for goodwill and willingness, and after his third meeting with Christian there was really no other way to move things forward but for him to go to Seattle.

The choice of the day was not really his either. Although he could have said no, when his mother told him she had to go and his dad suggested he went with her, there had been no real reason for him to decline.

Ana was in the aisle seat beside her son, all her energy consumed by the effort to maintain an appearance of calm. She was on her way to Seattle: the place where she had been alive, in love, and happy, just to have all of it crumble to dust around her. From a vague suspicion, from a small seed of doubt, a wall of silence had grown between her and Christian and behind that wall Seattle was now the scene of a crime: the lesser fault of her best friend's lies and cowardice leading to the more severe one of her father's misplaced protectiveness and manipulation and culminating in her unforgivable decision to take Teddy and hide him from his father. She was going to meet with a judge and she was going to get proof, a legal document, connecting who she was now with the person she had been then.

Anastasia Rose Steele. She had repeated the name to herself, much as she had had to repeat the Anabelle one in the early days... and a few times in the past couple of months. She was caught between the two and she knew Dan had been right when he had told her that she had to make a choice. But how do you choose? How does one choose between who they want to be and who they need to be? So she had agreed to go to Seattle to reconnect with her past and try to blend it into her present, accept who she had been rather than run from it and hide.

Ten days ago, a quick call to Adam Barns had informed her there was going to be a waiting time of several months to get a court appointment and a warning that the request to unseal the documents and the unsealed file would be in the public domain. Not advertised per se, and whomever would want to read them would have to apply to the court, but the names would appear in the list of cases and that, he didn't need to tell her, was prime journalistic fodder: a juicy morsel to sink their teeth into and then speculate at will.

So she had had no choice but to call Christian, again. He had returned her call the same evening with the name of a judge and three dates when he was available to hear her case, in chambers.

Any hope she had had of gaining a bit more time had been quickly squashed when Emma and Miss Bowles had asked to speak with her and Dan. Miss Bowles' friend had seen Emma's choreography and encouraged Emma to apply to the Marymount Manhattan College. That was in New York and they had an open day on the 24th of July, the day after the second date the judge had to offer. Three weeks later, on the last date the judge had offered, they had an appointment with a plastic surgeon…

The flight attendant started her routine as the plane began to move on the runway and soon the engine noise escalated and the plane gained speed. Ana gripped both armrests and curled her fingers tight around them as the plane started shaking with the final acceleration and shut her eyes trying to control her breathing until she felt a hand covering hers.

"I didn't remember you were afraid of flying."

"Not of flying, just the take-off and the landing."

"Um, I can hold your hand?" her son offered and she couldn't help a giggle escaping despite her fear.

"I'm OK, just give me a minute."

"Yeah, right," he said and took her left hand in his as the plane angled upwards.

xXx

Both of them had dozed on and off on the two and a half hour flight and now a bit more awake, they were sharing breakfast in the first class lounge of the Dallas Fort Worth airport.

"Eddy, we haven't really spoken much you and I in the last month or so," Ana started, unsure of what she wanted to say, merely offering an opening for Eddy to talk to her.

"No, we haven't," he said keeping his eyes on the cup holding a soft boiled egg and the plate with pre-cut bite-sized toasted bread, not ready to start bridging the distance between him and his mother.

"Do you think you might be able to do that, some time?" she probed a little.

"I don't know what to tell you mom. I don't even really know how I feel about most of this. I didn't think I missed having my biological father in my life. Dad was in my life and that was enough. I never expected somebody else was out there actually caring and longing to meet me. But now that I know and I have met him…There are things I share with him I never shared with dad. He is into kick boxing, did you know that? He likes classical music and we have this habit of running our fingers through our hair… I look like him and there was this connection even before I knew who he was. I keep testing that against my feelings for dad. It somehow doesn't feel fair to dad that I should feel that kind of connection to somebody else, someone who doesn't even really know me."

Eddy's eyes were full of hurt and anger and something else she couldn't quite place.

"But you are getting to know each other now. I thought that it was going well, that this is why you have decided to come today."

Eddy shook his head: "Dad said it was a bit like dating: getting to know each other, see where it is going. But I can't do that. I can't invest in something that ends up not being there. We've only spent a few hours at a time together and each time with a bit of an agenda, an entertainment, on the schedule. I need to know if things are the same if we spend more time together, once the novelty wears off. And I wanted to find out how I fit into his life," he finally admitted.

"So you are stepping into the lion's den?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"Eddy, you don't have to be afraid of Christian not wanting you in his life and I'm sure everybody else will feel the same."

Eddy just looked down again and started on his meal not looking at his mother and Ana resigned herself to eating her own breakfast in silence pondering how she could break the wall that was growing between her and her son, when Eddy spoke to her again:

"What makes you so certain?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean."

Eddy took a moment to finish his orange juice then put the glass down and looked up: "When you and Christian separated, I know about grandpa keeping the two of you apart. But the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes to me that he only succeeded because you both believed the other was capable of behaving in the way grandpa…showcased. I know there was another woman, so perhaps Christian believing that you were too angry and hurt to speak with him, at least for a while, is not too hard to accept. But you, you believed he could just shut you out. You had been married about three years. I'm not a child. I understand couples can have problems. I can even accept that one partner has found somebody else and wants to move on, but not the way you thought he did. Just refusing to speak, cutting off all contact…If you thought him capable of doing that then, why not now? Again, I am not a child, I am not somebody he can take and raise and mould after his own mind. At some point I might disagree with him, deny him, disregard his opinion…" Unable to clarify his apprehension further, Eddy let his voice trail.

Stunned, Ana just looked at him for a moment. She knew she had to clear this up for him and she had to do it now. And what exactly could she tell her son, their son? That his father needed a submissive was out of the question. Afraid to lose the moment and afraid Eddy will pull away from her again she started speaking searching for the words as she went on:

"He didn't abandon me, Eddy. I didn't think he would abandon me, not like you described it. He gave me a choice. Granted one that I couldn't take, one that he knew I couldn't take, but that's what he did, or what I thought he did."

"A choice? What choice? You do realize that a choice you can't take is an ultimatum?"

Her eyes filled with tears that she blinked back. This was not the time or the place and she needed her wits about her.

"No. I mean, yes, I do realize it can sound like that, but it wasn't an ultimatum. It was an admission, from his part, that he couldn't give me what I wanted, what I needed from a relationship and that he also needed something else than what I could give him. Hearing you describe it right now, I can see how that can sound…extreme. But what I thought he did was put his cards on the table and step back, allow me, or force me, to make my own decision outside his influence."

"Mom," Eddy frowned, for some reason more disturbed than reassured by his mother's explanation, "at the very least that is extremely high handed."

The soft voice on the tannoy announcing their flight gained her a respite from delving further into the details of her complicated marriage to Christian. Boarding in first class doesn't take long but the cabin, although slightly larger than on the first plane, was uncomfortably quiet for the kind of conversation she needed to have with her son.

"Can you wait until we are under way?" she asked him.

They spent the next fifteen minutes in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Over the roar of the engines gaining power she continued: "That one is also on me, believing he could behave that way. Again I should have known better, but I didn't. The proof of how wrong I was is in all the things he has done since he has found us. I admit that I did, at first, consider that he did some of that just out of a sense of duty, of responsibility. But he also came by just to see you: to see you grow, to share in some of your achievements…"

She stopped as Eddy's front creased with a frown.

"You don't know about that? I thought Dan would have told you?"

"Tell me what?"

"About the visits, the pictures."

Eddy shook his head not taking his eyes of his mother.

"He comes to Rock Hill, or used to come, several times a year. Always on your birthday, on New Year's Eve and the 4th of July and a few other times. He has seen some of your school plays and I think he was there the first time you played the piano at the school end of year show."

Mother and son just held each other's gaze for several seconds until Eddy admitted: "Christian didn't tell me any of that."

"He wouldn't, Eddy. He never expected anything in return. He was just being as much of a father as he could while still remaining in the background."

She had finally said something right. Some of the tension left Eddy's shoulders and his face relaxed, his expression pensive at first then his eyes widened a little: "I have a father. I have always had a dad but now I also have a father."

Ana didn't dare move or say anything, she just allowed her son the moment when he finally came to terms with the fact that Christian was his father.

Eddy sat back in his chair and let his shoulders slump and his finger idly press on the button that made the seat recline backwards a fraction. Some weight had been lifted from his mind, from his neck and from his shoulders. His lower back pressed into the backseat and he let his back lean against the comfortable chair. He was not going to meet a stranger and test whether he would fit the role of a father. He was going to meet his father and see how they would fit into each other's lives. That was a hell of a difference.

"Mom, that music piece, the melody Christian played for me, I should have been too young to remember it," he noted.

As she didn't respond he turned his head to check if his mother had heard him. She was sitting with her eyes shut and her lips pursed, the lower lip trembling a little, then took a deep breath and slowly let it out but kept her eyes closed as she told him: "I had it with me. I had a tablet and I had it recorded. You wouldn't go to sleep without it. I had it for quite some time, the tablet broke when you were four."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

She finally opened her eyes and looked at him: "I am so, so sorry Eddy, that I have kept the two of you apart."

Her gaze and the lines of her face conveyed such deep sorrow that the intensity gripped him. He couldn't dismiss that with a common platitude, so he told her the truth: "It's...it's not all right mom, but maybe we'll be getting there," and then he realized: "The fourth of July, is that why you were crying, at the end?"

The sky full of silver and blue, the culmination of the fireworks Christian had arranged for her, filled her mind and she no longer could stop the tears she had been battling for hours. All she could do was nod and keep her head down lest she made a spectacle of herself.

"Mom, I…I asked dad but I never thought…you seemed happy that I was meeting Christian," Eddy stopped babbling uncomfortable to see his mother crying and not really knowing what to make of it and what to say.

"I'm sorry, I...," Ana took a shuddering breath to calm herself. "I am happy you are meeting him Eddy, never doubt that."

Eddy remained silent, giving his mother time to collect herself but his mind was racing, pulling bits and pieces together, things that had seemed to have one explanation taken individually but when he put them together...

Christian and his mom, they had both insisted the separation was not the other's fault, that Christian not being in his life was not the other's fault. He had thought they were just being careful to not speak badly of each other in front of him, but it was the way they _**did** _speak about each other that had unsettled him. That moment on the boat…'one we set up for you together'.

During their last meeting they were having lunch in Christian's suite at the Omni and discussing favourite foods. 'Mac'n'cheese' Christian had replied without hesitation. Eddy had admitted they never had mac'n'cheese at home, the first time he had had it he was ten and visiting a friend. Christian had looked…stricken. At the time he had thought it was again a case of guilty feelings, that his son had not had some favourite dish, but now…

His mom rarely looked as happy as when she was watching fireworks. That, and the park full of peonies in the early summer, and her books, were the few things that made her happy that were not directly related to her children. The fireworks had been there for as long as he could remember but the park had to be rebuilt after the storm. She had liked it well enough before, she always wanted to go there, but when it had opened again, a year after the storm, the sight that had greeted them was a sea of blooming peonies right at the entrance and then the walking and bike trails had peony trees all along the sides. Peony bushes and smaller arrangements were strewn all over the park and all around the seating areas…Posterus had built the park: _he_ had built her a park full of her favourite flowers.

Wondering, he took another look at her, his mother, sitting in the chair besides him, recovering from the reminder of the fireworks display and it occurred to him that Christian was not coming to the fireworks to see him. He was coming to see her, and she had figured that out. A poem teased his memory, the end of a poem really - 'He that made this knows all the cost/For he gave all his heart and lost.'

"I know mom," he finally responded.

"I think I'm going to try and sleep a little more," he put an end to the conversation.

Sleep however is not what he needed. What he needed was time to figure out what to do with all of this. Christian's words from their first meeting: 'I could see you any time I wanted and maybe also see Ana, maybe in time rebuild a relationship, taking it slower this time, giving her more time to adjust,' Christian had never even mentioned the name of his second wife, just that 'Samantha's mother left when she was three months old'. His mother's words from their one previous discussion 'I think there is a possibility he only got married because of the baby, that he did 'the right thing',' completed the circle.

Watching the vast blue emptiness surrounding the plane, he realized that he had stumbled over another piece of the code needed to decipher the puzzle that was Christian Grey: 'for he gave all his heart and lost'. The question was, seeing how upset his mother was, had Christian truly lost? So many years down the line, would it make a difference for her if she knew that he had not just stepped back as she thought he had, but that he was planning, hoping, for a new beginning for the two of them? And where would that leave his dad and their family if it did?

xXx

Ana felt the hand on her shoulder and opened her eyes.

"Ma'am, I thought you might want to know we are less than an hour out."

"Mmm, thank you. What time is it?" she asked trying to reorient herself.

"Ten thirty, Pacific time."

"Thank you," Ana smiled at the flight attendant as the cobwebs cleared from her mind.

"If you would like something to drink you need to tell me now as we will only be able to serve drinks for another ten minutes or so."

Eddy stirred besides her, obviously also just waking up.

While they were waiting for their drinks to arrive, first Eddy then Ana made use of the small lavatory to freshen up. Eddy changed his t-shirt for a dark blue short sleeved shirt and combed his hair while she put on a little make up, combed and sprayed her hair, changed her comfortable shoes to some higher heels and sprayed a little bit of a floral scent over her neck and bare arms. She looked just this side of elegant, still dressed for a day out in town but perhaps for the nicer part of the town.

Ana sighed at her mirror image: time to face whatever was awaiting her in Seattle.

Returning to her seat she was greeted by a look she couldn't quite place from her son.

"Christian said he won't be at the airport, one of his men will meet us there," he reminded her.

"Greg McKenzie, yes."

"So, will he take you to your meeting first?"

She frowned: "No. I am not going with you, Eddy. McKenzie is just coming to pick you up. I'll take a taxi."

"But…I'm sure we could drop you off at the court house."

"No, Eddy," she smiled gently at him. "These two days, they are for you and your father. He did offer, but I declined. I'll just do what I need to do and then fly back home."

His thoughts before his slumber coming back to him, Eddy frowned: "Mom, I don't want to start anything but…are you avoiding him? Christian, I mean?"

Ana sighed: "I know, we both know, we will have to talk to each other at some point, but we have agreed to postpone that for a while. You only have another couple of months before you leave for Harvard and we thought it would be better to use this time for the two of you to spend time together, build a future. Our past can wait a little longer," it's all she could say and still maintain an appearance of calm and composure.

To her relief Eddy didn't challenge her any further and as the plane started the descent to Seattle they each kept their thoughts to themselves. Her heart warmed up when without a word Eddy took her hand and held it until they were safely back on the ground and irrationally she dared find in the kind gesture, a little hope that the day would not be as difficult as she anticipated.

Despite their attire being a little off what seemed to be the norm in the first class section of the airplane, Ana and Eddy had not received any particular notice from either their fellow passengers or the flight attendants. At the end of the gangway connecting their flight to the airport itself, they stopped for a moment to orient themselves and it was all it took for their anonymity to evaporate.

"Mr and Mrs Parson?" A young man in a blue uniform stepped in front of them. "This way please," he extended an arm towards a waiting electric cart without waiting for confirmation.

Eddy looked a little confused while Ana sighed: "I'm pretty sure this is not part of the first class experience."

The drive through the airport took almost ten minutes and their driver apologized at one point explaining that this was the start of their busiest time of the day. Eventually they crossed the massive baggage claim zone and to their relief the cart stopped to one side, just before the automated doors to the exit.

"Eddy," Ana stopped him from getting closer to the gates. "Once we get past the gates we will have to go our separate ways. I just wanted to tell you…to wish you to have a good time."

"Mom, are you sure you will be all right?"

"Yes, Eddy," she smiled and nodded for emphasis then took a deep breath: "Shall we?"

"Thank you. Hope your meeting goes well. I…I guess I'll see you at home?"

She let him get ahead of her and encouraged him to carry on when he turned his head to look at her, then got her own feet moving towards the last barrier standing between her and her past. There was nobody waiting there for her, so she didn't bother to scan the faces of the people pressed against the barrier and just concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other, until Eddy abruptly stopped in front of her.

One look past his left shoulder and she knew why: at the end of the line Greg McKenzie was standing practically at attention in yet another immaculate dark grey suit.

"I think this is it," he said.

"Yes, it is. Go on, Eddy. I'll see you Sunday," she encouraged him and kept her pace slow, allowing the distance to increase. By the time Greg McKenzie greeted him she was several steps behind. She couldn't hear the words above the constant shouting from the crowd greeting other passengers, but McKenzie made a point to catch her eye and nod at her and Eddy turned and raised his hand in a silent good bye. She made an effort to waive back and smile and then they were gone.

Keeping her eyes on the floor she made it to the end of the line and turned left when a hand on her arm almost made her jump. The hand dropped immediately, but she followed it up the arm covered in the long sleeve of an off white shirt, to a broad shoulder and the unbuttoned collar and up to the familiar face of Elliot Grey.

"Elliot?"

"Hello Ana."

"What are you doing here?"

"Would you believe me if I told you I just happened to be in the neighbourhood?" he answered as he placed his hand just above her right elbow and gently stirred her away.

The number of people surrounding them dwindled with every step and eventually, in the open space of the parking lot, she deemed they had enough privacy for her to speak up: "Elliot, please stop."

Surprising her, he did as she asked and simply stood there waiting her out.

"You don't have to do this Elliot. He asked me and I told him no. I…I am not his responsibility anymore."

"No, I don't have to do this, but I am here anyway. You told him no to a car with a driver and do you want to tell him that last part yourself, I don't think he got the memo?" Elliot sighed: "I'm sorry if I sounded abrupt. Don't give me any grief about this Ana. Christian has enough on his plate as it is."

"Elliot, I'm sorry he has dragged you into this, but I would really prefer if he stopped trying to rescue me each time I'm in trouble. I need to stand on my own two feet."

"Ana…Look, can we talk somewhere else?"

"I have a meeting."

"Yes, at one thirty. That gives us a little over an hour."

Elliot was being polite but firm and she knew all too well she owed him an explanation and an apology, so reluctantly she climbed into the car. When he just sat there looking in his rear view mirror she offered one more time: "If you have changed your mind, I can just go. I was planning on taking a taxi."

"What? No," he said and firmly put his hand over the horn making her jump.

"Sorry, just waiting for the two jarheads to make up their minds who's alpha dog today."

He finally turned the key in the ignition and stole a quick glance at her and sighed then started driving and speaking at the same time: "The security guys seem to have some trouble deciding if yours or mine is going to take the lead. And I apologize for my lack of manners. I was fine until I saw Teddy at the airport."

'Security' and 'Teddy', each word hit her with a different kind of force and being seated here beside Elliot reinforced the falling-through-the-looking-glass feeling. Seattle. There was no place for Anabelle Parson in Seattle. Anastasia Steele, ex-Grey, however, was in for a rough ride… metaphorically speaking, of course. Despite his obvious tension Elliot was smoothly negotiating the traffic as she watched with increasing trepidation the silhouettes of familiar landmarks grow closer.

"We'll be there in a few moments. I thought you would prefer some place a little out of the way. It's not very big but the food is good and the staff is discreet."

True to his word, Elliot took an exit before they reached the outskirts of the town and soon stopped in front of a small dinner. Immediately behind them two other cars entered the mostly deserted parking lot and parked to the right and left of Elliot's Mercedes.

"Please let me get the door," Elliot said as he climbed out of the car.

When he opened her door she was surprised to see the outstretched hand but let her own briefly rest on it as she also got out. Moments later they were seated at a corner table, one of the security guards having also followed them inside and now seated a few tables away to their left.

"I don't remember you having this kind of security," Ana frowned, her thoughts going to her son and the world he had just entered.

"I don't," Elliot replied. "Mine is still outside. Shall we order? What would you like?"

"Elliot, what's going on?"

"Can we please order first?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, Elliot. I asked him to not send a driver and he sent you instead and now I have security and I suppose this was his idea as well?" she asked waiving towards the menus lying on the table. "You obviously would rather not be here, so what exactly is going on?"

"This is Seattle and Christian is still the king on the hill, even more so than he was back then. There is no particular threat, if that is what you are concerned about. He is just making sure that your visit doesn't make the front page."

"Paparazzi?"

"Yes. Now would you order?"

"You sound like him," she said intending the remark as a joke, then stopped with her hand flat on the menu. "He put you up to this. This **is** his idea."

"You didn't think he would let you do this alone, did you?"

"Yes, I did. I suppose I should have known better, but that is not what I am talking about. I am specifically talking about you taking me here, to a restaurant, to eat."

"It is lunch time and I doubt you will eat between meeting the judge and meeting mom," Elliot refused to confirm her suspicion.

"Elliot, I can't let him keep doing this. He has moved on, he has a different life now. He has to let me go, has to let go of me," she pleaded.

The waitress materialized by the side of their table as she was searching the clear blue eyes staring at her for an ounce of understanding. Elliot Grey however only stared back for a moment and then blinked and turned his head to talk to the woman stood beside them: "I would like the warm chicken salad and a bottle of mineral water, please. Ana?"

"I'll have the same, please," she answered, keen to have the woman leave them to their private conversation.

"I am not his responsibility anymore," she repeated her earlier statement.

"He told me you have agreed to postpone talking to each other until September." As she nodded he continued: "Then you will probably have to wait until then to let him know how you feel."

"But you agree?"

"This is not about what I think; it's about what he thinks."

That was not only a conversation killer, it was a rebuke, and she knew it. Elliot Grey was beyond angry with her and for a good reason.

"I'm sorry Elliot. I am sorry that I had to run and I am sorry I took Teddy away from him. I don't know how much he has told you about what happened, how much you know of what has been going on, but at the time I couldn't see any other option. I know it was wrong and it kills me to think of how much I have taken away from him. It breaks my heart into a million pieces to see how torn Teddy is between his feelings and his mind, between his hopes and his fears, between Christian and Dan. I would do anything, literally anything, to not have them go through this. So I am doing what I can. I have come here to try and deal with my past, I am gathering the strength to face Christian and convince him he doesn't have to take care of me anymore and I am fighting to remain sane, remain whole, for everybody's sake: Eddy and Emma and Nick, even Dan and now I suspect Christian. If there is anything else you can think of that I can do, please tell me and I'll do it."

"Fuck, Ana, don't cry. He'll kill me if he finds out I made you cry," Elliot half whispered, his voice hoarse from the tightness in his throat.

She had poured her heart out and was for the moment left empty and numb. She rubbed both her hands over her face trying to revive some of her senses and wiping the tears that had once again spilled over her cheeks and ended up with both hands joined as if in prayer in front of her mouth.

"He has told us some of it," Elliot admitted. "With Christian you never really know how much is left unsaid, but he has told us much the same as what you told me, that it was mostly Ray keeping the two of you apart and keeping the rest of us away. He wouldn't tell us why but I think I have an idea," Elliot stopped talking abruptly and looked as if he wished he could swallow his words.

Their lunches appearing on the table in front of them were so far from both their minds they just stared at the plates and it took several seconds and the uncomfortable 'Um, have I got it wrong?' from the waitress to snap them back to the here and now.

They quickly reassured the woman that the orders were OK but remained motionless until Elliot sighed: "We should probably eat some of this."

They each took a few bites of their food but the silence was oppressive rather than companionable. Thinking back on the previous time they had met and what Elliot had shared with her, Ana realized he knew most of what there was to know anyway.

"Can I ask, how is Ava? Has she made up her mind where she wants to go in the fall?"

"Sunnier climates, UCLA," Elliot answered, then more hesitantly: "Have you met her, Ava, I mean?"

"Not since she was a baby," Ana admitted and yet another wave of sadness and regret washed over her.

"Ana, how long has Kate known where you were?"

"I thought you knew."

"I have known for a few years, but if you have met Ava when she was a baby…"

"Elliot, I'm sorry, I thought you knew. When you said you knew that Kate had been in touch, I thought she had told you."

"I never asked her, not since the early days. I did ask her in the beginning, just after you had left. She said she didn't know."

"She didn't. Not then."

"But she knew before Christian did?"

"I would rather you asked her."

"Ava would have been two, two and a half when Christian found the two of you. She wasn't a baby anymore."

"Elliot, Kate is your wife."

Elliot stared at her with a blank expression: "We should finish here and go to meet Judge Marion and then I'll take you to Bellevue if you are still up to it. We can talk some more this afternoon."

"I suppose there isn't any point in me repeating that you don't have to do this, is there?"

"Not much, no. I promised Christian I will see you through today."

**AN N****ext chapter: Ana's day in Seattle. Speaking of which...has everybody finished reading Grey?**


	42. Summer Storm ch41 Bellevue

**AN: I know this is a chapter many have been waiting for so here goes for hopping it will bring at least a little bit of clarity, clear up some of the questions...**

Ch 41 Bellevue

The drive from the restaurant seemed to take forever until she realized what Elliot was doing: instead of driving on the interstate and straight into town he had taken the scenic route, bordering the lake and bypassing most of the town centre.

"Thank you," she murmured.

Elliot didn't acknowledge her words. When he spoke it was to bring up something entirely different: "In case you have not recognized the name, you have met Alan Marion before. His father runs a business in town and his grandfather was a lawyer. The Marions and the Trevelyans were close friends. They were at your wedding. He might bring it up," he finished.

Elliot's words coalesced in a heavy weight placed squarely in the middle of her chest and pressing her spine into the back-rest of the seat. The Trevelyans…her wedding day…she clenched her fists and let the nails dig deep into her palms, concentrating on the physical pain, absorbing it, embracing it, needing it to distract her from the unbearable memories.

"I keep saying the wrong thing, don't I?" Elliot asked after a quick glance told him Ana was again looking as if she was in pain.

"No, thank you for the warning. Christian said I have met him on a couple of occasions but I hadn't realized there was a family connection." Ana kept her eyes on the view outside: "I have not kept track of anyone Elliot. Are Gramps and Grandma…," she couldn't bring herself to say the word.

"They passed away quite a few years ago." Elliot paused and held his breath then slowly released it. It was the one time he could remember Christian saying no to their grandfather, when Theo Trevelyan had wanted him to go fetch his son, even charge Ana with kidnapping. But Christian had stood firm by his decision and never agreed to tell anybody where his son was. He would show them the pictures and the occasional video recording and reassure them Teddy was fine and happy, and that is all anybody had ever got from him on that subject. They weren't even allowed to keep any of the pictures. '_You can come by the house and see them anytime you want but Teddy and Ana's security come first so the pictures do not leave the house_.'

Christian's decision to attend Teddy's graduation, with Samantha and Grace in tow, had been a shock both for him and for their mother. At the ceremony, tucked in her purse, Grace had a picture of Carrick. That small gesture had filled Elliot with some of the guilt he was trying to drown later in the evening: he had known where Teddy was too. He had known before Carrick died and had also kept the secret. Like the first few tendrils of smoke escaping from a building on fire, at first more an odd sensation and a funny feeling, but then getting increasingly thicker, darker, warning of the blaze raging inside, the past was starting to catch up with all of them.

'_I need your help'_ had been Christian's surprising opening line three days ago when he had come unannounced to his office at Grey Constructions. If Christian visiting him out of the blue was not indication enough that something big was going down, that opening sentence had hammered it home.

Christian hadn't even glanced at the seat Elliot had offered him and instead paced through the limited space in the cluttered office. Every few sentences he'd break his stride to nail his brother with a piercing stare from eyes that shone with a determination Elliot had not seen in a long, long time. After finally relenting on revealing Teddy's whereabouts, Christian was now caught between his son, his ex, his mother and his sister. Under any other circumstances his despair would have been comical. As it were, he was beyond teasing, beyond even running his fingers through his hair, and all that was left was the tightly coiled energy ready to unleash.

So he had been enrolled to accompany Ana today: first to the court house –the freaking Witness Protection Programme, what the hell had been going on between Ana and his brother? – then to see Grace Grey in Bellevue and finally take her back to the airport. And he had agreed to all of Christian's wishes - formulated as demands, as the man had apparently used up all his capacity to ask for favours in that first opening sentence.

'_Both Ana and mom have insisted they should meet just the two of them. They have half an hour then I need you to get in there.' 'I need you to take care of her, make sure she makes it through the day. She has a six hours long flight back in the evening and she'll be alone. I need to know you can leave what's between Ana and me to us and just be there for her. Can you do that?' _And of course the last minute instructions: _'She needs to eat, she will forget about it.' 'Downplay the security but don't get rid of them, they have a job to do.'_

Elliot had promised and had figured out he'll be able to keep his own feelings towards Ana under control and just accompany her through the day. Their short explosive meeting the night of Teddy's graduation had ended as abruptly as it had started and the main thing he had taken from that was the fierceness with which Christian had defended her, again…

But he had not counted on how he would feel seeing Teddy walk towards Christian's Head of Security, the reminder that Teddy was now a grown man and that despite all the pictures and the watching he had done, Christian - and all of them - had missed on having the boy in their lives. Neither had he counted on the familiarity, the family bonds that were still very much there once he was actually forced to interact with Ana, rather than think of her in the abstract. The slip of a woman that was now barely daring to breathe in the seat next to him, had stumbled into Christian's life all those years ago and none of them had ever been the same.

All the bad that had happened was not just on her, he had to reluctantly admit. Much as he loved his brother, the truth was that Christian was hard work on a good day and impossible most of the other times and he had also made his choices…

He finally had to turn left towards the town centre.

"Perhaps we should take this one step at a time," he said. "We're almost there. If you are wondering, Christian has told me about the purpose for the meeting."

They only had to wait for a few minutes before the clark informed them Judge Marion was ready to hear them.

"Are you not coming in?" Ana asked as Elliot gave no indication he was going to follow her into the judge's chambers.

"I thought you might not want me there."

Ana stopped and took a good look at him: Christian's brother, someone she had once known and liked, Eddy's uncle… family…

"You said we should take this one step at a time. I have no idea where to begin doing that Elliot, so this seems as good a step as any. If you don't mind, then I would actually like you to come with me."

Against the backdrop of the far wall lined with book shelves from floor to ceiling, sitting in a chair behind his massive desk where piles of papers were stacked in metal trays lining one edge and various office supplies lied scattered over most of the surface, Judge Alan Marion looked stern and a little foreboding.

Half an hour later it was over. A stern reminder that he was doing this as a favour to Christian, uncounted quizzical looks from both the judge and Elliot, and half a dozen routine questions for the record later, her petition had been lodged. The unexpected clinch was that Alan Marion had insisted she needed Eddy's approval. Despite the two cases not being linked, the judge had argued that her revealing her own past identity carried a risk that her son's would also become known. With a pointed stare at her he had made it clear that _'it is not this court's mandate to enquire as to the details of an FBI case, however it is my responsibility to ensure that the court's protection continues to remain in effect for those who so desire.'_ She was pretty certain she had gotten the translation right: _'whatever the hell went down all those years ago, I don't know and I don't want to get involved, but I am not signing anything until I know that everybody is on board with your request and its consequences.'_

Back in the parking lot, Elliot simply asked: "Bellevue?"

This time Elliot had no choice but to take the I90 to Mercer Island and from there to Bellevue.

"Ray arranged for the name changes," Ana started, trying to address some of the issues that had obviously surprised Elliot during the meeting, and distract herself from the older memories and the thought of where this road was going. "I didn't know how and at the time I was too upset and confused and…desperate I suppose, to ask about the details. And I didn't think it mattered. I was convinced that if Christian wanted to find us he would; that anything Ray did would at best slow him down a little. It turns out I was right, just not on how much it would slow him down."

"Christian has been telling us, tried to tell us, that you thought he had cut you out. You also told me that, but I don't think I have quite been able to understand."

It was Ana who had brought it up, he wasn't, technically, breaking his promise to Christian…

"The week-long break in Montesano had been planned in advance. Christian was supposed to be on a business trip himself. That morning he left first and then I had to go via the apartment before I left town. She was still at the apartment, sleeping in a room upstairs. I sent Christian a text telling him we needed to talk. I didn't think much about him not replying immediately, he was on a plane to the other side of the world. I was tired and upset and I fell asleep early. The next morning there was still no reply from him and the security was gone from outside the house. I called them and they informed me that they had been ordered back to Seattle by Christian himself. The day got away from me a little, but by the evening he had still not contacted me and the security were not replying to my calls anymore: not our detail, not the main office at the house…I didn't know then but my father had used his connections to block my phone and email from either receiving or sending messages to any of the Greys. Three days later I found out Christian was actually in town, living at the apartment."

They were now almost on Mercer Island. Surprising her, Elliot took the next exit then turned right and parked in what looked like the entrance to a park. He switched off the engine and half turned towards her, not saying anything, just watching her.

"I was beyond hurt, beyond…bewildered. Shock is perhaps the best way to describe it. For all that we have been through, Christian had never lied to me, never. He kept things from me and drove me crazy that way, but he has never lied. I called the apartment. Even if he wouldn't take my call there were others there…It didn't even go to voice mail. I don't remember why I called GP, I just had the phone in my hand, but I finally got through to somebody. Hanna, my assistant, was all happy and reassuring and told me that Christian had been in touch and I needn't worry about work, I could take all the time I needed. I emailed Grace that evening, to tell her I might not be able to see her on the weekend. I have no idea how the next two days passed but it was the weekend before I realized Grace had not replied to me either. The next couple of weeks I mostly lived hour by hour: eat, sleep, take care of Teddy, watch TV, take a walk, Ray took us to the lake for a few days…I sent Christian a couple of messages and a couple of emails... Then dad talked me into talking to a lawyer. He came to the house. I thought it was a good idea, a way to let Christian know and to let…Carrick know, I wouldn't ask for anything, I wouldn't take his money. I offered him shared custody and sent Ray to Seattle with the paperwork. I hadn't even realized I was still holding some hope until Ray came back and told me Christian had signed the petition. I knew then that is was over, that Christian had made his decision and he was letting me go. It had been a month…I slowly started thinking, talking about going back to Seattle, picking up my life. Ray must have seen how much I dreaded that prospect: dreaded having to face Christian, dreaded the media attention that was sure to follow, dreaded going back to work and facing everybody…"

Ana closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window. "Dad added fuel to the fire. Made me face a future where Christian would just continue to ignore my and Teddy's existence or one in which he decided that not only I wasn't a suitable wife for him, but I wasn't a suitable mother for his son. I was getting angry that nobody had come to see us, that nobody had tried to contact me. Dad was talking about moving away, starting over elsewhere, away from Christian and…the Greys. I wrote to him, telling him I wanted to move away, intended to take Teddy with me. I should have posted the stupid letter myself, but I didn't. When he didn't reply, I agreed to go. The new names came up a couple of days into our travel. I never for one second believed they would stop Christian if he really wanted to find us."

"For fuck's sake Ana, Christian loved you! He…"

The expletive brought her back from the depths of her mind and she opened her eyes to the cosy interior of the luxury car and a pale Elliot Grey starring at her.

"I know now that most of that wasn't true, Elliot. But I didn't find out until a month before Eddy's graduation."

She shook her head when he tried to interrupt her: "He loved me and he still takes care of me. But what if love is not enough? I never quite fit into his world…"

Unspoken words hung between them, heavy with Christian's secrets.

"I'm going to get us something to drink," Elliot said and got out of the car.

Uncertain but also needing to do something besides sit in the by now stale atmosphere of the car, she also got out, in time to see him purposefully walk towards a parked white SUV. She had all but forgotten about their security.

After a brief discussion with the guards, Elliot returned with two bottles of mineral water.

"What is this place anyway?" Ana asked

"I don't really know, I think it goes to a private residence," Elliot said looking about as lost as Ana had ever seen him.

He handed her a bottle and then nodded towards a wooden barrier behind the cars.

"Ana, I don't even know where to start. You have to tell Grace. Exactly what you told me just now."

Already exhausted and knowing that the hardest part was still to come, Ana opened the water bottle and took a long sip, hoping the cool liquid will restore some of her energy.

"I know the silence was not true, Elliot, and I am beginning to suspect some of the other parts weren't as they seemed either. But that was what I based my decisions on, as much as I was capable of making any at the time."

"Why are you not angry?" Elliot asked.

"Angry?"

"I haven't had a model life either," he confessed. "I have cheated on Kate…repeatedly. I have a son with another woman…I am not Christian and you are not Kate, but if you thought Christian had found somebody else and then just shut you out…I understand you were hurt and shocked in the beginning but how could you not be angry with him?"

Her eyes filling with tears, Ana admitted: "I did get angry. A few months after we left, when I found out he got married, I did get angry. That's when I decided to also move on with my life. I buried the hurt and used the anger to move on, get a job, get a life."

Again Elliot looked at her, the pieces of the puzzle that was his brother's life swirling in his mind and not making much more sense than before. He sighed. "Grace is above all a mother. I don't know what she will make of this, Ana."

"I understand. Still, I have to see her. If not for me and her, then for Teddy. He'll meet her tomorrow…" Ana stopped before the thought of that meeting broke through the last of her barriers.

"Christian has kept reminding her he also had a choice," was all the reassurance Elliot could provide, still distracted by the only truly new thing he had learned from this discussion: it wasn't just Christian. These two fools, they both still loved each other. But neither could he ignore her question: "What if love is not enough?"

xXx

Another ten minutes later and the car was on the achingly familiar driveway and Ana's heart beat accelerated until she was left weak and dizzy and feeling slightly sick. By the time Elliot parked near the stone stairs leading to the main entrance, she could feel the cold sweat running down her spine and her hands felt cold and clammy.

"Ana," Elliot called her.

She turned her head but was unable to speak and simply looked at him.

"That's it. Assuming you make it to the door, I won't leave you alone."

She shook her head, feebly at first then more forcefully, as the nausea receded.

"I'm fine, I'll be fine Elliot. I don't want to cause any more trouble in the family."

"We'll see," he said and got out of the car then was by her door just as her still shaky hands had finally managed to unbuckle her seat belt.

"You have other battles to fight here, let me take care of this one," he said and once again stretched out his hand to help her out of the car.

The door was opened by a female member of staff who politely greeted them: "Mr Elliot, ma'am, Dr Grey is in the drawing room and is expecting you."

The room had been redecorated since she had been here last. Instead of the cream, blue and brown she remembered it was light yellow with green and dark brown accents. It seemed less understated, more of a statement…she finally tore her eyes from the far wall to the woman standing in the middle of the room and slightly to the left.

"Good afternoon Anastasia. Elliot, I didn't realize you were coming by."

There was no mistaking the official tone in Grace's voice. She looked smaller than Ana remembered. Her hair was all white and her face creased with wrinkles, but the blue eyes were clear and direct and her posture straight. An almost regal figure, Grace Trevelyan Grey had mustered all the authority of her position as the descendant of a family that could trace their ancestors back to the first settlers of the region.

"Grace, thank you for seeing me," Ana murmured and inclined her head.

"Hi mom, didn't think I needed an invitation," Elliot quipped and stepped forward to embrace his mother.

"On any other day you wouldn't, but today Anastasia and I have matters to discuss that I would prefer should remain between us. Please have a seat Anastasia," she indicated the sofa placed at an angle to her own armchair.

Ana didn't dare protest and went to sit on the edge of the sofa, keeping her back straight, and her hands folded in her lap.

"Mother…" Elliot started.

"Not now Elliot," Grace interrupted him.

With an apologetic look at Ana, Elliot compromised: "I'll be in the office."

As soon as Elliot left the room, Grace sat down and offered: "Would you like some tea?"

"No, Grace, thank you."

A long moment passed while Grace simply looked at her, examined her.

"Christian said that you wanted to speak with me, that you wanted to apologize for taking Teddy with you when you left Seattle. I have heard Christian's version of what happened and I am aware he has his share of responsibility in your separation and in how long it took for him to reconnect with Teddy, but you took his son away from him Anastasia. Perhaps you are, and perhaps you are not aware of the profound impact that has had on Christian and by extension on all of our family, but I can assure you that the consequences have been dire and to this day we are still reeling from them. So yes, I would like to hear from you just what has led you to such an extreme action."

For the second time that day Ana launched into almost word for word the same tale she had told Elliot.

If any of her emotion was lost for saying the words for the second time, if that made it sound rehearsed and possibly not quite as sincere…it was still all she could say, all she had to say for herself in front of this woman whom she knew she had hurt deeply by her actions. She ended it with the same final explanation: "I know now that my father was the one that had cut the lines of communication between me and Christian and I have also found out that you have tried to see me, but at the time I just didn't know any of that." Then she remained quiet and allowed Grace to make up her mind.

"Anastasia," Grace started with a feeling in her voice that had not been there before, "so the two of you have really never communicated with each other, not once in two months?"

Ana gently shook her head.

Grace's tone might have been les glacial but her stare was still intense and focused: "I have to admit that I thought Christian was wrong, that even if your father did interfere it was at your request, because you didn't want to speak with him, or with us, with me…"

Grace's eyes lost some of their intensity and seemed to be looking through Ana to some place the younger woman could not follow.

"If your father did all of that and never spoke to you about it, just took it on himself to keep the two of you apart, to take you and your son and hide… he knew, didn't he Ana? About Christian and…his room upstairs."

The word hung between them for the space of a few heart beats, then Grace frowned: "He couldn't have known before. He was too open and happy and him and Christian seemed to get along well…He found out that day, didn't he? The day you left for Montesano."

"He got it all wrong, Grace." Ana spilled the words, at this point no longer certain what or whom she was defending.

"But when you told Ray about it, he must have had questions."

It would be the easy way out, she knew, to throw Kate under the bus, to spill the beans on her involvement, to deflect some of Grace and Elliot's anger towards somebody else. But Kate was Elliot's wife and Grace's daughter in law and Ava's mother, and it had still been her decision to take her son and run. What good would it do to bring yet more grief to this family?

"I didn't tell him. I had a tape, CCTV footage from the apartment. I didn't know he had seen the tape. I had not thought of it in years."

The vivid image of Christian entering the apartment and of the brunette dropping to her knees as he approached her, his beautiful face stern and the body she knew so well erect and stiff, addressing that woman, commanding her…The last image she had had of Christian until Teddy's graduation day filled her mind and awakened the same tortured wail that had invaded her being on that day: 'No, please no, please let it not be true. Why?' She closed her eyes against the memory, against the pain, against the whirl of her mind racing through possibilities. 'It couldn't be… they were happy… he would have told her…she would have known… he had been distant… he had been gentle… he wouldn't lie to her… he wouldn't talk to her …he said he was monogamous…not Christian… not her Christian… the other Christian, the one from before more… she had not been enough.' By then she was standing in the door to the submissive's room starring at the uncovered top of the naked back of the woman asleep in the bed. There were fading stripes on her back and a bruise on the one exposed shoulder, a tube of Arnica cream on the bedside table…

"I need to know, Anastasia. I need to know why Christian has lost his son, why Carrick died without knowing his grandson, why I will only meet him as a grown man. What happened that made Christian listen to Raymond Steele and what made Raymond take it upon himself to take you and Teddy away?"

Between her raw feelings and Grace's persistence, Ana's restraint finally broke:

"I had forgotten my tablet at the apartment. I couldn't leave town without it, it had Christian's song for Teddy on it and he wouldn't sleep without it. To save time instead of looking through the apartment I watched the CCTV tape. I saw one of the security men bring a woman to the apartment and then Christian arrived and she…kneeled."

Grace's voice was strained when she broke the silence: "I walked into that room unaware. I have since had to learn things I could have lived a lifetime without knowing. We know what Marlene was. Her name was in those contracts."

Ana's fingers curled around the edge of the sofa. If Grace was going to want to talk about the contracts…she shook her head to chase the mere thought away.

"I didn't read them, Carrick wouldn't allow me to. He said there was a file on you and an NDA, but no contract."

"I never signed one," Ana rushed to answer hoping with all she had Grace would move on to something else.

"But Christian wanted you to?"

"Grace, I can't…It isn't right for me to discuss Christian with you, not like that," she stood her ground, recuperating from the shock of the powerful memory.

Grace let her eyes glide over Ana's face and petite frame, down to the hands stills gripping the edge of the sofa, the knees just hidden by the hem of the modest dress and the ankles pressed tightly together, then back up, until she once again met Ana's gaze.

"At least now it makes sense to me why your father would behave the way he did. I probably would have done the same."

"No, Grace. My father should have talked to me, he should have asked me."

"I don't think so, Anastasia. He wouldn't, couldn't, take that chance."

"But he was wrong, Grace. You have to know that he was wrong."

"Deep in my heart I hope he was, but knowing is a different matter. So no, I don't know, and judging by your actions I believe that neither do you. The two of you together….From the first time I have laid eyes on Christian all I have ever wished for him was to see his face light up with joy. In all the years we have had him I have only come close a few times: his first Christmas tree, a toy helicopter we once gave him, the first chocolate cake for his birthday… The rest of the time he was…silent or angry, then focused and determined, but not happy, until he met you. It was obvious from the first time I saw you that there was something special going on there, but I also knew Christian and his temper. I saw that temper flare a few times around you and I was afraid he will drive you away. As it turned out you had that something in you, that spark that allowed you to give back as much as he gave. On the night of Coping Together, when he stayed for the fireworks, I knew it was for you. He had never done that for anybody, not even for Mia. I was a little afraid, to be honest, of how he would cope with bending to somebody else's wishes so I watched him closely. The look the others had watching the fireworks, the look you had on your face…Christian didn't look at the sky even once. You were all he saw, all he needed, to feel that joy and excitement. And it wasn't only that night. He kept looking at you that way. Sometimes he looked…surprised. He would watch you walk towards him and he looked ready to take a step back, to step aside, as if he didn't think he was your destination. And then at other times he'd watch you from across a room and he would get that determined look on his face and move towards you ignoring everything and everybody in his way and didn't stop until he reached you, until he stood by you. He never quite understood why we love him even if I think he has finally accepted that we do. With you, and with his life style before you…he lost that battle with himself didn't he?"

In one fluid movement Ana rose from the couch and walked to the bay window overlooking the garden where she had gotten married. She couldn't let Grace see, read in her face, the deep sadness rising within her and filling her like the water fills a well in the spring. It wasn't just one battle Christian had been fighting: he had fought to accept that he was worthy of being loved and capable of returning the love, fought against his need for control and tried to rein in his dominance in their relationship… Taking on a sub was not as much cheating as admitting defeat. Grace was right, the truth was that she didn't know: was that what Christian would have asked of her? Would she have accepted? And if he didn't ask would she have offered and would he then have accepted? If Christian had not meant to cut her out, had tried to reach her…He must have known what she had seen and what she would make of it. Is that why he believed Ray's tales? She had been right to believe that if he wanted to find them, he would. And deep in her heart she knew that if he had wanted to fight for her he would have. No matter what Ray said or did or threatened, it was Christian that had let her go…yet never let go of her.

"You and Christian have still not spoken to each other, have you? Not about what happened back then?" Grace's voice reached her as if spoken from very far away.

"No, we have agreed on September, after Teddy leaves for Harvard…"

They had lost track of why she was here in the first place. Ana slowly turned around to face Grace Grey: "I am sorry I have taken Teddy away. I am sorry I took him from his father and that I took his father from him and that I took his family from him. I was sorry even then. Beyond my hurt feelings for myself, it did break my heart to know that Teddy will lose all of that. But there was no place for us in Seattle and I was convinced that there was no longer a place for us in Christian's life. Not because he didn't love us but because he did and had made his decision that he couldn't be what we needed or give us what we needed to be happy. Between that and his money and public figure…We weren't just any other divorced couple, Grace. I wasn't wrong when I thought Christian would find us. He did, and he chose to not come forward. Faced with the same dilemma that I had - a life in which Teddy would be split between the two of us, the every-other-weekend-half-the-holidays-and-alternate-Christmases schedule, the limitations imposed by who he is - he made the same choice as I did. He chose to let Teddy live away from him."

Grace had listened in silence and now she once again found herself wondering about the dynamics in her son's marriage.

"Perhaps…You have given me much to think about, Anastasia. Are you staying in Seattle?"

She was not forgiven, not that she had really hoped she would be. All Grace had agreed to was to take her words under consideration...

"No, I have a flight back later today."

"Speaking of which," Elliot's voice intruded from the doorway, "we should probably get going soon."

Grace was obviously still preoccupied and Ana frowned: her flight was not due for several hours yet.

"I wasn't eavesdropping," Elliot defended himself in front of the two silent women. "I was just about to knock to let you know I was coming in."

"Come in Elliot. You never said how come you were here and Anastasia, won't you sit down? You didn't touch your tea, it's probably cold by now. Let me ring for a fresh kettle."

Ana and Elliot exchanged a look both wondering what Grace Grey had in mind.

"I'll go find Chantelle," Elliot said and retraced his steps back into the corridor.

"Before he returns, Ana, I meant what I said. Intellectually I have gained a little more perspective on what happened and I believe you are sincere when you say you regret things have gone the way they have. But it will take time for the void that was left behind to fill and there is much that can never be regained."

"I know, Grace, believe me, I know. I'll do everything I can to encourage Teddy to build his relationship with Christian and with you and the rest of the family."

Elliot returned with a tray with clean cups and a plate of cookies and deposited it on the table.

"Chantelle will bring the kettle in a moment," he informed them.

They spent another twenty minutes mostly listening to Ana tell them about Teddy: his drive to excel, his accomplishments, his reserved attitude hiding a caring soul, his love of poetry and music, his logical mind and ability with words leading him to look into the legal profession, his dislike of team or contact sports but also the way he excelled in his chosen martial art…

"A musical instrument and a martial art," Grace nodded. "Christian had told us Teddy plays the piano and he has pictures of him training."

"And a language," Ana offered yet another olive branch to the matriarch sitting in the armchair. "He has chosen French and he speaks it well enough to be able to read a book or poetry."

"You remembered," Grace accepted the peace offering.

"Christian has helped," Ana admitted.

The quizzical look her sentence received from both her companions could only have one explanation: "You didn't know," she stated.

Was this a breach of Christian's confidence? Even if it was, there was no way she could escape explaining.

"He has arranged for the opportunities to be there, if Teddy, or I, wanted to make use of them. I don't really have proof but he has not denied that he has been involved … He arranged for a music tutor to open a school across the street from where I work, the secondary school had a generous sponsor who in exchange requested a language club including French and I am fairly certain he has at least facilitated if not financed the Martial Arts Centre."

Elliot opened his mouth then closed it without saying anything and Grace kept starring at Ana.

"I only realized all of this recently, after he contacted me, after I found out he had known where we were," Ana explained.

Grace shook her head: "He never told us."

"He wouldn't Grace."

Conjured by her last statement, the spirit of the man they were discussing suddenly filled the room. A man, a son, a brother, a father, making mistakes in all of his roles and struggling to accept he didn't need to be perfect to be enough or to be loved.

**AN Next chapter Teddy in Medina but...it might not be next Saturday. Life has been more crazy than usual and so I will do my best but no promises.**


	43. Summer Storm Ch44 Medina

**AN: Hope this finds you all well and merry on a lovely Saturday morning! Picking up from where we left: Ana and Teddy have just arrived in Seattle. While last chapter was all about Ana, this one is dedicated to Teddy and his first few hours in Seattle. **

**Part of the reason it took so long to write this chapter is because I tried to make it something it couldn't be. Reviews do influence me and I have had to stop and think about where I am taking this and how I'm going to get it there. But I can't write somebody else's story. I have to write the one I have in me. Once I made up my mind the words/sentences/lines started to flow again. Hope you'll enjoy it. **

**Oh, the book mentioned in this chapter is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. If you have not read it I can warmly recommend it for a twisted, funny, absurd view of our lives and all that we take for granted and important. And also: ****I have set up a pinterest board for the story. It's only a few pictures really but if you are curious I will send links via PM as quickly as the anti-spam rules allow me to.**

Ch 42 Medina

Greg McKenzie escorted his charge through the milling population of the arrivals area as quickly as he could and Eddy walked besides the official looking security man, trying to guess which car was their destination. He was down to three choices when he noticed the plates on a black Audi SUV: GREY 8.

"What happened to discretion?" he nodded towards the car.

"This is Seattle. We decided that business as usual is the more discreet option. We do occasionally pickup guests at the airport, although Mr Grey doesn't normally accompany us."

And with that they were there and Greg McKenzie opened the rear door to reveal the luxurious interior of the Audi and Christian Grey, in a suit but no tie, immediately locked eyes with his son.

"Welcome to Seattle," he said stretching out his hand, as a smile spread from his lips to his eyes transforming his face.

"Hi, thank you," Eddy replied and couldn't stop himself from looking, really looking, at the male figure warmly greeting him…his father.

As soon as he took his seat in the plush leather chair, the door closed behind him and at the soft click Christian's eyes darted away from him and to the view through the windshield. Curious, he followed his father's gaze: straight ahead was the building of the terminal and…his mother, walking towards the parking lot accompanied by a man who looked vaguely familiar: jacket and trousers, not a suit and not moving with the same military precision as Christian's other security guards. Eddy tore his gaze from his mother and back to Christian but his question remained unvoiced: his father's whole body was stiff and his face…something in his face reminded him of that first meeting at the restaurant. Then the eyelids slowly descended over the grey eyes and the jaw line hardened into an almost perfect square angle. When Christian opened his eyes again it was to look at his son:

"I asked my brother to accompany her today," Christian explained, addressing the uncertain look on Teddy's face and cursing himself for the moment of weakness spent watching Ana.

"I don't think she knew he'll be there," Eddy commented, taken aback by the tension of the previous moment.

"I didn't tell her. I didn't want her to spend the day alone so I…surprised her," Christian said a little hesitant.

For some reason Eddy found the explanation deepened his unease.

"I offered her a ride," he admitted.

As some of the colour drained from Christian's face, Eddy's mind supplied the explanation for his unease: '_a choice you can't take is an ultimatum'_. He frowned but once again his words remained unspoken as Christian raised his left hand then stopped in mid-air and briefly examined it before allowing it to continue its journey to his head and the fingers to comb through his hair.

His eyes once again following the pair moving towards the other side of the carpark, he asked: "Do you know why she came to Seattle today?"

"To meet with a judge about her name change."

Christian sighed and returned his attention to his son: "And to meet with my mother. They both insisted they didn't want me there, but I couldn't let her do this alone."

"Mr Grey," McKenzie spoke from the front passenger seat, "we should get underway, sir."

Both Christian and Eddy watched as Ana got into Elliot Grey's car and Christian nodded to his head of security. Eddy however had been reminded of his thoughts before he fell asleep on the plane: his mother and Grey.

"Can I ask you something?"

Knowing he had revealed more than he had intended sooner than he had intended, Christian had no choice but to nod his assent.

"Posterus: it was you, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Then Cherry Park, the peonies…they are not just a coincidence, are they?"

Christian met his son's eyes: "Ana likes peonies," he said. He didn't shrug but his tone conveyed the same matter-of-course message. Then he sighed: "Eddy, we have skirted over this subject so far but perhaps, sometime this weekend, we'll get around to discussing some of it."

Eddy brow creased at the convoluted way in which the sentence had been formulated.

They had left the airport grounds and were now on what looked like a highway.

Christian Grey and his mother…His father and his mother… '_Ana likes peonies'_… '_I couldn't let her do this alone'_… Did he even want to talk about this? His instincts screamed at him 'don't go there', but could he not go there? '_Ana likes peonies.'…_

"I thought you wouldn't be able to make it to the airport," he said the first thing he could think off to move the conversation, and his thoughts, onto something else.

"I just meant I was not going to come inside," Christian replied, recognizing Teddy's attempt to change the topic but now a little worried. "Eddy, this weekend, you coming here, I have to admit I had another motive in asking you to come to Seattle, than just to meet the rest of the family."

He paused to search for the right words.

"This is my life. I have told you that it has some limitations, restrictions, and you have seen some of that in Charlotte. There are advantages, but words cannot describe the trade-off. You have to see, to experience it for yourself, and make your own decision about it. But I have perhaps not given enough consideration to the fact that bringing you here will also open certain topics which you might rather not approach."

There: Christian's tell – he'd gone all formal and business-like. The soft leather cover of the seats was caressing Eddy's hand…but there were two security guards in the front seat and Christian had not been able to come inside the terminal.

"It's fine. You are right, I need to know. So…where are we going?"

Still worried but also keen to dispel the unease between them, Christian nodded once: "The house. I thought that for today it will be just you and me and Samantha. We'll meet with my mother and brother tomorrow."

They had just passed under a highway bridge and were now on a six- lane highway.

"Will we be passing GEH?"

"Would you like to?" Christian asked a little surprised but full of hope.

"Yeah, I think I would," Eddy admitted, and the admission reminded him of the purpose for this trip: learn about this man, his father. He allowed himself to sink a little deeper in the seat: 'Carpe diem'.

Twenty minutes later they were on the Evergreen Point Bridge. To their guards relief they had only passed GEH without stopping – 'Mr Grey,' McKenzie had warned attracting a glacial stare from Christian. But with a sigh Christian had relented and explained: 'It's the middle of the working day. There will be too many people around to be able to contain the repercussions of our presence there.'

Besides the GEH building and a relatively close view of the Space Needle –we'll dine there tonight, Christian had informed him – there had not been much that had set Seattle apart in Eddy's mind. But now on the bridge, with the lake shimmering dark blue below them, he was reminded of the day spent sailing and…of where he was going. In Carol-Ann's words: 'billionaire county, zillionaire lane'.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Christian prompted.

Eddy shook his head: "Sorry, got caught up in the view. I was thinking about the boat."

"It was a good day," Christian acknowledged. "The Grace III is at the house, if you want to go sailing tomorrow. I can ask mom and Elliot to join us instead."

"Thank you. I would like to go sailing again but I'm sure everybody has made plans. It wouldn't feel right to change them last minute."

Christian assessed him for a moment: "Ok, we'll go next time, but I still get to show you the boat today." And the serious business man looked…smug.

Eddy shook his head and smiled: "Deal."

His eyes remained focused on his son but the smile slowly melted away from Christian's his face: "I have refrained from explaining or warning you about anything because I wanted you to have an untainted first impression, but I will explain everything as we go along."

The two lane street they were now cruising on was bordered by high trees and thick, tall, lush hedges, here and there interrupted by the entrance to a drive way. Eventually the car slowed down and turned left to a single lane road where a sign on the side announced: PRIVATE PROPERTY – NO TRESPASSING.

"From here on the road is under CCTV surveillance," Christian explained the apparent lack of more elaborate security arrangements.

Just far enough to not be visible from the main road, a dark metal gate anchored to stone pillars on each side blocked the road as a mixture of trees and shrubbery ensured no vehicle could bypass it on the sides. To the left the road extended into a small parking lot where about ten cars of various models were parked and just by the gate a guard house was the only visible sign of any security measures.

"Only the SUVs and our private cars are allowed on the property," said Christian as the massive gate swung open to let them pass, "everybody else is either chauffeured in one of the SUVs or, if they work here, they use one of the electric carts."

The gates were already closing behind them and the road ahead was winding down a gentle slope, flanked by the forest on the right and to the left by trees planted at regular intervals, obscuring most of the view.

"McKenzie." Christian called the man seated in front of Eddy.

Greg McKenzie turned in his seat to address his newest charge: "The doors inside the house have handles on the inside but to get into most of the rooms you would either have to call the main security office or use a palm pad."

He paused to retrieve what looked like a tablet from the glove compartment and presented the empty screen to Eddy: "Before you can use the palm pads we would need to enter your hand print into the system."

Eddy couldn't help a frowning glance towards his father. Christian's expression was…closed off:

"Some visitors to the house have been…curious, so this is more to ensure private areas remain private. There are only two other people who can use the palm pads: myself and Samantha," he said, gray eyes unblinkingly waiting for his son's reaction.

Eddy looked from his father back to the security man and realization dawning he gingerly placed his hand on the glass surface.

"You need to press firmly, make sure your whole hand touches the glass," McKenzie instructed.

As soon as McKenzie lowered the device away from Teddy's hand, Christian continued in the same soft voice he had used for the palm-pad explanation: "There is an intercom at every door that goes directly to the security office. If you need anything, or if you want to leave the property, all you need to do is use one to call one of the security guards."

"Why would I…"

The presence of the two security men had not bothered him until now, but suddenly Eddy was acutely aware of their presence and so he left his sentence unfinished.

"I sincerely hope you won't want to leave, or that if you wanted to, you would tell me, but I don't want you to feel…trapped."

This time Eddy felt embarrassed for a completely different reason: had he been so skittish that his father was afraid he might want to just bolt? Determined to change that impression he put as much conviction as he could in his voice: "If, for whatever reason, I would like to leave, I will tell you."

Some of the tension left Christian's face: "Welcome to Evergreen Point," he said as the road turned right.

Straight ahead the vast expanse of Lake Washington immediately commanded their attention, the skyline of the city separating the blue of the water from the blue of the sky.

"This is for formal events and guests," Christian said barely glancing at a long building to the right, "we live in the house."

The line of trees ended just as the road made a final left turn and Eddy got his first view of his father's home. From the side all he could see was a wall of dark grey natural stone, the severity of the colour made bearable by the gentleness of the immaculate green lawn. He caught a brief glimpse of a more colourful arrangement on the other side of the house but by now the building loomed too large for him be able to see past it.

The car finally passed a double garage door and came to a halt in front of the covered porch. Rather than the building itself, it was the figure of a young woman sat on the top of the stairs that caught Eddy's attention: jet black hair pulled back, purple top and black trousers, black flats.

As soon as the car stopped, McKenzie climbed out and opened the door for Teddy while Christian hurried to open his own door and round the back of the car, eager to introduce the two young people to one another.

He didn't get a chance: as soon as Teddy stepped out of the vehicle Samantha was on her feet and with an outstretched hand and beaming smile greeted her brother: "Hi, welcome to Seattle. I am Samantha. Most people call me Sam."

Automatically Eddy reached out to shake the outstretched hand: "Hi, Edward. Thank you. People call me Eddy or Ed."

To Christian's amusement and tremendous relief they didn't seem to need his help as Sam asked: "Ed?"

"Only at work, really."

"So is it OK if I call you Eddy?"

Eddy nodded: "And do you prefer Sam or Samantha?"

"Sam, please. Samantha is for school and for when he is in a serious mood," she said glancing towards her father. "Hi, dad," Samantha finally acknowledged him.

Watching his son and daughter interact made Christian's heart swell until his broad chest felt too small to contain it.

"Shall we go inside?" he took the lead before his feelings got the better of him.

Ten minutes later Eddy was making his way down the curved stair case. Christian had shown him to one of the two guest bedrooms upstairs and then went to change from his work clothes. In so far as first impressions counted, Eddy was both impressed and relieved. The house seemed large and spacious and everything he had seen so far was top of the shelf quality, but it was definitely closer to a family home than a palace. And then he'd noticed the view out of his bedroom window: immediately beyond a stone paved terrace a colourful rock garden, arranged to look haphazard, provided a stark contrast to the manicured green lawn only interrupted by the square shapes of a swimming pool and tennis court then leading straight to lake Washington and Christian's boat by the pier. 'Picture perfect' did not come close to doing it justice, a work of art was more like it and then some…

"Eddy, over here," Samantha waved at him from the entrance to the vast open space at the end of the foyer. Green eyes shining, she stood from where she had been sitting sideways in a gray armchair and took a few steps towards him. As he watched her move, Eddy couldn't help but compare her to Emma: Samantha was taller and where Emma was waif-like and tended to half-walk half-saunter to wherever she was going, Samantha was a bit more muscular and moved with more composure.

"I thought we could eat outside. It's not often we have such nice weather up here," she said but was interrupted by the front door opening to reveal the imposing figure of Greg McKenzie who marched himself into the foyer then stopped practically at attention and with a face set in stone. He nodded towards the young people: "Miss Grey, Mr Parson, is Mr Grey still upstairs?"

"I specifically requested no interruptions." Christian pointed out from the top of the stairs, and Eddy could feel goose bumps raising on his arms at the sudden coldness in the air.

"I apologize Mr Grey, it's the Esperanza. It's all over the news."

A deep frown forming between his eyebrows, Christian made his way down the steps then stopped as he reached Teddy and Samantha. His frown now firmly in place and his mouth tense he sparred a look for the two of them: "Let's see what this is about," he said and used his arm to indicate the open door leading to the room on the right side of the foyer.

A little hesitant but not wanting to cause a delay in what looked like an emergency, Teddy stepped into the room first and had to remind himself to keep walking as the 21st century remained firmly behind him and he was now in a space that would have befitted any 18th or perhaps 19th century mansion: the room was entirely covered in wood panels interrupted by carved arches cocooning rows after rows of books. The daylight coming from two high windows to the right was muted by white curtains, and the dark wood floor was almost entirely covered by a carpet in rich reds and dark blues. A wine-red sofa, two mismatched leather armchairs, a couple of low tables and…yes, in one corner a world globe on a foot stand completed the picture. '_Mom would be in heaven in here_' the thought came unbidden, and where the beauty of the room had not succeeded, the reality of his messed up family ties did stop him in his tracks.

Christian noticed Teddy abruptly stopping just two steps into the room, and made an effort to break his single minded stride and inject some warmth in his voice: "Come in Eddy, please have a seat. Hopefully this won't take long. The Esperanza is one of our cargo ships. She was due to reach Buchanan tomorrow to deliver a few crates of supplies for the refugee camps," he explained as he picked up a remote control from a table.

Samantha's light touch on his arm and the nod of her head towards the couch placed in front of the tall windows got him moving, and the two of them sat down. Christian remained standing as one of the wood panels moved to the side to reveal a small TV already tuned into CNN. A female anchor was reporting, but their attention was immediately drawn to the red banner reading: BREAKING NEWS: CARGO SHIP ESPERANZA BOARDED BY PIRATES OFF THE COAST OF LIBERIA.

"Fuck," the expletive left Christian's mouth as his hand reached to his breast only to realize that he was not in a jacket and didn't have his phone. From behind him, Greg McKenzie rescued the moment: "I have Mz Bailey for you, sir" he said and offered his boss a phone.

"Ros, where are you?"

The next few minutes were a blurr of Christian issuing a string of commands to various people. One hand pressing the phone to his ear and the other one constantly running through his hair, Christian paced the length of the room but stopped as Samantha turned up the volume on the TV.

"Hold on Leyland," Christian said, his attention now entirely devoted to listening to the sketchy news.

As the anchor impaired the scarce details of the hijacking, Christian's back stiffened and his shoulders pushed back. Instead of the rapid fire questions and orders from before, his voice acquired a cutting edge quality and every word was precisely enunciated when he informed the person still at the other end of the line: "Leyland, liaise with Andrea and get on the conference call, I'll join you in a moment," and with that he hung up and handed the phone back to McKenzie then dismissed him with a nod.

Christian turned his attention back to the other two occupants of the room and had to give himself the space of one breath to shut the lid on the anger brewing inside of him and make his voice sound calm and reasonable as he told them: "I'm sorry, but I have to deal with this. Please start eating without me. I'll join you as soon as I can."

With Christian gone, the room seemed empty and, despite the TV still droning in the background, quiet.

"Damn," Samantha whispered softly from where she sat beside him on the couch.

Eddy nodded: "You hear about stuff like that on the news but…" he shook his head realizing he was sort of part of the news now and changed tracks: "They say the ship was loaded, must be quite a loss."

"It's not that, it's more…he has been looking forward to having you here, spending time with you. He's probably devastated," she said her green eyes no longer shining with her previous excitement. "I hope you know it's not the ship, he wouldn't care about that. Or, yes he would, but it's the crew he'll be trying to get back home in one piece. If it weren't for them I'm sure he would have just let others deal with everything."

Eddy's discomfort at this reminder of just why he was there in the first place barely had time to register as Samantha took the lead: "C'mon, let's eat. Although, if you don't mind waiting a little longer, I think I'll take a couple of sandwiches to his office first."

"I don't mind but I can wait until he can join us."

Already standing, Samantha shook her head: "He wouldn't want us to wait."

As Samantha gathered various ingredients on the large table in the middle of the kitchen, Eddy offered: "Can I help?"

Placing a bowl of soup in a microwave and setting a timer only took him a few seconds and he returned to the breakfast table where Samantha was now expertly slicing roasted red peppers. Watching the precise slices being created, Eddy couldn't help the surprise out of his voice: "You cook?"

"I can if I have to, but Martha, our house keeper, does most of the cooking. Dad doesn't like any of the staff to be around when he's home so she tries to prepare everything in advance and then we're on our own. You?"

His mind half preoccupied with the agile hands now busy spreading butter and mustard then horseradish cream on a freshly sliced baguette he answered the question without filtering the words: "Not really, mom has tried to teach us but Nick's the only one…"

Samantha placed a couple of thin roast beef slices on the bread then lifted her head to watch her brother: "Nick, your brother? He cooks?"

Before the silence could become embarrassing she explained: "I know you have a brother and a sister, Nick and Emma. I know a little about them."

Under pretence of having to finish her task she lowered her eyes to give both of them some time to adjust, but she couldn't resist the temptation to peek at Teddy and the frown on his face made her stop and gently place the cheese shredder back on the surface.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

The look of concern on the young woman's face reminded him of his earlier promise to himself to stop being so god damn self-absorbed. He shook his head and pulled a chair to sit on: "You didn't upset me. It's just a little…" he waived his hand looking for the appropriate word.

"Weird?" Samantha prompted.

"Disconcerting," he admitted, grateful but a little surprised at her empathic remark.

She sighed and returned to her chores: "I realize it's not the same thing, but I get some of that quite often: people knowing who I am and knowing things about me, while I don't know anything about them. I think what bothers me the most is that…"

Coming to a realization of her own she finished slicing the sandwich with a slow motion then placed the two halves on a plate.

"If I promise to finish that sentence, can we pick this up after I take these to dad?"

Samantha was gone for less than two minutes then, each of them carrying a tray with the ingredients for their lunch, they finally stepped out of the kitchen and into the unusually warm summer day. Once again Eddy had to stop and just take in the magnificent view.

"On a day like today the view is about as good as it gets, but it is beautiful," Samantha acknowledged from just beside him.

Despite her earlier promise, Teddy's enquiry about how Christian was doing led the conversation in a different direction and they spent most of the lunch with her talking about their father's charity and relief work both in the US and abroad. Once the table was cleared and the dishes stowed away in the dishwasher, she once again suggested they go outdoors: "Dad would really like to show you around the house himself," she explained.

To the left of the door was an L-shaped sofa and that is where they found themselves seated, Samantha kicking off her flats to curl her legs underneath her and holding one of the pillows in her lap.

"What I said before, about people knowing things about you: the thing I hate the most is when they think they know you just because they know your name and where you live. I never thought that I was doing much the same thing," she admitted then turned her face away from him and towards the view over the lake. "I have always known you were my brother and…this is embarrassing, but in my head we had all these conversations and I", she lowered her head, "kind of loose track that those talks were only in my mind."

Surprised both by her words and by her honesty, Eddy had no choice but to reply with some of the same candour: "I have to admit that I didn't know, not only about you, but about any of this, until a few weeks ago. I still don't know a lot about my life before Rock Hill. Christian said you knew about me and that you wanted to meet me, but… I wasn't sure how you would feel about that, about me coming here, into your life."

She was now looking at him and shook her head once: "He was supposed to be here and help with this stuff…It feels a little unreal that you are actually here, but I am really, really happy that you are."

Despite his resolution to focus more on the people around him, Eddy could not help but wonder how he could, again, be torn between the feeling that her words made something settle and be put to rest inside him, and the one that this had nothing to do with him, that they were merely discussing a fictional character called Teddy Grey.

"So, those conversation we were having…anything in particular we were discussing?" he said, trying to dispel the awkwardness.

"Oh, you know…'_life, the universe and everything'_," Samantha replied, not ready to admit that the actual topics would cover everything from her occasional frustration with their father, to the latest song to hit the charts.

Not sure what to make of her reply, Eddy assessed her for a moment: "_42_," he said deadpan.

To his relief she giggled: "That's a bit of a conversation killer. You have read the book then?"

"The Hitchiker? Yeah, one of my favourites."

Discussing books was an easy and neutral subject and they spent a few minutes doing just that, until they found themselves debating how much was lost in translation when the original was in a foreign language: "Take Camus: how are you really meant to translate 'Aujourd'hui, maman est morte'? The usual one of 'Mother died today' implies the mother will be the subject of the paragraph. But if you keep the words in the right order, 'Today, mother has died', what matters is the time frame: today. You disagree?" Samantha asked, noticing the expression on Teddy's face.

Eddy shook his head: "No, I just...you know I speak French?"

And they were back into the unchartered territory of what they did and didn't know about each other. At her dejected look he racked his mind for the little he knew about his father's daughter, trying to even the balance between them:

"Christian told me a little about you too."

"Oh, God! Do I dare ask what?"

Amused but not unsympathetic to her panic he reassured her: "Nothing too bad. You like maths?"

Making a show of blowing out in relief, she nodded: "Yeah. Everybody and their uncle seem surprised I'll be doing a degree in maths, but dad is OK with it so…" she shrugged.

That one was not so hard to figure out: "You were expected to choose something to do with business?"

"That or perhaps something more…lady like: arts, literature, history, that kind of thing."

"Speaking of which, thank you for coming to my graduation."

"It was my pleasure," Samantha once again beamed at him, "Congratulations. That was quite an achievement. I hope I'll do as well as you did."

"So where will you go? WSU?"

Eddy didn't have to wonder for long why his question brought a serious expression back on her face and caused her green eyes to widen.

"Harvard," she let out.

Judging by her body language a 'me too' would have been superfluous. 'Teddy Grey meet Edward Parson', the absurd introduction played for a moment in his mind and he sighed: "_'Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?'_"

Samantha just stared back for a moment then recognizing the quote she laughed: "_'Time is an illusion, lunch time doubly so_'," she quoted in reply. "Speaking of which, I'm getting restless. How about I show you around the outside of the house?

It took them almost ten minutes to round the house, which, Eddy decided, had looked small mostly because of how much open space there was around it. Between Samantha explaining some of what he was looking at – the building for the formal gatherings, the security building up the hill, the cottage at the other end of the property for their house keeper and gardener, and the helipad they could only glimpse behind the trees – and some insight into how all of that fitted together – 'there's always security around, at the gate of course but also patrolling the grounds and monitoring the cameras' and 'Mr and Mrs Lance live there. Martha is our house keeper and her husband is in charge of the grounds. They have been with us for five years because I begged dad not to let them go after the usual three, but their contract is ending next year and I doubt he would agree to keep them on for another term.'- they had also managed to discuss some of her interest in maths and his choice of law, of which she had, again, already been aware.

Almost all the way around the house he had been surprised by the vast and lush…atrium was too modest a term to describe it, winter garden seemed more appropriate, and now they were back where they had started: in the backyard of the residence.

"Shall we go down to the lake?" Sam asked.

Eddy nodded curious to see how the house looked like seen from below.

As they approached the shoreline and the pier, the white and dark blue shape of Christian's boat grew larger and his eyes kept getting drawn to it.

"Want to see the boat?" Samantha asked

"I think Christian wanted to do that himself."

"Yeah, I suppose he would," she agreed then raised a hand to shield her eyes from the glare and her face broke in a wide smile. "Mac is here! Oh, you have to meet him! He's Irish and can tell the most incredible stories!"

Forgetting the newness of their relationship she grabbed his hand and almost dragged him along as she quickly explained: "I told you dad doesn't want people to work for us for too long, he thinks it makes them too…familiar, settled in. Mac is the exception to that. Dad brought him over from Europe when he bought the boat, the one we had before. He said Mac had taught him how to sail and he doesn't really live with us, just takes care of the boat half the year…Mac!" she interrupted her tirade to hail the person crouching on the rear deck.

The sailor straightened up and squinted. At sixty three his vision was not quite what it used to be, but he could never find the damn glasses when he needed them. His lips curved in a smile and the corners of his eyes creased with a few more wrinkles as he recognized Samantha Grey, then he turned his attention to the young man walking beside her.

_Another time and another place, the marina on the Sound, a smaller custom build catamaran and a young Christian Grey gingerly holding a squirming toddler: 'Mac this is my son, Theodore Raymond Grey, Teddy.' _

His hair had been much lighter, almost the same colour as his father's, but despite the darker hair the resemblance that had only been a promise then was now plain to see: the shape of the eyes and the eyebrows, the nose, the full lips and the square jaw…if this wasn't Christian Grey's son he was not Liam McConnell.

Watching Christian with his son that summer had brought home all he himself had missed on, all the dreams he had left behind in the old country. He hadn't known of his employer's divorce until the next spring when he had returned to Seattle from his winter job. Instead of asking him to prepare the boat for sailing, Grey had asked him to sell her –'_find her a good home Mac'_. Adrift without a job, his thoughts increasingly consumed by the cruelty of fate who seemed to give with one hand just to take away with both, he was toying with the idea of maybe going back to face his own demons, the ones he had left on the shores of his native Ireland. His last paycheque had helped make the decision easier, although he did try to give some of it back –'_Mr Grey, it's a million dollars. It's just too much_.' The reply had wrenched his heart and gave him the push he needed: '_I have money, Mac. I can assure you I won't miss them_.'

Not the money, no. What the younger man missed was his family: the son and the mother who, McConnel had learned from the town gossip, had left him and left town…He let his eyes roam over the young man he had last seen when he was a toddler.

"Master Theodore!" he exclaimed, feeling some of his faith in whatever power governed the universe being restored.

His words however hit Eddy like a brick wall and brought Samantha's world to a standstill. Both of them froze in their stride with the smiles still stretching their lips looking unnatural and forced rather than the expression of joy and enthusiasm they had been a moment earlier.

As all three regained some control over their facial expressions and vague tendrils of thought once again formed in the silence of their minds, Samantha turned her head to look from one man to the other: if Mac didn't know Teddy was coming…aside from Martha nobody else was even supposed to know he was going to be here…Theodore, she hardly ever thought of Teddy that way, why would Mac…_'he has taught me how to sail, I knew I could trust him with the boat and with you'…_The Grace III.

"I'm sorry," the old man frowned. "I suppose I just made a fool of m'self, didn't I, running my mouth like that? Will you be wanting to come aboard Miss Grey?"

At her slight nod they both climbed on board and then stood facing Christian's old and trusted employee.

"Mac, this is Edward Parson," she started, sticking to what she thought her brother would prefer, "and Eddy, this is Liam McConnell."

"Mr McConnell," Eddy stretched his hand out in greeting.

Mechanically the old man returned the gesture and the two shook hands.

"Well, I'd better go back and crack on with me duties. Will yous be on board for a wee?" McConnell replied, his accent getting heavier with each word.

"I'm not sure. I didn't know you'll be here and when I saw you, we really just came by to say hello," Samantha offered.

Only looking at Edward from the corner of his eye, Mac nodded: "I'm after findin' a banjaxed latch and thought I'd better check on the rest of them. Mr Parson, please don't pay any mind to an ol' eejit. Serves me right for gawking at people an' letting me mind wonder about," he finished, looking at a spot somewhere on Eddy's right shoulder rather than at the young man.

"Mr McConell," Eddy felt sorry for the old sailor but didn't really know what to tell him…

"Mac, please call me Mac," he replied still wearing that looking-through-things glaze over his dark brown eyes.

"Mac," Eddy acknowledged. "I'm sorry I don't remember you like you seem to remember me."

Mac's eyes focused again and despite his self-berating remark about gawking he couldn't stop himself from letting them roam all over the face of the young man. His brow creasing in concentration he tried to bring some clarity into the situation: "So I was not entirely wrong in what I said?"

"No Mr…Mac. You were right. I just…don't go by that name anymore."

Mac shook his head: "It was a long time ago, you were but a wee lad, at least I think that's who you were… Only saw you a few times, mainly knew of you."

"Dad had another boat, the first Grace, didn't he?" Samantha found her voice.

"Yes, Miss Grey, that he did. Maybe it would be better if ye ask Mr Grey to explain all about it," Mac answered wondering what kind of game fate was playing today, and not feeling up to playing along. "Le' me just finish this 'ere and then I'll be headin' on."

As Mac abruptly turned back to whatever he was doing on the deck to begin with abandoning the two young people to their own devices, Sam and Eddy took the few steps into the saloon.

"Eddy, I'm sorry. It seems so obvious now, but I didn't stop long enough to think about it."

Trying to sort out his own thoughts, Eddy sunk into the U shaped sofa.

"There shouldn't be a need to apologize," he voiced his confusion.

"I know you'd rather…"

She didn't seem to finish her sentence so he tried to finish it for her: "Rather not be reminded of who I am? Yet this is kind of the point with me being here."

They stared at each other for a moment and then he shook his head: "_This must be Thursday…I never could get the hang of Thursdays._"

Samantha's smile was not as broad as he had hoped for, but it was there, and she did come up with a suitable reply in their impromptu game: "In this case, would you like a drink that is '_almost, but not quite, entirely __unlike__ tea_?'"

While Samantha brought them drinks, Eddy collected his thoughts and by the time she joined him on the sofa he stated more than asked: "The meeting with Mac…I expect tomorrow is going to be a lot like that."

"Possibly, although they do know you are coming so they won't be taken by surprise."

"I don't suppose they have read the Hitchhiker, have they?"

"They might have, but I'm not sure how well they can quote from it," Samantha recognized his attempt to hide some of his apprehension behind a joke. "I could always stage whisper," she offered.

xXx

Three hours later Christian had to accept that there wasn't anything more he could do for now. A rescue operation was being set up and the result would not be known for several hours. _'24 to 48 hours is a conservative estimate, Mr Grey_,' is the best he had been able to get before the team leader of the rescue op had signed off the conference call.

Only the CNN screen was still active and he switched that off as well, then leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes for a moment, pushing business and his troubles on the other side of the world from his immediate thoughts. When he opened them again it was to scan the face of the woman in the pictures framing his door and picked up his phone to send a quick message: 'Any problems?'.

To his surprise Elliot answered immediately: 'No problems. Both mom and Ana still in one piece. Is the ship one of yours?'

'Yes. Where are you?'

'Shit, sorry man. You don't know?'

'I'll sort it out and no I don't.'

'My office, had something to catch up on. Leaving soon.'

'Where will you be?'

Christian frowned and almost dialled Elliot when the reply took too long to come, but eventually his screen did light up: 'Mission'

That explained the delay: a fucking bar? Had he been sure Ana wasn't there he would have called Elliot this time. As it were he started typing but got interrupted by a new message: 'Too early for dinner and can't take her into town centre. I've got this bro.'

And there it was, neatly packed in one sentence, the reason why this was so damn difficult. Elliot was right: there were too many places with too many memories of the two of them together, then there was the risk that Ana would be recognized. If that happened he might have to get there…

He had learned to cope with watching Ana from a distance: from behind a camera lens, or a window, or the shadows at the back of a room. But the few moments they had spent in close proximity at the hospital... The chemistry, the charge, the undeniable attraction between the two of them, had left him shaken and drained by the effort it had taken to resist the pull of those feelings. Had it not been for Teddy…

'Christian?' his phone once again lit up

Shaken out of the memory he noticed his hand clutching the phone and his increased heart beat.

'You're right. Thanks Elliot.'

'Sure thing. Laters'

Christian stood and tucked the phone in his back pocket then removed the tie and white shirt he had put on before the conference call and discarded them on the armchair by the door. Picking up his empty plate and glass, he stopped to one more time look at Ana: to imprint himself with her image and with the reminder that he had a fucking mountain to climb before he could handle meeting her in September.

**AN: next chapter will be wrapping up the Friday in Seattle**


	44. Summer Storm Ch43 Who am I?

**AN: Sorry for the delay, internet has been down on the whole street since Friday evening! So without further ado: part 2 of Friday in Seattle.**

Ch 43 Who am I?

"Bye mom."

Emma hung up and handed the phone back to her father over the small dinner table holding their steaks, fries and salad.

"One of us should probably learn how to cook," she spoke out loud the thought that had just about formed in her mind and instantly regretted it, the regret replaced by apprehension when her father failed to respond. She chanced a glance under the cover of her bowed head to find him looking at her.

"Emma, Belle will be home in the morning."

"But for how long?" she muttered finding that once the dam had been breached she couldn't really hold the words inside.

"What do you mean?"

Emma sighed and finished chewing the bit of food then, still not looking at her father, voiced her worry: "You and mom are not getting back together, are you?"

It was Dan's turn to sigh: "It's complicated, Emma. I don't think any of us want to be where we are right now but we'll try to figure it out. I did promise there won't be any more surprises and I'll stick to that."

They tried to talk about something else during the few minutes it took to finish their meal but when they were almost done picking up after themselves and before Dan could disappear in front of the TV, Emma found the courage to ask: "Is it because of Eddy's father?"

Sat on the couch in their family room, Dan wondered how he could explain to Emma what was going on in their family. The only way he could think of was to tell her the story of how him and Belle met.

"When I met Belle, Jane had only been gone for less than a year…."

The children had asked before and they knew about the Christmas story telling event at the library and the play dates for the boys and that Fourth of July dance, but not about how broken both their parents had been at the time, how they had found solace in a kindred soul who could accept the other's limitations and neither wish for nor impose more on one another.

"We have, I think, a good life together, but now Belle has been reminded of her life from before Rock Hill. I don't think our quiet life here is what she ever whished for herself. With Nick in Charleston, Eddy in Boston and then who knows where, and you in New York, perhaps it is time for her to go after her own dreams." he finished his tale.

"But what about you?"

"I think I'll hang around for a little while longer," Dan replied with that pensive and a little sad look Emma had noticed on him a few times in the past couple of months.

"A little while? So you think you might be moving away too?"

"Emma, sweetheart, your mom and I did as well as we could, but we have both been a little stuck in out pasts so maybe it's time to really try and let the past be the past and move forward."

"But mom is not anywhere new, she is back in Seattle!" Emma frowned.

"I know, Emma."

There was something else than sadness in her dad's voice and in his face and she remembered how this whole conversation started.

"What I mean is, she will only remember even more. What if she doesn't get angry or sad? If she remembers the nice parts and wants to…He is divorced you know, Eddy's father, and he has done all this stuff for us…"

Dan shook his head gently: "Your mother says that doesn't mean much and to be honest I don't know. But if it does happen…she will still be your mom, and Nick's and Eddy's even if she and I are no longer together."

xXx

Ana hung up and placed the phone back in her purse then turned around from starring at the view outside to find Elliot standing with both hands in his pockets, watching her.

"I apologize," Elliot said, "I didn't intend to invade your privacy but when I realized who you were talking to...I think I just needed this dose of reality check. But I do apologize. You are my guest and I do know better."

"That was Emma, my daughter."

With that admission, reality was indeed back on track: she wasn't just Ana anymore, she wasn't just Christian's former lover, partner and wife or the mother of his son. She had a life and a family away from Seattle and other people who needed her, depended on her, and counted on her.

Elliot's relaxed posture stiffened and his blue eyes acquired a hard glint, but this time Ana refused to back down and his stare softened even if his posture didn't: "If you are still certain that there isn't anywhere else you would like to go, I think we could both do with a drink and perhaps some time to talk."

"Isn't it a little early for a drink?"

"It's after four," Elliot shrugged, "and I know just the place."

Ana's experience of bars was limited and quite a few years out of date but surely she would have remembered if the place was usually this dark? When first entering the place, the contrast with the bright sunshine outdoors made the interior look almost pitch black with colourful dots here and there which did nothing to illuminate the place.

After a few minutes her eyes had adjusted and ensconced in the far corner of a booth with tall padded sides and surrounded by lightning dim enough that the occupiers of other booths remained faceless, she could understand why Elliot had picked the place.

"What would you like to drink?"

"A beer please."

Without asking for further clarification Elliot ordered two bottles of a brand Ana didn't recognize and then slumped back against the padded backrest. The ride from his office had been short, but it had also been quiet and the silence was not the one between old friends comfortable with each other.

"I am married, Elliot, and I have a daughter and another son. Stepson, but I have not thought of Nick that way…I don't think I have ever thought of him that way," Ana stated, gently.

"I know," Elliot replied. "But it's one thing to hear about it and another to see you interact with them."

Elliot did not elaborate or offer anything else and Ana was starting to feel bone weary of having to keep explaining and justifying herself and by the time their beers arrived they were both still lost in their own thoughts.

"Ana," Elliot started after raising his glass in a salute and taking a sip of the cold drink, "can I ask you what prompted this? The meeting with the judge, I mean."

"Has…Christian, not told you?"

"No."

Ana sighed: "Christian wrote to me, a month before Teddy's graduation. Among other things he has sent me the deeds for the house and the publishing company - they are in my name, my unmarried name. It's part of what I was trying to tell you earlier today: he has 'ensured they were well looked after' – his words- and has sent me the deeds and a cheque for my earnings as owner over the past eighteen years."

Elliot simply starred at her for several seconds: "I had no idea. He did refer to the house as yours but I thought it was…a figure of speech. Forgive me but I'm pretty sure Christian bought the house. I was with him, did a survey before he signed the contract."

"He put it in my name. I didn't know until after we got married. And the company he…it was his wedding present, one of his wedding presents," she explained. "He did try to tell me to read before I signed anything."

"But you didn't?"

She shook her head and Elliot frowned in concentration. This sounded like just another one of the cluster fucks in his brother's life so he chose to drop the questions, except for one: "So what happens now?"

"I can't let him continue to take care of them for me. He insisted that I don't have to sell GP, that I can hire a management company to run it, and I have more or less agreed to that, but I just can't keep the house."

Elliot leaned his head to one side and tried to decipher the expression on her face in the dim lightning.

"I don't suppose you'd know of a good realtor?" Ana asked with a lopsided smile, trying to move away from delving too deep into her feelings about that house.

Elliot got a sinking feeling that he was missing something, so he traded carefully with his answer: "I could probably recommend someone for when you come back."

"I'm not coming back, Elliot," Ana said and couldn't keep the sadness and regret from her voice. "I thought I'd just contact somebody, sign whatever papers they need and let them do their jobs."

That sinking feeling was now a deep pit in Elliot's belly: "Like a moving company?"

"No, I meant the realtor. Why would I need a moving company?"

"Ana, when he wrote to you, Christian didn't tell you…he didn't mention…" he searched for the right words: "The house, Ana. It's exactly as you left it."

Ana searched his face for a moment and then she realized: "It's still furnished?"

"Not just furnished, Ana. It's exactly as you left it. I go there now and then to do some maintenance. Early last year I arrived at the same time as Christian. There is this vase of flowers in the foyer. When he saw them he went ballistic. Apparently they were the wrong colour. He fired the housekeeper over that."

Much like Elliot had previously, Ana was almost certain that she was missing something: Elliot got to the house at the same time as Christian….fresh flowers…housekeeper….her eyes widened in horror:

"He lives there?!"

"What? No, what made you think that?"

"Well you said he was there and there were flowers and a housekeeper…"

Is that how it had been all those years ago when Ana and Christian had separated? Words meaning different things for different people? Actions looking like something else than what they were? And with neither asking the questions….he shook his head: "Because everything is where you left it, exactly how you left it. You could go there right now and the only thing you'd need to do is inform the staff of when you want your dinner served and change into your favourite outfit. The house is fully staffed, cleaned, stocked. Your belongings, Teddy's, Christian's, everything is exactly as you left it. You…you left a handbag on the dresser in your bedroom."

Dread, horror, shock, all cursed through Ana's veins, leaving her numb, speechless and unable to move.

"You really didn't know?"

A tiny shake of her head was all Ana could muster and Elliot suddenly felt a deep urge to dig in his heels and stop himself from gliding deeper into the alternate universe that was his brother's life. Unfortunately for her Ana was just across the table from him and so he lashed out at her: "Just what did you think he did with all your stuff?"

"Packed it, burned it, gave it away, I have no idea: it has been eighteen years!" Ana reacted to the obvious aggression in his question.

They were left glaring at each other until the brief surge of adrenaline subsided and the glare was replaced with the same look of incredulity.

"Elliot," Ana started ,gently, carefully, "When I said I didn't keep in touch, didn't keep up with any of the news, I really meant that. Partly and for a long time I just couldn't bring myself to think about any of it, but even now I…The things that are online and in the news, I don't have to tell you how misleading those can be. I didn't want to get a wrong impression or false information, but it also means I know close to nothing about Christian."

She raised her hand to stop him from interrupting her: "I don't want you to betray his confidence but there is so much I don't know….I don't want to hurt him, Elliot. No more than I have already done."

Elliot had seen the shock on her face, then the anger at his provocation, the incredulity at just how far Christian's obsession with her could take things and now watched the sadness replace all that. He had to admit there was probably some truth to her words: her ignorance might lead her to do or say something that would hurt Christian. Case in point: the house he had so obsessively maintained and which she was going to just put in the hands of a realtor. But what could he tell her without betraying Christian's confidence?

"I told you when we met in Carolina that he was in pretty bad shape after you left. He did get better, but it took him a long time to get to where he is now. His marriage was…I don't really know what it was to be honest. They were only married long enough for Marlene to give birth to Samantha. She didn't stick around to even wean the kid and I have no idea what they told the judge but Christian has sole custody. We have not heard from her since. After a couple of years he went on a few dates and at one point met someone we thought could turn into something more serious. She disappeared from one day to another and after that he just poured himself into raising Sam and running GEH. He has a few friends, acquaintances he meets outside of work, but he only gives people a little piece of himself at a time, keeps everybody on a 'need to know' basis. He has found a way of coping, a measure of peace, or had, until these past couple of months."

Elliot sighed: "I can't begin to tell you what it means for him to have Teddy back in his life and how much it terrifies him that something will go wrong and he will lose this chance to reconnect with him."

Ana had been absorbing the words, drinking them in, concentrating on memorizing every single one of them and file away for later. She couldn't allow them to reach more than her mind right now and possibly break her. This was not about her, it was about Christian and avoiding hurting him any further and Elliot's last sentence reinforced that resolution.

"I know, I'll do whatever I can to help with that or at least to not make things any harder. Teddy is…" she took a deep breath: "When he makes up his mind it's very hard to try and change it and he doesn't respond well to being pushed."

They were both very much aware of somebody else who could fit that description…

"Ana, you and Christian," Elliot prodded carefully, "are you…It seems unlikely that the two of you will be able to maintain the distance and the…radio silence now that he sees Teddy and Teddy is around him and…" he let his voice trail not sure how to continue.

"We agreed to meet in September," Ana helped him out. "Perhaps I should let everything else wait until then," she said thinking out loud, hoping it would be easier to talk to him once they had cleared some of the air between them.

"Why September?"

"Teddy leaves for Harvard. We thought it would be better if him and Christian could have the next few weeks to themselves without me getting in the way."

Yeah, Elliot could see how that was a big one for Christian, much more so than Ana probably realized. The image of Christian and Ana sitting down together to talk flashed through his mind and filled him with a deep unease. If he was affected by being in her presence rather than talking about her or seeing a picture…Christian stumbling drunk into their suite in Carolina…All Greg McKenzie would tell him is that Christian had met with Ana and Dan. If that was what that meeting had done to Christian, what would being alone with her do? Suddenly September seemed way too soon…and he would have his own problems to deal with.

"How the hell did we get here?" he voiced his frustration

"We were talking about the house," Ana reminded him hesitantly, actually hoping they could drop the subject.

"No, I mean, the mess we've made of our lives. You and Christian, me and Kate," he stopped talking for a moment and frowned: "Does Kate know you are in town?"

From the frying pan and into the fire…

"No, she doesn't."

"But…If it's because of me, I told you I know you've been in touch, and so does Christian."

"You said so and I had already figured out about Christian," Ana said, refusing to provide any more details and choosing to busy herself by emptying her glass.

Surprised by the harshness in her tone, Elliot watched her drain her glass then put it back down firmly enough that it made a slight thumping noise against the table.

"I'd rather not talk about Kate, Elliot. She's your wife and part of the family and there has already been enough damage done."

The anger was unmistakable in Ana's voice. Damage? Did Ana know something that would damage the family? Whose family? While he was preoccupied with trying to figure out Ana's cryptic words, her face went from angry to inquiring with a small frown forming between her eyebrows and a question in her eyes. He nodded a small nod, giving her permission to voice the question.

"You have a son?"

"Matt, Matthew. He is fourteen and lives with his mother."

"Does Kate…" she stopped cursing herself for bringing the name back into the conversation.

"She does now. I told her a couple of weeks ago."

The frown deepened between Ana's eyebrows: "But you knew… you have known about him?"

"Yes. I found out when he was four. I have been in touch with him, visited him. They are in Sacramento." A little apologetic he added: "I'm not Christian. The business is successful enough but nothing close to GEH."

Ana just nodded, keen to move on for once that she and Christian were not the subject of the conversation, then something registered: "But if you have known for ten years…" Unsure if it was OK for her to ask for details she let her voice trail.

"I…kept things separate. I only told mom last year. Christian knows of course."

Ana frowned: "Elliot, I am the last person to have any right to tell other parents what to do, but I have seen first-hand what it did to Teddy to find out the truth, to have his whole reality shattered."

"Matt knows about me. He knows I have a family and that his mother and I…"Elliot felt the heat rising above his collar. "Mary and I were only together for a short time," he finished then sighed: "But I know what you mean. He is no longer OK with the situation as it is and…I am going to make it official. Recognize him as my son and bring them to Seattle. So I had to tell Kate. We have still not told Ava, or Mia for that matter."

Ana finally got what he had meant by 'How the hell did we get here?'

"Not that I want to change the subject, if you want to talk, but do I even dare ask about Mia?"

Relieved actually, Elliot slumped back on the couch and took a big sip of his beer.

"Mia is great. She and Paul have three children: Christina is sixteen and the twins, Alexander and Sebastian, will be fourteen in December."

"Mia has twins?"

"Identical twins, yes. They're a handful, always up to one prank or another, drive her crazy. She speaks Italian a million miles a minute, like a true Mamma. Sometimes I think they do as they are told just to get her to shut up."

xXx

While Ana and Elliot were picking their way through what they could and couldn't tell each other about their lives, Christian was finally about to show Teddy around the house.

He had emerged from his office half an hour earlier, anxious about just how long he had spent locked away in conference calls. With Samantha seeing Teddy as her brother while Teddy was so insecure about his past and knew close to nothing about any of them, he had planned – counted - on being there to help smooth out what was bound to be an awkward first meeting. Besides, Samantha had her own insecurities.

"_Dad, are you going to tell him?"_

"_Tell him what?"_

"_About me, that I am not really your daughter."_

That was the previous evening and the question had taken him by surprise. They had not had that conversation in several years. Placing an arm around her shoulders he half turned to look at her so she could have no doubt about the sincerity of his words: _"You are my daughter, Sam. Nothing will ever change that."_

A testimony to the years that had passed and the more mature frame of mind of his daughter, instead of dissolving into sobs against his chest, she had grabbed his hand with her own: _"I know, but you know what I mean,"_ she had scolded him as only she could.

"_I won't lie to him if he asks me directly, but that is a very remote possibility."_

"_He has a right to know."_

"_Why?"_ he had asked, not challenging her, but simply requesting more information, curious to hear how she was thinking.

Samantha had searched his face for several seconds before admitting: _"I don't know how to put it in words. Perhaps it is not about Teddy as much as about me. I…don't want to deceive him."_

"_You won't deceive him, Sam. Regardless of biology you are my daughter. How long have you been mulling over this?"_

"_I had not thought of it in a long time but in the last couple of days… It's not only Teddy. I wonder if everybody else would still look at me the same if they knew the truth."_

"_Everybody?"_

"_Grandma, uncle Elliot, even Ava."_

He had stumbled over something that troubled her and the flip side of Sam no longer being fourteen was that she might now see through his attempts to simply reassure her.

"_How important is this to you?"_

"_Important enough. I know we have talked about this before but I think I'd like to know, once and for all."_

"_You are almost eighteen. The reason we have kept this between us is probably already moot and will certainly be so next month."_

"_They won't take me away from you."_

"_No they won't. Sam, can you wait until after you start at Harvard, or at least until closer to that time? When you turn eighteen most of the injunctions in place against the press publishing anything about you will no longer be valid. I have people working on it and I don't expect anybody in the family to run to the press with this, but things do have a way of coming out. If the paparazzi get hold of it, there will be very little I'll be able to do to protect you in Seattle. It will be easier if you are in Boston and most of it would have died down by the time you return."_

He had found Teddy and Samantha sitting on the patio and, judging by the occasional hand movement and head nod, engaged in conversation.

While they asked about his problems with the ship and then brought him up to speed with how they had used the time, only part of his mind stayed on the conversation. The other part was thoroughly absorbed by observing the interaction between the two: a glance now and then confirming that the other was comfortable with whatever had just been said, a small head nod giving a 'go ahead', a glint of amusement in their eyes and a fleeting smile at what seemed to be a secret joke.

"_I showed Eddy around the grounds a little, but for the most part we have been talking."_

"_I see. Anything in particular you were discussing?"_

_Samantha had looked like she was going to reply but then turned her head to look at Teddy and they both started laughing._

"_I'm sorry, we have discovered we both like Hitchhiker well enough to quote from it and you've just asked the question that started that discussion," Samantha said._

"_The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy," Eddy explained._

_Finally seeing the funny side Christian nodded: "Life the universe and everything. And which one of you gave the answer?"_

"_Eddy, did. I didn't know you knew the book that well."_

"_I don't. I think the only other quote I remember is 'this is probably the best button to press' and only because Barney has it as a motto for his team."_

"_Barney Sullivan," Samantha explained for Teddy's benefit. "Dad's resident IT guru. What he doesn't know about computers is not worth knowing." _

_A pause and then the remark that had unsettled him the most: "Nick would probably love to meet him."_

If they were comfortable talking about Teddy's brother…Before he could finish that thought, he had been brought up short by the change in Teddy's eyes: he had looked relaxed enough at Sam's remark but now his gaze had shifted from Samantha onto him and from relaxed to questioning. He found himself scrambling to acknowledge: "_I would be more than happy for that to happen."_

He would have to concede a point to Dr Renner, because after the first moment of relief that Sam and Teddy seemed to get along just fine, his next reaction had been one of unease and the damn shrink had predicted it correctly: their relationship was not something he could control and they now had each other in their lives whether he was there or not. Which, he reminded himself, was a good thing. And he had procrastinated long enough. Time to tackle the hard part:

"Well, if Sam has shown you around the grounds, how about we finish the tour?"

"I'd like to." Teddy said putting down his glass

"If you don't mind, I think I'm going to go get ready instead. What time do we leave?" Sam asked

"Not until six thirty."

"OK, I'll be ready by then," she said and stood up. "Ermm, if you are going down to the boat, Mac was there earlier," she added casually.

"He was supposed to have The Grace ready in case we wanted to take her out."

Christian had barely spoken the words when he realized something was…off.

"Is there something I should know?"

"We went by to say hello," Sam started but was interrupted by Teddy who admitted: "Mr McConell recognized me from…before."

That is what happens when he was not in charge, not in control! His frustration must have been obvious as Sam rushed to defend Mac: "Poor Mac was so surprised he lapsed into Gaelic."

Control. He needed to regain control. Over himself. He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, fingers entwined: "This is my fault. Mac has been with me for a long time and I should have warned him. I'm sorry if he has made you uncomfortable," he apologized to Teddy.

Teddy refrained from looking at Samantha. She had warned him this was going to be Christian's reaction.

"It's OK," Teddy said. "I suppose it was bound to happen. Sam and I have talked about it a little."

The part of Christian's brain that had registered what Samantha had said about her and Teddy's conversation reminded him: '_Books, careers, you, music, films, the Greys and a little bit about you_'. She had tried to warn him…He turned his head to look up at her and raised a questioning eyebrow.

Sam only giggled and bent to place a kiss on his cheek: "Nothing bad, I promise. But this is my queue to go if I need to be ready by 6.30," she told him then turned to Teddy: "See you later?" And then she went into the house and he and Teddy were left facing each other.

Christian straightened up and leaned back into the deck chair: "If you're sure you don't want to talk about it, I suppose the house tour is next."

Possibly due to Samantha's influence and possibly because Christian had made such a big meal of showing him the house, Eddy couldn't resist teasing. With an assessing look at the house behind him he quipped: "Will we have enough time?"

That was 2-0 to the children and Christian was not used to being at the lower end of the score: "Depends. How quickly can you walk?" Then he sighed: "Let's take these to the kitchen first."

As he and Teddy were depositing empty glasses in the dishwasher he explained: "We already have very little privacy, I prefer not to have any staff around the house when I'm here."

He straightened up to face Teddy: "Part of the trade-offs I mentioned earlier is that the house is under constant surveillance. Upstairs, when one of us uses the pads to enter a room the cameras switch off, but otherwise there is constant CCTV monitoring throughout the house and you might have noticed the security outside."

Reflexively Eddy's eyes darted around to looking for the cameras.

"They are mostly by the lamps. I can point them out for you if you want, but it's easier to just ignore them."

Not quite sure about that last part, Eddy however nodded.

First came the vast two-story family room of which he had had a glimpse from the foyer: a massive fireplace placed between large bay windows at the far end with a couch and armchairs facing the fireplace, then a second seating group in the right corner facing a large TV screen and on the left side a pool table and vaguely familiar abstract art on the walls.

Behind the staircase a door led to the lower floor.

"This is the gym," Christian said as they made their way down the steps and stopped in front of an electronic display. "Sauna to the right, gym to the left and showers and changing cubicles after that. There is a lap pool behind this wall. You can change the temperature in any of the open spaces from here as well as the water temperature. Takes thirty minutes for one degree though."

Indeed the electronic display had a schematic of the lower floor with statistics for temperature and humidity. Pool water was set at 82…

"There is something I'd like to show you," Christian continued and turned left towards the gym area. At the far end there was a mat surrounded by net walls and what looked like a dummy in the middle. "This is more or less still experimental but it's a taekwondo training mat. You can set some options from here," he said pointing at a control panel: "The dummy height can be seamlessly adjusted from 5'5 to 6'5. It will defend only, but it has 11 pre-programmed routines each with a slow, medium or fast setting. They are working on more routines, possibly including some offensive moves by this time next year."

Eddy took a good look at the dummy and then a quicker one at the control panel.

"That sounds impressive, I didn't know anybody was even working on something like this."

He turned his head to look at Christian and the man was just standing there, facial expression set to neutral, as if he had not just told him he had installed in his home basement something that was not even for sale yet. Which hammered the point home for Eddy and left him a little light headed: Christian had not just ordered some stuff of a catalog, he had looked for and had this whole thing purpose built just for him.

"It's a prototype," Christian was saying. "I was hopping you'd get to use it this afternoon. As it is, perhaps there will be some time tomorrow morning."

"This is…" Eddy shook his head. "Thank you. I would certainly like to try it out."

Christian's faced relaxed and then the gray eyes turned into liquid silver: "Do you want to see it in action?"

All Eddy could do was nod as Christian stepped aside to allow him access to the panel: "It's pretty self-explanatory."

Hoping his face said what he had no words to express, Eddy stretched a hand and quickly figured out the quite simple instructions: choose a routine then choose speed, press to confirm. He chose #4 slow and watched as the dummy slowly rotated and lifted a 'hand' that was in fact a large kick pad, then continued alternating between right and left arm in a random pattern, stopping the pads at various heights. He chose a different program and set it to a faster speed. In his mind he could see himself punching and kicking…he increased the speed and burst out laughing, more out of pure joy than at the dummy's antics. He chose yet another program, this time almost at the end of the scale and the dummy started to twist and turn and bend, obviously 'avoiding' kicks rather than simply presenting a target. The stop button was square and red rather than round and black and he pressed it before he could change his mind.

"This is incredible!"

"You like it then?"

"Not like, this is fantastic! I can't really find the words to say how much it means to me that you have gone to all this trouble."

"It is the least I could do. I really hope you'll have time to try it out."

And Eddy finally found a suitable reply: "Me too. I'd hate to have to wait until next time."

Their eyes met for the briefest moment and Christian smiled his understanding: Teddy was planning on a next time. Then he remembered they were not done.

"There are more rooms to see."

Back upstairs, Christian went around the staircase to the room that was facing the library. There was a handle on the door, Eddy noted: not a private area then.

The door opened to reveal a large room, with walls just off white contrasting with the dark wood floor and the far wall almost entirely occupied by glass doors leading to the winter garden he had seen from outside. Three guitars placed on individual stands occupied the far left corner of the room and the rest of the space on that side was taken by an L-shaped sofa. As soon as he took one step in to the room Eddy's eyes fell on the grand piano: placed at even distance between the right wall and the couch, it was obvious that the room had been purposefully designed to accommodate the large instrument.

Christian was standing silently waiting for Teddy's reaction. As much as he had counted on the fact that Teddy was a bright young man and would have expected a large house and expensive…accessories, this was quite a step up from just expensive: the piano was a specially ordered Steinway Grand in macassar ebony wood.

"We don't have time tonight for a gym session, but we do have a few minutes to play the piano" he said, his face set to neutral in an effort to contain his trepidation.

Teddy walked further into the room and as he reached the piano he stretched out a hand to caress the keys, then froze before he could touch them.

"I won't tell you it's just a piano, but it is a piano Eddy. Please try it, if you want to."

Slowly, reverently, Eddy let his fingers glide over the keys then sat down and gently pressed them, his confidence growing despite the frown between his eyes as the first few notes of Claire de Lune filled the air. By the end of the four minutes long piece he was no longer frowning but his face was still tense with concentration. And then the room was once again quiet and he looked up.

Christian had remained standing leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest, fighting to control his feelings of guilt: as many times as he had justified his choice of staying out of his son's life, it was undeniable that Teddy had not enjoyed some of the privileges he could have offered him.

"Wow, I never thought I'd see one this close up. I wish I could do it justice."

"That was quite well played," Christian encouraged him, but Eddy shook his head: "Thank you but…Would you play something?"

Christian couldn't hear anything but sincerity in Eddy's voice, and left his station by the door as Eddy stood up from the piano.

"Anything in particular?" he asked as he sat on the pall while Eddy made his way to the couch.

Eddy just shook his head again and suddenly Christian was left with hundreds of pieces to choose from, the names and melodies racing through his mind…Chanson sans paroles – Song without words.

The notes of Tchaikovsky's piece floated from under Christian's fingers and Eddy was immediately enthralled. He had heard the piece often enough and had tried his hand at it a few times himself, but rarely had the player managed to keep his touch as light and fluid as Christian was doing right now. He had to concede that the choice was perfect: the lilt of the melody and the repetitive motive made it sound easy, but the player had to find the exact balance between a clean strike on the keys and maintaining a gentle touch. He had seen Christian be attentive, considerate, passionate and right now all the energy was leashed, controlled, resulting in precise but gentle movements…

"I hope one day I'll play this well," Eddy admitted when Christian's hands stilled.

"I'm sure you will," Christian said with a troubled look in his eyes. "Shall we finish the tour?"

Without even looking towards the winter garden, Christian took the lead out of the room and then back into the corridor behind the stairs and stopped in front of a door on the right side.

"This is my office," he announced and indicated the palm pad with a tilt of his head. His slight hesitation might have gone unnoticed had Eddy not been put on high alert by Christian's obvious change in mood. There had been a bond, a kinship in the gym and in the music room, but now the words felt more like a challenge and Christian's straight posture and stiff gestures reinforced that feeling.

"After you," Christian added not giving any indication that he was going to activate the pad himself. The symbolism was not lost on Eddy: Christian was making sure he knew he had access to this private space. He raised his hand and placed it on the device. A soft click was the only hint that the gesture had had any effect, but Christian stretched an arm and pushed the door open.

The half-closed curtains obscured most of the view outside the tall narrow windows on the far wall, forcing the attention to the dark gray, almost black, desk. The contrast with the light gray wall to wall carpet made the desk look as if it were floating above the floor. A closed laptop, a telephone and a square area with various buttons were the only objects marring the otherwise ruthlessly empty surface. The first impression was of a spacious but impersonal office, as if the owner had not yet moved in to fill it with everyday clutter and imprint his or her personality on it. Two potted plants close to the windows made the space look a little less sterile but the left wall, almost entirely covered by an LCD monitor, restored the impression of …harshness. Eddy turned his head to the right and found what he had been looking for: evidence of the person occupying this space. Very few books were gracing the shelves of the book case which was instead filled with trophies, framed diplomas or awards, and pictures.

"May I?" he asked

Christian nodded his permission and Eddy walked to stand in front of the shelves.

"My mother and father," Christian explained, obviously talking about the large picture of an elderly couple. "My father passed away five years ago. The family to the right is that of Mia, my sister, her husband and their three children. There are a few pictures of Ava, Elliot's daughter. You will probably recognize everybody else."

The signed graduation picture he had given Christian was to the left of his parent's picture, and next to it was Samantha in a graduation gown, but on the other side of that was another picture of himself: his high school graduation. Eddy's eyes darted over the mix of larger and smaller pictures: among pictures of mostly Samantha but also the other Greys was a picture of him playing the piano, him in taekwondo gear lifting a trophy, several of him and Nick and Emma at various ages and even two pictures including their mother.

Seeing his family in this room was…odd, unexpected. _"He comes to Rock Hill, or used to come, several times a year… I think he was there the first time you played the piano at the school end of year show."_

Again Eddy's eyes roamed over the pictures trying to single out the ones of himself, figure out a pattern. Occasionally interrupted by images of other people, the story the pictures told was that of him and Samantha growing up, achieving mile stones, happy memories and solemn occasions, all mixed together, haphazard, with no distinction or separate corners. The business man at his graduation, the master of all he surveyed on the ship and the gentle piano player, the ruthlessly bare room with square angles and then this book case with the family pictures…

Eddy slowly turned his head to find Christian leaning against the desk, his casual posture bellied by the seriousness of his expression and the troubled look in his eyes.

"Eddy…"

"Teddy," he interrupted causing the muscles on his father's face to harden. "I know this is how you think of me," he offered and once again was given a chance to take the measure of the man in front of him: for the briefest of moments Christian's face relaxed and lit up then was brought back under control.

"Yes," the word resonated, direct, uncompromising, leaving no room for doubt or discussion. "But what matters is how you think of yourself."

Once again caught between two worlds, tethering on the verge of a precipice, Teddy broke eye contact and turned back to the pictures.

"I didn't know you were there," he said looking at his high school graduation picture.

"I didn't always know or I couldn't always be there, but I tried to be, whenever I could."

"For whom?" he voiced his deepest insecurity and left the pictures to themselves to scan the face of his companion for answers, for reassurance.

Christian frowned trying to make sense of the question, Teddy's worried face providing more clues than the words: "You are not two people, Eddy."

Gratefulness flooded him and restored his balance and Eddy finally conceded: "Theodore Raymond Grey…Tomorrow, how will you introduce me?"

"It's up to you. Your choice, your decision."

"Teddy," he said, for the first time really trying the name out.

"I hope so, if you are sure."

Teddy sighed: "I don't know that I am sure, but there doesn't seem to be much point in denying it. That is how they think of me, isn't it?"

"They will respect your choice, but yes, they do."

"I don't think I am ready for all of it," Teddy admitted with an apologetic look, "but I think Teddy would be OK."

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in…Christian concentrated on his breathing while his body left the support of the hard edge of the table and straightened up of its own accord, inching him a little closer to Teddy. He sealed the pact with a nod and allowed the smile to form on his face and crinkle his eyes: "Teddy."

If only he could leave it here, put an arm around Teddy's shoulders, walk out of the room and perhaps use the time to try out the dummy in the gym…But there was a reason why he had set aside a significant chunk of time for this discussion and as soon as Teddy turned around…

"I now wish we could do this some other time," he admitted, "but on the way here you asked me something and I told you that perhaps we would find some time to talk."

The mood had once again shifted slightly and Teddy had to concentrate to remember what Christian meant. Rock Hill, the plane, his mother, the fireworks, the park…the memory slammed into him making him brace against the impact. He looked from Christian to the pictures and then back to Christian: "I asked you about my mother."

"About the flowers in the park, specifically, but yes, I assumed that that was what you were asking," Christian replied then started moving past the desk and to a couple of armchairs to the right of the door.

Following his movement, Eddy quickly took in that side of the room and the two black and white pictures framing the door.

As he stared at his mother's scowl and a more carefree laughter than he could ever remember having seen on her, it's not as much as time stood still, as it simply ceased to matter. How old was she when these were taken? Where did that laughter go? Not why the pictures were here, no. This was so far beyond 'I told you so' that the expression became meaningless. He had wanted to see a personal touch to the room…

Christian was sitting in one of the armchairs, looking at him and waiting.

"There doesn't seem to be much to talk about," Eddy pointed out the obvious.

"I think there is. Would you come and sit?"

"You know I never really wanted a divorce and I think you had already figured out most of the rest," Christian said once he was seated in the other armchair.

Despite Christian's invitation and opening bid, several seconds passed in silence, heavy with words they could not say, questions they could not ask, truths that were too painful to acknowledge.

Slowly, as if stretching after a long nap, time started moving again, ticking away. Two beats of the heart, one breath: three more seconds added to the eighteen years they had lost.

"Mom said you let her go, gave her a choice, one she couldn't take."

Carefully controlling his reaction, Christian nodded: "We both made decisions based on a twisted version of the facts, but the truth remains that Ana believed her only choice was to give in to my expectations and I was convinced that she was about to do just that. I could not be certain that I would be able to change my behaviour and it wasn't fair to expect her to keep fighting me, and so I let her go. I have on a few occasions done something to perhaps make things a little easier for her, but I know she has built a new life. I won't pursue her, if you are wondering."

Teddy had already figured out that last part and the rest was much the same as what Christian had told him during their first meeting. But that was before the pictures, when he had had this romantic notion of Christian resigned to watching from afar. The pictures hanging on the wall somehow changed all that. Even kept in this private space, locked behind a door with no handle on the outside, they were a statement, not a resignation...

Christian watched as Teddy processed his words. When he noticed his eyebrows knitting in concentration he encouraged him: "There is literally nothing you can't ask, Teddy."

"How long have you had them?" Eddy asked, surprised that the question had even been on his mind.

"Ana's pictures? Since before we got married. They were taken when she was in college by a friend of hers, a photographer."

"No, I mean how long…" Teddy hesitated, now sure that the question was relevant, important and again unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

"A little over ten years."

Perhaps this was not as bad as he had feared, but still: ten years of looking at those pictures day after day…While he was trying to imagine how that would feel, something else occurred to Teddy: "Does Samantha know? I mean, she must have seen them, does she know who is in them?"

"Yes, she does," Christian answered, surprised at the question. "Why…"

He kept forgetting how little Teddy knew and this was another discussion he had not had in many years.

"Sam knows, Teddy. She knows how important Ana is to me. But I know what you mean and it is a difficult subject. She did ask about the woman in the pictures and at some point I had to explain the absence of her own mother from our lives. Sam doesn't just live with me. Her mother was…unable to bond with her or care for her. She left when Sam was three months old and when we separated I was granted sole custody. I wouldn't have kept her from seeing Samantha, had she wished, but she never took that step."

While Christian paused to once again consider how to share the next part with Teddy, Teddy's thoughts went to the girl with whom he had spent the early part of the afternoon: smart and self-assured, funny, warm, putting him at ease, helping him to fit in and bond with their father…At least he had lived under the impression that his father hadn't even known him, or known about him…

"I had Grace, my mother, as a role model for a mother figure, but I was a boy. Other than literature I had few other sources of advice on how to raise a child, not to mention a girl." He took a deep breath and plunged ahead: "In the beginning, for the first few years, I had the memories of being your father and those of Ana being a mother. When Sam grew past the age where I could rely on those I did get some advice from my mother but as time passed Sam was not always happy with our decisions. By the time she was old enough to argue her point she was already aware of you and Ana. It was Sam who pointed out that Ana might have made a different choice had she had a say and I took that into consideration. Ana is the closest thing to a mother figure that Samantha has had in her life."

xXx

When Eddy went back to his room upstairs, his mind was reeling from all the new information. His view of himself, of Christian, of Samantha, of the strange ties between them had been altered so many times in the past few hours that he just needed a break, some time to process at least some of it. And now he had to get ready for dinner. And to face Samantha again. The balance of which one of them knew more about the other had shifted as well: after what Christian had told him of her mother he couldn't help the feeling that the little he know outweighed the simple enumeration of facts she had about him.

He flung himself on the bed, starring at the ceiling. Talk about falling through the looking glass…He needed to find a grip, something to hold onto, a reality check.

Eddy sat himself on the edge of the bed and picked up the phone he had discarded on the night table.

"Hey bro, what's up?" the familiar voice answered on the second ring.

**AN: Next chapter Eddy looses it and family meeting in Bellevue. When that will be up however is another matter. For now I need to pick up a few extra shifts at work which severely limits my writing time. On the plus side after the visit at Bellevue there will only be another couple of chapters before s*it hits the fan...**


	45. AN

Good morning ladies!

I am sorry that this is not a new chapter but there will be one this Saturday. I just wanted to say hello and let you know that in between new chapters I am doing a bit of editing and minor re-writes of the older chapters. It has been so long that even I had to go back and read some of the stuff (who said what to whom, who knows what…). For now revised chapters 1 and 2 are up and chapter 3 should be up later today. You will know which ones are re-done as there will be an empty chapter after the one most recently revised. I'll also mention any new revisions at the beginning of new chapters.

I would also like to take this opportunity to remind you that unfortunately I don't read guest reviews. I understand that people can't always log in but the reality of FF is that there are so many who cowardly hide under the cloak of anonymity to deliver low blows that it's just not worth the aggravation. It takes a little bit of discipline to not read them (especially since they are not moderated so they will appear on the site), but you can't miss what you don't know you have, so especially if you have a question, please log in or PM.

Yours,

Cathy


	46. Summer storm Ch44 Shockwave

**AN I know it has been forever so a short reminder of where we have left the story. It has only been six weeks since Eddy Parson has found out that everything he thought he knew about both his biological parents contains less truth than most legends do. Prior to his visit to Seattle he has only met Christian three times: one emotional conversation at an empty restaurant, the day on the boat and one meeting in Charlotte. He has come so long as to admit to himself that it was a nice feeling to know that he had a father who cared for him, but he is merely exploring the possibility that Christian might fit that role. Due to unforeseen circumstances, the previous day he had interacted more with Samantha than with Christian although they did have a conversation in Christian's office.**

Ch44 Shockwave

Eddy woke up from a troubled sleep while a few stars were still visible through the high window. As he reacquainted himself with his surroundings the memory of the previous evening gradually solidified: the dinner at the Needle with the view through the panoramic windows slowly changing as the restaurant spun on its axis and the city lights gradually blinked into existence.

…The level of attention bestowed on Christian!

Their table had been sectioned-off from the rest of the room with high partitions and their security detail had been seated at the adjoining tables. Christian had tried to shrug off the special arrangement explaining that_ 'The private rooms are on a lower level and don't have the rotating view'_.

The conversation had been flowing between the three of them: taekwondo versus kickboxing versus Samantha's choice of capoeira, classical music and then more modern choices, including Samantha's and his own preferences – which Christian had promptly described as 'white noise with a drum beat'-, Sam and Christian taking turns in pointing out various landmarks and the history behind them, then at one point Sam teasing Christian about tolerating verbal abuse from his COO leading to him sharing the story of how he had met Ros Bailey.* Although the GEH building was visible from their vantage point high above the city, it was not distinctive enough to stand out from the other high raise buildings in the business district.

A sombre Greg McKenzie had been waiting for them as they were getting into the elevator at the end of the evening to inform them that a few journalists were waiting downstairs hoping to hear from Christian about the hijacked cargo ship. _'Please remember to keep your head down and your eyes on the security man in front of you to avoid being blinded by the flashes,' _McKenzie had instructed him and Samantha. The advice had hardly been necessary. The SUV was parked only three or four steps from the elevator and despite a few flashes bouncing off the darkened windows they were able to return to the guarded property without further incident.

McKenzie and the rest addressing him as 'Mr Parson'…Christian's security had addressed him as such before and he had been mostly amused at the pompousness but last night the reminder had felt…intrusive.

Increasingly restless and with no idea when everybody else were going to get up, the temptation to go for a run and a few stretches and maybe try out that sci-fi contraption in the gym grew until it became irresistible. A few minutes later, dressed in a T-shirt, shorts and his sneakers, he made his way downstairs. The pounding of his feet on the treadmill providing a rhythm for his thoughts, he found himself once again going over everything that had transpired since his graduation.

The insistent buzzing of the alarm on the treadmill interrupted his recollection. He was surprised to notice his breathing was heavy and his heart was pumping much faster than it should have done after such a short time. Forcing his attention to the task at hand, he slowed down and eventually stepped off the machine to do some stretches.

Besides limbering up tense muscles, the routine was meant to enable him to free his mind of other worries and allow him to focus on the upcoming training session. Today however the images, the sentences, the occasional individual word or facial expression kept intruding and interfering with the slow, deliberate movements.

Feeling as restless as when he had first entered the gym and with his head full of disjointed pieces of information, he moved to the control panel outside the fenced mat. At a flick of the power lever the lights on the control panel lit up. The first few settings were just routine katas, #4 looked a little more challenging but after pressing #5 a grim smile stretched his tightly pressed lips and he stepped on the mat.

Carefully at first, testing the contraption, then more at ease, he was finally able to lose himself. Aim the punches, judge the distance for a kick, create momentum for the jumps, mind the landings…

Movement to his left caught his eye and his foot barely connected with its intended target.

"Good morning. I hope you don't mind company?"

Eddy turned his head to find Christian Grey, also dressed for a workout, standing just outside the fence.

"No, of course not," he answered mechanically. "Good morning," he added as an afterthought.

Immediately alerted that something was not right, Christian reigned in his anxiety and nodded towards the dummy: "I didn't mean to interrupt you."

Not sure why Christian's presence felt unwelcome, Teddy followed his gaze to the raising arm of the device and threw a side kick that missed the target by a couple of inches. Annoyed at himself, he half turned to meet the other raising arm with a cross kick. The clean hit restored his confidence and he resumed his training: kick, twist, high kick, step in close and deliver two round kicks before the arm could move out of reach.

"Did something happen?" Christian enquired from the side as Teddy landed in a wide stance.

His eyes glued to the dummy, Teddy only shook his head then resumed striking the targets as they were presented, delivering unforgiving punches and high, fast, powerful leg kicks in quick succession.

"But you are angry," Christian stated.

Satisfaction unfurled inside Teddy like a victory flag as he finally found the centre he had been looking for since entering the gym: anger. Red-hot, unmoving, weighing him down… He fought the weight to launch into a jump sidekick. Missed. Fuck!

Half-spin, right leg extending into a high kick and the satisfaction of his heel connecting with the target. Yes!

Landing in a wide stance, he half-turned to acknowledge Christian's presence: "Yes."

"Can you tell me why?"

It was easier to kick the dummy than to face Christian, so Teddy kept his attention on the moving object…which was no longer moving.

"The routines are timed, I don't remember the exact duration," Christian offered.

His glance darting from the dummy to Christian then back, Eddy walked to the control panel and studied it for a moment. #4, moderate: he needed to calm the fuck down. Back in position he got ready for a slightly less challenging routine while offering: "I couldn't sleep. I'm probably on East Coast time. I've been thinking."

'Less challenging' lost its appeal in the first twenty seconds, so he decided he could spice it up a bit: hit the target then hit the body before the next target was up.

His punch landed with a satisfying thump and so did the follow-up hook kick.

"Granddad," left foot connecting with the dummy's middle, "you," right punch, left punch, "mom", jump and twist, scissor kick, "Carla, Sam's mother,"

Jump back, kick, back hand.

"all of you made decisions,"

Back kick and spin sideways,

"made choices for us, "

Jumping back kick,

"about us, and we have to deal with them."

High jump, left foot swinging over the dummy's head and reverse kick. Land.

"Theodore Raymond Grey."

Correct your stance.

"I bear his name."

Half turn and spin to create momentum.

"He knew all along."

The heel of his hand connected with the dummy and made it swing.

"And so did mom, and you, and Kate. No one thought I might need to know."

Right foot sweeping upwards but the target was no longer there and Teddy landed heavily on his back.

"Teddy…"

A shake of his head warned Christian to keep his distance as he bounced back up.

"I've heard the stories."

Right foot forward, turning round kick.

"I've listened to the words."

Follow-up with a hook kick.

"There is something missing," he panted.

Twist in the middle of the jump, land sideways.

"You keep her pictures on the wall."

Step back. Keep moving.

"She doesn't have any of you."

360 jump and a crescent kick.

"She can't bear…"

Punch and twist

"…to cook…"

Sweeping low kick.

"…your favourite food."

Spin and step back.

"We have pictures of Jane."

540 jump and double kick.

"In dad's drawer, not on the wall."

Elbow. Step back.

"But they are not a secret."

Why is this thing moving so slowly?

"Mom's living – barely - breathing, next to him."

Shoulder in, follow through on the kick.

"He never made her smile like that."

Two feet jump, heel to the chest: move!

"You gave up on each other and I got caught in the middle."

His breathing coming in heavy gasps he spun to find himself face to face with Christian.

Angry blue eyes pitted against eyes the colour of storm clouds, Teddy accused: "She took me away and you let her."

"I never agreed to that."

Everything from Christian's thrown back shoulders to his determined tone made it abundantly clear the subject was not open for debate.

"She took me away and you didn't claim me back," Teddy refused to back down.

"You had a life. A happy, carefree life," Christian defended, unyielding resolve making his jaws clench and his gaze harden.

"I had a right to know! I should have had a choice!"

"You were five years old, you couldn't make a choice! So yes, I made the choice for you: you were better off not knowing about me," Christian delivered the verdict, his decision set in stone.

"But I am here now!"

"Yes, you are. And I am thrilled, happy, beyond grateful that you are."

"I don't know what to call you!"

A heartbeat, two, three…The hurt in Teddy's eyes and Christian's mind roaring 'Father. I am your father.'

"We had agreed on Christian," Christian said out loud, forcing everything but the immediate needs of his son out of his mind.

"Christian," Teddy mechanically repeated. It was a question rather than an affirmation, a poor substitute for the word that should have defined their relationship. "It doesn't make sense," he pleaded. "The more I learn about things, the less they fit together. You and mom and granddad," he enumerated, his voice hoarse from the effort it took to articulate his thoughts: "Mom thought you didn't want to talk to her but admits that she was wrong. You thought she didn't want to talk to you, which was also wrong. Granddad engineered a divorce and arranged a kidnapping and mom says it's because he had a 'distorted version of the truth', so what he knew was also wrong."

He stopped to take a breath and the question finally poured out of him with the exhaled air: "How could all three of you be so wrong?"

The question hit Christian like a punch to the gut, winding him. Fighting the adrenaline and the urge to gasp for air, Christian steeled himself and carefully explained: "Trust. We all, at some point, lost trust in ourselves and in each other," then made a decision: "Let's go upstairs. I'll start at the beginning."

xXx

Fifteen minutes later Christian descended the stairs to find Greg McKenzie waiting for him in the foyer.

"Is there a security problem I need to be aware of?"

"No, sir, but_"

He raised his hand to stop McKenzie: "Anything else can wait."

Despite his words, Christian allowed his Head of Security two seconds to make up his mind whether whatever had brought him to the house was worth confronting him.

"Sir," McKenzie replied and stepped back, acknowledging his employer's revised order of priorities.

"I'll let you know when I'm available for a briefing," Christian conceded.

Between coming to terms with the offhand comments Teddy had made about Ana and his need to find a way to help Teddy understand what had happened to the three of them, it had already taken him longer than intended to calm down and decide on his next course of action. Passing through the kitchen he stopped to grab the pitcher of freshly pressed orange juice from the refrigerator and scan the list Martha had left for the breakfast options. The conversation they were about to have was too serious to be had over a meal, but Teddy had had a strenuous workout on an empty stomach. When he finally emerged on the terrace he was holding a tray with a pitcher of orange juice, glasses and a plate with freshly baked croissants.

"I have brought some food and something to drink," he informed Teddy who had also changed and was now sitting on the edge of the couch.

Teddy eyed the tray, suspicious of Christian's motives. Despite the enticing smell as he had passed through the kitchen, breakfast had been the furthest thing from his mind and this didn't seem like a moment for social interaction.

"You can have something to eat while I talk," Christian reassured him that he was not putting off his explanation.

With the French delicacies now in front of him, Teddy had to admit that he was hungry. Fleetingly wondering why it seemed Christian was constantly feeding him, he gave in and picked one of the freshly baked offerings.

As soon as Teddy took his first bite of food Christian enquired: "How much do you know about the beginning of my relationship with Ana?"

"Not much," Teddy admitted. "I know she interviewed you for the student newspaper and you got married three month later."

With a nod, Christian acknowledged the succinct answer.

"GEH is now - has been for some time - where I want it to be. Back then however, I had just started to make enough money to really play. I was working close to eighty hours a week and had very little time or patience for anything that would distract me from my goal."

As Christian proceeded to describe the young self-made billionaire, entirely focused on building his empire, needing to prove himself in a business world he was taking by storm, Teddy learned how even his relationships with women were conducted as a business transaction, starting with an NDA and complete with a contract stipulating the times they would spend together and what they could and could not expect from each other. '_Something private…nothing illegal…reputations have been ruined for less_,' his mother's words found an explanation: contracts with women would certainly fit into that category.

Then Christian's voice softened: "Ana was my polar opposite. She had lived a quiet life in Montesano and spent most of her time in college reading and studying. Her own social circle was restricted to only a handful of people_"

The image of his mother as a reserved young woman dragged away from her books and purposefully ordinary life to conduct an interview had barely started to take shape when Christian abruptly stopped and seemed to change his mind about what he was going to say.

"The day of the interview she stumbled as she entered my office and literally fell at my feet. I helped her up and from the moment I looked at her everything in my world felt artificial and lacking. She was smart without the arrogance, beautiful despite the baggy clothes, utterly unimpressed with my power or my achievements but appreciative of the art on the wall in my office. Without meaning to, she challenged everything I stood for. I offered her a job at GEH there and then and she declined stating that she wouldn't fit in. I was used to people fighting to fit in with me while she would rather keep her distance than compromise on who she was."

At some point they left their seats on the terrace. While walking on the path running around the house and bordering the property, Christian continued: "One interview, a shared coffee and a kiss stolen in an elevator later, we found ourselves facing each other in my home office: me with my contracts and she with her romantic views, once again at opposing ends of the spectrum, and neither of us with any experience of a relationship."

When he heard his mother had left Christian because he had behaved 'like an idiot', Teddy sent a retrospective mental cheer to the young woman who wouldn't bow to the billionaire's whim and almost missed the moment when Christian capitulated and offered her a relationship on, mostly, her terms.

"I asked Ana to marry me three days later. We announced our engagement the following Saturday and were married within six weeks."

Teddy came to an abrupt stand still and as Christian half-turned to wait up he was met by a stunned expression.

"I know it was fast, but I was a man on a mission, Teddy," he responded to the look on his son's face. "I knew she was **it** for me and I was not exaggerating when I said I was used to getting what I wanted."

Teddy shook his head to clear it: "I suppose I never did the maths on this but you had known each other for…a month or so?"

"Five weeks and two days. Long enough to be aware of the challenges we were going to face, but, indeed, our ability to resolve our differences remained largely a matter of faith."

'_I never understood just what made him choose me. I was always afraid I was not going to be enough for him, that I was not going to be what he needed from a partner…' _his mother's words echoed. The explanation he had not quite understood became more meaningful.

A sharp nod of Christian's head towards the path they had been walking interrupted his train of thought and they resumed their brisk pace as Christian continued:

"Ana was thrown at the deep end almost immediately after the wedding. The press and social circles were relentlessly pursuing her and she was now the owner of the company where she had interned for less than two months. She was also pregnant and we were both still learning how to navigate a relationship. She was new to almost everything and I had a lot to say about how we conducted our life which didn't always sit well with her. Sometimes we would find a compromise; occasionally she would go against my wishes, but often enough she would relent and follow my lead.

"When you were born she stopped working for a year and even our social engagements were curtailed. She was more at ease with our lifestyle and with most of the reasons for disagreements now moot, our life was as close to perfect as it could be. Once she returned to work things changed. You already know that I was adopted."

Spellbound by even this small amount of insight in his mother's previous life, all his attention consumed by trying to read in between the lines of Christian's tale, Teddy simply nodded.

"My biological mother was a drug addict. To describe her as neglectful is putting it mildly. Rationally I knew you were not neglected just because your mother was working, but emotionally it was a different story. I made no mystery of the fact that I expected Ana to prioritize what I perceived as the needs of our family. She fought me often and put me straight more than once, but, knowing why I needed that kind of reassurance, she frequently did at least try to find a compromise. Between that, our respective jobs and our social commitments it was a stressful year for both of us. In the middle of all of that I started talking about having another child. I knew Ana wanted a large family. The week she had planned to spend in Montesano was meant to give her time to seriously consider having another baby. "

They had arrived at the bottom of the property where the path ended at the pier. Christian took a few steps along the wooden structure then abruptly stopped and sat down, his body facing the lake but his head turned in an open invitation for Teddy to join him. When Teddy chose a spot about a foot from him he turned his gaze onto the open space before he resumed:

"A few days before I was due to leave for Japan someone approached me about a friend of theirs who was in a bad relationship and needed to get away from the man in question. The man was a prominent business man and a close acquaintance. She was not aware I also knew the woman. Had Marlene wanted to press charges it would have been different, but as it were I agreed to help her get out of town and ensure the man will step back from his business and social circles under some other pretext. Quite a few people, many of them close to us, would have been affected by learning the truth, and I needed to take that into consideration and be certain of the facts before letting Ana in on any of it.

"The only way to accomplish that was to speak with Marlene and get the details and any evidence that I could gather about what had happened to her. Discretion however was key and I asked the men I had hired to get her away to bring her to our town apartment in town. I met with her there the day before my business trip. I arrived in the early afternoon, angry at the man, angry that I had to get involved and angry that I had to keep that kind of secret from Ana. What Ana saw was a CCTV recording of the beginning of that meeting: me, angry and stern, stepping out of the elevator and walking towards an obviously cowered woman, addressing her and causing her to walk away, looking contrite and perhaps scared. I didn't want Marlene in the apartment and I didn't want our security detail to get wind of the situation before I had all the facts and so I asked her to remain in one of the guest bedrooms. Her attitude alone was a strong indication that the story was probably true and so I took a moment to change into casual clothes and consider a few option before I joined her. I was there for about an hour then worked for a while in my office ensuring I had all the evidence I needed before leaving the apartment. By an unfortunate set of circumstances Ana not only saw the CCTV tape the following day but found Marlene still sleeping in the guest bedroom."

Christian turned his head to again look at Teddy: "I don't want you to be left with the wrong impression. At least in my memory the time Ana and I had together was at times challenging but it was also full of happy moments. Perhaps I will have the opportunity to share some of those memories as well, but your question today was about how we could all be so wrong."

When Teddy finally nodded, Christian resumed in a much more detached tone: "It was a combination of factors, the most relevant being the state of mind we were in when we parted that Monday. I believe the real reason Ana needed time away from Seattle was to decide whether she was going to be a stay at home mom or keep fighting me over it. To see her torn between two equally unattractive choices and know that I was responsible for that, made me consider whether I was truly unable to find a compromise on this issue or just unwilling to do so. I started questioning my behaviour and my motivations and whether I was or could ever be the kind of husband I had promised Ana I would be.

"You already know most of the rest. Ray had been worried and perhaps a little suspicious over the breakneck pace of my and Ana's relationship and the disparity between our financial and social backgrounds. He was aware of some of our difficulties, of some of the concessions Ana had made to fit into my life. He was also aware of how I used to conduct my relationships prior to meeting Ana and he had seen the CCTV recording from the apartment. I don't know when or how he found out about the contracts and what explanation he has been given for them - or for the tape- but I do know he had become convinced that was how I behaved with his daughter.

"Ana was not aware that I tried to contact her. My apparent silence would have just reinforced any doubts that the tape and finding Marlene at the apartment had put in her mind and I can't even begin to think what it did to her when it appeared that not only me but my whole family were shutting her out, shutting both of you out. The whole situation played on all her insecurities and it wouldn't have taken much for Ray to persuade her that I no longer wanted either of you in my life."

Christian's words barely registered in Teddy's awareness. '_It was Kate. She knew the whole story,…she gave dad a distorted version of the truth_', '_Katherine and I have never been close… she knew and could have prevented much of what happened… it would have ended his marriage… it was too late…I never confronted her'. _He had assumed Christian was aware and the thought that he had chosen his brother's happiness rather than a chance to reconnect with him had gnawed at him. But if he only knew part of the truth, would it have changed anything?

Watching from the side and with Christian's eyes hidden from him, Teddy could see his jaw muscles tensing and the creases forming at the corner of his eyes, yet after only a brief pause he continued although his voice was a little raspy: "For my part, while waiting for Ana to contact me or reply to my attempts to contact her I became entirely focused on everything that had gone wrong between us. It is to this day the only explanation I have for allowing myself to be played the way I was. When Ray arrived with the divorce papers…I knew Ana was angry and hurt, but now it seemed she was afraid. The thought of her being afraid of me, the mere possibility, was more than I could bear and so I signed the papers and let her go. I just never imagined it would be permanent or that I would also lose you."

Christian's chest was by now raising and falling obviously struggling to supply his body with air and several minutes passed in silence. As Christian gradually regained control over himself he took one final deep breath and allowed his shoulders to slump a little before he turned towards Teddy, but the young man was obviously still lost in his own thoughts. As it does every time he looks at Teddy or thinks of him, his heart clenched into that tight painful knot in his chest. For both their sakes he once again pushed the feeling down and fought his way out of a pit of regrets to focus on this chance they had to reconnect.

"Teddy," he called out, his voice gentle enough to not startle the young man but carrying enough determination to hopefully drag his son back to the here and now. Whatever he was going to say died in his throat as a concerned expression and troubled blue eyes met his.

"You and mom, you have still not talked to each other, not about all of this."

The hesitation in Teddy's voice made Christian wonder what was the real question, but with no other hint to go on he simply stated the truth: "We have agreed on September, after you leave for Boston."

"Can I ask you why?"

"You can, if you call me Christian."

Teddy stared at his father: he didn't look like he was joking, he didn't even have that challenging glint in his eyes. He looked dead serious, as if he meant business, and now the man was leaning his head expecting an answer…

"Christian," he replied, making the gray eyes sparkle if only for just a moment. "Why do I feel like I have just turned your pawn into a queen?"

"I think we need the practice," Christian informed him as if it was the most obvious explanation in the world, then the brief moment of satisfaction passed to be replaced by a guarded expression: "I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am that I haven't been part of your life until now. But I do hope there will be a place for our relationship in your future. Not instead, but in addition to the one you have with Dan."

The eyes searching his face were hooded, guarded, and it dawned on Teddy that for once it was Christian who was looking for some kind of reassurance from him.

"I hope so too."

A look passed between them, then Christian acknowledged the distance they still had to bridge with a nod.

"To answer your question: we have agreed to give you the time and space to figure out how you feel about all of this, how you want to move forward. We are both aware that the conversation needs to happen, but that is our problem to handle and it can wait a few more weeks."

"But that means she still doesn't know_" Realizing just what he was going to say, Teddy stopped in the middle of his sentence as heat rose from underneath his collar and spread up his neck.

Regret flickered over Christian's features so quickly Teddy wondered if he had imagined it, then the gray eyes cleared until only the competent and self-assured father figure remained.

"That I was not having an affair? No she doesn't. This is not about me and Ana, Teddy. This is about you."

The repeated reassurance that the choice was up to him finally reminded Teddy of the advice he had received from his former roommate: : '_it is what it is man, you can't beat yourself up over what everybody else is thinking. Look at it this way: they've all made their choices so do what you want to do and leave them to sort out their own problems._'

_It was the day after his martial arts demonstration in Charlotte. The previous day, on his way from the changing rooms to the top of the auditorium where Christian was waiting for him, he had been surprised to see Thomas waving him over. On a whim he had introduced his roommate to Christian almost causing one of the bodyguards to suffer the wrath of his employer when he had stepped forward to try and prevent the two of them from approaching Christian. The risk had been worth it just to see the look on Thomas face when he had realized just who they were meeting…_

"Thomas said the same thing," he admitted, the ghost of a smile forming on his face at the memory of his shocked and for once stammering friend.

Christian raised a questioning eyebrow but his eyes were also shining with contained mirth when he pointed out: "I don't recall Mr Will as being very eloquent."

Suddenly unsure and a little embarrassed at his rash behaviour, Teddy cleared his throat: "I'm sorry about that. It was a spur of the moment decision and I know I can trust Thomas to keep a confidence."

Back to serious, Christian ensured he had Teddy's attention to clarify: "The discretion is for your protection more than anything else. I'm afraid all this," he vaguely gestured at the expanse of land around them, "is not just for show."

"I know, McKenzie explained. I hope I didn't get anybody in trouble."

"Well, I did get a stern talking to about overriding security protocols," Christian admitted again with a humorous glint in his eyes, then decided to put Teddy out of his misery and resumed a more serious expression: "Would you care to share what Mr Will had to say?"

Not quite sure if Christian had been literal about getting in trouble with his head of security or was just messing with him, Teddy shook his head to clear it and get back on topic. Frowning a little in concentration he explained:

"Thomas has a complicated life. His mother is on her third husband. Both she and the current husband are competing socially and professionally with her first spouse and his current wife. His father is husband #2. He is remarried and has two other children. They are in touch but he is only…visiting, not really living there. His mom has a daughter with the new husband. She is ten years younger than Thomas. He gets along with his step father but both him and his mom are busy people and Emily needs more…attention than he does so he is a little caught between all of them. He said I should make my own choices."

Christian knew all of that already, but was listening with rapt attention to how Teddy perceived the situation and the mention of Thomas feeling caught between the adults in his life rang alarm bells he couldn't ignore. Even as he nodded at the validity of Thomas' advice he knew he had to clarify this point with his own son.

"We've already discussed why I believed it was better if I didn't contact you once you were in Rock Hill and I think you are starting to get an idea why I considered it to be a valid choice. I have however so far refrained from discussing why I didn't try to contact you while you were in Montesano."

The suddenly closed-off expression on Teddy's face convinced him it was time to address this point. Reminding himself that Teddy was his son, not his confidante, he spoke slowly enough to be able to choose his words and allow Teddy the opportunity to stop him if it was too much.

"At first it was supposed to be just a matter of a few days. As long as I had hope that we would soon be reunited as a family, I trusted Ana to ensure that you remained unaware of the difficulties between us and I thought it would be more confusing and upsetting for you to be handed over from one parent to the other than to stay with just your mother for a short time. When I received the divorce papers I believed Ana was afraid of me and didn't want you to pick up on that kind of feeling, on that kind of vibe between us. To my eternal regret, I have agreed to wait until the temporary order went through before I could see you."

Echoing Christian's words from earlier in the morning, Teddy pointed out: "I was two years old."

"I never wanted you to experience that," Christian started calmly enough but as he continued his demeanour once again changed to one of harsh determination. "Not even for a moment, not even if you wouldn't be able to consciously remember it." By the end of that sentence Christian's whole body was practically humming with tension and his eyes blazed with such feral intensity, Teddy involuntarily leaned back.

Like a switch had been thrown, the blaze died in Christian's eyes but his coiled muscles testified Teddy had not imagined the moment of rage.

"I'm sorry," Christian immediately apologized, the words a little raspy from being forced through his tight throat as his hand automatically moved up to comb through his hair in the gesture familiar to them both.

More than the familiarity of the involuntary move it was the slight trembling of Christian's hand that caught Teddy's attention. The wave of adrenaline that had caused his body to move in defence and sent his heart hammering a rapid drum roll started to recede, yet he had to swallow past the lump in his throat before he could form any words.

"It's OK," was all he had.

"No, it's not. You should never…I hope you know that it was not directed at you."

"I do," Teddy rushed to respond to the troubled look on Christian's face. "I…uh, seen that look before. On the boat and at my graduation. You had just sat down and were looking at something at the back of the hall. I remember wondering what had made you that angry."

It was Christian's turn to be confused. He was pretty certain he had not been angry that day…

"I wasn't angry," he reluctantly admitted.

They were both still slightly breathless from whatever chemicals had taken over their bodies and with less experience in controlling his own emotions Teddy could not stop his doubt from showing on his face. Christian however had recuperated a little better and cautioned: "I won't mind explaining but perhaps we could do that some other time."

Nothing in the appearance of the young man indicated that he was willing to allow that concession and Christian warned: "Teddy…"

The words rushing out before he could stop them Teddy interrupted: "I'd like to know."

Far from convinced it was the right thing to do but under pressure to maintain the openness between them, Christian succinctly informed him: "I was trying to refrain from looking at your mother."

Suddenly transported back to his graduation ceremony and the full auditorium, Teddy realized he had no idea where his family had been sitting. Then Christian's words registered: not looking _for_ her but _at_ her.

"You knew where they were seated?"

"Yes," Christian replied still holding his gaze.

Feeling a little defensive Teddy probed with just a hint of accusation in his voice: "You have seen our family before."

"Yes, I did," Christian admitted and would have stopped there had it not been for the frown growing on Teddy's face. "She would have known I was looking at her."

Almost underwhelmed by that statement and a little hurt although not really knowing why, Teddy wondered what he was missing. He let the scene replay in his head until he could literally see Christian's body stiffen and his jaw clench while his eyes turned to a steely glare. Almost overwhelmed by the brief glimpse into the monumental effort it had taken Christian to refrain from making contact he protested: "But you looked at me!"

"Yes, I did," Christian again admitted and kept his voice even to add: "You didn't know who I was."

With Teddy already deep in memories of that day, Christian's succinct statement brought to life the reality of their non-existing past. Over images of his childhood blazing through his memory, the knowledge that Christian had been there watching from the shadows, meddling when he felt necessary to do so and otherwise contending himself with taking pictures, mementos of a life he wasn't able to share, took on a whole new dimension: the accused, found guilty of inaction, had been sentenced to continue to watch from afar and now he had an idea of the will power it had taken to stay away. Instead of staring at Christian his eyes took in the eerily familiar traits. Whatever they were to each other, they were no longer strangers.

"But I am here now," he simply repeated his words from earlier, this time without the accusation.

"Yes, you are," Christian also repeated.

Teddy had avoided looking at the boat looming at the end of the pier, but now his eyes were irresistibly drawn to the blue and white vessel and the deck where his mind could still picture the weather-worn face of the old man. That stranger's joy at recognizing him was still a little unsettling but no longer frightening. He wanted this. He wanted, needed, to explore this relationship. He took a deep breath and pushed the tension out of his body with the exhaled air.

As Teddy's body visibly relaxed, Christian once again offered: "Is there anything else I can answer?"

If he were to be honest, Teddy had to admit that most of everything was still pretty much up in the air but for now his head was full, his stomach was empty and Christian had played him a couple of times already so it was time to even the field a little.

"I will probably have more questions at some point," he honestly admitted, "but for now…" he shook the doubts and the lingering uncertainty away and his eyes full of hope he asked: "Are there any croissants left?"

**AN Next chapter...let's say I am not done with turning Teddy's world upside down. Until then a little bonus insert for those interested in such trivia, the story of how Christian met Ros Bailey**

_"My second acquisition was a store selling desktop and laptop computers. It was a side venture of a bigger company and it had not delivered what they had expected, so I could have it for a reasonable price. I was planning on adding the store to the two I already owned and I advised the business manager that her services will no longer be required. Ros simply nodded and shook my hand, but left her business plan for the store with me. Except for the planned merger with my other two shops her vision was uncannily similar to mine. I called her and asked her to meet me for lunch. It turned out that her appointment as business manager had been the result of her being a young graduate, female, black and homosexual: a purely PR gesture from the previous owners who had entirely failed to recognize her intelligence and keen business sense. So I offered her a deal: she would work for me for free for one year and then for half her normal salary for another year. In exchange I would take her views into consideration and starting from the third year she would get 1% of any profit we made. She was going to let me know the following day. As the business part of the meal was concluded, she proposed we could have a beer, which is all either of us could afford. When she realized I was still a couple of weeks from turning 21 she just stared at me and asked for the 'goddamn contract'."_


	47. Summer Storm Ch45 Hind sight

**AN: links for the music in this chapter flea waltz www. youtube watch?v=eOTokhQtppw and the duet at: www. youtube watch?v=fk3uCn5BGfU**

**blue Danube waltz: a good version www. youtube watch?v=5YdG4RQcu0k but no images **

**As usual please remove the spaces after the dots to get the links to work...**

Ch 45 Hind sight

At the look on Christian's face, Teddy had to bite the inside of his cheek to maintain the appearance of seriousness. The older man however recovered almost immediately and with one eyebrow raised he offered: "Let's check, shall we?"

As they stood and turned towards the house they were confronted with the sight of Samantha sitting on the couch, alternating between looking at the phone in her hand and furiously typing on the small keyboard. Still riding on the high of having caught Christian by surprise, Eddy had already taken two enthusiastic steps towards the terrace before he reacted to Christian's words: "Teddy, wait," followed by "I would advise approaching with caution. Sam isn't a morning person."

That he could appreciate: Emma was at her worst first thing in the morning. "Is there a strategy that works?" he enquired, prepared to make a note for future reference.

Managing a look of long suffering Christian advised: "Slow movements, quiet voices and no trace of enthusiasm might. And do not speak until spoken to."

Amused to see the Master of the Universe bowing to the same iniquities as the common mortal, Eddy stepped aside, theatrically inviting Christian to take the lead.

Pacing themselves, the two walked the short distance to the terrace in silence. Christian half a step ahead of Teddy, turned towards the armchair and ostentatiously offered Teddy the seat on the couch besides Samantha, the glint in his eyes confirming that he had regained the upper hand. Graciously conceding defeat, Teddy sat down and poured himself a glass of orange juice then re-filled Samantha's glass. He ran out of luck when the apparently oblivious Sam stretched her hand and with laser precision grabbed the last croissant just a fraction of a second before his hand landed on the same target. Disappointment filling him at the sight of the empty plate, he slipped.

"Perhaps we could share?"

That brought Samantha to a halt with the French delicacy suspended midway between the table and her mouth. She seemed to consider for a moment then shrugged: "Finders keepers." Before she actually took a bite she delivered a second round of fire, this time aimed at Christian: "This has not worked since I was sixteen."

While Christian was composing his face into a hurt expression and Teddy seriously contemplated confiscating the freshly poured orange juice, she dropped her phone on the couch and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said, then broke off half of the croissant. "Good morning," she turned towards Teddy with the piece of bakery extended in a peace offering. "Morning Dad," she added.

The mock hurt expression melted away as Christian searched her face: "You are up early."

"My phone has been buzzing since just after seven. Half of my friends have already read the story. Have you decided on what to tell everybody?"

"What story?" Christian asked, the ice in his voice making the temperature drop several degrees.

"The Nooz. Are there others?"

In one fluid movement Christian was on his feet and without another word marched into the house with long determined strides.

"Damn," Samantha whispered watching Christian walk away, then turned to Teddy: "You don't know? When I saw the two of you walking around I thought…."

"Know what?"

Obviously unhappy, she informed him: "We have been papped yesterday. They can't name me or publish photographs, but it doesn't stop them from making allusions. This time they have a picture of you. It's just the side of your head and it's in bad lightning so unless you already know who it is there is no way to recognize you," she hurried to reassure him, "but now everybody wants to know who was with us last night."

Any questions Teddy might have had were put on hold when Christian reappeared in the doorway and decreed: "Let's have breakfast," and "Leave your phone," before turning back inside without waiting for either of them to acknowledge his orders.

Samantha immediately stood up: "Dad's furious at the newspaper. Better let him think this through for a while."

In the kitchen Christian was busy taking various items out of the fridge. Despite his carefully controlled movements, his voice was clipped as he clarified: "The Seattle Nooz is a local gossip rag. Most of the time the only thing to do is to ignore them. The paper is on the table if you want to read it."

Gingerly sitting on a chair, Teddy stretched a hand to pull the offending piece of journalism closer.

"**Wedding bells already? **

**The father taking the boyfriend to an exclusive dinner has to mean something, right? Billionaire Christian Grey was spotted at the Sky City restaurant in company of a mysterious young man and a young lady whom we are not allowed to name. We have reason to believe this was not a business meeting and we can't help but wonder if some other kind of arrangement might be in the air. Is the young lady already spoken for? Stay tuned for more news this time next month."**

Eddy read the small insert…then read it again. Wavering between stunned disbelief and the urge to laugh at the ridiculous assumption, he raised his eyes to find Christian watching him and any notion that this could be funny was instantly wiped out of existence.

"This is…" When his words failed, he tried again: "They imply…" he scanned the article one more time. "Where did they get this from?"

"Nowhere. This is what they do. As I said, most of the time they can just be ignored."

"But not this time?"

"No, not this time. Let's eat, then we can discuss how to handle it."

Despite Christian's attempts to stir the conversation away from the latest drama, Teddy's eyes kept darting towards the grainy picture of the side of his head visible behind the broad shoulders of one of the security guards. With a pang of guilt towards the house keeper who, he had learned, had come before dawn on her day off to prepare the batter for their pancakes and bake the croissants, he gulfed down everything on his plate then simply waited for the other two to catch up.

Pushing his own plate away, Christian was all business as he explained: "I expect the Nooz to keep digging. In Seattle I have measures in place and enough influence to protect us, but if they make the connection with South Carolina it will become a free for all. They will be turning stones to find anything remotely worth reporting and the local press might pick up on the story."

Then the composed business man morphed into a clearly more dangerous creature as Christian's jaws set and his eyes acquired a hard glint: "There will be questions about your name, where you live, where you have been and why. They'll want to know about Ana and the rest of your family. Your neighbours, your colleagues, your friends: they will all become potential sources of information and the papps will have no reservations about hounding them."

Regaining some of his composure, Christian's intense gray eyes searched Teddy's face for a moment before he continued:** "**Until we are prepared to answer those questions I propose to defuse the story and direct their attention elsewhere. I can arrange for someone to leak that a relative is visiting Seattle. If they also imply the visitor is from abroad, the leak will point the enquiries in the wrong direction."

He then sat back to allow Teddy to process the information – forcing his palms to remain flat against the surface of the table, afraid they otherwise might get a mind of their own and ball into fists. He didn't even glance toward Samantha who would know that things were not going to be that simple: this tactic might keep the press at bay, but their acquaintances and friends will not be as easily deflected.

Preoccupied with trying to grasp the consequences of having the media on his heels, it took Teddy a moment to realize Christian was actually asking his opinion. The responsibility of being part of the decision combined with the imposing figure of an immaculately dressed Greg McKenzie stepping through the doorway hammered home just how out of his league he was in this world. With no obvious alternatives, he slowly nodded his acceptance of Christian's plan.

Then McKenzie made his presence known: "Mr Grey, Mz Bailey has been trying to reach you, sir."

A look passed between Christian and his head of security before Christian, once again in effective, no-nonsense, man in charge mode, returned his attention to Teddy: "I'll deal with the newspaper. Do you have to leave tonight?"

"The flight is pre-booked. I don't think I can…" Teddy hesitated: this was not what Christian had asked. However this was his reality and so he finished the sentence: "change the tickets."

"That won't be an issue."

"I have to be home tomorrow evening, but I don't have to leave tonight," he gave in.

With a nod, Christian stood and Teddy and Samantha were left watching the two men exit the kitchen.

Releasing a breath he had not been aware he was holding Teddy shook his head: "Is it always like this?"

"Dad being interrupted? It has been known to happen."

"McKenzie is a brave man."

"Greg's really good at what he does. Dad trusts him, trusts his judgement. The one before him only lasted one year - he was driving dad nuts - and the one before that was kind of…meh."

Once again left to their own devices, Teddy could not resist the temptation to once again play the beautiful instrument tucked in the corner of the music room. Teddy had been at the piano while Samantha half lounged on the couch for the better part of an hour when she vigorously shook her head at him.

"Oh, no! I can sit here and listen to you play all day, but I finally convinced dad to stop with the lessons three years ago and never looked back," Samantha declined the offer to replace him at the piano.

"But you play?"

"Not like you and dad. I never got past the part where it was just a lot of hard work," she admitted

"How long have you been playing?"

"Started when I was five. You?"

"Me too," Teddy admitted, the unease he had felt since the end of breakfast creeping back. "Ten years it's a long time to stick with something you don't enjoy," he noted.

"To be fair dad said I could change to something else but…you heard him play yesterday. I really wanted to be able to do that."

Fond memories of Mrs Dawson blending with the recent knowledge of just why he had been attracted to playing the piano, he confessed: "Me too. I didn't know it at the time, but I remembered the sound from hearing…him play. When I was younger."

Samantha's eyes widened in surprise: "You did? Does dad know?"

"He knows I remembered something, a piece he used to play."

Ugly and cold, born out regret and guilt and insecurity, a suspicion wormed its way through his mind: maybe his special song was not that special after all. He turned back towards the piano and let his fingers move over the keys bringing to life the melody that had for so long haunted the edge of his awareness.

"I don't think I know this one," Samantha admitted.

Tentatively hopeful, Teddy touched the keys again, this time to play the piece as it had been intended.

"Chopin?" Samantha asked.

Teddy shook his head: "Debussy."

"The first time you played, it was slower…quieter…Is that what you remembered?"

"Yeah, he…changed it. For me."

Two small words, yet powerful enough to tear another chunk off the wall he had built around himself.

"I think I gave him the wrong answer. About the newspaper."

"Those idiots! Forget them, Teddy. It's none of their business."

Teddy just stared back at her with a look so familiar, in any other circumstances it would have been funny.

"You want them to know?! Teddy, dad was…conservative when he told you about the consequences."

It's not like he had no idea: Greg McKenzie had tried to let him down gently before Christian's visit to Charlotte, but ultimately had had to paint a realistic picture of the potential dangers, of which nosey journalists were just a part. Teddy's eyes darted to the unobtrusive, discreet camera lens just about visible besides the wall-mounted lamp, then to the windows and the paved road deliberately winding up the hill to the fenced gate and the security booth. Idly he found himself wondering whether the guard was armed…

"He has tried to warn me - to explain - when we first met, and since," he admitted, then, with growing frustration, added: "There has to be a better alternative."

"Teddy," Samantha started hesitantly, "I don't know how to say this so it doesn't sound wrong, but yesterday you were…hesitant, on the fence."

"It doesn't feel right to make the same choice… again," he confessed.

"Choice? You mean_" Samantha stopped abruptly and cursed her stupidity. It was not the press Teddy was worried about. She stood up and took a couple of steps to stand in front of him.

"You are not making the same choice. The press are vultures, predators. You have every right to want to keep them away, we all do. It's not the same thing."

The fingers of one hand raking through his hair he sighed: "I know. Still."

Samantha let out a long breath.

"We were interrupted at breakfast, but that discussion is not over. If you are going to do this, you really need to know what you are letting yourself into."

The way Teddy's jaw set and his eyes flared with quiet determination brought her hope that maybe he really meant it, maybe…

"OK. Scoot," she said and waved her hand, motioning him to the other end of the piano bench.

Surprised, Teddy shuffled backwards as Samantha sat down and informed him: "We can start with having to put up with me playing the piano. Are we keeping to the classics?"

Amused, Teddy nodded…Then stared, as Samantha launched into a rendition of the Flea Waltz*.

"Well?" she prompted at the end of the two minute piece.

Not sure if she was pulling his leg or not, he hesitated.

"Want to hear it again?" she asked with an overly hopeful expression.

Certain now that she was teasing he fought to keep a straight face: "If it's not too much to ask…"

With a brilliant smile Samantha played the beginners piece again. By the time she finished, Teddy had decided on his payback: "It does sound familiar. May I try?"

The uncertain look she gave him confirmed his plan was working. With deliberately slow, careful, movements he reproduced the piece one note at a time.

It was the look of deep concentration on his face that gave him away. This guy had just played several classic pieces out of memory!

"Pretty good but it should be a little faster. Perhaps you could try and follow me?" Samantha said getting into the game, and placed her hands in position over the keys.

With each rendition played faster than the previous one, after the third time they were both grinning like loons. After the fifth the melody was barely recognizable and when Sam missed a note and had to concede defeat they both exploded in the laughter they had barely been able to contain.

Out of nowhere, her body still shaking with a chuckle, Sam's eyes filled with tears at the overwhelming need for this to be real, for this relationship to be right. Standing up she extracted herself from between the piano and the bench: "Can you give me a moment? There's something I need to do but I'll be right back."

Embarrassed, Teddy scrambled for an apology: "I'm sorry I got carried away. There aren't many people I get to do this with."

"No, this was fun. Thank you. I just…really need to do something. I promise I won't be long."

Left alone Teddy replayed the last few moments in his mind trying to figure out if he had hurt her feelings. She had seemed to enjoy herself, she was laughing…

His eyes fell on the calligraphed name of the piano manufacturer and he couldn't help the urge to apologize at the way they had mishandled the beautiful instrument. The Blue Danube Waltz, the piece Mrs Dawson had used to teach him that playing the piano is not just about the notes. He gently touched the keys.

'_Imagine the women on their tip toes and the men guiding them moving in large sweeping circle. Don't let them put any weight on their feet. Keep them gliding, tip toeing, floating above the floor.'_

His technique was already good, but that was the turning point, the moment when playing had become a personal experience.

'_Of course you should listen to others play and learn from them, but do you notice the differences? Can you tell how who they are changes the way they play? Listen to the music then take it and make it yours. Don't play like Horowitz or Rubinstein, play like you.' _

He was going to give his first public performance at the end of the school year and he had needed the encouragement. As if playing for an audience was not nerve wrecking enough, the school piano sounded and behaved differently than Mrs Dawson's: the keys needed to be pressed harder, the sound was harsher...

His hands stilled on the keys, then fell, useless, in his lap. Over the spring break the school piano had been tuned and voiced. It had been re-adjusted to sound more like the one he had used for practice. '_Paid for stuff'_-his angry remark when he had first heard about Christian's involvement in his life came back to haunt him.

Reflexively his right hand balled into a fist. That day he had gripped the armchair to prevent his uninjured hand from doing just that. He remembered spitting out the words through clenched teeth. Afraid to let loose, afraid he was going to hit something or someone, afraid that his words would cause irreparable damage. Feeling like a freak, an outsider, the boy who didn't know his father…And then Nick's voice bringing him back into their midst, his words breathing humanity back into him: '_He fixed Emma's leg'._

And he fixed the piano. He had known and had cared enough to make it happen_

Movement to his right caught his eye and he lifted his head to see Samantha just inside the room, looking…sad, anxious perhaps.

"What's wrong?" he asked, refraining from apologizing one more time about showing off.

Samantha closed the door and leaned her back against it, stopping whatever else he had to say with a raised hand: "I hope this won't change things, but there is something I need to tell you."

xXx

It was just after ten o'clock as Teddy once again found his way to the pier at the end of Christian's property, alone this time. The Grace III was still moored further to the right: impressive, elegant, powerful, much like the man he had left standing in the living room.

Christian.

Samantha had dropped the bombshell, but Christian had provided the explanation behind her admission, although he had not needed an explanation to believe her. It actually made sense. Everything finally made sense. The weakness in Christian's earlier story, the glaring question he had not dared ask - the one apparently nobody had dared ask. Samantha was not Christian's child, not biologically speaking. His second marriage had been an arrangement; a bid meant to give a woman a chance to bond with her child with provisions for the case the bid failed. A business transaction.

Christian had not really moved on, had not replaced his family with a new one. He and his mother were the ones who had moved on. And then there was Samantha. With a pang of guilt towards the girl whom he had learned to like in the short time they had known each other, he had to admit he was relieved. She was still Christian's daughter, but the fact that they were not directly related made it easier. It was…liberating, not having to acknowledge another blood relationship.

'_I just hope that there will be a place for our relationship in your life. Not instead, but in addition to the one you have with Dan.' _It should have been a relief to understand that Christian had really meant those words. And yet…

xXx

While Eddy sat on the pier at his father's house, trying to figure out how the family he had always known and the one he was just learning to know fitted in his life, on the other side of Seattle Elliot Grey woke up with a headache and slightly disoriented.

Once he realized where he was, he let his head fall heavily back onto the pillow.

Kate had expertly avoided him for about a week after Christian's birthday, but as much as he did not want to have **that** conversation with her, neither could he keep pretending. Two weeks ago he had more or less cornered her.

"_Kate, we need to talk," he said and deposited two glasses and a crystal decanter with their best coniac on the corner of the desk in her home office, then sat down in one of the armchairs._

"_I have work tomorrow, Elliot," Kate frowned._

"_Me too, but I don't want to put this off any longer and I think we'll need the alcohol."_

"_If this is about Christian…" Kate said rising from her chair._

"_Kate!" he firmly interrupted the tirade he knew was coming, then proceeded to pour some of the amber liquid in the glasses and placed one in front of her. _

_It was very rare for him to take that tone in their marriage and, to his surprise, Kate sat back down._

"_It's not about Christian, but now that you have mentioned it, he knows that you have been in touch with Ana and obviously so do I." _

_From the other side of the desk his wife's green eyes sparked and her chin jutted up in a small gesture of defiance. Without giving her the chance to confirm or deny he pushed on: "You and Christian have both been in Rock Hill for Teddy's birthdays for many years. And as long as we are on this subject, Ava has also known about Teddy for a few years, although I don't think either Sam or Ava are aware that you have been visiting him."_

_He could see the emotions flitting over her beautiful face and her eyes darting between him and their surroundings, betraying the turmoil his words had created. _

"_How long has he known?" Kate finally asked._

"_About you or about them?" he challenged with a hard edge to his voice, but then remembering just what this discussion needed to be about he relented: "Christian found them when Teddy was five-five and a half." _

_This time the colour did drain from her face and she was far less self-assured when she asked: "I suppose he told you?"_

_Subdued by the gravity of his own upcoming confession he lowered his voice to a much gentler tone: "No Kate. I knew Christian had found them but not where they were or that you were visiting them. I found out by accident."_

"_What accident?"_

_That was it, his cue. Deciding that ripping the band aid in one go was the best way, he straightened up and as calmly as he could informed her: "I had you followed a few years ago…"_

"_You what?" Kate again rose from her chair this time slamming her hand on the desk. "How dare you? Who do you think you are?"_

"_I have a son."_

_That put an end to Kate's outburst, although she remained standing glowering at him._

"_Matt – Matthew - is fourteen."_

_Kate stared at him for a moment her eyes hardening with each passing second then in her coldest voice, disdain dripping from her lips asked: "With the number of tramps you have fucked over the years are you sure it's just one?"_

Naturally he had defended Mary, which had not gone down well. But it was finally out in the open: Kate knew about Matt and knew that he intended to bring him and Mary to Seattle. To find out that she had been aware of his infidelities and never gave any indication that she knew had shocked him. The fact that he had not had any affairs for over ten years had somehow not made it into the conversation… and now the ball was in her court and he was sleeping in the guest room. Not that he could blame her.

With a groan he got up and headed for the ensuite shower. He needed an Advil and some coffee. After taking Ana to the airport last night he had asked Christian's guy to take him to a bar and had spent another couple of hours getting wasted.

_Ana,_

_I have taken the liberty to charter a private jet which is scheduled to fly from Seattle to Charlotte at 22.15. _

_You have had a long and I expect difficult day and it is a long journey. The plane is just large enough to provide a comfortable flight and it's not one of mine. _

_I hope you will find this an acceptable compromise and consider using it. It is at your disposal from 21.15. Please let Elliot know whether you will be going via the private terminal._

_Christian_

Despite the hot water cascading over him, Elliot's mind was now back in the SUV where Ana had wordlessly handed him the handwritten note delivered by Christian's security.

In the several hours they had spent together, the few times Christian had come up was in relationship with his present: GEH and Samantha, a little bit about who knew what about whom…and he had managed to consistently deliver the same message - Christian was in a good place. Ana didn't need to know about her pictures hanging on the wall of his office or about Christian's unwavering defence of her actions. The fact that he had arranged for her to not spend the day alone could not be denied, but neither did he need to delve into Christian's motivations. As it turned out all of that were just minor details. In the end it was Ana that had provided _him_ with the full picture.

"_I can't accept this, Elliot."_

"_He does have a point," he offered half-heartedly in the name of fulfilling his promise of taking care of Ana for the day._

"_He always does."_

_Ana turned her face away from him and towards the scenery gliding outside the window._

"_You warned me to stay away from him, to let him be. But he also has to let me go."_

"_He is letting you go. He offered a plane to take you back to the other side of the country," he pointed out, pretending there was a reasonable explanation for Christian's extravagance._

_Ana remained silent for several seconds, then, without taking her eyes off the window, she asked: "Do you know why he was invited to speak at Teddy's graduation?"_

"_That award he is sponsoring, The Rose Award."_

"_My full name is Anastasia Rose. It's a creative writing competition and the winners are announced on the 9__th__ of May."_

Speaking softly, her gaze locked on the city lights passing them by, Ana had brought him up to speed with the significance of the date and had even explained about Christian arranging for the 4th of July fireworks in her corner of the world. She had not put it that way, but there was no doubt left in his mind that his brother had arranged for something that would put a smile on his woman's face and then travelled across the country every god damn year just so he could watch her enjoy his gift.

A little late, Christian's words from the hotel in Carolina had come back to him: _'Don't ever again come between me and my family'_. Uneasy, he had realized he had actually used the evening to do just that, albeit in a more civilized manner.

So he had put Ana on the plane - the one Christian had chartered for her - and spent the next couple of hours trying to recall when was the last time he had made that kind of effort for Kate. Several glasses later he had had to admit that when it came to romance he was a fucking amateur.

By the time Elliot made his way to the open plan kitchen upstairs, Kate had already been up for a couple of hours. Between her job in the media and Elliot's in construction they were both used to very early mornings. Besides she had had another fitful night. The previous evening Elliot had not only arrived home late and obviously drunk, but had evaded her accusatory line of questioning with a cryptic: '_'tis not what you think. 'twas not my woman_,' before making his way to the guest bedroom.

They had not really spoken with each other since his revelation and she had still not made up her mind on how to handle the whole situation. At least Elliot had not questioned her about her presence in Rock Hill. At any other time she might have spent more energy on the implications of both Christian and Elliot having known for years not only where Ana and Teddy were but also that she was in contact with them. These days however she had bigger and more immediate problems on her mind.

As she sat down with her first cup of coffee of the day and reached for the stack of newspapers, the only thing she was certain of was that bringing Elliot's mistress to Seattle was out of the question. While her eyes idly scanned the headlines, her mind was mostly preoccupied with how to approach that conversation… until a grainy picture on the first page of the 'Nooz caught her attention.

Elliot found her sitting at the table, eyes glued to a newspaper - an all too familiar sight in their household. Kate had already flipped through several papers and there were now two piles: a neatly stacked one to her left and a more haphazard one to her right. Usually he did grab a copy of the Seattle Times for himself, but today there was a dull throbbing inside his skull and his thoughts were all over the place: there was something in Ana's story that bothered him, something in Christian's attitude towards Ana that had never sat right with any of the Greys and a gnawing guilty feeling about his own lack of involvement in all of that. After so many years, with everybody keeping so many secrets, he even struggled to separate fact from established assumptions. And since he had heard Ana tell her story in that parking lot there was one question he didn't seem to be able to shake: how the fuck could all of them have been that wrong?

"Morning Kate," he offered as he sat down halfway down the length of the table.

Without replying to his greeting, Kate picked up the Seattle Times and with a flick of her wrist deposited it somewhat closer to him, then resumed reading her own paper. She had done that the week after he had told her about Matt: ignored his presence as much as she could. But they had spent the fourth as a family with Ethan and Joanne and she had been marginally lest distant since.

"I am sorry I got home so late yesterday. I just had some things I needed to think through and lost track of time."

"And did the alcohol or the company help you figure out whatever it was you needed to figure out?"

"It's not what you think. There hasn't been anybody in years, Kate, not since Christian got shot."

"But there _was _somebody last night. And before you deny it, you said that much when you eventually found your way home."

"I was doing Christian a favour. Can we please leave it at that?"

"No, Elliot, we can't. Besides I'm fucking certain you were not with Christian!"

With a sweep of her hand Kate spread the newspapers on the table and threw one of them in his direction. It took him a moment to figure out what that was all about but then…So much for keeping Teddy's visit under the radar.

"I never said I was with Christian."

"So where were you then?"

Kate was not going to let go and much as he didn't want to give her another reason to be upset she had left him no choice. He knew the words would hurt her and so he kept his voice as gentle as he could: "I was with Ana. She had some business to attend to and Christian asked me to keep her company while she was in town. Her flight wasn't until ten last night. I went for a couple of drinks after I dropped her at the airport. Alone."

As he knew they would, his words broke through Kate's tough exterior and her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry Katie, I know she is your friend and I figured something had happened between the two of you when she said you didn't know she was in town. That's why I didn't want to tell you."

Hastily Kate wiped the corner of her eyes trying to hide the gesture by pretending to rearrange the scattered newspapers. The Nooz unfortunately was too far from her to be neatly put back into the stack with the rest and was now lying on the table with that damn picture staring them in the face.

"So they were both in Seattle," she commented in a quiet voice.

"Ana took a flight back last night. Teddy is spending the weekend with Christian and Samantha," Elliot told her then delivered the rest of his news: "I will join them for lunch, at mom's."

Suddenly reminded that he was going to meet Teddy for the first time since the boy was a toddler, while Kate had known him all his life, the accusation flared bright between them: "Kate, Ana told me her side of the story yesterday. She told me about Ray cutting her off from the rest of the family and how she thought we didn't want to see her. Christian has been telling us for years that this is what he suspected. We never told him why we didn't - couldn't - believe him."

Elliot had mostly been thinking out loud and had no idea were the words would lead until that last sentence. Unconsciously his body followed the finger his thoughts were now pointing as he turned to face his wife: "You told us she didn't want to see us, that she needed time and space and then she and Teddy were gone…"

Kate had stood up and was now standing at the breakfast bar, her back turned to him. Elliot joined her and stopped just outside her personal space.

"Kate, did you tell her that mom wanted to talk to her?"

He had tried to keep his voice neutral, to keep the accusation out of his question, but the gravity of the situation was just starting to dawn on him. If Grace had reached the same conclusion he had just reached, or if Christian did…

"She never asked about anybody. She only wanted to know about Christian. It was always about Christian. It always is about Christian!" Kate's voice had been gradually rising and she was now just not shouting. "Look at us," Kate continued, "we are still discussing Christian: his life, his wife, his divorce. What about us? Don't you think we have bigger issues than to talk about your brother?"

For better or for worse, they had been married for over twenty years and Elliot was quite familiar with the way Kate would deflect a conversation she didn't want to have. Perhaps she had a point, but she had in fact answered his question and it was not the answer he had hoped for. He remained frozen in place as the consequences were rolling though his mind, the possibilities, the 'what if's'…

Ava found her parents standing by the breakfast bar, glowering at each other. Trouble in paradise it was then, not that her parents' relationship had always been perfect. They were in fact much like the parents of most of her friends: caught up in their own individual lives with occasional breaks for Sunday dinner. At least hers were making an effort to spend time with her. And this morning she had more important things on her mind anyway.

"Morning mom, dad," she quipped, and made her way to the kitchen table. "Ok if I take the 'Nooz?"

Her parents both moved at the same time and a mix of 'Button' and 'Ava' and something about hugs and breakfast vaguely registered as her eyes quickly took in the single paper standing apart on the table.

"Oh my God! Uncle Christian is going to lose it when he sees this! Dad," she raised her eyes from the paper, "do you know what this is about? Who was with them last night?"

"Slow down, Ava. It's just the Nooz spitting nonsense."

"I know that and you know that, the rest of Seattle doesn't have a clue. There's never anything about Sam in the papers and suddenly there's this? My phone has been buzzing since half past seven!"

**AN: Next chapter: Teddy meeting Grace and Elliot.**


	48. Summer Storm Ch46 Reunion P1

**AN: As usual thank you all so much for your PMs and reviews, they mean the world to me and are fuel to burning the midnight oil while writing the next chapter. :) Speaking of which, a few of you have PMed to say that the chapters are too long and a lot of you have PMed to say that the wait is too long so on a trial basis I will post half a chapter on Tuesday and the other half on Saturday for this and the next week and see how it goes.**

**I have also had a lot of questions about Kate's motivation. For now all we know about that is what she told Ana when they talked in the kitchen in Rock Hill (Ch 9). I have no reason to believe she wasn't being truthful ;).**

**And finally the name change: all the judge has been asked to do is to unseal the records so that Ana can prove who she was before. Ana and Teddy's new names are legal and valid unless someone challenges the court order that had allowed the name change to take place (which won't happen, there is just no reason for it). **

Ch 46 Reunion -** Part one**

The sun was high in the sky by the time Teddy, without a glance for the catamaran that had seemed to loom so large only an hour or so ago, left his spot on the pier and turned back to the house. His first goal was made easier when he spotted Samantha through the glass walls of the winter garden. Rather than test if any of the doors were open he entered the house and walked through the kitchen, the foyer and the music room, again with barely a glance towards the grand piano. He did however stop as he reached the door to the room he had actually not yet seen from the inside and took a moment to collect his thoughts.

"Hi," he said keeping his voice down to not startle the young woman tending the exotic plants.

"Hi," she replied, but kept her eyes on the bonsai she was watering.

"Can I come in?"

Samantha straightened the can, careful to not spill any drops on the fragile leaves, than raised her head: "Of course. Sorry, this is my one chore and Mr Yasi is very strict."

The display of bonsai trees in front of her was impressive and Samantha had a 'to do' list with requirements for each of them. Mr Yasi, Teddy learned, was only coming two or three times a year and the rest of the time she was responsible for following the detailed instructions. Fascinating as the subject was, bonsai trees was not what the two young people had on their minds. With a deep breath Eddy broached the difficult subject:

"Sam, you said you hoped it won't change things and it doesn't."

"Thank you, I am glad to hear you say that."

"I mean it," he insisted.

Sam turned her gaze to the plants, her fingertips gently resting on the handle of the watering can.

"I'm sorry I brought this to you. I don't often go against dad – he is annoyingly often right - but I really thought it was the right thing to do."

"It was. I'd rather know now than find out later."

As he heard the contradiction in his own words, Teddy asked: "Sam, can we sit for a moment?"

Seating furniture of various types was liberally strewn around the room and he quickly settled for a group of armchairs around a small table. As soon as Samantha joined him, he started speaking before anything else could interrupt:

"Some of the things I've been trying to figure out sitting out there are still a little mixed up, so bear with me if I'm not making perfect sense, but it goes something like this: with blood relatives there is an expectation, a sense of obligation, to bond somehow. But it doesn't always happen. And shared genes are not strictly necessary. Nick and I don't have that, and it honestly doesn't matter. Not unless one of us needs an organ or something. I won't tell you it never played on my mind. Sometimes dad would do something with Nick and I'd wonder, but that was on me, not on him. He's always been there for me, cared for me, and that's what really matters."

"Dad has made the same arguments," Samantha admitted.

"But you are not convinced," Teddy noted. "I thought…he said you were going to tell the rest of the family in a couple of months."

"We are. I have to tell them."

In the short time they had known each other she had been self-assured and open, made him feel welcome and went out of her way to smooth over the awkward moments. Right now, despite his reassurance, she looked…resigned, and his anger at the adults in their lives found new fuel to burn: neither of them should be in this situation nor face this kind of decision.

"I have always known Dan was not my biological parent, but it is not something we ever discussed. When I found out about Christian, it was a shock to all of us. My biggest fear however has been similar to what I suspect you are wondering about right now: if our, mine and Dan's and Nick's lack of biological connection was put on the spot, what would become of our relationship? Would I even still be part of the family?"

The frightened expression in her face was all the confirmation he needed that he was on the right track so he hurried to explain: "What I have just realized is that just as with my doubts about dad's feelings for me I was the only one asking that question. Our relationship is what it is because we care about each other and we will continue to do so no matter how many new people come into our lives. And that is also true about my relationship with Christian: I'm not here because he is my biological parent. I'm here because he cared, because he still cares. He has made it clear that for him you are his daughter just as much as I am his son. That's what matters, not why he feels the way he does, about either of us."

A little embarrassed at his passionate speech, Teddy stopped to draw breath.

"I guess that what I am trying to say is that I understand why you think that your news will put the relationship with the rest of your family to the test, but from what I know of them so far if this family doesn't understand about having a bond with someone not biologically related, no one does. If the worst should happen you will always have Christian in your life and…I…have already heard you play the piano and didn't run for the hills so…"

A blush was rising in Sam's cheeks but before he could regret sounding as if he made light of the situation she visibly swallowed: "You make a good argument, counsellor."

That made him blush.

With a mountain of conflicting emotions weighing on both of them they just sat in silence for a while. Eventually Samantha sighed and pointed out: "We need a quote."

It took another moment of staring at each other before he came up with one that seemed fitting: "There's all sorts of stuff going on in dimensions thirteen to twenty-two that you really wouldn't want to know about."

xXx

For his next step, Samantha had informed him that Christian was in his office. When Teddy noticed that the door had been left open he figured this was as good as an invitation to come in, yet the look of deep concentration on the man's face made him hesitate. Then the piercing gray eyes left the screen and landed on him. In the couple of heart beats it took for Christian to switch from work mode to family man, Teddy found himself subjected to that demanding, challenging, hard stare he had seen directed at others, and had a split second to choose a path: retreat or take the challenge and step forward. Before Christian had relaxed enough to lean back in his chair, Teddy had made his choice and taken a step into the room then went to occupy one of the two chairs on his side of the desk.

"Samantha asked me to let you know she'll be ready in half an hour," he informed the man still holding him with his gaze.

A slight nod of Christian's head conveyed he had heard the words, but his eyes never left Teddy's face, obviously waiting for the part that had warranted crossing the threshold and taking a seat.

"Thank you for trusting me with the truth."

"But?" Christian prompted

Teddy had not really planned what he was going to say. All he had when entering the room was the unspoken pact between him and Samantha: they were both going to explore what being a Grey really was about - albeit coming from opposing ends of the spectrum – because, despite his quote, dimensions 13 to 22 could no longer be ignored…

"I need to know if there is anything else I should know."

Well aware of the impression he usually made on people, paternal pride mixed with the regret he had had so little to do with Teddy's upbringing bloomed inside Christian's heart. The young man in front of him was smart, resilient, brave and honest. And right now Teddy looked relaxed enough, his question not intended as a challenge but merely a request for information.

"A few things, probably. For the most part you know enough to ask the right questions if you really want to know more. There is one thing experience has taught me you would rather know although you will probably not like it." He met Teddy's eyes and firmly held his gaze: "You have security. There has been a team assigned to you since I found you. Their instructions are to report to me in case of a major incident, otherwise their job is to remain in the background and ensure your safety."

In the strange universe in which he had been living for the past month or so, Teddy was not entirely surprised by the news. He had already figured out Christian had to have some kind of surveillance in place, he had just not considered what exactly that would entail.

"The man at the hospital, Taylor, you said he was not working for you."

"He wasn't. He is not part of your detail if that is what you are wondering."

"The girl – woman – she was at the hospital talking to your brother. She was in the street and Nick said she was at the bar."

"Elizabeth Baer, yes."

"Are there others?"

"The South Carolina team is comprised of eighteen men and women. Three of them have been more permanently assigned to you for logistical reasons, the rest of them rotate between your detail and the rest of the family."

"They are only there for security purposes," Christian responded to the sudden tension in Teddy's posture.

"So your family didn't know where we were, but you trusted a bunch of strangers?"

"The team did not know who you were or why they were assigned to protect you. They didn't even know who was paying them."

"And they never asked?"

"They are close protection professionals. It's what they do. There were no direct threats they needed to deal with, so they didn't need any details."

"Past tense."

"I had to bring them on board before the graduation ceremony," Christian nodded, keeping himself in check to not react to the aggressive questions. "They now report to McKenzie and McKenzie reports to Luke Sawyer, my director of security."

Teddy did not look convinced and it was time to defuse the topic.

"The team has to be aware of where you are and with whom, but they don't share those details with me unless there is a threat or an emergency. It is a general rule for all the close protection I hire both for family and for some key GEH personnel. The security teams are not there to spy on their charges."

Christian didn't sound enthusiastic about that statement but that didn't seem reason enough to challenge it and he had other things on his mind, so Teddy simply asked: "So what happens now?"

"That is in a certain measure up to you. If you would rather know who and where they are, that can be arranged; otherwise they can for now continue to do their jobs from a distance."

Christian did not waste words. If anything, Teddy had learned the man was precise and quite literal. He was also deliberate. That 'for now' comment had not been a slip up and the fact that not having security was not an option had not been an omission.

"I think I'd rather know who is…following me," he frowned.

"I'll get McKenzie to set it up," Christian answered distracted by the knowledge that he had once again piled a lot on his son. The whole weekend had so far been much more intense than he had anticipated. Except for Teddy and Samantha seemingly getting along better than he had dared hope, everything else had been one incident after the other.

"Teddy, it's not too late to change plans for this afternoon. If you would rather do something else, we can still take the boat out or just stay here," he offered.

"No. It's OK. I am looking forward to meeting them," Teddy replied, a little surprised to realise it was actually true. "But there is something I wanted to ask before I do that."

Once again Christian nodded and Teddy took a deep breath: "Can you tell me who knows what about whom?"

xXx

As soon as Teddy left to change for lunch, Christian briefly returned his attention to the email from his head of PR outlining their action plan to keep the media at bay for a little longer. His fingers hesitated over the keyboard. It would be so easy…But once again his need to protect his son trumped his desire to have their relationship officially acknowledged. 'Approved' he replied, then switched off the computer and picked up his phone to return the call he could no longer ignore. His precaution of closing the door before dialling proved unnecessary as he hardly had time to open his mouth in greeting.

"Christian, finally! I'm sure you know why I have been calling you. I know for a fact Sam is not getting married so what the hell is that all about? Don't you have a PR team anymore?"

"Hello to you too Mia."

xXx

In his bedroom upstairs, with assured, economical movements, Teddy first changed into a light blue shirt to go with his beige trousers, then collected his phone from the bedside table. The mixed feelings about meeting the rest of the family were not entirely gone, but he had been given a chance to try and reconcile his past with his present and he was going to take it. Before committing to that course of action, there was however one thing that was his and his alone to protect, and so he took a moment to make a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hi dad,"

"Eddy. Everything all right?"

"Yes. I just wanted to say hi and to let you know that instead of the morning I'll be home tomorrow evening."

"Things are going well then?"

"Yeah. Christian has been busy for a while but we had some time to talk and I met Samantha. She's a really nice person. Oh, but don't tell Emma I said that."

Dan chuckled.

"I'll be sure to leave that part to you. I heard of that ship that got hijacked. CNN just confirmed Christian owns some of it."

"They have?"

"I thought you'd know."

"I was here when they announced it yesterday. I've not listened to the news since, but yes Christian has had to deal with some of that."

"OK. So when do you need me to pick you up?"

Damn, he'd forgotten about that.

"Uh…I don't know. Can I call you when I leave Seattle? Oh, did mom get home all right?"

"Yes, she arrived early this morning. Do you want to talk to her?"

There had been just a slight hesitation before Dan's answer, but enough to make Eddy frown.

"No. I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Sure thing. We'll keep some dinner for you in case you don't get home until late."

"Thanks dad."

"Eddy… take care OK?"

"I will dad, thanks."

**AN Part 2 Saturday...**


	49. Summer Storm ch46 Reunion pt2

**AN The votes in the matter of half chapters are 3 to 1 against so we'll go back to Saturday postings. Except for where I will be on the road next weekend so instead of Saturday I will post a full chapter Thursday evening (GMT).**

Ch 46 Reunion p2

Half an hour later the SUV slowed down in front of yet another gated property. From his own research he knew that while Carrick Grey had eventually made a name for himself and had a long and distinguished career in the Washington State legal circles, he had started out by working at his father-in-law's law firm. Grace Trevelyan-Grey had come from money and a privileged background with deep roots in the history of the state of Washington, and all the social status and connections that came with that. As if presenting evidence of that, the mansion at the end of the driveway looked bigger than Christian's home: wider and taller, all white stone and tall windows, a circular driveway ending in front of a double door, the dark wood contrasting with the light colour of the rest of the house.

Even in this home setting the security guard in the front seat jumped out of the car the second the vehicle came to a halt to open Christian's door while his eyes surveyed their surroundings. Teddy was still watching the spectacle as his own door was opened by yet another one of the Men in Black. Stepping out of the car he hesitated between following Christian's lead and ignoring the man and common courtesy requiring he thanked him for his efforts. He settled for a nod and half turned to wait for Christian and Samantha to walk around the car. Only then did he notice Christian had been observing him. The slight nod of approval was slightly annoying but also, in a weird way, satisfying, as if receiving a minor prize. Still not ready to share that part of his psyche, he arranged his features in a blank look, immediately sparking a glimmer of amusement in Christian's eyes. Before he could curse and make up his mind which one of them had won this particular round, Christian had reached him.

"Shall we?" Christian enquired.

As if it had heard him, one half of the double doors opened to reveal a woman in her fifties, wearing a white blouse and brown skirt.

"Mr Christian, Miss Samantha, sir," she greeted the visitors.

"Chantelle, this is my son, Theodore."

"Mr Theodore, welcome to Bellevue. Dr Grey is waiting for you on the patio," the woman replied without missing a beat.

Christian had explained on the way here about the staff addressing them by a title and their first names and with some trepidation Teddy had agreed that Theodore was more appropriate than Teddy, but as they filled past the house keeper and into a wide foyer he was grateful for the few seconds to allow the unease to settle. Christian was pointing out the various rooms on the ground floor but all he could do was nod while he one more time silently rehearsed the few words he had prepared for greeting Grace Grey. At the other end of the foyer, French doors opened onto a paved terrace where the table was set for five, with white linen and white china so smooth it was slightly glistening in the mid-day sun.

To the right of the table was a group of outdoor furniture and, standing up to greet them, the elderly lady he remembered from his graduation. While her white shirt and blue long summer skirt were casual enough, her demeanour belayed that impression. From her straight posture to her head held high and the blue eyes just not staring at him, he might as well have been in the presence of the queen mother. Teddy straightened his own spine to match her stance and had just enough time to catch a glimpse of the barely there trembling of her lips and the fine mist of tears adding a glimmer to her eyes, before Christian moved to stand by his mother.

With his usually commanding voice reduced to a hoarse whisper he made the introductions: "Mother, this is Teddy. Teddy, this is Grace Grey, my mother."

Her eyes firmly on the young man stood in front of her and without any indication that she had noticed her son, Grace took a step forward and stretched out her hand: "Teddy, welcome to Bellevue. I cannot begin to tell you how much it means to me, to all of us, to have you here."

"Thank you Dr Grey. I am happy to be here and thank you for coming to my graduation. It means a lot to me that you were there."

Already cursing the formality between them, as soon as Grace placed her hand in her grandson's extended one, she gently pulled him a little closer, then lightly rested her other hand on his upper arm: "There is no need to thank me. It was one of the best days of my life. And please call me Grace."

There was no denying the warmth and sincerity radiating from her. Combined with the gratitude he felt at her obvious restraint he had to fight the temptation to bow and instead, still holding her hand, replied: "Of course, Grace, thank you."

"Ahem," Samantha loudly cleared her throat besides him, drawing Grace's eyes away from Teddy.

"Sam dear," Grace turned towards her ending the handshake but leaving her left hand on Teddy's arm as she reached out and pulled Samantha into a hug.

"Come, sit down. Lunch will be served soon but we have a moment to catch up. I thought you might be taking the boat so I arranged for it to be kept a little longer," Grace addressed both her grandchildren and with a slight pressure of her hands on their respective arms directed them to the seating area.

His presence apparently forgotten, Christian allowed the scene in front of him to unfold without interfering. He knew his mother well and recognized the effort she was making to not overwhelm Teddy with her own emotions…or to lash out at **him** in frustration that this meeting had been so long coming. With Teddy sitting between Grace and Samantha, he took the chair next to his mother and reached out for her hand. Holding it in a firm grip, he gently explained: "I thought about it but it was not the right wind for sailing this way."

The slight slump in Grace's shoulders and the fact that she allowed her hand to remain in his, gave him hope that she had understood his message: '_It couldn't happen sooner, mom_.'

As she interacted with her grandchildren, nothing could spoil Grace Grey's joy on this summer day. She had managed to push the worst of the negative emotions to the side and, eyes sparkling with barely contained happiness, she allowed herself to just enjoy the moment. While gently laughing at the banter between Sam and Teddy she even went so far as to acknowledge her son a few times, if only with a squeeze of her hand. It seemed like only moments until Chantelle appeared on the terrace to enquire whether they were ready for lunch.

"Are we not going to wait for Uncle Elliot?"

"Elliot was supposed to be here a while ago, so no. Let's move to the table, shall we?" Grace instructed.

They had just sat at the elegant table when Elliot Grey's tall frame emerged through the French doors and without preamble he briskly took two steps to place a kiss on Grace's cheek.

"Hi mom, what's for lunch?"

"Uncle Elliot!" Samantha exclaimed excitedly from her seat next to Grace.

"Hello Princess, did you miss me?" Elliot said as he embraced Samantha in a bear hug making her giggle.

Then he straightened and walked behind Grace's chair, until he came to a halt beside Teddy. Christian and Teddy both stood and Christian moved to stand beside his son as he once again made the introductions: "Teddy, this is my brother Elliot."

The man whose face he remembered from his graduation ceremony and from his attempts to find more about this family, was now standing in front of him. Although without the intensity he had become accustomed to from Christian, Elliot Grey's eyes were taking him in as he stretched out his hand in a deliberate gesture.

"Teddy, welcome to Seattle," the older man offered in a slightly gruff voice.

"Thank you Mr Grey. And thank you for coming all the way to the graduation ceremony."

"Elliot ," the man corrected him, then added: "Don't mention it, it was my pleasure to be there, and for the record I am the **older** brother."

Suddenly becoming all business, Elliot enquired: "So what have I missed so far? Have you finished discussing the boring stuff like school and career and such or am I too early?"

Over Samantha's chuckle, Christian informed him: "You're not early Elliot. You're half an hour late."

Despite his stern admonition Christian extended his hand to greet his brother. With the introductions out of the way, Teddy and Christian sat back down and Elliot moved to walk behind them to his own seat on the other side of Samantha. As he did so, his hand briefly landed on his brother's shoulder causing Christian's whole body to stiffen, but then the hand was gone, Christian's posture returned to being merely erect and Elliot was finally seated at the table.

Immediately Chantelle came through the doors rolling out a cart with covered dishes. Placing a bowl of soup in front of each person she informed them: "This is cold cucumber and spinach soup. The main course will be cold stuffed roast pork with figs and chutney and warm squash gratin."

Teddy was wondering whether he will regret that last croissant but before the woman could once again disappear into the house, Elliot called: "Chantelle, did you forget something?"

"I don't think so Mr Elliot," the woman frowned but the smile on her lips contrasted with her apparent concern.

Wondering what that was about, Teddy's eyes quickly darted over the impeccably set table and couldn't find anything missing, but then it's not like he had lunch like this every day…

"What about desert?" Elliot enquired.

Samantha chuckled and Teddy couldn't help smile at the mixture of hope and disappointment in the grown man's voice.

"Sponge cake with berries and sweet madeira sauce will be served with the coffee, Mr Elliot," Chantelle reassured him, laughter just an inch below the surface of her soft voice.

"Ah, thank you. I'll be sure to leave some space," Elliot smiled with a content expression then, as Grace thanked the house keeper and picked up her spoon signalling they could start their meal, he turned his attention to Teddy: "A man needs to know these things," he said with a shrug, then winked.

To Teddy's surprise Christian challenged his brother: "And when pray tell did you ever **not** have space for desert?"

When everybody else laughed, Teddy had to lower his head to hide his smile.

With all of them on their best behaviour, even the furtive glances thrown his way were mercifully brief enough that he could mostly pretend he didn't notice. He had already learned to accept Christian's almost permanent look of concern and it was not too hard to figure out why Elliot's eyes kept darting between him and Christian. It was the wonder in Grace's eyes that was hardest to ignore and had made him blush a couple of times. The conversation was lively enough although there was not much to be done about the fact that he was essentially a stranger to them. When Elliot launched into a game of twenty questions where each had to justify their answers it became obvious that Christian's older brother had taken it upon himself to ensure the topics stayed on neutral ground while permitting them to learn a little about each other.

With renewed respect for the older Grey, Teddy gave his answers and listened with rapt attention to everybody else's. Yet even some of the deliberately innocent questions lead to the occasional difficulty. When asked about his favourite colour, Christian's eyes had briefly glided over his table companions before he had stated 'blue' and added 'move on' in a tone which, while not harsh, didn't leave room for further debate.

At 'What sports do you practice?' Teddy had admitted that he had had to cut back on practice because several of his sparring partners had moved away and confessed he didn't know dummies like the one Christian had installed in his basement existed. It turned out that they didn't. The one in Christian's home was not just experimental; it was the only one in existence, commissioned so **he** could try it out. Whether Christian was going to invest in the three young entrepreneurs who had come up with the idea and the design, was entirely up to his opinion of the device. In a bid to push the responsibility away he had stammered: 'I didn't think you would be interested in such a small venture.'

Five minutes later, in less than thirty sentences, Christian had described getting a production line started, marketing and distributing the product while continuing development based on feedback and as soon as the company became profitable reinvest the profits in developing similar devices for other combat/self-defence sports. The first intended customers would be the military…

Wondering if he had just witnessed the birth of some nation-wide, possibly international,l business venture and realizing just how much time and effort Christian had put into acquiring the device, he was still starring when Elliot, once again, came to the rescue: "Yeah, what he said," and shook his head.

They made it half way through desert before, instead of Chantelle's pleasant and tranquil persona, Greg McKenzie appeared at the French doors and stopped, practically standing at attention, on the threshold.

"Sir, Mrs Parker-Jones is on the phone for you."

"Take a message," Christian attempted to dismiss his man with a pointed stare reminding him of his new order of priorities.

Greg had had a long morning fending Roz Bailey, Luke Sawyer – technically his superior – and various other of Christian's executives, not to mention having had to alter several of their security routines from blatantly obvious –a measure aimed to deter any foolhardy attempt – to minimal and discreet while having to contend with a potential media shit storm. And so he snapped. In three long strides he was at Christian's side and extended his arm presenting the phone in his open palm.

"Mrs Parker-Jones has the Secretary of State on hold, sir."

Under everybody's stare Christian took the time to carefully place his napkin on the table and address his mother: "Mother?"

"Of course," Grace nodded with a worried look.

Only then did Christian stand up and took the phone from Greg McKenzie.

"Andreea, I have told you to go home."

…

"Very well, put her through, but then hand over to Meghan and go home. I'll see you Monday."

Samantha and Teddy both looked on as Christian, followed by McKenzie, disappeared into the house, while Grace and Elliot shared a worried glance. Knowing that Teddy had probably caught on their unease, Elliot attempted to make light of the situation:

"Assuming you are not yet fluent in speaking 'Christian'," he addressed Teddy, "what he meant was 'Thank you for being in the office on a Saturday, Andreea, I realize this is not part of your usual duties and appreciate your dedication.'"

This time his effort fell a little flat, so he relented: "This is probably about that ship of his…you know about that?"

"Yes, I was there yesterday when he got the news. He was worried about the crew."

"He probably still is. But Christian knows what he is doing. He'll handle this."

Elliot's assured tone and direct stare left no doubt about his confidence in his brother's abilities, yet Grace could not help enquiring: "He won't do anything…rash, will he?"

With everybody's eyes now on him, Elliot shrugged: "This is Christian we're talking about. He'll come up with something nobody else would even consider, turn it into a success and come out of it smelling of roses, then get his PR department to earn their obscenely generous salaries and '_Shut this down. Today'_."

Elliot's impersonation of his brother had the desired effect of lightening up the atmosphere and with a small sigh Grace turned to Teddy: "Would you like a tour of the house?"

As Elliot excused himself to 'perform his brotherly duties and annoy the hell out of Christian', it was left to Grace and Samantha to play tour guides for Teddy. The house was as beautiful on the inside as it was on the outside. In contrast with the neutral colours, open spaces and relatively spare furnishing of Christian's home, his mother's house was warm and friendly with soft curved lines on the furniture, warm colours on the walls and decorations liberally strewn around the place bringing everything together and drawing attention to the contents of the room and the occupiers rather than the space itself.

"This is where I spend most of my time," Grace told him as he led him and Samantha into a room where green upholstery and dark brown woodwork contrasted with pale yellow walls.

Besides the large portrait of Grace and Carrick Grey above the fireplace in the dining room – my late husband, Carrick, Grace had explained – this was the only room where framed photographs were part of the décor and Eddy's eyes were immediately drawn to them.

"Come," Grace said in a soft voice as she led him closer to the nearest picture.

As they made their way around the room she and Samantha took turns explaining some of the pictures. Most of the faces were already familiar to him but there were more pictures of Mia Grey – Farelli, he reminded himself – and her family than there had been in Christian's office and Grace entertained him with stories about each of them, the love and longing unmistakable in the way she spoke about them. Perhaps it was for the best that Grace's mind had been distracted by the memories as the next picture made him still, hardly able to breathe, staring at the face of his mother's friend.

Grace's explanation of "This was taken at Ava's high school graduation this summer. Ava is Elliot's daughter and Katherine is his wife" reached his ears as if from a distance, muffled by the sound of the blood rushing from his head as he could not take his eyes off the smiling face of the woman he had known all his life, the woman who was part of both worlds and whose 'distorted version of the truth' had started all of this…

"…she's something else," Samantha's voice dragged him back into the present.

Peeling his eyes off the picture, his gaze landed on Sam - his new friend, his unexpected partner on this journey, the strong girl who despite carrying a secret and fears of her own had welcomed him into her world and into her home - and Grace, who was, despite her efforts to hide her feelings, so full of love and attention for him it was almost overwhelming. Yet he stood beside them like a stranger, an outsider, and from this vantage point it occurred to him that they were also hurt, that they too needed to heal… and that instead of suffering the consequences he should actually do something about it.

"Sorry, Sam, can you say that again?"

"You OK, you looked a bit…"

He knew what he had to do, but the step was big enough that his mouth instantly went dry.

"Teddy, would you like to go back outside?" Grace offered.

"No, thank you. I was just thinking….So I have four cousins?"

He had not dared look at the two women while he spoke. Samantha would know how big a step this was for him and he couldn't begin to imagine what Grace would make of it.

"Shit Teddy, sorry Gran," Samantha stammered. "Do you think you could give me a heads up before you…"

He couldn't help the smug grin on his face as he looked at her, challenging her to finish that sentence.

"We'll see how smug you are once you've met them. As I was saying, Ava is nothing like in these pictures."

"Teddy, would you like to meet them?" Grace asked tentatively.

He was head and shoulders taller than Grace so she was looking up at him. There was so much hope in her eyes that he squirmed a little and combed his fingers through his hair before he could respond.

"Yes, I do. I…" he let his eyes glide over the many pictures in the room and allowed himself to not feel like a stranger: "I do."

Emboldened by this unexpected turn, Grace touched his arm to gently stir him away from the group of photographs and towards her armchair: "This is where I usually sit when I'm in here," she said, her voice so soft it was barely audible.

Teddy took in the elegant armchair and the dainty coffee table on which yet another picture frame was resting. Grace was obviously encouraging him to walk that way and as soon as he saw the picture he understood why: it was the picture of him and Christian shaking hands at his graduation.

"This is a copy; Christian would never part with the original. I hope he explained why there aren't more pictures of you in here."

The wave of conflicting emotions at the sight of him and Christian together threatening to shake his resolve to make things better, he filled his lungs with air until the fullness became a dull ache in his chest, his shoulders and between his shoulder blades.

**AN: Next chapter: wrapping up the visit to Seattle.**


	50. Summer Storm Ch47 Consequences

**AN: Final chapter from Teddy's visit in Seattle. Someone has pointed out that there are a few spelling mistakes throughout the chapters. (sorry I didn't get back to you, I will as soon as I get a chance). I do apologize for any such errors. They are of the type a spellcheck won't catch and since my proof reader, who used to kindly point out stuff like ' You can't begin with a temporal adverb clause and continue with unintroduced past progressive. It's just madness!'- has migrated to the land of higher education I am left to my own devices. Please believe me when I say that it is not out of carelessness and I'll try to figure out a solution. In the mean time I hope you will enjoy this chapter.**

**The picture they are debating is on Pinterest (and on google...) and is indeed to be found at the MET, but AFAIK the MET owns it. The interpretation for what it means is my own impression of it, not necessarily what an art critic will see/believe, but the artist is indeed rumoured to not have been aware of the legend.**

**Finally: revised chapters 4 and 5 are up.**

**Beta characters: Hanna was Teddy's girlfriend in college**

Ch 47 Consequences

When they finally made it back to Medina around eight that evening, Christian, Teddy and Samantha all headed to the large open space that served as a living room, but almost immediately Samantha excused herself. With the promise to be back for a snack before the end of the evening, she openly gave Teddy and Christian time to catch up. Christian barely had time to enquire as to whether Teddy would like something to drink when an obviously pained McKenzie appeared in the arched entrance. With a '_make yourself comfortable, I won't be long' _from Christian, the two men disappeared, although, Teddy noted, not towards Christian's office but towards the kitchen.

Sat on the same couch where earlier in the day he had heard the story behind Christian's second marriage, he let his gaze roam about the room, relishing the moment of solitude.

Ava had joined them in the middle of the afternoon and while her personality seemed similar to her mother's, she also seemed very fond of all the other family members. Although she had teased him about his looks she had never gone too far, and the couple of times she had gotten close to subjects that might have proven awkward, she had had enough insight to back down. She had however shattered through all their careful tiptoeing around each other on one point: she was his cousin Ava and he was her cousin Teddy.

That is how far he had come into acknowledging the family connections out loud. Perhaps it was easier because he didn't have other cousins, and so it was just a word, a descriptive, not evoking any particular connection. There was another word that did mean something, which he had found himself tentatively rolling through his mind, although he had not dared speak it out loud. The girls were calling Grace Grey 'Gran'. The quasi regal figure he had first met had slowly revealed itself to be mostly a figment of his imagination. He had already started to suspect that underneath her impeccable manners and reserved demeanour she was a kind and thoughtful person, when the occasion had presented itself for a moment shared just between the two of them.

"_This is just a copy; Christian would never part with the original. I hope he explained why there aren't more pictures of you in here."_

"_Yes, he has," he replied once he managed to push the memory of that first handshake out of his immediate thoughts._

"_Gran, Teddy, will you excuse me for a moment? I just remembered something." Samantha broke the silence and without really waiting for permission sent a smile their way then was gone before either of them could ask for details._

_With only a brief glance in Samantha's direction, Grace returned her attention to him and offered: "I think we will be more comfortable outside. They will find us there." _

_Her hand once again lightly touching his arm, she stirred him away from the picture and led him back to the sitting area on the terrace. Once they were seated in neighbouring armchairs, Grace leaned back and seemed to just relax. In the quiet, intimate moment, she kept her voice low and soft to enquire: "Do you know that all three of my children are adopted?"_

_At his nod she continued: "Elliot was two and Mia was a new born baby so all they have ever known is their life as a Grey. Christian however was four and he could still remember his life before we adopted him. It took him a while to accept us as family. So I understand, we all do, that this is not easy for you. I also know that Christian is not easy to get to know and can be difficult to get along with."_

"_It can be…confusing at times, but I think we're getting there," he dared admit._

"_Obviously I know your mother," Grace continued after a moment, "but very little about the rest of your family."_

Under Grace's gentle prodding, he had found himself talking about Emma and Nick and Dan without the impulse to apologize for his feelings towards them. As she listened and smiled, asked and nodded and gently laughed at some tale of childhood pranks, he began to understand why Christian always spoke so highly, almost reverently, of his mother. With a few words she had not only validated his struggle to fit in, but also let him know Christian would understand. What used to put a strain on their relationship had been turned into a kind of common ground.

After a while first Sam, then Elliot and Christian reappeared and eventually Ava had arrived, but by then he knew without a doubt that Grace Grey was someone he truly wanted in his life. Initially for her sake, he had made an effort to engage more actively with the others and by the end of the evening some invisible barrier was definitely…blurred.

His eyes settled onto the large abstract painting on the opposite wall. He had been too preoccupied to pay much attention to it since he had first glimpsed it, but now he stood to get a better look. Abstract art was not really his thing; this was more Hannah's domain. She had attempted to teach him to relax his mind and allow the swirl of colours to evoke impressions, emotions…with mixed results.

"Do you like it?"

"Uh, I don't know. The colours work well together, it has a happy feeling, but it is also... confusing. This was more Hanna's thing," he replied honestly, one look at Christian confirming he didn't have to explain who Hanna was. "Who is the artist?"

"Jackson Pollock. The painting is called Pasiphae but it is alleged he didn't know the legend so the title is probably not relevant. I agree with your impression."

Teddy turned his head to wait for an explanation and so Christian elaborated: "The only recognizable figure is the man in the corner. The middle of the painting is like a bubble on which the rest encroaches. This seemed to be a good day so the colours are mostly warm, but the sharp straight lines are pulling the object of his attention apart until it is no longer recognizable. Lives the impression of a world which is not necessarily bad but confusing and distracting, altering his perception or perhaps even preventing him from making sense of what is in front of him."

With another glance at the painting Christian changed tracks: "I brought beers."

His mind still preoccupied by the impromptu art lesson, Teddy sat on the couch. The mundane act of reaching for a bottle of beer reminded him of similar moments when Hanna would share some of her passion for the art. She was not an artist and her major, at her parent's insistence, had been in mathematics and engineering, but had she been free to choose she would have liked to study art and art history. He had mercilessly teased her over the ridiculously high price people were willing to pay for scratches on a canvas…

"Is that an original?" he blurted before he could stop himself.

Christian send a side glance his way and having filled his own glass put his beer bottle down.

"No. The original is at the MET, on indefinite loan."

Teddy's relief only lasted until about a second after Christian finished speaking.

"They are only things Teddy," Christian indirectly confirmed his suspicion. "Valuable, nice to look at, but ultimately not what really matters."

There it was, the elephant in the room, looming large enough it was getting hard to ignore. It was a testimony to how far they had come that the reminder did not feel threatening, just…there. And for the second time that day Christian reached the decision that it was time to address things with his son.

"I have considered giving it all up. When I found you, one of the obvious options was to walk away from all of this, trade it for a chance to be a part of your life."

The rational part of Teddy's mind had one word to say to that: 'preposterous'. But also part of him was a boy who had grown up with an absent father, and logical or not, he wanted to hear this. The little boy did not dare meet Christian's eyes and so it was with bowed head and his eyes glued to the beer bottles on the table that he silently waited for whatever was coming next.

"I would have had to step away from GEH, permanently, but even if I had to retire I would have remained financially comfortable for the rest of my life. Once I no longer was an active player, the media would have soon lost interest, especially if I moved out of Seattle and away from the west coast. The only person I had discussed this with convinced me to go for a month's trial before I permanently committed to this course of action."

Disbelief finally prompted Teddy to raise his head and search Christian's face for any sign that he was not actually being serious. When they had met in Charlotte, he had heard the man speak about his company and his work and only earlier tonight he had described the birth of a new business venture. There was no doubt about how passionate he was on both those counts.

"GEH was at the time about a tenth of what it is now, so finding a place where I wouldn't immediately be recognized was less difficult. I spent a month in Colorado Springs. The anonymity was a relief although I did have to keep a low profile, so there were some trade-offs, but nothing I had not already considered and there was also a lot of satisfaction and none of the burden of responsibility I was used to carry. I had been thinking about sharing some of my knowledge and experience of the business world and putting that in writing was going to keep me occupied, at least to begin with. By the end of the first week I already had a form of routine doing research in the morning, attending to various necessities in the middle of the day, putting my thoughts on paper in the afternoons and spending the late evenings walking around and discovering the neighbourhood, watching news on TV, making plans for things I wanted to see or do for which I had never had time before.

"Part of my bid to integrate myself into a more domestic lifestyle was to read a local newspaper every day. Being a passive observer, unable do more than shake my head at some of the problems or perhaps consider a small donation to some local charity or social enterprise was a new experience. A little into the second half of this experiment the local headlines were about a commercial development that was about to be shut down, citing a change in economic prospects for the area. Small bits and pieces of information from the previous three weeks and my own observations started to nag at me and I spent that evening looking into the whole thing. The building was part of a rejuvenation plan for that part of the town and the intention was to create additional jobs and an influx of cash from neighbouring communities. The catalogue of bad decisions and mismanagement from several parties was staggering and, at least to me, it was obvious that the current predicament was something both local government and the party who had gained the contract for the development should have been able to anticipate."

Even the distant echo of his frustration had been more than Christian could bear sitting still, so Teddy watched him pace back and forth, although the movement didn't seem to be doing much to dissipate the tension. He finally stopped pacing but remained standing, his spine ramrod straight, shoulders thrown back and his face a mask of determination. Then he drew a breath and let his shoulders fall and his face relax a fraction: "The whole project was about to fall through. I couldn't pretend I didn't see the consequences and I couldn't pretend I didn't know how to prevent or how to fix it. To be forced to stand by and watch the train wreck for that particular project and for a swell of other problems was making me angry, frustrated, bitter… Not the person I wanted to be. Maybe with time I could have forced myself to let all of that go and turn a blind eye, but I wouldn't have liked that person very much either. It was more likely I would have eventually intervened. If not then or the next time, then the time after that, and it would have been game over for pretending I was anybody else than who I am."

Stood in front of Teddy was now the man he had seen at graduation: feet slightly apart, his body erect and his head held high, confident and determined, neither apologizing nor asking for permission to be who he was.

"This was about four months after I had found you. I had enough measures in place to ensure I will never lose track of you again. Where you were, you were free to come and go, to do whatever you wanted. You wouldn't have all the comforts and luxuries I could provide, but I could ensure you didn't really want for anything. I had observed you and you seemed happy. I could always step in if that were to change. For you there was a choice, and I chose to remain in the background."

He had heard this before, but he had not then known this man the way he did now, and so Teddy only considered for a couple of seconds before he asked: "A few years ago dad was worried about his job, but…Marty's Service and Repair was never in any real danger, was it?"

"No, it wasn't."

"Why? I mean, I had already moved on to college and I am about to move even further away. It's not as if my future depended on him keeping his job."

"Perhaps not, but they are your family."

He will never know how his life would have been had Christian come forward sooner, but he had had a good life. Right or wrong, he had come to accept that Christian's decision had at least come from good intentions. '_It is what it is'_. It was time to let this go.

"Elliot mentioned he was going to be on the East coast in a couple of weeks. He offered to take me around Boston if I could take the time off."

Christian nodded: "He told me. Are you going to take him up on the offer?"

"I told him I'll let him know."

"You two seemed to get along well. Is there something specific that makes you hesitate?"

Light with the weight of the decision finally lifted from his shoulders, Teddy admitted: "He's not my father."

xXx

A short drive away Grace Trevelyan Grey was getting ready to call it a day. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she reached out and picked up the framed portrait of her husband from the night stand, to once again stare into the gaze of the man who had shared her life, her dreams, her hopes, her worries, the heartaches and the joys, the good times and the troubled ones.

"God, Carry, where do I begin? Meeting Teddy was…" Grace took a deep breath. "Too many things to put into words just yet," she admitted, "but it was also so much like seeing Christian struggle with all his feelings again. The boy is torn and puts a very brave face on it. Christian was watching him like a hawk. I think Elliot pulled him to the side a few times to give Teddy some space. I never thought Elliot would be the one to help make this day easier, but he was just what everybody needed. Even his silly jokes and constantly aggravating Christian helped.

"Seeing Anastasia yesterday and Teddy today… To hear her side of the story, it does sound like Christian might have been right in some of what he has always maintained about her. I told her I would think about it, and I do, but I don't know if I can ever truly forgive her, not for taking Teddy from all of us and especially from Christian. I can't talk to Christian about it without getting upset or upsetting him, and now Elliot won't talk to me about her and Christian either.

"Teddy must have seen her pictures at Christian's. Christian is not making any mystery of how he feels about her. His favourite colour is blue and there was no doubt in anybody's mind at that table why that was so. The last thing that young man needs is to have to deal with whatever is still going on between those two. I'm not a fool. I know that he still loves her and she could barely speak his name, but whether they like it or not, she is married to another man and Teddy is already torn between Dan and Christian, between the family he knows and this one.

"Katherine was not here today. I have not seen her since she practically ran out of the house on Christian's birthday. I wondered then and I have been wondering more since I heard Ana's story. How could she not know we wanted to talk to her when Katherine was visiting her and speaking with her? Granted it was a difficult time in Katherine's life as well with the pregnancy and her father and having to take over running the company, but I can't believe she never mentioned how worried we were, how much we wanted to speak with Ana and see Teddy.

"Christian must know this as well, Carry. We never told him why we couldn't believe him when he defended Ana and now I'm glad we didn't. If Christian figures out Katherine was part of what kept him and Ana apart…"

Grace remained silent for a long moment. If her suspicions ever turned out to be true, Christian' wrath might not be the worst Elliot's wife would have to endure. Despite the effort to get herself back under control, her voice was still humming with tension when she again voiced her thoughts:

"Mia was beside herself that she couldn't be here to meet Teddy and she has no idea about most of this. When she finds out we have all known about the boy for all these years and never told her, I don't know what she'll do. Christian said he spoke with her before coming here, but I doubt he told her everything. There are too many secrets, too much we don't know about each other, too much we don't dare share with each other. This family needs to heal, Carry. And Teddy needs his parents. All three of them."

xXx

Once Ava got out of the car and shut the door without as much as a glance in his direction, Elliot found himself driving around Seattle with no real destination in mind. He was not ready to go home and face Kate and drinking was not the solution. When he realized he had mechanically driven to Grey Constructions, he parked in his reserved spot and made his way to his office.

"_I have a son. You have a brother I have kept from you and your mother. His name is Matthew and he is fourteen."_

He had made his daughter cry and she had shut him out and asked him to take her to a friend's house.

"_I'll talk to you when I talk to you, all right?"_

She was angry and hurt and had rejected him and he had no choice but to give her some time and space. Theirs however was one relationship he was not going to give up on, if he had to crawl on his hands and knees to open up the dialogue between them again. Or put up with her anger and her disappointment in him.

"_So, he…what? Was happy to see you once a month? Does he know about me and mom?"_

She had barely listened to his attempt to reply and just asked him to deposit her somewhere where she didn't have to be with him. Ava couldn't face coming home tonight and it was all on him.

But it was finally out. Kate knew and Ava knew. It wasn't music he was going to have to face, it was a deafening cacophony of painful accusations, but it was high time for him to face that: their accusations and his own guilty feelings, towards them and towards Matt.

_Kate was five months pregnant and forced to adapt to the fact that there was a life growing inside of her. Her wardrobe had changed and their social life was reduced to obligations, as she could neither drink nor dance. She was still working but had started to work from home a little more, leaving later in the mornings or coming home earlier in the evenings. And then their world took a tumble from which they never really recovered._

_He had returned home after a few days on a business trip to an endless stream of questions from an obviously worried Grace. Ana was in Montesano and not replying to anybody's messages and Christian, who had said he was going on a weeklong business trip, was apparently living at Escala and only communicating with them via Taylor. Tired and exasperated he had turned to Kate for an explanation. His 'What the fuck is going on with Ana and my brother?' was met with a 'Perhaps you should ask your brother.' That had been one of many fights they had had about Christian. Kate had consistently refused to share with him, or his parents, whatever she knew about what had caused Ana to pull away from all of them. 'She needs some time and space and doesn't want to talk to anybody right now.'_

_Neither of them could quite believe that of the Ana they knew and so Grace and Carrick had gone to Montesano, only to be turned away by Ray who confirmed what Kate had already told them._

_Somewhere in the middle of that month Donald had announced that he was taking a leave of absence from Kavanagh Media. First privately and then officially he had admitted to a drug addiction and committed himself to rehab. And Kate had stepped up to cover for her father._

_That had been a major fight and he had regretted the way he had handled that situation ever since. Kate and him had only been together for a little over three years and he was one of the few people who had been allowed a glimpse underneath the hard, self-assured, devil-may-dare, tough exterior she presented to the world. He knew about her fears and her insecurities, yet not even he knew how she dealt with heartache and grief. Kate had closed herself off to him and poured herself into running the business. Ignoring his pleas and only paying lip service to the doctor's advice, despite her advancing pregnancy she was working 12 hour days, five, sometimes six days a week. To make everything worse each time Christian and Ana came up she was dropping hints about Christian's behaviour and passionately defending her friend._

_By early December he was so pissed at her he had not even considered questioning Carrick when he asked that he didn't share with Kate the truth about Christian's whereabouts. The combination of her dedication to her work despite her husband's wishes and medical advice and her open dislike of Christian had alienated her from the family. To this day Kate had no idea that far from being on an extended vacation, Christian had spent three months in a mental institution, or that Carrick's distant attitude in the months surrounding Ava's birthday had nothing to do with her and everything to do with the fact that he had lost half a billion of Christian's money while trying to manage GEH. _

At the first major hurdle in their marriage he had sided with his family.

_Grace had walked into that room at Escala the same week Ava was born. While she came to terms with what she now knew of her younger son's private life, she had embraced her cool, professional attitude and kept all of them at arm's length. The most he had been able to tell Kate to explain his parents' apparent frostiness towards her and their new born daughter was some vague reassurance that it was not about her, that they were worried about Christian. Not an explanation that would endear them to her. _

Despite the fact that once he had become aware of Christian's predilection for BDSM, he had privately had to admit that Kate's instincts about his brother had been right, he had again chosen to keep his brother's confidence.

_They did have a few good months, when things had seemed to settle down. Kate was actively avoiding Christian and Christian was avoiding all of them. When he was attending the occasional dinner at Bellevue it was at Grace's insistence and he never stayed beyond the meal. Out of the blue at the end of May they all got invited at Escala to meet Marlene and to be told that they had gotten married. The only other time they met his new wife before Samantha's birth was at his mandatory birthday dinner at Bellevue. _

_By then he and Kate were once again facing their own problems. Despite Ava only being four months old, Kate had informed him she was going back to work and had to go on a business trip. If he had to choose one point at which their marriage had taken an irreversible turn for the worse it was that trip. If before Ava's birth Kate had the excuse of the trauma of her father's revelations and the need to take care of the Kavanagh business to ignore his wishes, in the months that followed he had started to feel as if he was just not important enough in her life. Between her work, spending time with Ava and her mother, and their social obligations, Kate and Elliot time had been relegated to stolen moments here and there. _

_Kate was still smarting from both the older Greys having been too distracted by their worry over Christian to shower her and Ava with the same level of attention Ana and Teddy had received, and her returning to work didn't improve the situation: where Ana had been easy going and always available whenever any of them wanted to spend time with Teddy, Kate was busy and expected them to make time on her own schedule, much the same as she expected from him. _

_Samantha's birth made things even worse. Both with Marlene and with Samantha Christian was polite, effective, attentive to their needs, but remained distant and…cold. Worried about the apparent lack of interest Christian showed for his daughter, Grace was jumping on any opportunity to see Samantha, even if only for a few minutes and sometimes that meant choosing her youngest granddaughter over Ava. Trying to explain to Kate that this was motivated by worry, not by a difference in how much she lived her granddaughters, proved futile._

_In September they had planned a trip to Europe. To see Mia, but also to have some time for themselves, to try and find their way back to each other. That trip had gone well. Once they had established that Kate was not willing to discuss anything Ana or Christian related, she and Mia spent time together and with Mia positively gushing over Ava, it seemed that Kate had at least one friend in the Grey clan._

_Once they returned to Seattle they gradually settled in the routine that was going to become the norm in his and Kate's marriage. They were both busy, but while he could come home after his work day and just enjoy a few hours of home life, her position required her to have a presence on the social circuit. Charity dinners, galas, journalistic conventions, he had accompanied her to a string of events while increasingly feeling he was no more than an accessory on her arm. It was on one of those evenings he had met Trish. He was bored out of his mind, tired and frustrated and she provided some entertainment by shamelessly flirting with him. At first he had ignored her efforts but as Kate spent the evening networking, he started to respond. They bumped into each other a week later at another social event_ _and…He knew even then that to give in to that temptation was weak and pathetic, but God damn, it had felt good to feel wanted, desired, to hear someone tell him how good he had made them feel. That was the only time he and Trish they had been together. But there had been other women. Most of them chance encounters leading to one night stands, a few had lasted a little longer._

_He had been completely sincere in telling Kate that none of them had meant anything to him. Not even Mary. _

_Although the attraction for each other had been instant and the project they were working on had forced them into many long hours of closely working together, he had not given into that particular temptation for several months. Their second time together had ended with him spending the night at her apartment, but two days later Mary had informed him in no uncertain terms that what they had done was wrong and had to end. She had left Seattle soon after their break up and cut all contact with him. He knew her departure was because Mary had feelings for him, a warning that somebody was going to eventually get hurt if he continued on that particular path. He might have heeded the warning had it not been for that lunch meeting at GEH in December. _

_In the years since Marlene had left him and Samantha, Christian had grown into his role as a father for his daughter and had obviously dealt with many of his previous issues, resumed engaging with the rest of the family, had been dating for the past eighteen months or so, even had those scars removed. But now Leah, the one woman with whom Christian had seemed to have more than a passing relationship, had also left Seattle and December was a rough month for him anyway, so the family made sure they stayed in contact whether he wanted it or not. _

_That day they were meant to discuss the new formal building Christian wanted at the side of the house. With plans of the property spread over Christian's desk, they were debating some detail or other when he had lifted his gaze from the drawings and frozen mid question, eyes glued to the wall art framing the door to his brother's office. _

_The space that had remained empty for the past five years, ever since Carrick had taken down Ana's pictures while he was at GEH, had now been restored to its former appearance. In the few seconds he had spent gaping at the woman's smiling face, Christian had put on the impassive expression he made whenever he was being stubborn about something and was nailing him with an unnervingly intense stare. '__Not up for discussion, Elliot'__, he had warned. _

_Obviously they had once again been wrong about Christian, although none of them could understand how he could ever want to see Ana again, let alone stare at her face all day._

_That had been the beginning of two, almost three years, in which he had taken his frustration out on the female population of Seattle. While until then he had mostly been a passive recipient of other's attention, he had now taken it upon himself to prove that…In all honesty he was not sure what he had tried to prove: that none of it mattered, that it was all a game, that lust could be used as a weapon…_

_Ava's fifth birthday two months after Ana's pictures had made a reappearance gave them a sort of explanation for the wall art in Christian's office and for another one of his odd behaviours._

_When Luke Sawyer had handed in his resignation a year after Ana's disappearance and Christian had fired the whole team assigned to finding her and Teddy, he had assured Carrick that he would never give up on finding them, but since then whenever the subject came up he would simply leave the room. They had assumed it was because the subject was too difficult for him to discuss._

_That weekend however, Grace had been so upset over the lack of news about Teddy that Christian had caved and admitted he had found him. While he had indeed initially avoided the subject because it was too difficult to discuss, for the past few years he had simply not wanted to have to lie to them. The admission had started a fight between him and his parents that had threatened to rival the one they had had when he had left Harvard. Christian had not only defended Ana's decision to leave Seattle but had presented them with an ultimatum: since grandma Trevelyan was no longer with them, Theo Trevelyan, Grace, Carrick and Eliot were to remain the only ones privy to the secret or he would cut off the stream of information. His relationship with Kate had not improved over the years and they had had to reluctantly agree that Mia would never leave well enough alone. Out of consideration for Christian there were already no pictures of Ana and Teddy on display and he had asked that this remains the case, this time to not revive the questions and curiosity about his son's whereabouts. As to the new pictures, they were welcome to see them at his house any time they wished, but none of them could keep any for themselves._

_Knowing Christian, none of them doubted his resolve, but it didn't stop in particular Carrick and Theo from constantly hounding him about getting his son back. A few months later, during one of those interventions, was the only time he was aware of, that Christian had raised his voice or used a swear word in front of his grandfather. 'He has a family. He is happy. I am not interfering with that and I am not bringing my shit to his door step.'_

_In September that same year Samantha's attempted kidnapping by her own security detail got the family to relent somewhat, then Theo Trevelyan passed away. Christian got his wish to keep Teddy's location a secret and Mia and Kate were never made aware he had found his son._

He could add this to the ever increasing amounts of secrets he had been keeping from Kate.

_Three years later Christian got shot. Between his well-honed reflexes and the quick reaction of his security guy the shooter was down and disarmed in seconds and for security reasons the fact that Christian was actually hit was kept quiet. Kate had clearly been affected by the attempt on Christian's life and had gone out of her way to help keep the media in the dark. He had interpreted this to mean that Kate could see beyond her dislike for Christian and was able to close ranks with the family in times of need. That had finally put a stop to his affairs and for a few years he had really tried to work on their marriage._

_Perhaps it was too little too late, perhaps fate just had other plans for them, or perhaps it was to be his punishment for all the women he had wronged and all the secrets he had kept from his wife, but Kate had been alternating between hot and cold, between making an effort herself and then pulling away. _

_Learning about Matt's existence had shaken him to the core. Mary had only reluctantly accepted financial help from him and had insisted that to make their connection public would only subject Matthew to negative comments. For all the times he had tried to convince Christian to allow the family to have contact with Teddy, he ended up making the same choice and kept Matt's existence a secret…until Grace happened to overhear him talking to Matt the previous Christmas Day. _

_Unlike Christian he was a part of his son's life… sort of. He visited him every month, he tried to be there for his birthdays and various milestones, had taken him and Mary on short vacations, called him in between visits… And he had Kate followed. He had never found a shred of evidence that she had been unfaithful to him. What he did find were Ana and Teddy. _

_That was eight years ago. He had never told Kate about Matt or about knowing she was visiting Ana until Matt and Christian had more or less forced his hand._

Kate and him had allowed a heap of secrets and half-truths to replace trust with increasingly longer moments of silence. Now that he had broken the silence, the words that should have been spoken long ago were like the ripples of an earthquake threatening the foundation on which they had built their lives. A life time of experience with building things had taught him that if the foundation wasn't strong enough, whatever stood on top of it was going to collapse. The choice was between waiting for the inevitable to happen or bringing the construction down in a controlled manner. The first option would leave him with the task of picking through the rubble for anything that might still be salvaged. The second one meant deliberately sacrificing some parts so that others would stand a better chance to remain standing. Either way, there was no guarantee as to the end result until the earthquake passed and the ripples settled.

**AN: There will be a chapter next week, but I will be mostly out of touch until Sunday evening, so if I don't reply to you reviews, please bear with me a couple of days.**


	51. Summer storm Ch48 Home sweet home

**AN: Good morning! This is a chapter I had not really intended to write, at least not this way, but Teddy had other ideas so here it is...Thanks to Laura all traces of British spelling as well as a few other annoyances have been eradicated, so many thanks to her and to all the other who have offered to proof read (but have not drawn the short straw).**

Ch 48 Home sweet home

Ana woke up gasping, a vivid image still lingering in her mind: Dominant Christian, wearing only his jeans, towering over a petite female figure kneeling at his feet. The woman's face remained hidden, but she had no doubt that it was her. This wasn't a memory of their time together; this was Christian's alter ego, the part of him he had attempted to tame for her sake.

A shuddering breath was not quite enough to fill her lungs with air, but the effort proved sufficient to return her awareness to the here and now, to the guest bedroom in the small house in Rock Hill. She had not had that particular dream in years, and she knew exactly what had brought it on this time: against her better judgment, she had caved to feelings of guilt and Elliot's arguments and had accepted Christian's offer of a private jet for her return flight.

'Rebecca', the stewardess, had given her a quick tour: there was no bedroom, but the chairs could be reclined in what she was assured would be comfortable bedding, and her privacy was ensured by the staff - consisting solely of the smiling younger woman - having their own seating area between the galley and the cockpit. At the back of the main cabin was a bathroom which included a shower, and that is where her belongings had been delivered. With an apology that she had had too little time to shop for anything better than what the airport boutiques had to offer, Rebecca had indicated a white terry bathrobe and on top of that, neatly folded, a dark blue silk pyjama set. The bathroom had also been stocked with jasmine scented soap, shower gel, shampoo, and conditioner.

During take-off, Rebecca had asked permission to sit next to her, citing the fact that there were just the two of them on the plane.

She had not dared use the silk creation. She had showered, as quickly as she could, and, enveloped in the bathrobe, had slept through the whole flight. In the morning, she had managed to hold herself together until she said her goodbyes to the friendly stewardess and while the golf-cart like contraption took her to her car.

She could pretend that she had slept because she had had a long day or because she had had several drinks or because of the combination of the two, but she had been tired before, and she had had drinks before, and neither had resulted in such a restful and peaceful sleep. While seated behind the wheel of her Chevrolet, first one then another tear spilled from beneath her closed eyelids. She had eventually given into the sobs and the admission that she had slept because she had felt safe knowing who had arranged all of that for her.

And that was the problem. That was the conflict inside her own mind she had still not resolved. She had come so far as to understand that it wasn't Christian she was afraid of. Chatting with the submissives on the online forum had helped her clarify a few things.

Christian had tried to explain to her that he had not made anyone do anything, that the women were submitting to him - serving him - because they wanted to, but she hadn't really understood until she had heard it from actual submissives. They were literally finding joy and fulfilment in serving their masters, in pleasing them. Once they had discussed and agreed upon limits and preferences for both parts, the Dom was in charge, while the sub's sole goal became to please their Dom. And so any lingering doubt that she could ever fulfil the role of a submissive had been put to rest. Yes, it was a nice feeling to know she had done something to please Dan, and imagining pleasing Christian still took her breath away, but she just couldn't see herself living with that single goal in mind. To her dismay, her feelings about some other aspect of D/s, kink, and BDSM were far less clear cut.

With a groan, she squeezed her eyes shut. Christian would never ask that of her. He would never ask that from any woman who was not willing to give it to him. Angry with herself, she threw off the bedcovers and marched into the bathroom. As hot water poured over her body, she forced her mind into the present.

The trip to Seattle had been meant to help, to give both her and Grace some form of closure. Her actions had forced the rest of the Greys to watch Teddy from a distance, and Grace and Elliot had made it clear that she was no longer part of the family. As painful as that was, it was also fair: she would do whatever she could to help them build a relationship with Teddy and then stay out of their way.

The rest of her morning was as difficult as the start of it. Dan had told her the previous evening about the honest discussion he had had with Emma, and so she had taken advantage of the quiet morning to spend some time with her daughter, to reassure her that no matter what was going to happen next, she and Dan will forever remain her parents and be a part of her life. Emma had needed more than vague reassurances and some her questions just didn't have an immediate answer. The best she had been able to accomplish was to reassure her that they will always be her family, that they will all always be there for her, and then they had moved on to talking about Emma's own dreams and hopes.

And then there was Dan. Not that she could blame him, but he was losing patience.

'_We have both been stuck in our pasts, so maybe it's time to try and let the past be the past and move on,'_ he had said.

When Linda rang the doorbell to pick her up for their gym session, she was so tense the prospect of having something physical to do was more than welcome. She knew she was going to pay the price the following day, but for the next hour and a half, music blaring through her headphones, she unleashed all her pent up frustration on the unsuspecting gym equipment. After a second shower, her energy momentarily drained, she and Linda were sitting at a small table by the window of the coffee shop across the street from the gym.

Once they had placed their orders, Linda leaned her head to one side and challenged, "That was quite an impressive display in the gym."

"Sorry," Ana blushed, "I had some things on my mind I needed to work through."

"You don't say." Linda raised an eyebrow then sighed. "Was it that bad, Seattle?"

"No, not really. I don't think Grace will ever forgive me, but I can understand why. At least now she has an explanation for what happened, lame as it is. Elliot was a little less distant, eventually, but he has his own problems, and he had promised Christian he will see me through the day, so I guess he was just putting a better face on it than Grace."

"What do you mean he had promised Christian to see you through the day?"

Ana shook her head. "Just that. I guess I never told you this part, but Christian has been keeping an eye on us. Besides regularly coming to see Eddy, he has ensured we were okay and stepped in a few times when we weren't."

"Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Why unfortunately?"

Ana sighed. "The only proof I have for any of this is the fact that I mentioned some of it to Christian, and he has not denied it. Most of what he has done was for Eddy's benefit: music school and language club, ensuring the house got fixed after the storm, that kind of thing. But he also helped when Emma was in the accident. I am fairly sure it was Christian who paid for her to be entered into that research program, and I'm certain he is the reason why her doctor moved from Boston to Charleston."

"But if he helped with the house…I thought you didn't know he had found you."

Ana sighed. "You didn't move to Rock Hill until the following year, but the insurance company was dragging its feet, and the bank wouldn't lend us money, then a charity stepped in and guaranteed the costs for labor and materials for any houses that needed repairs. Ours was in the first three that benefitted from that help."

"Prosperus," Linda nodded, "they were still involved in a few projects when I started at the bank, and the repayments took quite a while longer. They ended up making a profit and used it for other repairs around town, public spaces and such."

"Posterus. Of course they did end up making a profit. Did I ever tell you what my ex is doing for a living?" Without waiting for an answer to the rhetorical question, Ana asked a new one. "Do you remember what else they helped with?"

"No, not really, I just remember this much because it was unusual for a charity to make money."

"Two of the things they helped restore were the library and Cherry Park. Even if I disregard the fact that the library is where I work, does it strike you as unusual that Cherry Park has so few cherry trees?"

"It does have a few but, yes, it's mostly full of peonies, in all shapes and forms," Linda again nodded. "I thought you liked peonies?"

Almost choking on repressed tears, Ana nodded. "I do - They're my favorite flowers."

"He built you a park?!"

Not yet able to speak, Ana took a deep breath and nodded, then slowly exhaled.

"I think so, and that is what makes me uneasy. The park was for me, not for Teddy. He sponsors the Fourth of July fireworks, and he comes to watch me watch them. He also comes for Eddy's birthdays, but on the 4th, I'm pretty sure he comes for me. You already know about the publishing company he has managed since I left him. The house in which we used to live in Seattle was in my name. Day before yesterday I found out that he has kept it staffed and ready, exactly the way I left it. He doesn't live there. He has just ensured that if I ever wanted or needed to return, I have a home and a job to go back to. He has defended me and my actions in front of his family. He got his brother to keep me company while I was in Seattle, and then he chartered a plane to take me back here so I didn't have to travel commercial alone."

A little wide eyed, Linda stared at her friend. I thought you said he had his own life and was just being discreet about his relationships?"

"He has, and he is. His second marriage failed, and his attempts to date again after that have also failed. That kind of thing just doesn't work for him. But there are women who are happy to…be with him on his terms. It's what he had before he met me."

"You could have fooled me," Linda commented a little absent minded.

"What do you mean?"

"I would say all of this sounds almost…obsessive, but he has known where you were for years and didn't approach you, so maybe I am just paranoid. Then again, this could be the longest apology in the history of men apologizing for being stupid, but you seem to think otherwise, so… what do **you** make of it?"

"Actually, I think you are probably right, on both counts. The way Christian and I parted…it shouldn't have happened that way, but the fact remains that love was no longer enough to keep us together. I think in his mind, he has failed me first, so in a way you are right that this is an apology, and it's obvious he still feels responsible for me. But the reality is that there were two of us in that marriage, and we failed each other. Whatever he chooses to do for Teddy, that is his right and his privilege, but it isn't right for me to continue to accept his help and his care when it comes to just me. Now that he is back in… Eddy's life, we both know we'll have to talk to each other, get some closure. When we do, I have to be strong enough to face him knowing that we cannot be together, and I will have to convince him that I am strong enough to take care of myself so he can let go of me."

Once she had spoken the words, the space suddenly left empty in her chest would not fill regardless of how many breaths she took. It became just another thing she would have to learn to live with.

"It's that what you want?"

"No. But what I want I cannot have. I have run for years trying to avoid hearing him say that we couldn't be together, and it's time to stop and face the truth. Even Dan has noticed. He has hinted a few times, and yesterday he mentioned that he thinks it's time to let go of the past and move on."

"How is Dan?"

"Oh, Linda! He has been nothing but supportive and understanding. He has been great with Eddy, and just what he needed, and I know this must be hard for him. The last thing I want is to hurt Dan, too. If I can be strong enough to let go of Christian, I can be strong enough to be what Dan and our children need."

"And what do you need?"

"It doesn't matter. I have made my choices a long time ago, and I have to live with the consequences. I'll be a mother to my children and a partner for Dan, and I have my job at the library. It will have to be enough."

"Because you can't be what your ex needs or wants from a partner?"

"No, because - ," Ana stopped and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, there was a resolve behind her stare that had not been there before. "I took his son away from him, Linda, and I took a father away from our son."

Linda swallowed a few times before she could articulate. "Belle, sweetie... I don't think it works that way." Wondering how to get her friend to see what was wrong with her plan, she sighed. "What you did, I can understand the guilt and the need to make amends. But the apologies and any amends have to be what the…offended party needs."

"I know. I have already arrived at the conclusion that Grace and Elliot would rather not have me around. I understand that it is their right to not accept my apology or my explanation. And I will not only stay away from Christian but I'll do whatever I can to prove to him that he doesn't have to keep taking care of me."

"And what do you think will take to get Christian to let go of you?"

"He needs to see me strong and confident. I'm working on it."

"I've noticed the change in you, we all have," Linda acknowledged.

"You did?"

"Yes. You…sit up straight, hold you head up higher; you dress differently or perhaps wear your clothes differently. I thought it was just me because I knew all this about you and Christian, but the others have also noticed."

"Then maybe Christian will see it as well."

"Perhaps, but somehow I don't think that it will be enough to get him to let you go."

"Why not? "Ana frowned.

"Because the man who has built you a park and organizes fireworks that are the envy of the county just for you, doesn't just want you to be self-assured, Belle, he wants you to be happy."

"I can do that," Ana nodded.

"By being whatever the children and Dan need of you?"

"Yes. I love my children, and I might not be in love with Dan, but I do care for him."

Despairing of getting her friend to see the light, Linda pulled the last ace out of her sleeve. "And if, once Dan has moved on from his past, what he'll need is more than just 'caring'?

By the time Ana had to return to her home, Linda had also pointed out that she was not under a deadline to choose a course of action and that thanks to Christian's generosity, she actually had options. Now sitting in her car outside the white house with the brown woodwork and the beds of flowers under the windows, she had to admit that there was overwhelming evidence that Christian, Eddy, and Dan all cared about her. With that in mind, her immediate goal will have to be to find out just what they each needed from her and then figure out how to give it to them without making them feel guilty or sorry for whatever it was they needed. That, and how to keep Emma from becoming another casualty of her bad decisions.

xXx

Stepping off what he had learned was the smaller of Christian's two jets and onto the tarmac in Charlotte, then walking to Dan's parked Ford sedan felt disturbingly normal. Eddy and Dan stood by the car, silently watching the jet taxi towards the hangar at the far end. As the noise finally died down, Eddy spoke first.

"Thanks for coming to pick me up, Dad; I know you have work tomorrow."

"Least I could do. Ready to go home?"

The hour long drive was spent discussing what had been going on in their little corner of the world in the past two days. Between a summary of the sports results and the weather prognosis for a storm in the middle of the following week, Eddy also found out that his parents and his sister were going to the Big Apple the following weekend. Soon enough, the car stopped in front of his childhood home. With only the driveway and about ten feet of lawn and flower beds between the road and the porch, the house looked exposed and vulnerable. Instinctively, Teddy's eyes flew to the side mirror where the distant headlights of another car where shining. The car eventually passed them by to continue down the street, but he kept staring after it until Dan shifted in the seat beside him. "Something wrong?"

"No," his first instinct was to reassure his dad, but then he admitted, "There's something I'd like to talk to you about, both you and Mom, in fact, but it can wait."

Dan's reply was lost in the commotion created by Emma barrelling out of the house, down the few steps leading to the driveway and yanking Eddy's door open.

"Eddy!" she shouted then immediately curbed her enthusiasm, "You coming in or what? I'm starving."

The contrast between the two days when everybody kept tiptoeing around him and the abrupt welcome was just too much, and Eddy burst out laughing.

"Hiya, Squirt, missed me, huh?"

"Not at all, and don't call me squirt and stop laughing at me; it's not funny," Emma said all in one breath as she hugged him then took his hand to drag him into the house.

The familiar family room was another welcome sight with everything packed so close together. He didn't actually have to use any of his distance vision to recognize every single object in the room. Then his mother appeared in the doorway between the room and the corridor. Last time he had seen her was at the airport in Seattle while he was still firmly Eddy Parson, and Christian Grey was just an option, a distant 'maybe' in his life.

Whatever she saw as he stood frozen in the middle of the living room halted her approach and dampened some of the light in her eyes, but this time Eddy just couldn't find it in him to regret producing that reaction.

"Hi Eddy, are you hungry? We have kept dinner for you," his mother's voice reached him. The soothing sound only served to disperse the tenuous grasp he had on his emotions, but before he could speak, Emma flexed the fingers of the hand still wrapped around his:

"Eddy, what's wrong?" she asked, looking up.

"Nothing, just tired I guess," he answered, keeping his eyes firmly on his younger sister. "Let me go get a quick shower and change, okay?"

Unable to bear another minute in their presence, he let go of Emma and strode past his mother with a barely audible 'Mom' as his only greeting. Ten minutes later he had showered, changed, and entered the kitchen determined to not spoil the evening for his sister and his dad.

"Thank you for waiting for me," he said, addressing no one in particular as he took his usual seat beside Emma.

"It's not much," Dan warned, "but we all wanted a chance to spend a little time with you."

"Thanks, Dad," Eddy repeated with a little more feeling, as Ana also took her seat to his right, at the end closest to the kitchen counter.

A large bowl of steaming corncobs, cold roasted chicken and thick homemade tomato sauce were on the table and for a moment everybody was busy filling their plates. Before any of them could actually take a bite, Emma could no longer bear the wait and asked: "So how was it, Seattle?"

"Emma, let Eddy eat," Dan gently reminded her.

"No, it's okay," Eddy addressed both of them. "I met Grace Grey, Elliot, and Ava, his daughter. They are really nice people and were very kind and welcoming." His eyes darted to his mother then back to Emma as he added, "Especially Christian's mother. She asked about you, so I told her a little about everybody."

"She asked about me?!" Emma couldn't hide the surprise.

"Mhm," Eddy nodded.

"What did you tell her?"

"That you are my little sister and that you are very talented at what you do…and that you never really walk anywhere, always sprint or jump or pirouette wherever you go."

"You didn't!"

"Did, too."

"Eddy!" Emma whined.

"It's okay, Em. I did tell her that, but I think she liked that about you."

"Oh," Emma looked down to hide her embarrassment and the strange mixture of disappointment and relief that Eddy had not mentioned the one person she was most interested in. But she had waited for this for weeks and as long as she was embarrassed anyway, she took her chances with a more direct question. "And did you meet…Samantha?"

"Yes, I did. She was friendly and has a sense of humor; I think you'd like her."

"So…is she…like your sister now?"

"Well, I don't know yet. You were here first so there's that. Perhaps you could meet her sometime and let me know what you think?"

"Think about what?"

"If you'd be okay with that."

"Are you teasing me now?"

"No, Em, I'm not."

As Emma once again looked away pretending to be occupied with her food, Eddy briefly glanced at his parents, then took the chance to change the subject. "Dad said you're going to New York in a few days?"

By the time Emma had finished sharing with him everything she knew about the Marymount Manhattan College, it was late enough that any other discussions would have to wait, and moments later, they had all retired to their respective rooms for the night.

Unfortunately, knowing that he had to get some sleep didn't mean Eddy was actually able to do so. Whether his eyes were closed or open and staring at the ceiling didn't make much difference. He had too much on his mind, and besides, for him it was not even late evening. When he had tossed and turned enough times that the bed sheets had turned into a loosely twisted length of fabric, he gave up and got out of the bed to go in search of a glass of water or some milk.

Seeing the lone figure sat at the kitchen table hugging a cup of tea almost made him regret coming downstairs, but going back to bed was not an option, so he entered the kitchen and made a bee line for the fridge.

"Eddy. Can I get you anything?"

For the second time that evening, he froze. Slowly and with just a hint of regret he turned to face his mother. Mercifully, the only illumination came from the spotlights under the wall cabinets, making her face barely distinguishable in the shadows.

"Is that how you think of me? As Eddy?"

"Most of the time; yes, I do."

"But that's not my real name, is it?"

It was a small kitchen, and so it only took four steps for him to reach the table, pull out a chair, and sit down facing her.

"I accused Christian of not knowing what to call him. I'll never know what to call him, Mom. We have agreed on Christian, but we both know it's not enough, and I can't call him anything else because that is reserved for Dad. I thought that was hard, but you know what's even harder? I don't know what to call myself anymore."

Ana could see enough of her son to gather it was not grief but anger sharpening the lines of his face. He was not asking for her help; he was informing her of how he felt. Hoping that it was the right choice, that what he needed was the opportunity to voice his anger and his frustration, she refrained from interrupting.

"Does the name Liam McConnell mean anything to you?" Eddy asked.

"Mac? Yes, it does."

"He's just a stranger, mom, paid help. But he was so happy to see me he couldn't speak English anymore. He called me Theodore and now Grace's house keeper does too and the Greys call me Teddy. I don't think I had realized just how much others might have missed me until I saw the joy in a stranger's face. If Mac missed me, how could you think the others wouldn't want me around?"

With a deep breath to calm the trembling of her lips, Ana reminded herself that Eddy had no use for her tears.

"I never understood that part, but all the evidence was pointing that that was the case, and to my eternal regret, I didn't find the courage to confront them or Christian. I let you down when you needed me the most, and I know there is nothing I can do or say that can repair or excuse what I did. I won't ask you to forgive me. I simply hope you will believe how sorry I am for what I did."

Eddy's eyes remained hard and unrelenting while he considered his mother's words. Abruptly, he stood and went back to the fridge to get that glass of milk, but then instead of returning to his seat, he remained by the kitchen window looking over the minuscule patch of land that constituted their back garden.

"When you say you have failed me when you took me away from Seattle, it's like saying Dad has not been good enough for me. I cannot and will not regret having Dad in my life. What I am angry about is that I never knew who I am, where I come from. There were times when I thought there was something wrong with me. That music piece I couldn't find but was always there at the edge of my memory…If Christian hadn't remembered it, if he hadn't been able to give me that missing piece of myself, I would have walked away from him."

Absentmindedly, Eddy emptied the glass of milk then turned around to face his mother again: "You asked me once if I wanted to know about my father, and I told you no. I didn't need to know about another person. I didn't need to know his name or that he loved me. I needed to know why I liked to play the piano, why of all of us, I am the only one who is this driven, this ambitious, this passionate about things. I needed to know which parts of me belonged to my ancestry and which parts belonged to the way I have been raised so I could figure out which parts are mine alone."

Under her stare, he once again turned away, this time to take his glass to the sink. Only when she realized he was about to leave the kitchen did Ana shake off the stunning effect of her son's words. Even with the speed of desperation urging her forward she barely caught up with him before he made his way into the corridor.

"Eddy! Please don't leave. I don't know what to say to all of that. To say I'm sorry doesn't come close. You are Christian Grey's son and have been raised by Dan Parson and what makes you **you** is what you have done with those parts, how you have put them together, regardless of where they came from."

Slowly Eddy found his way to one of the barstools by the counter and half leaned, half-sat on it.

"I used to know that," he admitted, "but now Christian **is** back in my life, and I had no idea how it would feel to see those common traits in somebody else. Not to feel the need to apologize that this," Eddy waved in the general direction of the town beyond the backyard, "is not enough for me, that I want more from life than a good job and a small house with a picket fence, to look at a face and know that this is how I'll look in thirty years, to look at his hands and recognize my fingers and the shape of my nails, it's like coming home. It's like finding out you have a home. And for me, it's the wrong home. I have with somebody else what I should have had with Dad. This weekend… at times it was so overwhelming that I had to push back, check that I could still be me and establish some boundaries."

"You fought with Christian?"

"No, not really. He wouldn't let it go that far, although I rattled him a couple of times. It's more…we never got to arm-wrestle or play ball or race each other, so we don't know where those boundaries are, either. So we compete in a different way. I challenge him, and he challenges me; and we…learn how far and how fast we can push. He also cares about me, a lot. In a way, he has also been a dad, when he could. Then he sent me home in his jet, and Dad saw it. What was I supposed to say? It's okay, Dad; it's just the smaller one? How do I explain that it's just Christian's version of a Ford sedan?"

An audible sigh and the sound of bare feet on the floor warned them of Dan's presence before they could see him.

"You don't need to tell me that, Eddy. You can, however, tell Christian that his version of a Ford sedan needs a very large parking space and is very loud." With that, Dan pulled up his usual chair and sat at the kitchen table, then pointed out, "Kind of late for a talk."

"I couldn't sleep. I just came down for a glass of milk, and Mom was already in the kitchen."

"Eddy," Dan said, while resting his forearms on the table and steepling his fingers, "I can go around this any number of times, but it won't change a thing. The way you found out about your father was wrong, but you did find out, and he is part of your life. I appreciate that you mind how I feel about that, but I'll be here no matter what, okay? Now you said there was something you wanted to talk to us about. It is late, but as long as we are all here, do you want to tell us what's on your mind?"

His heart filled with gratitude for the man who apparently was willing to take on Christian Grey for his sake. Eddy shook his head. "It's nothing that can't wait. Maybe we can talk tomorrow evening?"

"If you're sure."

"Yes, I am. Thanks Dad, and sorry we woke you up."

Dan was the last one to leave the kitchen, having made sure both Belle and Eddy returned to their rooms to try and find some rest. He had only overheard the last two or three sentences of what seemed to have been a heated conversation between Belle and Eddy. He was not going to leave it at that, but tomorrow would come soon enough, and by then, they will all, hopefully, have clearer heads.

**AN: next chapter will tie up most of the loose ends so we can move to the next stage.**


	52. Summer Storm Ch49 Oh Brother

**AN: I can't believe it's almost Christmas, but here it is, full of wrapping paper, mysteriously disappearing rolls of sellotape, glitter dust every-freaking-where, endless to do lists, more Skype and telephone conversations than I probably carry out in a year with people I have not heard from in about as long, enticing smells from home cooked seasonal dishes, colourful lights and most important of all my boys home from Uni. In the middle of all that two of the readers have forwarded me two reviews posted by guest reviewers. Thank you SA and Maxi Brux for your kind words and insight into the story. **

**As much as Teddy took over the previous chapter, somebody else stole this one from me with such determination that I could barely keep up typing...**

Ch 49 Oh Brother!

Everything Teddy had shared with his mother was the literal truth. He was caught between his loyalty to the man who had raised him and whom he saw as his parent and the need to explore the relationship with the man who had given him life and had cared for him from a distance. And equally as powerful as the need to understand his roots, his beginning, was the fear that he would get lost in that relationship and loose himself.

One of the last things he had discussed with Christian before leaving Seattle was his trust fund. Christian had simply asked if he had given the fund anymore thought and his immediate instinct had been to push back, to maintain some independence. Reluctantly, he had admitted that going to Harvard was something he wanted to do by himself, for himself.

"_Teddy, you are doing it." _Christian had reminded him_. "You got into Harvard all by yourself and it will be up to you how well you will succeed in your studies and in your profession. Money and connections can only go so far. But everybody needs help at some point so I hope that you will use some of the money and some of the connections. That first company I bought: it was my business plan and my judgement that it was the right time and the right place, but without help to finance it, it wouldn't have been possible to make it a reality."_

By Tuesday he had made up his mind on how to handle the trust fund and what he had in mind was going to test how much freedom he had in this new relationship.

xXx

Saturday 17th of July

After spending the day in Boston, Teddy and Christian parted ways at Logan International with tentative plans to meet in a fortnight, this time at Christian's house in Aspen.

While waiting for the plane to take off, Christian struggled to maintain an impassive expression in front of his staff. Due to the need to keep their connection private, Teddy had gone alone to the private tour of the University grounds and the campus. As he had shared his impressions over lunch there had been an unmistakable sparkle of excitement in Teddy's eyes. Later that afternoon, while driving and sightseeing around Boston, it was Teddy who had reopened the discussion about his trust fund.

"_I have been thinking about the trust fund. I assume you are still not going to tell me how large it is?"_

"_No, Teddy. Your mother was right. The fund is there to__ help you achieve your dreams, not control or determine them. This is also why there are some conditions attached. The letter you will receive with the first cheque will explain in more detail, but there are things like pursuing an education, a career, staying out of trouble…"Christian raised his eyebrow._

_With a deep breath Teddy nodded: "I think I am going to use the fund from mom for my education and use the $10,000 a month to set up a grant for other students who need financial help."_

_At first careful to hide his surprise under a neutral expression, pride in his son and familiar recognition made his eyes crinkle and his lips stretch with the beginning of a smile, until Teddy's body language registered._

"_You were…hesitant about telling me," he noted, and Teddy's hesitation only confirmed his suspicion._

"_Teddy, I do have hopes and dreams and, yes, expectations for you, but they are for you not from you. You being part of my life and our relationship are not dependent on whether you fulfil those or choose a different path. Your choice for the trust fund did surprise me, although it shouldn't have, but I more than support your decision. If you want, I can put you in touch with someone who takes care of this kind of arrangements for me. Sarah knows about you and she can be very discreet, if that is what you want."_

While the business man in him was tempted to shake his head, the father was beaming with pride and joy: Teddy had accepted his legacy, but on his terms.

"McKenzie!" he summoned his head of security.

"Sir?" the man said as he approached then at his boss's nod sat in the aisle seat.

"I am going to inform Teddy of my plans of relocating to New York. Do you foresee any security complications?"

"No sir, we were trying to keep this from the Seattle press until it was done, but we are prepared for any media backlash. Frankly I am surprised it has not yet leaked."

"What about the New York press?"

"That should be less of a concern, sir."

"Bigger fish to fry?"

"Or simply more of them. We expect some initial interest but mostly on the business side rather than your personal life."

"And once Teddy's connection to me becomes known?"

Suddenly alert, McKenzie straightened up in the plush chair.

"That would change the game somewhat. It will all depend on timing and circumstances. I was under the impression that we are doing everything we can to prevent that from happening."

Christian's eyes turned the colour of storm clouds for a moment then he turned his head away from his head of security to watch the expanse of blue sky outside the window.

"Until two, say three months ago, there were only five family members, me and Ana included, and two non-family members who could link Teddy to me. How many people know now?"

Understanding dawning, Greg nodded as he counted: "The security team in South Carolina and most of your close protection team, thirty two in total. All the Grey family members and of course the Parsons and Miss O'Shea, that is another nine to thirteen depending on how much the Farellis have been told. Director Sawyer and Mrs Parker-Jones, Mr Will, probably, Mr Barnes, almost certainly. Mr Ellis and Dr Shepard might have sufficient information to put two and two together. Fifty or so people, several of which don't have any particular incentive to not disclose the information."

Knowing he had made his point, Christian refrained from commenting on the fact that most of these people had families and friends. Instead he changed tactics: "How did the meeting go?"

Greg knew exactly what meeting Grey was asking about. Once his son had informed his parents that they all had security, Anabelle and Dan Parson had both wanted to be part of the meet-and-greet and Dan Parson had insisted he wanted to speak with him personally. And so Thursday evening he had introduced the Parsons to their escorts for the day and to Alexei Yankovsky, the leader of the South Carolina team. He explained that they will meet the rest of the security members as and when they came on duty and then Dan Parson had asked about the exact setup…

"_Mrs Parson and Mr Edward Parson have someone with them 24/7. Miss Parson has security while she is not with Mrs Parson. Mr Nicholas Parson and you don't have a detail per se, but someone is charged with ensuring that there is no suspicious activity at your places of work and doing background checks on people coming in contact with you."_

"_We are a liability, not an asset," Dan acknowledged._

"_What?" Eddy asked confused._

"_Someone might try to get close to us so they can get to you, but we are not important enough that they would have anything to gain by…"_

"_You are my family!" Eddy interrupted._

"_Yes, Eddy. And one day, when you have the money, we might become 'assets' as well."_

"It went well. Dan Parson seems to be on board and has some understanding of how this might work."

"Why 'seems'?"

"He has lost his first wife to an act of violence, sir. He has stepped down from his career in the police to avoid exposing his family to such incidents. He is on board with the security, just not with the fact that it is needed."

"But he won't be a problem?"

"No, sir. He is very keen that his family should be protected."

"And Ana?"

"Sir?"

"How did she take the news?"

Greg hesitated and as Grey instantly went from casual to stiff and closed off he knew that was a mistake.

"Mrs Parson didn't say much, sir. She greeted everybody and mostly listened to what was being said."

"Did she have any questions?"

This time it took a conscious effort for Greg to refrain from sighing. Sawyer had warned him about this: _'do your job, answer the questions and stay the hell out of their business.'_ However to answer with a simple 'no', while the literal truth, would have also been misleading, so he settled for: 'I believe she refrained from asking any and I have not pressed the issue."

Grey held him with his gaze for several seconds before visibly… relaxing was not the right word, deflating seemed more appropriate.

"Very well. There is one other matter I would like to discuss. Your current contract expires in November and I understand you have declined the offer to head GEH corporate security in Seattle."

The two men spent the rest of the flight engrossed in work with only a brief pause for dinner. For Greg that included perusing a new contract with Grey, one that he had known he would not be able to refuse even before opening the brown envelope with the bundle of paperwork. When Grey wanted something he really knew how to get it. Besides he had to admit it was flattering to know Grey was not only making him a very generous offer, but was also breaking with his own three-years-and-you're-out rule to keep him on for another year, possibly two.

Local time was just after ten pm when they landed in Seattle. As it sometimes does, Fate played a joke on them when Christian's private jet was cleared to land just behind the Delta flight from Charles-de-Gaule, Paris. Unaware of just how close Christian was to her, the tall brunette stood from her set in the business class section and retrieved her hand luggage and then proceeded to stride through the airport and past immigration as quickly as she possibly could. Her jet black hair was tied in a high, sleek, pony tail, and for this trip she had opted for and elegant petrol grey trouser-suit and four inch heels, but what really attracted attention to her person were the large sunglasses she was wearing despite the late hour and the artificial lightning. After one agonizingly long week culminating in a fourteen hours long journey, heart-broken, worried and angrier than she could remember ever being in her life, Mia Farelli, nee Grey, had arrived in Seattle.

xXx

Sunday July 18th

With the temperature in the north American city back to the usual mid sixty degrees, Christian and Samantha had opted to spend the early morning in the shelter of the winter garden. Christian was reading a newspaper, while Samantha was engrossed in a book when his phone buzzed. He only threw an annoyed glance at the inanimate object with no intention to actually read any messages, until he noticed the sender was Elliot: _'On our way. What's going on?'_

'_Good morning Elliot. Who is with you, where are you going and could you be more specific.'_

Not particularly concerned, Christian returned his attention to his newspaper only to be interrupted again a few minutes later. This time Elliot had opted to call and immediately informed him:

"I'm driving and Ava is with me. Mom said to meet her at yours ASAP, she wouldn't say why. So what did you do this time?"

"Me? I just got back in town yesterday evening. She called you not me," Christian pointed out.

"Well, she wants to meet at your place and she had that tone. Anyway half of Seattle is apparently out driving this morning so I'm probably going to be about twenty minutes. Laters."

With that Elliot hung up. Not used to being kept in the dark, Christian only hesitated for a moment before dialling his mother.

"Good morning, Grey residence."

"Good morning Chantelle, this is Christian. Could I please speak with my mother?"

A few seconds later Grace's voice greeted him: "Good morning Christian, I assume Elliot has been in touch?"

"Yes, he has. He said you asked him and Ava to meet with you over here?"

"I did yes. I shall be with you shortly."

"Mom, is everything alright?"

"I am perfectly fine. I was going to call and let you know I'll be coming over but as you are now aware, could I please speak with Samantha?"

Elliot had certainly got one thing right: Grace Grey was on the war path and not taking any prisoners. Listening to one side of a conversation is seldom enlightening, and so Christian waited until his daughter handed the phone back to him.

"Um, Gran says she is coming over to take me and Ava out for the day. She said Ava and Uncle Elliot are on their way here. What's going on?"

Faced with that question for the second time in fifteen minutes, Christian folded his newspaper: "No idea but I expect we are about to find out."

Half amused and half annoyed that his mother could still exercise her authority in this manner over both him and Elliot, he went to prepare for receiving his guests. He was barely done when the gate security called to let him know that Elliot and Ava had just entered the property. Leaving instructions for the team to just let his mother through when she arrived, he went to greet his brother and niece.

Although Ava was now once again sleeping at home, the relationship between her and Elliot had not improved much since the previous week-end. The two brothers watched with symmetrical frowns as she and Samantha disappeared in the music room, but recognizing they were not welcome to join them, they headed to the living room.

"How is Ava?" Christian asked.

"So, so," Elliot admitted then proceeded to bring Christian up to speed with the rest of the news: "I have found a place for Matt and Mary. I thought they could come by next week end and see if they like it."

The two were still engrossed in conversation as their daughters rushed out of the music room and yanked the front door open, signalling Grace Grey had arrived. Instinctively reverting to their teenage selves, they shot each other suspicious looks, each wondering what the other had done to land them in trouble this time. Any questions were however drowned by the high pitched squeals of the girls: "Aunt Mia!"

The only exit from the living room was through the foyer, otherwise one or both might have tried to make an escape. As it were, they had no choice but to face their sister.

"Mia, what a surprise," Elliot chimed putting on his best all- American- home- town- sweetheart winning smile.

"Mimi!" Christian said, assuming his best weapon: the contrite expression few females had ever been able to resist.

"Elliot, Christian," Mia coolly greeted them both, then returned her attention to the other three women: "Have a good day in town. I'll catch up with you later, I promise."

"Uh, Mom, are you not coming in?" Christian made a last bid for some reprieve from what he knew was coming his way.

"No darling," Grace smiled her kind smile. "This is between the three of you. If you want to come for dinner later on, let Chantelle know."

"Thanks, Mom," Elliot murmured while Christian simply swallowed.

"Of course, dear. Come girls; let's give these three some time to catch up, shall we?"

Few things are quite as funny as seeing one's parents in trouble with _their_ parents, and so the girls were beyond mere giggles as they followed Grace out the door.

Once the heavy entrance door closed behind them, the silence in the foyer became a heavy blanket enveloping the three siblings. Against the backdrop of a car engine starting then fading away, Mia's eyes once again filled with tears.

"Mimi!" Christian tried again, and this time took a step towards his sister.

"Don't you dare 'Mimi' me, Christian!" Mia hissed and angrily wiped her tears away then marched past Elliot and into the living room.

She didn't turn around until she had walked half way through the vast space, but when she did all the anger and grief she had bottled inside until now was let loose:

"How could you? Both of you! I am your sister. We are a family. You have kept this, kept all these secrets from me for years? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? Do you have any idea how it made Mom feel? Do either of you ever think of anyone else but yourselves? You have a son nobody knew about? It's a child we are talking about, Elliot, not a….a…construction project. How could you not tell us about him? And what must the poor boy be thinking with none of us ever contacting him, acknowledging his existence? And you," she whirled on Christian, "you found Teddy and didn't tell me? You knew where he was and kept him away from all of us? You stood there holding my daughter and let me name her after you and didn't trust me to know that you had found Teddy? You got everybody else to lie to me? Do you have any idea how hard it has been to watch you play with Alex and Sebastian all these years knowing that you couldn't have that with your own son? Every year when you were leaving Seattle on May 2nd I thought it was because it was too much for you to be here without Teddy. My heart was bleeding for you Christian! And Teddy! God! We are all adopted. We all know how that feels. How could you let your own son go through that? How?"

When Christian engulfed her in his strong arms, Mia was at first powerless to resist. For a long moment the sobs raked her bod, but then she extricated herself from the embrace and firmly pushed him away. As she sat down on one of the couches, Elliot and Christian sat in the armchairs to either side of her. With a shuddering breath she turned to Elliot: "You first."

As Elliot started to explain about Mary and Matt, Christian brought over the tray he had prepared earlier for his guests: water, a pot of coffee, fresh pressed orange juice and glasses and cups. This was going to be a long morning.

He let his brother and sister talk, only half listening to the story he already knew, and spent the time sorting through how he was going to try and get Mia to understand his reasons. Too soon it was his turn.

"I didn't know where they were when Christina was born, but I did find out a couple of weeks later. The first time I travelled to Rock Hill was in April that year."

By the time he had finished going through the various reasons why his ultimate decision had been to leave Teddy to live a carefree life, to not risk breaking apart his new family, the coffee and half the water were gone. And he still had to explain about the secrecy and about knowing that Mia would not allow his decision to stand.

"I don't understand why I was the only one left out."

"Because I have a hard time saying no to you and this would have been a lifelong battle between us, Mia. It took Samantha almost being kidnapped to get the rest of the family to back off about getting Teddy back in my life. What would have taken to get you to accept that his pictures and the videos don't leave this house?"

"You have videos?"

"Yes."

"Mom said you had that rule, that she didn't have any pictures of him except the one from the graduation. Why couldn't you let her have any pictures of Teddy?"

"The only way I could ensure his life remained private was if I took measures to let the story die. I wanted to be able to travel to see him. If the press and others kept wondering and asking questions about him, someone could have followed me and I would have led them straight to him. I can't control what Mom does in her house or who she allows in her private space and so anything related to Teddy remained here, where I can control who has access to that information."

Then came the tale of why he had now stepped out of the shadows and of rebuilding a relationship with Teddy. This time there were more tears from Mia, but there were also a few tentative smiles.

"I want to see the pictures and the videos, and I want to meet Matt," Mia informed both her brothers.

"Mia, Matt and Mary are a package deal," Elliot warned.

"She knew you were married," Mia protested.

"Yes, and so did I. Mary is the one who took the initiative to break up our relationship and moved away and never tried to contact me again."

"Are you a…couple?" Mia dared voice the question she had refrained from asking earlier.

"No. But I meant what I said. If the rest of the family meets her and gives her the cold shoulder it will drive her and Matt away. I don't expect anybody to befriend her, just to be civil."

"What about Kate?"

"How about we have some lunch?" Christian interrupted.

Christian looked about ready to snap. As she had at least one more thing she wanted to discuss and needed him to…cooperate, Mia agreed to a temporary cease fire.

Despite the novelty of the three of them having to help put subs and a salad together, and most of the discussion consisting of news about Mia's family, lunch was a subdued affair. Whether it was the closeness of working together to prepare their meal, the change of topic or the delicious white wine Christian had offered with the food, they were all more relaxed as they returned to the living room.

This time Christian sat on the couch next to Mia, and for a few minutes they allowed themselves to just be the Grey siblings on a rare lazy Sunday afternoon. In a quiet voice, Mia eventually broke the silence.

"Mom said Ana was in town."

The line of Christian's shoulders immediately straightened, but otherwise he just carefully put down his glass of wine and half turned to watch his sister.

"She says Ana didn't know that Mom and Dad - or you - tried to contact her. Ana told her that she had tried to contact all of you but her father had cut off the communication between her and the family."

"That is correct."

"How is that possible? Even if it is true, you were all here. It's not that long a drive from Montesano to Seattle."

"That blade cuts both ways, Mia. I know mom and dad went to see her, but they took Ray's word that she didn't want to speak with them and I didn't even do that. I never tried to see her."

"Christian, whatever happened between you and Ana, maybe it's not my business, but she took Teddy away from you. What can possibly justify that?"

Even Christian Grey had a breaking point and faced with the question he had avoided discussing with his family for years brought him to that point. Abruptly he stood and moved behind the group of furniture to glower at his sister.

"Do you have any idea how it feels like to be the outsider looking in, wanting to fit in and knowing that you are not good enough, not worthy of that? What do you think would have happened to me if Mom and Dad had shut me out the first time Elliot and I had a fight?"

Stunned by his outburst his siblings stared at him.

"I have stood by and allowed all of you to judge her because everybody had enough to deal with as it were, but this has to stop. We left her alone. I left her alone. I knew how insecure she still was. I knew she doubted whether she was what I needed from a wife and we had had a rough year. And when faced with a real crisis I was too caught up feeling sorry for myself to go after her. You insist she could have come to you, but how would she know that? Everybody kept telling her how grateful you were for what she had done for me, how grateful you were for Teddy. Essentially she was my wife and the mother of my son. How many times have any of you told her you appreciated her for her? I'm not pointing a finger, Mia, but you all have to stop insisting that she should have known she could come to you. Ana had no reason to believe that once she no longer was my wife - the miracle that had brought me into the fold of the family – any of you would have any inclination to give her the time of the day. She was twenty four and besides that sorry excuse of a mother, all she had left were Ray and Teddy, and from her angle it didn't look like any of us gave a damn about any of them. It doesn't mean she was right in taking Teddy away, but I can't pretend that I don't know what she was going through or that I haven't put her in that position."

"Christian you are not an outsider!" Mia shouted her distress at the painful reminder of how Christian used to feel around the family.

"I have gotten past that a while ago, Mia, but it took me thirty years to do so, and Mom and you have constantly been by my side no matter what I did. Ana only had three years and the first time we had a fight all the evidence pointed that we had shut her out."

"Bro," Elliot started, but was interrupted when Mia, her voice full of wonder, noted: "You are still in love with her."

"Yes," Christian replied with such certainty that there was no doubt in Mia's mind she would have a better chance persuading a mountain to move a little to the right than to get this man to reconsider.

As abruptly as he had stood up, Christian sat back down.

"So what happens now, I mean with Teddy back here. Does he know how you feel about…his mother? Does Ana know?"

"Teddy knows. He has seen her pictures and…some other things. I don't know how much Ana knows."

"You have pictures of Ana?"

Christian's expression didn't change; it was Elliot suddenly dropping his head until his chin almost hit his chest that alerted Mia.

"You might as well show her, Christian."

Moments later they were in Christian's home office - a space Mia had previously expertly been manipulated away from - and she was taking in the stylish room. When her eyes landed on the shelves with the framed pictures, her feet automatically moved in that direction. While Elliot plopped down in one of the armchairs by the door, Christian stood beside Mia much like he had done when Teddy first came into this room.

"He plays the piano?" Mia finally asked, her voice choked by tears.

"Yes and he is very good, almost as good as I am."

Turning her eyes way from the inanimate objects, Mia whispered: "He looks so much like you!"

What she had meant to do was turn to Elliot and ask if he had any pictures of Matt, but in the process her eyes fell on the portraits framing the door. Once again Christian gave his sister the moment she needed to take in the fact of Ana's portraits hanging on the wall.

"Christian," Mia frowned then hesitated unsure which one of her myriad of questions to ask first. Hesitantly she decided on: "Samantha must have seen these. Mom told me she knows about all of this but…"

"How long are you staying?" Christian abruptly interrupted.

"Well, since Sam has cancelled her birthday trip, until after her birthday. Paul and the children will come on the 22nd. Why?"

"You have my word that before the end of the summer you will have an answer to all your questions, but can we leave it here for today?"

"Why do I get a feeling that I am not going to like whatever you are still keeping from me?"

"I don't know if you will like it or not, Mia. Probably not. But in the meantime would you please trust me that I have, and still am doing, what I think is best for the family? The whole family."

Unsettled but understanding that she might have to give her questions a rest, Mia sought a compromise.

"Okay, but…can I stay here until Paul comes? No more questions," she quickly added as Christian tensed up at her proposal. "For now," she warned. "But I seem to have a whole bunch of photos and family videos to catch up on and you won't let me take them with me so…"

"Uh, Mia, it's going to get a bit noisy around here at least during the day." Elliot informed her.

"What do you mean?"

"Christian wants another bedroom and bathroom upstairs. We're starting Monday with a new ceiling over the living room and then building on top of that. It's going to take about three weeks."

"Well, it still doesn't seem like I have a lot of choice," Mia answered after a moment. "So can I stay?"

"Yes, Mimi, of course you can stay. But you'll have to tell Mom," Christian added.

"Speaking of which…"Elliot brought their attention over to him. "What you said about wanting to meet Mary and Matt, I know Mom wants to meet Matt, but do you think she'll agree to meet Mary? I realize Sunday dinners are out of the question, but perhaps if I arrange for something in a…neutral place?"

Leaving Christian's side, Mia went to sit by her other brother.

"I don't know Elliot. I'll try to find out. But for the actual meeting it will have to be you who asks her."

"I know. Not looking forward to that, but it's important to Matt. He'll never accept the rest of the family if we're shutting out his mother."

Sitting in the armchair, Mia looked from one brother to the other and back again. She had tried to keep things separate and keep some form of order in her thoughts, but this seemed to be less of an option with every new thing she learned. And right now, despite Ana's pictures dominating the wall beside her, there was someone else whose shadow loomed increasingly larger over all of this.

"I just got in town yesterday evening and today I came straight here," she explained, still looking form the one to the other, "but I'll have to call Kate at some point."

"She knows about Matt," Elliot reassured her.

"And she knows I have found Ana and Teddy," Christian quipped from where he stood leaning against his desk, arms crossed over his chest.

Resisting the increasingly powerful urge to take her brothers' heads and bang them against each other until some common sense fell into their brains, Mia pursed her lips.

"You have dodged my question earlier and I have promised to not ask any more questions for now, but unless you want me to ask her directly, one of you better explain this part to me: how could Ana believe Mom didn't want to talk to her when she was talking to Kate?"

Christian just stood there, his head bowed to avoid looking at either of his siblings, so it was left to Elliot to explain: "I don't think she ever told Ana about that. She never really answered my question but she didn't deny it."

The lack of reaction from Christian spoke volumes, so Mia couldn't help but ask: "You knew about this?"

"Yes. If Ana had not wanted to see or talk to Grace she would have found a polite way to tell her that. It was not like her to just ignore Mom. So she either never got any message or was prevented from replying."

"But either way, Kate could have…" Abruptly, realizing just what she was about to spell out, Mia stopped.

"Katherine is Elliot's wife and Ava's mother and the main fault lies with me anyway. **I** was Ana's husband. **I** should have gone to her. Now can we leave it at that?"

"So we just forgive and move on?"

For a brief moment there was something feral about Christian, a flash of something lethal extinguished as quickly as it had appeared, but the glimpse they had got before the mask of impassivity fell back into place was enough to propel Elliot to his feet.

"Bro, that's my family man," he pleaded before he even realised his reaction was one of pure fear.

The fingers of one hand raking through his hair and his eyes squeezed shut, Christian growled: "I know Elliot."

As his reasoning powers slowly returned, Elliot was embarrassed at his veiled accusation. Yet he knew he hadn't, entirely, over reacted.

"Christian, if there is something I should know…I would rather know now," he said, not quite sure of what exactly he was asking.

"Christian?" Mia dared call her brother back from wherever that flash of anger had taken him.

His question obviously meant for Elliot, his apologetic look was firmly locked on his sister, when Christian asked: "How aware are you of your wife's financial position, the corporate part?"

"I'm not, it's her business, why should I…"

In present company it didn't take a genius to figure out where Christian was going with this and it dawned on Elliot that Christian might have found the worst possible punishment for a woman as proud as Kate. If this affected her business, it would not only hurt her feelings but she would suffer in silence and alone, unwilling to admit failure and unable to ask for help.

"Kavanagh Media is now a quarter of what it was when Katherine took over from her father. I will not permit it to grow again, but, for now, I am no longer ensuring its eventual demise."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bonus paragraph: Sarah's story

Sarah was the kind but not very capable secretary Christian had inherited when he had bought his very first company, and technically the person who had been on his payroll the longest.

At the end of his first year running the small retail business, as his head was swimming with plans for his next acquisition, she had interrupted one of his marathon sessions of pouring over financials to ask him if he would consider a donation for a local homeless shelter. He had soon discovered that the woman he had kept around mostly because he had been too busy to hire a replacement had a heart of gold, always donating her time and more than she should have out of her meagre income to some local charity. To her astonishment he had donated $100 to the shelter and entrusted her with using another $1000 for whatever good causes she saw fit.

Several months later it was his turn to be surprised when she had presented him with an account of not only how she had used the money but why she had chosen each cause and each amount. Once the second acquisition was completed, he had other personnel, far better qualified, to perform the secretarial duties he required, but Sarah had remained the person managing his private donations.

To remain anonymous and in the shadows had been her only request and had proven invaluable in being able to discreetly investigate, set up and follow-up on his private charity work, the part that was independent from GEH. The people who now worked for her occupied three floors of a down town Seattle office building, however Sarah herself remained just a name and an email address and most of them would have been surprised to find out that the middle aged lady in non-descript clothing occasionally running errands through the building was actually the person calling the shots...

**AN: next chapter will have to be back to Rock Hill and tying up loose ends there, as that part didn't make it into this one. As to when it will be posted, regretfully I can't promise it will be up for Boxing Day. More than at any other time, for the next couple of weeks my family will have to come first.**


	53. Summer Storm Ch50 Ripple Effects

**AN A Belated Happy New Year to you all! Apologies for the delay in posting this, the explanations are various and boring with possibly only one relevant to you, which is the fact that my life has changed a lot since I have started writing this story. As a consequence my writing time is going to be more fragmented for a while yet. Case in point I post this at 5.30 am because I now have to work at least part of the weekend. Unfortunately that means I will probably not be able to stick to a regular Saturday update for a while.**

**Somebody asked about the updated first chapters: ch 1-6 are now updated. Also at a reader request Ch 49 has gained a short bonus section at the end with Sarah's story.**

**B characters in this chapter: Dr Renner is Christian's current therapist**

**And uh, this was meant to happen mostly in Rock Hill, but the Grey brothers had a few things on their minds...**

Ch 50 Ripple effects

By Thursday, all three Grey siblings were worse for the wear. On this midweek morning, Elliot, still residing in the guest bedroom of his Seattle home, was the first one to give up on the pretence of sleep.

Sunday afternoon, once Mia had gone to spend some time with Grace and the girls, he had asked Christian about Kavanagh Media. The surprising answer had once again showed him just how little any of them really knew about Christian, about his motivations and his work. The cold and detached explanation was still ringing in his ears:

'_I was in Rock Hill for Teddy's fifth birthday, and so was Katherine. She has known where he was before I did. Whether to be a part of his life or not, was my decision to make, not hers. And so, yes, I am the reason behind the slow decline of Kavanagh Media. A blocked opportunity here, a competitor getting the upper hand there, a top journalist or other executive suddenly relocating, declined loans, creditors unwilling to renegotiate…'_

'_Christian, not even your money can give you that kind of influence,' he had naively protested._

He had been wrong. With a determination bordering on anger, Christian had explained:

'_Sixteen years ago, when I found Teddy, I had a decision to make. I quickly realized that I couldn't be anyone else but who I am, but_ _I didn't give up having Teddy in my life so I could make another million, or billion for that matter. I will admit that most of what I am about to show you didn't exist back then. This kind of thing was more a spur of the moment activity when I became aware of certain types of situations. Since then however…'_

From his computer Christian had brought up a map of GEH on the wall-to-wall screen covering the left side of his office, then kept adding to it: suppliers and partners and their partners and suppliers, societies he belonged to, people who, for various reasons, wanted or needed his favour or good will…Then in a chilling voice had informed him: '_I abhor charities. I abhor the fact that they are needed and I despise the fact that the donations are used to enhance the public image of the sponsors. It is however a fact of life that they are needed, and so I donate for food and shelter and clothing and medical care.'_

A number of charities - most of which Elliot had been aware of -joined the rest of the colour-coded dots on the map.

'_As much as a man needs a fish for dinner, they also need to learn how to fish. I have set up a few schools and literacy programmes, but mostly what I am in a position to provide is apprenticeships and internships, with GEH or GEH partners. And, when they are ready, I can provide fishing rods and a river: business advice and support, opportunities to set up, a network to market whatever they are selling and become profitable, leading to more jobs and sources of income.'_

The dots on the map were now far more numerous than the business connections had been and Elliot had never even heard about any of these projects.

'_I don't want the publicity. I don't need it and I prefer to remain a free agent and make decisions based on reality, not political correctness,_' Christian had dismissed his protests, then, clearly rattled, concluded: '_I currently own 11 businesses in Washington State. The other 374 state-wide dots are my local sphere of influence. Sometimes it costs me money to get them to do whatever I want them to do, but as we have already established money is literally no object. Most of the times all it takes is a phone call. You'll have to trust me when I say that few of these would ignore my requests or requests made on my behalf.'_

With the earlier reference to Christian's difficult beginning in their family fresh in mind, despite his cynical comments, it was obvious that the map now packed with tiny dots of light was more than 'a sphere of influence'. One business at a time, one apprenticeship at a time and, again despite his words, one charity donation at a time, he was doing what he could to fight against the kind of abject poverty he had known in his early childhood.

While still reeling from the fact that he had not known all of this about his brother, two days later Grace had forced him to take a hard look at his own situation. Her refusal to meet Mary had been clear and definitive.

'_However Matt came into your life he is your son and he bears no responsibility for his parents' actions. I do want to meet him and if there is anything I can do to help Katherine and Ava accept him as well, I will gladly do it. But to socially interact with Mary would mean further disrespect for your wife and the family you have with her. If Mary is the person you portray her to be, I am sure she will understand.'_

xXx

Grace Grey was actually unhappy with how both her sons had handled their marriages. Christian having another man's wife's pictures on his wall didn't sit well with her either, but at least he had refrained from pursuing the woman in question. As it turns out, albeit for very different reasons, Christian had also come to question the presence of at least some of those pictures.

Like most days, at exactly 6.15 am he was done stretching and had started pounding the rubber of the treadmill in his basement. Instead of the day ahead though, his thoughts were still preoccupied with his session with Renner the previous evening.

'_I have been considering removing Ana's pictures from my bedroom.'_

'_Just the bedroom?'_

'_Yes, just the bedroom.'_

'_Why?'_

Despite the many years he had been in and out of therapy, he was still reluctant to allow anybody such an intimate view of his inner world. In Renner he had found someone who seemed to understand and accept that, and more often than not the doctor was simply allowing him to use his room as a time-out of sorts, only asking a question if it was needed in order to focus his attention on a particular aspect of his life. It was a place where he could just be, without the responsibilities he usually carried and without the need to keep other people's interests in mind. That tactic was however not going to help him with the increasing levels of anxiety at the thought of having to face Ana. And so for once he had volunteered more information.

'_I have avoided contacting her.'_

'_That is what we are working on here, to prepare you for that particular meeting.'_

'_Not contacting her in that way. She…was in a security meeting and wouldn't ask any questions.'_

'_Would you like her to ask any?'_

'_Yes and no.'_

'_Mr Grey, you have come to me,' Dr Renner had reminded him._

'_Yes, I would like her to ask the questions. I would like her to trust the team well enough to be able to ask them questions and I would like to know what she is thinking. And no, because I think I know what she wants to know and I can't give her the answers she hopes for.'_

'_But you intend to keep the other pictures, the ones in both your offices.'_

'_Yes.'_

'_What's the difference?'_

'_Isn't it obvious?'_

'_No, not necessarily.'_

'_I work in the office, I sleep in the bedroom.'_

'_So you can still look at her pictures while you work but not when you are in the more intimate setting of your bedroom?'_

He had not really known why Ana's pictures in the bedroom had made him uneasy for the past three days or so, and had actually been relieved to notice that they were still the source of inspiration they had always been while he was in his office. But the way Renner had summarized the situation had felt…wrong.

'_She can still look at me while I work,' he corrected the doctor._

'_Mr Grey, Ana is currently living on the East Coast. She is not looking at you, in the office or the bedroom. As far as I am aware you have actively avoided allowing her to look at you. I recall this specific point was a major source of anxiety before your son's graduation ceremony.'_

'_You know what I mean.'_

_Unrelenting, Renner kept pointing out: 'You are perpetuating the illusion of a relationship.'_

'_It's not an illusion.'_

The answer had come to him in a flash and he didn't need any prompting to formulate the surprising insight into his own behaviour:

'_It was something Elliot said: the mother and the child are a package deal. I never let her go. Not really. I remained in the shadows and continued to take care of her or at least of some of her needs: health, jobs, a roof over their heads, extracurricular activities for the children. I even ensured I can still make her smile.'_

'_And why do you think those actions would make her think less of you?'_

'_I told my brother and sister that she had no way of knowing any of us would still want to interact with her once she no longer was my wife. When I made up my mind on what to do about Teddy, I left her out of it, which in turn has perpetuated that misconception.'_

'_You explained the need for secrecy and your fear that they would disappear again.'_

'_The secrecy is one thing and yes, informing her of what I was doing would have probably, at some point, compromised that. But the moving away part…the only reason Ray Steele got away with it the first time was because I had agreed to remove the security detail. She wasn't going to disappear again, and I think I knew that even then.'_

'_Do you know why you would deny this…insight until now?'_

No amount of running could help him past the realization that in his own way he had maintained control of Ana. As long as she lived in a town the size of Rock Hill he could ensure he had an overall view of her life and that she would make use of the opportunities he provided. Each time she or Dan had faced a problem, he had stepped in and resolved it, effectively removing any opportunity or incentive they might have had to change the way they lived. Renner's follow –up questions were irrelevant. His actions had left her isolated and with one purpose only: to provide a stable and safe environment for Teddy to grow up in.

xXx

In the guest bedroom upstairs Mia was also awake. Her family was due to arrive tonight and so this was the last day she could entirely dedicate to reconnecting with her brothers. The past three days had been emotionally exhausting and bits and pieces of conversations kept floating through her awareness, desperately trying to find a way to fit in with each other into a semblance of sense.

'_That's Teddy's room,'_ Christian had pointed to the other bedroom, the one with the view over the lake, on Sunday evening. At that time she had had no idea what depth of feelings was hidden behind the seemingly mundane explanation.

'_You don't know Christian as well as you think you do, Mia,' _Kate had warned before storming out of the restaurant where they had met for lunch, just after admitting that she had indeed not informed Ana that the Greys were keen to see her and Teddy. Despite almost identical initial reactions of concern when she had asked about that warning, both Grace and Elliot had more or less brushed it off, so she was certain that there was something they were still keeping from her.

Then there was Sam's explanation of what the redesign at Christian's was about, delivered in an isn't-it-obvious tone of voice: '_In case Emma or Nick want to visit, they would be more comfortable if they had their own rooms. Dad also wants Teddy's room to have an en-suite bathroom so all three rooms are getting one_,'

She had spoken with Sam several times during the past few days and learned that the young girl not only had known about Teddy since she was nine or ten, but genuinely thought of him as her brother. She had even met with Ava a few times, enough to establish that she was hurt and more than a little lost to find out she had a brother she had never met and to find out that her father had another family on the side. Then yesterday evening she had had a long talk with Grace which had included the revelation that Christian had not contended himself with just watching Teddy from afar but was behind several of the opportunities his son would have not otherwise had while living in Rock Hill…

Before she could delve further into the seemingly bottomless pit of complications that made up the lives of her brothers, she threw off the covers and got out of bed, steeling herself for her first task of the day: watching the remaining batch of videos, including Teddy's college years.

Three hours later, as on the screen of the library TV the mass of students threw their caps in the air and the last of the videos came to an end, she once again wiped tears off her face, then leaned back in the sofa and closed her eyes. The noises generated by the construction work only vaguely registering, she took a moment to allow her thoughts to settle down.

When she had sat down Monday morning to start watching the movies she had somehow expected to see Teddy the way she remembered him - a toddler, making a nuisance of himself at her wedding – and had barely considered seeing Ana. But instead of the toddler she remembered, the first few images were of a five year old boy, excitedly gesticulating while talking to a man, and she had had to pause the clip to give herself time to take in his new appearance. And then Ana had entered the picture and once again it had taken a moment for her brain to catch up with the fact that the young woman on the screen was her former sister-in-law. More than the short hair and the somewhat baggy, almost ill-fitting clothes, it was the expression on her face and the look in her eyes that had at first made her wonder if this was the same person. Even when she was smiling towards the baby in her arms or watched her son, despite the unmistakable gentleness in her gestures, the shine was gone from her eyes and her features barely changed expression.

To have seen Teddy grow from a happy-go-lucky five year old, to a teenager and finally a young man in the space of three days had been an almost surreal experience. It hadn't taken her long to figure out that the videos followed a pattern: 10-15 minutes long silent clips of Teddy's birthdays and New Year's Eve celebrations, interspersed with clips from school plays, awards, piano recitals, sports events…

When the video of Teddy's first piano demonstration started she had already heard him introduced as Edward Parson several times and so was no longer surprised to see her nephew when the name was called. What had rocked her in that particular clip had been the uncanny resemblance between an intensely serious ten years old Teddy and her memory of Christian, not only at the same age but through most of his childhood. She was trying to remember if she had ever seen Christian quite as happy as Teddy had appeared to be in most of the previous clips, when she realized that she had not been aware Teddy was taking piano lessons. Despite the hours of videos, most of the details and everyday events that eventually shape a person were forever lost to them, never to be recaptured.

Yet little by little, each video adding to her previous knowledge, she had eventually gotten a grasp on Teddy's new family. Her feelings at seeing him time and time again with another man by his side had gone from anger and resentment to the slow realisation that however she felt about that other man, the two obviously shared a bond. The rapport between the three siblings was also not only obvious but something she could relate to. Despite herself, she had begun to see more and more of herself and Elliot and Christian in that other trio.

Once again split between the relief of having in a way reconnected with her nephew and the regret that they had all missed on sharing in his life, she restarted the last video and quickly forwarded it to the part where Christian was handing the diplomas. For some reason it seemed not only as if the circle had been completed but also…symbolic in a way she could not quite place. She was still starring at the frozen frame of the moment when Christian and Teddy shook hands, when the sudden increase of the noise level in the room alerted her that the door to the library was open.

'Hi Mia,' Elliot said then closed the door behind him shutting out the construction noises.

'Elliot! I didn't know you were here.'

'Just making sure everything is going smoothly as I won't be around tomorrow,' Elliot said as he sat down next to her on the couch.

'Are you going somewhere?'

'Yes. I'm taking Kate and Ava to mom's house in Montana. We need some undisturbed family time.'

Having already talked with Elliot several times about his problems, there wasn't much she had to say to that, and so she contended herself to nod in understanding.

'You done watching the videos?'

'Yes. I…'Unable to find a suitable description of her mixed feelings, Mia at first just shook her head, but then figured that perhaps Elliot might be able to shed some light on the latest of her numerous questions. Nodding towards the screen she asked: 'Why did he do that? Why step back into Teddy's life in such a spectacular manner?'

'The explanation Christian gave us was that once he was invited he took the opportunity to shake his son's hand.'

'You don't seem convinced,' Mia noted

'Actually I am. It's just that until Saturday I took his words literally.' At Mia's frown he explained: 'I thought he sort of jumped on the band wagon, that the idea formed in his head when he received the invitation to speak at graduation and he…eventually decided that it was a good thing. But in the past couple of months, certainly since he actually met Teddy I have been wondering, even more so since Sunday.'

'Wondering about what?'

'All we have had until now were these videos of Christian watching from afar and his determination to not bring the dangers associated with his wealth on Teddy's door step. It was the accepted status quo. I even asked him if he misses having Teddy in his life. Then I saw them together. Christian was…I had to take him aside a few times to give the boy some space. He is watching Teddy like…like a man lost in the desert suddenly getting a glimpse of water. It says a lot about Teddy that he not only puts up with that but holds his own. I'm sorry, Mia,' he added when she looked like she was about to cry, 'I'm sure you'll get a chance to meet him.'

Pushing her disappointment away, Mia attempted to get Elliot back on track: 'So what happened Sunday to change your mind?'

'As said, I had already started to wonder if it was quite as coincidental as Christian made it sound. Then while he was defending Ana, he mentioned how you and me and mom have always been by his side. He didn't include dad in that and I think he never really forgave him.'

'I don't understand, what was there to forgive?'

With a deep breath, Elliot asked: 'How much do you remember from the time when Christian dropped out of college to start GEH? Before we knew how well he was doing.'

'I remember Mom and Dad were upset, they were fighting about it. Christian moved out a few days after one of those fights. Other than that, he never talked about his shop, but I did visit it and so did mom.'

'And me. I don't think he ever gave dad the chance.'

'But…dad was just worried. Christian was only twenty and we had no idea how he got the money to buy that shop or how well it was doing. Once dad figured out the business was actually doing well and he could stop worrying, he was incredibly proud of Christian.'

'That's just it Mia. Dad never gave Christian the benefit of the doubt. There was one particular incident, two years after he started his business when he showed up at Coping Together in a brand new Mercedes Sport_'

'Oh, yes. It was the first time I was allowed to participate in the event and dad was so angry he barely spoke with Christian the whole evening. To make it worse he had to fend off several people enquiring about whether Christian had graduated and what plans he had for his future.'

'Yeah, that's the one. Another couple of years later I was out celebrating the first year of Seattle Construction Inc. There was this guy at the bar, can't even remember his name. He had just gotten fired from his job. When he realized I was Christian's brother, he slurred out that two years previously he had missed his own son's graduation because Christian had insisted they sign the contract to buy the company on graduation day. It turns out that while his class at Harvard were receiving their diplomas, our brother was sitting in a board room, signing a million dollars contract. The car he brought at the Coping gala, that was his graduation present, to himself.'

'Oh, God! And dad chewed his head off for borrowing money.'

'I think that whatever explanation Christian is prepared to share with the rest of us for being present at Teddy's graduation, the simple truth is that he wouldn't have let the occasion pass without congratulating his son, no matter what happened down the line.'

'What do you mean?'

Elliot sighed and turned his head to look at the screen for a moment, then said: 'That day, I was wondering how he could stand there and wait for Teddy to reach him, how he could find the strength to let go of his hand, but I think that…He didn't step into Teddy's life, Mia. He might have opened a door, created an opportunity, but he was waiting to see if Teddy would come to him.'

'He has a family,' Mia acknowledged, then paled a little at the memory of her harsh reminder of that fact Sunday evening. 'Damn. Me and my big mouth.'

'It's okay, Mia. Christian knows Teddy has a family.'

Suddenly Mia's hear started beating a frantic drum. At first unsure what she was reacting to, she quickly realized that the fear was not for herself. 'Does he?' is all she could voice, while her heart was once again aching for her brother.

'Of course he does. He has seen them, watched them for years.'

'And yet he is building rooms for all three siblings and keeps Ana's pictures on his walls. The award: Christian is not that interested in literature. That was for her, wasn't it?'

He couldn't betray Ana and Christian's confidence, not even to his sister, and so Eliot knew he couldn't share with her what he had learned from Ana. The lack of denial would have to be confirmation enough. But when it came to Christian, he couldn't help but wonder if he had once again misjudged his brother and his intentions. Christian had to be aware how much his family meant to Teddy. As Mia had put it, they were all adopted; they all knew how that felt. Then again, Mia was the only one with a living biological parent.

'Mia, did you ever…make contact with…'

A shadow passed over Mia's face for a brief moment, then she sighed it away: 'Yeah. It didn't work out.'

Not daring to ask, Elliot just waited until she found the courage to continue: 'It's as mom always told me. She was just a teenager, not quite seventeen by the time I was born. There was a party and…she has no idea who the father was. Had never seen the guy before, never saw him again and doesn't know why he was there. She is married now, has a family. They don't know about me and she would rather keep it that way. We met a couple of times, but there wasn't much in ways of a connection or common ground and then she figured out I was related to Christian,' Mia shrugged.

'Shit Mia, I'm sorry.'

'It's okay Ell, it really is. I even sent her a cheque for a thousand and wished her a happy life. I won't send her any more money and I don't really want or need to see her again. I think it was more the…curiosity, the 'what ifs' that motivated me to contact her to begin with. Now that I know…mom is enough for me, and you and Christian, and of course I have Paul and the children.'

'What about you?' Mia added after a moment. 'Did you ever find out anything about your biological family?'

'Actually I did. I already knew my parents had died in a car crash and I found out that my maternal grandmother was too ill to take care of me, but she did keep in touch until she passed away when I was about seven. I even have a vague memory of her visiting. My mother was an only child and her own father had died while she was a teenager. I found a few more distant relatives but…there really wasn't much they could tell me. I am in touch with a paternal uncle, step-uncle really. He told me that my father was from a previous marriage and ten years older. He never got along with his step-father and eventually fell out with his mother as well. When he died, as much as she grieved her son, raising me was not an option. She had already passed away by the time I tried to make contact. There is a younger step-sister as well, but she barely remembers my father and there was nothing to really connect us so…' Elliot shrugged then concluded: 'Robert is a nice guy and we talk a couple of times a year. He lives in Texas, but I did meet his family and he has met Kate and Ava.'

'How come we never knew this about each other?' Mia wondered, her eyes once again swimming in tears.

'I don't know,' Elliot admitted. 'I didn't go looking for any details until after Ava was born and when I did it didn't seem like there was much to talk about. Both my parents were very young, barely out of college, their lives cut short before they had a chance to actually figure out who they were. How long have you known about your…biological mother?'

'I started looking while I was dating Paul. She figured out about my connection to Christian when it became public knowledge that I was engaged.'

'How did we get into this?' Elliot frowned.

Mia was immediately brought back to the here and now and Christian and Teddy's handshake still burning on the screen.

'Fuck,' Elliot breathed out his own sudden understanding.

'It'll tear him apart,' Mia finally put into words her earlier insight. 'Mom said he is looking up to Christian, that they seem to already have a bond, but he also talked to her about his family and his…dad.'

'Christian won't make him choose, Mia.'

'Perhaps not intentionally, but…he has still not met with Ana and the videos are clearly edited. He couldn't quite cut the rest of the family out of them, but it's obvious he has chosen which parts to keep. I doubt he will be able to keep doing that. As you put it, they are a package deal.' Her breath catching she then added: 'I'm sorry Elliot.'

'What for?'

'What we said about meeting Mary…it seemed right at the time but, if we are to accept Ana and Dan are part of Teddy's life…Mary is as much a part of Matt's. Have you talked to her since?'

'Yes. She and Matt are coming to Seattle next weekend to see the house.'

'It still doesn't feel right to…socialize, but perhaps we can find some compromise, at least become… acquainted with each other.'

It was already early afternoon when Elliot left with a kiss on her head and a murmured 'Thanks Mimi', and it took another couple of hours after that for Mia to sift through the various options. But by four o'clock she had a half formed plan. If she could sell it to Grace…

xXx

As Mia picked up her phone to invite her mother to have dinner with her at Christian's, Ana and Dan were just sitting down in the family room. After dinner Emma had gone upstairs and Teddy had gone out to meet with friends and so they had the downstairs for themselves.

Their weekend trip to New York had gone well, considering. Dan had decided on an apartment rather than a traditional hotel room, with twin beds in the bedroom and a sofa bed for Emma in the living room. With Linda's warning still fresh in mind, Ana had to admit that sharing a room with Dan was about as intimate as she could be with him without it feeling…wrong. For the first time in maybe years she stole a few moments, when he was otherwise preoccupied, to look at her husband, really look at him, and try to sort out her own feelings for him. Without a doubt she was fond of him, and grateful. She could not deny that they had shared an intimacy beyond that of friendship and companionship and yet…

The evening before the security meeting, she was lost in such thoughts when the sound of Dan's voice had made her raise her eyes. It had taken a couple of seconds before she had registered that he had been calling her name…to which she had not responded. Under Dan's stare she had felt the heat of embarrassment bring a flush to her cheeks, then he had simply moved on to ask if she was still okay with him picking her up from work for the drive to Charlotte.

During the meeting, an unapologetic McKenzie had been almost brutally honest. Like Teddy, she had been taken by surprise and angered that Nick and Dan didn't seem to warrant the same level of protection as the rest of them. In the next moment the realization that nobody in that room, not even Teddy, had questioned the fact that _she_ was an asset had hit her and then Dan had pointed out the part about Teddy one day being the one who was rich. There had been no if in that sentence. The look on her son's face had been the main reason she had refrained from asking any questions, opting to allow him and Dan to ask theirs and the meeting to come to an end. She had a fairly good idea of what the answers would have been anyway, but Teddy…

Between her and Dan they had managed to put things into a bit of perspective for him, pointing out that the only difference was that now they were aware of the security that had been there anyway, and that none of this was his fault or his responsibility. Slightly apologetic, Dan had explained that he had only pointed out what the future might bring to ensure they made an informed decision, but that for every celebrity and public figure that made up the articles in Emma's pile of magazines there were dozens who lived their lives in peace and in private. If having a security detail was what was required, then they will learn how to handle that. Of course they all knew it was not quite as simple, but Teddy had seemed to relax a little and they had agreed that while they will inform Nick of this latest development, they were going to wait to tell Emma until it became necessary for her to know.

Emma was what she and Dan needed to discuss this evening. On the way to New York and during the first evening when Dan had taken them for a walk down Broadway, she had been bright eyed and enthusiastic. Despite the subject still being uncomfortable, Emma had even asked if she had been to New York before and she had had to admit that Christian used to have an apartment in Manhattan. To walk with Emma and Dan by the imposing entrance of 2211 Broadway had been yet another one of those falling-through-the-looking-glass moments…But then after the day spent at the Marymount College Emma had grown increasingly quiet. Sunday she had seemed to have bounced back a little and seemed to enjoy the trip to the Statue of Liberty and the couple of hours they had spent in Central Park, only to once again fall quiet and remain pensive on the way home.

Then yesterday they had all three gone to Charleston to meet with the plastic surgeon and they had learned the reason behind Emma's uncharacteristic mood: the visit to New York had convinced her that she was simply not good enough to apply for the prestigious college. Her heart at first aching then gradually filling with pride at her daughter's courage, she had heard Emma's plan to overcome this setback: go ahead with the surgery and train as much as she could during the next school year, then the following year apply for one of the residential preparatory courses the college offered to give herself a chance to improve, hopefully enough to pass the rigorous entrance examinations for the actual undergraduate programme.

For now that meant that through the following year Emma was going to be in and out of hospital with fresh surgical wounds needing attention in between…

'She's a strong girl, Belle, she'll get through this,' Dan said as he sat down in his armchair.

'I know, I just wish she didn't have to.'

Dan opened his mouth as if to say something then closed it without speaking and leaned back until his head and shoulders rested against the fabric of the backrest.

'Marty wants me to run the new office in Charlotte when it opens in the spring. I was going to talk to you about it anyway but with Emma's decision to go ahead with the operation…If I agree I would have to spend more time in Charlotte, setting things up, making sure we are ready to open in February or March.'

Aware of Dan's reluctance to take on the responsibilities of a management position, Ana carefully asked: 'Is this something you would like to do?'

'I have been considering it,' Dan nodded then shifted forward to lessen the distance between them. 'You and I, Belle, as much as I don't want this to end, we are not the same people anymore. I don't hold it against you, but I don't know if I am prepared to go on the way we are now.'

'Dan, I'm sorry, I just…' About to embark on another round of excuses and what even to her ears had started to sound like empty promises, Ana stopped herself. Perhaps it was time to face this, face what was going on between her and Dan. With a deep breath she changed tracks: 'I wish it were different and I do miss what we had, but you are right, I don't think we can go back…that I can go back to how things were…before.'

Apparently she had made the right choice, because Dan stood up and moved to sit next to her then took her hand in his: 'I know, okay? We'll figure it out. For now we need to get Emma through the next year.'

'Thank you,' Ana expressed her gratitude. Before she could continue, Dan once again spoke: 'I'll let Marty know that I can't commit to travelling back and forth and that I might need to take some time off during the year. He'll be disappointed but he'll understand.'

'You don't have to do that. You need to be there to do your job, I don't. Not as much as you do anyway. I'll let the board members know what's going on and they can make a decision at the meeting on the 2nd, but either way I'll be here for Emma. There will be times when she'll need both of us, but I can take the other times.'

'Belle, I know Marty won't fire me but you could lose your job.'

'It's possible, but…even if you are not in Charlotte you still have to be in the office every day. We discussed this last time. At least this time we don't have to worry…'

'About the money,' Dan finished her sentence then added: 'Your work means something to you, Belle, and it's not like there are many other opportunities like that if you lose this one.'

'Dan_' Ana started hesitantly, 'you know that you don't have to do that anymore if you don't want to?'

'Do what?'

'Work. At least the job you are doing now. It sounded like you liked the idea of setting up the new shop but if you don't…' she shrugged.

'No,' Dan immediately replied. 'I can live with the benefits our children are getting because they'll get opportunities I never had and I will always be grateful for what he did for Emma, but I can stand on my own two feet.'

'Then let me take the time off work. If they fire me then they fire me. I have volunteered before and I can still campaign for my projects and I have a few ideas that I might be able to work on if I'm not bound by a board. I'll need some advice and it'll probably take some time…' Ana left her sentence unfinished as she noticed Dan looking at her with some expression she couldn't quite read. 'Sorry I got carried away. But what I mean is it won't be a disaster if I lose my job.'

'Belle, I've found a way around most of what has happened to us in the past three months or so, but this, this is something I don't know how to deal with,' Dan admitted. 'It doesn't feel right to keep you from using all that money and there's no way I can ever provide you or the children with that. But for me this,' he said indicating the family room, 'is enough. It's something I'm comfortable with and proud of and it's just…enough.'

As the two found themselves finally openly discussing the issue of Ana's new found wealth, they quickly established that neither of them was interested in radically changing their life style. Reluctantly Dan had to admit that while they had not been struggling financially, not for many years, there were thing they had postponed or compromised on. In the end reason and trust won and a compromise was reached: Dan got a say in how much money they would spend and on what and Ana got to feel like she could at least materially compensate for all the turmoil she had brought into all their lives.

With some of their immediate concerns appeased, they soon resumed their usual evening routine: Dan watching news and sports on TV and Ana reading in the corner armchair. When her phone alerted her of an incoming message she was lost in a 1976 translation of Brothers Karamazov, the quintessential book on the conflict between faith and doubt. Zosima's words to Fyodor –'Above all, do not lie to yourself. A man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point where he does not discern any truth either in himself or anywhere around him'- are still filing her mind as she stares, at first uncomprehending, at the message. _Christian: 'I might need a favour. May I call you?'_

**AN Definitely staying in Rock Hill for the next one.**


	54. Summer Storm Ch51 The point of no return

**AN Apologies for the delay but this was just not ready yesterday. To all of you on the East Coast, my thoughts are with you. I hope you are safe and have been spared the worst of the weather mayhem.**

**The sentence Teddy quotes in this chapter is from The Notebook.**

Ch 51 The point of no return

Ana stared at the text message for several seconds. Hope, fear, guilt and a deep longing were all of a sudden alive and fighting for her attention and it occurred to her that being honest with herself included figuring out what she wanted to do about these feelings. For now Christian was waiting for an answer…

Closing her book she moved from her armchair to the sofa and wordlessly handed the phone to Dan. As he read the message then returned her phone she explained: "Christian doesn't often ask for favors," hoping it will be enough.

With a curt nod Dan reached out to switch of the TV and said: "I'll be in the kitchen."

"No, Dan, please stay. I don't want any more secrets between us."

Dan didn't seem entirely convinced, but instead of switching it off he contended himself with muting the TV while she sent her short reply back to Christian. Seconds later her phone lit up with an incoming call.

"Hello Christian."

"Ana."

That single word, spoken in that voice, called to her in such an immediate and visceral way that she had to swallow against her suddenly dry mouth and her voice was showing the strain when she quickly prompted: "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes. I…Mia is in Seattle. She was not aware that I had found you and Teddy until a few days ago. She is still angry with me for keeping this from her and now she has asked me for your number. I'm not convinced that she will be able to keep things…separate, so I'll understand if you say no, but I promised I'll ask."

Mia! One more person she had hurt and one more set of painful memories... Despite survival instinct demanding that she run in the opposite direction, this was something she had to deal with.

"It's okay. I need to speak with her too."

"If you are sure, she'll probably call you tonight."

"I'm sure. I have to do this for me as well," Ana admitted.

"Thank you. I know it will at best be a difficult conversation."

Her head suddenly full of all the things she wanted to tell him and once again overcome by the need to apologize to him, Ana hesitated long enough that Christian once again prompted: "You don't have to do this. I only asked because she more or less ambushed me and extracted the promise."

"Yes, I do. It will be okay. Please give her my number and let her know she can call any time."

"Okay, I will," Christian sighed then added:" Thank you."

The moment of silence that followed could not have lasted more than a second or two, but it was enough for Ana to realize that she was clutching the phone as if it were a lifeline, desperate to hang onto this tenuous connection for just a little longer.

"Before I let you go," Christian said, his voice gentler than before, "I also wanted to tell you that you can trust the security team. They will answer any questions you have."

"I do. We all do. It has been helpful meeting them."

"But you didn't ask any questions."

Part of her mind wondering how it was possible that she could simultaneously long for his presence and resent the influence he had on her life, all she could reply was: "It wasn't anything important. I will ask if I think of something."

"They are not spying for me."

That made her sit up straight. Acutely aware of the reason why they were in this situation in the first place, she couldn't bring herself to call him on the obvious lie and settled for pressing her lips tight together while her front creased in a deep frown.

With an audible sigh, Christian admitted: "They used to keep me informed of significant events and emergencies and supplied information on…location when I directly requested it. But they no longer report to me. They report to McKenzie who will only inform me if there is something I really need to know."

"Okay, thank you," Ana said, and immediately cursed herself realizing she had sounded more sad than grateful.

When with of quiet determination Christian added: "They will however always be there, Ana. I hope you understand," she had to hold her breath to fight a sob.

"I do," she said, the words spoken before she could filter them.

Knowing that this was most certainly not the time and place for her to ponder over her reactions, she took a deep breath: "Thank you for telling me all this," she said, managing to put enough strength in her voice to convey sincerity.

"Is there anything else you wanted to ask?" Christian offered.

"Perhaps, a few things," she answered honestly, "but nothing important and I'll ask them if I think I need to know."

"Okay," Christian let out in a long breath. "I'll let Mia know. Thank you for that."

After she finally hung up with Christian, Ana took the time to explain to Dan what the phone call had been about and then went to make herself a cup of tea while summoning her strength for the onslaught that she knew was coming. Even if it weren't for Christian's warning, Mia had never been afflicted with the same sense of decorum Grace Grey had…

When her screen once again lit up announcing an unknown caller, she took the time to sit in one of the chairs by the kitchen table before she hesitantly answered:

"Hello?"

"Ana? It's Mia."

"Hi Mia."

The ensuing silence was so heavy that Ana could feel the weight pressing on her shoulders, and then the voice that had been as hesitant as hers suddenly acquired strength and a raw edge to forcefully ask: "What the hell were you thinking, Ana? Do you have any idea what it did to Christian when you left like that? I can't blame you for leaving him, but how could you take Teddy away from him? And Teddy! I'll never understand how first you then Christian could think he was better off not knowing his father!"

Her feelings still raw from talking to Christian earlier, Mia's by now practically shouted accusations ripped open whatever was left of her defences. The wall she had built around that particular time in her life already cracked from the assaults of the past few months finally crumbled to dust and all of a sudden she was back in Montesano, waking up to the promise of a new day and then to the devastating reality of no security detail in front of the house and no reply from her husband…

"I'm sorry Mia," she gasped, clutching at the present with everything she had. "I know when I left I took Teddy not only from Christian but also from the rest of the family and I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused. I should have had more faith in all of you and I should have stayed and fought for Teddy. That I didn't do either is something I will regret for the rest of my life."

"Kate said she never told you mom wanted to see you and mom and Elliot told me your version, but I don't get it Ana. Why would your father do something like that? Why would he hate us that much?"

Regret evident in her voice, all Ana could tell her was: "He didn't know the truth either. He was told something which wasn't true and he chose to believe it and never shared that with me. I only found out a few weeks ago."

"But you won't tell me what it was?"

"No. I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Kate won't explain herself either but she did warn me that I don't know Christian as well as I think I do. Does _she_ know what this is about?"

"Mia, please. It wasn't true and it was a long time ago. Bringing more blame into the family won't change what happened and it was my fault anyway. Without my insecurity and doubts none of this would have happened."

"I don't know if I can just let it go. There is too much I don't understand and there are still too many secrets. But for now," Mia took a breath and launched into the real reason she had been keen to speak with her former sister in law, "I want to organize a family reunion."

"You…what?"

"I realize this is sudden but I'm not in the US that often and I don't know how long it will be before I'll have another chance to do this. Paul and the children are coming tonight and we'll spend the week in Seattle, but next weekend I want to take them to Montana, to mom's house. She says you have never been there?"

"No, I haven't," Ana admitted.

"I hope you will be able to join us. The house has seven bedrooms but if you would rather stay somewhere else there is a lodge about twenty minutes' walk from the house. It's not much but it's good enough that my friends could stay there when mom and dad were at the house and the prices are…uh, reasonable enough," Mia finally slowed down.

Cold sweat misting over her skin, Ana took advantage of the pause in Mia's tirade to ask: "When you say family reunion…who would be there?"

"Myself and my family, mom, Ava and Samantha almost certainly, Elliot and Matt if they are willing, and Christian. And I would like you to join us. The five of you."

Unbidden tears stung Ana's eyes just as a shiver ran through her. A suspicion wormed itself in her mind and she stammered: "Does Christian know about this?"

"No. I have only discussed it with mom so far but she agrees that it's a good idea and that it's time."

"Grace has agreed to…Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. There is obviously a lot that remains unresolved and perhaps we will never get past some of it, but the fact is that Teddy has two families and we all hope to be a part of his life. I understand it will be uncomfortable for most of us to meet like this and I don't expect we'll have Sunday lunches and summer holidays together any time soon, but for this one time we have to show him that we can all be in the same room, that he doesn't have to choose between us."

Suddenly desperate for air, Ana moved out in the back yard. Leaning against the brick wall and gazing up at the stars, it was more a whish than an affirmation when she said: "It's not up to me Mia, I'll have to ask. But if they agree, I would like for Teddy to be able to reconnect with his family and I'll do anything I can to help. Thank you for offering, and please thank Grace for me as well."

"I will, but you don't have to thank me. We are…were…God damn it Ana," Mia's voice cracked, "we were family!"

It was too much and as her tears finally fell, all Ana could offer was a whispered: "I'm sorry, Mia. I am so, so sorry."

Her own voice hoarse with repressed tears, Mia countered: "Christian says you didn't believe we cared for you other than as his wife and the mother of his child, but you have to know that wasn't true."

Once again Ana refused to glimpse into the black pit of despair of those weeks in Montesano and instead clung to hope when she asked: "He said that?"

"Yes he did and he has said it in a few different ways over the years, I just never new about it."

"Please don't be angry at Christian," Ana pleaded, "he did what he thought was best for everybody."

It was Mia's turn to be reminded of painful experiences, like the fact that Christian had kept his knowledge of Teddy from her. "Why are you defending him?" she asked, hurt and angry.

"You have to know how much he cares about you," Ana again pleaded. "Do you…Did you ask him why he kept this, us, from you?"

Mia heard the plea in Ana's voice and had to admit it tugged at her heart more than Christian's explosive defence of Ana…

As the answer to her own question lurked at the edge of her awareness, another question became too important to put aside any longer. "What happened to the two of you?" she asked, and this time she was the one pleading, although she wasn't sure what she was pleading for.

'_Above all do not lie to yourself'_, the quote from earlier in the evening suddenly took centre stage in Ana's mind, preventing any immediate response from her. She had already come so far in her own quest for that answer as to understand that it wasn't what had happened per se that was the problem. It is how they had dealt with the whole situation that had been wrong. The truth was that she had needed to flee to Montesano to make a choice between two equally bad options – be a stay at home mom or keep fighting Christian over it - either of which would have ended up with one of them resenting the other. She knew why Christian wanted her at home. It might have been irrational, but it was a part of who he was, and they had neither dealt with his anxiety nor had she been able to accommodate it. As to why she was so hell bent on her career…

Before hysteria could completely take over she shared with Mia as much as she could: "We lost track of what really mattered. We got caught up in everyday life and pulled in different directions. Forgot to talk, really talk, to each other and find a compromise. It was, again, mostly my fault, but by the time I left for Montesano we were facing a serious problem and then…we never talked to each other again."

With both women momentarily lost in thought the silence stretched for a few moments until Ana dared break it: "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes, sure."

"Are _you_ happy?"

The two stayed on the phone for quite a while after that, sharing bits of their lives until it was time for Mia to go and pick up her family.

"Come to Montana, let our families meet each other," Mia pleaded one more time.

"I'll try. I'll really try."

xXx

Teddy had managed to keep himself busy in the week since the security meeting. If he wasn't working he was making a real effort to reconnect with some of the friends he had neglected over the past few months and had even taken the time to join a Taekwondo club in Charlotte and go twice. Yet he was restless and as soon as he found himself unoccupied his thoughts returned to his current predicament: Teddy Grey v. Edward Parson. Frustratingly, his only conclusion so far was that as much as he was both, he at the same time was…neither.

After the security meeting it had taken both his parents' combined effort to give him some perspective on the fact that the protective measures were not because of him but because of who his father was. But that begged the question of whether it was right for him to make things worse by openly, publically, acknowledging the connection. The connection he had been hurt that Christian had not acted on sooner…

Christian's ready acceptance of his plan for his trust fund had initially been a relief, but as soon as they had parted last Saturday the relief had turned into doubt. He had effectively rejected the help his father offered, or at the very least turned it into something impersonal.

And now Nick was going to be home for the weekend and their parents wanted to talk to all of them, presumably about Emma, but they also had to tell Nick about the security.

As he was driving home from work early Friday evening, he was anything but ready to face a family weekend. On a whim, instead of staying on the straight road leading to the house, he abruptly made a right turn towards the north part of the town. The parking lot was almost deserted and as soon as he passed the main entrance he head straight to the wall with the names etched on individual plates.

"Gone but never forgotten – Raymond Teal"

For a long time Teddy just sat on the ground, looking up at the engraved square of white stone. The reel of the part of his life which had included this man started turning and images and memories freely flowed: laughter and playing catch, Christmases and birthdays, evenings of story reading when he was younger, his grandfather's face laughing or etched in concern and worry…Then slowly the awareness of another man who had possibly witnessed some of those moments but more likely missed most of them rose to the surface, creating a distance and casting a shadow over those mostly happy memories.

"I need to make a decision or this is going to drive me insane. It has to be my choice this time, but I can't choose between who I was born to be and who I thought I was, so I need to find a way to be both, somehow. I want my father to be a part of my life and I want to be a part of his. I know dad will always be there, no matter what. And then there is mom. I'll never look at her the same way I, but Dad is right: at some point, eventually, I will forgive her. At least she was convinced that he didn't want us anymore. But you knew gramps. You knew he wanted us and you kept that from me and from mom. And so I think that we both know why I have come here today. Maybe one day I'll have the full story of what happened and when I do maybe I'll change my mind, but until then I have come to say good bye. Something has to give gramps. I hope you'll understand. I'll let the others know, probably soon, but I am going to change my name. "

Taking one more moment to search his soul for lingering doubts, he finally found the courage to articulate the idea that had been tormenting him for several days: "Once I figure out how to make this happen, I think that I'll be known as Edward Theodore Parson Grey."

As he spoke his full name for the first time out loud, Teddy regained some sense of balance, of being grounded. The hesitation that had been present in his step on entering the cemetery was gone and his movements were fluid and purposeful when he stood up.

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected," he quoted. "I wish to god it didn't have to be this way gramps," he added. But his decision was made and with nothing more to say he turned around with every intention of never returning to this particular place.

And yet something was still missing and he didn't make it very far before, slightly embarrassed that he had to retrace his steps a couple of times, he eventually found himself standing in front of another familiar stone, this one set in the ground and resting in the shadow of and oak tree.

"I'm sorry I haven't brought any flowers, I hadn't planned on coming here today. I just wanted to…stop by."

Not sure what to say or what he was actually doing there other than the feeling that he couldn't leave the cemetery without stopping by Nick's mom's grave, Teddy just stood for a moment looking at the oak tree. The first time he had seen it, or in any case the oldest memory he had of it, was of a gangly thing with branches growing every each way and not much thicker than the trunk itself. Now standing taller than their house, the canopy thick and dense and the trunk looking solid enough to be able to lean on it, it was a proper tree.

"Thank you for Nick," he said out loud. "He's been –is - a good brother and he is a great guy. He'll be home this weekend and will drive me crazy insisting I stop thinking about things so much and go out and live a little instead. You should know that even if he doesn't have you, Nick has all of us around him. Christian, my father, says that all he ever wanted was for me to be happy even if that meant he couldn't be a part of my life. I'm not sure I agree with that but I am beginning to see some of his point and…Nick and you didn't have a choice. I also wanted to say good bye. Once I'm in Boston I probably won't be in Rock Hill as often and things have already gotten complicated so I don't know when I might be back."

With a final goodbye to Jane, Teddy made his way back to the car then through the small town and to his childhood home. The two parking spots in front of the house were already taken by Nick and Emma's cars, but Dan's car was nowhere in sight. Leaving his car parked on the street he entered the house to be met by the enticing smell of food cooking. But instead of the petite figure of his mother the space between the counter and the stove was occupied by the definitely larger one of his brother.

Taking advantage that Nick had his back turned to the door, he quietly moved to sit behind the counter and quipped: "Hi mom, what's for dinner?"

"Fuck! God damn Eddy!" Nick jumped back from the stove wildly waving a wooden spoon for a second before turning around to face his brother.

"Sorry, couldn't resist. Smells nice. What is it? And why are _you_ cooking?"

"Paella. Mom and dad are going to be late and I'm hungry. And you should get out more, you sound like Emma."

"Oh?" Teddy frowned. "Where are they?"

"No idea," Nick said returning his attention to the stove. "They just texted that they're meeting each other in town and might be a while. Dad said to grab something from the fridge and mom listed every single possible combination of cold cuts and snacks, so I decided to make my own."

Only now remembering he had felt the phone vibrate a couple of times while he was otherwise occupied earlier, Teddy unlocked it to find three text messages. Already knowing what his dad's ws going to say and skipping over most of his mother's lengthy and detailed description of the food options, he swiped to the final text which was from Nick to let him know he had arrived and enquiring where he was.

"Sorry, I was busy and forgot to check the messages."

Lowering the flame until the rice was only softly bubbling, Nick turned around to look at his brother.

"Busy?" he enquired with a glint in his eye.

Rolling his eyes at his brother, Teddy stood from his perch on the bar stool: "Not that kind of busy," he said and started picking up some of the mess on the kitchen counter.

Pitching in on the cleaning job Nick asked: "So what were you up to?"

"Let's clean this up first," Teddy bid for time.

Between the two of them it didn't take long to return the kitchen to its former pristine appearance but then they only had about ten minutes until the food was ready and as he was still wearing his work clothes Teddy disappeared upstairs to change into something more casual. With Emma joining them for dinner, more serious topics of conversation had to wait and the three siblings spent the meal mostly talking about Nick and Eddy's jobs and good naturally teasing each other. When Emma informed them that Mandy and Jenny were due any minute for a 'girls night in', Nick jumped on the occasion to tell his brother: "That's our cue to vacate the premises, bro, unless you want to spend the evening surrounded by giggling teenagers."

"Nick! That's not nice," Emma pouted, "they're my friends."

"And they are lovely, but they do giggle," Teddy chimed in.

The two brothers made it out of the house and to Nick's car just as Mandy's car appeared at the end of the drive way.

"Four o'clock," Teddy warned, "step on it!"

His eyes already on the rear view mirror, Nick clocked the approaching car and pulled out of the drive way in one swift manoeuvre then laughing spun his wheels as he launched them down the street and away from the imminent danger.

"So where are we going?" Teddy asked once their laughter died down.

"El Caribe on Oakland. Know the place?"

"No."

"I know a couple of the guys working there. We can sit outside if it's too crowded."

They were there in under ten minutes but didn't get to a table until Nick finished greeting several people, mostly in Spanish. Eventually even Nick ran out of people he knew at the small venue and cold Mexican beers in hand, they made their way to an outdoor table.

"By all the handshakes I gather '¿te acuerdas de mi hermano?' has something to do with me?" Teddy asked.

"'Do you remember my brother?'", Nick nodded.

"And '¿que tal?'"

"What's up."

"Right. You seem popular."

"They're a mixed bunch. Only Toni and Daniel are real friends but it's considered rude to not say hello to everybody so…" Nick shrugged.

They had actually discussed Nick's Spanish friends often enough during their teenage years that Teddy had at least remembered to not stretch his hand to greet any of the women unless they did so first. Remembering just how he had learned that lesson he shook his head laughter just a breath away.

"What?" Nick asked.

"Remember…what was her name? Mela?"

"Gabriela," Nick answered immediately. "I think Pedro is married to one of her cousins. Want to go back and ask about her?"

Choking on his beer, Teddy blurted: "God, no!"

"Relax bro," Nick laughed. "She's away in North Dakota somewhere, training to be a nurse I think."

"Good to know, thanks."

"She's not yet married though," Nick added and Teddy groaned.

He was sixteen and their parents had made Nick take him to a party. Unaware of social protocol in the Spanish community he had not only stretched out his hand first to the beautiful brunette but had almost immediately invited her to dance. As it turns out she had a boyfriend and a brother who both took exception to his forward behaviour. It turned out that the brother did not much care for the boyfriend, so he made him believe that his simple gesture meant he had asked Gabriela out and before Nick became aware of what was going on he was knee deep in a family dispute, made worse by the fact that the girl had become…infatuated with him.

When the glimmer of amusement passed, Nick put his bottle down on the table and got down to business: "So what's up?"

Having had enough time to consider how much to share with his brother, Teddy quietly admitted: "I stopped by the cemetery on my way home."

"Oh?"

"I needed to…say good bye I suppose."

Surrounded by the evidence of a part of his brother's life he had been aware of but never really shared, guilt feelings wormed their way through Teddy's thoughts and instead of sharing his own problems he tried to focus on his brother: "These past few months it's been all about me and how I feel about…things. I know you said you're okay but if you want to talk about any of it I can also be here for you."

"Eddy," Nick shook his head, "thanks, but there really isn't anything to talk about. I have not forgotten and I don't want to forget that Jane was my mother once, but I've made my peace with that a while ago. I thought you were getting closer to making a decision as well?"

"I think so. I am. But it's not only about me. If – when - this blows up, nothing is ever going to be the same."

"So this is more about who he is than the rest?"

"Yes. Mostly."

Shaking his head Nick murmured mostly to himself 'Christian Grey', and then admitted: "I guess I've come around to the idea that your father might be part of your life, but yeah, to be honest, I'm not quite there with thinking of **that** man as…family."

"Exactly," Teddy pointed out, then looking up and down the street jutted his chin in the general direction of the cars parked on the other side of the street: "The black Chevy sedan, that's my security. Once the secret is out I doubt he'll be content with just sitting in a car across the road. Can you imagine walking in here like we did tonight but with a 6 foot 200+ pounds worth of body guard in tow?"

Nick took a moment to formulate his answer, then slowly shook his head: "No Eddy, maybe not. But maybe it won't have to be that bad or that obvious. And if it is, we'll just have to find somewhere else to go. I'll put on a monkey suit and we'll go to City or the Country Club. Dad told me about the security and I'm not an idiot. I do, we all do, realize that some things would have to change, but…I guess what I'm trying to say is that that's not what matters. What matters is that you are comfortable with who you are."

"Edward Theodore Parson Grey."

"What?"

His gaze on his beer bottle, Teddy explained: "I've been thinking about combining both names. He…Christian calls me Teddy and so does the rest of the family, the Greys. I'm not, entirely, comfortable with that but…" he shrugged away the rest of that sentence.

"Okay, I've not seen that one coming, although I suppose I should have," Nick admitted. "How come…Do they know you're not…comfortable with them calling you that?"

"Christian asked how to introduce me but I had already told him it was okay to call me Teddy and it would have been…strange to go back."

"So you're doing this for him?"

"It's hard to explain Nick. There is a sense of…continuity, I guess, to use that name and while I was there it was pretty obvious that's how everybody thinks about me anyway. But Teddy Grey is who they lost all those years ago and I'm not really that person anymore. Then again he has all those pictures of me in his office. I was looking at them and trying to determine at which point I stopped being Teddy and became Edward and…I can't," Teddy frowned with the effort of trying to articulate his thoughts. "It's still me in all of them, just viewed from a different angle."

"So Edward _Theodore_ _Parson_ Grey," Nick tested out the new name as if he was enumerating something.

"Yeah," Teddy breathed out and took a long pull of the beer bottle he had mainly ignored up until now.

Several minutes passed, enough for both of them to finish their beers and for the air to acquire a slight chill. Eventually it was Nick who broke the silence: "It's gonna take some getting used to but I have to admit it doesn't sound so strange after a while."

At his brother's questioning look Nick explained: "We've always known you had a father…somewhere. But since mom told us about this whole past life we didn't know anything about, part of me has been waiting for the other shoe to drop. As surreal as it was to learn about it, and despite talking about it a few times, we kind of…swiped it under the carpet in a way, pretended to just carry on as if nothing happened. This, you changing your name, makes it real. It's like the other shoe **has** dropped and strangely enough it makes it…better. At least we now know and can move on; deal with it, if that makes sense."

xXx

Saturday morning Teddy woke up in a much better mood than he had in a while…although it only lasted long enough for him to remember that he had decided he was going to talk to his dad about the name change.

Talking to Nick had been helpful in a couple of unexpected ways. For one, any lingering doubts that he might be doing this for Christian had been put to rest. As much as he knew it would make his father happy – and he actually dreaded that reaction even more than sharing his news with his dad – what mattered is that it actually felt right deep inside. He was both Christian and Dan's son and couldn't deny either of them without denying a part of himself.

And then they had, mercifully briefly, gotten onto the uncomfortable subject of their parents' relationship. _'It won't be the same to not see them together, but I'd rather see them happy away from each other than miserable together. I've seen Carol- Ann's family up close and trust me, nothing is worth that.'_

Before he could once again make himself crazy with guilt for something everybody insisted was not his responsibility, he got out of bed and dropped to the floor for his morning routine: 3 sets of twenty push-ups, stretching in between, fifty crunches, fifty leg squats, then stretching again. In just under ten minutes his blood pumping through his body and his skin covered with a fine sheen of sweat he was ready for a shower and the new day ahead.

The first person he met as he came out of his room, freshly groomed and casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, was his mother and he was immediately struck by how…different she looked. There was a sense of purpose, of energy about her he had rarely seen before. He almost cringed as she seemed to slump a little at seeing him, but then she raised her eyes to meet his and smiled her gentle smile: "Good morning Eddy, did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you."

"I think Nick is still sleeping but Dan and Emma are in the kitchen and I'll be downstairs in a moment," she informed him.

"Uh, mom," Teddy said before he was quite certain of what he wanted to tell her.

"Yes?"

Again that gentle smile and their eyes meeting in other than a furtive glance at each other…

"There's something I meant to ask you," he said, and stepped back into his room in a clear invitation for her to follow him.

As he sat on his hastily made bed, she took the chair by his desk and patiently waited for him to speak.

"I meant to ask you how it went in Seattle. Did you get your old name back?"

"I wasn't trying to change my name. I just wanted to be able to prove that I am the same person."

"So how did it go?"

With his mother still holding his gaze he had the distinct impression that she was…assessing him, so he didn't look away.

"The judge would not unseal the file without your permission," she finally admitted.

"Why does he need my permission?" he asked with a slight frown.

"Both our names were changed at the same time, so if he unseals it this would affect you as well."

"Oh yeah, the whole thing will become public record. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you have enough on your mind and this can wait," she answered without a trace of hesitation.

He was lost in thought for a moment, thinking over the implications of what he had just learned, when her voice called him out of his musings. When he once again met her eyes she looked a little sad and guarded as she informed him: "You don't have to do this, Eddy, and you certainly don't need to make a decision right now. Take your time to find out how you really feel about…everything. The judge was right: you need to think of the consequences and be sure you are okay with them."

It was his turn to try and assess her state of mind, but there didn't seem to be anything else hiding behind that hint of sadness and she still looked more…self-assured than she had had in a while, so he informed her: "I think I already have. I have been thinking about this for a couple of weeks and the more I think about it, the more sense it makes." With a deep breath he plunged ahead: "I am considering changing my name from Edward Parson to Edward Theodore Parson Grey."

Her eyes were immediately swimming behind a film of tears and her lips trembled as she hoarsely managed: "Are you sure?"

"Maybe not entirely, but it is who I am," he replied and although he had not intended this to be a confrontation there still was a hard edge at the end of that sentence.

"I'm sorry I have put you in this situation…"

"Go ahead," he picked up on her hesitation, "I might as well get used to it."

"Teddy," Ana whispered and quickly raised a hand to wipe the tear from the corner of her eye, while Teddy just sat motionless on the edge of the bed, time seemingly suspended as they both tried to recover.

With the sudden release of his breath the moment was broken, yet it took another half a dozen heart beats before Ana recovered the power of speech.

"Does he…Do Dan and Christian know?" she gently enquired.

"No. I was going to talk to dad today and I…am not sure when I'll get a chance to tell Christian. I want to talk to dad first but I've made plans to meet with Christian next week so I might tell him then."

He could tell that something was wrong when his mother suddenly looked pained and he could feel himself tense as he became mentally prepared to reject any objection she might have: this was his decision, not hers.

"We were going to tell you later today but Mia, Christian's sister, wants to organize a…family meeting with all the Greys and the five of us, next week, at their mother's house in Montana."

**AN Next chapter will not be next weekend, there is no way my schedule will permit that, but yes, it will be in Montana.**


	55. Summer Storm Ch52 Day of travel

**AN: Ok, this didn't get me/them as far as I thought it would but before you all decide to kill me, please remember you'll then never get to know how this ends...**

**Seriously: there are some pics on pinterest and revised chapters up to ch 9.**

Ch 52 Day of travel

From the moment the Parsons stepped into the airy, open space designed for comfort rather than optimized for mass transportation, they were in a different world. With Dan taking the lead, they approached an area looking like the reception desk in a high end office to be met by the professional smile of a young woman.

"Good evening and welcome to the Wilson Aircentre. How may I help you?" the employee greeted them.

"My name is Dan Parson, I believe there is an airplane waiting for us?"

Her eyes quickly darting over the computer screen, the woman nodded: "Mr Parson, party of five. The jet is being refuelled as we speak, Mr Parson, and is expected to be ready in twenty minutes. Would you prefer to wait in the lounge or would you rather board immediately?"

As this was not a question Dan had ever expected to have to answer, he turned his head towards his wife.

"The lounge will be fine, thank you," Ana replied.

Once they had been informed that the driver of the courtesy van will come and find them when the plane was ready, they chose a group of armchairs to sit in. While the rest of the family launched into a debate about the merits of the terminal, Ana soon left them to go stand by one of the bay windows looking over the airfield. Only moments later Dan joined her and enquired: "Are you okay?"

"Yes, it's just…I'm not sure I actually believed this was going to happen until now."

"It'll be fine, Belle," Dan said, reinforcing his words by wrapping a reassuring arm around her shoulders.

Since their conversation a week ago, she and Dan were once again on the same wavelength and the awkwardness that had dominated their relationship over the past three months was mostly gone. Although they had decided to keep their news from the children until after this weekend, between the two of them they had already agreed that they will soon enough no longer be husband and wife. They will however always be friends and, of course, parents.

"_So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"_ Dan had asked once the waitress had taken their orders the previous Friday evening.

The meeting in the small restaurant in town had been her initiative and one of the results of the night she had spent trying to sort through her feelings, wishes and responsibilities.

"_Us_," she had answered, although she had felt far less assured than she was now, "_and my call with Mia yesterday evening." _

"_Belle,"_ had been Dan's final argument, "_when we met you and I, I wasn't ready to let go of my past with Jane, so I didn't have much to give, and you had let go of so much there wasn't much left of you either. We knew that about each other and we were just what the other needed. But somewhere along the way we have started to heal and the truth is I don't think we can be what the other needs anymore. Now don't go thinking that this is all on you, because it isn't. I hadn't realized it until Eddy's graduation but__," Dan had stumbled, "_I am ready to want more from a relationship. What you and Grey have, what I had with Jane, it's never been like that between us, and it's not something we can make happen or work on. We had a good life, at least I think so, but I don't think that what we have now is enough anymore, for either of us. Yesterday you said you can't go back to how things were before and I agree. I'm thinking maybe we could take this to where we first started instead. What do you think?"_

This was probably the longest speech she had ever heard from Dan and everything he had said had been the literal truth. Despite the sadness and the guilt of failing at yet another marriage, she had already known that to keep Dan trapped into their current relationship wouldn't have been fair to him.

There were a myriad details that would eventually need to be worked out, including the fact that they would probably not be able to live together for much longer and the need to share their decision with the children, but for that evening and the following week they had simply enjoyed the relief of once again knowing where they had each other, of not having to wonder if every look or touch was more than it appeared to be or even possibly unwelcome.

And then, story of her life, she had had to tell him about Mia's idea…

"_You and Grey, can you tell me what's going on there?"_ had been Dan's first question on that subject. Suddenly looking preoccupied, worried even, he had explained: "_I can't make either head or tails of that situation. You almost disappeared in your chair when he looked angry for a moment at Eddy's graduation, but then I saw the two of you in the room at the hospital and whatever it was that was going on, you were certainly not afraid of him. Then again, Ray has seen it fit to hide you and Eddy from Grey, even threatened him. So I have to know: are you in any way in danger from him?"_

Stunned by this unexpected turn she had stammered_: "I thought you were okay with Christian. You encouraged Eddy to meet him, to get to know him_."

"_I don't know Christian," _he had shaken his head."_ What I did know was that_ _Eddy needed to get to know his father. I would always be here if that didn't go well. But if our marriage is to end… I am certain the only reason he didn't touch you -avoided to even come close to you at the hospital -is because I was there."_

"_I am not in danger from Christian. I never was. We were headed for a bad place in our marriage and there was a chance I would have been unhappy, even heartbroken, but that was the extent of it. What dad saw and heard was taken out of context and largely untrue. I have thought about why dad didn't talk to me a great deal, and the more I think about it, the angrier I get. He didn't have the right to make that choice for me. He manipulated me when he isolated me from everybody else and kept Christian's letters from me. I am beyond angry with myself for allowing that to happen, for not fighting for Te…Eddy, if not for myself, but this is on me and Ray, not on Christian."_

Dan had silently looked at her long enough that she had had time to become slightly embarrassed at the passionate defence of her previous husband. Eventually he had nodded and asked: _"So what do you want to do about this meeting?"_

"_I think Eddy needs this. If we can show him that we can get along with each other, be in each other's presence, he won't need to feel as if he is…betraying any of us. But the meeting has to be about Eddy, not about me, or about Christian and me."_

The detail that had escaped Mia's attention but of which she, and probably Christian, would be acutely aware, was that twenty-two years ago, also on a Saturday, July 30th had been their wedding day. What she had not shared with Dan was the feeling that it had to be more than mere coincidence that would bring them together, surrounded by their families, on the exact same day.

Proving just how lucky she was in having him, Dan had not questioned her any further. Making it all about Eddy, he had quietly decided: _"We'll go as a family."_

With all the decisions that were going to be made that evening out of the way, they had made small talk for a while. While discussing jobs and common acquaintances, the awareness grew that going back to friendship was going to present its own challenges. How do you make a fresh start when you have so much history together? She had just told him about discovering the importance of how a book was written, when she was fifteen and the only version of Romeo and Juliet left at the school library was one of an early edition with most of the text in old English, when seemingly out of the blue Dan had asked: _"How was it, growing up in Montesano?"_

They had, through the years, shared childhood memories, both hers and his, and so his question had surprised her, until she had realised that, in light of everything that had happened in the past few months, Dan probably doubted even that part of her life story. And he wasn't entirely wrong. There were things she had never talked about...

"_My early childhood…I don't really have a lot of memories from that time. A few events stand out, but most of them are stories that have been recounted so many times I mostly know them through mom or dad's eyes. In my mind all of it blends into one long sunny summer day. It was Washington, so I know that can't have been the case, "she_ had smiled_, "but that is the general feeling."_

And then, on impulse, she had found herself sharing with Dan the memory of the one day, evening really, that didn't fit that description. She was seven and had already gone to bed, when the increasingly raised voices of her mom and dad had made her come out of her room. Already unsettled, she was hesitantly making her way down the stairs when Carla's words had reached her. No longer muffled by two layers of wall and the distance, the words were clear cut and had imprinted themselves in her mind: _"For God's sake Ray! Anastasia's father died on a firing range! How can you even think of taking her there?"_

Ray and Carla had found her sitting on the steps, God knows how much later. She had been listening to them having it out. Ray was still in the police force and Carla had made no mystery of how much she disliked that fact, how afraid she was that, like Frank, one day he would just not be coming home. That's how she had learned her father's first name…

Carla had never been willing to share any details with her. Other than a picture and the brief synopsis – he had enrolled so he could support his young wife and the baby that was on the way, and then died, barely twenty years old, in an accident the day after she was born – she had never found out much else. There wasn't even a grave to go to: his ashes had been scattered with only a marker placed in the grass to commemorate his short life. The one time she had seen that place was a few years later, and it was Ray who had taken her. To her knowledge Carla never found out about their trip to Wiliamette National Cemetery.

Somewhere in between telling Dan about that day and going home late in the evening, it had occurred to her just how fragmented her life had been. There was no continuity between her birth and her life with Ray and Carla, and then her life had changed so radically when she had met Christian. Eventually she had once again left everything she had built, and all of her dreams, behind, in her flight from Seattle. Each time she had adopted a new life, a new identity, with little if any attention paid to what was left behind. And each time she had allowed somebody else to make that choice, that decision for her.

Anastasia Rose Lambert Steele Grey and Anabelle Teal Parson: she was all of them, all of that. It was way past time to stop trying to ignore part of her past and maybe it wasn't too late to try and lay a claim to her future.

"Thank you, Dan," she said. "Thank you for standing by my side, for being so patient and for doing this today."

"He is my son too, Belle."

_Saturday morning Teddy had asked her to postpone discussing Mia's idea of a family meeting until after he had a chance to talk to Dan. After breakfast the family had scattered to various activities, but Ana was already back home and in the kitchen when him and Dan had returned. The taut look on Dan's face as he took his customary seat by the counter was one she had only seen a handful of times in all the years they had spent together. Knowing that Teddy had probably told him about the name change, she apologized for what felt like a millionth time._

"_I'm sorry Dan."_

"_Why are you sorry? It is who he is. I suppose I'm grateful that he has not chosen one name over the other."_

"_He wouldn't do that, you mean too much to him. You have to know that," she pleaded._

Between her reminders of how much he meant for Teddy and Teddy's almost constant attempts to involve Dan in any decision he made through the week, Dan had eventually relaxed a little, even went so far as to tease her about all the preparations for their two days trip, but this was the first time he had brought the subject up again, and so her look was a little uncertain when she scanned his face.

"I'm all right," he said. "The name change was a hard one to get used to, but Eddy does seem more settled since he has made that decision, and that is all that matters."

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve to have you in our lives."

"You were kind to Nick that first night at the library, and then you put up with listening to me going on and on about my life."

Dan's eyes were gentle and reassuring and not for the first time she wished she could have given him more, but her heart was elsewhere, belonged to another, and so she simply allowed her smile to express her gratitude.

"Mom, do you know which one it is?" Emma raised her voice to make herself heard from her seat.

"Sorry Emma, what do you mean?"

"Which plane is it? Eddy won't tell us."

A look at Teddy confirmed that he was tense and preoccupied. With a quick look behind her, for the first time really noticing the planes, Ana had to admit: "I'm not sure Emma, but it shouldn't be long now. Come over here and we can try and guess?"

With Nick and Teddy joining them they were still making wild guesses and increasingly ridiculous assumptions as to which one of several airplanes was to be their ride, when yet another plane coming into view drew their attention to it. Painted in a white, gray and powder blue gradient, with the GEH logo in a darker shade of gray on the tail and side, their ride had obviously arrived.

"Good evening, sir, ma'am," a young man greeted them as soon as they reached the entrance, and stepped back to allow Dan and Ana to file past him as he repeated his welcome greeting for Nick and Emma.

"Belle, would you prefer the double seats?" Dan asked after a couple of seconds of taking in the space comprised of four individual seats at the front, a group of four armchairs around a table in the middle and a lounge-like area with two armchairs and a couch at the back. Without waiting for her answer he led her to the chairs by the table, only the uncharacteristic stiffness in his movements betraying the fact that his apparent confidence was a show rather than a genuine feeling.

Following behind them, Nick simply sat in one of the chairs at the front, but then Emma got her first glimpse of the interior and her heartfelt 'Wow' as well as her innocent 'Can I sit anywhere?' to the now smiling flight attendant broke the almost sombre mood. Encouraged by the nod and the affirmative response, she simply commented 'Cool,' and sauntered past Nick and past her parents, straight to the couch at the back of the plane.

'Nick, come over here,' she enticed her brother. 'There are two more chairs and we'll be closer to each other so we can talk.'

Whatever Nick might have wanted to say died on his lips as only a couple of steps away from him his brother was greeting the single crew-member with obvious familiarity. As soon as he noticed Nick's gaze, Teddy first diverted his eyes but then straightened his shoulders and challenged: 'C'mon, let's sit with Emma. We can always move if she gets too much.'

'Hey I heard that,' Emma protested but the slight hint of admonition in her tone was bellied by the smile on her lips.

As soon as they were all seated, the flight attendant introduced himself as 'John', gave a brief safety demonstration, then informed them that he will come to take drink orders as soon as they were airborne and that dinner will be served in a little over an hour. With a final 'I am of course at your disposal throughout the flight and the galley is fully stocked should you prefer to help yourselves.'

Teddy had initially been shy and embarrassed at his brother's and sister's teasing, but he had seemed to bounce back as he showed Emma how to rotate the armchair so it was almost facing the couch and then extend the foot rest and incline the backrest until she was almost horizontal. Noticing the new arrangement, 'John', had appeared with a soft blanket and a pillow, causing her to blush while she stammered through her thanks.

"If you tell me he can also read her a bed time story, I'm never flying commercial again," Nick 'threatened' his brother.

After dinner -a three course meal worthy of a high end restaurant - they had found themselves sitting together in the 'lounge' area and Ana had imparted some more knowledge about the people they were going to meet. Once again sheepish, Teddy had warned his siblings that the Greys were calling him Teddy and then Ana had had to admit they were probably going to call her 'Ana' or 'Anastasia'. For the final two hours or so of the flight, Emma reclaimed the couch, deciding it was still the coolest way to travel on an airplane, Ana and Dan spent the time reclining in the armchairs opposite her and Nick and Teddy relocated to the front, engrossed in conversation.

When John reappeared to inform them they were about to land, they were all more relaxed than when they had got onto the plane, and the previous apprehension was mixed with an air of excitement.

The private jet had been a compromise reached between Dan and Christian: Christian would provide transportation while Dan would arrange for their lodging. Mia's suggestion of a reasonably priced accommodation had turned out to be a $150/night hotel. But much as he had teased his wife about 'Keeping up with the Joneses' while she was sorting through clothing, ordering everybody to get haircuts as well as buying them new outfits and taking Emma and herself to a local spa for some pampering, he knew that she was right: first impressions counted and while they could never compete with the kind of wealth the Greys had, there was no reason they should put themselves in a position to feel embarrassed. The Grouse Mountain Lodge was to be their home for the next two nights.

Despite their preparations, arriving in Montana presented them with an immediate challenge: parked about ten feet from the airplane, a Toyota Highlander, Dan's chosen rental vehicle for this weekend, waited for them under the watchful eye of none other but Greg McKenzie. While the three men went ahead to greet Christian's CPO, it was left to Ana to explain his presence to their daughter.

With a sigh she took both Emma's hands in hers to tell her: "You know that Christian is rich and well known. Like most people in his situation he has private security wherever he goes."

"Bodyguards," Emma nodded. "Figures. Uh, why are you telling me that?"

"Well, the man talking to Dan and your brothers right now is his Head of Security, the boss of all his security men."

"Oh," Emma said looking towards the four men. "So…does that mean we'll have bodyguards too? I mean if we are going to be around him?"

"Yes. They usually stay out of the way, but I don't know how things are going to be while we are here and I thought you should know, in case you notice somebody following us around."

Other than the slightly awkward introduction between Emma and McKenzie, the drive to the hotel was uneventful and in just over fifteen minutes they were retrieving their luggage from the trunk and making their way to the entrance. They were almost there when Nick also got a heads-up, albeit a less gentle one.

At the top of the two steps leading to the porch, he had to stop to lace his shoes. As he was crouching by one of the wooden columns supporting the roof, a disembodied voice half-whispered from somewhere on the other side: "Heads up, Charlie-Charlie and the Missus are on the premises. Proceed to lock down, status is green."

With no frame of reference on how to deal with this situation, he quickly raked his brain for anything useful. To his dismay all he could think of was…Game of Thrones - 'The unseen enemy is always the most fearsome'. Still, it was better than nothing. He stood up and with a determined step rounded the column then turned his head in what he hoped would be seen as a casual gesture, to take a look at the other man.

Perhaps it was his sudden appearance, perhaps his glance had not been casual enough, or perhaps, he had to admit, the other guy was actually a professional, because it only took him half a second to make a decision. With a minimal nod he muttered: "Mr Parson."

Nick was still wondering what the hell it was he had overheard, when he entered the lobby. 'Lock down?' – what the hell was that supposed to mean? His eyes landing on the group standing by the reception desk provided an answer to at least one of his questions: whoever that guy was, it was a safe bet to assume that his mother - currently waving him over with a: "Nick, there you are. They need your driver's license for the check in."- was 'the missus.' As for 'Charlie-Charlie'…Eddy was once again just stood there, his serious expression indicating another pep talk would probably be in order.

While he busied himself showing his ID and signing the paperwork, he felt rather than saw his mother tensing next to him. Concerned, he turned to look at her and then followed her gaze towards the back of the room where a tall, elegant lady, about the same age as his mother, was standing, obviously observing them. Then Eddy also turned around and the stranger froze in her spot, her eyes wide and her mouth falling slightly open as she starred at him.

"Mia," his mother found her voice.

Her eyes now darting between Ana and Teddy, Mia found the will to move forward and cross the lobby to join them. Closing her eyes to gather her wits, she then opened them again, locking her gaze with that of the petite woman who had brought so much joy but also so much heartache into their family.

"Eddy, this is Mia, Christian's sister," Ana softly introduced her, "Mia, this is…Teddy."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Farrelli," Teddy reached out his hand.

"Mia. Please call me Mia," Mia said as she held his hand in hers. "Welcome to Montana and thank you for coming," she added her voice slightly cracking.

"I'm glad to be here," Teddy replied.

"Mrs Farrelli, I am Dan Parson and these are Nick and Emma," Dan extended his hand to rescue his son who looked increasingly uncomfortable.

"Of course, I'm sorry. Thank you all for coming. I know it was short notice and it was a long way to travel," Mia said as she greeted the rest of the family. "Please call me Mia. I realize it's late and I won't keep you. I just thought that I should be here to greet you and welcome you to Montana."

Once they had finished shaking hands, Mia informed all of them: "If it's okay with you, I thought that Paul, my husband, and I, and our children will join you for breakfast tomorrow morning and then we can all walk down to the house. My boys are younger than you all but Christina, my daughter, is your age," Mia finished, smiling at Emma.

"Belle?" Dan asked looking at Ana who had remained quiet observing their interaction.

"Of course, sounds like a good idea," she said and quickly looked away again, before Dan could catch on the sadness in her eyes.

"Is nine too early?" Mia asked, this time with a slight hesitation and a quick glance at Ana.

"No, nine will be fine," Dan made the decision for all of them.

Before anybody could add anything else, Nick alerted Dad: "Dad, 8 o'clock."

"Say again?"

"Behind you and slightly to the left," Nick clarified.

Mia and Dan both half turned and the others turned their eyes towards the entrance of the hotel, where Greg McKenzie had appeared. While his expression remained unchanged and parked to neutral, for those familiar with the man the slight thinning of his lips at noticing the attention bestowed on him was a clear sign that he was not best pleased. In three long strides he had joined the group, just in time to hear Dan inform the others: "He said he wanted a word once we're settled in, remember?"

"Mrs Farrelli," McKenzie acknowledged Mia.

"McKenzie? What are you doing here?" Mia challenged. "I thought Christian wasn't coming until tomorrow morning."

It didn't seem possible for the man's spine to straighten any further, and yet somehow he pulled it off.

"If you would follow me," he said, and with a half turn and an extended arm invited all of them to move towards one side of the lobby. Once he deemed they were at a sufficient distance from the receptionist's ears he informed her: "May I please request your cooperation in ensuring that private conversations remain private? It would be in everybody's best interests if Mr Grey's schedule wasn't publicly advertised."

The tension of the past few minutes and her tiredness probably played a part, but to see Mia, still being subjected to lectures from one of Christian's security twenty or so years down the line, was suddenly irresistibly funny, and Ana could not prevent a giggle from escaping. She quickly bit her lip to silence the rest, but it was too late. Mia's eyes landed on her and a sparkle of merriment in her gaze was all the warning anybody got before both started chuckling. With the Parsons smiling in empathy but clearly lost as to what was going on and McKenzie stoically waiting for the fit to pass, it wasn't long before the laughing fit subsided. The two women were still holding each other's gaze when Ana saw the shadow pass over Mia's face and the sparkle die in her eyes as she stood frozen in terror.

"Mia? God Mia, I'm sorry," she said and moved to close the distance between them.

It was enough for Mia's eyes to regain focus and with a tiny shake of her head stave off whatever Ana wanted to say. Yet the flashback had been so powerful Ana couldn't help but softly enquire: "Are you okay?"

As all Mia could muster was a blink, Ana turned to McKenzie: "I'm sorry Mr McKenzie. I think we are all too tired and more than a little…emotional. Please don't take this personally. I assure you we don't take security lightly."

Unsure of what had just happened but certain that Grey would have his ass if anything disturbed this weekend, Greg looked from one woman to the other, then to Dan and the rest of the Parsons and made a decision: "I realize it has been a long day, but I would ask for a few minutes of your time before you retire for the night."

Having regained her composure, Mia also turned to the Parsons: "I should also leave you to settle in. I'll see you at breakfast?"

While the rest of them acquiesced with nods and smiles, Ana moved closer to Dan to ask: "Would you mind taking my bag up for me?" then turned to McKenzie: "Can you please excuse us for a moment?"

Despite having arranged to have this moment alone with Mia, they were just stood looking at each other, with apparently too much to say to put into words.

"God damn it, Ana!" Mia eventually summed it up.

With a sigh Ana admitted: "I could do with a drink."

"Yeah. That was not how I had planned for this to go," Mia said and they were instantly back to the reason why they were stood there in the first place.

"Dan will be back soon and McKenzie looks like he's on a mission but once that is over, would you have drink with me?" Ana asked.

It only took Mia a moment to decide and nod: "They do have strawberry mojitos."

It had been almost twenty years since Ana had had something quite as fancy as a strawberry mojito, but the fact that they both remembered was proof enough of where their mind were.

"Come on, let's find a quiet place to sit down or McKenzie will have a fit," Mia took charge.

They had barely sat down in a group of armchairs in the lobby that was slowly filling up with people returning from a Friday night out and not ready to call it a day, when not only Dan but Nick, Teddy and Emma were making their way towards them. In one of those 'i-can-make-things-happen-out-of-thin-air' move, McKenzie gathered everybody and stirred them towards and then behind the massive fire place where a low table surrounded by a couch and two armchairs was apparently just waiting for them. Then two slightly burly men appeared carrying two more wicker chairs, deposited them by the table with a smart 'Sir,' and a nod at their boss, before stepping back and amazingly enough managing to blend into the rest of the population.

Uncertain of her role here, Mia had remained a little to the side, but then McKenzie offered: "You might as well hear this too Mrs Farrelli, if you would like to stay."

By then Ana had reverted to mum-mode and was softly talking to a wide-eyed Emma.

"Come sit next to me and we can hear what Mr McKenzie needs to tell us together."

"Uh, sure. What's going on? Dad was going to come downstairs all by himself but then he changed his mind and got me to come with him."

"Well, he's probably right," Ana said with a look at Dan. "It's better if you hear this at the same time as the rest of us so you can ask any questions if you have any."

Having patiently waited until they were all seated and the youngest of the group reassured, McKenzie launched into his speech, but Mia's attention kept drifting from his words and onto the young man sat to her left. Watching him in those videos was nothing compared to actually meeting him in person. While he didn't have Christian's electrifying presence, there was a certain familiar intensity about him. Unlike the videos where he was mostly happy, tonight he seemed tense, contained, focused. With a pang of guilt she wondered if she had done the right thing forcing this meeting. Had Christian been right that this might end up just pointing out the fact that he was part of two worlds? Her brother had made no mystery of the fact that he had only agreed to this because Ana thought it was a good idea…

Her eyes moving away from Teddy and sweeping over the rest of the family, she grew increasingly aware of their interaction: a glance here and there, a subtle nod or shake of the head, the way they confirmed with each other whatever new instructions McKenzie was delivering…

"What you have heard earlier, Mr Parson, simply means that the team has instructions as to who may or may not approach any of you and when to interfere in such an event. It also means that at present time we don't have any particular concerns…"

As all the Parsons turned their eyes on Nick in a silent question, he simply shrugged. With one more glance at him Dan turned his attention back to McKenzie, Ana placed a protective arm around Emma and Teddy frowned. It was obvious that they had tabled the matter for later…when they were in private. This simple show of unity hammered the point home more than anything else: they were a family.

"Unless you have any questions?

Belatedly Mia refocused on McKenzie, in time to see him try to catch her eye.

"Regarding tomorrow's breakfast meeting, the Wine Room is the private dining area of this hotel. It has been reserved for your use from nine am tomorrow morning and will remain at your disposal until you leave on Sunday."

Cursing herself for having missed most of the meeting, Mia shook her head. She didn't want to cause more trouble, so with a rueful smile to let them know she wasn't upset, just…resigned, she explained: "They wouldn't let **me** reserve it, even just for breakfast."

"I might have called in a favour," McKenzie admitted with a finality that indicated he would rather not delve into the subject any further.

With Christian's man gone and while Ana and Dan were talking to Emma, Mia turned towards where Nick and Teddy were standing.

"Mrs Farrelli," Nick acknowledged her.

"Is there anything I can say to convince you to call me Mia?" she smiled at the young man.

"Mia," the young man nodded.

Then Mia turned to her nephew and finally found the courage to ask: "I never asked how you would prefer for me to call you?"

After a quick sideways glance to his brother, Teddy turned back to her: "Teddy is fine. Everybody already calls me that, so…" he shrugged.

"So I understand, but I wasn't sure this is what you prefer."

Mia was already tall and with her wearing heels they were eye to eye: another person to include in his life, another relationship to acknowledge…Yet the time to choose whether he wanted to be a part of that or not was a ship that had already sailed. As of now this just…was.

"It's okay," he said as some of the tension left him, "the name has been kind of growing on me." Then on a whim he added: "Aunt Mia."

Shocked, Mia quickly diverted her eyes before she dissolved into a blubbering mass of emotions. Unfortunately that only made her aware of the other members of the family, who were observing their exchange. Her gaze connecting to Ana she waved a hand in Teddy's general direction: "He…He just…" Dropping her hand as she regained her composure she 'confessed': "I think he did that on purpose."

**AN: Next chapter in a fortnight, will go through Friday night and part of Saturday.**


	56. Summer Storm Ch53 Night of counsel

**AN: As I will be away tomorrow it was either post this tonight or post this tomorrow night, so here it is, half a day early...This is a very long chapter, but there was no other natural conclusion to it and besides I do need to get on with the Saturday meeting. Bad news: no this is not the meeting. Better news: the next chapter is the first part of the meeting. **

**The quote in this chapter is from Following the Equator by Mark Twain.**

Ch 53 Night of counsel

The somewhat stunned reaction from his family was all the confirmation Teddy needed that his growing concern had been well founded. In a bid to put each other at ease before this weekend, they had lost track of a vital piece of information: the people they kept referring to as 'the Greys' or by their individual names, were his aunt and uncle, cousins, grandmother…Still, as he walked besides the rest of his family towards their respective rooms, he wished he had made his point less abruptly.

By unspoken agreement they all headed for the room Dan and Ana were going to share with Emma. The 'corner suite' had a living room area, however the couch had been turned into a bed for Emma and so they all remained standing in the middle of the little remaining space.

"I'm sorry Em," he addressed his sister, "I didn't know how else to bring that up before tomorrow."

"She is your aunt," Emma flatly acknowledged.

Raking the fingers of one hand through his hair, Teddy fumbled for an answer.

"Technically. I mean…I've just met her so I don't really know her but…yes."

"Is this how it's going to be tomorrow?" Emma asked.

"Pretty much, yes."

With a sigh, Emma admitted: "I did sort of know this, I just didn't really think about it. I guess they are all your family now."

"No, Em. Mom and Dad and Nick and you are my family," he said, finally including the rest of them, while trying to articulate something he was still figuring out for himself. "Maybe, if tomorrow goes well, they can be a part of that too. But besides Christian and maybe Samantha, anybody else is just… an optional extra."

Moments later Dan and Emma had bid the rest of them goodnight and Ana was heading to the lobby with Teddy and Nick watching her retreating back…and trying to remember if the man casually leaning against the wall about three feet from the top of the stairs had been there earlier. With no doubt in his mind that it was yet another security guy, Nick shook his head: "I can't believe mom burst out laughing in McKenzie's face. What the hell was that about?"

"No idea, but it didn't look like it ended very well," Teddy commented, opening the door to their own room.

"How many of those guys are there, anyway?" Nick asked closing the door behind him. "I've been counting eight, nine with McKenzie, but if I count this guy and his relief that's another two."

"Door or window?" Teddy asked, not sure if he should let Nick in on just how much security he suspected was around them for this trip. All McKenzie had told them was that the relief team in the morning would include 'some familiar faces', meaning he had had some people flown over from South Carolina.

"Window, but don't change the subject."

"I don't know Nick, it's not like McKenzie is running this by me," Teddy said and started hanging up the couple of trousers and shirts he had brought for this trip. "Could be anything from sixteen to twenty."

"Is it always like this?" Nick asked as he threw himself on the bed closer to the window and folded his arms behind his head.

"No. You've heard McKenzie: this is a small place and everybody knows everybody else's business. The hotel staff might be discreet but it doesn't mean they aren't curious and if anybody figures out there's a story to sell…" he shrugged.

Teddy was getting ready for bed when Nick once again asked: "Where do they stay when they're not on duty, the security I mean?

Wondering what was up with his brother Teddy sat on the edge of his own bed: "Again, I don't know. I can ask if you want."

"What, you're gonna poke your head out the door and ask him where he bunks down?"

Rolling his eyes Teddy said: "No. I can call McKenzie and ask."

"You've got his number?"

"Umm, yes. Nick, what's this about?"

"I'm not sure," Nick frowned, "something's been bugging me since I overheard that guy talking into his sleeve and I can't really figure out what it is."

"Oh yeah, what was that about?"

With something of a faraway look Nick recalled: "All I did was stoop to lace my shoe and the next thing I know I was Jason Bourne trying to figure out why I could make sense of stuff I shouldn't be able to make sense of."

"Oh, so the reason you heard them is because they didn't know you were there," Teddy said, smiling at his brother's description.

"Yeah."

"What did you do?"

Reluctantly Nick admitted: "If I tell you, you'll laugh and then I'll have to kill you."

Relieved that Nick's sense of humour seemed to have survived the evening drama, Teddy chuckled and got into bed before he challenged: "Try me."

"You know that thing they do in the movies when they walk past some guy and casually turn their head a fraction to get a glimpse of the face?"

"Uh uh," Teddy grunted already biting his inner cheek at the image. Holding his breath he managed: "Did you see his face?"

"Yep."

"And?"

"Fucker looked straight at me and Mr Parson-ed me."

The pillow suddenly landing on his face only made Teddy laugh harder at the image of his brother pretending to be all casual and cool, just to be met with the steely impassive face of a security guy calmly greeting him in that super-official-sounding way they had.

"You done?" Nick asked.

"Sorry, but…yeah, ok, I'm done," Teddy said still chuckling. "What did you hear anyway?"

For some reason Nick was suddenly uneasy. "I'm not sure you'd want to hear that."

"Why?"

"Because he was taking about you and mom and it was…weird."

"Weird how?"

Uncertain where his reluctance had come from anyway, Nick gave in: "Heads up. Charlie-Charlie and the missus are on the premises. Proceed to lock down. Status is green," he recited, feeling more than a little ridiculous.

Wondering why all of a sudden it felt like he was alone in the room, Nick turned his head to see his brother lying stock still, barely breathing.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you," he commented quietly.

Teddy released his breath and reassured him: "It's okay Nick. I should have seen it coming."

"What should you have seen coming?"

"My… code name."

"Charlie-Charlie?"

"Yeah."

"What about it?"

"Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta…it's the phonetic alphabet."

Nick could have slapped himself. That was what his brain had been trying to tell him: Charlie-Charlie as in CC. The security had nicknamed his brother Carbon Copy. He was still silently cursing his stupidity when his brother's voice intruded on his misery.

"Don't make a big deal out of this Nick," Teddy advised.

That was easier said than done. With this being the third clue this evening that his understanding of what was actually going on was superficial at best, Nick grunted some vague response, bid his brother good night and proceeded to seriously reconsider everything he had learned since Carol-Ann had stormed out of their house the weekend before Eddy's graduation.

xXx

When Ana returned to her room a little over an hour later she found Dan sitting on the bed in the living room area, propped up against the wall, watching TV with the sound so low it was barely audible.

"Emma was tired and went to bed," he informed her keeping his voice low.

Gingerly sitting on a corner of the bed, Ana nodded, once again filled with gratitude for this kind, thoughtful person who was constantly proving his strength and his devotion to his family.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I had a few things on my mind," Dan admitted, "but I'm all good now. You look…okay?"

"I am, I think. This was never going to be easy so it was good to have a moment to catch up with each other."

"Can you tell me what happened downstairs? One minute you were laughing and then she froze, couldn't even speak for a moment."

Her apparent serenity quickly vanishing, Ana looked down studying her hands resting in her lap. "It's a long story, a burden she has carried alone to protect her family. We all moved on with our lives and never noticed what it was doing to her."

Unhappy to be kept in the dark, Dan insisted: "Up until the point when you started laughing, Mia had practically ignored you. Then all of a sudden you two share a joke and it happens while McKenzie is unhappy about who might overhear sensitive information. From there she goes straight to terrified. If this is something personal between Mia and you, then fair enough. But if it has anything to do with security, then I need to know."

It wasn't about keeping the family safe, not really, but come morning Dan was going to find himself having to deal with the Greys. If sharing this story could give him a little insight in the family dynamic and their shared history, then…Making up her mind, Ana warned: "Please bear in mind that this was a long time ago. We were all so much younger and…we all know better now, okay?"

At Dan's somewhat wary nod she told him: "When I first met Mia, we were both twenty one. She had just returned to Seattle after a year in Europe. Before her departure Christian had already started to gain notoriety in business circles, but he had made his first billion in the year while she was away. That attracted a lot of attention not only to him but also to his family, so suddenly she had to put up with a close protection detail following her everywhere. To say that she wasn't happy about it, is putting it mildly. She was constantly trying to ditch them, which often ended in lectures similar to the one McKenzie gave tonight. As a compromise it was agreed that they would only follow her around while she was out and about, but give her some privacy while she was indoors somewhere. One day she went to the gym and…got caught in something that had nothing to do with her. Security wasn't there and he didn't raise the alert until she had been missing for a couple of hours."

"Somebody hurt her?" Dan asked.

"Kidnapped her. My former boss, at the publishing company. I had…declined his advances," Ana stammered, "and Christian had fired him and then it turned out he had a connection to Christian and was deeply resentful of his success. When Christian married me, he – Hyde - decided that if he could kidnap me he'd get two birds with one stone. He had tried once before - we actually thought he was still in jail - so he knew he didn't stand a chance as long as I had security around me. So he took Mia and called me with a demand for ransom."

"How long did he have her?" Dan asked quietly.

"Only a few hours and when security found us she was drugged. We all assumed she had been unconscious for most of that and she never told any of us the truth. Her husband, Paul knows…"

"Belle," Dan interrupted her tirade. "What do you mean 'when security found us'?"

"I uh… got the ransom and agreed to meet him."

"You what?" Dan asked, too stunned to remember to keep his voice down. "Christian sent you to meet with a man who had already tried to kidnap you?"

"No, God no! That was the problem. Hyde had threatened he would kill her if I told anybody. I knew security would not let me go without informing Christian and there was no way he would let me do that, not even…" Realizing her slip, Ana explained: "We had had a fight, we weren't talking to each other but he would have never allowed me to put myself in danger like that."

"So what did you do?"

"I took a gun, faked an emergency to distract Luke and went to the bank to get the money."

"Belle…" Dan started, then remembering this had been years ago shook his head to try and get some perspective. "Then what happened?"

"It was a large amount so I had to meet with the bank manager. I spotted Luke in the bank while I was waiting for the manger to get back to me and I remembered they could track my phone. It turned out the manager had called Christian and had him on the phone for me. Once I finished talking to Christian, I asked the manager if I could keep his phone. I put my phone in the bag with the money and kept the manager's with me, you know in case Hyde knew about the phone tracking and planned to take the phone away from me. It turns out I was right. They made me throw my phone but never checked it, so security was only a few minutes behind me when I got to Hyde."

Dan raised his hand to stop her. "I need to understand this. You talked to Christian?"

For a moment drowning in the memory of that day, Ana was powerless to stop the wave of pain and regret wash over her and needed a few seconds before she could speak. Even then, her voice was thick with emotion and she couldn't meet Dan's eyes when she admitted: "I told him I was leaving him."

"He believed you," Dan put two and two together.

"For long enough to approve the money to be withdrawn. He figured it out soon enough though. I think he and Taylor got to us about the same time as the others."

"You think?"

"I…uh, was unconscious. Hyde had had someone follow me to the bank. A woman, Elizabeth. She was head of HR at SIP, the publishing company, and he was blackmailing her. She drove me to the meeting place. When we got there Hyde got angry and he…hit me. I fell and hit my head."

"You said you had a gun."

"I did," Ana nodded. "I shot him before I blacked out."

At Dan's stricken face, she hurried to explain: "In the leg, I didn't…Anyway, by the time I woke up I was safe and it was all over. We were…" she stumbled then quickly added, "fine", hoping Dan would take the 'we' part to mean she and Mia. "I only told you all of this because you wanted to know but the point is, this is not about me, it's about Mia," she added hurriedly.

Something in Belle's words rang an alarm bell somewhere in Dan's mind but he was too caught up in her story to stop and think about it. Pushing that aside for later, he nodded: "You said Mia kept something from all of you."

"After the kidnapping she…seemed all right. She had been drugged but was not physically harmed. Of course she was…subdued for a while. It took a little time before she would go out and she never ditched security again but it all seemed natural, a normal reaction, and she had seemed to have bounced back to her usual happy self, even started dating only a few days later."

"I assume that was not the case?"

"No. With everything else going on she never told anybody how she really felt or what had really happened between her and Hyde. When they found her she was asleep, but she had only fallen asleep in the last few minutes when Hyde was outside. For most of the time he had kept her awake and…taunted her, describing in graphic detail what he had planned to do to… me and insinuating that maybe he should try some of it on her first."

Ana chocked on her tears and had to swallow past the lump in her throat to finish her tale: "The evidence against Hyde was enough as it was, so she didn't have to tell anybody about the threats. Her husband knows and now me and you. She did talk to a therapist, but…when she met Paul and told him…that's why they relocated to Italy, so she could get out of Seattle, away from the memories. He is Italian so once again she could avoid explaining herself."

"So when you were laughing at McKenzie's lecture…"

"She says she doesn't have flash backs very often anymore, but with everything that has happened lately and then tonight with me and security there…"

"Is she all right? Where is she now?"

"She's fine, or she will be. As she put it 'Paul is waiting for me.' I did ask one of the guys to drive her home though."

'Like babies,' was the first thing that popped into Dan's head. Looking so fragile and in need of protection and yet when it mattered the women had proven they were made of sterner stuff. These two had skirted death and maybe worse and yet here they were, putting a smile on their faces, one keeping her troubles to herself and the other insisting it was not about her…

Despite the late hour, Dan was awake for quite a while after Belle retired to her own bed.

With his mind still full of this unexpected glimpse into Belle's past, at first he wondered if he had ever known her at all. But then slowly, imperceptibly, like the tide rising on a beach, each wave reaching a little further than the previous one, the truth emerged from the jumble of memories of their time together. He had indeed known her, recognized her. She and Jane both shared this need to…help, to serve, to be there for others.

Jane had channelled that into her career and her passion was one of the many things that had attracted him to her. Belle…she had always been what he and their children needed: pushing them, paying attention to them, going with him to Jane's grave so **he** could show his family… It's not that she had never expressed a wish or a hope, it's was just that she had been ready to drop them, compromise on them, to be what her family needed. He knew that and yet tonight for some reason that didn't feel right.

'_This is not about me,_' her words came back to him. Being blackmailed with the life of her sister in law and then confronting a sick perverted bastard who hit her and forced her to shoot him, was 'not about her'. She had said the same thing a week ago when she had shared the story about finding out that Ray was not her biological father and explained how that fact had affected Ray and Carla, not her. This weekend, he had known it was going to be hard on her, but once again she had insisted it shouldn't be about her…Suddenly he really heard what she had been trying to tell him about her and Grey, why she never fought for him: she was convinced he had moved on that she was not what he needed.

How has he not seen this before? Being there for others was one thing. Doing it because she didn't believe things could, should, also be about her was another. Even now at the end she had asked him if working for Marty was what he wanted to do. She had mentioned she might have some plans, ideas of her own, and he had not thought of asking her about any of it. Adding to his guilt was the reminder of his own words to her: '_I don't think we can be what the other needs anymore.' _

Before sleep finally caught up with him he had reached three decisions.

One: tomorrow he was on a mission. Ten years on the beat had taught him a lot about reading people, reading body language and facial expressions. Family meeting be damned, his job will be to keep his eyes peeled and try to figure out what was really going on around him.

Two: ensure that anything that should be about Belle, would be about her, starting with how everybody else treated her. Nobody was going to get to just ignore her or pile guilt on her; she had enough of that as it were. If this was about healing, then let the healing begin.

Three: no one in his family was going to take security lightly, ever. They were all going to get on board with that programme and he and McKenzie were going to get to know each other really, really well.

xXx

On the other side of the half-wall dividing the suite, Ana was also awake, still processing some of her conversation with Mia. She had not told Dan everything. Some details were just too personal, like the fact that Hyde's threats had been of a sexual nature. Mia was a virgin then. Her fling with Ethan had been a reaction to the prospect of someone like Hyde being her first, not that she understood that much about her actions at the time, but still…And then she had just put a brave face on because she knew how much guilt Christian already carried over what had happened. Thankfully she had found Paul, someone who was not only not interested but rather weary of all the wealth and the attention surrounding the Greys.

From their telephone conversation the previous week she already knew that Paul and Mia had made a good life for themselves. Although much better off financially than she and Dan, they weren't rich. Like Dan, Paul had stubbornly refused to use any of his wife's money unless he could put in the same amount. He had opened his first restaurant with whatever savings he had and some free labour provided by his family. That first place had now grown to three and he was on his way to getting his first Michelin star…Mia had helped with the first restaurant, but when Christina was born, while staying home with the baby she had started commenting on a few fashion and society pages. That had grown into a blog and for the past ten years she had been writing professionally, keeping Americans living abroad up to date with fashion, society news and opportunities for social gatherings.

Tonight, even in their slightly inebriated state and while making an effort to rekindle their relationship, the reality of just why they were sipping drinks in this particular hotel bar had kept creeping in. Interrupting one of those moments of awkward silence, Mia had thanked her for talking to Christian about the meeting.

_"Thanks for talking to Christian about this. He was still angry at me for suggesting it, but since you had told him you thought it was a good idea, all I had to put up with was him glowering at me for the rest of the week."_

There was no way she could have allowed Mia to set this up behind Christian's back, so Saturday night, once she and Dan had shared the idea of the weekend with the rest of the family, she had called him and told him. The silence at the other end of the line had been heavy and lasted an eternity.

_"I assume, by the way you have presented this, that you are not totally opposed to the idea?"_

Flat, ominous…she knew that tone: Christian was angry and had retreated behind his armour of formality.

_"I think it has merit but I thought I'd run this by you before I get back to Mia."_

_"She'll be the death of me," _he had commented with a little more warmth in his voice, and she had been torn between a smile and a sigh. Some things never change. Christian needed control. Hand it back to him and he'd at least listen to what you had to say…On cue he had asked: _"Why is it a good idea?"_

_"I think she's right. Teddy needs to see all of us together. If we…hope he will accept all of us in his life, we have to show him we can…accept each other,"_ she has stumbled through her verbs.

Another long silence, but not as heavy as the first one, and she had had to fight against the urge to drift and allow him to take over, make the decision for them. Despite appearances, this was not why she had called him.

_"And you think you can do this?" _he had asked, quietly, openly.

The calm voice and open question had been no use. Their complicated past had suddenly sprung to life and she had had to scrape every ounce of strength to help inject some assurance in her voice to tell him: _"For Teddy, I can do this."_

'Guilty, Your Honour,' her mind translated the words. For Teddy I should have done this a long time ago.

"_When does she want to do it?"_ Christian's voice had cut through the wave of guilt.

"_Next weekend."_

A moment's silence while he was presumably checking his calendar and then his breathing had just stopped.

_"She said she will be here another three weeks, we can postpone another week," _she had offered, whispering so he wouldn't hear her voice cracking.

_"I'll be out of the country." _

His voice had been hoarse, rough, as if he had had to force the words to leave his throat.

_"The week after that then,"_ she had raised the bid.

_"It's Samantha's birthday."_

That had been more than an explanation. There had been a degree of finality in his tone and her mind had gone to the image of the girl - young woman - sat in the VIP lounge next to Grace. At least this was something she had given some thought to and she was completely sincere when she informed him: _"I am looking forward to meeting her_."

_"You do?"_

Oh, Christian! her heart had gone out to him at his surprised and doubtful tone.

_"Yes, I do. She is a part of your life and Teddy's. Whatever happened between us is not her fault. She looked beautiful at his graduation and Teddy speaks very highly of her."_

_"Thank you, Anastasia."_

That had almost slayed her. The only thing that had kept her together was the knowledge that she had found something she could do for him: accept his daughter.

That's where they were she and Christian: tomorrow, twenty-two years down the line, they will face each other again, as parents this time. For Teddy, she could keep it together. For Teddy, they will find way to be around each other. And then in September they could meet again, as Christian and Ana, and find their closure.

Adrift between sleep and wakefulness, her barriers down and her mind unguarded, a quote rose to float into what was left of her awareness:'_Faith is believing what you know ain't so.'_

xXx

In his home office in Medina, Christian blindly reached for his discarded phone, his eyes still darting over the document on the computer screen. He could work. He could even multi-task. That was a vast improvement from alternating between running on the treadmill and pacing –correction: prowling - through the bottom floor of the house, invariably returning to stare at the pouting face of the woman he loved. There was a chance that she was wrong about this, and if she was, tomorrow was going to be a disaster of epic proportions.

At some point during the evening he had caved in and popped his beta-blockers. And now he could at least work. '_I could prescribe a benzodiazepine, Mr Grey_,' Renner had offered at the end of their session this afternoon. Fucking brain altering, stupor inducing, addictive as shit, happy pills. No thanks. Working it was.

"Grey," he barked into the phone, a corner of his mind noticing it was 22.30 Too fucking late for a social call, so he diverted another few percentage of his brain to deal with whatever his late caller wanted.

"Mr Elliot Grey is on his way down, sir."

God damn it, he should be allowed to have his fucking meltdown all by himself. That's why he was here and not in Montana: so he could worry himself to death about tomorrow minus an audience. Yet he was the one who had suggested they could both leave from here in the morning…

"Thank you," he said and hung up.

Standing from his chair he straightened his shirt and raked his fingers through his hair. His mind no longer fully absorbed by the task at hand, the endless stream of 'what ifs' that had plagued him through most of the week made a bid to return and consume his attention. The constant challenge to keep his anxiety at bay was a familiar battle, one he was nowadays mostly winning. Except when it found a crack in his armour. Which was not fucking going to happen tonight. Not with Elliot here anyway.

With an effort he pushed all of that at the back of his mind and, his defences firmly in place, he left his office with determined long strides. He was standing in the foyer when his brother stepped through the front door.

"Elliot," he greeted him.

"Hi Christian," Elliot said dumping a black, half-full, duffel bag on the polished wooden floor.

They usually sat in the library, but tonight the room felt claustrophobic, and so Christian extended an arm towards the living room, "Make yourself comfortable, I'll bring something to drink."

Alcohol and beta-blockers were not a smart combination, but low blood pressure was the least of his worries tonight and with a shot of whiskey he might just have a chance to get some sleep. That was logic talking, not panic, he reasoned. It's not like he was fourteen drinking himself stupid with his legs dangling over the edge of the pier at his parent's house, daring fate about which would drop to the water below first: him or the bottle. It had been the bottle, always the bottle…

Forcing down a shuddering breath that felt like it was ripping through his lungs, he closed the door to the liqueur cabinet. He needed to get a fucking grip. He'd never allowed any of them to see him like this and that was not going to change tonight.

"What's going on?" he asked, once both him and Elliot were nursing half full whiskey glasses in the comfort of his spacious living room.

"The guys did a really good job," Elliot said, admiring the handiwork of his men: the new ceiling was on and the floor to ceiling glass windows on either side of the fire place had been reinstated. They were just a little wider to compensate for what had been lost in height and the room looked as if it had been designed like this. Which it had. On the original drawings. Which his brother had had altered because he wanted more space…

"You blew off Mary and Matt so you can come and inspect the worksite?"

Elliot finally registered the tension radiating from his brother. He knew it was not directed at him, or he wouldn't be sitting here sipping whiskey, and he didn't need to ask what it was directed at. This was about tomorrow. Teddy and Ana and Christian, all in one place, surrounded by family, including Teddy's step-father, who also happened to be Ana's husband…At least now he could be there too, and for now he could at least direct his brother's attention onto something else.

"I need to talk to you Christian, and I need you to hear me out. Really hear me. Can you do that?"

At his words, from impatient bordering on hostility, Christian went to poised and attentive. He'd never understand how Christian could switch gears like that, but for what he had to say, CEO mode could work.

"Mary had to cancel tomorrow because her sister went into labour early, so we'll do this next weekend instead. But here's the thing: I don't think Kate can live with this. I do understand where she's coming from and I wish there was something I could do to fix this, but I can't turn my back on Matt. So it is likely that Kate and I are going to separate. Divorce probably. I need you to stay out of it. I am not defenceless and this is between me and Kate."

Under his eyes the composed, attentive businessman sat in the opposite armchair morphed again. What he was now facing was the cold, calculated, self-contained Harvard drop out who had built a billion-dollars company from scratch before he turned thirty. That man didn't take any prisoners and this could go either way.

"How long have you been practicing this speech?" his brother enquired, each arctic cold word precisely enunciated and slicing through the air.

"I'm serious Christian."

One moment under that unblinking gray stare. Some kind of flicker behind the clear gray eyes. One sharp nod. The left arm slowly lowering the crystal glass to the table, then Christian leaned back in his armchair. "I'm here if you need me, you know that right?"

"You're just going to let this go?"

"It's your family Elliot."

His obvious relief brought a frown on Christian's face.

"What did you think I'd do?"

"I don't know. But you can get very protective and you and Kate have history so…" Elliot shrugged.

"That's between me and Katherine. I'd never drag you and Ava into it. But I am going to ask you one more time: are you really ready to share Grey Construction with Katherine?"

"We'll see."

"Meaning?"

"Kate is not the vengeful person you think she is, Christian. Just because you never liked each other…she was –is – my wife. Good or bad we have had a life together and we have Ava to think of. And if it turns out you are right after all, I can't say I have not deserved it. I'll probably not just lie down and die, but neither do I want to see this turning into one of those epic divorce battles that go on for years. My priority has to be Matt and Ava."

"Speaking of which, does Ava know?"

"No. We…didn't resolve much last weekend. Taking them to Montana kind of back fired. When we got back home, it was almost like all that talking was left behind. But this **is** going to get real and when it does I don't think Kate can live with Mary and Matt being openly a part of my life."

"So what happens now?"

"If…When it comes to that, I'll be moving out. Kate gets to keep the house. It's Ava's home and I am not exactly in her good books right now, so whether she is home or at college next year I won't take that away from her. Then we'll leave it to the lawyers to hash it out."

"Is that a question? Ava going to college."

"She's been…having second thoughts. All of this has been getting to her, made her rethink some things. She was not too sure what she wanted to do anyway so she is thinking of taking a year out."

Pensive, Christian sipped some of his drink. Without a doubt both he and his brother had royally fucked up. By some miracle he had been given a chance to right some of his mistakes, but Elliot…That was going to take some time.

When he finally found a measure of peace that night he had made a pact with himself. If it meant that much to Elliot…he would cut Katherine a deal: she'll get to keep Kavanagh Media in exchange for her share of Grey Construction. Besides he had bigger fish to fry. Teddy will be there tomorrow, and so will Anastasia. Today, Renner had once again questioned his apprehension ahead of this meeting: _"You have watched her interact with her family, including her husband, for several years. I was under the impression that the visits to Rock Hill brought you some form of…solace. If you have agreed that this weekend will not be the time and place for your long overdue talk, why the anxiety?"_

The only way he had been able to even come close to explaining the difference had been an analogy: _"I assume you have at some point seen a picture of a canyon or a ravine, admired the beauty, imagined the awe such a place would inspire when seen from up close?"_

The slight pause in Renner's breathing had indicated that the good doctor had already guessed where he was going with this. But for once it was his turn to make a point in these sessions so he had not hesitated to hammer it home with his follow up question: _"Have you ever stood on the mountain side, so close to the edge that the tips of your toes almost touch the infinity below?"_

xXx

In the middle of the city of Seattle, in her lavish house in the hip district of Queen Anne's, Kate was also finally ready for bed.

With the thud of the front door closing behind him, Elliot had left the house a couple of hours ago.

_"Kate, there's been a change in plans for tomorrow. Matt's visit is postponed until next week,_" he had come to inform her. She was still hurting from having overheard him talk to his son only minutes before and despite now having at least a partial explanation for that conversation, she had leashed out.

_"What makes you think I'd want to know?"_

_"I was thinking I might head out to Montana instead."_

That had opened another wound: the family weekend, the one to which she was not invited. She had not heard from Mia since their meeting in the restaurant. True, she had not reached out either, but…had it not been for Ava asking permission to join Grace, Sam and Mia's family for the short break, she wouldn't even know about it. Clamping down on her hurt feelings she had coldly informed him: _"You can do whatever you want, Elliot."_

_"I can stay, if you want me to. Perhaps…we didn't resolve much last weekend."_

_"That's because there wasn't anything to resolve. You've made up your mind regardless of how this affects Ava and me."_

_"I don't want to fight, Kate. I know I'm in the wrong here. It's just that two wrongs won't make a right. I have had very little real involvement in Matt's life until now, but now that he needs more from me, I can't turn my back on him."_

_"And what about what Ava needs from you?"_

_"Ava knows me. She knows I am her father no matter what. Now Matt also needs that kind of reassurance."_

She might have believed him, might have continued to keep her head in the sand and tried to assign Elliot's relationship with his other child to a sense of duty, had it not been for the warmth in his tone, for the gentleness and easy banter she had overheard between the two of them, for the wistfulness in his tone when he had bid his son good night with a promise of seeing him the following week…

_"Do you even regret any of this?"_ she had finally dared asked him.

Their eyes had locked in a silent battle of wills, she daring him to commit and he battling with…what? Telling the truth? She had seen the moment he had made his decision, the moment he had plunged and dispelled any remaining hope she had had.

_"I regret that I have been unfaithful to you, Kate, and I regret that I have not been a better husband. __Sorry does not begin to describe how much I regret putting you and Ava through this. I also regret putting Matt in this difficult position. But if what you are asking is whether I regret knowing about him and being part of his life, then the answer is no."_

She could have put up with him fulfilling his legal duties towards his illegitimate child, she could have even put up with him maybe going through the motions and perform some perfunctory parental duties, but to see him actually emotionally involved, to see him love and care for a child he had had with another woman…that, she didn't know if she could put up with.

"_Do whatever you want, Elliot_," she had put an end to the discussion and pretended to return her attention to her magazine before he could see her heart breaking.

_"Kate…"_

_"Go Elliot. Nothing I can do or say can change your mind on this so just…go."_

A few minutes later Elliot had returned to inform her: _"I'm going to Christian's. We'll leave early tomorrow morning. I'll be in Whitefish if you need to reach me over the weekend and I'll be back Sunday evening."_

She had not acknowledged any of that and a minute later the sound of the front door closing had informed her he had left. For many years she had been afraid he will eventually fall for one of his mistresses and had had to fight to keep her faith in the fact that if not her per se, than at least their family meant more to him than any of them. The only person she had ever confided in was her mother. Surprising her, her mother had refused to get involved past the point of making sure she understood the consequences of her choices.

"_I can't tell you what to do Katie. You have to decide for yourself what you can and can't live with. What I can tell you is this: if you choose to leave him, there is no going back to him afterwards, no way of repairing the rift between the two of you. But if you choose to stay in this marriage you should be aware that he will never change. Whatever has pushed him to seek those other women, if he cannot find it with you he will do that again."_

In a moment of brutal honesty with herself she had had to admit she knew exactly what had pushed Elliot into having an affair and she couldn't give it to him. Elliot needed a home. Somewhere to come after a day of work and let his hair down, enjoy the simple pleasures of each other's company, just be for a while. And yes she did enjoy those moments herself but…she wanted her career more. The first time she had become aware that he was cheating on her, she had been running Kavanagh Media for almost two years. The company was just recovering from the scandal of her father's sudden retirement and the change in leadership. She couldn't afford another scandal, she couldn't afford to be seen as weak, and so she had not called him out on his affair.

So as long as he came home to her, she had decided she could live with it. By the time his affairs had finally stopped, their marriage was irretrievably broken, and yet she had held onto it and held onto Elliot. And now this…

As usual she was alone in this. The Grey's knew about Matt and yet she was the one not invited to share the weekend with them. How long will it take before Mary and Matt will be invited?

Of course this was because Grace and Mia had figured out she had never told Ana the family wanted to get in touch with her. What would those two think if they ever found out just what their son and brother had been up to, before and after Ana? She had met Marlene. They all had. How could they not see how odd that relationship was? Whether anybody else had noticed or not, she had. She knew exactly what Marlene was.

And so from the depth of her despair she had found a glimmer of hope. She didn't have to take this. Whatever she and Elliot eventually decided to do with their relationship, she would not let herself be ignored, pushed out of the family. Not without a fight. With Ava there, Elliot will not dare take sides against her. She had been momentarily derailed when she remembered Christian will be there, but quickly recovered. The fact that she had been in touch with Ana and Teddy was moot. He had known about it and so had Elliot. As for Grace and Mia, they were putty in Christian's hands and she had one up on Christian Grey. Surely he wouldn't want his mummy and baby sister to find out just what he had been up to when it came to women.

Minutes later she was booked on the 13.00 flight to Kalispell the following day. She should be at the house by four in the afternoon, just in time for tea.

**AN: Next chapter will be up next Saturday and they will all be finally meeting.**


	57. Summer Storm Ch54 Companionable morning

**AN: The good thing with deadlines is that the work is eventually done. The bad thing is that it is not always of the best possible quality. This chapter has been harder to write than I had anticipated and was only finished sometime just after 3 am this morning, so it is rougher than I would have liked but at least it's here.**

Ch 54 Companionable morning

Breakfast was winding down. Watching the two families interact with each other around the table, Nick had to admit this mini reunion had been a good idea. Despite Mia and even her husband occasionally throwing furtive glances towards his mother and brother, it all felt incredibly…normal.

Okay so his perception of normal had perhaps shifted some in the past twenty four hours. This morning when Eddy and him had agreed they could do with a workout was a prime example. Old normal was to throw on some clothes, stick his feet in a pair of snickers and get going. New normal was for Eddy to check with McKenzie. In the short discussion that had followed, it had transpired that he would rather go swimming. Two phone calls and half an hour later the pool was open half an hour early and reserved for their sole use. Or rather them and half a dozen security guards', '_to divert any undue attention'_ from him and Eddy. On the way to the pool he also got to add a name to the face of that girl from the bar on Eddy's graduation. Elizabeth Baer had been standing in the corridor and cool as a cucumber, Eddy had made the introductions and then carried on walking. So yeah, normal had definitely acquired a few new twists.

Done swimming - and boy was he glad he was fit as he had found himself standing in only swim trunks surrounded by six guys, all taller than him, and all looking as if they were in the running for the Mr Universe title – they were making their way through the lobby when he had spotted their mother engaged in conversation with an older business man.

Lucas Sawyer, Executive Director of Security at GEH. The man did not bat an eye at greeting Eddy, but the look he exchanged with their mother was telling a different story, and so had their cryptic good bye.

'_I'll be here for the weekend.'_

'_Thank you, Luke.'_

'Luke' he had learned, was his mother's former body guard and he was here because _'he has been around for longer than McKenzie and thought it would be a good idea to ensure that…umm, McKenzie had all the relevant information_,' their mother had explained on the way back to their rooms.

So his mom was friendly with McKenzie's boss, who had thought it prudent to be here in person because McKenzie, the man in charge of their security, did not have all the information he might need to do his job. And his mom was grateful for the foresight. If that didn't spell trouble…

"_This is my husband, Paul. Paul you remember Ana, and this is Dan, Ana's husband_," Mia had taken over the introductions, as they had entered the room reserved for their breakfast. Now, almost an hour later, Emma and Christina were chatting nonstop. Across from him, his father and Paul were discussing motorcycles and the best way to negotiate difficult road conditions. Between Paul and Mia the identical twins where once again whispering to each other in Italian, and he was willing to bet a twenty those two were up to no good. On the other side of the twins Mia was multitasking: keeping the conversation alive, ensuring the twins behaved, directing the staff to bring more of whatever was running low on the table, all while lapsing from English to Italian and back again as the moment demanded.

To his right Eddy…Teddy, was politely replying to one of Mia's questions. It was obvious that while Mia and even Paul were happy to see Eddy, neither of them really knew what to do about his mother, so they kept alternating between casual small talk and moments of uncomfortable silence. Surprisingly, given the frostiness between the two of them in the past few months, Eddy seemed to be taking his mom's side. He had certainly talked to her more this morning than he had during the whole weekend just a week ago.

All of a sudden chairs were being pushed back around Nick and people were standing. Quickly agreeing on a bathroom break, the group split up, with an agreed meeting point outside the restaurant. When Eddy and Nick arrived outside, Eddy seemed to have exchanged his polite smile for a tight lipped expression.

"Hey, are you okay?" Nick asked, taking advantage of the fact that for now they were alone.

"I wish people would stop asking me that," Teddy said, raking the fingers of one hand through his hair.

"So that's a no then."

With a sigh his kid brother sat on one of the chairs on the veranda. "I wish they'd give mom a break. It's nice that they all want to meet me, but it's already weird without all that passive-aggressive shit going on."

In the past few months Nick had only met with resistance and a '_we'll see'_ each time he had tried to push Eddy to talk to their mom, so his surprise must have shown as his brother sighed and admitted: "What happened is between Christian and mom and me. I can see where the rest of them might be coming from, but this weekend is supposed to get people to get over it and this is not helping."

Carefully choosing his battles here, Nick nodded: "I think Mia kind of got the message towards the end."

All Teddy could do was grunt in reply as Dan, Paul and the twins made their appearance. When the women finally joined them the whole gang rounded the hotel and headed towards the road behind it, two men and 'Betty' following them at a respectful distance, looking just like another small group out for a walk. To Teddy and Nick's amusement the twins laid claim on them and subjected them to rapid fire questions, obviously stuff they had been too smart to bring up at breakfast.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Who, me or him?" Nick asked.

"First you then him."

"I do, he doesn't."

"You don't like girls?" they switched target to his brother.

"Well, yes, I do, but…"

Teddy got interrupted by an urgent whispered conversation between the two younger boys followed by them elbowing each other until from behind them their mother interrupted with a 'Alexander, Sebastian, basta!'

"So you like boys more then?" one of them asked.

And so it went for several minutes, although Nick and Eddy managed to stir the questions onto the more neutral subject of sports and food, and then Eddy's phone buzzed with a message.

Sam: Ok if we meet u half-way?

Ed: who's we and where's half way?

Sam: me and Ava. we're at the end of golf drive. my cpo is going to have a stroke if we hang around much longer.

"Alexander, do you know how far we are from the house?" Teddy randomly asked one of the boys.

"I'm Sebastian, he's Alex. I think we need to go on that road over there first," the boy answered and turned to shout: "Papà, come siamo lontani dalla casa?"

"Not far, we turn left on that road and then it's about ten minutes."

"See, told you," the youngster beamed at Eddy who looked...resigned.

"What's going on?" Nick asked.

"Holliday's over," Eddy replied and nodded in the direction of the T junction ahead of them where two young women were standing, talking to a large man. "Let's get this over with," he added and started walking with long strides towards the small group.

"Aspettaci!" the twins shouted, already two steps behind them.

Slightly worked up from the effort of having to keep up with his brother's longer strides without breaking into a trot, and followed by two fourteen year olds half running to keep up with the two of them while shouting something or other in Italian, was not how Nick had envisioned his first meeting with Samantha and Ava Grey. But since this was what happened, all he could do was stand back, watch, and wait to be introduced.

"Teddy!" the lanky, dark haired girl smiled a brilliant smile at his brother. "Before it gets too crazy, thank you for coming," she said and all of a sudden they were in a sort of half hug. Without letting him go she pushed herself away a little to enquire: "Ready for this?"

Teddy shrugged and cast his eyes further down the road: "How are things?"

"Uh, so-so," she replied her eyes darting to their audience.

"Military academy?" Teddy leaned his head to ask, a smile on his lips and a twinkle in his eyes.

"You've read up!" she laughed, finally letting go of him.

"Twice," Teddy chuckled. "Gotta keep up with you," he added, then turned to the blonde bombshell who had also been observing them and extended his hand for a hand shake: "Hi Ava, thanks for coming to meet us."

"As if I could wait any longer," Ava said returning his hand shake but glancing towards Nick.

"Nick, this is Sam and Ava. Sam, Ava, this is my brother, Nick," Teddy carried on with the introductions.

It was only when he got to the point where he was shaking hands with Ava that Nick realized: this was Aunt Kate's daughter! Strike one, he silently berated himself as he recovered from the reminder. At least now he'll be mentally prepared for meeting the husband.

Dan and Paul caught up with them and a second round of introductions followed. While Teddy did not use any relationship description to introduce Samantha, Nick noted that he did refer to Dan as 'my dad.' They were just going through the 'please call me Dan,' part when Samantha's brilliant smile and enthusiasm seemed to fade as she looked at something behind them.

Teddy had also noticed the change and half turned to check what had brought it on, then looking slightly down at her he took her hand: "C'mon," he said and took a couple of steps to close the distance between them and the last group.

"Sam, this is my mother. Mom, this is Samantha," Teddy introduced the two without further ado.

Her self-assurance definitely gone, Sam was slightly blushing as she extended her hand to Ana: "It's nice to meet you, Mrs Parson."

Strike two, Nick once again counted in his head. While they had discussed the fact that the Greys were probably going to call their mother Ana, they had not counted on one of them having to introduce her to one of the Greys...

His mother's face reminded him of how she used to look at him or Eddy when they were competing in some martial arts demo or other, and then she smiled as she returned the handshake: "Please call me Ana. I'm glad to meet you too. T…eddy speaks very highly of you."

Nick gave himself a break from counting his mother's hesitation on the name as a strike. It was obvious they had a name problem and everybody would just have to find their own way to deal with that.

"He does?" Sam asked stealing a glance towards her…brother, Nick had to at least privately admit the relationship.

"Yes, he does," his mother assured the young woman then turned towards Emma. "Samantha, this is Emma, Teddy's younger sister."

Okay, that encounter didn't go quite as smoothly, Nick noted, as the two girls awkwardly shook hands.

"Hi Emma. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Emma replied, minus a smile.

"Uh, mom, Emma, this is Ava," Teddy stepped in.

While Emma just shook hands with…Eddy's cousin, their mom looked ready to lose it as she shook hands with…her former best friend's daughter. With a glance at his father Nick confirmed that it was not just his impression: this was already awkward and they were only half way to the house.

Despite Nick's misgivings the rest of the walk was not all that bad. Dan and Paul were still engaged in conversation a few steps ahead of the rest of them, Eddy had taken it upon himself to mediate between Emma and Sam which meant Christina was also walking alongside them, and Mia and his mom had again fallen slightly behind obviously also caught up in their own world. That left him with the twins and…a handful of blonde, currently slithering her hand around his arm until he had little choice but to bend it at the elbow.

"So, Sam and I were trying to figure this out," she engaged him, "if Teddy is my cousin and you are Teddy's brother, does that make you my cousin as well?"

There was a time when he could read women like a book, but then he had taken a break and now the only woman he wanted to read was Carol-Ann. He was still trying to figure out if the look in the baby blue eyes was anything else but innocence when the twins came to his rescue.

"He has a girlfriend you know."

"He does?" Ava didn't miss a beat. "Oh well, that settles it then. Cousin Nick it is."

Nick had barely had time to feel the relief when she added, "Or would you prefer Nicholas?" removing any doubt he had left: Ava Grey was lethal and - rusty skills coming back warned him- she was not even trying, not really. Never one to back down from a challenge, he turned his head to look straight into those blue eyes and beam his full smile: "Nick will do," he drawled in his best Southern Carolina accent, "Cousin Ava."

Yep, the momentary flutter of the long lashes confirmed, he still had it. Before he could wonder what the hell he had started, the young woman hanging on his arm started giggling.

"Shouldn't that be 'Miss Ava'?"

"Do I look like Rhett Butler?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"You've seen Gone with the Wind?!"

"Depends. Does the first hour seen three times count?"

It was a short walk on the road they had learned was practically a private drive for this weekend, with one of the other two properties owned by Christian and the inhabitants of the other conveniently away for a few days. The entrance to the backside of the Grey property consisted of a single sided wrought iron gate, the wall on each side barely visible through the foliage of dense shrubbery. Past the gate the path looked more like a forest track than a road and as conversations slowly died, only the twins seemed to remain unaffected by the growing tension. The track ended in a wide open area dominated by a large house about 30 feet away. All dark wood and stone, large enough to dwarf the forest in the distance, the mansion pretending to be a lodge looked as if it were floating between the expanse of green lawn and the clear blue sky above.

Caught in the beauty of the scenery, the small group had come to a halt, when suddenly the twins broke into a run, obviously racing each other. Surprised, all Paul could do was shout, 'Alex, Sebastian!', and with an apologetic look to Dan take after them. The chuckles echoing behind him were however subdued and Dan turned to the rest of his companions.

"Mia, could you please give us a moment?" he asked.

As Mia gathered her daughter as well as Ava and Samantha, Dan faced his family.

"Okay everybody?" he asked taking them in.

Emma shrugged; Teddy nodded while keeping his eyes on the house on the other side of the clearing. Eventually Ana took her eyes off him and also nodded. Looking at his mother Nick quipped: "Like a military academy?"

"What?" Ana frowned.

"Eddy and Samantha have this thing with quoting The Hitchhiker to each other. '_I feel like a military academy, bits of me keep passing out_,'" Nick explained.

It took a moment for her to get the analogy, but then she laughed and a smile found its way back onto her face. "Something like that."

And then Mia was back to inform them she had sent the girls ahead and all that was left to do was walk across the lawn and to the house where the rest of the Greys were waiting.

xXx

Warned by the three girls, Christian, Grace and Elliot were already standing when the Parsons and Mia made their way up the stairs on the outside of the house and entered the main living area. While the newcomers took a moment to allow their eyes to adjust to the relative darkness, Christian was already moving. The only way he could do this, was to immediately take control of the situation. In three long strides he was in front of them, and his eyes firmly on Dan he extended his right arm.

"Dan. Thank you for agreeing to this meeting."

"Christian," Dan replied, taking the offered hand. "It sounded like a good idea."

With a sharp nod, Christian let go of Dan's hand and turned his eyes to Teddy, his face immediately relaxing into a smile: "Teddy," he said, then took in his son's troubled expression. "Would you like to introduce us?" he amended his plan in order to give Teddy something to do to carry him past this moment.

Looking from Dan to Christian, Teddy made up his mind. "Nick, Emma, this is my father, Christian Grey."

Christian's hesitation only lasted for half a second and Dan had to admire the man for his self-discipline as he quickly recovered and proceeded to shake Nick's hand.

"Nick."

"Mr. Grey."

With an earnest expression, Christian corrected him: "Christian."

"Christian," Nick acknowledged.

When it was Emma's turn she immediately launched into her prepared speech: "Hello Mr Grey. Thank you for paying for the surgery for my leg."

A shadow briefly passed over Christian's face, then serious and perhaps a little sad he replied: "Please call me Christian and I'm sorry that the surgery was necessary. There is no need to thank me. I understand that the result was a success?"

"Umm, yes it was," Emma squirmed a little under the attention.

"Good," Christian said.

Only one more person to greet. His barriers firmly in place, his muscles bulging under the strain, he shifted to the right so she would be directly in front of him, his body between her and most of their audience.

"Anastasia," he called.

"Hello Christian," she said raising her head to meet his eyes.

And that, Dan noticed, was that. Stood a little to the side, he could still see most of Belle's face and Christian's profile. Christian's attention was now entirely consumed by the woman who had had to slightly tilt her head backwards to meet his stare. Neither Christian's nor Belle's eyes wavered as they remained motionless, silently facing each other. When Christian's expression softened and the haunted look on Belle's face melted into something else, he had to look away.

"Christian, perhaps you could introduce us," Elliot's voice intruded.

xXx

The lunch served on the covered patio on the right side of the house was over and most of the people had already retreated back into the house, seeking shelter from the scorching heat. Dan however deliberately lingered behind to give himself a moment to sort through his thoughts from the day.

The Greys had all gone out of their way to put him at ease and make him feel welcome, and it had mostly worked.

Christian was about what he had expected from Eddy's graduation and then later on at the hospital: intense, dominating and out of the charts charismatic. Eddy's impression that he was 'toning it down for the family' was misleading. The man could no more tone down who he was than he could change the color of his eyes. What he did do, Dan suspected, was not push back when his family stood up to him.

_When they had first arrived, the last two people to shake hands had been Grace and Belle._

"_Hello Ana"_

"_Grace"_

_Besides Dan, Mia's smile looked frozen, in front of him Christian's jaws clenched, to his left Elliot shifted uncomfortably. _

_With a nod, Grace added: "Thank you for coming today. I hope you know how much it means to all of us."_

_Then all of a sudden Ava and Samantha were taking Eddy and the rest of the younger generation to 'show you around', Elliot turned to him and launched into an apology for the way he had behaved that first night in Carolina, Paul started talking to Christian and Mia placed herself next to her husband effectively blocking Christian, leaving Grace and Belle to make their way to a group of chairs at the far end of the room._

It had seemed odd for the five of them to remain standing where they were, with Elliot moving onto discussing mountains and the beauty of the nearby glacier. The reason had become apparent when Dan noticed Elliot's eyes darting towards his brother. Christian's expression could have been mistaken for one of deep concentration had his gaze not kept moving away from Paul and towards the two women seated far enough that their voices only reached them as a soft distant murmur. A few minutes later he wasn't even pretending anymore to keep his mind on the pair in front of him and, judging by the shape of his pocket, his hand had balled into a fist. Mercifully Grace had caught Mia's eye and with the tiniest inclination of her head had given the younger woman permission to approach.

As Mia had made her excuses to go join her mother, she and Christian had engaged in a silent communication, a clash of wills where his glowering look was met by Mia's in a steadfast defiance. Whatever that was about, it had ended with Mia turning around and leaving behind her one seriously pissed off Christian Grey. Then Belle had looked their way, her gaze simply taking in the whole group without resting on anybody in particular. She had seemed okay and Dan would have left it at that, had it not been for Christian's reaction: the line of his shoulders softened, his jaws unclenched and his hand, no longer balled in his pocket, was hospitably indicating a nearby table laden with glasses and drinks.

That was the only confrontation Dan had witnessed and since then Christian had remained mostly relaxed and affable, but the pattern of watching Belle had stuck. While she had been barely glancing in his direction through the morning, his eyes had regularly scanned the room until they found her and then returned to whatever conversation he was engaged in at the time. The 'mostly' part had been the two occasions when Belle had not been in the room. Both times Christian had kept scanning the two entrances – the one from the terrace and the one leading to the corridor and inside the house – until she eventually reappeared. And then the two engaged in a sort of dance around the room: as far as they were from one another initially, minutes later they somehow found themselves in close proximity. Not close enough to touch, never that close, but close enough to hear what the other talked about, close enough that all it would have taken was one more step or a half turn and they could face each other. On such occasions one or the other will suddenly find something to do at the other end of the room… only for the whole thing to start all over again.

Eddy had also witnessed one of those instances when Christian had anxiously waited for Belle's return. The strong physical resemblance to his father was still taking Dan by surprise and it had been awkward to see them interact. When Eddy noticed both Christian's unrest and what brought an end to it, was the only time during the morning Dan had seen his son's expression close off and a frown on his face. Christian however had simply looked back, bearing the brunt of that unspoken question and allowing Eddy to reach his own conclusion. The moment Eddy choose trust and let go of his concern, some heavy weight had found a permanent home in Dan's chest. Those two had a rapport, could read each other and had come long enough in their relationship that they could trust in that.

Surprisingly, despite Eddy's obvious keen interest and Christian's unmistakable joy, each time they had had a moment together they had kept it short and there had been far fewer of those moments than Dan had expected.

"Dan?" Belle's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Hey," he smiled at her. "How are you holding up?"

"Okay, I think," she returned a small smile. "I was talking to Mia before lunch. What would you think about going back to the hotel around five to freshen up and change? We could drive back before dinner."

"Sure. I could do with moving about a little anyway. I might have overindulged in some of those triple layer concoctions," he admitted with a sheepish grin, referring to the sandwiches Grace's house keeper had piled high on the plates for their informal lunch.

With a more genuine smile, Belle suggested: "We could take a walk around the grounds."

As the two of them reached the corner of the house, from the other side of the stairs leading to the first floor terrace, Christian and Eddy emerged from the house walking side by side. Unwilling to interrupt, Dan and Ana paused on their side of the stairs to give the two some space, but only a few steps from the entrance Eddy stopped walking, forcing Christian to do the same. Whatever Eddy was saying, it was clearly making him uncomfortable and he kept running his hand through his hair, while Christian listened, relaxed and attentive.

Finished talking, Eddy's arms dropped to his sides and for a moment both of them seemed to just stand there, then Christian reached out to rest a hand on Eddy's arm, his face taut, questioning….

When Eddy nodded in assent, Christian's face lit up. Shoulders pushed back, head held high and his feet at shoulder width, his chest filled with one big breath and a smile crinkled the corner of his eyes and stretched the line of his mouth transforming his face.

A brief inclination of Christian's head, Eddy looking embarrassed, then Christian's hand once again reached out to touch Eddy's arm, moved to the middle of his son's back, and for the briefest moment he gathered the young man in an embrace. As Eddy returned his gesture, their hands remained on each other's arms for another second and then they parted.

As the two sat down, their backs to the house and their faces hidden from everybody else, Dan knew there was no way in hell he would step anywhere close to them in that particular moment. With little doubt in his mind as to just what Eddy could have said to cause Christian to go from relaxed to worried to that top-of-the –world moment, he turned on his heel to retrace his steps, and only then remembered Belle had been just beside him. One look at her frozen face and eyes filled with tears was enough for him to reach out and gently stir her back towards the table.

For several seconds they just sat on the bench, until Ana had collected herself enough to be able to speak.

"I'm sorry Dan. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you."

"I'm all right," Dan reassured her. "It's harder than I thought it would be, but not so hard that I would take this away from Eddy. But this has obviously gotten to you and…not in a good way," he gently prayed.

Closing her eyes, her lungs only able to accept shallow short breaths, Ana admitted "It's the memories," then opened blue eyes filled with sadness and regret, "The last time they…were like that and the lost time between then and now."

He would have thought that to see Christian happy and reunited with his son would have made her happy too. He could have understood if it made her feel guilty, but the profound sorrow in her eyes was something he had not seen since…

_They were at the hospital with Emma, she was still sleeping after the surgery and the doctor was rambling on about risks and good omens and about the scars, the way her leg will look like once the wounds had healed._

With his sudden insight, Dan straightened up and called her to the here and now: "Belle, look at me. Christian has also made his choices in this. He could have stepped in at any time. He has decided, time and time again, that Eddy would be happier with us, not knowing about him. The whole security thing and the way our life styles are worlds apart…I don't think one can be part of his life on a part time basis, certainly not for someone as close to him as his son. So unless you think that had you not left Seattle the two of you might still be together, he might have made this choice anyway. He didn't even tell you that he has found you, and from where I sit he has done this so that neither you nor Eddy knew he was deliberately keeping himself away."

She didn't look as if his words had made a difference so Dan sighed: "He is a man, Belle. Even if you have forced his hand, he would want to have…responsibility for his life, for how he dealt with the consequences. You assuming your share of the blame is one thing, but otherwise I'm fairly certain he would rather have you respect his choices than feel sorry for him."

Having said his piece, Dan simply waited until her eyes started moving again, some life returned to her gaze and her face was no longer etched in pain.

"How is it going with everybody else?" he changed the subject.

"Better than I thought it would," Ana admitted, still a little distracted by Dan's words. At least the part about Christian not wanting her pity sounded truer than Dan would ever know. He had never wanted her sorrow or even her compassion for the little boy he had been before Grace found him…Frowning as something occurred to her, she asked: "Did you talk to Grace?"

"I did, why?"

"She has been…distant, formal, earlier, but she was making an effort at lunch."

"I'm glad," Dan simply replied.

Watching his warm gaze and…happy smile, Ana wondered at this man who apparently had swayed Grace in her favor. "What did you tell her?"

Christian's massive worry during those first few minutes when Grace had taken Belle to the side had proven justified. Although Belle had seemed okay, Grace had certainly remained…aloof during the rest of the morning. He had not found an opportunity to do anything about that until just before lunch, when most of the others had dispersed around the house and he was left with Mia and Grace in the living room. Then Mia went to see about lunch and he and Grace had had a chance for a private conversation.

_Grace started by thanking him for agreeing to the meeting, but then surprised him by not changing the subject to something more neutral._

"_I hope you will not think me presumptuous for saying this, but thank you for being there for…Eddy, for loving him and for raising him into such an accomplished and grounded young man. The way he has handled all of this is…more than anybody could expect."_

_Putting his faith in the woman's intelligence he had decided it was worth a shot to try and make a point._

"_Thank you, but I didn't do it alone."_

_Grace's earnest expression immediately tensed and for a moment he glimpsed the deep hurt this woman was hiding behind impeccable manners and polite smiles, then the shadow was gone and in a carefully neutral tone she conceded: "I never doubted Anastasia would be a good mother."_

_That was such a thinly veiled dismissal, that he could not let it pass. _

"_This whole idea of a reunion: it was easy to encourage E…Teddy to meet his father and his family while we were in our home. Being here, is more difficult than I had counted on, so I understand a little better where you are all coming from when it comes to Belle. But even if Eddy and his mother are at odds with each other right now - and maybe that will last for a while - she is his mother."_

"I just reminded her that you are Eddy's mother," he admitted.

As her eyes once again filled with tears and her expression changed to one of gratitude, Dan decided to nip that in the bud: "How about we put this to rest for now? With everything that's already going on between everybody, I don't think we can go back in there with you looking as if you've been crying."

Shaking her head at him to let him know she knew exactly what he was doing, Ana nevertheless did as she was told and wiped her tears away.

"Better," Dan smiled. "For a moment there I thought we'd need whatever magic they used to dry Nick's T-shirt."

_Him and Grace had just emerged on the covered patio where lunch was going to be served._

_Nick, Mia's twins, Emma and Christina were chasing each other, water bottles at the ready, doing their best to splash each other. The limited range of their 'weapons' meant they had to get quite close to score a hit and Nick had just deflected Emma's attempt by simply grabbing her arm and twirling her until she was imprisoned in a half embrace, her back to his chest. To add insult to injury he had retrieved her water bottle and was enthusiastically drinking from it, safe from any other assault as he held her like a human shield. Eddy, Samantha and Ave had been watching from the sidelines when Ava suddenly turned to her companions, whispered something then stealthily advanced until she was right behind Nick and swiftly dribbled a few drops of water on his back._

_Releasing Emma, Nick whirled to face his assailant who just stood there daring him, and then relaxed when he realized who that was. Shaking his head at her he smirked: "Now you and I both know there is no way in hell I'm spraying water all over you, Cousin Ava."_

"_Spoil sport," Ava pouted then grinned at him: "Team?"_

_As the two of them started chasing the others, Nick deliberately took several hits to protect Ava, until he finally caught on. "You've been doing this on purpose, haven't you?"_

"_Now you and I both know there is no way in hell you'll let anybody spray water all over me, Cousin Nick," she smirked, distracting him long enough for the others to gang up and positively soak him._

Ana and Dan were still chuckling at the memory as Teddy came out of the house and joined them at the table.

**AN: Next week - although it might be Sunday rather than Saturday - Ch55 All hell breaks loose**


	58. Summer Storm ch55 Afternoon surprise

**AN: Apologies for the messed up chapter numbering last week. I deleted one chapter after I posted the new one and naturally FanFic renumbered everything...**

**Here goes a chapter for which some of the scenes and most of the dialogue have been rattling in my head since that time long ago when this story was little more than a vague idea, an unsettling feeling, a voice that will no longer be silenced.**

Ch 55 Afternoon surprise

"Hi," Teddy said, a little uneasy.

As all trace of amusement slowly bled off Belle's face to be replaced by some conflicted expression, Dan filled his lungs with enough air to last him for a full sentence.

"Eddy. Want to join us?"

"I don't mean to interrupt," Eddy replied his eyes darting from one parent to the other.

"You aren't, please sit with us," Ana hurried to reassure him.

Eddy sat heavily on the bench and propped his elbows on the table, stapling his hands in front of him.

"Everything okay? You look…worried," Dan prompted.

"There's something I think you should know," Eddy looked at him, his eyes briefly flickering to his mother.

"I'll leave you to it," Ana said getting the hint, hiding her disappointment behind a forced smile as she stood.

"Mom," the strain in Eddy's voice stopped her from walking away. "This concerns you too," he said including both his parents in his gaze. "I have just told Christian about the name change."

Understanding that was the moment she had witnessed between Teddy and Christian, Ana swayed under the sudden wave of conflicting emotions. Her knees bent, powerless to hold her, and she had to reach out a hand to steady herself against the table before she slid back onto the bench.

"I thought you would be glad," Eddy said, unsure how to interpret her reaction, not yet daring to meet Dan's eyes.

"I…I am," Ana managed, "for you and for Christian."

Knowing he couldn't put it off any longer, Eddy turned his head to his dad.

Knowing Eddy must have seen the strain on his face, Dan hurried to at least provide an explanation: "I think we saw that. We didn't mean to pry; we were just around the house a moment ago." Collecting himself he added: "I thought you might do that at some point today. You don't need to worry, Eddy. I know you have two families, that's what today is about."

What he had intended as a reassurance had the opposite effect and Eddy now looked worried **and** sad. Dan managed a deeper breath: "As much as I can try, I don't really fit in here, Eddy. This is just not my world. But it is yours. I might not be family with these people, but after today we are no longer strangers."

Almost an hour since that talk with Eddy, Dan still couldn't shake the feeling that he had let his son down. It was the best he had to give. At least it was the honest truth. In the past few hours he had gotten to know all the Greys and gotten to talk to all of them. He had found himself talking sports with Elliot, martial arts and dance classes for the children with Mia, hiking –or rather their lack of experience with the practice – with Paul and even got caught in a discussion of brand beers v. microbrews with both Elliot and Christian...Not everything was up for discussion though. As a rule they had all avoided discussing their past histories. Even when conversations got personal, they were about the present or the future. Nobody had mentioned Katherine - although she was Elliot's wife and Ava's mother and used to be Belle's best friend - and no one even hinted that Belle and Christian had once had a relationship.

Outside, Nick, Eddy and Mia's boys, were taking over the lawn. Vaguely wondering how the children had dealt with all the subjects the older generation carefully avoided, Dan leaned against the rail to enjoy what looked like a demonstration of European football. Elliot and Paul joined him on the balcony while below them, in the shadow under the balcony, Ava, Samantha, Emma and Christina sat on the warm tiles of the paved stone entrance.

"Do you play Paul?" Elliot asked

"Not as well as the boys, but I can shoot a ball if I have to," Paul modestly said. "Do you?"

"Not since college. I wonder if it's like riding a bike. Dan, have you ever tried it?"

"No," Dan shook his head, "and as you can see this is also Nick and Eddy's first attempt," he chuckled as Nick's ball entered a spin, rolled through the air and landed wide of its intended destination.

"Soccer?" Christian's voice asked from behind him.

"Yeah, Paul's boys are putting on quite a show," Elliot confirmed.

"I see what you mean," Christian laughed as one of the boys effortlessly dribbled around Teddy and kicked the ball straight into the goal area.

All four watched in companionable silence for a few minutes, then Paul shouted: "Fault!" at one of the boys tripping the other and added "It looks like they could do with a referee."

"Why don't we join them and ensure the game stays clean?" Elliot chipped in.

"You've played in college, haven't you?" Christian narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"Yup."

Clearly tempted, Christian nevertheless took a moment to consider then shook his head. "You and I going at each other is not the example I want to set, so I think I'll pass."

"Dan?" Elliot asked.

"Uh, no thanks. You really don't need another player with two left feet down there."

With Paul and Elliot's addition, things were getting serious on the grass. Now shirtless, the six players had divided themselves in two teams and the girls had formed two cheerleader groups.

"Goal!" Elliot shouted and high-fived Nick, while Teddy patiently nodded as one of the twins was lecturing him about his goalkeeping skills.

His gaze still on the football game, watching Teddy as if trying to memorize every move, Christian broke the silence on the balcony: "I don't know that there are words to express how grateful I am for everything you have done, for everything you have been and are for Teddy." Turning his head to meet Dan's eyes he added: "You also have my profound gratitude for agreeing to this, agreeing to have me in his life."

It was a strange moment to have this powerful, self-assured man, acknowledge him and recognize his contribution. Everything about Christian oozed sincerity and Dan found himself suddenly battling emotions he had barely acknowledged until now.

"I'm glad I could support him, but Eddy has a tendency to make his own choices, make up his own mind," he admitted, "and I also owe you a debt of gratitude for the help through the years. I know you were behind the help with our house and Emma doesn't even know how close she was to…" Dan held his breath to keep his voice steady, "never learn how to dance," was all he could say without the retrospective fear getting the better of him.

"I'm glad I could help. I'm sorry that it was needed," those gray eyes remained on Dan. "It was the least I could do."

Having said their piece, Christian and Dan returned their attention to the game on the lawn. In this moment of openness and honesty, Dan was slightly uncomfortable sitting on information that would be a game changer for Christian, yet to bring up the end of his marriage to Belle would be like handing her to him on a plate. It was not his decision to make and for some reason his mind rebelled against the notion. He and Belle might be over, but Christian will have to fight his own battles if he wanted her.

With his own mind at rest on that point, Dan chose to address something else. As Christian had earlier, he kept his eyes on the game while he said: "I know Eddy has told you about the name change. This is perhaps not the time or the place to have that discussion, but I would like to know what to expect, and what Eddy can expect, when his connection to you becomes public."

And that was how, both leaning against the rail guard to watch the boys play an impromptu game of football, Dan found himself co-parenting with Christian Grey.

With the rest of the gang coming back upstairs and everybody once again merrily chatting away, Dan started looking forward to going back to the hotel for a while. The table by the door was however being cleared to make room for tea and coffee, so he knew he would have to wait a little longer.

Grace and Ava were seated in the armchairs by the fireplace with Emma and Christina on the couch facing them, their heads barely visible above the backrest. Deciding that was more company than he was in the mood for, he chose a seat on the opposite side of the fireplace. Elliot was the next person to arrive and he immediately made a beeline for two of the beers remaining on the table, then came to join him. He barely had the time to thank Elliot, when Christian and Nick arrived and…yes, there it was: Christian's eyes scanning the room, coming up empty. Wondering if this was as obvious to others as it was to him, Dan noticed Christian placing himself where he could watch both doors. He didn't have to wait long as Belle and Mia also arrived and took in the rest of the room, then Belle remained talking to Mia by the table, her back to Christian and Nick.

When Paul stepped through the door, Mia immediately waved him over to join her and Belle and, fascinated, Dan watched both Belle and Christian move a little in Paul's direction. Still talking to Nick, each time Christian moved it was to shift a little closer towards the other group and Belle had now moved almost all the way around Paul, once again placing her with her back to the middle of the room. She was still facing away from Christian but she was now only two steps away from him. As Christian handed Nick a business card, something Mia said made him look her way. Suddenly looking all business, Christian briskly turned to Paul and whatever he said ended with all three men making their way to the terrace and down the outdoor stairs.

Caught up in observing that little scene, Dan had all but forgotten about the man sat next to him. His embarrassment was however short lived as Elliot himself was just now turning his eyes way from watching his brother's hasty retreat.

"I think they are headed for the wine cellar," Elliot tried to cover his tracks,

Perhaps it was the long day getting to him, or perhaps he was less skilled at casually ignoring the elephant in the room, but Dan found himself unable to come with a suitable reply. When Mia and Belle also left the room, he settled for lifting his bottle in a salute of sorts before taking a mouthful of the cold beverage.

"For what it's worth," Elliot sighed, "I don't think they are aware they are doing that."

Surprised, Dan's head snapped to meet Elliot's concerned stare. Saving him from the need to reply, Ava's surprised shout caused all eyes to turn first to her and then towards the door.

"Mom?!"

Turning around then standing so fast the chair wobbled and fell behind him, Elliot took a step away from Dan.

"Kate?!"

Kate's eyes were however glued to the group by the fireplace, her pre-prepared greeting stuck in her throat and her smile frozen in place as Emma joined the chorus of surprised greetings: "Aunt Kate?!"

"Kate? What are you doing here?" Mia interjected from behind the new arrival, then frowned, looking from Emma to Kate: "Aunt Kate?! You know each other?"

While Grace and Mia looked confused and Emma started to look embarrassed, Dan decided to put everybody out of their misery. Standing, he moved away from the chair and from Elliot and drew everybody's attention to himself as he indirectly answered Mia's question.

"Hello Katherine."

"Dan?! What's going on here?" Kate finally found her voice.

Several replies, none of them adequate, flashed through Dan's mind. Before he could settle on any of them a voice he barely recognized whipped through the air: "What the** hell** do you think you are doing, Kate?"

Behind Kate, Ana stood next to Teddy and Samantha, arms loaded with dishes and cutlery. The unmistakable anger in her voice was still ringing in the air as Kate whirled around and stammered: "Ana?!"

In the frozen silence, Kate's eyes widened as understanding dawned.

"Oh, I see. How stupid of me to not think of this!" she theatrically waved her arm in front of her. "It's because of you, isn't it?" she accused, then turned to look over the rest of them and fixed her gaze on Grace.

"It doesn't matter what **she** does, does it? All she has to do is show up for all of you to just get together and smile at each other as if nothing ever happened."

The loud clang of cutlery dropped on a hard surface caused people to visibly twitch all around the room. Apparently oblivious to the effect on others, Ana growled: "How dare you put this on Grace? "

Her voice raising and her petite frame humming with tension, Ana's eyes blazed with fury as she took a menacing step towards Katherine Grey.

"I'm right here and you and I know exactly what part you have played in what happened between me and this family. So if you want to keep up your little charade, be my guest, but don't you dare put any blame on any of them, because I'm not going to stand by and let you tear this family apart. Not again Kate."

"I'm tearing the family apart? Why? Because I didn't tell you they wanted to talk to you? I didn't stop them from coming to you and I didn't stop you from going to them, your father did that," Kate shot back.

"Ana," Elliot took a step towards the two, "perhaps this is…"

"You're blaming Ray? You lied to him Kate! You lied to Ray and you lied to me and you lied to the Greys until none of us knew what was going on anymore," Ana replied, completely ignoring Elliot.

"Fine. I lied," Kate spat the words, stopping Elliot in his tracks. "Do you feel better now that everybody knows I lied? Does it change anything?"

"You stole my life!"

"How did I steal your life?!"

"You lied to protect what you had with Elliot and didn't give a damn about what it was doing to me or to my family," Ana informed her, the white hot fury turning into rage as she got close enough to Kate to literally be in her face. "You stood by and watched me fall apart and did nothing. You got to keep **your** family and **your** life by sacrificing mine, that's how."

"I sacrificed your life?! Have you forgotten who the real culprit is? Look behind you! She's standing right there, the reminder of your husband's affair!" Kate shot her arm in Samantha's direction.

As ten pairs of eyes reflexively followed the pointing finger and landed on the same target, Sam's eyes widened until most of the green had disappeared.

Her strangled "WHAT?! NO!" almost drowned in the simultaneous shocked shouts of "MOM!" and "KATE!" from Ava, Mia and Elliot. Before anybody else could react, before they even recovered enough to peel their eyes from Christian's daughter, the unmistakable sound of a slap on bare flesh resonated through the room.

"Run, Kate!" Ana nailed her former friend with an icy stare as she dropped her arm, the imprint of her palm already starting to show on Katherine's face.

Unwilling to waste another second of her life on this person, Ana whirled around to where Samantha had been standing, only to find both she and Teddy were no longer there. Ignoring the cacophony of shouts behind her, she headed to the door only to find herself needing to choose whether to go right or left. Suddenly Christian's voice resonated covering all others: "What's going on here?"

In the momentary silence, Teddy's pleas coming from somewhere to the left provided all the guidance she needed.

She found him just past the stairs, standing outside the closed door of a guest bathroom.

"They don't mean that, you have to know it. Please come out. We'll sort this out, okay? Just come out."

"Teddy," Ana gently interrupted her son. "May I?"

Teddy's eyes as he turned to look at her were full or worry and hurt, his hair was in disarray, one hand not just running through it but pulling at large chunks of his light brown locks. Clamping down on the surge of memories, Ana held his stare, doing her best to convey reassurance and calm. Clearly torn, Teddy however took half a step to the side, allowing her to reach the side of the door.

"Samantha?" she said, placing her hand flat on the wood, irrationally hoping the young girl could somehow feel the connection. "It's Ana. I'm sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have provoked Kate like that. I just want you to know that this is not how I see you or think of you. I would never do that and I'm sure the rest of the family are with me on this."

The silence behind the door was now replaced by muffled sobs and Teddy moved closer, his hand already on the handle, obviously getting ready to force the door if he had to.

"Teddy," Ana said, stopping him from uselessly twisting the knob, "as much as she needs to know we are here she needs this time to herself. Give her a moment, okay?"

He was not convinced and she needed his cooperation.

"One day, if you want to hear about it, I'll try to explain," she said, " but for now please believe me when I say I understand how Samantha must feel after what Kate said, and I would never want anyone to feel like that or allow them to carry that kind of burden around."

Hesitantly, Teddy tore his eyes from his mother to look at the closed door, then let go of the knob and rapped his knuckles on the door.

"Sam? My mom is here and she would like to talk to you. I'll be here too or I can just make sure nobody else comes around. Would you hear her out?"

The sound of the door unlocking surprised both of them, and then it opened to reveal Samantha, her head held high but her red-rimmed eyes harboured a lost and hurt look that tore at Ana's heart. Before she could think it through, she reached out and touched the girl's arm.

"Sweetheart," is all she could say, letting her hand glide down the arm until it reached the wrist, then the back of the hand. As her gesture was not met with any resistance, she turned her palm to take the girl's hand in hers and gently pull her out of the bathroom. With no obvious nearby place to sit, Ana settled for the steps of the stairs.

"Come sit down," she said and waited for Samantha to take the step out into the corridor.

As soon as Samantha sat down, Ana turned to Teddy.

"Christian had just arrived as I left the room. Will you let him know where we are?"

Both Teddy and Samantha tensed at that reminder but then Sam gave Teddy a little nod and, reluctantly, he left in search for his father.

"I heard what you said to Teddy," Samantha admitted, a mixture of anguish and hope in her face.

"I didn't mean for any of you to know that. It's not a secret but…this is not about me. I don't know how much time we'll have before Christian gets here, so please hear me out. Can you do that?"

A little calmer, Samantha simply nodded.

"We have only just met, you and I and we don't really know each other, but Teddy knows you and he has learned to do that in times that were, still are, difficult for him. He tells me you are smart and funny and kind, and sensitive to other's needs. Regardless of who your parents or your friends are, that is who **you** are and I'm happy that you are in Christian's life."

For a moment hope glimmered in Samantha's eyes, but then sadness took over and she shook her head.

"You didn't see them look at me."

"They looked because someone was pointing a finger. I'm sure they were shocked and appalled. This family loves you, you are important to them. Surely you know that?"

"Perhaps, but it doesn't mean what Aunt Kate said wasn't true. Every time they see me they think dad…"

"Had an affair?" Ana gently finished Sam's sentence, making the young girl blush. "I haven't been a part of this family for many years, but the way I know them, what matters is that you **are** part of the family, not how that came to be. If I weren't sure they could see past the circumstances, I would have never brought Emma and Nick to this meeting."

Somewhere in the middle of that speech Samantha's eyes had started to shine a little brighter, yet now they were rapidly filling up with tears. Sam was not even looking at her anymore. Turning her head to follow Sam's gaze clarified matters: only three steps away, Christian was standing in the middle of the corridor.

With one more look towards Samantha, Ana made a move to let go of the hand she had been holding all this time, just for Sam to hold onto hers.

"Thank you, for everything you said," Sam said.

"I meant every word, Sam."

"I know," Sam said, her eyes darting to her father.

"I'd better leave the two of you to talk," Ana said, slowly standing up.

Her hope of getting past Christian in the relatively small space was immediately dealt a blow as his eyes glided away from his daughter and landed on her. Then he broke their unspoken agreement of no touching.

"Ana," he called, placing his hand on her naked upper arm.

For the second time that day she found herself looking up into his eyes.

"Thank you," he said, his voice so thick she could barely discern the words. "What you just said…you have no idea what it means to me and to Samantha."

She might have stood a chance if he had only looked at her, but to hear him thank her was too much and she felt the heat spreading to her cheeks. With him standing so close, for just a moment she let go and leaned into his hand, her own arm irresistibly drawn to him until her fingers lightly touched the sleeve of his shirt. And then she remembered where they were and let her arm drop and her legs support her full body weight. Not trusting her voice yet, all she could do was nod.

As Christian's frown immediately deepened, she took a deep breath and steeled herself to inject some strength in her words: "Samantha needs you."

That seemed to have done the trick. As his eyes moved away from her and back to his daughter, she took the opportunity to take a step away.

"Teddy," Christian called, his voice still strained.

Teddy and Ava were just a few steps behind Christian and all it took was that single word and a glance between him and Christian for him to move closer to his mother. As if released from an invisible restraint, Christian covered the distance between him Samantha in two long strides and engulfed her in a bear hug while she leaned into him, sobbing her heart out.

On cue Ava's eyes also filled with tears and Ana moved closer to her, Teddy following close behind.

"Ava, I'm sorry for what happened earlier," she said.

"What about Sam?" Ava enquired.

"Sam is okay. Maybe not right now, but soon. Shall we go back inside, give them some privacy?"

Removing themselves from the corridor proved unnecessary, as under Christian's guidance he and Samantha made their way down the stairs, then headed out onto the patio to sit on the bench.

Holding Samantha close to him as she was still clutching his shirt, her head buried in his chest, Christian murmured his apology.

"I'm sorry Sam. I promise no one looks at you like that. Mom is besides herself. She wanted to come with me, so did Mia and Elliot. **I** didn't let them. Please say something."

"Just hold me," Sam finally managed.

"Always. I'll always hold you. You know that."

Several seconds passed and although Sam was no longer sobbing, neither had she moved her head from his chest or said anything else. Unable to take the silence anymore, Christian moved one arm from around her shoulders to stroke her head instead and gently enticed her: "Tinker Bell?"

Finally, finally she let go a little and to his relief she chuckled.

"You have not called me that in a while."

"As I recall you forbade me to. Perhaps I should apologize…"

"No. It's okay. I kind of missed it."

"You did?"

"Mhmm," Sam nodded and with a shuddering breath lifted her head enough to rest it on his shoulder instead.

Rewarding her with a kiss on the top of her head, Christian tightened his arm around her.

"You have to tell them dad," she said, the words sending a cold shiver down his spine despite the scorching heat. "Dad?" she looked up at him as he remained motionless and quiet.

"I know," he admitted.

"Today," she insisted.

"Samantha_"

"Please dad," Samantha raised her head to look at her father. "I can't go back into that room and pretend anymore. Teddy knows, but nobody else does. Do you have any idea how hard it was to listen to his mom talk to me and not tell her? She came after me, dad! She deserves to know. Of all the people in that room, I want the rest to know just so I can figure out who will still be in my life once they know the truth, but she deserves to know, just like Teddy did, before she and I can have a relationship."

"It's not that simple, Sam," Christian sighed.

At her questioning look he tucked her head back onto his shoulder and placed another kiss on the top of her head.

"Ana has built her life around what she believes happened between the two of us. Once she finds out all of that was a misunderstanding… it will crush her," he explained, one hand absentmindedly caressing her head.

"So…you weren't going to tell her? But Teddy knows…"

Raising her head again Samantha searched her father's face for clues: "When I asked you to tell Teddy, you did that for me?! You didn't want them to know?"

"I think I was just…procrastinating. Ideally, there wouldn't be anything **to** know," Christian admitted.

"And the rest of them? The rest of the family?"

"We've talked about this before," Christian frowned. "You know I don't think it matters."

"But, dad!" Samantha exclaimed, horrified. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Tell you what?"

"I didn't realize…I just wanted them to know the truth about me. I thought it was just a legal matter and a security issue. I never thought it would cause trouble for you and Ana!"

"Sam, slow down. It **was** a legal matter and a security issue."

"No," she said. "When I asked you to tell them, it was the day before Teddy came to Seattle."

"Yes."

"You asked me how important it was to me."

"And you said it was important. Why are you so upset about this?"

"Because you chose me!"

"Of course I chose you," Christian said and finally got it…sort of. "Sam, are you telling me you doubted I would choose you?"

The heat rising in her cheeks was all the answer he needed. Stunned, hurt, he couldn't help a hint of accusation from seeping through as he asked: "How long have you felt like this?"

"A while. Forever. I'm grateful that you took me in and raised me and that I have you and it makes me sad to see that you are not happy. When you laugh it's not for very long and sometimes you get this far away look…I thought it was about Teddy so I was happy for you when you got in touch with him_"

"Samantha," Christian reached to grab her face and hold her where he could see her, then let his other hand cares her cheek until he ended cupping her face in both of his hands. His eyes searching hers for any sign that he had misunderstood, he put all the gentleness he could muster in his voice to enquire: "You thought I would choose Teddy? You never gave me even a hint that you felt insecure. You wanted to meet him. You asked me -begged me -to meet him."

"I wanted you to be happy."

"Sam," Christian choked on the word and took a deep breath to regain some composure, "do you still feel that way?"

"No. Teddy is great and I think we can be…friends."

"But?" he said.

"There are just too many secrets, dad. I never know…I don't know what will happen, what might happen. I have seen her pictures and I know you have the Fourth of July videos and I have seen you watch her, but I didn't quite get it until today how much she means to you. And now because of me you'll have to tell her…" Samantha brought her hands up to cover her face and muffle her sobs as her shoulders once again started shaking.

He could probably count the times he had cried on the fingers of one hand, but as he crushed his daughter to his chest, Christian's eyes were unmistakably rapidly filling up with the unfamiliar moisture.

"Tinker Bell, listen to me. You are my daughter. I'm your father. Nothing, no one, will ever change that. My problems, the problems I have caused, are mine, and mine alone. None of this is or will ever be your fault."

**AN Next chapter - Ripping off the veils and dispersing the smoke, time for some long over due confessions. I'll do my best to have it up next weekend...**


	59. Summer Storm Ch56 The eye of the storm

**AN: Not fallen off the planet, just got really really busy, which is likely to continue for the next three months or so, which means updates will most likely be fortnightly. We do have a couple of bank holidays but selling/buying and then moving house is an inordinately time consuming affair...**

**PS no full CG confession in this one, took all I had to just get Christian, Elliot, Ana and Grace away from the other dozen people milling about the house.**

Ch 56 The eye of the storm

No amount of reassurance would convince Ava that her cousin was going to be all right, and so Ana left her and Teddy to wait for Samantha, and returned alone to the living room. In stark contrast to the mayhem she had left behind, the room was eerily quiet. Grace and Mia sat by the table near the door engaged in a hushed conversation, while at the far end Dan and Nick sat on the couch. Only acknowledging Grace and Mia with a glance she walked past them and join her family.

"I'm sorry for what happened," she said. "Where is Emma?"

"Downstairs. Paul took the children via the terrace to the games room. Are you okay?" Dan asked.

"Yes, I am. I never wanted for this to happen, but now that it has…at least it's out in the open. Was Emma okay?"

"She felt guilty that she had also looked at Samantha with the rest of us. I talked to her until she was okay to go with Christina and the others."

"And you?" Ana asked Nick.

"I can't believe you did that, slapping someone, but otherwise," Nick shrugged, "this is one big…mess," he stumbled over the word, "so I don't really know what to make of it."

"I know. I'm sorry any of you had to see that. As I said, at least everything is now out in the open, so there's that. Although I'll have to talk to Grace and to Mia," she sighed.

"I told them that it is up to you what you want to tell them," Dan informed her.

"It's probably for the best, thank you."

"You don't have to do this," Dan said.

"Yes, I do. I started it, I'm going to see it through. I'll be fine," Ana found a tiny smile.

Convincing the two that she will be fine and she would rather they stayed with Emma, she accompanied them as far as the terrace.

"Dan, what happened after I left? I could hear people shouting but I didn't stop to listen," she said, stopping Dan from following Nick down the stairs.

"Short version or the long one," Dan sighed.

"Uh, short, I suppose."

"Christian arrived just as you left and called Katherine out on being here. She was still stammering through an apology to everyone so he caught on that she had upset Samantha and was about to go ballistic. Elliot interfered. He pointed out that most of what Kate had said was actually directed at him?" Dan ended the sentence in a question mark.

"Damn. I suppose it makes sense," Ana looked sad and weary, then shook her head. "It's not my place to tell, Dan, but it does."

A little weary of Grey drama himself, Dan let the matter drop. "Anyway, Katherine wanted to stay and apologize but Christian was getting angrier for every second he was kept in the dark and Grace and Mia didn't look interested in an apology either, so Elliot put his foot down and escorted her out of the room. "

"Does Christian know what she said, about Samantha?"

"Grace told him. He ordered security to ensure Katherine got on a plane back to Seattle, then instructed all of us to '_stay here'_. He didn't stop Ava and Eddy from following him, but the look he sent his mother and sister…" Dan shrugged.

Ana didn't need a detailed description to imagine Christian's stare. Born in the deepest recess of his being, piercing through the veneer of civilization to threaten violence against anyone who dared cross him… A little pale she leaned against the door for support.

"He was hurt. It's what he does," she explained when Dan looked concerned. She took a deep breath. "I'd better go. Will you be okay with Emma and Nick?"

xXx

As soon as she sunk in one of the free chairs around the table, Grace turned sad, troubled eyes to her.

"Anastasia, perhaps I don't have the right to ask you this, but I am hoping that you would be willing to explain to us some of what has just transpired."

The formality was a defence, Grace's way of trying to cope. Not letting it get to her, Ana nodded.

"If I can. What would you like to know?"

"You and Katherine were friends. She obviously knows your family," Grace said with a pointed stare and a hint of accusation, "I thought your anger at her presence was because she inadvertently spilled that little secret, but then your accusations…" Grace shook her head and admitted "I don't understand any of this."

"Kate and I were friends," Ana nodded. "I didn't know she has betrayed that friendship until three months ago."

"You didn't mention Katherine when you came to Bellevue, yet your accusations tonight implicate her in what happened."

"Grace, Kate is Elliot's wife and Ava's mother. What she did or didn't do should have remained between me and her. It doesn't change what happened. It doesn't change the fact that my father should have talked to me or that I should have been stronger and fought for my life and for my son."

"Has she always known where you were?" Mia interfered.

"No," Ana said. "Dad called her at the end of May. She came to visit us a couple of weeks later."

Quiet, a bleak look on his face and dull eyes not meeting any of their gazes, Elliot returned to the living room and joined them at the table.

"Kate is on her way back to Seattle," he offered. "When was that? When did she come to Rock Hill?" he added proving that he had overheard some of the earlier conversation.

Over the next half hour or so they each filled in a little bit of the puzzle.

Understanding that Kate's decision to return to work that summer had been a pretext to go visit Ana, torn between the betrayal of another lie and the need to defend his wife, Elliot painted the picture of how lonely Kate had been in the months following Ava's birth. Sadness and regret rather than bitterness coloured his voice as he reminded them that at the time Mia was in Italy, Carrick was preoccupied with having lost so much of Christian's money, Grace was still reeling from 'taking care of Christian', Christian himself remained so withdrawn he hadn't seen Ava until she was a month old, Ethan was on his finding himself trip around the world and Donald was still refusing to leave the house, even to visit his daughter. Despite visits from Kate's mother, the grandparents and a few friends, it was a far cry from the family tripping over each other in their efforts to see and spend time with a new born Teddy.

Ana shared how she had accidentally found out about Christian's second marriage and this time consciously decided to move on with her own life, leading to meeting Dan that winter and marrying him a year later. Grace and Mia had already figured out Christian had been aware of Kate's acquaintance with the Parsons and only learned of just how regular her visits had been.

In her turn Ana learned that Samantha's mother had left the girl when she was three months old and as far as anybody knew had not been in touch since.

Actions that could not be undone, missed opportunities, consequences no one could have foreseen… Whether by taking each other for granted, doing or saying the wrong thing or simply not taking action, they had all at one point or another contributed to the current situation. Perhaps even more painful was the realization that despite the shared responsibility, the guilt and the genuine desire to make things better, the Greys would never be the same.

Stunned, hurt, remorseful, the four of them were still struggling to adjust their mental image of their family and their interactions, when Paul, Nick and the younger children returned to the living room.

Weary, his patience obviously running thin, Paul informed them: "Christian has asked us to return here. Everybody else is on their way back as well. He wants to talk to all of us."

xXx

By the time Christian and Samantha were ready to return to the house, security had informed him that Katherine Kavanagh had boarded the jet and was on her way to Seattle. That issue will have to be followed up come Monday, but for now he had other, more pressing concerns.

Teddy and Ava were waiting at the bottom of the stairs and as the two girls fell into each other's arms he brought Teddy up to speed.

"I am going to let everyone know about Samantha's parentage. Tonight."

After a couple of seconds spent watching the girls draw comfort from each other, Teddy then turned troubled eyes onto his father.

"There will be a lot of questions," Christian warned him, "and I am not prepared to share all of the answers with everyone. I would also like to spare Samantha from having to deal with the immediate aftermath."

"You need my help," Teddy correctly guessed.

"Yes. But it might lead to everyone realizing you already knew."

"That's fine," Teddy answered after just a moment's consideration.

"My mother, Elliot and Ana either already know enough or have a vested interest in this," Christian carefully formulated. "I would like to have a private moment to answer their questions."

"What do you need from me?" Teddy frowned.

"To stay with Samantha while I talk to them."

It wasn't going to be that simple and they both knew it, and then Samantha wanted to share the news with Ava ahead of everybody else. At Sam's request, Teddy went with the girls to 'find a quiet spot', leaving Christian to join the others on his own.

xXx

The sound of the TV and of voices coming from the den informing him that at least some of the others had found their way downstairs, Christian headed that way first.

"I am sorry for what happened earlier," he immediately addressed all of them, "but now that it has, there is something Samantha and I would like to share with all of you. I would be grateful if you could join us in the living room."

"Christian," Paul stood from his armchair, "Mia is still upstairs. I'm sure she has questions and we are all concerned for Samantha, but I am not certain that the rest of us should be involved in what is obviously a family dispute."

"What we have to say concerns everyone who is here today," Christian insisted, including everybody in a sweeping gaze.

With obvious reluctance, Paul rounded his children to make his way past him and, somewhat hesitantly, the Parson's followed his lead.

"Dan, could I have a word?" Christian asked as the rest of them slowly filed out of the room.

With a nod to Nick to go ahead, Dan remained behind. Leaning against the end of the pool table, he waited for the other man to speak his mind.

Christian took a couple of steps to stand in front of Dan. In the short time they had known each other he had developed a considerable amount of respect for this man and it seemed only fair to give him advance warning of what was about to happen.

"Samantha is not my biological daughter."

Dan's momentary surprise was immediately followed by a sense of relief. His instincts had been right: that part had **never** made sense. Then question upon question started knocking each other in his head. Who? Why? When? There were so many possible explanations… but only one justified the fact that Christian had made such a meal out of this.

"There never was an affair," Dan voiced his conclusion.

It wasn't a question, so Christian simply waited. It took Dan a couple of seconds to realize that and so genuinely curious, he asked: "Not that I don't appreciate the warning, but…why tell me ahead of the others?"

"Anastasia is going to have questions and what I have to say will be difficult to hear. If there is anything I can do to make it easier for her to bear hearing the truth, I will."

Christian's words caused an unmistakable shift in their tenuous bond. Feeling as if he were now treading on slippery slope, Dan found himself grateful for the solid feel of the pool table behind him. This was no longer about Emma's surgery or language lessons for the children. This was about a park filled with peonies and Fourth of July fireworks. Christian Grey was no longer trying to forge a connection, he was giving fair warning. The low chuckle Dan felt rising within at the absurdity of the situation was squelched before it bubbled to the surface by the consequences he could begin to glimpse.

His grasp of the reasons behind Belle and Christian's separation felt more tenuous than ever and his apprehension grew. If there never was an affair to begin with…

"What is it you are really asking?" he demanded to know.

"I don't know what will happen next, I just know that I can't let her down again."

Fucking peonies, freaking fireworks and a damn literature award, a doctor for Emma, money for her projects, fixing their house, a ridiculously formal letter quoting a twenty years old email, all flashed through Dan's mind. None of these had been enough. For reasons of her own Belle remained convinced she was not what this man wanted. Now **he** thought he had let **her** down. And both of them were dancing around each other and skirting the issue, avoiding to talk, avoiding to look, avoiding to touch. He had been wrong. This was not a matter of 'may the best man win'. This was about finding closure. With a curt nod he pushed himself away from the pool table.

xXx

Dan entered the living room to find most everyone seated around the table still laden with the tableware for their afternoon tea, and dragged a seat between Belle and Nick. Mia and Paul were having a private conversation at the other end of the room. Elliot was keeping himself to himself, Nick and the twins were back to talking football and Belle was watching Grace engage Emma and Christina in conversation. He had barely had time to check with Belle that she was okay, when Christian arrived, followed by the house keeper.

A few awkward minutes were filled first with Doreen clearing the table to set the tea in the den instead, and then muted conversation ebbing around the table. At one point Christian even stopped pretending he had not noticed Ana's eyes on him and raised his gaze to meet hers. Her questioning stare turning into one of concern, her lips parted but no words left her mouth as the shutters came back down on his momentary vulnerability. His face set in a neutral expression he let his eyes glide away from her and to Dan, then the rest of the group. The tension was becoming palpable when Teddy appeared in the doorway, alone.

"Sam says that you were right, on both counts," he informed Christian. "She and Ava are in the den," he added, then glided into a chair close to his brother.

Rising from his own seat, Christian moved the chair away from the table and placed it where he would be able to see all of them. Sat with his forearms resting on his thighs, his fingers stapled, he raised his head to address the now quiet group.

"What that message means," he began, "is that Samantha has agreed it is better if she is not here for this. It also means that she has finally accepted that what matters is that she is part of the family, not how that came to be."

When he met Ana's eyes, he held her gaze in a steady stare.

"Given what is known of her parentage, to hear that message from you of all people is probably the only way her doubts could finally be put to rest. Now however, she has asked me to correct a misapprehension I have allowed to persist since her birth."

Taking his eyes off Ana for a moment, he let them sweep over the other expectant faces.

"If parents are married when the child is born, the person who gives birth is one legal parent and the spouse is presumed as the second legal parent. Both are automatically listed on the birth certificate and given legal parental rights and obligations."

As expectation turned into apprehension on most of the faces of his audience, Christian returned his gaze to the one person for whom this would make a difference.

"The parental rights thus established do not presume a biological connection. Samantha's birth certificate is legal, despite the lack of such a connection between me and her."

While most of the adults were trying to wrap their minds around Christian's convoluted explanation, Alexander chose an obvious shortcut.

"Pappa, che cosa vuol dire?"

'What does it mean?' – the innocent question rang clear in the deep silence.

Oblivious to the people starting to stir around the table and the murmur of voices rising, Christian stood and gracefully made his way around the table until he stood half an arm length in front of the love of his life. This was above all between the two of them.

One hand left the side of his body and reached towards her. His hand moved almost close enough for his fingertips to brush against a lock of her hair then continued downward, the space of a breath between it and her naked arm and stopped on the armrest of her chair. As if the hand were in control of his whole body, the rest of him followed the downwards movement until he was crouching low enough that their eyes were at the same height.

"There was never going to be a good way to tell you this," he quietly admitted, "but it was no longer possible to not do so. Now that you know, if you have questions I will do my best to answer them. If you want to leave it at this, I will certainly understand. "

"This is more than just about Samantha, isn't it?" Ana asked, as lost in their moment as he was.

"I'm afraid so."

"How much of it…"

The instant pain in his eyes gave her the answer before she even finished the sentence. Old habit kicking in she could feel herself retreating, shutting down, her mind running away from the pain of their past. For one brief second she was back to where all she had left was the memory of those gray eyes looking at her, as troubled then as they were now, and anger finally took over. Not again. She was not going to hurt him again and she was not going to run anymore. And she wanted to know. She wanted to know why he had been haunted then and why he looked so haunted now. They both deserved to know.

"I guess we are not waiting until September anymore," she said, the slight tremble in her voice preventing it from sounding as dead pan as she had intended. But it was enough. In a reaction so typical for Christian it made her heart ache, relief washed over him clearing the clouds in his gaze and relaxing his features only to immediately be replaced by a flash of fear and then the mounting tension of his effort to control his feelings.

Had the other voices been so loud all the time? As if emerging from under water, previously muffled sounds became coherent sentences as he let go of her hand and stood. Slightly dazed he took in the other people in the room and instantly knew he was in trouble. The look on Grace's face was not something he could bear right now. Elliot looked more pissed than he had seen him in a long time and Mia…Even Teddy looked stone faced. Dan had stood up, the carefully neutral expression on his face in strong contrast with Nick's, who made no attempt to disguise his curiosity. On the other side of Ana, Emma had apparently been brought up to speed with all that legal jargon and her eyes were darting all over the other's faces while Paul and his children were still speaking in Italian.

"You'd better have a damn good reason for keeping this from us, Christian," Mia hissed.

"I do, Mia," he sighed.

"Really? Go on then," she crossed her arms over her chest.

"If the truth were to be known they could have taken Samantha away."

"Know by whom? We are your family! You didn't think you could trust us?" Mia's voice rose with every word.

"It's not a matter of trust," Christian responded, his own anger mounting. "One unguarded moment would have been sufficient. I couldn't risk her being taken away. She would have ended up in foster care or worse."

"Why would anybody take her away? Biology is not a pre-requisite for parenthood, you said so yourself."

"Because I am who I am. Because I am a public figure and people are jealous and petty. I was a single man with no biological connection to the child. A daughter. Do you need me to spell it out?"

"But you… Are you saying you knew her mother was going to leave?" Mia said, everything about her expressing incredulity.

"That was a possibility, yes."

"Is that why you…" suddenly aware of their audience Mia let her voice trail and her eyes flicker towards her own children.

"Married Marlene?" Christian sighed. "Again, yes."

Christian wasn't game to look at Ana, but Grace and Mia's eyes automatically turned to her. Where they had expected anger or at least a surprised reaction, what they found was a strange mixture of sadness, tenderness and…pride? Hope maybe?

"Ana?" Mia hesitantly probed, while Grace frowned then gathered herself.

"God damn it, Christian!" Elliot finally blew.

"Elliot!" Grace sternly admonished her eldest, but Elliot only shook his head and insisted: "For all her mistakes, Kate is right on one point: we've all been caught up in your smoke and mirrors."

"Meaning?" Christian raised an eyebrow above a stone faced expression.

"You're not an island man. We are your family. This affects all of us."

"And you think I don't know that?" Christian bristled.

"Christian, Elliot, perhaps this could wait. For now I would like to go talk to Samantha," Grace interrupted.

Her words acting like a command, the Farellis with obvious relief, the Parsons hesitantly and Christian and Elliot reluctantly, they all followed Grace out of the room.

"Belle," Dan stopped Ana before she could take the stairs to the bottom level. "Why don't you three go ahead, we'll be with you in a moment," he added looking at their children.

"You'll have to tell me what you want me to do," he said once they were alone.

From preoccupied, her expression changed to haunted, and so he took her hand and pulled her down lowering both of them to sit on the top stair.

"Christian and I have said what we needed to say to each other. Emma, Nick and Eddy were doing all right even with that scene with Katherine. But what just happened between you and Christian is confusing the hell out of them."

The slight blush rising in her cheeks confirmesd she understood, even before she spoke.

"I'm sorry, I…got caught up," she shook her head as if to dispel her thoughts. "I'll…"

"Belle," Dan interrupted, "You two need to make up your minds. What Elliot said about being an island…After today we all need to know where you and Christian are with each other."

The haunted expression was back on her face and for the first time Dan noticed a hint of fear in her eyes.

"I need to know what happened," she admitted, her voice little more than a hoarse whisper.

"Then ask him. Sit down somewhere and find out."

xXx

Christian remained standing in the door while the rest of the family entered the den and went to join the two girls. Watching Samantha's apprehension slowly evaporate and be replaced with growing happiness was like seeing a sunrise. At first just a hint of light, then the promise of colour, followed by a barely there spark of something bright…When her green eyes finally met his there were no more shadows left in them. The joyful sparkle transforming her face was all he needed. His presence was not necessary and, he had to accept, in this precise moment would have been more of a burden than a relief. Even Teddy had met his gaze with an almost empty stare.

In a smooth movement he let himself glide back into the deserted corridor. He knew very well what was on Teddy's mind. Anastasia and him. That brief moment in which nothing else had existed but them and their connection.

His destination was the room beyond the den, the one set up as a study or a home office. Leather armchairs, a massive polished wood desk, shelves with books and under the window guarded by heavy curtains, the bar with something stronger than wine and beer. Fully aware that he had been drinking the night before, he limited himself to just a finger of the amber liquid.

Anastasia. The knowledge that she was living somewhere, even if it was with someone else, had over the years become less painful. The gap left in his life had however never been filled. A few times a year he would go to see her and Teddy, each visit probing the emptiness.

It had not escaped him that Dan had taken her to the side as they all left the living room and his first instinct had been to go to her, to defend their moment. The pain when his mind had commanded him to keep walking, reminding him that it was not his business, that she was married to somebody else, had branded him with an intensity he had not felt in a very long time.

xXx

Like Christian had done earlier, Ana stopped in the doorway taking in the scene in the den: hugs and tears and hands holding each other, smiles and enthusiastic head nods. The family had come together around the young woman seated on the couch. With happiness and pride dampened by guilt and regret she noticed that, at least for this moment, there was no real distinction between the Greys, the Farrellis and the Parsons.

"Ana, can I talk to you for a moment?" Elliot entered her field of vision, a poignant reminder that much more healing needed to happen before the family could be whole again.

She nodded her reply and quietly followed him out in the corridor.

"There's a study next door," Elliot explained a little stiffly, leading the way to one of the beautifully carved doors.

"How is Ava?" Ana asked, as they stood a little awkwardly just inside the room.

"She's fine, I think," Elliot sighed. "She doesn't really talk to me but I think, perhaps, now she might."

"I'm sorry," Ana gently offered.

"It's fine. I think this gave her a little perspective. It doesn't take away what I did, but perhaps she'll be able to not take it all on Matt."

"You wanted to talk to me?" Ana prompted, not at all sure she wanted to get involved in the story of Elliot's extra marital affairs.

"Yes. You said Kate lied to Ray. She didn't deny it but she won't tell me what that was about."

The silence engulfing them was so profound, the soft click of a door sounded as loud as gunshot making them jump and turn their heads towards the end of the room.

The bathroom door now firmly closed behind him, Christian stood with a blank expression, rigid as a statue, his mind still processing the words he had accidentally overheard.

Her heart racing, Elliot still visible in the periphery, but her gaze now mostly on Christian, Ana stammered: "It was a long time ago, Elliot. I shouldn't have said that." Shame and regret colouring her cheeks and forcing her head down and her gaze away, she added: "It was mostly my fault anyway."

"You have had help. More than I ever thought, by the sound of it," Christian spoke, his tone so distant it made his presence feel remote.

"Stay out of this, Christian!" Elliot warned.

"What happened to we are a family?" the distance in his voice shrunk a little, but the challenging tone was hardly an improvement.

In a sign of just how broken he was, the fight went out of Elliot and his shoulders slumped.

"Whatever you and Kate have been to each other, family was not it," he pointed out.

Remorseful, Christian stepped closer to his brother. "I tried to keep her out of it, Elliot, keep her involvement from mom and dad and from you."

Ana kept herself very still. Of course Christian had known about Kate coming to Rock Hill, but he knew more than that?! How? When?

Even dejected, Elliot wouldn't let go: "So instead of a family confrontation you engineered things to slowly grind her down."

"What would you have had me do, Elliot?" Christian asked, his anger kept in check by guilt over his brother's obvious distress.

"That is a very good question," Grace's voice drew all their eyes towards the door.

Taking the two steps required to join the small group, she took them in one by one. "You all have a version of the truth and you are all still keeping some of it from me and from each other. Elliot is right Christian: I had not realized until today how much what has been going on in your life has affected our relationship with Katherine. But Christian is also right: if what I now suspect is true and he is aware of it, I am surprised he has kept his silence for so long. What is this about grinding her down?"

Instantly Christian's expression shut down, while Elliot looked embarrassed. Then a look passed between the brothers and Christian gave Elliot a tiny nod of the head.

"Christian has had some…involvement in Kavanagh Media not doing as well as it should have."

Hit by yet another wave of unforeseen consequences of her actions, Ana's hand flew to her mouth. 'Some involvement'. If Christian knew what had really happened, it was a miracle the company was still standing. Her reality once again rippled. Christian had found the perfect revenge on a proud and driven Katherine Kavanagh. These image of those two fighting a silent battle, metaphorically staring each other down over the heads of the rest of the family while keeping up appearances, adding to the already hefty dose of guilt she was carrying, her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! This is all my fault," she said and three pairs of eyes turned to her.

If Grace and Elliot had a reply to that, it was lost when Christian tilted his head to assess her with a frown: "How do you figure that?"

"This started with me, Christian," Ana pleaded, swallowing back her tears, mentally preparing herself to swing as much as she could of the blame that was being thrown around back onto herself.

Under her gaze something shifted in Christian. His eyes stirred, slowly, heavily, as if tectonic plates rather than thoughts were moving behind them.

"No. This started with me," he said, then added "Mother, would you please close the door?"


	60. Summer Storm Ch 57 Once upon a time

Ch 57 Once upon a time

"I think your husband knows you are in here. Dan was in the corridor as I entered the room," Grace responded to Ana's darted glance towards the corridor.

"Thank you, Grace," Ana refused to take the bait. "I'll close the door."

One hand on the handle, she met Dan's gaze and held it until the hand carved, polished dark wood obscured him from view. The soft thud of the door closing was her cue to turn around and face her past. Stood a few steps away, Christian was watching her, inquisitive gray eyes probing, questioning, assessing.

In two steps he came close enough that they had at least the semblance of privacy and keeping his voice low he said: "I know you have spoken with Grace and I assume Elliot, but they have never heard my side of what happened between us. Some things will be difficult to say and difficult to hear, but there are just too many things I don't know so I would need you to fill in the blanks, correct me when I'm wrong."

"I…have already told them as much as I knew, or could," Ana heard herself reply.

"Obviously, that was not enough and I suspect you have downplayed my role if you even mentioned it."

"I did mention it," she lowered her gaze.

"Please look at me. I want them to understand. I have my suspicions on what happened, but I also have a few questions and I am sure you do too. Mom and Elliot know enough that you can speak in front of them. "

"Christian…whatever explanation I provide, the fact remains that I took Teddy away from you, from all of you. Nothing will ever change that," Ana gently reminded him.

"You have had help, and by the sound of it more than I had suspected."

"How can you not be angry with me?"

"I am, for a few things, but it has occurred to me that I might be angry for the wrong reasons."

"Christian, I took your son away!"

"Our son. And only because I was too caught up with myself to see through Ray's deception."

"You blame yourself?!"

Christian's quietly raised eyebrow sent Ana straight into panic mode.

"You can't! I can perhaps justify why I left Seattle, but I should have let you know where we were, where he was. You can't blame yourself for that!"

"Why didn't you?" he abruptly changed track.

"What?"

With genuine curiosity he clarified: "Why didn't you tell me where you were?" At the instant fear and lost look on her face he lowered his voice a little further. "If you never explain anything else, Ana, this is something I would like to know. Believe me when I say that nothing you could tell me can be worse than what I already imagine."

Defeated, Ana closed her eyes. "I knew you would find us. It didn't matter where we were or what we were called. If you wanted to find us, you would."

"Thank you," he breathed a sigh of relief.

"For what?" she asked, opening confused eyes.

"For choosing the least scary of the options."

"Christian, just what did you think I was going to say?"

Serious again, his gaze boring into hers, he challenged: "Perhaps we should start at the beginning."

xXx

Steadfastly avoiding to look at either Grace or Elliot, Ana took the remaining armchair in the sitting area of the study. With Grace sat in the other armchair and Elliot perched on the step-ladder by the bookshelves, Christian brought the chair from behind the desk for himself.

"Given what happened today, it is high time you should hear from me what really happened before and after Ana left Seattle," he started. "One of many reasons for which I have not discussed this with you until now, is because I don't have all the details. Ana has agreed to fill in the gaps and to correct me when my assumptions are wrong."

Focusing on Grace and Elliot he informed them: "On her way to spending a week in Montesano, Ana made an unscheduled stop by the penthouse at Escala. She saw a CCTV recording of the first few minutes of a meeting between Marlene and myself and found Marlene still sleeping in a bedroom upstairs. Specifically, she saw Marlene kneeling to greet me and then me ordering her to go upstairs."

Returning his gaze to Ana, he continued, marginally less business-like: "As bad as that scene looked, Ana had the courtesy to send me a message asking for an explanation. I didn't get her message until several hours later. When I called her, her father answered the phone. She was in Montesano, busy with Teddy. I should have insisted to speak with her, but I didn't. I called back but she had fallen asleep. I was delayed, so my third call was a little later than I had intended," regret creeping into his voice he concluded: "They had already finished dinner and Ana had gone upstairs."

His eyes on Ana he stopped talking. "You are frowning," he pointed out.

"Can I ask, if you remember what time you called that third time?" she enquired.

"8.15, Seattle time," he immediately replied.

"Christian, it was almost twenty years ago!"

"I was delayed. I meant to catch you at dinner," he explained, a hint of anger in his voice. "Of all the what if's I have tried not to dwell on, this is one of the most difficult to ignore."

"You…," Ana shook her head. Trying to get Christian off the track when he was determined to take the blame for something will require more than vague reassurances. He needed facts.

"There was no dinner. Not for me anyway. I didn't wake up until after nine."

Surprise and confusion chased each other on Christian's face. "Something had happened between my second and third call. Ray had found out you were upset with me, angry even. He said you didn't want to talk, that you needed some time and space."

Ana closed her eyes. That was how it had all started. Between the time she had gone upstairs to put their son to bed for his afternoon nap and the time she had awakened, several hours later, groggy with sleep and numb with worry…

"He never told me about it, but dad had seen the tape while I was upstairs."

His jaws setting, Christian insisted: "He said you found the security…intrusive, that you would be more…comfortable if they were gone. A sign that I could give you the space you needed."

"I was waiting to hear from you and," Ana lowered her eyes, "getting worried that you had not called me back. I couldn't talk to Ray about it. We watched TV, I had a couple of sandwiches, and eventually I went back upstairs. I didn't talk to him about you – us – until in the morning when I noticed the security was gone."

A little pale, Christian asked: "You didn't want them gone?"

"No."

"So when you woke up and they weren't there…"

"I called. They told me you had ordered them back to Seattle."

With a growing feeling of doom, Christian held himself very still. "Ana…" he managed, but his too tight throat would not permit anything else to escape.

"I don't understand," Grace looked from the one to the other. "Obviously that was a misunderstanding but...you were not in any danger were you?" she asked Ana.

"When is the last time you didn't have security shadowing you?" Christian asked his mother.

"I don't always notice them, they are always there. Jonathan…I often forget that he **is** security."

"And if one day you woke up and they weren't?"

"I suppose it would feel strange and I'd probably call to ask about them, but I would be relieved to know they weren't needed anymore."

That was his fault. He had made every effort to ensure his mother was not overly concerned about security…

"Grace is right, Christian," Ana started, then sighed at the sudden blaze in his eyes. "Not like that, but…we were not in any danger in Montesano and at that point in time," her own voice caught a little, "there was still a possibility that everything was just a misunderstanding."

Her words not helping his growing apprehension, Christian tentatively continued: "I went back to the hotel and planned to sleep for a couple of hours then call you in the morning, your morning. Ray caught me as I was setting the alarm. It would have been just after six in the morning at your end. He said you were still sleeping."

A deep frown creasing her brow, Ana waited for him to continue.

"He said he was taking the two of you to the lake, so not to worry if I didn't get hold of you," Christian insisted.

With a slight shake of her head she once again corrected the story: "I talked to him over breakfast, maybe around eight. I was worried about the missing security, but didn't want to worry him as well so I told him we had had a…disagreement, that I was waiting for your call. He reminded me that couples fight. Encouraged me not to worry, take the day out. He had to meet someone but the lake was only twenty minutes away…" Her chest raising and falling as she fought to keep breathing, she explained: "The reception was bad at the lake. He suggested I could leave my phone with him and he would get me if you called."

Fighting back tears she told him: "It must have been that morning that Ray …did something with the phone. He had a friend in the FBI. I think they arranged so I didn't receive any calls or messages and they were blocking my outgoing calls and messages. I didn't know this, didn't know why nobody was answering my calls anymore, but after that morning they didn't even get to voice mail, just…rung out."

The only way he could endure this was if he kept his mind busy, so Christian kept talking: "It had been twenty four hours since I had last spoken with you. If you were not going to speak with me, I had to get to you. I ordered the crew back to the plane to get it ready." He took a deep breath. "It took several hours. There is a mandatory crew rest period and there are checks to be done…The best I could manage was to shorten that to twenty hours. I sent you a message just before we took off, to let you know I was on my way back and that I would be at Escala. It would have been midday at your end."

Ana was just staring at him, wide eyes full of questions.

"I assume you didn't get it?" Christian prompted.

"I have been wondering why you came back," Ana whispered.

"I don't understand," Christian's voice dropped several degrees.

"I know you were in Seattle. I didn't find out until Friday, but I know you had been living at the apartment."

Unable to look at Christian anymore, Grace turned her eyes to Elliot only to find the same mixture of incredulity and apprehension that she felt, mirrored in his expression. This was like watching a train wreck: knowing what was going to happen, powerless to stop it and yet unable to turn away.

"I arrived Tuesday evening, close to midnight," Christian's tone threatened violence. Standing up from his chair he towered over Ana: "I had a message, from Ray. He was going to come and see me in the morning." The part of him that will always respond to her needs clocked on the fear in her gaze. Lowering himself to one knee he took both her hands in his: "Ana, I need to understand this. He didn't tell you he met with me until Friday?"

"He never told me he met with you."

"So how did you find out I was in Seattle?"

For a split second Ana hesitated, but this was her chance to clear things up with Christian, everything else came second.

"Kate saw you getting into GEH Wednesday morning."

"I didn't go to GEH until Friday. Wednesday morning I was waiting for Ray to come to Escala."

Gray eyes locked with blue ones while Christian tried to process what had just transpired.

"Even after I figured out that Ray had kept my messages from reaching you and suspected he had influenced your choices, your decisions, I still believed that at least some of what he told me was done with your knowledge. But now you are telling me that as far as you knew I had a submissive at the apartment and then left you and Teddy without security and refused to take your calls?"

"I believed that you were giving me a choice. That last year…We were fighting. Mostly I was fighting you. What we had was…too much. Too much for me to fit into, too much out of your control. When I saw her…I knew I had waited too long, that I had pushed you too far. The way you looked at me those last few weeks…sad, remorseful, guilty. You wouldn't ask that of me. You found a way to get me away from you, somewhere where I would be safe, where Teddy and I would be safe. Security delivered us to Ray, then left. Your silence, like the absent security was to give me space to make my choice."

He was still holding her hands, but his mind was elsewhere: his younger self, his doubts back then…"A choice to obey me, or else." He let go of her hands. "No contact once the contract is terminated." He stood up.

"I was not your submissive, the contract didn't apply!" Ana stood to match his stance.

"But you did make your choice. You sent me divorce papers," Christian's flat voice was at odds with the strange glint in his eyes.

Past and present mixed and swirled in Ana's mind. What she believed then, what she knew now. They had been caught in a mirror maze where both the exits and the obstacles had been an illusion. They could try and feel their way around and slowly, painstakingly go through every moment, every decision and every wrong assumption, relieve all the pain and the anguish…and it wouldn't change a damn thing. She parted her lips, took in a breath and smashed through the mirror:

"I love you Christian. All of you. The good and the bad. The angry you and the gentle you, the demanding you and the generous to a fault you, the intense and focused you and the relaxed and charming you, I love you. And I was failing you, on every single aspect of our relationship. I know how hard you tried to be what I needed and I couldn't bear the thought that I had driven you back to the point where you needed that kind of control in a relationship. I couldn't come to you for fear that I would offer to be…that, for you. I don't even know if I what I feared most was that you would accept of that you would reject my offer, and so I had to let you go."

That glint had vanished from his gaze as Christian used every ounce of self-discipline he had ever mustered to not lash out. When he found his voice it was hoarse and low. "I may be going to hell for this, but I have to ask: did you ever consider that maybe you were wrong?"

Born from both their anguish, tears filled Ana's eyes. "A few months later. On Teddy's birthday," she swallowed the sob raising in her chest. "It was just the three of us and it wasn't fair. He had a family, a father. Some of the fog had begun to lift. You had never lied to me, never. Maybe there was another explanation, another reason for that woman at Escala."

Alarm bells again ringing in her head, she read his lips rather than heard his croaky encouragement: "Go on."

"You married her! She was pregnant," the words left her lips and the bells quieted. Her eyes widened. "There was another explanation!"

Suddenly crushed against his chest, her arms imprisoned by her side, she barely had enough space to breathe as his whispered breath floated above her: "Yes my love, there was."

He held her until the shudders rippling through her body stopped. Holding the only woman he will ever love, he once again acknowledged the presence of the other two in the room. His mother, old and fragile, looking pained and uncertain, and his brother with whom he shared the knowledge that they had fucked up their lives - chased a mirage and lost what truly mattered.

"Ana," the warm male voice called her name and strong hands first held her upright, then lowered her until she was sitting down. The adrenaline rush had run its course leaving her empty and weak, but she did manage to shake her head.

"I'll be fine. I'm fine. Tell me."

"You don't look fine."

"Christian…" Ana closed her eyes. Behind closed eyelids the thoughts were starting to stir. The possibilities, the mistakes, the unfathomable loss. They were going to crush her but before they did, she needed to know. "Just tell me."

She opened her eyes to find Christian where she had left him: on one knee, his face a mask of concern, looking at her.

"Why was Marlene at Escala?" she prompted.

"She needed help."

The thumping of her heart beat and the imperious need to breathe broke the frozen stillness. Some vague rustling behind her…"Go on," she repeated his earlier plea.

There was no turning back now, so Christian pushed himself up and resumed his own seat on the edge of the chair.

"The week before Mia's wedding, I received a message. A 4' by 2' white card with two words: RED Camille."

Knowing Ana would understand, he looked up to explain to the other two: "There is a fine line between the world of BDSM and abuse, and few safeguards. One of those is the use of a safe word, a signal that something has become intolerable. Camille was a former submissive. She was not prone to hysteria. If she had chosen to break the no contact rule to let me know something had become intolerable, I had to at least give her the benefit of hearing her out.

"It turned out she was concerned for a friend of hers. Marlene was in a 24/7 relationship and no one had been able to reach her for over two weeks. Her Dominant was new to the life style, too new to be trusted with that level of responsibility, and rumours were already flowing about him going beyond agreed limits. Camille didn't know I knew Marlene, but she knew I was acquainted with her Dom.

"Once she told me who the man was, I had to be certain. I gave Camille money to hire a private detective. The man, the Dom, had a lot to lose and was being careful. We eventually found out he had an apartment in town and I was certain he wouldn't be there that particular Sunday. The private detective and Camille went to the apartment. I was at Grey House doing some last minute work before my trip when they called. It was as bad as we feared. Marlene was…broken. Too cowered to be able to make decisions, she could barely follow orders," Christian closed his eyes for a moment.

"She knew me, knew my voice. She had been safe at Escala and I needed to talk to her. They put her on the phone and I ordered her to follow with the man to Escala then allow Jenkins to take her up to the apartment to wait for me.

"When I entered the apartment Marlene stood up and kneeled. She was terrified and I needed her able to speak, to communicate. Her Dom was part of our social circle. I had to get the full story and some kind of proof, and then figure out what to do. The last guest bedroom upstairs was a place she was familiar with, a place where she could let her guard down, so that's where I sent her. It took almost an hour, but eventually I had her recorded testimony and pictures of her injuries."

His jaw setting at the memory, Christian's voice acquired a hard edge as he summarized: "Her contract was practically giving her Dom the right to do as he pleased. Pressing charges had very little chance to achieve anything other than a scandal, something she was not willing to face. She called her sister in Vegas. The sister was away for the weekend, but was happy for Marlene to come live with her for a while. Camille agreed to come by and stay with Marlene through the night.

"While waiting for Camille I went to the office downstairs, made copies of the pictures and recorded testimony and contacted a couple of other Doms to help me deal with Marlene's abuser. I left once Camille let me know she was downstairs. She left early next morning, and then Jenkins came to take Marlene to the airport and put her on a plane to Vegas.

"The few minutes you spent at the apartment were between the time Camille left and Jenkins arrived," he concluded, returning his gaze to Ana.

Simple, clear and so much…Christian, that Ana was left wondering how she could have possibly ever believed anything else. Then she remembered.

"Samantha," she voiced her thoughts.

Correctly interpreting her current need for distance, Christian limited his show of concern to a frown deep enough to make his eyes squint.

"I didn't see Marlene, or heard from her, until mid-April. She was sitting at a bar as I was leaving a restaurant. Pregnant. Drinking."

He looked up to include his mother. "Marlene doesn't know who the biological father is. There had been several random onetime encounters in bars in Vegas and she had not realized she was pregnant until she was almost three months. She had also fallen out with her sister and so she had returned to Seattle. There are still private adoption agencies willing to pay for a baby. That had been her plan until she failed a drug test. She had been looking for a new Dom, but now that the pregnancy was showing no one would have her, so she was looking into other…possibilities.

"The options for that unborn child were…" Christian inhaled a deep breath to keep the anxiety at bay. "Foster care was probably the best it could hope for, assuming the mother could take care of herself long enough to deliver a healthy baby.

"We entered a contract. We got married and I would support her and her child according to state law as long as I had paternity rights to the child. The prenup included a significant financial incentive in case there were any dependants. In essence as long as she took care of herself and the child, they were both financially secure, and I had the right to check that the child was indeed well cared for. My hope was that without the financial worries Marlene will be able to bond with her child. That didn't happen. The petition to rescind her parental privileges is unfortunately an accurate description of the situation at the time. She has cashed in on her enhanced prenup and has declined to see or hear from her daughter since."

"What do you mean rescind her privileges?" Grace asked.

"Legally I am not just Samantha's custodial parent, I am her only parent."

"Christian, how much does Samantha know about all of this? Her mother, your past, us, Teddy…" Ana asked.

He had not dared look at her for most of his speech, and now that he had to, her tired, drawn features reminded him of all the reasons for which he would have rather not shared any of this with her.

"Most of it. Obviously she knows I am not her biological father and she knows the reason her mother doesn't know who that is. There was no way to keep from her that her mother didn't want to have any contact so I have explained that Marlene was unable to care for a child. Mercifully, she doesn't have any other children. And she knows about you," his features softened. "She has known since she was very young that I have been married to you."

Christian hesitated. "A little before she turned thirteen we had some trouble. She had already figured out that people assumed her mother was the reason for our separation. I had to convince her that she was not a burden, an obligation. I told her I was not her biological father."

"Fuck Christian, how the hell do you do that?" Elliot exploded.

Leaving his perch he went straight to the chest holding the hard liquor. "Mom? Ana?" he asked in an obvious invitation for the two to join him in a drink. He was only met with two head shakes so he poured himself a good measure of whiskey and forcefully landed the bottle back in its spot. "Is there a GEH department assigned to keep track of who knows what about whom in the Grey family?"

Information was of course vital in his line of business, but one of the earliest lessons Christian had learned was that more than the raw data it's what you do with it that makes all the difference. His mother looked preoccupied and angry, Elliot was clearly about to blow his top, and Ana looked pensive, withdrawn…

Elliot swallowed a mouthful of the fiery liquid: "I've been sitting here for the past half an hour and at some point I started wondering why this whole mess sounds familiar. It's something Ana said. It didn't register the first time a few weeks ago, but it did this time: you never lied to her. You never lied to me or to mom, just didn't' talk to us. And we've all played that game: me, Kate, mom, even the girls."

Frowning, barely daring to dart his glance away from Ana, Christian repeated his earlier question to Elliot: "What would you have had me do Elliot?"

"I'll be damned if I know, Christian. I don't even know any more if not talking to my wife was right or wrong," Elliot said throwing the rest of the alcohol down his throat.

That had caught Grace's attention. As her head snapped up, even Ana's eyes started moving again, going from him to Elliot and back again, a deep crease between her eyebrows. There was nothing he could reply to that, nothing he could say that wouldn't make things worse, so Christian kept his mouth shut.

"How much did Katherine know about all of this?" Grace asked.

About to answer his mother, Christian caught the brief flicker of sadness on Ana's face from the corner of his eye. It was enough to stop him in his tracks. Katherine had taken Ana to Montesano, he had known that much. She had reported seeing him going into GEH, which wasn't true. She was there when he had found Ana and Teddy. Kate lied to Ray…Information and what you do with it…Ice starting to flow through his veins he anchored his gaze on Ana. The determination on her face was a giveaway. There was something he was missing.

"I don't know, mom," Elliot practically sighed.

"But she was there, she was…talking to Anastasia," Grace frowned, the slow ending to her sentence an indication she was reaching her own conclusions. "She was angry with you," Grace informed Christian. "I can understand that, but why did she never tell Ana I wanted to talk to her?"

Ana was looking down, her face and her eyes hidden from the rest as the silence stretched. Secrets…things they never told each other…It didn't matter what Kate and Ray had done, she should have trusted Christian, found the courage to confront him. There was no point bringing more grief to this family. That was Kate's tale to tell…She shook her head: "You will have to ask her."

"But you know why?" Christian asked. "That was your hand print on her face?"

Heat rising to her cheeks at the reminder, Ana tried to wave the incident away. "That was about something else."

He had been gone fifteen, maybe twenty minutes tops…

"Was it about Sam?"

The blush deepening and her silence were all the answer he needed.

"Why did you defend her?" Christian asked, once again with genuine curiosity. "As far as you knew, Katherine was technically correct."

"No, she wasn't!" Ana bolted from her seat. "She wasn't," she repeated, in a more subdued tone, then moved away from the close quarters between Grace and Christian, only to find herself face to face with Elliot. She only had a second or so of respite before Christian was at her side.

"Ana?" he prompted.

For a moment she locked eyes with Elliot, then took a step back, putting some distance between herself and the two brothers. "Samantha is just a child. It's not her fault and she is not a reminder."

"You really believe that, don't you?" Christian asked with hope and wonder in his voice.

"You did the same for Emma," Ana raised troubled blue eyes to meet his.

"That was different, she was injured," Christian replied.

"That's not why you helped her," Ana gently chided him.

"No, it's not," he admitted, as once again longing and regret took hold of him.

Before she could drown in the sorrow, before she could offer more vain apologies, something registered with Ana. There was sorrow in Christian's eyes, but there was also something else: tenderness, a gentleness few people had been privy to. And the question that had been nagging at the back of her mind rocketed to the fore front of her consciousness obliterating everything else: "When did you find us?"

Taken by surprise, Christian was still processing her question when she insisted: "Luke said Teddy was about five."

"Sawyer," he automatically corrected her.

Without warning their blood caught fire and their hearts were racing.

"Sawyer," he repeated, something dark and primal lurking behind his eyes.

"Luke," she whispered, sapphire blue eyes shining until they were all he could see. The rush of blood loud in his ears, Christian closed his eyes. Catching his breath, his chest visibly raising and falling with the struggle, he eventually found the will power to open them again. She was still there: her own cheeks slightly flushed, her eyes still a little wild, standing in front of him, waiting…

"A little before his birthday, March 20th."

Teddy was four, almost five. It had been over two years. She was married…and she was pregnant. Five months pregnant. Hesitantly Ana took a step back, and then another. He was moving, his arm was moving, and all the tension from the past hour suddenly snapped and released her. In a blur she spun around and darted to the door, grasped the handle and yanked it open. She was already one step out of the room when the desperate cry behind her reached her ears.

"Ana!"

Christian's strong hand grabbed her upper arm and spun her around crushing her against the hard wall of his chest.

"I'm sorry, God I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get you. I couldn't get Teddy away from you. I couldn't let go of the two of you and I couldn't have you. I couldn't bring my world into yours. I couldn't take his freedom away. I knew he wouldn't remember me. He had a family and he was happy," Christian's arm held her in a vise-grip, his other hand cradling her head against him.

"I took him away from you, kept him away from you, and it was all for nothing!"

"You took him because I let you and I didn't find you because I was too proud to beg until it was too late."

Alerted by the raw edge in Christian's voice, she lifted her head to be met with the sad, haunted look from her dreams, from her memory.

"You found us. In spite of everything, you found us."

"Eventually," was all he was willing to concede, but the worst of the moment seemed to have passed. As his grip lost some of its edge, Ana dared to relax and lean against the arm supporting her back.

"How did you find us?"

"Taylor," Christian conceded, then quietly added "We have an audience," and slowly let go of her until she was standing by herself.

Following his gaze, she turned around. Dan, Nick, Teddy and Emma on one side, Mia with Samantha on the other and barely visible behind them, leaning against the door post, Ava, were all gathered in the doorway to the games room.


	61. AN good newsbad news

AN: Good news/bad news situation. Well mostly bad. The good news first: after struggling for several weeks to get Ana and Christian's voices back in my head I think I finally got it. The bad news is that I have exactly zero time for writing. Work is crazy, family is demanding, I have an exam in October and need 50+ hours of study time and unless a miracle happens next week I have no idea where I will be living at the end of May. I have not abandoned the story and I won't, but it's going to be a while.


	62. AN -yes, I know, another one

I barely dare to show my face, especially without a new chapter up my sleeve, but I thought it was high time to give you all a wave. I am alive and getting my life back on track. It has taken longer than expected and has been far more difficult than anticipated but I'm getting there. Many, many thanks to those who have PMed in the past few months, your prompting and encouragement have helped keep the flame burning and a recent offer of cleaning-cooking-anything else I might need has truly spurred me on. ;)

My personal issues aside I must confess I have had a really hard time figuring out how to set up the much needed Ana and Christian conversation. After about a dozen half finished variants, in the end it was something as simple as the local weather (Montana, historical weather from the summer of 2014) that has helped me find a setting for their talk and then those two took it from there. Will you find it cruel if I posted a few lines of dialogue from the next chapter or will it give you hope that it really is coming sooner rather than later?

Uh, if you have any comments, please be aware that my review moderator is currently away on holiday so any reply might take a while. I still get the PM alerts though ;)

xxxxxxx

"Why didn't you come get your son, Christian?"

"Our son. And I explained that yesterday."

"No," Ana shook her head. "That explanation was about… logistics."

Christian's jaws tightened, his mouth straightened and his eyes darkened with resolution as his barriers were coming up in full force.

They had been there before Christian and her, and she had backed down, mindful of his limits. But today was about closure and this she had to know. "Why did you give up on Teddy?" she pleaded.

From behind an outer shell of unyielding resolve, Christian's glare brandished her with an intensity she could barely endure. The seconds stretched as she faced a wall of silence. Abruptly he stood, his whole body rigid with determination. "Come," he ordered, and in one swift movement one hand was holding one of hers and the other was pulling her chair back.

A little afraid of what she had started, Ana allowed him to guide her out of her chair, around the table and down the stairs. She struggled to keep up with his long strides as he walked towards the edge of the porch then out from the shadow and onto the grass, already warm from the sun despite the early morning. He finally stopped in the middle of the lawn and half turned to her. "Sit," he instructed, and the hand that was still holding hers pulled her down until she sat in the grass. Slowly Christian lowered himself beside her.

xxxxxx


	63. Ch58 The morning after

**AN**: Thank you all for your patience, here is finally the next chapter, which has been monumentally difficult to write.

A litle house keeping before we begin: it is extremely unlikely I will be able to post weekly. I do however aim for at least monthly updates. Also a reminder that all my Fanfic related mail and alerts are prescreened by someone else and I only get to see what has been sent as a PM or a signed review. I am however a firm believer in freedom of speech so reviews are not moderated. ( If you post anonymously there is a delay before your review will show up simply because I am not manually approving them. With this being said, on to the story:

Ch 58 The morning after

"Mr Grey, Mrs Parson is here."

With his trade mark fluid grace Christian rose from his chair. As the man stepped aside and Ana emerged from the shadow onto the porch, Elliot's parting words from the previous evening were still very much with him: _"Withholding information past a certain point crosses the line from privacy into deceit, Christian. I know when and where I have crossed that line. It's fucking annoying that I can't tell if the same is true for you."_

"Good morning," he finally managed. Keeping himself rigidly under control, he extended a stiff arm and pulled one of the chairs away from the table. "I thought we could sit outside."

Her demeanour as stiff as his, with a raspy "Thank you," Ana lowered herself in the offered chair then tore her eyes from the sight of him to take in the display of snowy white porcelain plates, a carafe with lemonade and two crystal glasses resting on a silver plate. The contrast between the delicate objects and the rough surface of the table held her spellbound.

"If you would rather have tea…" Christian offered, moving the plate with artfully arranged nibbles where she could easily reach it.

"Lemonade is fine, thank you," Ana quickly interjected, keen to move past the sudden flood of memories and the pang of guilt at having skipped breakfast. They had bigger fish to fry…Instantly the image made her stomach twist. Trying to distract Christian she asked the first thing that came to mind. "Where are we?"

"It's the house down the road from the villa. The security team need a place to stay and Grace would rather not have them at the house," Christian finally sat in the chair at the short end of the table. "Thank you for suggesting this meeting. Please allow me to start by apologizing about yesterday," his gentle tone swept over her, enveloped her in its warmth and sent her mind adrift.

_She turned in Christian's arms to look over the people gathered in Grace and Carrick's back yard. Their family, their friends…_

'_It is my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time, Mr and Mrs Christian and Anastasia Grey,' the pastor's words resonated somewhere behind her._

_It did not seem real. Not as they walked back down the alley towards the open marquee, not as they danced their first dance, or cut the cake, or left the ceremony still wearing their wedding outfits. In the bedroom on the GEH plane Christian started taking the pins out of her hair. 'You are mine,' he uttered, relief and satisfaction oozing from every inch of his smug expression. His eyes shining, his fingers trailed through the long tresses freed from their constraints. 'Mine,' he repeated._

_It was when she answered the unmistakably possessive statement that it finally became real: 'Yes, yours.'_

A deep ache bloomed inside her chest. "I got it all wrong, didn't I?"

"What do you mean?" the grey eyes haunting her dreams met hers.

"I fell in love with you and married you, not all of….this," Ana waved her hand to encompass the house, the perfect lawn, the silverware and crystal on the table. "But this, this is as much a part of you as everything else."

"Yes, it is." Christian fought the instant regret at the harshness of his reply to focus on his goal for this meeting: they needed to talk to each other. Really talk. "Did you expect me to deny it?"

A little stunned by his abrupt honesty, Ana stammered: "Yes, on some level I think I got used to..." she swallowed and her throat became too tight as the reality of what they were doing hit home: listing all the reasons they couldn't be together. This was good bye.

"…denying or downplaying the obstacles, the differences, between us," Christian's voice reached her. With a hint of sadness in his gaze, he added in a softer tone "I have regrets too, and a truck load of guilt. There were two of us in our marriage Ana, and there were two of us in our separation." Pushing away his own demons, he brought his thoughts back to the present. "As I was saying, I am sorry for what happened yesterday. That was not how I intended for you to find out about what had been really going on and about Samantha." He gave himself another second of respite, then plunged ahead: "But you didn't seem surprised. You were almost…serene."

The sting of tears prickled Ana's eyes and the all too familiar shroud of guilt tightened around her. Honesty. She owed him that much.

"I was relieved," she admitted. "It finally made sense. The video, your marriage, Samantha's existence, your silence, not coming after Teddy…"Ana drew a shuddering breath, "Those were the facts as I knew them, but they never really made sense."

Christian's eyes flashed with…something, but he remained silent, expectant. His beautiful eyes stared back at her expressionless, the angle of his jaw sharper somehow, his shoulders thrown back in a straight line. It had been a long time since she had had to try and read him, but where her mind struggled, her heart knew: he was hurt. The tears that had only stung before now filled her eyes. "I doubted you," she confessed her crime. "I'm sorry, Christian."

His eyelids slowly dropped and his nostrils flared with the effort to exhale, but when he once again opened his eyes his gaze was clear. "And now?" he asked, his voice an even monotone.

She hesitated. Just a hitch in her breath, a flicker in her eyes, but of course Christian noticed.

"Ask me," he ordered.

The question had been there for eighteen years, a wound deeper than knowing he was prepared to let go of her, and the fear of his answer still held her captive.

"Ask me, Anastasia. Anything."

A dare, a challenge, her chance to break free from the anguish of two decades of wondering..."Why didn't you come for your son, Christian?"

"Our son. And I explained that yesterday."

"No," Ana shook her head. "That explanation was about… logistics."

Christian's eyes darkened and the gentle curve of his lips straightened into a thin line. His barriers were coming up in full force. But today was about closure and this, she had to know. "Why did you give up on Teddy?" she pleaded.

The seconds stretched as she fought to keep still under the intensity of Christian's glare. Abruptly, he stood, the harsh rasping sound of the chair grating against the wood of the deck startling her. "Come," he ordered, as in one swift movement one hand was holding hers and the other was pulling back her chair.

Her heart racing, Ana allowed herself to be guided out of the chair, around the table, then down the stairs, away from the shadow and onto the grass. She was once again caught by surprise when Christian stopped as suddenly as he had started walking.

"Sit," he instructed, his hand pulling down on hers until she sat in the grass.

When the long, deep waves of his laboured breath settled to a less noticeable effort, Christian frowned. "I apologize, that was…", the fingers of one hand raking through his hair he faltered. "Inappropriate," he admitted. "But you have just asked the single most difficult question…"

Confused by what had just happened, his frown still in place, Christian lowered himself down next to her.

"Ana…Why did you let me do that?"

"Do what?"

"Drag you out here, on the grass_"

The drum beat of her heart slowing down a little, Ana tried to shrug the tension away. "You were angry."

"And you just…what? Let me order you around?"

Hoping she will be able to keep the sadness from showing in her voice, Ana gently reminded him: "You need control. Especially when you are angry or upset."

"_I couldn't come to you for fear that I would offer to be…_**_that_**_, for you. I don't even know if I what I feared most was that you would accept or that you would reject my offer."_

Christian kept his gaze locked on her face as yesterday's words mixed with today's. His thoughts racing, he stared at her. They needed to talk, **he** needed to talk, but what he had to say…Unable to face her he turned his gaze towards the distant line of the trees bordering the property: a fence, protection and privacy…

"What happened yesterday, all those revelations, I already knew most of it," he said sounding as if he were talking to himself. "I have had years to think about it, to come to terms with the parts I knew or guessed. But for you it was all brand new." Christian turned his head towards her, concern etched in the creases at the corner of his eyes. "Samantha, Madeleine, Escala, knowing I had found you…"

"Stop it!" Ana's words left her as angry tears spilled down her cheeks. "Stop doing this!"

Trembling, she stood on shaky legs. "**I** trusted the wrong people.** I** made the wrong decisions.** I** should have come to **you**! **I** broke you!"

Christian had instinctively stood with her and when she turned away from him his arm shot out and spun her back. "No, Ana. What happened between us was on **us**, both of us."

"You have to let me go, Christian," Ana whispered, her eyes on the hand wrapped around her upper arm. "I should have never left, but I did. Nothing we say or do will change that. You have rebuilt your life and until yesterday you were at peace…"

Christian's arm dropped to his side like a dead weight. "And you have a family. I understand."

Desperate for something, anything, that would restore some sort of balance in their situations, Ana admitted: "Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Dan and I are separating."

The constant motion of the leaves in the gentle breeze was creating an ever changing pattern of shadow and light, a distracting shimmer in the distance…

"I'm sorry," Christian's voice filled the silence. "I assume I am at least in part responsible for this turn of events. If it's because of yesterday…"

One hand rubbing first her face then her forehead, Ana shook her head. "It's not because of yesterday." This time Christian didn't try to stop her from turning her back to him, and Ana found herself starring at the grass.

"You don't have to tell me," Christian's warm voice reached her as she felt the heat of his body close behind her.

"I can't…I can't do this. Please Christian. Please let me go. Can't you see I have broken another family?"

"You asked for this meeting," Christian reminded her.

"I did. We need to…we have to…clear the air, find a way to be around each other."

"Then perhaps we should start by no longer lying to ourselves." The straightened line of her shoulders told him she was pulling further away. He was not going to physically stop her, but he was not done talking. "Talking is meaningless unless we are prepared to face the truth."

As he had predicted Ana had already taken a step away from him, but to his relief she didn't go any further. "Can you face me?" he asked.

When she slowly turned around he extended an arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, then lightly gathered her to his chest. His mouth just above the top of her head, he murmured "Tell me this is not where you want to be. Tell me, and I will let you go."

"I am not what you need."

With his free hand Christian gently tipped her chin until he could see her face. "And what is it you think I need?"

The stubborn woman was keeping her eyes averted, but the blush rising in her cheeks gave enough of her thoughts away that it was Christian's turn to sigh. "You think I want a submissive? Ana, please look at me so you know I am telling the truth."

The side glance rewarding him was not enough, so he patiently waited until she was looking straight into his eyes. "I have not needed or wanted that in a very long time. Perhaps it was not entirely true when we were together but I assure you that I am no longer part of that life style and it is no longer a part of me. This being said, there are certain aspects of my personality which have not changed, nor do I see them changing, so the question is whether** I** am what **you** need."

With their bodies close enough that the faint smell of her perfume filled him with every breath, her upwards tilted head placing her lips just a few inches away from his mouth, Christian's physical response to her intensified until the tightness in his groin became uncomfortable. As it occurred to him that this was a monumentally bad idea, with a slight shift of his body he created a little more distance between them.

"I love you Ana, with everything that I am. That is one of the things that will never change. I want you in my life, but I **can** live without you. I don't want you to make a decision based on my needs, or guilt, or regrets. For that reason I have promised myself that I will not pursue you."

Dizzy from the intoxicating feel of Christian's body so close to hers, and from all the possibilities implied by his quiet statement, Ana was in no shape to formulate a coherent thought, let alone provide a fitting answer. If this was 'not pursuing' her…There was a glint in Christian's eyes making the pale grey look like flowing silver and then he lifted a finger to airbrush her jawline. "As tempting as it is to just seduce you back into my arms, you need to know what you are dealing with."

"You are very certain of yourself," she breathlessly murmured, this conversation vaguely familiar.

"Only since yesterday. Perhaps I should apologize for that too, but I needed to know."

"Know what?"

"That it's not just me."

Then the glimmer was gone, his hand fell away from her face and the arm he had around her shoulders moved to hold her hand instead.

"This is not a development I had foreseen," he informed her, his gentle expression morphing into a more serious one, "and we need to tread carefully. But first you need some information and I believe I owe you a few answers. Come," he tugged on her hand, "let's sit."

Slightly breathless Ana stared at the male figure graciously folding down beside her as her brain slowly reconnected. "Christian…What…I can't… We can't…" she clamped her mouth shut to stop herself from babbling.

"Not today," he acknowledged. "As you said, this is just cleaning out the air, figuring out what do to."

"I love you," Ana voiced the simple truth before she lost the courage to do so.

"I know baby, but it doesn't mean that we can or should try to get back together."

There was not a hint of a cloud in the sky, yet Ana could swear the temperature had suddenly dropped several degrees. Reality. Present tense. Emma, Teddy, Nick, even Dan, all the lives now linked to hers…

"What do you mean you might not be what I need?"

"Just that," Christian informed her, dead serious, his CEO expression replacing the tender one from just a moment ago. "The BDSM was a big factor in our difficulties, but it wasn't the only one. You have already pointed out two of the other: this," he waved around him to encompass the evidence of his wealth, "and my need for control. Then there is the fact that I am not as innocent as you seem to believe, nor have my intentions through the years been quite as selfless as they seem. Some of the things I have done…I am not proud of some of my choices. There are things I have longed to tell you and things I have dreaded having to share with you but for now… You asked why I didn't come for Teddy."

In an instant the mood shifted and the casual, relaxed atmosphere between them became heavy. Ana's posture dropped, while Christian's shoulders pushed back making him look taller, broader. Stiffly he stretched his arm to lightly rest it around the top of her back. "This is going to be hard to tell and hard to hear. I promise I'll behave, I just need you near me."

With Ana once again resting next to him, Christian started with a warning: "I need you to understand that the way I reacted when I realized you have left for good had nothing to do with you."

The close proximity of their bodies meant that Christian was immediately aware when his words caused Ana's whole body to stiffen.

"Unless it becomes too much for you to hear, please let me speak to the end," he told her more than he asked. "The truth is that what happened to me was the consequence of years of unresolved issues that had nothing to do with you. I told you I have regrets," Christian's voice deepened, "one of them is that I should have dealt with my issues long before that day. Because I didn't, I let you down when you needed me the most. Even when I recovered enough to function, I couldn't find the strength to do anything else but fall back on old patterns. I isolated myself from everyone. I poured myself into rebuilding GEH and tried to shut out everything else."

"But you looked for us. You found us!"

His eyes hooded, Christian admitted: "Eventually, and not because I intended to get either of you back. I just needed to know…"His mind now firmly into one of the darkest times of his life, he expected his next breath to be heavy, expected to have to haul the air through his nostrils and force it down his throat into constricted lungs. When it simply flowed and filled his chest, Christian let the air back out and drew another breath, then another. She was here. He was sitting in the grass, under a deep blue sky, next to the only other human being who knew him well enough to understand. Her first question had proven that, and had proven Renner - and everybody else who had warned him they didn't know each other anymore – wrong.

"I needed to know that Teddy was happy," the words left him as easily as the air had left his lungs. With the same unforced, unhurried rhythm, they kept coming.

"After you left, I shut down. There is no other way I can describe it. The enormity of what I had lost threatened to overwhelm me. I felt myself disappear and out of old instinct white hot rage filled the growing darkness. Instead of propelling me into action, the rage incinerated everything in its path. One moment I was sitting at the desk talking to Sawyer and the next there was…nothing. The first memory I have is of Grace sitting next to my bed, talking to me.

"I was heavily medicated so my thoughts were jumbled and everything was…muted. I lost another week or so until reality started slipping through the fog. I was not four years old. I had to come back. I asked for a glass of water and started the ball rolling. They tried to make me talk. Grace, Carrick, Elliot, therapists, you name it and they tried. I eventually talked about some things with the therapist, enough to reassure them that my mental faculties were still intact. The rest however…" Christian's eyes lost focus as he delved deeper into his own thoughts.

"There are draw backs with therapy. I know they all meant well, back when I was a child, but the endless recounting of the bad memories did little to help with the anxiety. Each time I left a therapy session I had to drag myself back from that sordid past to the present and somehow accept it as my new reality. I ended up never being able to forget and never feeling as I belonged in my new life. I was not about to repeat the same mistake. I went back to keeping myself to myself and focus on something I was good at. GEH needed me and I needed the validation it provided. I went with that, shutting everything else off. "

Strangely relaxed as he could finally share that part of his life with someone, Christian continued: "Mom and dad, and Elliot, were mostly still in shock after their discoveries at Escala. Between that and their concern about me, it didn't take much effort to shut down any questions. As I resumed behaving like the Christian they had known most of their lives…I think they were relieved that I was at least bouncing back.

"Then I saw Marlene: pregnant, drinking, desperate. I couldn't stand by and allow another child to be born only to turn into…me, to have my experiences, to live through the fear and the pain. I offered her a contract. If she had kept her child and raised it, she would have received a considerably bigger pay-out. Nevertheless she chose her freedom over her child. It was her idea to relinquish parental rights. I accepted partly out of anger and partly because I didn't want to take the risk of her waltzing in and out of the child's life."

With an effort Christian battered down the mounting anger at the more sordid details of his separation from Marlene and fought to keep himself in the here and now. "I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was not able to give a child the kind of emotional support they required, but Samantha was just a baby and I was in an impossible situation. I had already hired a nanny for her and so I knew her basic needs would be met until I could figure out what to do. That's another plan that didn't quite work out. For all her coldness towards her own child, Marlene had been putting on a good show in the evenings and during the week-ends. With her gone, despite extending the nanny's hours to as many as she would accept, I found myself having to care for the baby.

"Sawyer resigned shortly thereafter. He had been in charge of the search for you and Teddy. It was not his area of expertise and the constant setbacks had taken their toll on him. He was the last member of the old security detail to still work for me, and when he left I was…relieved," Christian anchored his gaze on Ana's, hoping it would convey what he could not bring himself to put into words. When her eyes widened as she processed the information, he reached out and gently brushed the tips of his fingers over the locks at the side of her face. "I was not fit to be a father, Ana. The truth is I have no idea what I would have done had Sawyer found the two of you. As it were, I thought I could take a break, take some time to reassess the situation.

"Soon after that I had to go on a business trip. GEH was back on track but the set back from the previous year had shaken the trust the business community had in the company. I had to fight my way back up and that meant working relentlessly to re-establish some of the contacts and their confidence in me. To decline the trip was not an option and to take a four months old baby with me was out of the question. I needed help and I turned to the only person I knew would not refuse: I asked mom to take care of Samantha while I was away."

As a tear coursed down Ana's face he once again raised his hand and gently wiped it away. "I'm afraid it will get worse if you want to hear the rest."

"I'm fine and you are right: I need to hear this."

With just a slight hesitation, Christian continued: "It was the first of many occasions when I had to ask my parents to babysit. This opened three separate sets of problems. Each time I dropped Sam off or picked her up from mom and dad's I was confronted with the reality of what I wasn't able to give her. Then there was the fact that I had not yet decided what to do about her so I didn't want them to get too attached to her. Finally ignoring the silent question in my parent's eyes each time they saw me was becoming increasingly difficult. As Christmas approached, I took the baby and fled to New York."

Ana's earlier reassurance had been a blatant lie and knowing what he was about to confess, Christian again hesitated. After only a few seconds Ana shifted a little closer and he tightened his grip around her shoulders until he could feel her tiny frame lodged against his side. Not game to look at her while they were both this vulnerable, he kept his gaze on the tree line and softly resumed his story.

"Teddy had never been in New York. I thought the absence of almost constant reminders would make it easier to ignore the memories. I was wrong. It made it worse. At Escala a little corner of my mind would keep the memory alive even as I ignored its existence. The New York apartment was just…empty. For the first time I found myself unable to ignore the questions in my own mind. Where was he? Was he happy? I could not allow myself to go that route and so instead I picked up the file Sawyer had compiled during his search for the two of you. The moment I saw the contents of the USB I knew Ray had played me. He had never discussed with me the reason why you were upset, just implied it was all the control and the demands of our life together. But watching that tape without knowing the true context behind it…I tried to view it as you would. Worse, I tried to view it as Ray would. And I knew that he had had no other choice but to remove you and Teddy from my life. It was also obvious that he had only succeeded because my own fears had paralyzed me into inaction.

"To understand what happened the following year I have to back track a little. You have heard yesterday how and why I got involved with Marlene…" Christian's voice trailed a little uncertain. When Ana simply nodded, he took a deep breath: "Her story, to hear how quickly that relationship had degenerated into something so extreme, made me question many aspects of my own behaviour."

"Christian, you would have never…" Ana burst out, only to have a long, elegant finger gently press against her lips silencing her.

"Never what? Never reduced you to believe that your purpose in life was to make me happy? That your main priority was to satisfy my emotional and physical needs? That you were somehow failing when you made a different choice?"

"It wasn't like that," Ana whispered.

"I hope so. But the truth is you were going to Montesano to say goodbye. Goodbye to the girl that had grown in that house and goodbye to the dreams you had forged for yourself. We both know you would have chosen to have another child and become the stay at home mom I wanted."

"My life **had** changed! I had new goals, new dreams and staying at home didn't have to be permanent."

Threading his finger though her hair, Christian shook his head: "I know that now. But back then, the people we were then, can you honestly tell me that's what you thought?"

"I don't know," Ana eventually confessed.

"Neither do I, not for sure. But I think that had you offered, I would have accepted. I would have accepted for you to stay at home even knowing it was not what you wished. And even if in the end it were not a permanent arrangement I think you would have ended up resenting me."

"Would you have resented me if I had refused?"

"Yes."

With that short answer she finally got what Christian had been trying to tell her. She had been right, all those years ago: Christian had tried to change for her, give her what she needed, but his own needs, his own emotional issues, had remained hidden under the surface. And he was right: she would have eventually resented him. She slowly let her breath out, then breathed in.

"You are wrong. I know what you are trying to tell me but those were not our only two options?"

"No?"

"No, Christian, because neither was acceptable to me. So I would have fought you, defied you and we would have eventually found a compromise."

With a tender look at a clearly unconvinced Christian, Ana dared reach out and touch him. With both her hands she held onto his free one and looking straight into his eyes she insisted "You made me feel beautiful. You made me feel smart, powerful, important. Yes, I did feel guilty when I defied you, but only when I was doing it for some petty reason or to prove that I could. Otherwise, I never promised to obey you, Mr Grey."


	64. Ch59 Full disclosure

**AN: I know I'm a week late, but I did have an exam last week -puppy eyes/hang dog expression - So we left Ana and Christian talking in the grass the morning after the fatefull family reunion. Ana has just reminded Christian she has never promised to obey him.**

Ch59 Full disclosure

Memories swelled, erasing the present and muddling the past until all that was left were glimpses of possibilities, broken fragments of a future that never was…

"No, you didn't," Christian smiled, the gesture at odds with the emotions flickering behind his eyes. Resuming a more serious expression, he dropped his voice. "Right or wrong, this is how I saw myself Ana. I could not get past the terrifying suspicion that I had been reintroducing the rules of my contract into our relationship. I could not bring myself to talk to you about it. Partly because I was hoping that you hadn't noticed and partly because despite everything I was intent on getting my way on that particular issue. This was the conflict you noticed and given what happened after I left for Japan, I never resolved it," Christian's jaws set with finality.

While vowing to keep on working to change his image of himself, for now Ana let it go. Her lack of rebuttal was immediately rewarded when Christian shifted their bodies into a more comfortable position and extricated his hand to wrap it around hers.

"This was how I still viewed myself over a year later, at the time I returned from New York. Almost immediately dad confronted me regarding the search for Teddy. I hired an external team to look for you. The question of what I was going to do when I found him, and you, remained open. In the mean time I had another child who was now bound to me. The right thing to do would have been to place Sam with mom and dad, so for the next couple of months she spent increasingly more time at Bellevue."

With a strange mixture of regret and tenderness, Christian confessed: "I arrived home one day, my mind still on work. Sam and her nanny were in the living room. Mrs Hutchins greeted me and Sam paused to look up. She said '_Da_', then turned back to the multi-coloured plastic bits scattered over the floor. I dismissed the nanny in a daze and spent the rest of the evening playing with the toddler living in my home, under my roof. I was all she had and it wasn't much. It dawned on me that I could at least go through the motions. I compiled a mental checklist of things I was supposed to do and executed them. I had myself convinced that this was all that was needed. My wake-up call didn't happen for almost two years."

Still holding her hand, finding strength in their connection, Christian collected his thoughts. "Inevitably the memories and experiences started to accumulate and there was a certain…overlap, which was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Early December my then head of security came to ask for approval to hire a few more people. The team stationed on the Sound needed some time off over Christmas. I signed the papers and dismissed him. It wasn't as easy to dismiss my thoughts. Christmas Eve…"he sighed, "I found myself sitting in my office at Escala, mentally preparing myself for spending the following day with the rest of the family. I knew they wouldn't ask, but I also knew Grace would time and again leave the room and return with eyes red rimmed from the tears she would try to hide. I had another child. I had a son I had let go rather than expose him to the mountain of anger and self-loathing I was carrying. The search for the two of you was more or less perfunctory. The new team were good people, professionals, but some things just can't be understood from reading documents and watching CCTV footage. And I knew exactly who would have that kind of elusive information, or at least enough of it to make an intuitive leap. I called Taylor. I eventually got him to agree to pick up the search. I told him that I only wanted to know that Teddy was safe, happy, and at the time I really mean it."

The tears running down Ana's face were too many to wipe with just the tip of his finger, so he used his hand to carefully clean her face then produced a snow-white handkerchief and handed it to her. "He found you at the end of March."

As the sobs broke through, he gathered her to his chest.

"Go on," he barely heard the muffled whisper.

His eyes once again on the horizon, Christian's voice acquired a distant monotone: "I couldn't stay away. I had to see him and I had to see you. I travelled to Rock Hill. I saw you first. You were sitting on the porch. I didn't truly expect to see you until I did, so I sat in the car for a while, waiting for the shock to pass. As my mind was racing for what to say to you…I got angry. So angry I had to grip the wheel and hold onto it, least I left the car and done irreparable damage. I vaguely registered people coming down the street: a man holding two children by the hand, the smaller one mostly hidden by the man's frame. Then the man pointed and the child broke into a run. He crashed into you. You caught him and smiled at him. I didn't see his face that day. He was just a small boy, happily running down the street into the open arms of a loving mother. Then you stood up."

"I was pregnant," Ana finished for him, her body numb, her grief too profound for tears.

With slow, deliberate movements, Christian disentangled himself from their embrace. His chest raising and falling with his laboured breath, he stood up and paced away from the huddled figure left sitting in the grass.

"I left. I embraced the anger and let it carry me through the next few weeks. It was a familiar feeling, something I knew how to deal with. It helped me focus, establish facts, prioritize. I set up surveillance to ensure I would never lose track of you again. I gathered information. I knew I had to come back. I hadn't even seen my son's face. But I also knew I sure as hell was not going to let him meet the man who had a white-knuckled hold of that steering wheel, the man who was so consumed with rage he had no recollection of the drive back to the airport or of the flight back to Seattle. Do you understand?" he whirled back toward the prone figure in the grass.

Her head was bowed but she managed to incline it even further signalling an affirmative answer.

"I don't think you do. No really. According to my information your part time job was paying peanuts, none of you had any savings and your health insurance only covered basic care. When I set up the pregnancy fund, I didn't do it for you, Ana. I did it for Teddy."

The words reaching her were like blows hitting her numb body, until they got through and the dull ache became a searing pain. Steeling herself she raised her head to meet her fate in the eyes of the man she had hurt so deeply. What she found however was a haunted look, a blank expression and a body held rigid under the strain of the storm brewing inside him. As alarm bells started ringing a chime of doom in her mind she stood on shaky legs and searched his face for an answer to her sudden unease.

"You make it sound like a bad thing," she broke the tension filled silence.

His eyes moved over her face slowly, heavily, his brow creasing and his gaze darkening with each pass over her features. "It was. It is."

"You had every right to be angry," Ana insisted.

"Based on the information available to me, I suppose I was," his lips moved. "It's not the anger that was wrong, is what I did with it," he said and finally his gaze focused, hardened by stubborn determination.

While Ana was trying to make sense of his words, Christian's gaze mellowed. "You'll burn," he said, one hand raising towards her face then changing course to land on her lower back. "We'd better move into the shade," he half turned towards the house, the slight pressure of his hand guiding her to move with him.

Dizzy from the rapid pace of his mood changes, Ana almost followed his lead, yet the alarm bells in her mind were still ringing. "No," she said, planting her feet into the grass.

The eyebrow flying to his hair line and the puzzled expression on Christian's face were almost comical. Torn between a giggling fit and an impulse to scream, Ana took a deep breath to stave both, then shook her head. "You are trying to distract me."

Instantly Christian's expression closed off. "Perhaps. But you are already a little red."

"Christian!" she pleaded.

Heavy with the weight of whatever he was withholding, the silence wrapped around them in thick coils, muffling the outside world, leaving them no choice but to face each other.

"I am not prepared to go there, yet," his flat statement fell between them.

As Ana 's guilt chose that moment to remind her that she had no right to question him, Christian went from closed off to torn, to sad and then back to his controlled, self-contained persona. "For now you have asked about Teddy," he reminded her.

The increased pressure at her lower back further confirmation that Christian was not going to relent, Ana let him guide her to the shadow of the porch. Shunning the formality of the table, Ana lowered herself on the topmost step of the short flight of stairs. For a few minutes she was left alone with her thoughts as Christian disappeared inside the building. By the time he returned carrying a tray with a carafe of fresh lemonade and a bowl of fruit, she had come so far as to figure out that whatever Christian's guilt was about, it had to be the reason why he was trying to warn her away from him. Watching him confidently take the few steps between them she knew trying to confront him was not going to get her anywhere. _'Your questions will point them towards what is important to you, so avoid asking anything. Let them provide as much information as possible before you show your hand,' _Christian had once coached her into handling a difficult negotiation.

As Christian handed her a glass with chilled lemonade, she was ready to listen.

"I returned to Rock Hill several times during that year," Christian quietly resumed, "and with each visit I became increasingly convinced that it was not possible for Teddy to be shared between the two of us. The differences were too big. If I had come forward to claim him as my son his freedom would have ended. I considered walking away from GEH and moving somewhere new. I went away for a month to try and do just that: live like average Joe. I failed, miserably. It would have driven me insane, Ana, to just stand by and do nothing when I knew how something could be fixed, when I saw money and jobs, projects, businesses, crumbling to dust…" his voice trailed. With a furrowed brow he let his eyes glide over her face. "That experience led to making GEH into what it is today, but for me personally it meant accepting that this," he waved encompassing the house and the grounds and all they represented, "is my safety blanket. Having this kind of control, of power over my surroundings, keeps me sane. I did however get back into therapy to try and deal with some of the anger," Christian pursed his lips.

True to her resolve Ana refrained from commenting determined to wait him out. Christian however was also watching her, waiting for…what?

"Did it help?" Ana asked knowing when she had been defeated.

"No. You did," the tenderness in his voice tugged at her heart.

"How?"

Taking the empty glass from her, Christian once again took possession of her hand.

"It took a while. It was a process. But it started that summer. I overheard a conversation between mom and dad. I learned that Grace had tried to contact you and you never replied to her messages. I could understand why anger and fear would keep you from talking to me, but leaving Grace with no reply at all was so out of character for you that I had to wonder. There had been other clues I had been too self-absorbed to notice before. I already knew Ray had manipulated me into staying away from you. I started suspecting that he had done the same to you - manipulated you into staying away not only from me but from everybody else. Between my doubts about my own behaviour towards you, the evidence pointing against me and Ray's influence, some of the anger shifted away from you."

Again Christian stopped talking. Bowing his head he spent a few seconds examining their entwined hands. When he again met her eyes it was with a speculative look. "I already told you I was in Rock Hill several times," he prefaced whatever was on his mind, then quietly concluded "You were not in love with Dan Parson."

Ana blinked, but it didn't help. Both his words and his expectant look were still there. Unbidden fresh tears blurred her vision. "No," she breathed, the tortured word barely making it past her lips.

"I have debated whether to bring this up, but there are things you need to know…" Christian's voice gently washed over her.

As Ana removed her hand from his and as the physical connection was broken they were left staring at each other.

"This is why you never came forward," she slowly articulated.

And there he was, no longer gentle or tender, but distant and calculating.

"Essentially, yes."

The anger growing within like an alien invading her body propelled her to her feet and two steps down the staircase before she had time to think. Hands clumped into fists at the side of her body she held herself in rigid control. It wasn't as if she had not expected this from him, just not…like this. Slowly she turned around and opened her fists to wipe her palms against her skirt.

"I was still very angry. With you and the universe in general. I chose Teddy," Christian stubbornly, defiantly, met her gaze with cold determination.

That doused her burgeoning anger in an ice bath. "What?"

"I couldn't have him. He was happy where he was. I ensured he stayed that way," he clarified and the staccato of his words drummed against her already jumbled thoughts until it brought them to a standstill and she was left starring at the man sitting on the porch, staring back.

"I set up the music school on an impulse. When you enrolled Teddy in it, it gave me hope that I could still be a part of his life, make a difference."

Teddy. This was about Teddy, Ana had to remind herself and push the anger and the hurt and all the questions aside. The effort left her swaying, then a strong arm wrapped around her, guiding her to sit.

"I'm sorry. I didn't particularly want to share this with you, but I don't know how else to make you understand. I don't want you to have any misconceptions about my motivations, Ana."

The sound of a throat clearing. "Mr Grey," a male voice rang behind them causing Christian's whole body to instantly tense. In slow motion he half turned his head in the direction of the voice and his single "Yes" carried enough frostiness to push back the climate change a good few years.

Half afraid for the person interrupting them, Ana raised her eyes to see one of the men in black standing just outside the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, sir, but you have asked to be notified immediately should Mr Parson stop cooperating with security."

"Ron," a second shadow darkened the doorway. "I'll take it from here," the shadow moved revealing Greg McKenzie. As the other man took his cue and disappeared, McKenzie informed his boss: "There was an incident on the mountain but it has been resolved."

"An incident?" the frost in Christian's voice solidified to ice.

"Mr Parson disagreed with one of team's suggestions. He has offered a different approach which has been deemed acceptable. The whole party is safe and sound and past the halfway point."

"And?" Christian insisted knowing full well that they wouldn't have interrupted him for an incident which had been resolved.

"The team over reacted, sir."

"Who called it in?"

Only the lack of an immediate response clued Ana that Christian had hit a nerve. With just a glance towards her, the otherwise apparently unflappable security man met his employer's stare square on. "Ward. There was a disagreement between Miss Grey and Mr Parson. That too has been resolved."

"Christian?" Ana drew his attention, both worried and annoyed at the coded talk going on above her head.

Christian sighed. "Teddy disagreed with security and he and Samantha had an argument," he translated. "Anything else I should know?" he fired towards his head of security.

"No, sir."

To Ana's surprize Christian nodded his dismissal and with a curt 'Ma'am' in her direction, McKenzie retreated into the house. Ana shifted her gaze from the now empty doorway to Christian. "That's it? You're not going to ask what happened?"

"I'll get a full report on the security incident by the end of the day."

"And the…disagreement?"

Christian shook his head. "I get notified if something happens, but the security, and Samantha, have insisted the men are close protection officers, not spies."

"Since when?"

Another sigh. "Pretty much since Luke Sawyer took over security at GEH."

She had never had a very good poker face, while Christian was a born predator. When her face twitched he raised his eyebrow.

"I have been wondering why he was at the hotel yesterday morning," Ana admitted.

"Who?"

"Luke."

"Sawyer was at your hotel?"

"Yes, he said the team didn't have enough information to deal with, uh, the…incident."

"What incident?" Christian spat out.

Ana took a deep breath to calm herself.

"When Mia came by, she and I had a …moment. It made McKenzie uncomfortable. I didn't think it qualified as a security issue, but then the next morning Luke was there, so…"

"Mia promised she'll behave," Christian frowned.

"She did, it wasn't an argument. It was just…remembering," Ana faltered. "She was hurt that she had not known about Teddy and me. That can't have been easy, keeping the secret," she changed track.

"No, it hasn't," Christian said and handed her the plate with nibbles. "Please eat something. I am fairly certain you have not had any breakfast and it's already mid-morning."

Her reluctance must have been obvious as he negotiated: "Eat and I'll tell you."

And so she found herself chewing on admittedly very good cheese biscuits while Christian explained:

"When it came to you and Teddy, if the subject ever came up I would just leave, so they had all learned to leave it alone. That first year after I had found you, I was even more closed off with everybody, not to mention gone a lot. The conversation I overheard between Grace and Carrick: they were worried about me. And about Samantha," he added. "The most honest part of me knew I was not doing a very good job at being a parent for her, but seeing you and Teddy was a constant reminder of just what I could not offer her. I was again considering my options regarding her future when grandma was admitted to hospital. I had been on one of many business trips and just got back. We were sitting in the living room while mom was bringing me up to speed, all of us pretty much ignoring Samantha. She tried to crawl in my lap and spilled my coffee. For a moment she just stood there, still and sad, then whispered _'bye Daddy' _and went to sit with Grace.

"I was planning to see the two of you the following weekend, but that time I just couldn't leave her. Somehow in the next few days I became convinced that if you could do it, so could I. I started planning for a new life. I bought the land and commissioned the house in Medina that spring, and I…started dating."

When Ana lowered her head, Christian reached out and with one finger under her chin raised it back to where she would meet his gaze. "It didn't work. For most of them it was just about the looks and the money, looking for a good time and possibly a payday. In their defence I was not that much into the game either. I had reduced the number of visits to Rock Hill, but I was still flying over every six weeks or so. A year later I moved in the new house and… met someone different."

Softly, measuring his words and not letting go of her gaze for even a moment, Christian confessed "She cared about me and cared about Samantha. For a while I entertained the notion that I could build a family."

Afraid her look would betray her hurt, Ana tried to turn her head away.

"Ana," Christian's hand gripped her chin and held her where he could see her. "It didn't work. She called me out on my feelings for you. She left Seattle shortly after that and asked me not to contact her again. The dating had kept the family off my back, bought me a little over a year. I had spent quite a few weekends watching you, observing you, using that to help me with Samantha. I had grown closer to her and she seemed happy. It took another few weeks until I dared face the truth about my own feelings, but once I did I never looked back."

As Ana remained unable to bring herself to form the question burning in her stare, Christian gently volunteered: "Whether we are together or not, you are it for me Ana. Once I accepted that, almost everything else fell into place."

"Christian…" Ana's trembling voice was barely sufficient to form an audible sound.

"Shh," he let a hand gently travel down her arm until it grasped her hand. "You don't have to say anything. In fact I would rather you didn't say anything. If ever there is another time for us to sit and talk like this, perhaps we can revisit this subject. For now just know that making up my mind on that point has been immensely beneficial."

With a rueful expression, Christian shook his head. "Your influence has however had some down sides. For one it made me soft."

Realizing that the 'bad influence' was actually a good thing, Ana dared meet his eyes.

"Admittedly under duress, but I finally caved and told mom and dad and granddad that I had found the two of you. As you already guessed, they were relentless in trying to get more details. When one of those discussions resulted in Elliot also finding out, I threatened to cut all information if they didn't back down. It has been an on-going fight. Dad even tried to follow me. They only truly relented when a couple of events hammered home why everybody close to me has to have security. I eventually reduced my visits to Rock Hill. Partly for security reasons, partly because it has been pointed out to me that I could not just live vicariously through you. I did, now and again, re-evaluate my decision to stay away. As Teddy grew older, it became increasingly difficult to defend. He graduated a year early and I thought he was too young to deal with starting college and me at the same time. The following year…Ray died," Christian stopped, then pushed on, "Then Teddy was almost twenty one and finishing college. Between his trust fund, his graduation and me being invited to hand out the diplomas, it was time."

Then Christian's eyes filled with sadness and his grasp on her hand tightened. "Throughout all of this, from the moment I found you, I chose Teddy."

"As you should have," Ana managed, her free hand wiping the tears coursing down her face.

"No," Christian abruptly let go of her to run frustrated hands through his hair. "How can you not get it?" he abruptly stood, glowering down at her.

"Get what?"

"I made the choice for you! I had a right to make a choice for him, but I also made a choice for you."

Ana stood on uncertain legs to meet eyes full of anger and guilt.

"You never had a choice," Christian spat. "Did you not hear me when I said I ensured Teddy stayed safe and happy? Whenever you had a problem, whenever you faced a challenge, I was there. I was smoothing things out, making things happen, fixing whatever needed fixing, effectively removing any incentive you would have ever had to change your life. As long as I remained in the shadows you remained a fugitive with limited choices and limited options, most of which were my creations."

"You give yourself too much credit," some cold, angry person spat back in Ana's voice.

"No, I don't."

Hot and cold, tender and distant, confessing he wanted her then pushing her away…"This is it? This is your great crime? That you did what you thought was best for your son? I had a choice, Christian, and I chose to run."

"That last day at Escala, you had a choice," he conceded. "You chose to ask me for an explanation. It was not your choice to not hear me out."

"I could have come to you. Should have come to you."

"Are you telling me you have never considered it?" he challenged.

The colour draining from Ana's face propelled Christian into grabbing both her arms and gently but firmly sitting her down. "I think you did. And I think you were expertly deterred from following through. Ray manipulated **me** Ana. There is no way he would have allowed you to come to me."

"How can you have this kind of faith in me?"

"The divorce. Those were **your** terms."

When Ana only looked confused, Christian probed: "Why those particular terms? You could have asked for money. A lot of it, actually."

"It was never about the money!"

"I know, baby. Why the house and GP specifically?"

"So you would know," she admitted.

"Know that…," Christian prompted, relentless.

"That I…understood. That I didn't…reject you."

"Exactly," Christian tenderly squeezed her shoulders. "You kept my presents. Message received."

"But that doesn't change anything," Ana shook her head.

"Yes it does. Once I calmed down enough to actually think about it, it does. You were not angry with me, or afraid, just hurt. Which begged the question of why the temporary custody order."

"They told me it had to be filed with the petition. It wasn't true, was it?"

"No. It wasn't."

"But why? I mean why did dad insist on one? If he had planned from the beginning to keep us apart, what difference did it make?"

"I think he was just being careful. For one it provided me with some reassurance as to your intentions. For the other it was going to take some time for him to set up your departure and in the meantime the order insured Teddy stayed with you. And finally divorce applications are public record. If you were going to be recognized while you travelled through the state of Washington, you had a legal document to prove you had the right to have Teddy with you. I think this is why he waited until the order was final."

Trying to wrap her mind around this new information forced Ana to review some other of the questions for which she had never had an answer. Absentmindedly her eyes glided over Christian's face while a deep frown grew between her brows.

"What is it?" Christian prompted.

"We were just meant to go away for a couple of weeks. Dad suggested the name change as a security measure on the second day. He reminded me you had not…" Ana stopped herself, as her eyes grew wider and her lips trembled.

"I had not…" Christian prompted

"Asked about Teddy or tried to contact me. We passed Escala on the way out of Seattle…" exhaustion finally kicking in, Ana closed her eyes.

"He must have seen how hurt I was, insisted I stayed in the car while he delivered the envelope with the credit cards and the rings. We slept at a motel that night and for many nights after that. Travelled down the coast to LA. The fake names were supposed to be just for Teddy and I, but a few days in I realized he was also using a different name, kept changing rental cars… He pointed out I had been looking over my shoulder a lot. I kept expecting Taylor or Sawyer or Reynolds to show up and drag us back to Seattle. I was not stupid enough to believe my freedom to go included Teddy. When none of them showed up I was hurt and then I was…relieved. "

"Why?" the warm voice floated over her and she dared open her eyes, allowed herself to get lost in the clear gray orbs watching over her.

"The man I believed now lived at Escala was someone I had run from before. I couldn't begin to imagine what it had done to you to admit defeat in such a way but I had to assume you were worse than before. As much as my heart was breaking for you, that man was not somebody I wanted in my son's life. The lack of pursuit eventually gave me hope. You used to believe you weren't fit to be a father and had a rule of 'no dependants'…"

"Go on," his gravelly voice prompted.

"We left LA and started travelling east, towards Georgia. It wasn't really a decision to move away, not then. It was mostly testing my theory, checking to see how far you would let us go. I never considered that you had no idea…I knew you could track my phone," a hint of accusation crept in Ana's voice.

"You left your phone in Montesano," Christian's voice was as distant as hers.

"No," Ana shook her head.

"Your phone and tablet where in the house, on a shelf in the garage," he insisted.

"No Christian, I had them with me. The tablet: that's why Teddy remembers the song. I had it for…almost two years," Ana slowed down her defence.

"He must have changed them," Christian confirmed her suspicion. "Ray copied the information to new devices and left the old ones at the house to delay us. Sawyer wasted several days waiting for you to return…" It was his turn to slow down and his eyes lit with the piercing intelligence behind the pale gray orbs. "You believed I could track you. Even after you arrived in Rock Hill."

"No," a hint of red darkened her cheeks. "We had been travelling for a month. I was shocked at how quickly I had reverted to being Annie Steele. My life, our life, seemed increasingly as an impossible dream, the odds in the gamble we had taken on each other obviously too high. I was still trying to figure out how the future would possibly look like when I returned to Seattle. I could not see how we could have remained anonymous. Teddy would have known you were his father and didn't want us in your life, and there was no way I could explain to him that it was actually the decent, good thing to do. I also considered that you would," Ana's eyes tightened in a squint but she refused to close them, "see him as an asset, something to be nurtured and managed until you were ready to…take over."

"You considered or Ray did?"

"He…made sense," Ana deflected. "I couldn't let that happen," she pleaded. "Teddy was everything that was good in you," a film of moisture blurred her vision. "I watched him fall asleep listening to the song you wrote for him, and I knew the part of you that made that song wouldn't want him tainted by anything dark and harsh. When Ray suggested we could start a new life somewhere else, it seemed like a good way to preserve that, to keep Teddy's light and sunshine away from the darkness. We had been gone over a month and no one had come after us or tried to contact us. Ray told me there was not going to be a trial since you were not fighting the divorce. I threw the phone off a bridge into a river and told him I believed you could track the tablet. He reassured me he could take care of that. We never went to Georgia. We ended up in Rock Hill. I received the divorce papers in February but didn't read them. I had no intention of taking any of your money and…if you wanted your son you were going to have to come and get him," Ana informed him, her voice a strange mixture of defiance and regret.

As Christian's eyes had darkened to the colour of stormy clouds and his face had set into a hard expression she more gently continued. "Despite appearances I was still having second thoughts. Then I found out that you had been gone for over two months and about the marriage and the pregnancy."

"As long as we are doing this, how did Dan enter the picture?" Christian asked his voice oddly neutral.

Her cheeks now burning, Ana swallowed against a suddenly dry throat. "I was volunteering at the library, reading Christmas stories. He came by with Nick. It seemed a good thing to have the boys play together now and then. We were both hurting and not able to really move on and," she looked down unable to meet Christian's eyes, "he wasn't asking for something I couldn't give."

Christian remained silent, waiting, forcing her to look up and meet his expectant stare. As annoyance grew within her, the words left her in a slow rhythm, as she remained ready to stop the flow if it no longer felt right. "I hadn't really planned on anything to happen. It wasn't," she swallowed, "lust, just a need for…companionship. The following morning it occurred to me that if you knew, if you ever found out, you would no longer want me."

A crunching noise marred the silence as Christian's jaws ground against each other, then his gaze landed on her, wondering, questioning, assessing.

"I should probably go," she broke the heavy silence while rising from her perch on the top step.

"No," Christian shot to his feet and before she could blink she was held against the hard wall of his chest. Without consulting her mind, her traitorous body recognized its home and seamlessly moulded onto his. "Not like this," he rumbled. "This weekend has been exactly the cluster-fuck I expected it to be, I can't let it end like this."

Through the thin layer of his shirt his deep heaving breaths rose and fell like a wave and long seconds passed while they basked in the truth their bodies knew even when their reason fought against it: this is where they both belonged.

"I have to go, Christian," Ana spoke, yet made no attempt to break the embrace.

"I know," he said, his arm simply readjusting more comfortably against her lower back, then the muscles tensed into tight coils. "Fucking South Carolina fucking divorce laws," he growled.

As Ana tensed his head bowed until his breath was a gentle breeze against the top of her head. "It takes a fucking year," he informed her, the raspy confession heavy with frustration.

From the comfort of his arms, Ana dared steal a glimpse of a possible future and her heart beat increased to a somewhat erratic drum roll.

"Christian," she steeled herself against this first hurdle, "I need you to understand that while I am divorcing Dan, I am not divorcing my children."

"I know," the coils remained wrapped around her. "I won't ask you to."

Alarm bells now ringing in earnest, Ana tensed.

"Fear kept us apart, Christian. Insecurity turned to doubt and that turned into fear and anger."

The hand that had been holding hers let go and moved to raise her chin until she was looking past the exposed skin of his neck, his tight mouth and into weary gray eyes.

"You are still afraid of your need for control and I am still afraid to just let you take over," she spoke for both of them.

"I don't want to control you," Christian frowned down at her. "I thought I had made that clear."

"Want and need are different things, my love, and you need control," she gently admonished.

When everything in his face expressed resistance, she sighed and let her head fall back against his chest.

"Don't make me prove it, Christian, or you really won't be able to let me go."

That little bit of challenge while his arms were full of her relaxed, yielding, body, effectively leaving him in charge… his spine strengthened, his feet to anchored themselves to the surface beneath them and a deep sense of fulfilment replaced the edginess previously filling him.

"Fuck," he spat, and forced a little distance between their bodies before the feel good sensation turned into something else. Denial now pointless, his frown deepened. "Where does that leave us?"

Preventing the sigh of relief from escaping, Ana met his gaze.

"You said you never solved your conflict and I know I never solved mine."

"True," he stated, then the endorphins, new found hope and the endless love he felt for this woman mixed to something akin to giddiness. "And how do you propose we deal with that," he asked a glint in his eye.

She had a tiger by the tail, she knew that. And when one has a tiger by the tail, the best thing to do is to gently, carefully, let go and step away. Except that between her and this particular tiger…her eyes glided over his face, briefly stopped over his lips then travelled upwards to meet his gaze.

"My last kiss," she tightened her grip on the tail, "my last proper kiss, was that morning before you left for Japan. I think I'll start there," she yanked, and watched his pupils dilate and his head bow towards her until his breath was against her cheek.

"No," those frustrating lips formed a word instead of the kiss she had been both hoping for and dreading. "Much as I would like to rectify that situation, I will not steal a kiss from you, Anastasia," he informed her. "So it will have to wait until I am sure you want to be mine. And, Anastasia, you better be certain that this is what you want, ok?" his threat ended in not quite a plea, and then he was gone and the air between them felt cold on her bare skin.

"You'd better go," Christian took a step back.

Having for now achieved what she had set up to do, Ana's feet slowly moved her towards the entrance of the house.

"Thank you," his voice reached her just before she disappeared from view.

Afraid that if she looked back she wouldn't be able to leave, she only acknowledged him with a nod. Knowing that with his confidence restored he'll be OK to wait, she stepped out of the sun and into the shadow of the house to face her own demons.

**AN: These two will return to their seprate lives for a little while while next chapter will deal with the fuss on the mountain and getting back to Rock Hill and some harsh choices.**


	65. Ch60 Fallout

**AN: Happy Thanksgivings to those who celebrate it! Here we go, life after Montana. There are a few loose ends that need tyding up and I hope the format for this and the next few chapters will also help give you a feeling for the time passing. Since it has been such a long time, you might need to re-read CH 50 Consequences as it is referrenced when Elliot talks to Kate. Otherwise: Dr Renner is Christian's current psychiatrist and everybody knows who John Flynn was, right? ;)**

Ch 60 Fall out

**Sunday July 31 – Seattle**

Tired after a ten hours long drive to Seattle, Elliot punched the code to deactivate the alarm and stepped through the front door of his home. 03.58, the glow from his wrist watch informed him. Without bothering with the lights, he made his way towards the living room and the staircase leading to his temporary quarters in the basement. A breeze from his left alerted him that the patio doors were open. As he pulled on the handle his eyes mechanically swept over the paved terrace.

"Kate?" he asked the figure huddled in one of the high-back armchairs.

"Elliot?" a mass of blond tresses appeared beyond the edge of the piece of furniture. "Where's Ava?" her eyes scanned beyond him.

"She's still in Montana. I drove back."

"I she okay?"

"I don't know. Right now she doesn't have much to say to either of us, her words."

"What happened after I left?" Kate's ragged whisper barely reached him.

"Can we do this in a few hours? I'm kind of beat."

"Of course," Kate said then leaned back in her seat.

"Aren't you going to bed? It's four am and it's cold out here."

"No, not yet," she said, but the expression on her face belied her casual tone. Kate didn't do worry very well and now she looked…apprehensive.

Bone weary, Elliot lowered himself in a matching armchair. "It's a long story, Kate," he tried one more time to get out of a bad conversation at an ungodly hour.

"That bad, huh?"

"Let's say it's unlikely you'll make it on their Christmas list this year. On the other hand, everybody is seriously pissed off at Christian right now so that will keep them busy for a while."

"Is that why you drove back? What did he do?"

Using both hands to rub some circulation into his face, Elliot shook his head.

"I'll be damned if I know anymore, Kate. I just had to get out of there," he addressed the first of her questions. "I did leave angry at Christian, for deceiving all of us all these years, but the truth is we all played that game. Ana's family had no idea of her past. We have all kept Mia in the dark about Teddy. I have kept Matt's existence and knowing about you and Ana from everyone including you. You have kept your own secrets. Even Sam and Ava have been drawn into this charade. It has affected all our lives and I can't help but think that if only one of us would have talked, much of the bad things could have been avoided."

"What do you mean?"

Sighing, Elliot leaned back. "It was all just smoke and mirrors, Kate. Everything that happened beginning with the day Ana left for Montesano was just a giant pile of misunderstandings and bad timing. Christian never had an affair. Samantha is not his."

Leaving only his brother's sexual preferences out of the story but adding what he had learned of Kate's motivations, Elliot quietly shared his theory on how one lie had led to another, each changing their perceptions and influencing their actions. By the time Elliot fell silent the sky had turned from almost black into a rich blue and the garden had emerged from the shadows, yet the colours on the ground remained muted, as if holding back from competing with the glory unfolding above.

"Where does that leave us?" Kate's weary voice floated in the air and mixed with the gray shadows.

"Christian is not going to let this go, Kate, and I don't know that being my wife or Ava's mother is going to offer much protection this time. I am willing to stand by you, but I need to know if we can have a future together."

**Monday August 1****st**** \- Seattle**

Christian had flown back from Montana the previous evening, with only Samantha and Grace accompanying him. Mia with her family and Ava had chosen to stay a few more days. Since Mia was not really talking to him that suited him just fine and having Ava out of Seattle for the next few days was an unexpected bonus.

At exactly 0900 he made his way through Kavanagh Media. Many of these people would know who he was, most of the rest would be easily intimidated by his commanding presence and if there was any resistance his bodyguard would delay them long enough for him to reach his goal. At 09.03 he exited the elevator on the executive level.

"Christian Grey for Katherine Kavanagh," he informed the person behind the reception desk, causing the woman's head to snap up.

In the second or so it took the PA to regain her composure, the door to Katherine's office flew open. Her make-up had failed to completely hide the dark circles and swollen eyes and for a moment he wavered. This however needed to be dealt with. "Katherine," he coldly greeted her and watched the emotions flit over her face: surprise, anger, fear, and then her shoulders pushed back and her chin rose.

"Christian," she acknowledged him. "I'm sorry for hurting Samantha's feelings, but if you are here to read me the riot act on anything else, save your breath. If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, anybody wouldassume it's a duck."

"I am here because I have a question, a request and an offer, all of which are better suited for more private surroundings," Christian corrected her assumption.

"What makes you think I would be interested in any of it?" Katherine defiantly shot back, but he had not missed the split second of uncertainty. Wordlessly he stretched his hand to receive a manila folder from his CPO and offered it to her, then waited while she scanned the first few pages of the report detailing the corporate losses made by her company during the past three years.

"Where did you get this?" she hissed.

"My offer is on the table for another five minutes," he countered.

Behind the closed doors of her office, Katherine whirled on him. Ignoring her, Christian focused on the décor of cream coloured walls and dark brown wood furniture, a rich carpet in vivid colours, a few plants and white curtains, picture frames on a shelf: professional, expensive, vaguely feminine… Katherine rounded her desk but remained standing, still voicing her outrage at his invasion of her company and of her private space. Unhurried, Christian lowered himself in one of two chairs on the other side of the desk. Indeed, they had that in common him and Katherine: her company was part of her home, of her identity. Since she seemed to have run out of steam and was now merely shooting daggers at him, he calmly asked: "What did you lie about? To Raymond Steele, that is. I am already aware of what you told my parents."

"Why would I share that with you?" she shot back, crossing her arms over her chest.

Not knowing exactly how much Elliot had told his wife placed him at a slight disadvantage and the question had been a long shot anyway. "My request then: you are going to leave town. Actually, you are going to leave the state of Washington."

"Have you lost your mind?" green eyes blazed from across the desk.

"No, Katherine," he met her fire with ice. "In fact here is my offer: you will immediately begin proceedings to relocate Kavanagh media. You have a choice between Texas and Florida. In exchange I will allow you to keep what is left of the company." Rising to stand slightly taller than her, Christian fractionally inclined his head: "You have until the end of the week."

Leaving Katherine to process his words, he made his way to the door and made it as far as reaching for the handle.

"You think you have all the Aces, don't you?" Katherine finally broke, so he stalled. "You forget I hold a few as well."

Having pushed her where he wanted to have her, he turned to deliver his final blow: "No, you don't. You will not reveal Samantha's parentage because Ava will know it was you. You cannot reveal my past to my family because they already know. They have known since before Ava was born. And you will not make public any aspect of my private life because I will ruin you, financially **and** socially, before the ink dries on the papers. I can assure you that you will not recover, so unless you are prepared to face those consequences, do not attempt to blackmail me."

"Elliot will stand by me!" she defended.

"As he should," Christian softened his stance, "The question is: can you stand by him?"

"She had a choice! She could have come to you!" Kate lashed out.

The blood freezing in his veins at the reminder, Christian's gaze hardened to solid steel. "Considering her perception of her choices at the time, you now have a similar choice. If you stay in Seattle without Elliot you will have nothing and no one besides your parents. With Elliot, you will have a comfortable existence as Mrs Elliot Grey and you will have to accept that Matthew is in his life."

Katherine had not yet found a reply when he stepped out of her office slowly closing the door behind him. Three minutes later, from the back seat of his SUV he dialled Carl Renner.

"How much have you read of my file?" he asked without preamble.

"Just enough to have a grasp on the most salient events of your life," the psychiatrist answered in the same direct manner.

"And regarding my…personality?"

"It was not possible to always avoid my colleagues' notes, but as a rule I prefer to make up my own mind."

"Then I need you to bring yourself up to speed with past assessments. Specifically the John Flynn files."

**Tuesday August 2****nd**** – Carolina**

At the end of his work day, Eddy Parson took a seat outside his bosses' office, waiting for the man to finish a meeting. Closing his eyes he filled his chest then slowly released his breath, hoping the controlled action would help relieve the almost constant tension. Like the rest of his family he was still reeling from the weekend spent in Montana.

Sunday morning Samantha, Ava and Paul with his children, had joined them at the hotel for the planned morning hike on the glacier. Elliot, he had learned, had left for Seattle the previous evening. Mia was keeping Grace company. His mother had informed them she was not coming but since no one offered an explanation for either her or Christian's absence, he had turned around, ready to go ask for one. "_Let it go, Eddy_," Dan's hand had felt heavy on his shoulder. With a closed expression and deep wrinkles around his eyes, his dad had pinned him with his gaze: "_They need to sort out whatever has happened between the two of them. For all our sakes. Now let's enjoy the mountain for a few hours._"

'Enjoy' was not exactly how he would describe the experience. He had been sulking and kept himself mostly to himself, until their group had reached a ledge: a footpath for one, with a hand rail affixed to the rugged mountain rock on the right and emptiness on the left. Everybody, including security, came to a halt. Their little excursion had warranted an eight-man security detail. Two of the men had stayed with the cars and two other were scouting ahead. The remaining four had kept themselves at a reasonable distance -until now.

"_Mr Parson," one of the men addressed him, "I will accompany you over the ledge. Miss Grey," he then turned to Samantha, "Ward will accompany you, immediately after Mr Parson has crossed. Mr Alexander and Mr Sebastian will each cross with their respective security detail. Rob and Charlie will be coming back to accompany Miss Parson and Miss Ava Grey. Mr Paul Farelli, Mr Nicholas Parson and Mr Dan Parson will follow them."_

_He was in no mood to be babysat by Christian's guys so he puffed up his chest preparing to give the man a piece of his mind, when Samantha stopped him with a hand on his arm. _

"_They are just doing their jobs. This is a dangerous situation and they are here to protect you."_

_Spoiling for a fight, he still whirled onto the security guy. "What about Nick and dad and Paul? Who crosses with them?" _

_When the security guy had the decency to look embarrassed, he impatiently waved the answer that didn't seem forthcoming. "Never mind. Why do I have to go first?"_

"_The ledge and hand rail are secure for now, but we don't know if that would last and you are heavier than Miss Grey," the man recovered some of his assurance._

_Whatever he expected, this was not it. "Are you telling me there is a risk that whoever crosses after me might fall off that ledge?" he sought to clarify, his voice and coiled muscles threatening bodily harm._

"_Teddy, they are just being cautious. I'm sure they wouldn't let any of us cross if they were really concerned," Samantha tried to pacify him._

"_Fine. Then you go first and everybody else can follow. I'll go last."_

"_Will you stop making a fuss and just get on the damn ledge so we can get the hell out of here!" Samantha lost her temper._

"_I will. Right after you do. You and everybody else," he stubbornly stood his ground._

_Her head cocked to one side, her emerald stare assessed him as if seeing him for the first time. "You really have no idea do you?" she asked._

"_About what?"_

_Taking a step forward, Samantha got into his personal space. "You are Christian Grey's son," she spelled out." You are heir to a 20 billion dollar corporation. You are a potential target. They," she shot her arm towards the security detail, "are not about to let you go splat on the mountain. If any harm comes to you, they would be lucky to find jobs as mall security. So you get to cross that ledge first, right after security has checked it out. Just you and your CPO. I go second. Again, just me and my CPO. Everybody else comes after us."_

_His mind rebelling against the implications in her words he hung onto the one indisputable fact: "I don't want his god damn corporation!"_

"_Good to know. You gonna tell him?"_

"_I would, except he isn't here, is he?"_

_Seething, their chests heaving, the echo of their voices bouncing against the mountain, they faced each other, unaware and uncaring of anybody else. Then her words truly registered and disbelief and dread took over._

"_They think someone might try to throw me, or you, off the ledge?"_

"_Not necessarily, but their job is to ensure that the opportunity doesn't present itself."_

"_There is no one here, and even if there was, they don't know who I am," he pleaded._

"_**I**__ know who you are, and so does everyone else here. Besides accidents do happen and security is supposed to be where they can prevent them or at least deal with the consequences."_

"_Is that how you live?" _he had asked, dread and disbelief now mixing with anger and pity.

Two days later his blood was still boiling at that revelation. There and then however, the world had suddenly gone very still and very quiet around them. Samantha's hand had flown to her mouth and tears were glistening in her eyes. Before she could say anything he had turned to the security detail, his mind made up. On his order, each and every one of the family members had been escorted over the ledge and he had insisted that Samantha should go before him. She had apologized, repeatedly, and insisted that it had all came out wrong, but the damage had been done. Yet another piece of his new reality had smacked him right in the face and this time he was not going to just sit back and take it. Living in fear of his family was just not worth it.

While waiting for the rest of the family to make their way across the ledge, he had insisted on an explanation.

"_What do you mean I am heir to a 20 billion dollar corporation_?"

"_If something happens to dad, you get GEH and I get the rest."_

His birth right, he had learned, ear marked for him the day he was born. Not that he gave a damn.

With a soft thud, Teddy's head hit the wall behind his chair. Not giving a damn was a whole of a lot easier on the top of the mountain than while facing Christian.

But first he had had a heart to heart with Samantha. Just the two of them, while the security detail kept themselves the hell out of ear shot.

"_Do you honestly not mind?"_

"_Mind what, specifically?" Samantha asked, her no-nonsense spirit having apparently recuperated._

"_Me, specifically. That I just waltz into your life and…get the company."_

"_You didn't just waltz into my life, and…" Sam's voice trembled, "it's not about the company, not the value of it anyway. For the record my inheritance is as big as yours."_

"_I don't understand," he insisted._

"_GEH is a part of him," Sam held his gaze and held herself in check. "That's what he wants you to have. And you have always been part of my life. Of his, mainly, but once I found out about you…," Sam paused to collect her thoughts. "I don't think this is going to make sense for anybody else, but when I found out about you, it brought me and dad closer. He didn't want anybody else to know that I knew about you and about his trips to see you. I know grandma and granddad and uncle Elliot saw the pictures and the videos, but dad didn't sit to watch with them. It was something we did together, each time he would come back from seeing you. I'm pretty sure he didn't talk to anybody else about that, but he talked to me."_

"_I don't know if I would have been that…accommodating to suddenly hear about a sibling," he admitted. "How old were you?" _

"_Eight," Samantha succinctly answered, but by then his own words had looped back in his mind and he could feel the heat rising from beneath his collar. _

"_I didn't mean it like that. I didn't have any expectations…" _

"_It's OK, Teddy," Sam stopped his rambling explanation, "you don't have the same frame of reference. Dad had been in an accident. I did have Gran and Gramp but…" Sam's eyes glided away from him and for a moment she looked faraway, then she came back from wherever she had gone and turned to him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I did use you, you know."_

"_What do you mean, you used me?"_

"_Sometimes it was hard to get dad to see my point, so I used you, and Emma, as in 'they are allowed'. Of course he then turned the tables on me."_

"_How?"_

_Standing, Samantha dead-pan informed him: "He made me do chores. He pointed out you guys had to do them. I think it's our turn," she nodded towards the ledge._

"_Ladies first," he pointedly waited for Samantha to go before him._

The sound of voices dragged him back to the present and he opened his eyes to see Mr Ellis's visitor stood by the secretary's desk.

"Mr Ellis, you wanted to see me?" he stood in the door to his mentor's office.

"Come in, Eddy. Close the door."

Twenty minutes later he was on his way to Rock Hill. He'd just gotten out of the office, went straight to his car and started driving.

Two days ago he had said good bye to Christian. '_I need some time to wrap my head around all of this_,' he had pleaded.

While Christian had abided by his plea, the rest of the world had other plans. Carter Ellis had figured out the connection between him and Christian and warned him others might as well.

His eyes darted to the rear view mirror to find the security detail trailing him. 'Edward Theodore Parson Grey' had sounded like a great idea a week ago. Then he had seen his mother and Christian together. Now his parents were divorcing... He would have to make a decision, before the choice was taken away from him.

**Wednesday August 3****rd**** – Rock Hill  
**

Ana was tidying the kitchen after the evening meal when her phone chimed a welcome interruption. Talking to Dan was limited to the practical details surrounding their impending separation and Eddy was back to avoiding her. The only conversations she had were with Emma, and those revolved around the need to reassure her daughter that neither parent was about to disappear from her life.

"Hello?" she answered the call from an unknown number.

"Ana? This is Mia. Is this a bad time?"

"Um, no, not at all," Ana mostly lied as she sat down on a high chair by the counter. The ensuing silence indicating her caller was as uneasy as she was, Ana breathed in. "How are you?" she attempted to ease the awkwardness.

"I'm fine. I'm still in Montana but we are going back to Seattle tonight. This is why I'm calling. I'm sorry for how the week-end turned out. I had no idea all of that was going to happen. After the way we parted…I was hoping to see you again, but Paul has made plans for us to travel around the country, show the children some of the sights, and I don't know if there'll be time…"

Mia's long winded explanation gave Ana time to recover from the reminder of the steely farewell in Montana. The Greys had arrived at the airport to find the Parsons in a quiet group, the only occupiers of the corner of the terminal reserved for first class and, apparently, private passengers. A moment of frozen awkwardness was broken when Grace made her way to Dan. Then Mia approached her as she had just caught a glimpse of Christian's shape just outside the room. Few worded apologies and vague plans to stay in touch mostly passed her by while her senses were preoccupied with monitoring Christian's progress without actually looking at him. A glance is all they had exchanged. For now they didn't need more words. It was hours later, on the plane back that she had realized they hadn't actually said good bye.

"I don't think any of us expected things to turn out the way they did."

"I still feel responsible, and I…was hopping that we could stay in touch?"

"Mia, this was not your fault. If anything I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. But since I did…well, we all know a little more than we did before."

"That's an understatement," Mia barked a laugh. "So are you okay?"

"I'm still…processing some of it but…yes, I think so. How are things at your end? How are Ava and Samantha?"

"Other than being pissed off at Christian, I'll live. Sam is OK, I think. She and Grace flew back with Christian Sunday evening. Ava is still with us."

"_Ava, I'm sorry for my outburst yesterday."_

"_It's not your fault, my mother shouldn't have said what she did about Sam," _the brave young woman had returned her handshake, but then immediately let go and moved away, without really meeting her gaze.

"And Teddy?" Mia interrupted her recollection of another strained goodbye.

Teddy had had a short private conversation with Christian. Only a few words ending with Christian nodding, and then quietly observing his son re-join his family. He had looked concerned but not really upset and Teddy had looked a little less tense…

"He has had a lot to deal with," she told Mia, "it's going to take him some time. Perhaps we need to do that too, take some time over this…"

"But you'll stay in touch?"

"I don't know how to contact you," Ana admitted, her eyes stinging from tears she refused to let fall.

"Oh, God, I'm so stupid. Of course! I'll text you my number, and my address, and I have an email…"

Mia's fading voice warned Ana her former sister in law wasn't wasting any time to act on her promise. Soon enough her phone vibrated with the incoming text message.

**Thursday August 2****nd**** \- Seattle**

Christian's house was dimly lit and the ground level lightning of the winding driveway didn't do much to dispel the darkness as Elliot allowed himself to be transported to the front door of his brother's residence.

"Your brother is expecting you, sir. Please just go in," his driver informed him while holding the car door open.

Slightly embarrassed, Elliot got out of the car and mumbled his thanks. Since when did he wait for someone else to open the door for him? The front door was unlocked and as soon as he set foot inside the piano notes assaulted his ears.

"Elliot, come on in," his brother's voice summoned from inside the music room.

This was one of the more blatant differences between him and his brother: while he did play guitar he did so in his men's den and had never found a use for a music room in general, let alone one as…precious as Christian's. That and their offices: the always pristine desk in his brother's office made it look as if the man did fuck-all all day long, while his was so covered in scattered papers, design rolls and various types of pens it looked like it would take a day and a half just to find what you needed. Annoyed at his wondering thoughts, Elliot braved the threshold of the music room and somewhat carefully seated himself on the couch. Christian playing, especially just for himself as like now, was an infrequent sight. The man wholly absorbed in the task reminded him of the brother he had grown up with: intense, focused, self-contained…

"What's up, Elliot?" the baritone interrupted the fresh bout of musings and only then did he realize the music had stopped.

"I've moved out of the house," he heard himself admit.

"Need somewhere to stay?" the gray eyes returned an unflinching stare.

"No. I'll rent somewhere."

"I've got the space if you need it. You can use the guest house if you want some privacy."

"You knew."

"Both you and Ava have security details. McKenzie needs to make new arrangements. I read the report."

"Christian, I need to talk to you."

A slow nod invited him to continue.

"Can we move somewhere else? This is…" Elliot let his gaze sweep over the grand piano and the mostly empty space.

"Not your cup of tea," Christian rose from his seat.

Much more comfortable ensconced in a leather armchair in the library, Elliot watched Christian open the doors to the dry bar and raise a questioning eyebrow.

"No thanks," he shook his head, then something occurred to him. "What have you done?" he asked his brother keeping his voice carefully neutral.

"What do you mean?" Christian gracefully lowered himself onto the couch.

Tigers were graceful, and panthers. Were lions graceful? Elliot made an effort to keep his thoughts together. No sleep in almost 48 hours was definitely taking its toll.

"Don't fuck with me, Christian. You've not asked a single question."

"I can't just stand by and allow someone to get between me and my family, Elliot."

"You are talking about Ana and Teddy. You've spoken to Kate."

"And Samantha, and yes I did."

"Is there any point in asking what about?"

"Only if you are certain you want to know," the warning landed heavily between them.

"She has asked for a divorce. We've agreed to let the lawyers hash it out but she will settle for money rather than actual ownership in Grey Constructions. Does it have anything to do with you?"

"Until Saturday I was only aware that Katherine knew where Ana and Teddy were and withholding that information from me. I have now found out that there was a two hour gap when Ray and Katherine were alone. That is when Ray saw the tape and everything changed. That fact alone wouldn't implicate Katherine, but I have to take into account Ana's accusation that Katherine lied. We already know she lied to Grace about Ana not wanting to speak with her. That in itself is bad enough. Given both her and Ana's refusal to clarify what she has told Ray, I am left with the conclusion that it was something significant, something that has determined Ray's course of action, ultimately leading him to ensure Ana and I had no further contact with each other."

"So what did you do?" Elliot refused to be pacified.

"I gave her a choice. She could stay in Seattle and lose the company, or she could take the company and relocate out of state."

"So that's why she is going for the money rather than shared ownership. She'll just start over, you know that right?" Elliot warned.

"Not an option," Christian countered.

"You intend to block her? So if she stays in Seattle…she'll have to what? Live off her fortune? Even without her company Kate is well connected and resourceful, she might just reinvent herself as a…socialite, or go into politics or charities, I don't really see her working for somebody else but with the two of you one never knows."

"Elliot, you are my brother and I don't want this to come between us. As your wife and Ava's mother, Katherine is safe. As Katherine Kavanagh however, she is fair game."

Trying to second guess Christian was never an easy task but this time Elliot had a couple of leads, one of them being the very reason he had come to see his brother.

"So what you really mean is that she can choose to stay with me or she'll find herself socially isolated. And you know that you can do that, because you have done it before, haven't you?"

"Yes," Christian succinctly admitted, keen to get off this subject.

Rising from his armchair, Elliot looked down at his brother, who had lifted his head just enough to maintain eye contact. Collecting his thoughts, Elliot paced until he stood behind the armchair. Grasping the backrest of the antique piece of furniture with both hands, he fixed his gaze on Christian. Normally he'd have even less luck confronting the man than he had second guessing him, but perhaps he could use his tactics against him.

"It has been playing on my mind, you know, how we have all kept secrets from each other. How it started is pretty obvious: you didn't tell Ana about Marlene. But trying to figure out why has been much harder to nail. When you told us about Marlene and her dominant your words were 'once she told me who the man was, I had to be certain'. Why did it matter who the man was? You would never stand for someone abusing a woman no matter who they were. You mentioned he was part of our social circle, so I figured it had to be more than a casual acquaintance or you wouldn't hesitate to go after them. You also said you and a couple of other dominants 'dealt with him'. So I've been trying to think back of anything unusual going on with anyone from our close social circle at the time. There is one story that has never made much sense. I am ready to bet what's left of my company that Donald Kavanagh never touched a line of cocaine in his life."

"Elliot," Christian started but was immediately interrupted.

"I sat next to him at the dinner table, Christian! He has bounced Ava on his knees! You didn't think I had a right to know?"

"And what exactly would you have done about it?" Christian's question froze the air between them. "Cut off all ties? How would you have explained that to anybody? How would you have explained to Ava that she is not allowed to interact with her grandfather? Besides do you really think I would have allowed any of you near him if I thought he presented any danger to any of you?"

Agitated, Christian stood and ran both hands through his hair, then turned his back on the room to stare through the windows into the darkness. "Once he had been stripped of his power, his money and his freedom of movement, Donald was harmless. He was, still is, under constant surveillance and he knows it."

"What the hell, Christian?"

"There is no excuse for what he did, but there is an explanation. He is not a violent man. He was an influential man, with a certain degree of power and he was used to getting his way with a whole string of female employees, not an unusual story. But that game gets old and he wanted more. He believed a BDSM relationship could give him that. It is however a delicate balance.

"The submissive needs to have someone else take control. To what extent, in what areas of their lives and within which limits is something that has to be clearly established. In the next step the Dominant takes over. That is the power rush. But it has to be held in check by respect for the agreed limits. If the limits are reached or possibly breached, the submissive has a safe word. That is an absolute command for everything to stop, but it goes beyond that: if a sub has been put in a situation where they need to safe-word, it's the dominant's fault. They are the one who need to apologize, take care of the sub and ensure the situation doesn't repeat itself. Donald was too new to that role to understand this. He was pushing the limits and made Marlene feel guilty and inadequate when she safe-worded. She not only went beyond her limits, but she ended up constantly doubting herself. That is when BDSM crossed over into abuse. It is a difficult situation to get out of in any relationship and even more so if the abused already has a submissive frame of mind and had freely ceded control of at least part of their mind or body.

"When we confronted Donald, at first he didn't understand the problem. In his mind the type of relationship gave him free reins. It didn't take long to get him to see the point. I would like to say that he was horrified, but he wasn't. He was however remorseful. He too was given a choice: go along with a fabricated story or have the rumours spread through the social and business circles. He **was** in rehab, just not for cocaine abuse. He was in a programme specifically tailored towards people who engaged in psychological or physical abuse. Once he was released he immediately accepted his unofficial house arrest. That went hand in hand with stepping down from Kavanagh Media and giving Donna control of their finances."

"And you have him under surveillance? How?"

"His housekeeper and gardener are my employees. Their house security system is monitored by my people. As far as I know he never tried anything."

"He never came to see Ava, we had to go to him, and he missed Ethan's wedding,"

Just one hand this time combing through his hair, Christian practically sighed: "I was not the only one making the decisions, Elliot. In fact I was hardly making any decisions at all when Ava was born. But they were right: it was too soon."

"'They' as in the other doms?"

"Yes."

"But they did go on a cruise and they have been away a few times, him and Donna."

"That was for Donna. And they were never alone."

Too tired to try and clarify what that last sentence meant, Elliot shook his head. "Did it ever occur to the three of you that it wasn't right to take things into your hands like that? Do I even want to know who the other two are?"

"No, and no."

"And Kate has no idea?"

"I hope not."

"'The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity'?"

"You're quoting the Bible? You are aware that the book repeatedly contradicts itself on that point, right?" Christian couldn't resist pointing out. Then he took in his brother's drawn expression and relented. "Something like that."

**AN: I do hope to post a new chapter before the end of the year, but if not it will be the first weekend in January. In the mean time, since the end is nearing for this part of the story, I am trying to decide on what to do about their forever after. I have a few ideas and of course I know where I want to take them, but as for the actual events in the story I am happy to take suggestions as to what you would like to see. Interractions between the characters, events in their lives, adventures...There are only two things off the table: no pairing between the cousins and no Kate (she will only show up one more time in this story and once in the next part) .**

**Since a few people have already asked: Sam is not Kate's syster! Marlene didnt' get pregnant until November and by that time she was in Vegas and Donald was in rehab.**


	66. Ch 61 The dust settles

**AN: Merry Christmas to all of you lovely ladies! Since online shopping has been such an incredible time saver I actually found enough time to write the next chapter so here it is. Starting with clarifying the confusion from the last chapter...**

Ch 61 The dust settles

**Friday August 5****th**** – Seattle**

Elliot was awakened from a deep sleep by a single terrifying thought endlessly circling through his mind. Cold sweat drenching his body, he lay unmoving in the dark. Had Christian ever mentioned Samantha's biological father?

'_Marlene doesn't know who the biological father is.' _

His rapid heartbeat started to slow.

'_There had been several random onetime encounters in Vegas … she had not realized she was pregnant….'_

Samantha was born in August. Nine months before that was November. Donald didn't get back from rehab until the end of the month and had not left the house for…years after that. "Thank fuck," Elliot mumbled sinking back into the mattress.

But even if Samantha was not Kate's half-sister, going back to sleep was not an option. Throwing the covers off him, he marched himself into the shower. While the hot water rinsed the cold sweat from his body, his thoughts remained on that hour in the office in Montana, snippets of conversations flitting through his mind until he stumbled over one moment:

"_Luke said Teddy was about five."_

"_Sawyer," Christian corrected her and the atmosphere changed, a different kind of tension zinging through the air._ _Predator and prey_…_"Sawyer," Christian, re-enforced his wish._

"_Luke," Ana whispered, setting fire to the charge._

Yet somehow Christian had resisted the heat and kept himself under control…'_the power rush…has to be held in check by respect for the agreed limits…'_ Abruptly Elliot turned the water temperature down to cold. Whatever his brother was up to, he had his own mess to deal with. Matt and Mary were coming to Seattle in just over a day and he had yet to have a real conversation with Ava.

Back in the room, he retrieved his phone from his discarded trousers and set an alarm for 10.30: text Ava.

**Saturday August 6****th**** – Seattle**

Training in the mornings was a routine Christian rarely skipped. Forcing tense muscles to limber up, he pushed them until burning heat spread through his legs and arms and enveloped his back and his abdominals. Ana and Teddy had both asked for time; Grace, Mia and Elliot were still coming to terms with the previous weekend and Sam had been uncharacteristically reserved. His body however was still responding to the demands he placed on it.

A little after eight he entered the kitchen to explore the breakfast options.

"Morning Dad," Sam joined him while he was still taking items out of the fridge.

"Sam, you're up early. Breakfast?"

Eyeing the items on the counter, Sam graced him with a smile. "Why don't I do that instead? You could…catch up with the news or something," she waved towards the neatly folded newspaper on the corner of the table.

A couple of years ago, Samantha had pointed out that for both of them to both cook and clean was a waste of resources. Heeding to her preference, Christian abandoned his chores for the comfort of a seat. "Still not keen on picking up, then?" he couldn't resist teasing as he unfolded the newspaper.

Since their house keeper had pre-prepared most of what they would need, it didn't take Sam long to bring their meal to the table.

"Do you have anything planned for today?" Christian enquired.

"Not really. Why?"

"We could take the boat out. The wind is expected to die between 9 and 10.30 and you could pilot on the lake, or if we stay out until seven you could do that on the way back."

"Are you sure?" Sam hesitated.

"We'll see how the traffic is," Christian acknowledged the difficulty of navigating Lake Washington in a boat as big as the Grace, "but you are getting pretty good at it."

Beaming under her father's praise, Sam resumed her breakfast.

"How come you're up so early?" Christian asked after a few moments.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Go on," Christian prompted.

"Uh…it's about my birthday. I was thinking of moving it to Aspen."

"That's a little short notice, Sam. I don't know if I can secure a night club in this time frame."

"We won't need a club. There'll only be nine of us. We could stay at the house."

"That should be doable. May I ask why the change in plans?"

Done with her food, Sam set aside her cutlery. "I invited Teddy and Emma and Nick and it might not be a good idea to go out in Seattle. Also, Christina, Alex and Seb are going back to Italy after my birthday and we have barely spent any time together. We could go Friday evening and come back Monday. I asked Aunt Mia and she has agreed. Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"The idea is that it would be just us, the cousins. She was not happy with only the house-keeper and security to… chaperone."

"She has a point."

Sam squinted her eyes at her father. "Nick is twenty three."

"That might be a little unfair to him," Christian countered, then frowned, "Who is the ninth?"

"That's the other thing I wanted to tell you. We were thinking of asking Matthew if he wanted to come."

Carefully keeping his reaction under control, Christian took a couple of seconds to assess this new development. '_We_' was clearly made of Sam and Ava…"Sam, I'm not saying no, but there are a few things we will need to clarify and I would like to understand why you are doing this."

"Okay, but can we do that on the boat? It's not straight forward so it might take a while to explain."

**Sunday August 7****th**** – Rock Hill**

On the top floor of the Martial Arts Centre, Nick sat on a bench watching his brother finish his routine. He winced in sympathy when Eddy went down –hard – then grinned when he bounced right back into the fight. They had both escaped the house for a couple of hours under the excuse of getting some exercise.

Their parents were divorcing. Their mother was going to move out of the house. Their dad insisted it had nothing to do with Eddy's father, but…

"_Ana!"_

Christian's desperate call had brought them all out of the adjoining room. Beyond the words, it was the fierce hold on the woman in his arms and the look of adoration on her face that had burned through the pretense, incinerated any trace of doubt and branded everyone in attendance with the truth that would no longer be ignored. Then the moment was broken and their mother advanced towards them. Dan had herded his family and returned all of them to the hotel. An hour later another illusion had come to an end.

"_Perhaps we should have told you sooner, but we thought today was going to be difficult enough as it were. This decision is not about Christian or about the Greys, it's about us. Your mother and I had a good life, but we have now grown apart past the point where we can see ourselves having a future together. We care about each other and we would rather separate now than make each other miserable_."

That had been the consistent message their parents had delivered since: they were still their parents, the life they had all shared had been just as it had seemed and there was no resentment or anger towards each other. There was sadness that their relationship had come to an end, but they will work through it. Reassurance and a united front were all good but if he were to be honest it had put a damper on their questions, until Emma could no longer contain hers: "_Was it because of me? Is that why you got married?"_

Their mother had taken that one: "_Emma, you were not an obligation. Dan and I had known each other for almost a year. Nick and …Teddy already knew each other and they were getting along well. You were perhaps the nudge we needed to move forward, but we didn't get married because we had to. We got married because we believed we could build a life together_."

The reminder of how their family had begun had brought back vague memories of moving in together, then of jealousy when Eddy started calling Dan 'dad' and of his own shyness at calling Belle 'mom', the wonder of baby Emma, the years of sibling fighting and complicity…The past few months he had held himself at a distance, as if the drama going on around him didn't really concern him, but it did. The family coming apart was his family.

Faced with the threat of a loss, the fighter in him had rebelled. There had to be more holding them together than the walls of their family home! They'll find their way through the rough times ahead and he was willing to do his part.

On the mat in the middle of the room Eddy soared and twisted mid-air to deliver his kick, then stumbled through his landing. On top of their parents' divorce his kid brother had the relationship with his biological father to deal with, an identity crisis and a whole new family…

He hadn't expected to be more than a spectator to Eddy's interaction with the Greys, yet in a few days he was once again going to find himself on a private plane, this time headed to Aspen, Colorado.

'_You're Teddy's brother. You're family.'_

Last Saturday, Sam, Ava, Christina, Emma, Eddy and him had met in an attempt to leave the grown-up drama behind them for a few hours and ended up in a bowling alley in Whitefish. Christina was safe, but the rest of them had laughed too loud, thrown the balls too hard, moved too fast … Whatever happened next, their families were never going to be the same. Between the plea in Sam's eyes and an elbow nudge from his sister, he had accepted the invitation. That evening the cousins had made their own choices: they were going to stand together, no matter what.

Once again Eddy launched himself at his opponent then was too slow backing off after delivering his kick, leaving himself open to a blow. Instinctively Nick stood up. Having your big brother step into a friendly sparring match would be humiliating, but this was getting damn close to a beating.

"What the hell, man?" Eddy's partner panted, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, fine," Eddy stood up. "Let's try that again."

"No, man. Your head's not into this and I'm not sending you to the ER."

"Eddy, if you want to have lunch together, we need to get going," Nick jumped on the opportunity.

With a 'later for you' look at his brother, Eddy stretched his hand to his sparring partner. "Thanks Steve. You're right; perhaps we should do this some other time."

Minutes later the brothers had showered and were changing into street clothes.

"What the hell happened out there?" Nick asked.

"Other than you hovering like a mother hen, you mean?"

"You were getting the crap beaten out of you."

When only silence followed, Nick looked up from tying his shoe laces. Eddy was just sitting there, hands on his knees, a weird look on his face. Wordlessly he sat next to his brother.

"I've no idea what the hell I'm doing any more," Eddy admitted.

"Okay, that's a start. What about?"

For a moment it looked like Eddy was at least considering talking to him, but then he just bent forward to retrieve his shoes from under the bench.

"Eddy, you're making a bigger deal out of this than you have to," he pointed out.

"Easy for you to say, none of this is your fault."

"And you think it's yours?"

A shrug was all Nick got, and if he thought a slap on the head would help, he would have gladly delivered it. Unfortunately his brother didn't work that way. "How is any of this your fault?"

"You gonna make me say it? You were there last week. If I hadn't decided I wanted to get to know the Greys, that meeting would have never happened."

Nick held his brother's stare wondering how to get through to him. In the end he went with the truth: "When I first figured out the connection between you and Christian, I was shocked. Remember when we were kids and I would be Spiderman and you were Batman? It was like finding out that you really were Batman. It took me a while to wrap my head around it, and I admit that on some level I kind of shrugged the whole think off: cape or no cape, you were still my brother Eddy. Then last weekend I saw you and Christian together. You can't deny that connection any more than you can deny your right arm.

"You turning your back on Christian, or keeping him at arm's length, is not going to stop mom and dad from separating. Mom had moved upstairs a week before your graduation. I'm not saying it's not gonna be awkward for a while, but if mom and dad are okay with what's going on then we'll have to adjust.

"Then it's you and dad. Dad is okay with whatever you do, as long as it makes you happy. He'd be hurt if you turned your back on him, but I don't think you are planning to do that, so there's no problem there. That leaves you. Whether you want to accept your past and live with it, or decide you want to go on as Eddy Parson."

"And you don't mind?"

"That you are Batman? Nope. But if it gets to your head, I will kick your ass."

"Nick, I'm serious."

"So am I. The kick-your -ass-if-you-get-fancy-notions plan has been on my to-do list since you got your SAT scores. The truth is you were always going to go up north and become this big shot lawyer. This way…you're just going to be an even bigger shot."

Since his brother didn't look convinced, Nick tried a different angle: "Have you considered all the good that has come out of this?"

"Emma," Eddy nodded. "I'll always owe him for her not being a cripple."

"That and he probably saved my ass from getting a record. Remember that fight I got into and the fire?"

"Mom and dad were pretty mad at you, I remember that. What does it have to do with this?"

"Santos, Roger, Paolo and I started that fight. We didn't set fire to the joint, but we had motive for the fight, we had obviously been in one, and Julian and his guys placed us at the scene. Dad's testimony that I was at home when the fire started was not worth a damn. We were all over sixteen, so they were going to charge us as adults. Then a witness came out of nowhere and testified we had left the scene before the fire started. Since we were denying the assault and Julian had been caught lying, all charges were dropped."

"Okay, yes, I remember some of that. So?"

"The witness lied. He was never there. We had been waiting the whole evening for the coast to clear, for everyone to leave. There was no white Dodge on that street and there was no one sitting in any of the cars that **were** there. I'm certain of it."

"Why would he do that?"

"Something I've been asking myself for a while. I wanted to ask him, thank him, but he left town as soon as the charges were dropped."

"And you think it has something to do with Christian?"

"It's the only explanation that makes sense. You heard McKenzie: we've had security since Christian found you. They knew I was home when I said I was, but couldn't tell the judge why they knew, so he made up the white Dodge and being in the street."

"Does Dad know?"

"About the false testimony? No. I was in enough trouble as it were."

"What were you fighting about anyway?"

Putting on his big-brother-knows-best air of superiority, Nick landed a heavy hand on Eddy's shoulder as he stood up: "A woman, of course," then cursed his own stupidity at putting that subject back on the table. Dropping all pretense of making light of the conversation he met his brother's eyes square on: "Make a choice for yourself, Eddy, the rest of us will deal."

A few hours later, as yet another weekend was winding down, Nick and Carol-Ann shared tacos and Mexican beers at El Caribe. In three weeks she was moving to Raleigh to start her masters. And he was about to follow his own advice: make a choice for himself.

"I'm going to start looking for work in Raleigh," he informed her.

"You are?"

"Long distance relationships just don't work and between your folks not liking me and you being awkward around mine, Rock Hill is not really an option. We'll have to make do for a while, but… it's not like I had planned to retire from where I am now, anyway," he shrugged off the seriousness of his decision.

Whatever reply was behind the tender look on her face was rudely interrupted by Nick's phone. Hastily retrieving the device to shut it off, Nick stopped at the sight of the caller name.

"Go on," Carol-Ann waved him on.

"Hello?"

…

"Uh, no, not at all. "

….

"Of course I will but I will have to ask Carol-Ann if she would be willing."

…..

"Ah, certainly. I'll do that tonight and let you know."

…..

"Thank you for trusting me with this," Nick ended his conversation and slowly placed the phone on the table.

"Everything all right?" Carol-Ann interrupted his staring at the device.

"Um, yeah. An unexpected development," Nick raised his head. "That was **Christian**. He wondered if I would be willing to function as a chaperone at Samantha's birthday, since I will be the oldest. He also asked whether you would be inclined to attend. Samantha would have extended the invitation herself but he insisted he wanted to speak with me first."

Wide-eyed, Carol-Ann whispered "Christian as in…**that **Christian?"

"Yup. So what do you say?"

"About what?"

"Would you be willing to join us in Aspen next weekend?" Nick echoed Christian's formality.

"I…uh, don't know."

"He won't be there," he ventured a guess.

"Oh. Uh…yes, I …suppose I am," Carol-Ann scrambled to gather her wits.

"Okay. I'll let him know. Okay if I send him your number to pass to Samantha? She would like to invite you herself."

"Yeah, sure," Carol-Ann replied, still struggling to formulate proper sentences.

Quickly typing his reply, Nick then brought his girlfriend up to speed with the details of their trip to Colorado. "There'll be a plane waiting to pick us up at the Wilson Air Center Friday at 6 pm. We'll be in Aspen just before midnight and will come back Monday afternoon."

"_**A**_planeas in a private plane?"

"Yep."

"Nick, what am I going to tell my parents?"

"Oh, I've not thought about that. Do you have to give them the details?"

"Perhaps not," Carol-Ann frowned, then shook her head.

"What?"

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but…my mom would die if she knew where I was going next Friday."

As the two shared a chuckle, their hands found themselves entwined and when their gaze met all thoughts of Christian Grey left their minds.

"So, Raleigh, huh?" Carol-Ann resumed their earlier conversation.

**Monday August 8****th**** – Seattle**

A knock on the door interrupted Christian's semi-formal meeting with his COO in the conference room adjoining his office. Meghan Freeman, his current PA, swiftly made her way to the table and deposited a message in front of him then immediately left the room.

"Roz, are we good here? I have a visitor."

"Sure. Most of this can wait and I'll send you a memo for the rest. But I need a go-no go for Reihman &amp; Co."

"I'll get back to you around ten," Christian rose from his chair. "Ladies and gentleman, thank you for your time," he addressed the people in the half a dozen open video links on the wall screen, then left the room via the door leading directly to his office.

"Send her in, Meghan," he spoke into the interphone then sat in the chair behind his desk.

"Katherine," he stood to greet his visitor only seconds later.

"Christian," she returned the formal greeting as she crossed the distance between the door and his desk.

"I need more time," Kate informed him as soon as they were both seated.

"For?"

"It takes time to organize a move."

"Indeed," Christian again rose from his chair, this time to retrieve a folder from the bookcase on the left wall of his office. "This should speed things up some. You have until December," he offered her the folder. When she ignored the offering, he placed it on the desk in front of her and resumed his seat.

"That is less than four months!" Kate found her voice.

"So it is. The folder contains a list of potential locations for new offices. Shutting down operations here can be done remotely. Given the short time-frame, GEH Business Logistics can offer assistance, should you need it."

"Why this particular dead-line?" Kate eventually broke the silence.

"A non-contest divorce in King County takes three months. Assuming you file by the end of the month, proceedings should be concluded early December."

"Is there anything Elliot doesn't share with you?" she spit her words.

"I don't need Elliot to tell me that you are divorcing him, Katherine. Your presence here speaks of the choice you have made."

"I could take half his company. We have a prenup. My lawyers assure me it's ironclad."

"That's between you and Elliot."

"You don't care that your brother could lose half his company?"

"Elliot will recover," Christian held her gaze.

"But I won't. Would you really bankrupt Grey Constructions?"

As Christian simply stared back, Kate raked her brain for what else she could say. Her position in Seattle was about to become untenable. Christian's influence would ensure Elliot would remain a part of the business and social circles even after publicly acknowledging his son. At best she would have to pretend it didn't bother her, at worst she would find herself shut out of most social circles. Ignoring the folder on the table, she stood, then turned to walk away and…From a portrait by the side of the door, Ana was looking at her, an amused expression on her face. On the other side of the double door a similar portrait showed her more composed. Stunned, Kate just stood staring.

"I thought you were trying to…keep a lid on this. Didn't want people asking questions."

"Very few people are permitted into this office," Christian informed her from close behind.

Kate turned inquisitive eyes to search Christian's face. "You wanted me to see them," she realized. "Why?"

"They remind me not to take myself too seriously. I have another pair in my home office. She is smiling in one and scowling in the other. Those are a reminder that there might be more than one way to achieve a goal."

"Are you trying to tell me that you are doing…whatever you are doing to…make her smile?" Kate frowned.

"Not always. But I do think twice when I know she wouldn't like it."

"Why are you telling me this, Christian?"

"Because I have my suspicions on what might have transpired between you and Ray and I would like to hear the details from you."

"And you think seeing her might soften me? Ana hates me now."

"I don't think she is capable of that, but no. I was trying to convey that she might soften me. You are clearly afraid of my reaction."

Her head tilted, Kate once again searched the face of her adversary for clues. The man seemed to be in earnest and her mind started racing. "Are you offering a deal?"

"I didn't intend to," Christian's eyebrow lifted, "but, okay. Answer my question and you get an extra month on the relocation."

"Two," Kate countered.

"Two," Christian agreed.

"Why is this so important to you? It's not as if it's going to change anything. The two of you are going to get back together so it's just a matter of time before you find out anyway."

"Because as much as I have learned in Montana there are still a few pieces missing and I would like to have a full picture. And while I hope we will get back together, Ana is considering her options. She'll let me know."

"And you are okay with that?"

"Whether I am okay with her decision is not relevant. All that is required is that I respect it."

"And you will respect her decision no matter what it is?" Kate reformulated.

"Kicking and screaming and possibly after putting up a fight, but ultimately, yes. So, you and Ray?"

Kate bowed her head to collect her thoughts. When she raised it back again her gaze remained on Ana's smiling face. "How much have you guessed?"

"You have shown Ray the CCTV tape and provided him with an explanation that put me in an unfavorable light."

The silence stretched until Christian started doubting whether Katherine would actually come clean, but then she finally caved: "It was an accident. Ana had mentioned a tape and Ray caught me watching it. Ray was a young man, just over forty when Carla left him and he got custody of Ana. He had given up his career and practically lived for her. When he saw that tape he went ballistic. I was not quick enough to think of anything else but the truth. He was going to publicly expose you. It was only when I reminded him of what such media attention would do to Ana that he relented. But then he was going to talk to Grace and Carrick. I panicked. I told him they already knew.

"You called in the middle of that discussion. I heard him ask you to remove security and when the SUV drove away I hoped that…I don't know," she shrugged, "that he will appreciate the gesture and calm down some. He questioned how much I knew about…your life style and I admitted Ana had shared some details with me in confidence, but reassured me that you were not doing that anymore. I stayed the night but I had to leave for Seattle early next morning.

"I tried to get hold of Ana later in the day, but she had gone to the lake and left her phone with Ray. Early afternoon Ray called me to ask if I could stay with Ana the following day. He was under the impression that you were in Seattle and wanted to meet with you. Since I knew better I agreed, but then I started wondering and before driving to Montesano I went by your house on the sound. The guard knew me and told me you were staying at Escala."

"You told Ana you saw me driving into GEH."

It took Kate a moment to locate Christian, who was now sitting on the couch. "Not that day. She had not heard from you and I had no idea how to tell her that her husband wasn't on a business trip but was actually living in the apartment where she had seen evidence of him with another woman. I waited for Ray to come back. He told me had spoken with you and gave you a choice between Ana and your life style. By Friday Ana had still not heard from you. She asked me about the time difference with Japan… It was time for her to know that you were not where you had said you were, but I couldn't tell her why I had gone looking for you earlier in the week, so I told her I had seen you driving into GEH.

"I had some contact with her the following weeks but I had my own problems. I had promised Elliot I was going to take it easy during the pregnancy and now dad had to step down and I had to take over the company and deal with a scandal. When Ray called to tell me Grace and Carrick had tried to see Ana and asked me to keep them away from him, there was no way to explain why Ray didn't want to see them so I told them Ana needed some space.

"Then Ana started talking about a divorce. You had not made any attempt to contact her, were staying at Escala and Ray said you wouldn't contest the divorce, so I assumed you had made your choice. There was no reason to tell Ana I had breached her confidence or to correct Ray's belief that Grace and Carrick were aware of your life style. Ana was worried about what was going to happen after the divorce and Ray took her away for a trip on the coast. You were reported as being away yourself and the press was rife with speculations, so I encouraged her to stay away from Seattle for a while. I didn't know Ray had made those elaborate plans to change their names."

"Did you know Ray had tampered with Ana's phone? That he ensured my - in fact all our numbers - were blocked?" Christian eventually broke the silence.

"Yes."

"And you didn't think that was relevant?"

"You were Christian Grey! When did an unanswered call ever stop you from getting what you wanted?"

"Not me, Katherine. Did you not think how devastating it must have been for Ana to try and reach any of us and never receive an answer?"

"She never asked about anyone else!"

"But she did ask about me," Christian saw through her attempt at deflecting the answer. "You never considered she had a right to know why I never answered any of her calls or replied to any of her messages?"

"You were…doing whatever you were doing with that…woman!" Kate blazed.

"Not to mention that it would have exposed your initial involvement," Christian rose from the couch. "Why were you so afraid Ray would approach Grace and Carrick? I would have thought it would have made you happy if my private choices were revealed."

"She would have known I had betrayed her confidence," Kate's eyes glistened with tears.

"No," Christian shook his head. "There was something about protecting your life with Elliot."

"Elliot was upset with me, furious. He believed I was endangering our baby by taking over Kavanagh Media so late in the pregnancy. If he were to find out I had caused a rift in the Grey family, I would have lost him."

"But with both Ana and Ray out of town, your secret was safe. Last week you told me Elliot was prepared to choose you."

"He was," Kate swallowed unshed tears. "We had a deal," she reminded him.

Once Katherine left his office, Christian resumed his seat behind the desk. "Meghan," he spoke into the interphone, "can you come in, please."

"Mr Grey," the efficient PA stepped through the door seconds later.

"Take that folder and courier it to Kavanagh Media. For the attention of Katherine Kavanagh."


	67. Ch 62 Ground zero

**AN: Happy New Year everyone! **

**Tuesday, August 9th – Rock Hill**

Teddy arrived home in the early evening to find his mother tending the flower beds by the porch, half-dragging/half-lifting the two gallon water can. 'No hose on the flower beds' had been one of her rules since he could remember…

"Mom, I can do that," he reached for the can.

"Oh, hi, thank you," Ana relinquished the heavy object but didn't go further than to the porch. In a few days she would move out from the house she had called a home which meant this was the last time she tended her flowers. Battling waves of nostalgia she sat down on the steps.

"_Moooom," Eddy's wail brought her out of the house to find Nick chasing him on the front lawn…_

_Instead of watering the flowers Nick was wildly swining the water can in his brother's direction. Footprints between the bushes and the incriminating evidence of mud on Eddy's shoes…_

"Mom?" Teddy's call startled her from her memory.

This had happened a few times since she had signed the paperwork for the apartment. Last night instead of the empty seats around the kitchen table she had pictured Nick and Eddy throwing bread bullets at each other, their antics making Emma squeal with delight from her high chair.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I was just…remembering. Why did you choose the kitchen?"

"What?"

"When you got to choose your chores, why the kitchen? You were not interested in cooking."

"Mom, that was ten years ago!" Teddy started smiling, but the strange expression on his mother's face made him stop. "You really want to know?"

"Mhm."

"The kitchen was your territory. I was betting I wouldn't have to do much. It kind of worked too, until Nick decided he wanted to learn how to cook and then Emma decided she didn't."

"I see," Ana pressed her lips together to prevent the chuckle from escaping.

"Go ahead, laugh," Teddy said his own eyes dancing with mirth.

Thirteen year old Nick had enjoyed surprising the rest of the family with more or less edible culinary creations. But that had left Eddy having to empty the dishwasher a second time and put out an extra bag of trash. Astonishingly a couple of years later Emma managed to create the same chaos in the kitchen minus the culinary result…Ana diverted her eyes before they could betray her inner turmoil.

"Mom, what's going to happen now?" Teddy gently probed into the sudden silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to…get back with…Does he know? About the divorce and you moving out?"

"Christian? He knows about the divorce but I haven't spoken with him since Montana. I hurt him and betrayed him and I don't know if he can truly forgive me for that. What about you? Are you…okay?"

"I don't know," Teddy averted his gaze.

"I'm sorry I took you from your father and that you didn't get to know him until now. I know you are struggling with that and that you are torn between Dan and Christian. I understand that you are angry with me but if there is anything I can do to help you through this, please tell me."

"How do you do it? How do you know who you are?" Ana's body tensed in response to the anger in her son's voice, and then she had to face the accusation in his eyes as he turned to face her. "A month ago you said you were thinking of me as Eddy. Is that still true?"

"You are Eddy in most of my memories, but I always knew who you were. I was just too much of a coward to acknowledge it."

"Would you have told me, if I had asked?"

"This is not on you, Eddy! You can't blame yourself."

"Not Teddy?"

"No, this has to be your choice, not mine."

"I don't think I can go back to just being Eddy, and you didn't answer my question."

Ana searched her son's face. The handsome young man with the set jaw and troubled eyes - so much like his father and yet so different…"I would have told you some of it, more if you had wanted to know. But until this spring what I had to say would have been mostly wrong." Hesitantly, Ana reached out for his hand, "The way things happened mean that by the time you found out he is your father you also found out that he cares about you, that he has found ways to be there for you, for us."

"But I am also Dan's son!"

"Yes, and mine."

Sitting on the steps of the porch of their family home, looking down at his mother's hand wrapped around his, Teddy slowly admitted "I think I will always be Eddy while I'm in Rock Hill."

"And beyond this town?" Ana encouraged him with a tiny squeeze of her hand.

"Edward Theodore Parson Grey," Teddy sighed.

* * *

**Wednesday, August 10****th**** \- Seattle**

Dr Carl Renner observed his patient as he strode into the room. After postponing his appointment twice, Christian Grey had finally kept it this time. While he had always had a tendency to control their encounters, that had usually taken the form of passive resistance. This time however the man was clearly on a mission. He was here to get some answers and Renner wasn't sure he was ready to hear them.

"Have you acquainted yourself with Dr Flynn's notes?" Christian's opening question confirmed Renner's suspicions.

"Since you asked me to, yes I have."

"And?"

"Those notes were made over twenty years ago. Is there a reason why you wanted me to delve into your past?"

"I don't know that it is my past."

"Is there something in particular that concerns you?"

"I used to practice BDSM."

"So I gathered."

"I want your opinion on the reasons I have been attracted to that life style and persisted in it."

"You have discussed this with Dr Flynn for several years. Why the sudden need for a second opinion?"

"I have reason to believe Flynn was wrong in his assessment."

"You don't think it was avoidance behaviour?"

"I am more interested in what **you** think, Doctor."

"Mr Grey, one of Dr Flynn's major concerns regarding you was the negative way in which you view yourself. I am not going to risk compounding that type of self-destructive mind set. So before I offer my opinion I would like to have a little more background information."

It took a few seconds but eventually his patient conceded: "What is it you need to know?"

"What happened in Montana?"

"I spent several hours alone with Ana. The way I reacted to her, my behaviour, contradicted everything I had come to believe about myself. I bossed her around, practically told her the only way out was to safe word. She pointed out that my controlling ways are a need rather than a choice and indicated that this might be a problem should she decide she wants a relationship with me."

"That was…succinct," Renner blinked. Most of his patients had a tendency to ramble, this one however…At least now he knew what an executive summary sounded like. "**Did** she safeword?"

"No."

"Are you certain she understood this is what you were telling her?"

"Yes."

"Mr Grey," Renner sighed.

"There are unspoken clues, body language. We were fighting. She asked me to let her go. I reached out and held her, then told her she had to tell me if that was not where she wanted to be. She stopped resisting, lowered her eyes. That was as close to relaxing in her bonds as it gets. She knew. She didn't safeword."

"And when did the control issue come up?"

"Several times actually, but the comment that brought me here today was at the end of our encounter, after we had exchanged stories. She pointed out that I might not want to control her but that I needed to. That need scares both of us," Christian frowned.

"Is there something else?" Renner enquired.

"She warned me to not make her prove it or I wouldn't be able to let her go but then she, again, provoked me."

"And you let her go."

"While feeling immensely better about myself."

"Can I ask how she provoked you?"

"I was once again holding her. We weren't fighting, just talking. I asked her opinion on how we were going to solve the issue of our lingering fears and she tried to induce me to kiss her."

"But you didn't," Renner barely managed to speak while biting the inside of his cheek. Laughing out loud in a session was a definite no-no in his profession.

"Something amusing, Doctor?"

"No, Mr Grey, I apologize. To return to your original question, based on what I have gathered from Dr Flynn's notes and what you have just revealed, I believe that while you can certainly function in a relationship without the BDSM aspect, the issue in this particular relationship is not relevant and might be subtracting from your couple's dynamic."

"And in English?"

"Anastasia doesn't seem too concerned about your Dominant tendencies, Mr Grey. Dominance and control are perhaps linked to each other but they are by no means synonymous. Whether you play the role of Dominant or not in your relationship is a choice. Your need for control however, is a symptom of your long standing PTSD."

"With the exception of some role play, Anastasia has never been my submissive, yet she has deliberately provoked my dominant tendencies. She knew I would feel better about myself, cope better with the uncertainty."

"Perhaps."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Despite your warning that she had to safe word or you wouldn't let her go, you did in fact let go, and despite her provocation at the end you again let her go, correct?"

"Yes, it was the right thing to do."

"And now the decision lies with her?"

"Yes, I told her I won't pursue her."

"For someone who is undeniably a dominant personality with control issues, that this is a rather lacklustre approach to rekindling a relationship, Mr Grey."

* * *

**Thursday, August 11****th**** – Rock Hill**

"Em, you've watched this tape a dozen times. What are you looking for?"

"I'm looking for the reason it's so bad," Emma mumbled, her eyes squinting at the demo tape she had prepared for the dance school, her mouth in a permanent pout.

"Who says it's bad?"

"I do."

"You don't have to send it until December," Mandy tried a different approach.

"Once they start trying to fix my leg, there is no guarantee I will be able to dance for months. You don't have to stay with me Mandy; I'll find my way home."

"Are you sure this is about your dance demo?" Mandy gently enquired.

"My parents are divorcing. There's nothing I can do about that. But I can, and I will, do something about this goddamn tape."

Very much in doubt that Emma could even see the screen through the tears filling her eyes, Mandy rested her arm across her friend's shoulders. "Okay. So where do we start?"

Quickly wiping the tears off her face, Emma pressed the pause button. "I have three minutes to make an impression," she explained. "This demo is…bland, average, uninspired…"

"But this is just the dance routine without the music."

"I wanted to make sure I cram as much technique as I can into it without getting distracted by the music."

"You usually go the other way around. You hear something and …you get one of those crazy ideas in your head… Making people **see** the music is your thing, Em. This," she waved at the still image, "is Miss Bowles'."

It took a moment but then Emma's fingers moved over the keyboard, scrolling through the music files. "No classical, ballet is so not my thing. No musicals, they've probably seen them all and then some. Jazz…"

"Urgh," Mandy nixed her friend's suggestion.

"Okay, no jazz. Nothing from the last ten years either, I'd look like an advert."

"How old are these people, anyway?"

"Anything from maybe thirty to sixty, why?"

"Perhaps you can choose something they might know, music they can connect with."

Emma stopped and stared at her friend. "No, they'll already have an image in their head. So nothing from the past…forty years or so. Rock'n' roll is too cliché, country doesn't quite have the beat I have in mind."

"So what's left?"

"Pop rock. At least forty years old. Instrumental or female singer or singers."

"You have an idea?"

"Maybe. I'll know when I hear it. Uh, might take a while. You don't have to stay with me."

"I don't mind but I think they might kick us out soon."

The only other place they could go was not something Emma was keen to bring up so she diverted: "Don't you have to meet Jake?"

"I'll have the whole weekend. Unless you've changed your mind…"

"No," Emma's hands dropped from the keyboard. "I'm going."

"I'm not sure I understand this," Mandy broke the suddenly uncomfortable silence.

"I can't lose him too," Emma whispered.

"Em…"

"You weren't there Mandy. Eddy's family, they are like the…Bundy bunch or something. You are in or you are out. If I don't go…He's leaving for Boston week after next."

"You're not losing your mom, Em. Her apartment is only ten minutes away from the house."

"Not the same thing."

"No, but…there are lots of other divorced parents. Donna and Rick and Suzie…."

"And now me."

"Your brothers adore you, both of them," Mandy tried a different angle.

"She's older than me, and smart, and she's also going to be in Boston."

"But you were his sister first!"

"Yeah, not sure I can claim squatter's rights on that one. And it's not just her, it's…everything else."

Her own hurt feelings making an unwelcome appearance, Mandy looked away.

"I can't tell you, Mandy. Please believe me. When I can, you'll be the first to know and I promise it will make sense."

"We've never had secrets from each other."

"It's not my secret," Emma pleaded with her friend.

"Okay, fine. So, your place or mine? I can't believe I'm helping you to not be here on our senior year!"

"Mine," Emma sighed. "I have some stuff that might work. Thanks Mandy."

Several hours later, something in the first few notes of a song caught Emma's attention and instead of skipping it like she had most of the slow paced tunes, she let it play. When Joan Jett's voice joined the instruments she sat up straight staring at the screen. By the time Mandy finally left, Emma had found her song and the rebellous lyrics played on repeat in both their heads:

_I don't tell you what to say,  
I don't tell you what to do,  
So just let me be myself,  
That's all I ask of you._

* * *

**Friday, August 12th – Rock Hill**

The house he had lived in for over sixteen years was unusually quiet when Dan entered the kitchen. He tossed two slices of rye in a toaster then proceeded to investigate the well-stocked shelves in the fridge. His children were gone for the weekend and the van with Belle's boxes had just left. Settling on turkey breast and a couple of cheddar slices, mustard and tabasco, he shunned the tomato and lettuce, piled everything on a chopping board, added a beer and returned to the family room.

It was done. He and Belle were separated. Whatever the future had in store…The finger that had paused over the remote control pressed down and brought the TV to life. Belle had wanted them to have dinner as a family, but that would have just sent the wrong message. A break was a break.

With some effort he sat through the news and the sports and watched a documentary about something or other without sending a single look to the empty armchair in the corner by the window. It was not the abandoned reading nook that haunted him. It was the reflection of her face in the window, that night three months ago, when she had admitted her feelings for a man she had not seen in eighteen years. Then there was the look on her face at Eddy's graduation and the meeting in the hospital room where the connection between her and Christian had been a living thing, filling the space around and between them and leaving him surplus to requirements. He had tried to win her over. Cooking dinner and dancing with her, getting back in shape, taking an interest in her work…too little too late. The change in her, the way she sat up straighter, the clothes that somehow fit her better, the fresh haircut and the glow on her skin…they were not for him.

'_What you and Grey have, what I had with Jane, it's never been like that between us, and it's not something we can make happen or work on."_

He offered the divorce and was surprised how much it hurt that she accepted. And then came Montana…

'_You found us. In spite of everything, you found us.'_

The naked adoration on her face had made him want to rip off the arms of the man holding her. The way the man looked at her froze him in his spot. Despite the kneejerk reaction at seeing another hold what could have been his…what he wanted was that kind of connection, that kind of relationship, but not necessarily her. What he felt was envy, not jealousy. While she had found the answer to her prayers, his lay elsewhere. So he had to let her go, for both their sakes.

* * *

**Saturday, August 13****th**** –Rock Hill**

The first thing Ana had to face in the morning was the image of her face reflected in the bathroom mirror. Her quiet musings the previous night and the brief contact with Christian had not resolved anything.

Dan had wanted a clean break. _'To do this one step at a time will tear us to pieces. Better to rip off the band aid all at once,' _he had explained as soon as they got back from Montana, while throwing clothes into a suitcase. She had had to physically get between him and his suitcase to get him to stop. Out loud she had argued that since it was her past that had brought them to this, she was the one who should move out. Left unspoken was the fact that this was Dan's life much more than hers.

Between work, looking for an apartment and many hours spent talking to Emma, the days had flown by. Once she found a place, both she and Dan had agreed it would be easier on the children, in particular on Emma, if she moved out while they were away. So for now she was renting the small two bedrooms flat while the paperwork for the actual buy went through.

The first evening in her new apartment she sat on the small balcony, taking in the limited view, allowing her mind to wonder. There was a chance she could bridge the gap, heal the gaping wound in her soul and yet...The inescapable truth was that she had lost herself in Christian and neither pursued her own dreams nor truly joined him in his. When she lost him, there was nothing left. That, more than anything else, had led her to Rock Hill. That was what had kept her in her non-descript existence. Despite the harrowing revelations in Montana, during the few hours she had spent with Christian she had felt…beautiful, desired, powerful. And that was why she had had to walk away and not had any contact with him since. Neither of them had resolved any of their issues. All she had to do was say the word, and Christian would lay his world at her feet…again, despite the fear that she might again leave him. And she was as dependent on him to make her feel whole as before.

When her phone buzzed with an incoming text message, the whirl of her thoughts came to a grinding halt.

**Christian: If you are still awake I would appreciate a call**

Somewhere in a hidden corner of her mind she had been expecting this and the realization had immediately brought on an annoyed frown. Not at him, he was just being Christian, but at herself. Before she gave in to the urge to just hear his voice, she quickly typed a reply:

**I'm fine. Just need some time to sort out a few things. **

She pressed send, and in the darkness and the silence her rational mind fought against the hand still clutching the inanimate object. As the seconds ticked by and it remained silent and dark, she eventually relaxed her grip, berating herself for the disappointment she couldn't deny. Then she almost dropped the phone when it once again vibrated in her hand.

**Christian: Goodnight Anastasia**

From that place deep inside responsible for the smile on the Mona Lisa's face, reassurance and hope had fluttered their wings. Reason be damned. With careful, gentle movements, she had replied

**Goodnight Christian**

When she had finally put the phone to rest on the table, the tranquillity required for sleep still evaded her, but the edge of anxiety was no longer forcing her muscles in painful knots.

In broad daylight however the tentatively hopeful thoughts of the previous night were quickly drowning under a fresh wave of guilt. The fact remained that she was leaving her husband and breaking their family for another man. She didn't intend to drag Emma away from her father or abandon her but…The haunted eyes in the mirror pleaded with her to find some answers before she once again lost everything that had any meaning to her.

"You've got to stop running, Anastasia!" she challenged herself, yet the haunted look remained. "You've got to stop hiding," she dared admit and the blue eyes in the mirror hardened. "Start at the beginning," she voiced her half formed thought and was finally able to tear her gaze from her reflected image.

Checking a few practical details didn't take long and left her with several hours to put her thoughts in order and set an agenda for a meeting long overdue. It wasn't until lunch time, when an empty fridge forced her to grab her purse and her car keys for a quick trip to the grocery store that she remembered she actually had security. If she just up and left, Christian would flip, and he didn't deserve that. On the other hand if he knew where she was going he would probably worry himself to death. Her eyes sweeping up and down the street didn't take long to locate a grey Toyota parked on the other side of the street with someone sitting in the driver's seat: a young woman, probably Callie Torres. Chewing on her bottom lip, Ana eventually decided the woman was probably too junior for what she had in mind, so she picked up her phone instead.

"McKenzie," the male voice answered on the second ring.

"Mr McKenzie, this is…Anabelle Parson," Ana frowned, adding her name to the list of things she needed to clarify. "I'm sorry to contact you on a Saturday but there is something I need to ask."

"It's quite all right ma'am. Is there a problem?"

"No, not at all. I was just wondering….Christian has obviously been informed I have moved out of the house. I would like to know how much of my activities are reported to him."

"Any permanent or long-term changes in your daily activities, anything that is perceived as a security threat and any significant accidents or incidents."

"So if I were to go somewhere for say overnight?"

For several seconds all Ana could hear was the faint sounds of the man's breathing. "As long as your detail is with you and they don't have any concerns regarding your safety then such a trip will probably not be considered significant."

"Okay, thank you."

"Mrs Parson…" McKenzie started in a pained voice, "you understand that your team **will** report to me?"

"Yes, I do. That's fine. I would however appreciate it if you could raise any potential concerns with me before you report to Christian."

The silence on the line was even longer this time. "Understood. May I ask where you are travelling to?"

"New Orleans. I have a ticket on the 4.39 flight this afternoon and I will return to Rock Hill tomorrow on the 7.25 am."

* * *

**Sunday, August 14****th**** \- Seattle**

At 8 am and on a Sunday, the GEH parking lot was essentially deserted. Ros's car was already in her spot and so was Grey's SUV. Sawyer didn't expect the other members of Grey's executive board to arrive until closer to nine, although they all knew better than to be late for a meeting with the boss. Not for the first time wondering at the strange series of events that had led him to have his own designated spot in the executive lot and a chair around that exclusive conference table, Luke covered the short distance to the elevator in long strides.

He was at GEH on a Sunday was because Grey had wanted a meeting with his whole board before his semi-permanent move to New York the following day, and he was here early because he needed a face to face with McKenzie, preferably before the man handed in his notice.

"Greg," he nodded at the man who stood up as soon as he stepped out of the elevator, "let's step into my office."

Luke opened the door to his office on the 16th floor of the main building of the GEH complex, then directed his subordinate to a chair and finally took a seat behind his desk.

"You wanted to see me Greg?"

"Grey offered me the Team leader position for GEH operations on the East Coast."

"In 18 months, yes."

"I assume you are aware of his terms?"

"You remain in charge of his personal protection between now and then. It would mean one more year but with more time spent in a supervisory and coordinating capacity than on close protection detail. Somewhat of a middle ground between what you are doing now and the Team Leader position. You have a problem with that?"

"My gut tells me I'm about to get caught between a rock and a hard place. "

"Any particular reason why your gut has developed that particular insight?"

"Anabelle Parson. I am concerned that she won't play ball security wise. And so are you." In response to Sawyer's raised eyebrow, McKenzie explained: "First sign of trouble and you showed up in Montana to '_provide intel as required'_. I did some digging. Payroll shows both Jason Taylor and you were working security when she was married to Grey. I already know you and Taylor are friends, and the whole situation confuses the hell out of me."

"Why?"

"Because when she laid eyes on Taylor the night of the kid's graduation she ripped him a new one, but then in Montana she greeted **you** as if you were a long lost friend. In between, she completely ignores her detail, acts as if they aren't even there, so I have no idea where she is at."

"But she has not tried to evade them?"

"No, but I think that's more a matter of circumstances than choice."

"I was her CPO when Jason was Grey's head of security," Sawyer admitted. "Grey and Jason had a tendency to keep her out of the loop so most of the time she had no idea why some security measure or other was necessary. That was mistake number one and it led to several minor and a few major incidents. She is very personable and was on a first name basis with all of us, whether Grey liked it or not. Jason got too close, too involved, and lost sight of the bigger picture. That was mistake number two. I suspect her anger at him is more along the lines of feeling betrayed by someone she considered a friend than resentment against security. Mistake number three…we have all made it at one time or another. Grey worships the ground she walks on, so when she had an issue with security she usually managed to talk him out of it. Knowing that, we'd keep Jason informed, but we broke protocol more than once at her request…Something you need to tell me, Greg?" Sawyer reacted to the change in expression on McKenzie's face.

"She called me yesterday. She wanted to know how much we report back to Grey about her. She asked me to address any concerns with her before I report to him."

"That might help if you want her collaboration."

"And what do you propose I do if I can't reach her?"

"What do you mean you can't reach her?"

"She went to see her mother, was supposed to return to Rock Hill today. She is currently in transit via a commercial flight."

Cold sweat spreading a chill underneath his $2000 suit, Lucas Sawyer sat very straight and very still in his executive chair. "I take it she is not en route to Rock Hill?"

"Nope."

"But you **do** know where she is going?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Spit it out, McKenzie!"

"At 0600 PST she boarded a direct flight to Seattle, scheduled to arrive 1250."

**AN: apologies for the cliffie, at least it's not an angst filled one... and before you ask, yes the next chapter will be (mostly) Ana and Christian. **


End file.
